Open Letter to the Mods

September 13, 2007 4:56 PM

Thank you, Matt, Jessamyn, PB and Cortex. I don't idolize you. I don't always agree with you. Sometimes your decisions confuse me. Sometimes they anger me. Sometimes your ban hammer needs fine-tuning. More often than not, you are spot on. But no matter what, every little thing every one of you does is analyzed to the nth degree, and I wouldn't want your job. So, thank you for doing the dirty work so I can come in here and obsessively reload every day.
posted by misha to MetaFilter-Related at 4:56 PM (89 comments total)

Ah, the six-month asskiss. I remember that feeling.

Now I'm just waiting for the seven-year itch.
posted by Ufez Jones at 4:59 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

So, thank you for doing the dirty work

they don't wanna do your dirty work, no more...
posted by jonmc at 4:59 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

Praising with faint damns?
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 4:59 PM on September 13, 2007 [4 favorites]

so I can come in here and obsessively reload every day.

Reload, eh? RELOAD? Clever use of codeword, misha, but you're not fooling anybody! Gun threats? You're off your rocker! Banhammer time!

Now, isn't someone going to post an open letter to the Rockers?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:00 PM on September 13, 2007

You have great personalities.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:01 PM on September 13, 2007 [6 favorites]

Oh, irony that would entail, were misha banned for this post... one second, I have to go giggle madly in a corner.
posted by tehloki at 5:02 PM on September 13, 2007

Close the thread now, before it becomes... well, SOMETHING.
posted by wendell at 5:03 PM on September 13, 2007

Fucks, every one of you. Except for the moderators - you're good fucks.
posted by item at 5:04 PM on September 13, 2007 [4 favorites]

I, for one, welcome our new not idolized, disagreable, confusing, angering, need fine-tuning overlords.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:05 PM on September 13, 2007

I'd just like to thank Misha for thanking the admins. Thank you, that is all.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 5:05 PM on September 13, 2007

I still fucking hate every single goddamn one of you.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:06 PM on September 13, 2007 [9 favorites]

If this thread is not immediately closed I will resign my membership in protest.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:07 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

Love, BitterOldPunk.
posted by cgc373 at 5:08 PM on September 13, 2007

yes, ebk, but do still hate fucking every single goddam one of us?
posted by jonmc at 5:09 PM on September 13, 2007

If this thread IS closed immediately, i'll resign MY membership in protest.

It seems we are at an impasse.
posted by empath at 5:09 PM on September 13, 2007

I'm not going to resign my membership no matter what. Instead, I'll be a slow and mildly irritating thorn in everyone's side.
posted by item at 5:11 PM on September 13, 2007 [4 favorites]

But item, thorns make me feel so good.
posted by cgc373 at 5:16 PM on September 13, 2007

Yeah, I expected all of this. But isn't it better than another whining call-out? I was getting tired of that stuff. And I kinda would like to have SOME of you all stick around for a while. You're dropping like flies. And the mods have to put up with your crap all the time, so who knows when they will crack?

And I'm home sick. With a sore throat and a sniffle. Bet you feel bad now, bastards.
posted by misha at 5:16 PM on September 13, 2007

Ah, the six-month asskiss.

actually, it's only four months. But I'm precocious
posted by misha at 5:19 PM on September 13, 2007

it seems we're at an empath
posted by mathowie (staff) at 5:19 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

pb is officially mod-tastic now right?

Because now that there are four of them, the options for side projects skyrocket.

May I be the first to suggest a barbershop quartet.
posted by quin at 5:22 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]

Fun fact: mathowie has used the word "seems" exactly 701 times in comments across metafilter, including that'n.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:23 PM on September 13, 2007

PB and Cortex

this sounds like a rather unappetizing sandwich.
posted by jonmc at 5:24 PM on September 13, 2007 [14 favorites]

Does not quite stack up against the classics.
posted by Rhomboid at 5:27 PM on September 13, 2007

Fun fact: mathowie has used the word "seems" exactly 701 times in comments across metafilter

What's fun about that? Aw hell, thanks for the update Rainman!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:28 PM on September 13, 2007 [8 favorites]

I only hate fucking eyeballkid.

Thanks, mods.
posted by loquacious at 5:29 PM on September 13, 2007

They're the kind of mods that put you down when friends are there you feel a fool...
posted by Kwine at 5:30 PM on September 13, 2007

You guys are awesome!


































Can I have the rest of your french fries?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:30 PM on September 13, 2007

it seems we're at an empath

Gol-dernit, mathowie beat me to it!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:32 PM on September 13, 2007

Aw hell, thanks for the update Rainman!

He's also used the word "driver" 14 times, "definitely" 187, and "good" 1594.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:33 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

I've got sunshine
On a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside,
I've got the month of May.

Weh-ell, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My mods. (My mods, my mods)
Talkin' 'bout my mods. (My mods!)
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:35 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]

I especially hate you jonmc, how's that?

And if I get around to NY next year, as planned, I'll hate you over a beer again.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:37 PM on September 13, 2007

Thanks for all you guys do!
posted by iamkimiam at 5:37 PM on September 13, 2007

I feel warm all over. But that might just be the thorazine.
posted by jonmc at 5:38 PM on September 13, 2007

I'm going to have to agree that that fact was sorely lacking in fun.

How about a by-user tally of the syllable 'fuck'? I only ask because I think I might be the fucking winner of that fucking game, fuckos!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:58 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

Bet you feel bad now, bastards.

I do not think this place means what you think it means.
posted by mckenney at 6:07 PM on September 13, 2007

PB and Cortex
this sounds like a rather unappetizing sandwich.

Are you kidding? It sounds cerebralicious!

Oh yeah, and thanks, modz.

Damn, there's four asses to kiss now?
posted by languagehat at 6:11 PM on September 13, 2007

WE ARE THE MODS
WE ARE THE MODS
WE ARE WE ARE
WE ARE THE MODS

Sorry, I just wanted to do it first.
posted by yhbc at 6:16 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

"Praising with faint damns?"

Remind me to construct some sort of lengthy narrative that justifies such a pun about mares, foals and the vapors.
posted by klangklangston at 6:18 PM on September 13, 2007

Driver definitely seems good.

Definitely seems good, driver.

Driver seems good, definitely.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:20 PM on September 13, 2007

Actually, you make a good showing; out of about 660K total words, you've got 412 fucks, 335 fuckings, 46 fuckin's, 40 fuckeds, 23 fuckwits, 16 fuckers and fuckses both, 13 fuckerses and motherfuckers, 8 fuckwitses, 7 clusterfucks, 6 fuckheads, 5 fuckstickses and mothefuckerses, 4 chicken-fuckings and fuckalls and fuckerys and fuckos.

Also, 3 fucked-ups, fuckoses, fucktards, motherfuckings, skullfucks and unfucks; 2 +fucks, chickenfuckings (curious hyphenation duality, sir), fishfuckers, fuckalls, fuckfaces, fuckitys, fuckins, fuckitys, fuckloads, fucknozzles, fucksakeses, fucksticks, pigfuckses, scumfuckses and whogivesafuckistans.

And each of these are stavrosian fuckish hapex legomena: a-fuckin-men, a-fucking-gain, a-fucking-men, anti-fuck, anyfuckingthing, boo-fucking-hoo, bugfuck, bumblefuckery, child-fuckers, cou-fucking-rant, dog-fucking, dogfucker, donkeyfuck, dumbfuck, dumbfucker, everysinglefuckingissue, father-fucking, fuck-band, fuck-bands, fuck-ups, fuck-wit, fuckamericametafiltercom, fuckbag, fuckers'll, fuckheads, fuckingfilter, fuckjuice-typhoon, fuckknuckles, fucknards, fucknozzles, fucknuckle, fucknugget, fucknut, fuckoff, fuckpig, fuckpiggery, fuckr, fucks-per-minute, fuckswizzle, fuckswizzles, fucktacular, fucktards, fucktastic, fuckton, fucktrolliconica, fuckufuckme, fuckyou, horsefucker, klusterfuck, mothafucka, mothefuckin', motherfucktards, murder-fuck, nicky-fucking-new-guy, nunfucker, pigfuck, shitfucks, shutthefuckup, skull-fuck, skull-fucking, somefucking, somethingorfuckingother, un-fucking-believable, wegiveafuckistan, weirdo-fucknard, what-fucking-ever, whateverthefuck, and, auspiciously, whelk-fuckers.

Also, fuclwit, which is a very entertaining typo if you ask me.

I'm thinking maybe I need to build a keyword search interface.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:24 PM on September 13, 2007 [43 favorites]

Did some say something about some ass kissing?

This thread was deleted for the following reason: Empath pr0n? Really, misha, that's what you wanted to share with everyone today?
posted by humannaire at 6:24 PM on September 13, 2007

(Also, clearly, I have one more of each of those, now.)
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:26 PM on September 13, 2007

jessamyn writes "thanks for the update Rainman!"

What? You fly Qantas, Rain Man!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:27 PM on September 13, 2007

Fuckin' hell! Thanks, cortex!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:28 PM on September 13, 2007

Butt I meant this ass.
posted by humannaire at 6:30 PM on September 13, 2007

misha posted "every little thing every one of you does is analyzed to the nth degree"

Word.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:44 PM on September 13, 2007

I cannot believe my flameout didn't even make the wiki.

I hereby protest by NOT leaving the site.

:p
posted by konolia at 6:45 PM on September 13, 2007

I'm thinking maybe I need to build a keyword search interface.

I'm thinking this is a very, very good idea.
posted by quin at 6:48 PM on September 13, 2007

I cannot believe my flameout didn't even make the wiki.

You want it there, YOU put it there. It's a wiki.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:49 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

Thanks mods, to each of you for being so responsive and accommodating to all of those piddling, petulant, and pedantic emails/IMs I pelt you with. Peace.
posted by carsonb at 7:04 PM on September 13, 2007

Oooh, ooh, Cortex, do me! (Well, find out how many times I've said fuck, at least).
posted by klangklangston at 7:04 PM on September 13, 2007

I'm so thankful for my meds.
The mods, not so much.
posted by wendell at 7:07 PM on September 13, 2007

He's also used the word "driver" 14 times, "definitely" 187, and "good" 1594.

But how many times has he used "community"?
posted by Chuckles at 7:16 PM on September 13, 2007

The mods are OK. Not so sure about cortex, but he's growing on you. You know, like a fungus.

It's all you other purposefully obtuse jackasses I could do without.

Damn me and my online addictions...
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:20 PM on September 13, 2007

I don't idolize you.

cortex is a false idol. despite the uncanny resemblance, jesus of nazareth would never build a keyword interface.

at least not in coldfusion.

apparently he's a lisp hacker
posted by spiderwire at 7:21 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]

You have great personalities.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson

Yeah? Well you have great Wessonality.
posted by sourwookie at 7:23 PM on September 13, 2007

I am Effigy2000 and I approve of this post.
posted by Effigy2000 at 7:25 PM on September 13, 2007

Oooh, ooh, Cortex, do me!

I'm more interested in instances of that than just the word "fuck." I'm knitting a list.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:30 PM on September 13, 2007

apparently he's a lisp hacker

Explains the beard.
posted by arto at 7:45 PM on September 13, 2007

Hot Lips just resigned her commission over this! Check it out -- she just walked out of Col. Henry Blake's office in tears!
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:49 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]

jesus of nazareth would never build a keyword interface.

whadaya call prayer?
posted by jonmc at 8:17 PM on September 13, 2007

at least not in coldfusion.

Actually, I've been doing my work in Perl.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:25 PM on September 13, 2007

May I be the first to suggest a barbershop quartet.

Wouldn't jessamyn be just dreamy in green?
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 9:08 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

I don't think Todd Lokken would approve of this thread.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:15 PM on September 13, 2007

If Bitter Old Punk resigns in protest, I will set up a sockpuppet in protest.
posted by The Deej at 9:28 PM on September 13, 2007

Actually, I've been doing my work in Perl.

I know, I'm just trying to help your image.
posted by spiderwire at 9:29 PM on September 13, 2007

Fucks, every one of you. Except for the moderators - you're good fucks.

So who's the pity fuck?
posted by SassHat at 9:42 PM on September 13, 2007

If I ever resign, you can be damn sure I'll set up a sock puppet to protest.
posted by sourwookie at 10:10 PM on September 13, 2007

What we need is an index of words used ABOUT other users. For instance, how many times am I referred to as an "asshole" or is mathowie referred to as a "dictator" or is stavros referred to as a "cranky old man telling kids to get off his lawn."
posted by shmegegge at 10:45 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

fuckjuice-typhoon

That nails it. I fucking love you, you fuckalicious fucktacular fuckgasmic fucktastic fucktamonious finger-lickin' fuckin' chicken, you.

Also, cortex showed me this nifty little toy tonight and apparently I've written somewhere in the neighborhood of 160k words here, which is an awful fucking lot, way fucking more than I ever fucking suspected. But like a fuckwit I didn't think to ask for my fuck ratio. Boo-fucking-hoo.
posted by melissa may at 11:06 PM on September 13, 2007

Holy shit, a real pony?

When do the rest of us get to see the toy?
posted by spiderwire at 11:12 PM on September 13, 2007

Gimme a few days to iron out the kinks. It needs to not only work (which it does now) but also have a basic interface (which it doesn't yet—think MarkovFilter) and be tuned for load (so it doesn't hurt the server if a hundred people poke it at once).
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:18 PM on September 13, 2007

>>Fun fact: mathowie has used the word "seems" exactly 701 times in comments across metafilter

>What's fun about that?

Well, 701's prime, which is nifty, but it's perhaps worth noting whilst embarking on this particular fun-hunt that 701 is the 126th prime, and 126 is a Harshad number (126/(1+2+6) = 14), a Friedman number (126 = 6 * 21), and the largest (7th) magic number in nuclear physics.

mathowie, or mathwowie??
posted by johnjoe at 11:42 PM on September 13, 2007 [8 favorites]

I fucking love you, you fuckalicious fucktacular fuckgasmic fucktastic fucktamonious finger-lickin' fuckin' chicken, you.

Why, thank you, ma'am. I think I love you too!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:18 AM on September 14, 2007

I only hate fucking eyeballkid.

Then stop doing it.
posted by Sparx at 3:31 AM on September 14, 2007 [4 favorites]

Eyeballs are usually moist, you gotta give 'em that.
posted by h00py at 4:53 AM on September 14, 2007

Thanks, Deej...I didn't know you cared.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:03 AM on September 14, 2007

">slow jerk
posted by frecklefaerie at 10:20 AM on September 14, 2007

crap, let's try again

slow jerk
posted by frecklefaerie at 10:20 AM on September 14, 2007

I too am here to unashamedly profess my admin love. Thank you, mathowie for launching the good ship Metafilter. Thanks to pb in the engine room, Jess, our ship nurse and cortex as the cruise director. (Just picture them all as Love Boat crew...)
posted by Lynsey at 11:31 AM on September 14, 2007

(pictures Matt as Gavin McLeod) NO-O-O-O-

...or the crew of the Titanic.
And we are all Leonardo DiCrapio...

(by the way, are you accepting applications to be Isaac the Bartender?)
posted by wendell at 11:45 AM on September 14, 2007

Whatever happens, I'll continue to post occasionally in threads, sometimes with well-informed content, sometimes with witty concise remarks, and sometimes with obscure movie references in threads I didn't read, but I will do so in protest.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:09 PM on September 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

m o i s t
posted by limeonaire at 6:14 PM on September 14, 2007

wtf, it deleted my extra spaces.

m
o


i
s

t
posted by limeonaire at 6:14 PM on September 14, 2007

Funny, I never see *these* threads getting closed way too quickly.

;)

Keep up the good work mods.
posted by allkindsoftime at 10:43 AM on September 15, 2007

Does this mean that misha gets a shout-out on the podcast? 'Cause misha always leaves the dishes in the sink like misha's mom is going to come in here and clean them.

Now, the Deej, he always washes up!
posted by humannaire at 2:20 PM on September 19, 2007

This is what dishwashers are for. Pffbt.
posted by misha at 2:51 PM on September 19, 2007

My mommy taught me to clean up after myself. "YOU slaughtered that cow for dinner," she would say, "YOU clean up the kill floor!"

Ahhhh memories.
posted by The Deej at 5:44 PM on September 19, 2007