Yes, more internet-bacon stuff

April 1, 2009 6:45 AM

MeFi's own EmpressCallipygos and Greg Nog appeared on Good Morning America during the Bacon Takedown on Sunday in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

More pictures and stuff available here. Greg Nog made a Bacon Cake and EmpressCallipygos made Bacon Cookies.

posted by Optimus Chyme to MetaFilter-related at 6:45 AM (48 comments total)

Recipes, plz?
posted by ocherdraco at 6:50 AM on April 1

Cool. I have to watch this when I get home from work. Got to bring home the bacon.
posted by Elmore at 6:52 AM on April 1

The ABC News web page has a recipe for my cookies (page 2 of the story), along with recipes for two of the other dishes (the bacon Sloppy Joes and the home-smoked bacon -- I sat between both those two guys at the actual event, and we traded tastes at one point and they were both incredibly impressive).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:54 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

You nerds and your bacon.
posted by electroboy at 6:56 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

It's so cute when Americans are quirky and excessive and wasteful.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:02 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]

It's so cute when Americans are quirky and excessive and wasteful.

Thank God; I was so worried we wouldn't be able to turn this into an America-bashing thread.

09-11-01
YOU CAN NOT STOP US.
WE HAVE THIS BACON.
YOU DIE NOW.
ARE YOU AFRAID?
DEATH TO AMERICA.
DEATH TO ISRAEL.
ALLAH IS GREAT.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:03 AM on April 1 [6 favorites]

Amen
posted by Burhanistan at 7:04 AM on April 1

Sweet jesus, those Good Morning America people are awful.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:11 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

It's so cute when Americans are quirky and excessive and wasteful.

Buhanistan: actually, none of the food cooked by any of the people who took part in that contest was wasted; it all was eaten. In fact, several of the people who took part ran out of food before everyone got fed. Which, if you think about it, makes this lest wasteful than your average restaurant anywhere in the world.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:13 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

burhanistan will kill us all!
Wednesday 1st of April 2009
CHICAGO - The world is in shock as news sinks in.

"It's only a matter of time before burhanistan kills you and everyone you know." said Dr. Paul Rathburg, a University professor who is the spokesman for the World Health Organization.

Contact with, or even being in the proximity of burhanistan is known to trigger acute gnarles barking cough, sweaty bellybutton, and a deadly soup of bacteria called gumbo that shoots out of your nostrils.

"We now know that burhanistan will kill, again and again and again, until none of us are left."

The first victim, "Victim Zero", was a young man who had a web design job, and worked for a well respected university. "He was perfectly fine when he went to work." Rathburg said in a telephone interview.

"After about 15 minutes, he had a case of anal leakage and collapsed on the floor. The autopsy clearly indicates he died from exposure to burhanistan." Rathburg would not disclose the man's name or the precise place and time of his death for privacy reasons.

"Victim Zero" had perfect health. He had made four visits to his doctor in the year before his death for treatment of nipple fingers. Rathburg mentions that there may not be a connection between the two incidents, but the WHO is investigating.

From this seemingly insignificant exposure, burhanistan spread death quickly; killing most of the town. An emergency team was assembled in response to the situation, organized by Rathburg.

"We are almost certain burhanistan is contained, however the perimeter could be breached without any notice. We believe this is an international issue and it should be treated as a very serious problem. Nothing can prevent future deaths." Dr. Rathburg stressed.

Exposure to burhanistan is fatal, and scientists warn everyone to keep away from burhanistan.

"burhanistan may be the most horrible thing I have ever witnessed. There's no doubt, burhanistan will kill us all." Rathburg said as he sobbed into the telephone.

A tragic day for the world as we try to understand the final impact this will have on mankind.
posted by clavdivs at 7:15 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]

Buhanistan: actually, none of the food cooked by any of the people who took part in that contest was wasted
oh, that will change his thinking

cool stuff
posted by clavdivs at 7:18 AM on April 1

none of the food cooked by any of the people who took part in that contest was wasted

Strictly speaking, that's not true; every time someone came up to my table and asked for some cake, I just laughed at them like I was in on a big secret that they weren't allowed to know about, then poured a cup of iodine all over the cake as I watched their face fall. That may have been a little wasteful. And I guess it could be read as "excessive" and "quirky" when I started drawing stick-figure pictures of me having sex with their parents, and blasting free jazz. In retrospect, I think I now understand why I didn't win this cookoff.

Anyway, my recipe is basically a cake version of the cupcake recipe I posted over here. 24 cupcakes should equal two 9-inch round cakes; just bake for a little longer if you choose the latter route.
posted by Greg Nog at 7:32 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]

"If you want to make bacon from scratch, you must first create a universe filled with sweet, delicious pigs. Mmmm." —Carl Sagan
posted by steef at 7:44 AM on April 1 [3 favorites]

I should be so lucky that my basic existence was in fact a killer plague of some sort.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:46 AM on April 1

Meh. Needs more bacon.
posted by owtytrof at 7:47 AM on April 1

This is an April Fool's joke, right? Because I thought mefites hated bacon!
posted by rtha at 8:01 AM on April 1

BACON = INSIDE PIG
posted by cortex at 8:13 AM on April 1

I've said it before, but ham is actually where it's at now. That Good Morning America is now showcasing the hot bacon fad that's sweeping Williamsburg - the place where cool things come to die and be reborn as palatable twaddle - is merely another nail in the coffin.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:14 AM on April 1

Just the other night, as we were finishing breakfast for dinner, I said to my wife, "I know it's 'a thing' on the internet, liking bacon, but I really like bacon." My sensible wife said,"It's not an internet thing. Everyone actually likes bacon."

It's true!
posted by dirtdirt at 8:30 AM on April 1

Just when I thought I couldn't appreciate GregNog any more....
posted by jessamyn at 8:43 AM on April 1

WTF my boyfriend works down the street from Radegast and he had no idea this was going down? Epic fail, SO. Epic. Fail.
posted by spec80 at 8:46 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

Bacon has officially jumped the shark. Back to birds' nest soup.
posted by GuyZero at 8:52 AM on April 1

I actually started making a bingo card for how I thought this thread would go, but didn't get much further than the phrase "jumped the shark" and Scoffing At Williamsburg. I have to say, Burhanistan's "wasteful Americans" is the big winner here. I didn't even think about that one! I'm still holding out hope for a Mac-versus-PC flamewar, though.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:57 AM on April 1 [5 favorites]

Oh, the ironic office bingo card! Let me help you out - we're going to take a few "action items" to "rightsize".

Also, I can pour hot grits down Natalie Portman's pants if you have one of those older Slashdot bingo cards. And Netcraft has confirmed it - bacon is dying.
posted by GuyZero at 9:05 AM on April 1

When i was writing this up all I could think was oh christ this is pretty much engineered for maximum snark: internet + bacon + williamsburg but you know heaven forfend anyone have any fun that isn't cleared by the MetaTalk Grump Coalition's Advisory Committee.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:24 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]

All y'all can choke to death on your shitty bacon products.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:25 AM on April 1

the MetaTalk Grump Coalition's Advisory Committee.
posted by Optimus Chyme

"... I'm also the president!"
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:29 AM on April 1 [1 favorite]

Anyone who has had their opinions about bacon changed, one way or another, by anything that has happened on the internet is not someone you should trust with anything of value. This includes your time.
posted by SpiffyRob at 9:29 AM on April 1

Oh, fun fact -- at the awards ceremony, the organizer announced that he would probably be sponsoring a vegetarian takedown next -- and was greeted by a chorus of boos from the 300-plus bacon fans present.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:10 AM on April 1

Mac-versus-PC flamewar,

Only a MacTard would hate bacon.
posted by rodgerd at 10:19 AM on April 1

Thnks fr th rcps, mprssCllpygs nd GrgNg. s bcn prt n m ftr.
posted by chrdrc at 11:54 AM on April 1

Bacon? I just met 'n!
posted by not_on_display at 12:57 PM on April 1

TRY EATING A SALAD YOU SLOBS!
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:50 PM on April 1

What's with the hipster fetish for bacon?
posted by ornate insect at 3:40 PM on April 1

I ate bacon when bacon wasn't cool.

Now get off my lawn!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:27 PM on April 1

Oh, fun fact -- at the awards ceremony, the organizer announced that he would probably be sponsoring a vegetarian takedown next -- and was greeted by a chorus of boos from the 300-plus bacon fans present.

Is it wrong that this actually makes me physically angry? Do I need to cool down or something?
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:44 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]

>Oh, fun fact -- at the awards ceremony, the organizer announced that he would probably be sponsoring a vegetarian takedown next -- and was greeted by a chorus of boos from the 300-plus bacon fans present.

Is it wrong that this actually makes me physically angry? Do I need to cool down or something?

I took the boos as being tongue-in-cheek, fret not. :-) Judging from the links to photos of past takedown cooking events, it looks like a lot of the same people compete in all of them no matter what they're cooking, so some of those people who were booing already had every intention of showing up on vegetarian takedown day with their super-special tofu and seitan dishes.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:54 PM on April 1

Awesome! You guys both looked great. And bacon, no matter how cool you get, I will always love you anyway, just like I did when I was a child and only ever got two lousy half pieces.
posted by Miko at 7:53 PM on April 1

Miko- You grew up on half pieces also?

My mom did until only recently, when she decided she had done enough cooking and everyone else should do it.

It was such a distinct memory for me that for a while I remember thinking only fancy places like restaurants served whole bacon.
posted by mrzarquon at 11:09 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]

(er, my mom always prepared bacon in half strips, until recently, when she decided she had had enough of cooking, and either my dad or I are the ones preparing the bacon)
posted by mrzarquon at 11:11 PM on April 1

It was such a distinct memory for me that for a while I remember thinking only fancy places like restaurants served whole bacon.

You know, I have been known to come home and make myself bacon butties for lunch. With a whole quarter kilo pack of bacon.

My cholesterol is fine, why do you ask?
posted by rodgerd at 4:30 AM on April 2

My cholesterol is fine, why do you ask?

Bacon and nutrition is a funny thing. I think that most people consider bacon to be, like, the worst possible thing you could have in your diet. But recently I started looking at the nutrition information, and it's not all that bad! Not something you could eat at all three meals and have a balanced diet, but not an atomic bomb, either. It has some saturated fat (in three slices, 18% of your daily allowance, or about the same as a serving of peanut butter), under 150 calories, and 3% of the daily max of dietary cholesterol, 9 milligrams, much less than in a serving of chicken. It's high in sodium, but that's not a problem for everyone, and certainly contains nitrates, but so do a lot of things that people don't have such a reaction to.

In other words, it's not a great sin to eat it in moderation. I'm not sure why it picked up that reputation.
posted by Miko at 6:31 AM on April 2

In other words, it's not a great sin to eat it in moderation.

I think the key words there are "in moderation." Many bacon fans tend to overshoot the three-slice minimum.

In other words.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:18 AM on April 2

Only a MacTard would hate bacon.

Not true: I love the smell of Windows machines frying.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:41 AM on April 2

*waves to EmpressCallipygos*
posted by radioamy at 9:46 AM on April 2

When I lived in Transylvania, if we wanted bacon we needed to go to the butcher to get it. He would hack it off of the big piece of meat that was hanging in his little shop (with an AXE, using a STUMP for a cutting board) and wrap it in white paper and sell it to you, cheap. It was basically a chunk of a pig, skin and hair still on. You had to slice it yourself. It was delicious.

I realize this probably belongs in the self-parody thread but it seemed to also fit here.
posted by jessamyn at 10:02 AM on April 2 [5 favorites]

If I spend time on the internet bemoaning how much bacon talk is on the internet does that mean I'm contributing to the problem?
posted by josher71 at 12:02 PM on April 2

Anyone in the DFW metroplex(and apparently Houston) who hasn't been there yet - you must visit Two Rows for the breakfast buffet. Three words: honey pepper bacon. That alone is worth the price of admission, but the rest of the food is pretty fantastic, too, and, speaking only for the Garland location because that's the only one I've been to, they keep everything super fresh.
posted by owtytrof at 12:10 PM on April 2