April Fool's Day Moratorium April 1, 2009 7:12 AM   Subscribe

Important site announcement re: April Fool's Day.

We are all pretty much sick of it here, and we are now completely banning April Fool's Day stuff from MetaFilter.

All posts that are dumb obvious jokes will be deleted. Timeouts will be distributed liberally to repeat offenders.
posted by Meatbomb to Etiquette/Policy at 7:12 AM (64 comments total)

APRIL FOOLS!
posted by grouse at 7:15 AM on April 1, 2009


You ain't the boss of me(fi), daddy-o.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 7:16 AM on April 1, 2009


hey, there's a spider on your head!
posted by yeoz at 7:16 AM on April 1, 2009


Meatbomb: Could you call everyone "brother" again? That was cool!
posted by mlis at 7:17 AM on April 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Here, open this can of delicious mixed nuts.
posted by Evangeline at 7:17 AM on April 1, 2009 [11 favorites]


dam, there goes my parachuting metorite of gold story....
posted by clavdivs at 7:19 AM on April 1, 2009


So, um, where's the Mefi prank? I've been on the edge of my seat all morning and nothing's happened yet. No joke this year?
posted by backseatpilot at 7:19 AM on April 1, 2009


You might be looking at it, bsp.
posted by baphomet at 7:21 AM on April 1, 2009


I hope there's something, I've been all looking forward to it. Also: I wonder what the Venn Diagram would look like of users who don't realize that joke posts will be treated harshly but would also check MeTa first to make sure?
posted by Navelgazer at 7:21 AM on April 1, 2009


This is the joke.


No wait this is.


Wait.
posted by The Whelk at 7:21 AM on April 1, 2009


No joke, apparently, according to mathowie.

Sadness.
posted by flatluigi at 7:21 AM on April 1, 2009


GLOBAL RECESSION HITS APRIL FOOLS DAY
posted by yhbc at 7:23 AM on April 1, 2009 [5 favorites]


No joke, apparently, according to mathowie.

You can always hit the "Make it Start" link in the footer... for old times' sake.
posted by clearly at 7:25 AM on April 1, 2009


commish

we could have my halloween thread started here, have some fun?

what robber baron would you be
posted by clavdivs at 7:27 AM on April 1, 2009

Here, open this can of delicious mixed nuts.
posted by Evangeline at 10:17 AM on April 1 [+] [!]
Hey! There are only peanuts in here! :'(
posted by yeoz at 7:28 AM on April 1, 2009


There is no prank, bsp. If you would read the post in which you have just commented in it might be more clear as to why that is.

At the moment I am having slight troubles with my mod interface, so I would ask the community of users to help me out:

1) Pretend that this and this are not on the front page - you could maybe attach some paper to your screen to block them from view.

2) Do not read any comments form Joe Beese or djgh for the next 24 hours, to simulate a one day time out.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:28 AM on April 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


So you don't like April Fool's day?
posted by nola at 7:35 AM on April 1, 2009


No joke, apparently, according to mathowie.

That's exactly what he wants us to think.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:36 AM on April 1, 2009


Meatbomb: "Do not read any comments form Joe Beese.. to simulate a one day time out."

I thought people were already doing that.

Except for mediareport, of course.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:38 AM on April 1, 2009


you could maybe attach some paper to your screen to block them from view.

Or just cut out the middle man and attach paper directly to eyeballs.

Please stay tuned for my "I have papercuts on my eyeballs. Now what?" AskMe.
posted by jerseygirl at 7:39 AM on April 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Aw, that's a shame. I tend to enjoy the more cleverly done tricks, especially ones that tend to poke fun at themselves. Wikipedia's front page is hilarious today, and Google is usually good about satirizing themselves.

The jokes that are more along the lines of "I'm going to draw someone else's webcomic today!" or LOL I MAED U LOOK AT BUTTS! are less fun.
posted by backseatpilot at 7:40 AM on April 1, 2009


There's no prank today because all of the mods are being treated for bowel cancer.
posted by klangklangston at 7:42 AM on April 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


April fools!
posted by klangklangston at 7:43 AM on April 1, 2009


I swear to god, if this post gets 500 favorites, I will cut off my right testicle.

First three people to MeMail me get invitations to watch!
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:43 AM on April 1, 2009


Metafilter is pregnant.
posted by mullacc at 7:48 AM on April 1, 2009


It's like Kentucky porn.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:48 AM on April 1, 2009


Due to the economic downturn, this year's April Fools gag will be provided by Meatbomb.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:48 AM on April 1, 2009


2) Do not read any comments form Joe Beese or djgh for the next 24 hours, to simulate a one day time out.

Aw shit.
posted by djgh at 7:50 AM on April 1, 2009


CORNFICKER HAS A POSSE
posted by Jofus at 7:52 AM on April 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


Once upon a time there was a little boy named Herbie, who had been born blind. He was a kind and joyful boy, but he longed to see like the other children. One night his mother said to him, "Herbie, Jesus told me that if tonight you pray hard enough, tomorrow morning you will be able to see!"

Overjoyed that his dreams would finally come true he went to bed early that night, and bowed his little head and prayed fervently that Jesus would finally grant him his sight. He fell into a restless, delightful sleep. Tomorrow he would gaze at last into his beloved mother's eyes, and see the clouds in a deep blue sky for the first time.

That next morning he woke up and opened his eyes but... he was still blind. He cried out, "Mommy! Mommy! I'm still blind! Jesus didn't answer my prayers!" and his mother said, "I know Herbie. April fools."
posted by dirtdirt at 7:55 AM on April 1, 2009 [10 favorites]


I was prepared for fake turds, but these turds... these turds are real.
posted by Elmore at 7:56 AM on April 1, 2009


Hey, I just an email from a former member saying it's April Fool's Day!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:58 AM on April 1, 2009 [9 favorites]


Brandon, you should probably share that email with us. I suspect it will be well received across the board.
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:00 AM on April 1, 2009


Did you just the whole email?
posted by Science! at 8:01 AM on April 1, 2009


.
posted by desuetude at 8:02 AM on April 1, 2009


Who's we, kemo sabe?
posted by penduluum at 8:12 AM on April 1, 2009


Tell that to cortex.
posted by kldickson at 8:14 AM on April 1, 2009


April Fool's Day pranks are one of the other things we had to strike from the budget, yeah.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:17 AM on April 1, 2009


It's really because you hate Obama.
posted by klangklangston at 8:20 AM on April 1, 2009


I've done some research, and now know disturbing secrets about Brandon's anonymous e-mailer, which I will of course (mostly) keep to myself.
But you can Google them.
posted by obloquy at 8:22 AM on April 1, 2009


If you agree that April Fool's Day isn't funny, please consider favoriting this comment.

If you disagree, also favorite.
posted by DU at 8:26 AM on April 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


I agree with DU, please consider favoriting the comment just below this one.
posted by nola at 8:32 AM on April 1, 2009


If you think cats should be declawed, please favorite this comment and DU's comment.
posted by grouse at 8:35 AM on April 1, 2009


In honor of today, I have made it start. Tomorrow, I will make it stop.
posted by mimo at 8:37 AM on April 1, 2009


Y hd bttr wtch it, bddy. Y jst mght gt dsmvwld!
posted by cimbrog at 8:37 AM on April 1, 2009


Please dump all unwanted favorites here.
posted by The Whelk at 8:44 AM on April 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


If you agree that you will not favorite this comment, please favorite it.
posted by DU at 8:46 AM on April 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


I was going looking for papercuts on the eyes AskMe posts, but found someone who might be going blind in the future. Way to to be a downer, future blind person!
posted by filthy light thief at 8:56 AM on April 1, 2009


You know what I love about April Fools day? You can get away with anything as long as you claim it as a prank:

Sexually assaulting a plant at work? April Fools!

Burning down your neighbors garage? April Fools!

Sending a package of fire ants to your ex-girlfriend? April Fools!

Stealing a cops sidearm? Oh yeah, that's a big April Fools!

Every year, it just keeps getting better and better, because you can build on the reputation you've established over previous seasons.

This year, I haven't even seen any of the people I've pranked previously! I got them all so good that they don't want to risk being embarrassed again. And just in keeping with the festive spirit a bunch of them filed restraining orders! What a bunch of goofballs. The jokes on them though; I'm going to be stopping by each of their houses tonight before midnight with my newest stunt. I'm calling it, trapped in a house full of venomous snakes. It's going to be hysterical!
posted by quin at 9:03 AM on April 1, 2009


prl Fls Dy scks, srsly.
posted by ormondsacker at 9:07 AM on April 1, 2009


Srry, wrng thrd.
posted by ormondsacker at 9:07 AM on April 1, 2009


wldn't mnd th dsmvwlng s mch f t wr nl n n thrd. Bt dsmvwlng m cmmnts n th whl st? Tht's t mch, crtx.
posted by chrdrc at 9:15 AM on April 1, 2009


Wouldn't this be better posted on the headers on the MeFi and ask.mefi site? Really, this is kind of an obscure area of the website to casual users.
posted by crapmatic at 9:16 AM on April 1, 2009


Fuck the casual users! We're hardcore! At MetaFilter!
posted by Mister_A at 9:42 AM on April 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wouldn't this be better posted on the headers on the MeFi and ask.mefi site? Really, this is kind of an obscure area of the website to casual users.

You are absolutely right, and I decree that it shall be be made so. Would everybody please print out this post and glue it up on the header area of the MetaFilter front page? Thanks for your cooperation.
posted by Meatbomb at 10:11 AM on April 1, 2009


You can steal a cop's side-arm whenever you want to, but I'll think back away slowly, realizing that you were fun to party with back in the day, but you are now officially "crazy puddy."
posted by filthy light thief at 10:19 AM on April 1, 2009


Would everybody please print out this post and glue it up on the header area of the MetaFilter front page?

Done. Also, I've killed all "casual users".
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:29 AM on April 1, 2009


Hey Meatbomb, wanna go on a particularly filthy comment spree with me? Cool, you go first. Don't worry, I'll sweet-talk Jess into forgiving us. Go ahead, you go first.
posted by not_on_display at 12:49 PM on April 1, 2009


Don't worry, I'll sweet-talk Jess into forgiving us.

I'm right here!!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:21 PM on April 1, 2009


Quiet, Jess! I've laid the April Fools trap!! He was gonna go first and then I was gonna walk away, whistling, like I had nothing to do with it! Don't blow it!!

...oh geez, he can read this, too, can't he.

posted by not_on_display at 1:40 PM on April 1, 2009


It would have been ultra-awesome if this thread had been deleted.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:42 PM on April 1, 2009


Jssmyn, cld y cnvnc crtx t gv my vwls bck?
posted by chrdrc at 2:04 PM on April 1, 2009


Okay, I'm knocking it off, now.
posted by ocherdraco at 2:42 PM on April 1, 2009


For April Fool's Day, I cling-wrapped an infant's face. The mother was so confused when she went to feed it! Then, I felt the handcuffs go on. "You crazy pranksters!" I said to the cops. Then, playing along, I said "Don't taze me bro!" I shouldn't have said that.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:47 PM on April 1, 2009


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