OK to email a mefite?

May 29, 2008 4:57 PM

Is there a protocol regarding emailing another mefite who lives very nearby? Walking distance as per that little google map thingy on our profile page. Since she is a she and I am a he -albeit a very, very old one and happily married for fifty years, I still would not wish to intrude where I maybe should not. What say you all? Is it ok to email?
posted by notreally to etiquette/policy at 4:57 PM (55 comments total)

I don't think there's any stigma against contacting other MeFites -- in fact, it seems tacitly encouraged by the MeFi Mail feature. I say go for it.
posted by danb at 5:01 PM on May 29, 2008

You seem friendly but not pushy, just keep that tone in the email/memail and I think there is no problem. Worst she can do is not reply or ask you to leave her alone.
posted by arcticwoman at 5:02 PM on May 29, 2008

As for the protocol, depends on the intentions. Maybe schedule a MeetUp?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:07 PM on May 29, 2008

I do it all the time; if you're not proposing some sort of sketchy somethingorother it sounds totally fine.
posted by jessamyn at 5:10 PM on May 29, 2008

Happily married for fifty years? Congratulations.
posted by box at 5:17 PM on May 29, 2008 [3 favorites]

Dude, I've had lurkers email me. Go nuts.
posted by jonmc at 5:21 PM on May 29, 2008

I say iffy and awkward. Schedule meetup.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:21 PM on May 29, 2008

if you're not proposing some sort of sketchy somethingorother it sounds totally fine.

*cancels mass email about Mefi pastel figure drawing class*
posted by jonmc at 5:21 PM on May 29, 2008 [12 favorites]

Thanks box and others. I just didn't want to commit a mefi no no if one existed. Hell. I started out by posting this in the wrong place. lol.
posted by notreally at 5:23 PM on May 29, 2008

Plate of beans: overthought!
posted by Zed_Lopez at 5:25 PM on May 29, 2008

Sample emails:

"Hey there neighbor! I noticed we lived near each other and thought I'd drop you a line to say hi. My wife and I were thinking of organizing a meetup sometime soon and wonder if you might be interested." OK.

"You're on metafilter. I'm on metafilter. You have red drapes and like to undress in front of open windows. I have red drapes and like to watch people who undress in front of open windows. What say we do a micro-meetup and explore our mutual interests?" No, not really OK.
posted by googly at 5:26 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

hey, user. want to come over to my place and browse the blue? we could have a few shots of tequila and post anon to askme. Common, relax, have a little fun.
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 5:27 PM on May 29, 2008

Red drapes? Really?

[NOT DRAPIST]
posted by Sys Rq at 5:33 PM on May 29, 2008

"You're on MetaFilter. I'm on MetaFilter. I noticed we lived near each other and thought I'd drop you a line to say I like to collect ears. Do you like David Lynch?"
posted by loquacious at 5:51 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

OK all

What I did was paste my fpp into an email and sent it with a 'hi neigbor' and explain that the general consensus was to get an email off. Thanks again.

notreally
posted by notreally at 6:01 PM on May 29, 2008

You're on MetaFilter. I'm on MetaFilter. Everyone needs a hug. Me? I need to put my evil inside of you.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 6:02 PM on May 29, 2008 [5 favorites]

Notreally.
posted by WalterMitty at 6:07 PM on May 29, 2008

notsteve
posted by puke & cry at 6:13 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

I would like to propose some sort of sketchy somethingorother to any MeFites within walking distance.

You know where to find me.
posted by malocchio at 6:16 PM on May 29, 2008

Me? I need to put my evil inside of you.

Can you coat it in sugar first?
posted by jonmc at 6:31 PM on May 29, 2008

Do NOT send pictures of your weiner.

That is all.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:59 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Too late.
posted by jonmc at 7:06 PM on May 29, 2008

Can you coat it in sugar first?

That might get you a yeast infection, and at the least will be scratchy until the sugar melts. I suggest coating your evil in honey for a better textured insertion experience.
posted by Forktine at 7:08 PM on May 29, 2008

Somehow it does not surprise me that jonmc has covered his weiner in chili and cheese.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:12 PM on May 29, 2008

You live close? I say the most reasonable course of action is just stop by. If they leave their door unlocked, you should probably just walk in and make yourself at home. I mean, we're like a big family here right? If they left their computer on, wouldn't it be a cool joke to email them from their own account? I'm sure they won't mind. Doesn't everyone appreciate getting an email with pictures of strangers in their house?

What could possibly go wrong?
posted by blue_beetle at 7:20 PM on May 29, 2008

> Doesn't everyone appreciate getting an email with pictures of strangers in their house?

This has actually happened to me (except not from my own email address since they didn't know my dial-up password). It was pretty funny. I got photos of them playing my piano. Two-digit user number.
posted by jessamyn at 7:38 PM on May 29, 2008

Not just his weiner, jon even showed us his papaya. Yuk.
posted by wendell at 7:39 PM on May 29, 2008

Use binoculars.
posted by Artw at 7:45 PM on May 29, 2008

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
posted by lukemeister at 7:50 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

I got photos of them playing my piano. Two-digit user number.

Come on, I didn't have cable then.
posted by jonmc at 7:55 PM on May 29, 2008

Note to self: not only is Metafilter creepier than you imagine, it's creepier than you CAN imagine.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:37 PM on May 29, 2008

what century is this again? Are women really objects of taboo and mystery? She's a person, she's on MetaFilter so she's probably not freaked out by strangers talking to each other online, and if you have a reason to write her go ahead.
posted by Space Coyote at 8:52 PM on May 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Do NOT send pictures of your weiner.

I'm actually grateful when people email me pictures of their weiner, because I'm usually the one who got in touch with them first because I thought they were a girl. Prevents a lot of problems down the track.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:10 PM on May 29, 2008

"You're on metafilter. I'm on metafilter. You have red drapes and like to undress in front of open windows. I have red drapes and like to watch people who undress in front of open windows. What say we do a micro-meetup and explore our mutual interests?" No, not really OK.

God-damn it, how do I Unsend?
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:12 PM on May 29, 2008

she's on MetaFilter so she's probably not freaked out by strangers talking to each other online

New here, aren't you?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:40 PM on May 29, 2008

Is it because her house has a pool?
You will come back and tell us if you have a new friend, right?
posted by Cranberry at 9:54 PM on May 29, 2008

"Hi, I noticed you live nearby -- I was wondering if you know of any local gaymovers you could recommend?"
posted by loiseau at 9:55 PM on May 29, 2008

"Hey there neighbor! I noticed we lived near each other and thought I'd drop you a line to say hi."

A "success story":

That's almost exactly the wording of the email I got from pomegranate a couple of years ago; she lives two blocks away. We never met up back then, but a couple of months ago one day there was a knock on my door, I opened it to find her, her partner, and their kidlet on my doorstep. "Mister bill? Hey! it's us!" (they were going around handing out the neighborhood newsletter). Lots of "Nice to finally meet you!" and so forth. Since then, my wife and I have been in their (awesome) house and make an effort to stop and say hi every time we see each other; they're really awesome folks and it's cool to have fun, like-minded neighbors nearby.

Anyway - go for it!
posted by mrbill at 10:13 PM on May 29, 2008

For the life of me, I can not see how physical proximity has anything on earth to do with whether or not one should use email/MeMail.

I can see it possibly affecting the content of one's email, but not the actual use of email.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:18 PM on May 29, 2008

Five reasons why women really do need to get off the Internet. Only your modesty and your Delete key can keep the bad men at bay.
posted by blasdelf at 12:32 AM on May 30, 2008

If anyone - nearby or not so nearby - wants to email/MeMail me to borrow my headset press, BB tool, torque wrench or whatever, go right ahead.
posted by fixedgear at 4:58 AM on May 30, 2008

I'm actually grateful when people email me pictures of their weiner

not really. No, really. Not Really.
posted by grateful at 6:29 AM on May 30, 2008

-albeit a very, very old one and happily married for fifty years

Dude, have you never read any of those articles about people who have been married since the dawn of time, but then all of a sudden became obsessed and ended up running off with somebody they met over the internet?

Those relationships all began with an innocent exchange of email. I'd unplug the ethernet cable immediately, and then run upstairs and take a cold shower while you wait for the urge to subside.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:48 AM on May 30, 2008 [1 favorite]

What is a BB tool?
posted by odinsdream at 7:34 AM on May 30, 2008

There is something about pictures of weiners that makes me want to stroke them.
posted by quin at 8:22 AM on May 30, 2008

What is a BB tool?
It's a bike thing, you wouldn't understand.

Hey fixedgear, can your press do 1 1/8? Email it to me if so.
posted by Mister_A at 8:28 AM on May 30, 2008

...clicks button, sends large and heavy tool via MeFi mail...done!

BB = bottom bracket.
posted by fixedgear at 3:08 PM on May 30, 2008

I received an e-mail from a Mefite who lived nearby, and who I'd never met. We went out for coffee. It was enjoyable. I recommend it.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:28 PM on May 30, 2008

Corpse is not telling the truth. No one lives near corpse. I know this.
posted by The Bellman at 9:02 PM on May 30, 2008

No one lives near me, either. Snif.
posted by flabdablet at 8:17 AM on May 31, 2008

Cheer up, old bean.
posted by flabdablet's sock puppet at 8:19 AM on May 31, 2008

Those are some long, hairy wieners, quin.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:29 AM on May 31, 2008

The Bellman is not to be trusted. The Bellman is just bitter that the Corpse moved away from NYC.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:29 PM on May 31, 2008

Yeah, that's true I guess. That's why I cling to my guns. And my atheism.
posted by The Bellman at 7:31 AM on June 1, 2008

If someone sent me a msg via MeFi's private message system, or sent me an email to my yahoo address saying they're a MeFite in north Texas and howzit going, I probably wouldn't be concerned. It's happened before multiple times and that's normal online behavior.

If someone created a thread in MetaTalk first, asking other MeFites if it was okay, and then I got an email from that original poster? I probably would be concerned. In fact, I'm very creeped out right now and I'm not even a woman who lives in Florida...
posted by ZachsMind at 8:00 AM on June 1, 2008