Service: Love
March 10, 2009 1:00 AM Subscribe

Yay! A server vs served thread! Wheeee!! (via) - Sounds like it happens all the time, but I must be missing it. Any notable mefi threads out there with these entertaining exchanges?
posted by Christ, what an asshole to MetaFilter-related at 1:00 AM (72 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

Advertise here: Contact FM.

I don't know that it happens all the time, it's just that whenever it does, it degrades into an awful debate between self-righteous waiters and self-righteous customers. There was a bartending one a while back that got especially ugly.
posted by !Jim at 1:16 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

There was a bartending one a while back that got especially ugly.

This one?
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:42 AM on March 10

Some recent service threads:

posted by Rhomboid at 1:42 AM on March 10 [5 favorites]

Get back to GBS!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:54 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

That bartending thread is a classic. Not only does it launch into a flamewar about service industry workers almost immediately, but it also includes a completely unnecessary derail about vegans ordering off-menu. Plus thanks to that thread I now know how to make a Great Horned Owl.
posted by burnmp3s at 5:17 AM on March 10

I just got some extracrappy service at lunch (what's the longest you've ever waited for a burger?) and was seriously considering making ice cream just out of spite. I resisted because I'd have to eat that gross shit.
posted by krautland at 5:32 AM on March 10

I was thrown out of Steak n' Shake because of the ice cream trick. It didn't help that I had thirty Malaysian children, dressed in rags and spread across three tables, shaking their little ice/salt concoctions. That's the down-side of going for volume.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:41 AM on March 10 [6 favorites]

I've worked in food service for most of the last 13 years, and I could give a shit less about this stuff. I work at a pizza place that gives out dough to children to keep them occupied. You would not believe all the nasty places that dough ends up. Whatever.

If something as innocuous as this gets your hackles up, you need a new job.
posted by schyler523 at 6:02 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

When I read the title of this post, I seriously thought it was going to be a wonky debate about computer servers-- all the excitement of comparing MeFi's old server vs. MeFi's new server.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:20 AM on March 10 [3 favorites]

That post was entirely about a cheap gimmick to make a goopy approximation of ice cream. There was no reason for people to pull their chains about all that server versus served nonsense.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:24 AM on March 10

Is there a greasemonkey script to erase the comments of anyone who has admitted in any of these threads to being a server? Cause I kind of make it a policy not to socialize with the help.
posted by ND¢ at 6:31 AM on March 10 [26 favorites]

If I was linking to a comment in there, it would've been this one.
posted by inigo2 at 6:41 AM on March 10

Aw man, I was hoping for server vs. served in the form of a danceoff.
posted by electroboy at 7:02 AM on March 10

I'm with The Secret Life Of Gravy, I totally though this would be about actual hot running servers. You know, computers on computer action, or some sort of throw down. Could start with this great history of the intertubes, which is totally accurate and well documented.
posted by zenon at 7:11 AM on March 10

Let's see. People who have to deal with shit from their income providers from time to time use the safety of an internet forum to vent their frustrations rather than the more income restricting method of directly confronting the problem people? Sounds like a decent idea to me.

See also: I hate my boss / my co-worker(s) / crappy web design / annoying clients / crappy code / my neighbour(s) / crappy print design / annoying things about my professional field / blah, blah, blah threads. They're all over this place so I don't see why servers get picked on for it.
posted by i_cola at 7:22 AM on March 10 [3 favorites]

TAKE IT BACK! IF I WANTED SOMETHING YOUR THUMB TOUCHED I'D EAT THE INSIDE OF YOUR EAR!
posted by SpiffyRob at 7:23 AM on March 10 [4 favorites]

Aw man, I was hoping for server vs. served in the form of a danceoff.

You mean, you wanted somebody to get served?
posted by P.o.B. at 7:32 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Wait, wait, let me try that again.

I want to see servers vs. served on a server getting served!
posted by P.o.B. at 7:46 AM on March 10

Regret is like an egret. It seems harmless enough, until it swoops down and eats you like a fish.
posted by Afroblanco at 7:48 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

Heh. It's funny, I didn't really realize I was imitating contraption's Great Horned Owl comment from that bartender thread with my own Choco Taco one in this current server thread, even though I asked for his help composing it. (Because he is my boyfriend, I know, I'm so lucky. Good bartenders are such a rarity.)

The point of these nasty bitter wars is: tipped serving makes too many people nasty and bitter. GTFO of the industry before that happens to you; its a gambler's trade. Wouldn't you rather have a little certainty, and nobody to hate?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:12 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

You lost me at "entertaining exchanges", but I (a) tip well, (b) avoid places with surly waitstaff, and (c) have to babysit those goddam threads.
posted by cortex at 8:13 AM on March 10 [5 favorites]

GTFO of the industry before that happens to you; its a gambler's trade.

Truer words have rarely been spoken. I say this as a (soon to be ex) server and a gambler.

To me, the service industry is largely about selling your goodwill. If you don't have enough to sell, there are plenty of jobs that don't require you to.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 8:19 AM on March 10

Seems like it actually turned into a Server Vs. Server thread though, really.
posted by kingbenny at 8:20 AM on March 10

Hello, kind sir. Rumor has it that you're fond of service, so I've taken the liberty of placing a server within your server such that you can now serve whilst you serve.
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:43 AM on March 10 [10 favorites]

I think we can all agree that, while the warring factions were close to the epiphany of resolution, they remained just shy of it. Namely, that if the customers so laboriously creating ice cream at the table then left that ice cream as a tip for their put-upon servers, peace would result. Because hey, who wouldn't be touched by the gift of free, unexpected, surprise ice cream?

And iconomy was totally right. I screwed up. My bad.
posted by mudpuppie at 9:17 AM on March 10 [2 favorites]

Linux won.
posted by devnull at 9:19 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Serves them right.
posted by Elmore at 10:03 AM on March 10 [1 favorite]

For the life of me, I got to this comment:

Is there a greasemonkey script to erase the comments of anyone who has admitted in any of these threads to being a server? Cause I kind of make it a policy not to socialize with the help.
posted by ND¢

Before I realized this thread wasn't about computer servers.
posted by mrmojoflying at 10:23 AM on March 10

I hadn't thought about (or even seen) Choco Tacos in about 15 years, but they used to be my favorite "food". I'm sort of scared to have one now since it might ruin the nostalgia.
posted by 0xFCAF at 10:51 AM on March 10

I was wondering why my complaint about incompetent bartenders from six months ago was getting new favorites.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:33 AM on March 10

As for the librarians:
1. "Use us!" As long as I don't piss you off?
2. If you really supported Intellectual Freedom, you wouldn't have a stack of book-banning forms. Either grow some balls or stop kidding yourself.
3. The library does have to be a quiet place. It's a fucking library, for fuck's sake. Put up a sign. Also? Shut the fuck up.
4. Want me to pay my fines? Don't let me borrow until they're paid. That's how that works.
5. Want it back on time? Raise the late fees to the point that I might give a shit.
6. It's none of your goddamned business what I like, and if I tell you I don't like something, what'll you do? Throw it out? Don't.
7. Checking items out wastes the circulation clerk's time? What does a circulation clerk really do?
8. "Listen" and "obey" are two different words with two different meanings. That goes for "say" and "bark" too.
9. I am sneezing because I am allergic to dust. Your library is dusty.
10. What do I want on the shelf? The books that are supposedly already there. Work on that.
11. No you don't have as many videos as Blockbuster. No. You don't. Really. Also, you only have one copy of each video. That is stupid. Also, this is a library. Where are all the books?
12. You know who likes cell phones in the library less than librarians? Patrons. Put up a sign already.
13. Try spending less time with each person. This is what we mean by "hurry up."
14. Consider the tax dollars that pay your salary "thank you" enough.
15. How about explaining what you're doing with that computer so I don't ever have to interact with you ever again?
16. More "programs" means less books, which means shittier libraries. Stop it.
17. Lots of places have signs that read, "Do not leave children unattended." You should probably get one.
18. No one cares what you read. Get over yourself.
19. Answer the question I asked. Don't answer questions with questions, and don't get nosy about the books I want to read.
20. Those jokes are ironic.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:45 AM on March 10

At last someone takes it to the librarians! They have had it too easy for too long!

Next, let's give the firemen a piece of our minds. What the fuck is up with those scary masks! If you're going to carry me out, and you wear a freaky face mask, OF COURSE I AM GOING TO RESIST, asshole.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:52 AM on March 10 [8 favorites]

The word "custody" always makes me think of custard. But not the good kind you eat for desert, but the gross kind that only British people eat.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:54 AM on March 10

Like spotted dick?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:56 AM on March 10

AZ, that was a response to those specific points from that specific librarian.

Still, gah.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:59 AM on March 10

I know. I'm just happy to launch attacks at unexpected people. Next, I go after squirrels.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:00 PM on March 10 [2 favorites]

Next, I go after squirrels.

They're responsible for over half of all deaths, you know.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:11 PM on March 10

Wow...the librarians that I'm surrounded by and who assist me are so unlike that list it's not even funny. Well, say maybe 85% of them are totally normal, interesting, rational, and easy to connect with on an every day level. This is a research library, but I don't know if that makes much of a difference. I like librarians, and the ones that act in an unlikeable manner are easily dismissible.
posted by mrmojoflying at 12:19 PM on March 10

(For the record, I've never met a librarian I didn't like.)
posted by Sys Rq at 12:24 PM on March 10

Some of my best friends are librarians!

_{(color-blind librarianist)}
posted by burnmp3s at 12:30 PM on March 10

Intergalactic Undead Assaults Local Rodent with Pornographic British Dessert. Film at 11.
posted by SpiffyRob at 12:39 PM on March 10 [2 favorites]

I kind of enjoy the server/served sniping. I just wanted to share that.
posted by everichon at 1:03 PM on March 10

(For the record, I've never met a librarian I didn't like.)

A challenge! At last, a chance to use my kitten head business cards!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:03 PM on March 10 [1 favorite]

Immortalized in a MeTa subject link! Fuck yeah! Next, I'm going to moonwalk while dressed in a period costume.

What tickles me is I could have SWORN I've been in too many recent service industry threads, but those linked above didn't have me in them. I agree, the original post really had nothing to do with service, but then axe grinding came in and made a hella racket.

Service is paramount to me, to both give and recieve good service is one of my highest goals. So usually I'm in there gun blazing with the servers when it's all like "GOSH! Why can't those asshats bring my food faster!" "Lazy ass fuckers taking their sweet time with my table.." and I'm there like "You know their manager gave them 8 4 tops to cover today, right, and they only have two feet" etc etc.

But anyhoo. It does usually end up with the hard liners versus the hard liners egging each other on. I Nth what Ambrosia said, if you've become so embittered by the vocation that you perform -- so embittered you perform it with active loathing -- maybe the job is not the problem and you instead need to find other work? Seeing Mary as the originator of the "Your bartender hates you..." thread seems rather fitting on reflection. It's sort of a bizarre paradox -- "I hate customers! They suck soo bad!!" "Why, then, do you put up with it?" "I make money!!"

Mean people suck. Everywhere. Moving on... !
posted by cavalier at 1:56 PM on March 10

True story: as a teenage waiter, I once spit-shined the silverware. Here's one. Motherfucker, 2005!?
posted by cavalier at 2:01 PM on March 10

Is "choco taco" the new "tater"?
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 2:19 PM on March 10

Yeah, this job would be pretty great, if it weren't for the customers.
posted by box at 2:23 PM on March 10

I want to see servers vs. served on a server getting served!

Yo dawg, etc.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:29 PM on March 10

Metafilter: Like spotted dick?
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 2:39 PM on March 10

I like it when you guys fight.
posted by mckenney at 3:18 PM on March 10

The bitter anger, ire and cursing was all worth it for IRFH's amazing story.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:57 PM on March 10

The bitter anger, ire...

Maybe some of you bitter waitpersons should consider this little trick: a good friend of mine, when she was waiting, would pick out one table per shift, write off any tip in advance, and give that table the most outrageously bad service they had ever had. She said it helped her be nicer to the other tables.
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:50 PM on March 10 [3 favorites]

I think I ate at that place once.
posted by box at 6:56 PM on March 10

MaryDellamorte, I actually do wish I was a little robot girl. Or at least a cyborg, which will hopefully be possible in the future thanks to nanotechnology. But I was an exceptionally shitty waitress and now tip with the awe and respect I usually reserve for nurses drawing my blood, even when the service is just ok. For me not to tip, I'd have to find a human finger or a roach in my food; even then I'd just shudder and never go back, probably.

The service industry is hard; freaky stories from either perspective and/or physics-based tricks are just icing on the meta-cake.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:19 PM on March 10

I guess most of the people in this thread never complain or have had complaints about their job. And if they do, then why don't they find a new one since they're obviously not suited for it. I guess to sum things up, we should all strive to be robots, right?

My job basically involves sitting in an office, in an ergonomically criminal chair, staring at and doing things to a computer for 8 hours every day. By your logic, this entitles me to inject my numerous complaints, whines, observations, lamentations, regrets, and heartbreaks into any and every thread that mentions Microsoft, Apple, Windows, Macintosh, desks, chairs, paper clips, the letter K, things on wheels, flat surfaces, clocks, time, carpet, lunch, breakfast, dinner, snacks, and, oh yeah, people.

Entitled though I may be, I have some sense. And my sense tells me to tell YOU that sometimes, a thread that involves something that you personally feel very strongly about, is not necessarily your suggestion box to the world.

I say this as one of thousands of people who use this site and who have no opinion about you personally (so don't take it that way), and also as the author of the thread that you (amusingly) turned into something unexpected and, sadly, contentious.
posted by mudpuppie at 9:52 PM on March 10

I say this as one of thousands of people who use this site and who have no opinion about you personally (so don't take it that way), and also as the author of the thread that you (amusingly) turned into something unexpected and, sadly, contentious.

Last time I checked, I wasn't the first or the only one to say something negative about the creamer to ice cream trick. So placing the blame completely on me is unfair.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 9:56 PM on March 10

You weren't the first dog to the bone, no. But you held on to it the longest and snarled the loudest when anyone tried to take it away. And now you're defensive about it. That's why it comes off more like a Sore Subject for Mary Dellamorte thing than some sort of legitimate separate issue.
posted by mudpuppie at 10:07 PM on March 10

Wrong, I left the thread early on because I didn't feel like going back and forth after getting attacked. Yes, I did go back and forth a little, but I dipped out.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:10 PM on March 10

This is the last comment I'm going to post in this thread and into future server/bartender threads. It's too touchy of a subject and too many people like to jump too many conclusions over a few lines someone has written over the internets.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:17 PM on March 10

mudpuppie just gave you leave not not take it personally, but you elected to anyway why?

placing the blame completely on me is unfair.

You're only to blame for this pile of rhetorically strangled whining. A defense of OTHER whining. Oh I gueeessss sooo. We are the borg, and all that. I guess it's only you feels things passionately anymore on this cold planet you call Earth. I. Am. A Stepford worker. Meep beep boop.

(I do sorta wish I were a Stepford worker because then the students I'm responsible for in Sci Fi Horror class might get a little extra understanding out of my operation.)
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:20 PM on March 10

So, did anyone make any of that coffee creamer ice cream yet?
posted by Burhanistan at 10:23 PM on March 10

As for the librarians

I'm gonna start tipping librarians and stiffing waiters in future. I definitely get better service from librarians.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:07 AM on March 11

I thought this was a Apple OS X server versus Microsoft Server 200x versus LAMP servers versus Unix servers issue. It isn't.
posted by juiceCake at 9:37 AM on March 11

At restaurants I just dispatch my order into the cloud and expect to pay for a food dialtone.
posted by GuyZero at 9:49 AM on March 11

I went into that thread expecting Mr. Wizard's World; instead I got Flo's Yellow Rose.

Kiss mah grits.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:00 AM on March 11

Mary: Metafilter's answer to Basil Fawlty.
posted by rodgerd at 11:07 AM on March 11

Many people like to jump too many conclusions over a few lines someone has written over the internets.

Respectfully, Mary, I think that you might be one of these people.

There are some subjects about which I feel pretty strongly. I always read the threads on these topics, but I don't usually say much. I think I'm happier that way, because it keeps me from taking things personally when people probably didn't mean them that way.
posted by box at 12:56 PM on March 11

This is the last comment I'm going to post in this thread and into future server/bartender threads.

I'll believe it when I don't see it.
posted by nomisxid at 2:17 PM on March 11

Okay, so who wants to hear my complaints about tax season? Anyone?
posted by small_ruminant at 11:14 AM on March 12

I would like to hear your complaints about tax season, small_ruminant.
posted by cgc373 at 7:48 PM on March 25

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Service: Love March 10, 2009 1:00 AM Subscribe

Service: Love
March 10, 2009 1:00 AM Subscribe