Smells like Jessamyn Spirit

October 7, 2008 11:45 PM

Barack Obama's initials are not a smell.

The unfettered censorship in this AskMe is so obscene that I feel it warrants this MeTa.

jessamyn was first in with a non-answer that basically legitimizes what would otherwise be standard chat filter fare...

She writes, "...he smelled like nothing, nothing at all." Seriously, jessamyn? That's your answer? That's the summation of your experience?

Please. You're being a hypocrite - you want your own chatty comment to stand, because it's oh so apt with it's cute little linky lead-ins, yet you want to zap all the others. And then in mefi mail you explain that the "he smells like B.O." comment is legit because "B.O." are his initials?

For the record, I said that Obama smells like Kevlar... because you know, he's bulletproof... Oh, but that's far, far, more deletion worthy than saying, "he smelled like nothing, nothing at all," or saying he smells like "B.O."

Please.

Close the thread if it's chat-filter, or delete abusive non-answers, but don't cherry pick the comments you like while censoring those you don't.

That's bullshit.

posted by wfrgms to Etiquette/Policy at 11:45 PM (195 comments total)

She was describing her actual memory of smelling him. You were making a shitty "joke." I'd treat the answers the same way for that reason alone.
posted by piratebowling at 11:51 PM on October 7, 2008

♫Some-one smells Ang-ry♫...
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:52 PM on October 7, 2008 [35 favorites]

Well, she did pad her anecdote with a couple of jokes, but she did actually answer the question. Yours didn't really. The "B.O." one is iffy, but no reason to scream, "censorship."
posted by lekvar at 11:55 PM on October 7, 2008

I think you like her.
posted by Citizen Premier at 11:58 PM on October 7, 2008 [12 favorites]

but don't cherry pick the comments you like while censoring those you don't.

yeow, way to misinterpret things.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:59 PM on October 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

Somebody better get on top of this really important issue now before the whole fucking Internet blows up.
posted by ikkyu2 at 12:05 AM on October 8, 2008 [36 favorites]

Seriously, jessamyn? That's your answer? That's the summation of your experience?

Please don't badger jessamyn. We quite like her, mainly because she is fair, impartial, and a good sport.

You, on the other hand, are a twit.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:23 AM on October 8, 2008 [6 favorites]

Barack Obama's initials are not a smell.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 12:29 AM on October 8, 2008

Wait til the McCain campaign gets a hold of this.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 12:30 AM on October 8, 2008

Oh my god. Do you take everything in life this seriously? What happens when the tag over the butter on the shelf is ripped off, obscuring the *real* price? do you scream for the manager? I bet that parking meters really get you too...the government is blatantly STEALING my money!! And I shudder to think of the hate that must be unleashing upon me as you read this and discover TYPSO!
posted by iamkimiam at 12:31 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

I believe someone called for this?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:34 AM on October 8, 2008 [8 favorites]

The phrase "hiding to nothing" springs to mind.
posted by Abiezer at 12:59 AM on October 8, 2008

RAAAAAAAAAAAAH POST DEBATE COME DOWN ANGER RAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
posted by iamabot at 1:01 AM on October 8, 2008

This was weird, compared to most things I've seen deleted.

Why not either delete the whole question, or all the joke responses, or none of them... all of those responses would make sense.

But picking and choosing which jokey/chatty responses to leave and which to delete is arbitrary and goofy.
posted by rokusan at 1:02 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

This stinks.
posted by Elmore at 1:29 AM on October 8, 2008

I am TUH-RYING to have a HISSY FIT here. Will someone PUH-LEASE hold my coat while I stand on this STOOL and WAVE A LACE HANKY AROUND.
posted by Jofus at 1:32 AM on October 8, 2008 [21 favorites]

Actually, I thought the deletions I saw were pretty reasonable.

'He smells like nothing': not a joke. He has no noticeable/memorable smell. The lead-in: other people's anecdotes, perfectly valid answers.

'He smells like B.O': funny enough to stand, and can be justified as 'he smells like himself, just a person - no recognisable odour'

'He smells like Kevlar': bloody ridiculous. Kevlar doesn't have a smell. You are trying to make a joke about Obama being like Kevlar, not smelling like it at all.
posted by jacalata at 1:36 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

this does smell a bit fishy.

i just hope you don't put jessamyn's nose out of joint.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:23 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

But picking and choosing which jokey/chatty responses to leave and which to delete is arbitrary and goofy.

Jokey responses which fulfill the letter of the law should be allowed. "Barack Obama smells like Barack Obama" is a tautological but correct answer to the question.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 2:42 AM on October 8, 2008

HOLY FUCKING LECTURE BATMAN!
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:42 AM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

I don't see this as censorship on Jessamyn's part at all, but I do think the entire thread should have been deleted. It's a nonsense chatfilter question, IMHO.
posted by IndigoRain at 2:47 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

I don't see this as censorship on Jessamyn's part at all, but I do think the entire thread should have been deleted. It's a nonsense chatfilter question, IMHO.

It's a fine question which had potentially more "final" answers. For example Barack Obama could have tended to wear a favorite cologne.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 2:51 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Well I, for one, am livid.

Not really.
posted by Nattie at 2:57 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

That smell...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:01 AM on October 8, 2008

That word you people keep using, censorship? It doesn't mean what you think it means.
posted by dg at 3:08 AM on October 8, 2008 [10 favorites]

Step away from the computer.
posted by liquorice at 3:09 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

'He smells like Kevlar': bloody ridiculous. Kevlar doesn't have a smell.

Kevlar has a smell. It smells like Ronald Reagan. Oops. That is Teflon.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 3:22 AM on October 8, 2008

BHO, actually. Take your pick.
posted by brujita at 4:07 AM on October 8, 2008

Actually, they're all wrong. I've had the boys down in the lab working on the precise formula for the last few weeks.
posted by phunniemee at 4:22 AM on October 8, 2008

Heh - I see that Australians everywhere began logging on at 6pm, peaking just after 8pm. (Adjust for daylight savings if you live in an enLIGHTened state).
posted by jacalata at 4:40 AM on October 8, 2008

This call out smells of stale farts.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:52 AM on October 8, 2008

Should I Post to MetaTalk Checklist.
Note: You must check all in order to post.

[ ] I am not just me being peevish, I sincerely think this topic needs the attention of the whole community
[ ] This is not something that would be better suited by an email to the mods or the individual involved
[ ] I am more or less sober
[ ] I am not linking to a comment that, once it is inevitably deleted, will make this entire thread moot
[ ] I do not have a hate-on for a particular individual which I am waggling around in making this post
[ ] I do not, at this time, need a hug

written by some smart person in MetaTalk
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:53 AM on October 8, 2008 [16 favorites]

And then leaving to watch Spicks & Specks.
posted by b33j at 4:53 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

This thread is the best amusement i've seen in weeks on the grey.
posted by arimathea at 5:05 AM on October 8, 2008

Jessamyn smells like incense. You, on the other hand, smell incensed.
posted by not_on_display at 5:16 AM on October 8, 2008 [8 favorites]

I think someone has been up late drinking again.
posted by iguanapolitico at 5:19 AM on October 8, 2008

Metafilter: A little dab of patchouli'll do ya'
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:28 AM on October 8, 2008

If Barack Obama smells like a crisp fall day, I will definitely vote for him.

Actually, even if he doesn't.
posted by rtha at 5:39 AM on October 8, 2008

Smelling like nothing at all is an answer several people in the thread gave. I agree that smelling like B.O. should have gotten the axe. The question itself is chatfilter-y.

I would wave a lace hankie around, but my dog has taken it. I am such a delicate flower that even my dog likes to wave hankies in the air!
posted by winna at 5:40 AM on October 8, 2008

Oh, and I think the censorship in that thread was totally fettered, because, you know, there are still answers in it and stuff.
posted by rtha at 5:41 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

This thread is the best amusement i've seen in weeks on the grey.
posted by arimathea at 8:05 AM on October 8 [+] [!]

The Grey?? Oh crap, I always thought it was "The Brown"! I always wondered what everyone was talking about.

Time for a new monitor. YAY!!!!!
posted by matty at 5:42 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

HE SMELLS WITH HIS NOSE HA HA
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:44 AM on October 8, 2008 [29 favorites]

Smells like... victory...
posted by flashboy at 5:48 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

The unfettered censorship in this AskMe is so obscene that I feel it warrants this MeTa
The unfettered dumbassery in this MeTa is so obscene that I feel it warrants a scoffing and dismissive grunt.
posted by dirtdirt at 5:52 AM on October 8, 2008

The Grey?? Oh crap, I always thought it was "The Brown"! I always wondered what everyone was talking about.

According to Colorzilla the RGB values for MeTa are 102,102,102, which according to this would be "grey40". It always looks a little brown to me too, though.
posted by TedW at 5:56 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

I always appreciate when people are restrained in their use of scent, so I'm glad that Senator Obama doesn't smell like anything.

Americans with Severe Allergies for Obama!
posted by winna at 5:58 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

I smell like feet.
posted by bondcliff at 6:01 AM on October 8, 2008

I just read the answers in the AskMe thread; they're all on point and helpful except for the B.O. one, which is on point and funny and doubtless kept getting submitted, so why not leave it? An answer of "smells like Kevlar," on the other hand, is stupid and unhelpful and was rightly deleted. This is a bad callout and you are a bad person for making it.
posted by languagehat at 6:04 AM on October 8, 2008

The unfettered censorship in this AskMe is so obscene that I feel it warrants this MeTa.

You're just fucking with us, right? 'Cause that uncensored fettership stuff is just a little over the top.

But if I had to delete a comment or two, well... the US has just too many people who A) own guns and B) need someone else to blame and C) are prepared to read secret messages in the stains on their walls. If I saw something that I thought had the slightest chance of making some stain reader associate bullets and presidential candidates and black leaders right now, my first reaction might be to click Delete. Let's all get there together this time.
posted by pracowity at 6:15 AM on October 8, 2008

double-you-fergemms: go watch Blindness and forget this petty nonsense.
posted by cowbellemoo at 6:19 AM on October 8, 2008

What's next? "I submitted this with a better headline"?

Sorry your delicate feelings got hurt, but teh interets are serious business.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 6:20 AM on October 8, 2008

He smells like me, only better. You are welcome to attempt to smell me, but I guarantee it will not end well for you.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:24 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm still trying to figure out how Jessamyn's answer was a "non-answer" but a joke is a better answer.

Y'know, if the question is too hard for you, you can just skip it.
posted by desuetude at 6:25 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Barack Obama's feet smell and his nose runs, which seems backward to me.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:34 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

A lot of tribal groupthink going on in this thread.

The facts are these:
- (At least) two joke answers were given.
- (At least) one joke answer was deleted.

Sensical explanation of the above discrepancy has not been forthcoming.
posted by DU at 6:39 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

Is it just me or is the number of new comments for this thread either not appearing or blinking once and then disappearing, on the home page?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:47 AM on October 8, 2008

In Soviet Russia, presidents smell you!
posted by special-k at 6:51 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

DU: "The facts are these:"

It seems to me that a lot of people in this thread don't agree with your first "fact".

Brandon Blatcher: "Is it just me or is the number of new comments for this thread either not appearing or blinking once and then disappearing, on the home page?"

Are you using the Scroll Tag Greasemonkey script? Because it replaces that number with the Right one (which could very well be zero).
posted by Plutor at 6:51 AM on October 8, 2008

It seems to me that a lot of people in this thread don't agree with your first "fact".

"He smells like B.O." is not a joke answer? The questioner is clearly looking for actual smells. Even ignoring the body odor interpretation of "B.O." it's still a joke answer. Compare:

Q: What does John McCain smell like?
A: He smells like John McCain.

It's a literalist joke. (And yes, I'm aware that "What does John McCain smell like" will now be quoted and humorously answered throughout this thread. I'll get you started: Metamucil and failure.)
posted by DU at 6:55 AM on October 8, 2008

Seriously, though: Barack Obama very well might not smell. Smoking can have detrimental effects on the olfactory sensors.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:57 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

I was on the fence about the question and personally think B.O. is a silly answer; out of context I'd probably have nixed the latter, but wowie wow wow is this a weird and overt reaction to such a molehill situation. Jesus.

the RGB values for MeTa are 102,102,102

The hex is 666666. Double your Satan with new Metatalk.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:57 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

What does John McCain smell like?

"My friends,"
posted by not_on_display at 6:58 AM on October 8, 2008 [4 favorites]

He smells like Charles Bronson.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:03 AM on October 8, 2008

What does John McCain smell like?
Plutonium. It's true.
posted by Skorgu at 7:04 AM on October 8, 2008

McCain smells like adult diapers -- if you're lucky.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:05 AM on October 8, 2008 [7 favorites]

I would believe that hers was a non-answer, but then everyone stepped up to agree that the man has no scent. Holy crap, people, do we really want some strange unscented android running our country?

On the other hand, I always imagine that McCain smells like Grandpa, and Palin smells like bad potpourri.
posted by Deathalicious at 7:08 AM on October 8, 2008

McCain smells like adult diapers...

I think that should be:

What does John McCain smell like?
...Depends...

Although I hear if you stand downwind on a hot summer day you can still catch a faint aroma of burning jet fuel.
posted by TedW at 7:19 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Good morning!

Yeah I didn't like that question much and agreed with Miko that it's a bit of an asshole-magnet and we probably deleted more answers than we left. I ran it by Matt because it didn't fit any of our normal reasons for deletion and he seemed to think it was okay. So, since that was the case I tried to add a real answer in the hopes that it would set the thread somewhat straight.

I must admit I didn't even get the BO comment until I wondered why it had 20 favorites and a few other people had riffed off of it. Leaving it seemed easier than deleting it every 30 minutes and yeah I'm not thrilled with that decision. but AskMe isn't math. If I ran the site by myself, I would have deleted the question on the basis of hedache factor alone, but it didn't bother most people.

I did meet Barack Obama and it's not my fault he didn't smell like anything. I think all politicians have this creepy neutral smell that I find very off-putting.

wfrgms, I remove your fighty/jokey comments in AskMe often and I'd assumed we'd reached some sort of détente but apparently not. I note that this MeTa pretty much replicates the nasty MeMail you sent to me except for some reason it skipped the "shame on you" part. While I appreciate that you feel strongly about this at some level, I really think that's over the top.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:21 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

This thread is nosed to new comments.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 7:26 AM on October 8, 2008

The Internet has delivered many wonderful and horrific things to us, but I would never have predicted that one of them would have been a group of intelligent people speculating about the smell of a presidential candidate, and that another would have been a similar group arguing about the moderation of that discussion. I LOVE THE FUTURE
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 7:28 AM on October 8, 2008 [12 favorites]

Leaving it seemed easier than deleting it every 30 minutes...

Wha? Oh, because others will make the same joke. OK, got it. Obvious jokes are "OK" to post in the sense that mods won't want to waste time deleting and re-deleting.
posted by DU at 7:31 AM on October 8, 2008

Wait a second: metafilter is moderated?
posted by not_on_display at 7:39 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

MetaFilter: it skipped the "shame on you" part.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:41 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

The real question is what does wfrgms smell like?
posted by Sailormom at 7:43 AM on October 8, 2008

Thanks to this thread I don’t have to waste my weekly AskMe question by asking “What is the stupidest thing ever?”
posted by bondcliff at 7:46 AM on October 8, 2008 [6 favorites]

What do you expect from a user whose motto is a threat?
posted by sanko at 7:53 AM on October 8, 2008

Man, I hate it when people post a big ol' chunk of indignation to the Grey and don't follow up - are they surprised by the smartass responses? Shocked by the eyerolling? So taken aback that, rather than being hoisted upon the shoulders of their brethren and celebrated for daring to speak truth to power, they're having the piss taken out of them?

Please. Come back.

Please.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:58 AM on October 8, 2008

What do you expect from a user whose motto is a threat?

It's not a threat. It's a promise.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:07 AM on October 8, 2008

Smells like Victory
posted by nfg at 8:10 AM on October 8, 2008

agh sorry flashboy, great minds etc.
posted by nfg at 8:11 AM on October 8, 2008

I think all politicians have this creepy neutral smell that I find very off-putting.

Bill Clinton has this nice, subtle sweet smell -- not girly or cologney, but not Old Spice or barber shop smell either. Also, he has very soft hands.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:16 AM on October 8, 2008

My friends, Barack HUSSEIN Obama smells like terrorism, my friends. The stink, my friends, is ripely and frankly terroristical, my friends. I smell like antiseptic, my friends, and cabbage. My friends, I do not smell like poop most of the time, my friends, though sometimes, my friends, there may be, my friends, a subtle sour smell of urine, my friends. And so, my friends, I leave you with these thoughts, my friends:

Maverick maverick mavericks mavericiously.
Terroristic terrorists terrify.
HUSSEIN.
THAT ONE, my friends.
General Petraeus.
THAT ONE SAYS PAKISTAN THE WAY A TERRORIST DOES, my friends.
If you don't get that he doesn't get it, you just don't get it. Get it, my friends?
Gov. Palin, my friends. Rrowr! 1/2 Maverick, 1/2 Christian Rrriot grrl, and another 1/2 maverick.
Wall Street vs Main Street, my friends.
posted by Mister_A at 8:24 AM on October 8, 2008 [5 favorites]

Ronald Reagan smelled like embalming fluid and felt like a reptile. But that was a couple of weeks ago, might be different now with the rain lately.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:24 AM on October 8, 2008 [5 favorites]

You betcha, Mister_A, you betcha!
posted by TedW at 8:27 AM on October 8, 2008

Did you just wink at me TedW, you cheeky monkey?
posted by Mister_A at 8:27 AM on October 8, 2008

rtha: "If Barack Obama smells like a crisp fall day, I will definitely vote for him."

When Barack Obama is President, we will ALL smell like a crisp fall day.
posted by WCityMike at 8:31 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

Let's all talk about how a black guy smells. Real classy.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:32 AM on October 8, 2008 [5 favorites]

Obvious jokes are "OK" to post in the sense that mods won't want to waste time deleting and re-deleting.

Do you really think Jessamyn was establishing a new rule? Or are you just busting on her because that's your shtick?
posted by smackfu at 8:35 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

stupidsexyFlanders: "Ronald Reagan [...] felt like a reptile."

Especially in Captain America v. Lizard Reagan.
posted by WCityMike at 8:36 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

If wfrgms could flame out now please then I can get on with the rest of my day. But not too much of a flameout as I have no popcorn within easy reach.

Also, it was a bad question that should have been deleted. and the poster is a bad person and should feel bad for asking it, etc. But really - are you this emotionally unstable outside of the internet?
posted by GuyZero at 8:40 AM on October 8, 2008

GuyZero: "are you this emotionally unstable outside of the internet?"

No call for that.
posted by WCityMike at 8:45 AM on October 8, 2008

When Barack Obama is President, we will ALL smell like a crisp fall day.

Yay!
posted by rtha at 8:52 AM on October 8, 2008

No call for that.

All right. Sorry for that. Everyone gets worked up once in a while, but call-out/flameout posts like this don't reflect a healthy state of mind.
posted by GuyZero at 8:59 AM on October 8, 2008

smells like teen spirit
posted by the_very_hungry_caterpillar at 9:02 AM on October 8, 2008

I dreamt Meatbomb was a mod last night.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:07 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

On a totally unrelated note, am I the only one here who reads the poster's username like "wuff riggums"?
posted by katillathehun at 9:08 AM on October 8, 2008

Maverick maverick mavericks mavericiously.
Terroristic terrorists terrify.
HUSSEIN.
THAT ONE, my friends.
General Petraeus.
THAT ONE SAYS PAKISTAN THE WAY A TERRORIST DOES, my friends.
If you don't get that he doesn't get it, you just don't get it. Get it, my friends?
Gov. Palin, my friends. Rrowr! 1/2 Maverick, 1/2 Christian Rrriot grrl, and another 1/2 maverick.
Wall Street vs Main Street, my friends.

I've read Gertrude Stein. You, my friend, are no Gertrude Stein.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:14 AM on October 8, 2008

this does smell a bit fishy.

Oh man, a fish reference and an irrationally angry post? I finally get the chance to link to this:

I think you need to calm down.
posted by quin at 9:17 AM on October 8, 2008

My girlfriend was once a staff member at a camp run by the University of Michigan for kids who had been admitted but were remedial in one area or another (English, math, science, what have you). The cohort the year she worked there was predominantly black, and one of the exercises they did as a group was sitting around and discussing stereotypes of races (by admitting them in a group, they were purged, or something).

The common, and novel to my girlfriend, assertion regarding white people is that they all smelled like wet dogs, especially their hair. My girlfriend had never heard this before (and neither had I, when she told me), but some questions put to black friends confirmed it—white people smell like wet dogs.

"How come you never told me?"
"It's OK, man, all white people smell like that. You get used to it."
posted by klangklangston at 9:18 AM on October 8, 2008 [18 favorites]

"On a totally unrelated note, am I the only one here who reads the poster's username like "wuff riggums"?"

Nope.
posted by klangklangston at 9:19 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

My cat's breath smells like cat food.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:25 AM on October 8, 2008

I have a few hundred linear feet of kevlar in my closet, and it smells like…nothing.
posted by adamrice at 9:26 AM on October 8, 2008

katillathehun, me too.
posted by desuetude at 9:27 AM on October 8, 2008

Kevlar doesn't have a smell; it smells like nothing, nothing at all.

Nor does Teflon, for that matter.
posted by bonehead at 9:32 AM on October 8, 2008

Are you using the Scroll Tag Greasemonkey script?

Eureka!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:42 AM on October 8, 2008

I bet that parking meters really get you too...the government is blatantly STEALING my money!!

I do hate parking meters and resent paying them.
posted by Pax at 9:45 AM on October 8, 2008

Alvy Ampersand: Please. Come back... Please.

(Cue touching music and deep, sympathetic voice)

... because flame-outs can't happen... without you.
posted by koeselitz at 9:57 AM on October 8, 2008

Isn't it elephant day yet?
posted by Carbolic at 10:03 AM on October 8, 2008

Man, it needs to be put in the FAQ: if you're going to attempt a flameout, comment in your thread!

For fuck's sake, you get us all worked up, and then NOTHING
posted by graventy at 10:05 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

As long as he doesn't have that old-man smell, he's ok by me. You know that smell, when old guys live alone. It's second only to the smell of someones breath the morning after they spent a night drinking and smoking. Death in a box.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:05 AM on October 8, 2008

Kevlar is bullet-resistant.
posted by C17H19NO3 at 10:06 AM on October 8, 2008

The non-word fighty really sticks in my craw.

This seems like as good a place as any to say so.
posted by adamdschneider at 10:11 AM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

ffffsssgggdfffffs
posted by boo_radley at 10:23 AM on October 8, 2008

Metafilter smells like whiskey and quiet desperation.
posted by Justinian at 10:41 AM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

I note that this MeTa pretty much replicates the nasty MeMail you sent to me except for some reason it skipped the "shame on you" part. While I appreciate that you feel strongly about this at some level, I really think that's over the top.

Seriously? Shit, wfrgms, come back and flame out like a man. It's the only way to justify your existence.
posted by languagehat at 10:50 AM on October 8, 2008

"On a totally unrelated note, am I the only one here who reads the poster's username like "wuff riggums"?"

I always hear it in my mind as "whiffergrams", which is oddly appropriate for this thread.
posted by scrump at 10:53 AM on October 8, 2008

I think wfrgms is kinda bugged that someone told an AskMe patron to ignore his advice so was feeling unappreciated and then the deletion took him over the top.

Definitely needs a hug.
posted by batmonkey at 10:55 AM on October 8, 2008

I love the smell of deletion in the morning. Smells like....Victory.
posted by SaintCynr at 10:57 AM on October 8, 2008

"The non-word fighty really sticks in my craw."

SAY IT TO MY FACE
posted by klangklangston at 11:12 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

"On a totally unrelated note, am I the only one here who reads the poster's username like "wuff riggums"?"

Actually I've always read it as something like "Fuhoga Wigads." For some reason any vowel-deficient, unpronounceable-looking string sounds like that to me.
posted by contraption at 11:13 AM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

wfrgms - It's you. Seriously. All you.
posted by Ragma at 11:20 AM on October 8, 2008

I wish somebody would send me some Wafflegrams.
posted by box at 11:29 AM on October 8, 2008

am I the only one here who reads the poster's username like "wuff riggums"?"

I pronounce it in my head as "Woofer Gums," which seems more apropos.
posted by dersins at 11:35 AM on October 8, 2008

contraption makes me sad.
posted by cgc373 at 11:41 AM on October 8, 2008

The Grey?? Oh crap, I always thought it was "The Brown"! I always wondered what everyone was talking about.

According to Colorzilla the RGB values for MeTa are 102,102,102, which according to this would be "grey40". It always looks a little brown to me too, though.

I think MetaTalk looks like the color of a baby chinchilla, which makes me feel all happy and cuddly whenever I read it.
posted by amyms at 11:43 AM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

baby chinchilla

We're not having a moratorium on OMG, right? Because O-M-G C-U-T-E!!!
posted by soundofsuburbia at 11:49 AM on October 8, 2008

If kevlar smells like nothing, and Obama smells like nothing, then Obama really does smell like kevlar.
posted by SpiffyRob at 11:50 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

DevilsAdvocate: Is that the way Gertrude Stein writes? I am not familiar with her writing; I am just cutting and pasting from a transcript.
posted by Mister_A at 11:52 AM on October 8, 2008

And I thought is was "Wafer Games."
posted by Mister_A at 11:53 AM on October 8, 2008

Is that the way Gertrude Stein writes?

I thought it was at least vaguely reminiscent of it, although Stein was doing it deliberately. Check out How to Write, for example.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:04 PM on October 8, 2008

dersins: you & me both.

amyms: awww. 'tis true - it's a brownish grey that will now forever remind me of snuggly critters.
posted by batmonkey at 12:07 PM on October 8, 2008

Aww, don't be sad, ceeg! Actually I should've been more specific: it's the vowel-deficient strings of letters that have that effect on me. When numeric characters are involved it looks more like some sort of model number.
posted by contraption at 12:15 PM on October 8, 2008

How close can you really get to a candidate, though? I can occasionally smell people from a distance of a couple of feet, but often, I don't really get a sense of how they smell unless my nose is, like, right up to their neck. I think it would take a big and intimate hug to really answer this question properly. I'd like anyone who meets Obama in the future to go ahead and bury their face in the crook of his neck, then report back.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:20 PM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

Actually I've always read it as something like "Fuhoga Wigads." For some reason any vowel-deficient, unpronounceable-looking string sounds like that to me.

contraption makes me sad.
posted by cgc373 at 2:41 PM on October 8 [+] [!] No other comments.

It always makes me happy.
posted by Tehanu at 12:29 PM on October 8, 2008

Greg, recent advances in semiconductor technology have made it possible for even a casual hobbyist to construct, from materials available at any Radio Shack, an inexpensive and surprisingly effective remote candidate sniffer.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:30 PM on October 8, 2008

Thanks, DevilsAdvocate, I'll check it out. Incidentally, the transcript I was cutting and pasting from is really just my mean-spirited brain. So I'll take your comment as a compliment, seeing as I'm vain.
posted by Mister_A at 12:31 PM on October 8, 2008

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

This one's a keeper.
posted by jason's_planet at 12:37 PM on October 8, 2008

I used my smell-o-scope on Sarah Palin. She smells like gunpowder, dogs, and bibles.
posted by Mister_A at 12:37 PM on October 8, 2008

Greg, recent advances in semiconductor technology have made it possible for even a casual hobbyist to construct, from materials available at any Radio Shack, an inexpensive and surprisingly effective remote candidate sniffer.

All your modern technology is lost on me. I may just be a simple man, but I think I'm gonna stick with the ol' tried-and-true "long rubber hose duct-taped to a heavy dart" method of remote-olfactory exploration.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:41 PM on October 8, 2008

Gentlemen, this problem has already been solved multiple times, both in FACT and FICTION.
posted by blue_beetle at 1:12 PM on October 8, 2008

While I think that your response was rightly deleted (and the "smells like BO" one should have been deleted as well), it is kind of a relief to see a thread in which the moderators, particularly Jessamyn, are not worshiped.

I actually think Jessamyn, Cortex, and Mathowie do a reasonable job and are good people, but man, it totally gives me the jibblies to see otherwise independent-seeming people brown-nosing them left and right. Every time I scroll through a MetaTalk thread, there's some out-of-the-blue suck-uppage, especially for Jessamyn, probably because she's a lady. Get off her proverbial nuts, people!
posted by ignignokt at 1:14 PM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

Hey jessamyn, ignore that lout there. You go to 11 on the scale of awesome.
posted by Mister_A at 1:17 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

This is one of my favorite stereotypes. I have been known to loudly announce that it "smells like white people in here" after my dogs come in from a walk in the rain.
posted by Mister_A at 1:24 PM on October 8, 2008 [5 favorites]

Mister_A : She smells like gunpowder, dogs, and bibles.

I probably share two out of these three scents, but I maintain my personal awesomeness by not smelling like bibles, but godless Kentucky bourbon instead.
posted by quin at 1:27 PM on October 8, 2008

I think Metafilter deserves better than this, my friends.
posted by ob at 1:29 PM on October 8, 2008

Senator ob doesn't seem to understand the difference between a flag and a favorite.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:38 PM on October 8, 2008

Wet dog? You can't be serious. Why didn't anyone tell me?

Also, I pronounce it wiffergrams, and then I sneeze.
posted by mitzyjalapeno at 1:40 PM on October 8, 2008

jessamyn smells like rainbows. Rainbows filled with restrained but righteous indignation.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:02 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Metafilter is clearly in the tank for Jessamyn.
posted by lore at 2:03 PM on October 8, 2008

senator ob: Who said that?
(Stage Whisper, creepy half smile) That one!

*points at cortex*
posted by ob at 2:05 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

*mutters, approaches cortex while waving thunderstick threateningly*
posted by languagehat at 2:11 PM on October 8, 2008

I would totally drink a Kentucky bourbon called Godless.

Godless: Bourbon for Bastards

Godless: Not Communist, Just Uncommon

Godless: Separation of Church and Shakes
posted by adamdschneider at 2:30 PM on October 8, 2008

I am not a lady.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:33 PM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

That makes two of us. [click]
posted by Mister_A at 2:36 PM on October 8, 2008

Harmful if inhaled.
posted by StickyCarpet at 2:47 PM on October 8, 2008

jessamynAdmin: "I am not a lady."

No, she's one a the wimmen folk.
posted by dg at 2:55 PM on October 8, 2008

Aww, what happened in here? Somebody have a meltdown during Australian waking hours, please!
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:01 PM on October 8, 2008

I am not a lady.

But I'm a pretty, pretty princess.
posted by middleclasstool at 3:28 PM on October 8, 2008

jessamyn smells like rainbows

wet rainbows.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:36 PM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

Just check the meltdown countdown next time!
posted by baphomet at 3:37 PM on October 8, 2008

I feel restrained righteous indignation all the time and am also not a lady. I think i'mma cut on my self and see if any rainbows come out.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:43 PM on October 8, 2008

I see wfrgms as "Wuh-friggums"

And then I start thinking about Fhqwhgads.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:14 PM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

I read "wfrgms" like a radio station ID sequence, being sung in three-part harmony by women. Like at the end of the WKRP theme.
posted by GuyZero at 4:19 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

You know, I'm something of an expert on BO, since so many of our store's used books are sold to us by homeless people. But our smelliest customer was not homeless or at least he didn't seem to be. It wasn't even ordinary manfunk either. Dude smelled like bathed in expired sauerkraut.
posted by jonmc at 4:39 PM on October 8, 2008

Now in my head it's "Ralph Wiggum."
posted by liketitanic at 4:44 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

wfrgms, I remove your fighty/jokey comments in AskMe often

And he still has an account? Yeesh, you mods are too nice sometimes.
posted by mediareport at 5:04 PM on October 8, 2008

wet rainbows.

aren't all rainbows wet? I mean they're rainbows after all..

well, this one's probably fairly dry, but I don't think Jessamyn smells like Ritchie Blackmore.
posted by jonmc at 5:07 PM on October 8, 2008

Wet rainbows in the dark, maybe?
posted by not_on_display at 6:06 PM on October 8, 2008

Double you eff are gee.... em ess.
posted by smackfu at 6:30 PM on October 8, 2008

Well maybe Obama is odor free, but according to this article Obama's campaign plane "is cramped, uncomfortable and smells terrible most of the time."

But wait... it's full of reporters, too.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 7:30 PM on October 8, 2008

I met him in 2004 and he smelled like nothing, nothing at all.


You know what they say. Smelling is believing.
posted by Rafaelloello at 8:14 PM on October 8, 2008

he smelled like nothing, nothing at all.

I'm hearing that in the voice of Air Supply. Is that wrong?
posted by jonmc at 8:27 PM on October 8, 2008

Woof-roog-ums
posted by The Eponymous Pseudonymous Rex at 8:45 PM on October 8, 2008

Oh, but his profile says it's pronounced "fuck Texas"... odd spelling.
posted by The Eponymous Pseudonymous Rex at 8:46 PM on October 8, 2008

Here is a unicode snowman for you. ☃
posted by finite at 9:34 PM on October 8, 2008

Awwww shit, people, you knaw what time it is? It's time for a mutha-fucking election year smell-off..... featuring BARACK "BO" OBAMA and JOHN "STANKY" MCCAIN. Yeah, yeah, US Americans 2008: who has the olfactory perspicacity to lead this bitch? Let the Google adjudications begin:


Obama Smells Like Oprah
McCain smells like old
Advantage: Obama

Obama smells like old time Chicago politics
McCain smells like grandpa's slippers
Advantage: McCain

Obama smells like victory
McCain smells like napalm in the morning
Advantage: Tie


Obama smells like an ash tray
McCain smells like mothballs
Advantage: McCain


Obama smells like cabbage and islam
McCain smells like old potatoes
Advantage: Obama


Obama smells like KFC
MCCAIN SMELLS LIKE GOOD CHICKEN
Advantage: McCain


Obama smells like the camels A** he's been riding
McCain smells like sour, old butt cheese
Advantage: Tie


Obama smells like teen spirit
McCain smells like old man farts
Advantage: Obama


Obama smells like phony far left fringe teen spirit
McCain smells like Werther's Originals
Advantage: McCain


Obama smells like fish
McCain smells like a stinky fish
Advantage: Obama


Obama smells like roses and angel food cake
McCain smells like butterscotch and peppermints
Advantage: McCain



Obama smells like Monarch butterflies on a warm, spring day
McCain smells like a blooming rose
Advantage: Obama



Obama smells like new carpet
McCain smells like corpses
Advantage: Obama


Obama smells like a refigerator after a hurricane
McCain smells like burnt turtle juice
Advantage: Tie


Obama smells like incense and stale bong water
McCain smells like cum
Advantage: McCain


Obama smells like peaches
McCain smells like pizza
Advantage: Tie


Obama smells like cologne and soap
McCain smells like Vicks Vapor Rub, Ben-Gay, and Dr. Scholls Foot Powder
Advantage: Obama


Obama smells like Fascism
McCain smells like Bush
Advantage: Tie

Tally:
Obama +7
McCain +6

WINNER: OBAMA!!!

Why don't you just try and censor this shit, Jessamyn?? You walking Diebold machine. The fact of the matter is, you can delete this post all you want, but you can not silence the amazing nasal phenomena which is Obama!
posted by dgaicun at 10:00 PM on October 8, 2008 [9 favorites]

He smells like nothing, you say?
posted by ghost of a past number at 11:20 PM on October 8, 2008

Have any of these callout type threads ever worked? I mean, even if it "worked" it would get resolved quickly and the thread would be closed, and if it backfires then the moderators leave it open for it to, like, blossom.
posted by hellojed at 11:51 PM on October 8, 2008

....HAY WHO U CALLIN BLOSSOM?!!?!1
posted by not_on_display at 5:56 AM on October 9, 2008

The majority of the nerds on Metafilter are in love with Jessamyn. She can do no wrong.
posted by Termite at 6:47 AM on October 9, 2008

Obama smells like Fascism
McCain smells like Bush
Advantage: Tie

I like that
posted by Rafaelloello at 7:28 AM on October 9, 2008

You know what I like about MeFi Navigator? When people forget to delete the "admin" label when quoting a mod.

You know what I REALLY like about this? When it's for jessamyn, her name shows up as jessamynAdmin, and that just dances off the tongue.
posted by SpiffyRob at 7:37 AM on October 9, 2008

I'm hearing that in the voice of Air Supply. Is that wrong? –jonmc

If that's wrong, I don't wanna be white.

/wet dog
posted by Mister_A at 7:55 AM on October 9, 2008 [2 favorites]

I don't think Jessamyn smells like Ritchie Blackmore.

I don't even want to imagine what Ritchie Blackmore smells like or how you know.
posted by adamdschneider at 8:32 AM on October 9, 2008

Actually, I heard that Obama was born with no nose.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:26 AM on October 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

Meaning that the "how does he smell?" question is just a lulzy opportunity for seven year old jokesters?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:30 AM on October 9, 2008

SpiffyRob: "You know what I like about MeFi Navigator? When people forget to delete the "admin" label when quoting a mod.

You know what I REALLY like about this? When it's for jessamyn, her name shows up as jessamynAdmin, and that just dances off the tongue."

Yeah and I get caught with it almost every time I do it. Some people just never learn, do they?
posted by dg at 1:15 PM on October 9, 2008

Man 1: I just voted for a guy who was born without a nose!

Man 2: Really?! How does he smell?

Man 1: He can't. He doesn't have a nose!

Man 2: No, I mean what does he smell like?

Man 1: I don't know. I don't have a nose, either. That's why I voted for him.

Man 2: Man, you no-noses really stick together, huh?

Man 1: Sure do! As the saying goes: "If we don't hang together, surely we will all hang apart."

Man 2: [nods]

Man 1: Hey, wait a minute! How come you didn't know that I don't have a nose? After all, you're standing right in front of me!

Man 2: Oh, didn't I mention? I'm blind.

Man 1: Oh. Sorry.

Man 2: No problem.

Man 1: So... who did you vote for today?

Man 2: McCain.

Man 1: Oh, I get it. Because he's old, and might go blind soon?

Man 2: No. Because I'm a douche bag.
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:59 PM on October 9, 2008 [5 favorites]

Metafilter is clearly in the tank for Jessamyn.

User self-preservation gene.
posted by rokusan at 2:06 PM on October 9, 2008

On a totally unrelated note, am I the only one here who reads the poster's username like "wuff riggums"?

Actually until this thread I thought it was some sort of contraction of Chief Wiggums.

Really.
posted by rokusan at 2:07 PM on October 9, 2008

I am quite sure I've had some of my own AskMe answers deleted, though I have no idea which or how many or how often, since I almost never go back and see. But I doubt that I'd care because they were probably jokey top-of-head responses and should have been deleted, anyway.

You see, I often, often, often forget that I'm supposed to be answering in green-mode instead of blue-mode. My brain is old and it's hard to shift gears sometimes. (Is there a gray-mode? It's sort of ultra-blue, right?)

When I see other jokey answers staying... it confuses my old brain, my friends.
posted by rokusan at 2:10 PM on October 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

Metafilter is clearly in the tank for Jessamyn.

We're all in the tank with Jess and guys.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:57 PM on October 9, 2008

Well, to be fair to the original comment. You would think parents would be cognizant of what they are naming their children and even what their initials may mean. But in this case there was great consideration given.

Well, in this case they did.

In Africa "BO" (or more accurately "beor") means "exalted one who conquer a foreign nation and become its leader."

So I say the comment should be reinstated!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:05 PM on October 9, 2008

[ ] I do not, at this time, need a hug

We always need a hug.

I really can't stand to have a poor word said against jessamyn; in all my dealings with her (I can, it must be admitted, be trying to one's patience!) she has been remarkably fair, honest, and kind. I can honestly say if it were not for her I might have ripped up my club jacket sometime ago and called it quit. I can't praise her enough.

This thread is petty, and besmirches a wonderful lady, and rather makes you seem like a frightful bore. An apology is in order, and a plea to solve these things via metafilter mail in the future.

Because such displays of earnest emotion make me feel somewhat embarrassed I am going to have a lie down now.
posted by oxford blue at 5:51 AM on October 10, 2008 [3 favorites]

[enters holding cup of crushed-ice-and-Coca-Cola in hand]

Oh. Hey. [looking around] What a great party!
posted by humannaire at 1:31 AM on October 12, 2008