Cortex comes through, again! August 30, 2006 9:11 PM   Subscribe


That's some quality work right there!
posted by jonson at 9:14 PM on August 30, 2006


He's pretty good at coming thru, that cortex is.
posted by dobbs at 10:02 PM on August 30, 2006


Verily, the man doth put.
posted by loquacious at 10:04 PM on August 30, 2006


delicious.
posted by casconed at 10:07 PM on August 30, 2006


The Bard of MetaFilter!
posted by brain_drain at 10:09 PM on August 30, 2006


So how long before Rolling Stone accuses him of selling out?
posted by gsteff at 10:15 PM on August 30, 2006


Needs more cowbell.
posted by Dunwitty at 1:02 AM on August 31, 2006


...metatalk!

I can't be the only one who constantly ends conversations and songs (in my head) with the vigorous "MetaTalk!"-shout from 'Matthewchen is Spamming'?
posted by slimepuppy at 1:34 AM on August 31, 2006


I just found the asshat song a couple days ago, and I spent all yesterday serenading my fiance with "Asshat......you're an asshat." He is growing weary of it, but goddammit is that a catchy tune.
posted by chiababe at 2:53 AM on August 31, 2006


You are so foxy!
posted by OmieWise at 5:28 AM on August 31, 2006


Hi!
posted by cortex at 6:29 AM on August 31, 2006


no, slimepuppy, you're not the only one! I do that too!

I also do that with various verses from Requiem for <blink> all the fucking time – especially the passionately intoned "elephants pissing"…
good news for the insane, upload the requiem to µFi already!

I also finish rebukes in my head with love, jessamyn...
posted by blasdelf at 6:31 AM on August 31, 2006


Damn, cortex, that was incredible. I will subscribe to your newsletter buy your CD.
posted by languagehat at 7:02 AM on August 31, 2006


Thanks, Cortex! And languagehat for the lyrics! And metafilter for the silliness that inspired the Churlish Pule!

Hell, I'm inspired to attempt a clarinet lick for it.
posted by frecklefaerie at 8:04 AM on August 31, 2006


Actually, I take it back. I don't hear a clarinet in it anymore.
posted by frecklefaerie at 8:15 AM on August 31, 2006


cortex, I'm disappointed you would do languagehat's song, but you won't do a cover of my song I sent you. It's desperately in need of a cortex treatment. :(
posted by dios at 8:16 AM on August 31, 2006


Wait, the country-blues ballad about killing or not killing the wife, that one? That was a totally decent performance, man. I don't know why you haven't posted it to Music yourself.
posted by cortex at 8:19 AM on August 31, 2006


The Bard of MetaFilter!
posted by brain_drain at 12:09 AM CST on August 31


For sure! Perhaps we should also give the lyricist a title, too: languagehat: the Poet Laureate of Metafilter!
posted by dios at 8:24 AM on August 31, 2006


"languagehat: the Poet Laureate of Metafilter"

I beg your pardon. I have not yet seen languagehat produce "...a 40-page Dr Seuss story, complete with illustrations".
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:46 AM on August 31, 2006


mcd, I was thinking for you that you could be the Official Driver of Metafilter. We could sponsor a car for you or something. That, or we could make you Metafilter's Ambassador to the Mormon Church.
posted by dios at 9:16 AM on August 31, 2006


The best feature added to mefi is clearly Cortex and his all singing, all picking genius one man band metathemesongs. You can take your favorites blahblah and your mefijobs roopteydoo and your psychedelic live preview eyewash and wrap 'em up in bubblegum and send 'em to the Rastafarian Navy. Just gimme Cortex and a hot can of beans and I'm happier than a dead pig in the sunshine. That's a double fact by fuckin' crackity.

I am reserving a large "mystery box" of prizes and rewards for whoever writes the book and music to the Metafilter version of Alice's Resturant, a LARGE MYSTERY BOX! There wil be at least one laser pointer and one live (when mailed) baby turtle from Chinatown in that box my friends, any salmonella is just lagniappe, from me to you. The other prizes are too costly and fabulous and counterfeit to enumerate in this unencrypted channel, so just let your mind wander. Sharpen those pencils, get down the fancy sunday best staff paper with the treble cleff hand illustrated by blind Irish monks, IT WILL BE WORTH IT!
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:27 AM on August 31, 2006 [3 favorites]


YEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAW!
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:30 AM on August 31, 2006


Eponysterical!
posted by languagehat at 10:16 AM on August 31, 2006


where is the asshat song? I need to make an audio-sig out of that.
posted by By The Grace of God at 10:24 AM on August 31, 2006


Here ya go, Divine_Wino

###

mathowie's community weblog
(with apologies to Arlo Guthrie
and mathowie
and pretty much everybody else)


This song is called mathowie's community weblog, and it's about mathowie, and the community weblog, but mathowie's community weblog is not the name of the community weblog, that's just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song mathowie's community weblog.

You can get the best of the web at mathowie's community weblog
You can get the best of the web at mathowie's community weblog
Head on over to MetaFilter.com
If you don’t like somethin’, just flag it and move on
You can get the best of the web at mathowie's community weblog

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was one - two years ago around Thanksgiving, when I clicked over to visit mathowie at the community weblog; only I don’t read the community weblog, I read MetaTalk, the police blotter of the community weblog, AKA “The Gray,” after “The Gray Lady,” AKA The New York Times, which is where most of the community weblog’s links come from that weren’t on Boing Boing, Fark, Wikipedia, or YouTube. The Gray is where mathowie hides out with his trusty sidekick jessamyn and the wonder twins Oolong and Ceiling Cat. And livin' in the MetaCave like that (which is hosted in the long-forgot basement stacks of an undisclosed West Coast library), they got a lot of open threads where the serious comments would go in The Blue and The Green if anybody had ever got around to making serious comments in The Blue and The Green instead of calling each other out to The Gray. Havin' all that room in The Gray, seein' as how they relaxed the rules a bit, they decided that they didn't have to take out The Banhammer unless some serious shit went down.

So I got over there, I found all the garbage in there, and I decided it'd be a patriotic gesture to post an elephant shitting the American flag. So I took a .gif of an elephant shitting, and a .gif of the American flag and loaded them into Photoshop™, used the lasso and layers and filters of mass destruction and headed back over to The Gray.

Well, I got back over there and there was an error message saying, "J-Run." And I couldn’t believe The Filter was down on Thanksgiving, and with tears in my eyes I surfed around the Net looking for another place to post an animated .gif of an elephant shitting the American flag.

I didn't find one. Until I came to Daily Kos, and down at the bottom of a 400 comment thread about George Clooney’s hair was another .gif of an elephant shitting the American flag. And I decided that two .gifs of an elephant shitting the American flag is better than one .gif of an elephant shitting the American flag, so I posted mine.

That's what I did, and then I went back to MetaFilter, which was back up again, and I found a thread in AskMe about how many five-year-olds you could take down in a fair fight, and I fell asleep and dreamed about being a zombie secretly controlled by an alien quonsar fish that said “i'm in UR pants killing UR p00bs” and didn't get up until the next morning, when I got an IM from John Ashcroft. He said, "D00d, we found your IP address on a log file at the bottom of a 400 comment thread about George Clooney’s hair, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it." And I said, "Alles klar, Herr Kommissar, I cannot tell a lie: I hacked that site and put that IP address in that log file. >;-p"

After texting Asscrust for about fourty-five minutes we finally arrived at the truth of the matter and he said that I had to delete that file and any copies of that file, and he was comin’ to see me. So I deleted that file and the copies of the file and the warez copy of Photoshop™ with the lasso and layers and filters of mass destruction and then the black helicopters showed up and The Assturnkey General busted down my door with an elite team of The Geek Squad.

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Darth Ashcroft coulda done at my apartment, and the first was he coulda had his buddies give me a Medal of Freedom for being so brave and honest and had me appointed to some sweet government post I was totally unqualified for, which wasn't very likely, and I didn't expect it, and the other thing was he coulda bawled me out and told me never to be caught disrespecting the beloved symbol of the Republican Party again, which is what I expected, but when he got to my apartment there was a third possibility that I hadn't even counted upon, and I was immediately arrested. Stripped. Handcuffed. Waterboarded. Held without charge at an undisclosed location for a year-and-a-half.

And that's what I did, squatted in the back of a dank, dark cell while CSI: Constitution scrubbed the quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want to tell you about the town of [censored], where this happened here: They got two thousand, twenty-three Starbucks, fifteen Wal-Marts, and one police car with Nascar logos on it, but at the Scene of the Crime there was five hundred mobile media vans and two hundred, thirty-two bloggers, this being the biggest crime of the last fifty years not involving celebrity pederasty, and everybody wanted to be the top Google hit about it. And they was using up all kinds of NSA equipment that they had brought over to the apartment. They was taking images of my registry files, wiretap logs of my cellphone calls, RIAA RFID DRM bug records from my breakfast cereal boxes, and they took twenty-seven DNA samples, each file and log and record and sample with timestamps and nano bot security signatures and expert witness testimony blacked out so no one could ever tell how the evidence was to be used against me. Took pictures of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to mention the colonoscopy.

After a year-and-a-half, I was brought to a secret tribunal. Auschcropft said he was going to convict me of treason. Said, "D00d, I'm going to take your life, but first I want you to know that I’ve hacked your MetaFilter account and deleted your pr0n." And I said, "D00d! I can understand you wanting to kill me, but why’d you hack my MetaFilter account and delete my pr0n for?" And he said, "I don’t want you going to Hell happy." I said, "D00d, you think I’m going to Hell for Photoshopping?" Assgrab said if nothing else, I was going to Hell for diluting the Photoshop™ trademark. And friends, he was serious, cause he used my account to shit all over MetaFilter. And it was about four or five hours later that mathowie (remember mathowie? It's a song about mathowie), mathowie took a look around MetaFilter and with a few nasty words banned my account. And I fell asleep and dreamed about mushrooms the size of grizzly bears and didn't get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

I walked in, sat down, Arsoncrapped came in with the registry files, wiretap logs of my cellphone calls, RIAA RFID DRM bug records from my breakfast cereal boxes, and the twenty-seven DNA samples, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up, and The Eagle soared with the registry files, wiretap logs of my cellphone calls, RIAA RFID DRM bug records from my breakfast cereal boxes, and the twenty-seven DNA samples, and the judge walked in sat down with a copy of the US Constitution, and he sat down, we sat down. The Attorney General Grievous looked at the US Constitution, and then at the registry files, wiretap logs of my cellphone calls, RIAA RFID DRM bug records from my breakfast cereal boxes, and the twenty-seven DNA samples, and looked at the US Constitution. And then at the registry files, wiretap logs of my cellphone calls, RIAA RFID DRM bug records from my breakfast cereal boxes, and the twenty-seven DNA samples and began to cry, 'cause d00d came to the realization that it was an atypical case of actual American justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the judge wasn't going to look at the registry files, wiretap logs of my cellphone calls, RIAA RFID DRM bug records from my breakfast cereal boxes, and the twenty-seven DNA samples. And I was fined $50 for indecency and charged $150,000 for room and board for a year-and-a-half, but that’s not what I came to tell you about.

Came to talk about Web 2.0.

They got a marketing blog, it's called [censored], where you log in, you get prepped, repped, strepped, fapped, and FPP’d. I went down to get my sockpuppets darned one day, and I logged in, I checked in, got good and drunk before posting, so I’d be undetectable from the rest of the blogosphere. `Cause I wanted to sound like the all-American kid from Wankerville, man I wanted, I wanted to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from Wankerville, and I logged in, sat down, I was hung over, rung over, fired up and wired up, and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I logged in and sat down and they gave me an EULA, said, "D00d, PM HR, LOL!!OMG."

And I PM’d HR, I said, "D00d, I want to spam. I mean, I wanna, I wanna spam. Spam. I wanna, I wanna post, I wanna post lightly diluted ad copy and clumsily misapplied hipster jargon-laden heartfelt testimonials about penis creams. I want to be a FOX News Incubus. I mean spam, Spam, SPAM, SPAM." And I started sending winks and nudges and ASCII swastika emoticons typing, "SPAM, SPAM," and he started sending winks and nudges and ASCII swastika emoticons with me and we was both winking and nudging yelling, "SPAM, SPAM." And the HR flunky bar-coded my virtual taint, sent me a billing number, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't feel too good about it.

Proceeded on through the interview gettin more prepped, repped, strepped, fapped, and FPP’d and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty ugly things and I was just having a tough time there with my soul withering and my carpal tunnel syndrome acting up, and they was Googling every single account I’d ever had, and they was leaving no cache untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally emailed the last man, after a whole big thing there, I emailed the last man and said, "What else do you want?" He said, "D00d, we only got one question: Have you ever been banned?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the mathowie's community weblog Massacre, with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "D00d, have you ever been contacted by the RIAA?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the registry files, wiretap logs of my cellphone calls, RIAA RFID DRM bug records from my breakfast cereal boxes, and the twenty-seven DNA samples, and he stopped me right there and said, "D00d, I want you to go and wait in the chat room says “W” .... NOW, D00d!!"

And I, I entered the, the chat room there, and there is… Group W's where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the secret army after committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly users lurking in the chat room there. Self linkers. Trolls. Neocons! Neocons posting right there in the chat room with me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible white collar crime-type d00ds in the chat room with me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest self-linking, double-posting, Neocon troll of them all was talking to me and was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and typed my name and said, "Coulter: d00d, whad'ya get?" I said, "IRFH: I didn't get nothing, I had to pay $5 and make five comments, like everybody else." Coulter said, "What were you banned for, d00d?" And I said, "Animated .gifs." And they all “LOL’ed” and “n00bed”, and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, "And treason." And they all wanted to have my babies, and we had a great time in the chat room, talkin about spam, trolling, equity index annuities, all kinds of groovy things that we was chatting about in the chat room. And everything was fine, we was trading Irish baby recipes and all kinds of things, until the admin came in and said:

"D00ds, this-modified-EULA's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and typed for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling out the forms and IMing each other about what an asshat he was, and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and typed it in there, just like it was, and everything was fine and sent the file, and I opened the auto-return-receipt, and there at the bottom, centered in the middle of the page, away from everything else on the page, in parentheses, all caps, quotated, Comic Sans, read the following words:

("d00d, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

I IM’d the admin, said, "D00d, you got a lot a damn gall to ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm sittin' here in the chat room, I mean I'm sittin here in the Group W chat room 'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough to join the secret army, infiltrate, deceive, and spam women, kids, whole communities after posting an animated .gif?" He nudged me and said, "D00d, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send your credit report off to Nigeria."

And friends, somewhere in Nigeria ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.

And the only reason I'm singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if you’re in a situation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's log onto the Net wherever you are, go to the first viral marketing blog you can Google and post "D00d, You can get the best of the web, at mathowie's community weblog." And log out. You know, if one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and they won't listen. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both liberals and they won't listen to either of them. And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people logging on posting a bar of mathowie's community weblog and logging out? They may think it's a denial of service attack. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day, I said fifty people a day logging in posting a bar of mathowie's community weblog and logging out. And friends, they may thinks it's a movement. And they'll have so many meetings trying to figure out how to profit from it that maybe they'll leave us alone for awhile.

And that's what it is, the mathowie's community weblog Anti-Spam Movement, and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it comes around on the guitar.

With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and sing it when it does. Here it comes.

You can get the best of the web, at mathowie's community weblog
You can get the best of the web, at mathowie's community weblog
Head on over to MetaFilter.com
If you don’t like somethin’, just flag it and move on
You can get the best of the web, at mathowie's community weblog

That was horrible. If you want to end spam and stuff you got to sing loud. I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part harmony and feeling.

We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.

All right now.

You can get the best of the web, at mathowie's community weblog
(Excepting pancakes)
You can get the best of the web, at mathowie's community weblog
Head on over to MetaFilter.com
If you don’t like somethin’, just flag it and move on
You can get the best of the web, at mathowie's community weblog
(This treason – it vibrates?)

Da da da da da da da dum
At mathowie's community weblog

(MetaTalk!)

-Luv, IRFH
posted by False Dichotomy at 4:18 PM on August 31, 2006 [200 favorites]


I haven't even finished reading it yet, but that may be the Single. Best. Comment. Evar.
posted by yhbc at 4:24 PM on August 31, 2006


Holy sweet limping mother of fucking ten day old shit in dented tin mining helmet, IRFH. Not for fucking nothing or nothing but that just tore the whole top of my fucking head off. Email's in the profile, your prizes and rewards are on the way as soon as you hip me to your locale or mail drop, sky's the limit pardner and never let it be said that I don't honor my commitments. Anyone crazy enough to record that will be also rewarded and prized and holy fucking SHIT!!!!1111111!!!!!!!!!!!


Mother of crapping fuckadoodledoo goddamit.


I can't hang, I simply cannot hang.
posted by Divine_Wino at 4:30 PM on August 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


CORTEX, YOU GOTS SOME SANGIN' AND A-PLAYIN' TA DO
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:51 PM on August 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


Once again my faith in humanity (and my deep sense of inadequacy) is restored by IRFH. That hurts its so good, and the last word is, indeed, the last word. Email me and I'll send you a fucking prize too you beautiful fucker.
posted by OmieWise at 4:52 PM on August 31, 2006


Awesome. That song and a MetaTalk post-free day* are like the best xmas presents ever.




* DON'T YOU FUCKERS RUIN MY BEAUTIFUL DREAM. IT CAN HAPPEN IF WE ALL PULL TOGETHER.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 5:07 PM on August 31, 2006 [5 favorites]


*applauds wildly, sends out a few catcalls*
posted by moira at 5:09 PM on August 31, 2006


That song and a MetaTalk post-free day* are like the best xmas presents ever.

There's a one-link newsfilter post AND a boring youtube post (sorry cortex) on the blue I was thinking of calling out.

What's it worth to you for me not to?
posted by dersins at 5:22 PM on August 31, 2006


IHRF, that is a thing of goddam beauty. I just read/sang the whole thing to myself in my best Arlo impression, and now my goddam throat is raw, and I'm painfully aware of how bad my best Arlo impression is, and I'm grinning like a madman.

a boring youtube post (sorry cortex)

No apologies. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but there's not a whole lot to defend.
posted by cortex at 5:31 PM on August 31, 2006


IRFH, even.

Well, FD, even even.

posted by cortex at 5:31 PM on August 31, 2006


Well, THAT brought back memories.
posted by konolia at 5:45 PM on August 31, 2006


Boy, am I late to the party. I have nothing to add (how could I?) other than: brilliant, cortex, and brilliant, IRFH.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:59 PM on August 31, 2006


elephant shitting the American flag

+
posted by ericb at 6:03 PM on August 31, 2006


Cortex is our singing Mayorbob!

*ducks*

<3
posted by absalom at 7:21 PM on August 31, 2006


I'd like to add before we sway too far away from the starting point that I am deeply appreciative of languagehat's lyrical powers as well. "Grunt like a mule" indeed.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:45 PM on August 31, 2006


This is all a bit overwhelming in its beauty.
posted by kosem at 8:00 PM on August 31, 2006


I suppose this is true somewhat regularly, but how much moreso in this instance right here: to whom could you possibly explain this thread, and how long would it take?
posted by kosem at 8:04 PM on August 31, 2006


See, now stuff like that makes me proud to still remember my password.
posted by me3dia at 8:24 PM on August 31, 2006


Bestest MeTa thread evah!!!!!!
posted by Lynsey at 8:33 PM on August 31, 2006


*dabs at eyes*

I'm ok.. just misti...err something in my... holy crap.
posted by loquacious at 8:51 PM on August 31, 2006


IRFH rules, ok.
posted by Zack_Replica at 10:37 PM on August 31, 2006


A Dandy Warhols reference is a totally inappropriate insult to Flo, Zach_Replica.
posted by dersins at 11:04 PM on August 31, 2006


I watch MeTa all day and no new threads. No flameouts, no pissing contests, no nothing. Mathowie's Dream results in boredeom. Then this comment appears at 7:18 EST. My God. No wonder. IRFH must've been channeling all that MeTa energy himself. I will sleep on this and look forward to tomorrow.
posted by yeti at 11:15 PM on August 31, 2006


Insult? noooo! never! I wasn't actually channelling the (wonderful) Dandy Warhols, just a general British "this is v.cool". Though the DH's are cool in themselves. Just a general w00t all around.
posted by Zack_Replica at 11:53 PM on August 31, 2006


[this is good]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:40 AM on September 1, 2006


Best whatever, ever!



to whom could you possibly explain this thread, and how long would it take?

No one

Forever
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:30 AM on September 1, 2006


I have tried explaining metatalk threads to my gf before when she asked me what I was laughing at.

She always says something about the interweb crawling up its own ass.
posted by empath at 7:44 AM on September 1, 2006


Oh, and the sideblog link to IRFH's masterpiece is totally b0rked.

"http://mhttp//www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifetatalk.metafilter.com/mefi/12608#339118"
Tsk.

posted by hangashore at 7:46 AM on September 1, 2006


http://mhttp//www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifetatalk.metafilter.com/mefi/12608#339118

TOTALLY BORKED
posted by quonsar at 8:05 AM on September 1, 2006


the (wonderful) Dandy Warhols

This is a joke, right Zach_Replica?
posted by dersins at 8:18 AM on September 1, 2006


Now, I never want to write filk ever again, for I have seen The Perfect.
posted by dw at 9:20 AM on September 1, 2006


Wow. Just, wow. False Dichotomy is my new hero.
posted by Bugg at 11:10 AM on September 1, 2006


Bravo! FD, IRFH, whoever you are - that sockpuppet can write!
posted by Quietgal at 11:51 AM on September 1, 2006


[this fucking rocked]
posted by eriko at 12:13 PM on September 1, 2006


It's Reigning Florence Henderson
posted by riotgrrl69 at 12:13 PM on September 1, 2006 [2 favorites]


It's Reigning Florence Henderson

Ha!
posted by cortex at 12:22 PM on September 1, 2006


Far. Freaking. Out.

I *knew* this was a hippie place. I just knew it. I'm home.
posted by mmahaffie at 12:48 PM on September 1, 2006


It's Raining Florence Henderson, the man with an endless supply of free time, imagination, and $5.00 bills.
Originally Man O' Straw.
AKA:
the shitty Baldwin
Dr. Tarr and Professor Feather
jagged glass dildo
Pot
Kettle
and now False Dichotomy.

Are there more puppets in his sock drawer?
posted by Cranberry at 1:00 PM on September 1, 2006


I *knew* this was a hippie place. I just knew it. I'm home.

I think, to be perfectly honest, that it is a freak place, but most hippies are welcome, depending on discretion in drum circles and willingness to share drugs, as always.

Prize box is being prepped Flo, drop a brother a line. Otherwise to quote myself and that much maligned rabbi of joke and fable, I'm just going to throw the prizes in the air and whatever God wants... he keeps.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:23 PM on September 1, 2006


discretion in drum circles

That reminds me of a joke I just heard today.

What's worse than a drum circle?
posted by dersins at 1:48 PM on September 1, 2006


A FPP about drum circles?
posted by turbodog at 2:00 PM on September 1, 2006


That post has got to win $30 for every day in September.
posted by bink at 2:20 PM on September 1, 2006


What's worse than a drum circle?

Nothing.
posted by dersins at 2:41 PM on September 1, 2006


Holy sweet limping mother of fucking ten day old shit in dented tin mining helmet, IRFH.

Yes, what he said. Unbelievable. As someone antique enough to have bought Arlo's original LP in 1967, and seen him perform that restaurant masterpiece several times back then (while he opened for Judy Collins), I'm stunned by how perfectly Florence Dicotomy's new, mathowie blues version both captures the present so well, and also brings back those long-forgotten days. A remarkable feat.
posted by LeLiLo at 5:14 PM on September 1, 2006


As a child, I remember eating at Alice Brock's original restaurant on down an alley on Main Street in Stockbridge, MA. Later, I ate at the other Alice's Restaurant (previously the Avaloch Inn; now theApple Tree Inn), owned by Alice Brock and Arlo Gutherie until 1979 and across the way from Tanglewood in Lenox.
posted by ericb at 6:14 PM on September 1, 2006


As a child, I remember wasting hours in Mathowie's original weblog down on a deadend alley in the old web 1.0. Later, I spent a lot of time in the other Mathowie's weblog, but I don't really know when that was, as there was some confusion about what time zone I was in.
posted by koeselitz at 7:11 PM on September 1, 2006


Holy crap, that was incredible, IRFH. I could hear Arlo through the whole thing. Obviously we'll need to link back to this on Nov 23rd.
posted by intermod at 7:54 PM on September 1, 2006


Wow. Uh... thanks, everybody! I was off making a shitty mp3 for cortex to torture his friends with, didn't realize this had gotten so much attention. Thanks for all the kind words. DW, I'll drop you a line soon.

-IRFH
posted by False Dichotomy at 4:00 AM on September 2, 2006


Meh - it's not so good.

/silently weeps
posted by Sparx at 4:47 AM on September 2, 2006


I was off making a shitty mp3 for cortex to torture his friends with

Ooh! Goodie!
posted by cortex at 7:50 AM on September 2, 2006


Tears of maudlin joy are running down my ancient laugh-maimed cheeks. I may know how to get this to Arlo (my ex is a friend of his) & will try. He needs to see it. I need to hear the put-to-music version when someone does it. Please keep us posted. And never close this thread. I love you all. Well, today I do. tomorrow I return to being a:
posted by Hobgoblin at 10:48 AM on September 2, 2006


...a colon?
posted by languagehat at 11:41 AM on September 2, 2006


im in ur base recordin ur song
posted by cortex at 3:24 PM on September 2, 2006


Late to the party but I must say, IRFH, since scody's going to be off having cortex's babies, I'd be delighted to have yours. Millions of them. Except I've already had some babies and they're way overrated, so how about we have puppies instead?
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:02 PM on September 2, 2006


Damn, if Hobgoblin could get it to Arlo, couldn't you just imagine for one second....if Arlo dusted off the guitar....

Whoa.
posted by pjern at 3:28 AM on September 3, 2006


Holy wow.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:22 AM on September 3, 2006


I just saw Arlo in concert last year, and he sang Alice's Restaurant, being the 40th Anniversary of the song. He sounded great, and the concert was lots of fun. How cool would it be.......just imagine......nahh, I don't want to get too excited.
posted by Iamtherealme at 10:01 AM on September 3, 2006


Just you wait.

Nervously shifts eyes from left to right
posted by French Fry at 12:35 PM on September 3, 2006


Just you wait.

Quiet, man! You'll ruin everything!

posted by cortex at 1:24 PM on September 3, 2006


I read that out loud to my girlfriend (who thinks MeFi's just a bunch of assholes, and she's right, including me!) in my best Arlo voice, and damn if that just rings too true.
posted by notsnot at 9:29 PM on September 3, 2006


It is done! Somebody owes us a coke.
posted by cortex at 10:43 PM on September 3, 2006


cortex comes through again AGAIN!

Listening to it now, with great enjoyment. Whee!
posted by languagehat at 5:56 AM on September 4, 2006


Too awesome.
posted by slimepuppy at 6:48 AM on September 4, 2006


I thought this was The Brown.

The Gray are those little guys in flying saucers buzzing central america making 'beep beep' noises at the natives.

One hell of a derail there. Good work. Now who's gonna record the Arlo Guthrie rewrite?
posted by ZachsMind at 10:19 AM on September 4, 2006


Whoops. Never mind.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:20 AM on September 4, 2006


I thought this was The Brown. - ZachsMind

Depends on your monitor settings (and your eyes, I suppose). I've seen a huge variety of renderings.
posted by raedyn at 8:17 AM on September 6, 2006


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