Crowded behind the green curtain. June 20, 2009 9:49 AM Subscribe
From a profile:
I inherited this account from my mom who died three years ago. I am, apparently, a sub-par contributor.
(My Dad uses it sometimes, too. He's the one with the more intelligent comments)
(Later. At this point, several, well, three or five, people are using this account but none will ever match the original account holder in terms of The Right Stuff)
I don't think there's a guideline for multiple people using one account, but maybe there should be? [Not a callout, hence no link.]
I inherited this account from my mom who died three years ago. I am, apparently, a sub-par contributor.
(My Dad uses it sometimes, too. He's the one with the more intelligent comments)
(Later. At this point, several, well, three or five, people are using this account but none will ever match the original account holder in terms of The Right Stuff)
I don't think there's a guideline for multiple people using one account, but maybe there should be? [Not a callout, hence no link.]
You should probably set up a living will. What a waste to wait until brain-death.
Also: there's no way to search for content on user pages?
posted by nobody at 9:58 AM on June 20, 2009
Also: there's no way to search for content on user pages?
posted by nobody at 9:58 AM on June 20, 2009
there's no way to search for content on user pages?
I think they aren't indexed, by design.
posted by carsonb at 10:03 AM on June 20, 2009
I think they aren't indexed, by design.
posted by carsonb at 10:03 AM on June 20, 2009
What a waste to wait until brain-death.
Most of my comments here were made after brain death.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:07 AM on June 20, 2009 [5 favorites]
Most of my comments here were made after brain death.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:07 AM on June 20, 2009 [5 favorites]
As I have before expressed my wishes to, after my death, have my corpse animated by a colony of bees or wasps, I think it only fitting to ask whatever craven caretaker mines my thorax for honey to please restrict my MetaFilter output to the green. The wars of the Blue and Grey are decidedly uncivil, and provoking the insects to further hostility when they cannot understand the emotions of man seems to be a recipe for disaster.
However, I believe they will be eminently suited to answer queries of the hive mind.
posted by klangklangston at 10:16 AM on June 20, 2009 [29 favorites]
However, I believe they will be eminently suited to answer queries of the hive mind.
posted by klangklangston at 10:16 AM on June 20, 2009 [29 favorites]
I am not the Dread Poster ColdChef, either. My name is Rollo.
posted by ColdChef at 10:20 AM on June 20, 2009 [27 favorites]
posted by ColdChef at 10:20 AM on June 20, 2009 [27 favorites]
In my perfect world, new people would always sign up for new accounts. I think in practice it's understandable for someone to pass on a not-super-high-profile account to someone else if it makes sense to the folks involved—it's not something we're going to ban someone over—but it'd be nice if in those cases the handoff were pretty clearly and openly delineated by the account holder(s).
Multiple people actively using the same account is something we're not so cool with; there's a certain amount of trust in identity around here that's part of the social contract of the place, and when that's actively subverted (even without any malicious intent) by the sharing-around of one account by several people that trust is compromised somewhat.
Someone very occasionally piping up on a significant other's account, okay, we accept that that's gonna happen and aren't too worried about it in very small doses (though, again, disclosure is a really good thing here), but that's about the limit of what I'm comfortable in practice.
Not trying to treat this as the callout it wasn't intended to be, but this is definitely an example where I'm inclined to write to the user and sort of clarify the above and see if this is a situation where they ought to get another account or two. 3-5 people silently sharing an account is really pushing into problematic territory.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:23 AM on June 20, 2009 [4 favorites]
Multiple people actively using the same account is something we're not so cool with; there's a certain amount of trust in identity around here that's part of the social contract of the place, and when that's actively subverted (even without any malicious intent) by the sharing-around of one account by several people that trust is compromised somewhat.
Someone very occasionally piping up on a significant other's account, okay, we accept that that's gonna happen and aren't too worried about it in very small doses (though, again, disclosure is a really good thing here), but that's about the limit of what I'm comfortable in practice.
Not trying to treat this as the callout it wasn't intended to be, but this is definitely an example where I'm inclined to write to the user and sort of clarify the above and see if this is a situation where they ought to get another account or two. 3-5 people silently sharing an account is really pushing into problematic territory.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:23 AM on June 20, 2009 [4 favorites]
I agree.
posted by box at 10:29 AM on June 20, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by box at 10:29 AM on June 20, 2009 [2 favorites]
I disagree.
posted by box at 10:29 AM on June 20, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by box at 10:29 AM on June 20, 2009 [4 favorites]
I just got here, what'd I miss?
posted by box at 10:29 AM on June 20, 2009 [50 favorites]
posted by box at 10:29 AM on June 20, 2009 [50 favorites]
I think this shared-account stuff is bullshit. I mean, when you spouse that person, how do you know who you're really spousing?
posted by inigo2 at 10:36 AM on June 20, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by inigo2 at 10:36 AM on June 20, 2009 [8 favorites]
Two people use my account. Me and Jesus Christ, who speaks through me.
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:43 AM on June 20, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:43 AM on June 20, 2009 [8 favorites]
Sure, but what about Mayor Peace Love and Understanding or Peace Love Understanding and Respect or Peace Unity Love and Having Fun or, y'know, whatsisname?
posted by box at 10:46 AM on June 20, 2009
posted by box at 10:46 AM on June 20, 2009
Would Eve need three accounts?
posted by Cranberry at 10:51 AM on June 20, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Cranberry at 10:51 AM on June 20, 2009 [2 favorites]
Someone very occasionally piping up on a significant other's account, okay, we accept that that's gonna happen and aren't too worried about it in very small doses
This reminds me of something that happened recently. Once or twice I have accidentally posted replies from my SOs account, when I'm on his computer and forget that as a result I'm in his account.
A few weeks ago, he went to post an AskMe question a few days after I had posted one, and he got a message saying that it was possible he'd posted from another account within the last few days, and if that was true, would he please wait until the week was up to post another question, but if not, he could go ahead and post his question.
Clearly our two accounts are linked somehow deep in the servers. How? Did some person have to notice my accidental posts from within his account and link them, or is there some program that watches for such things?
(Ironically, the question he was posting was actually a question I wanted to ask but I'd used my question for the week--he is a real living breathing human being with his own account, but he is _also_ my sockpuppet, and I think there should be a category for that in contacts: spouse/sockpuppet.)
posted by not that girl at 10:55 AM on June 20, 2009
This reminds me of something that happened recently. Once or twice I have accidentally posted replies from my SOs account, when I'm on his computer and forget that as a result I'm in his account.
A few weeks ago, he went to post an AskMe question a few days after I had posted one, and he got a message saying that it was possible he'd posted from another account within the last few days, and if that was true, would he please wait until the week was up to post another question, but if not, he could go ahead and post his question.
Clearly our two accounts are linked somehow deep in the servers. How? Did some person have to notice my accidental posts from within his account and link them, or is there some program that watches for such things?
(Ironically, the question he was posting was actually a question I wanted to ask but I'd used my question for the week--he is a real living breathing human being with his own account, but he is _also_ my sockpuppet, and I think there should be a category for that in contacts: spouse/sockpuppet.)
posted by not that girl at 10:55 AM on June 20, 2009
And he asked him, "What is thy name?" And he answered, saying, "My name is Legion: for we are many. "
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:57 AM on June 20, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:57 AM on June 20, 2009 [4 favorites]
not that girl writes "Clearly our two accounts are linked somehow deep in the servers. How?"
You are using the same IP address. The posting page checks to see if the current IP address has posted a question recently. It's not an autoban because this legitimately happens all the time.
posted by Mitheral at 10:57 AM on June 20, 2009
You are using the same IP address. The posting page checks to see if the current IP address has posted a question recently. It's not an autoban because this legitimately happens all the time.
posted by Mitheral at 10:57 AM on June 20, 2009
You are using the same IP address.
*Sigh* I thought it might be as simple as that, but really I wanted it to be some kind of top-secret MetaFilter Black Ops spy ring thing...
posted by not that girl at 11:01 AM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]
*Sigh* I thought it might be as simple as that, but really I wanted it to be some kind of top-secret MetaFilter Black Ops spy ring thing...
posted by not that girl at 11:01 AM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]
Two people use my account. Me and Jesus Christ, who speaks through me.
I thought I recognized those footprints.
posted by inigo2 at 11:05 AM on June 20, 2009 [9 favorites]
I thought I recognized those footprints.
posted by inigo2 at 11:05 AM on June 20, 2009 [9 favorites]
I wanted it to be some kind of top-secret MetaFilter Black Ops spy ring thing...
I don't think the Cabal would tell you if it was.
posted by Durin's Bane at 11:12 AM on June 20, 2009
I don't think the Cabal would tell you if it was.
posted by Durin's Bane at 11:12 AM on June 20, 2009
What about my Eustace?
posted by Confess, Fletch at 12:03 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by Confess, Fletch at 12:03 PM on June 20, 2009
No joke, I had a dream the other night where it turned out that every single user was ONE PERSON and it was the single most insane, deranged social experiment ever undertaken in history, and then I was like, wait, this person posted all MY comments instead of me? and that's where it got all crazy.
posted by ORthey at 12:04 PM on June 20, 2009 [16 favorites]
posted by ORthey at 12:04 PM on June 20, 2009 [16 favorites]
I have a team of people ready 24/7 to type my comments and put my feet in my mouth at a moment's notice. I may be able to let some of them go now that I have a cadre of spouses.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:11 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:11 PM on June 20, 2009
Yes, IP address checking. We owe you one for catching that, special ag- er, regular member Mitheral.
posted by the Cabal at 12:19 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by the Cabal at 12:19 PM on June 20, 2009
Two people use my account. Me and Jesus Christ, who speaks through me.
Mayor Curley, you made me spit Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper at my monitor. Hee hee.
posted by Lynsey at 12:22 PM on June 20, 2009
What about my Eustace?
Not advised. Having him share your account gives our mods the willies.
posted by expialidocious at 12:38 PM on June 20, 2009
Not advised. Having him share your account gives our mods the willies.
posted by expialidocious at 12:38 PM on June 20, 2009
CABAL INTERNAL MEMORANDUM NO. 4815162342
******************************************
"not that girl," user 37949 on Metafilter(Dimension
6/ Linear Spacetime Module) is at risk of knowing
too much. The Top-Secret Metafilter Black Ops Spy
Ring has been contacted. We await a reply. [STOP]
******************************************
END CABAL INTERNAL MEMORANDUM. TINC.
******************************************
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 12:46 PM on June 20, 2009 [13 favorites]
apologies to Rock Steady for jacking his joke.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 12:49 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 12:49 PM on June 20, 2009
The cabal would never use teletype. It would all be messages sent through captchas on various websites. You have to know when and where to refresh the captcha to get the...oh I've said too much.
posted by furious at 12:53 PM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by furious at 12:53 PM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]
I didn't know Robert X. Cringely had an account here.
posted by Rhomboid at 12:55 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by Rhomboid at 12:55 PM on June 20, 2009
Three to five people sharing? What is this, some overcrowded, bedbug-infested youth hostel? Jesus, pry open your Satis-House-looking wallet and fork over the lousy five dollars for your own account already, cheapskate.
posted by FelliniBlank at 12:58 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by FelliniBlank at 12:58 PM on June 20, 2009
3-5 people silently sharing an account is really pushing into problematic territory.
In what way is this problematic?
posted by five fresh fish at 1:00 PM on June 20, 2009
In what way is this problematic?
posted by five fresh fish at 1:00 PM on June 20, 2009
Three to five people are sharing my account, but the same three to five people share my brain. Is that okay?
posted by little e at 1:01 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by little e at 1:01 PM on June 20, 2009
If someone is half a boy and half a man, they can just share the one account, though, right?
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:04 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:04 PM on June 20, 2009
What if the sharers are two to four tiny Brussels sprouts, in addition to the littlest Brussels sprouts, which when combined would still be smaller than the average-sized sprout? Bear in mind that all Brussels sprouts, regardless of size, exhibit an uncanny unity of thought.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:06 PM on June 20, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:06 PM on June 20, 2009 [6 favorites]
Three to five people are sharing my account, but the same three to five people share my brain. Is that okay?
Yes, it's really the ratio of brains:accounts that matters. And for all those cases where it exceeds 1:1, there are enough 0:1 cases to keep the average right where it should be.
posted by FishBike at 1:07 PM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]
Yes, it's really the ratio of brains:accounts that matters. And for all those cases where it exceeds 1:1, there are enough 0:1 cases to keep the average right where it should be.
posted by FishBike at 1:07 PM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]
Additionally, I am my own invisible friend. Does that make any difference?
posted by little e at 1:14 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by little e at 1:14 PM on June 20, 2009
If someone is half a boy and half a man, they can just share the one account, though, right?
What if you're not a girl; not yet a woman?
posted by peggynature at 1:14 PM on June 20, 2009 [2 favorites]
What if you're not a girl; not yet a woman?
posted by peggynature at 1:14 PM on June 20, 2009 [2 favorites]
I think it's clear, Voltron is now "Mefi's Own".
posted by hippybear at 1:15 PM on June 20, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 1:15 PM on June 20, 2009 [5 favorites]
Hmm, if all the Brussels sprouts came from the same plant, they'd basically be clones, right? So it's really the same sprout using the account. Which would explain the uncanny unity of thought, too.
posted by Quietgal at 1:15 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by Quietgal at 1:15 PM on June 20, 2009
What if you're not a girl; not yet a woman?
It depends on the age of consent in your jurisdiction.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:16 PM on June 20, 2009
It depends on the age of consent in your jurisdiction.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 1:16 PM on June 20, 2009
What if you're not a girl; not yet a woman?
This is acceptable as long as nobody mentions that damn Neil Diamond song about being a woman soon. Creepy, creepy pedophile.
posted by little e at 1:18 PM on June 20, 2009
This is acceptable as long as nobody mentions that damn Neil Diamond song about being a woman soon. Creepy, creepy pedophile.
posted by little e at 1:18 PM on June 20, 2009
Three to five people sharing? What is this, some overcrowded, bedbug-infested youth hostel? Jesus, pry open your Satis-House-looking wallet and fork over the lousy five dollars for your own account already, cheapskate.
Harsh. Sounds like it may have become the family account, in memoriam.
It's difficult for families to let go of communities that appreciated their lost loved one, and there's no established etiquette for this type of situation yet. On the one hand, the family should inform the site/community, but on the other, there's often a risk that the account will be closed and erased.
I agree that one-person-one-account is best. Things can get very confusing otherwise.
posted by zennie at 1:19 PM on June 20, 2009
Harsh. Sounds like it may have become the family account, in memoriam.
It's difficult for families to let go of communities that appreciated their lost loved one, and there's no established etiquette for this type of situation yet. On the one hand, the family should inform the site/community, but on the other, there's often a risk that the account will be closed and erased.
I agree that one-person-one-account is best. Things can get very confusing otherwise.
posted by zennie at 1:19 PM on June 20, 2009
Mayor Curley is yanking your chain people, all of my communication with y'all comes direct from this account.
posted by Meatbomb at 1:26 PM on June 20, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Meatbomb at 1:26 PM on June 20, 2009 [2 favorites]
Hmm. When questions are put in the holding pattern because of a match to another question poster's IP, do the mods have a look each time? Would it matter that, in my case, my mefite housemates are marked as co-residents? Or does it fall to us to inquire? (IsThisThingOn is SUCH a noob, you see. I worry he might not act to get his question asked, and become discouraged, then all my touting of this place would be for naught.)
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:37 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:37 PM on June 20, 2009
Actually, they don't go in a holding pattern; if there's a possible match when you go to post less than 7 days after the match posted and askme, it brings up a warning that says, basically, "heads up, if your socking around the limit, that's not cool, right?"
You can still post anyway, so if you're clean don't worry about it and everything proceeds as normal. We get an email when those posts go through and will do a quick sanity check to see if it looks like friend/SO/etc accounts that aren't the same person (in which case we can manually set that account association to be ignored in the future) or if it is indeed someone who is not only socking around the limit but ignoring the warning to boot, in which case we write to tell them to cut it out.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:59 PM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]
You can still post anyway, so if you're clean don't worry about it and everything proceeds as normal. We get an email when those posts go through and will do a quick sanity check to see if it looks like friend/SO/etc accounts that aren't the same person (in which case we can manually set that account association to be ignored in the future) or if it is indeed someone who is not only socking around the limit but ignoring the warning to boot, in which case we write to tell them to cut it out.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:59 PM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]
pat robertson is going to be so pissed when he finds out what i've been doing with this account
posted by pyramid termite at 2:07 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by pyramid termite at 2:07 PM on June 20, 2009
This is acceptable as long as nobody mentions that damn Neil Diamond song about being a woman soon. Creepy, creepy pedophile.
I see your Neil Diamond and raise you a Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.
posted by FelliniBlank at 2:24 PM on June 20, 2009 [2 favorites]
I see your Neil Diamond and raise you a Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.
posted by FelliniBlank at 2:24 PM on June 20, 2009 [2 favorites]
Sweet sexy jesus, that's fucked-up. "Though you know it's wrong to be alone with me, that come along look is in your eyes."
posted by five fresh fish at 2:30 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by five fresh fish at 2:30 PM on June 20, 2009
Meh. I'll call your Gary Puckett and raise you The Coasters.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:41 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:41 PM on June 20, 2009
"heads up, if your socking around the limit, that's not cool, right?"
Jerk. My socking around the limit is very cool. I don't know about your socking around the limit.
HOMONYMS!!! ***jazz hands***
posted by SpiffyRob at 2:48 PM on June 20, 2009
Jerk. My socking around the limit is very cool. I don't know about your socking around the limit.
HOMONYMS!!! ***jazz hands***
posted by SpiffyRob at 2:48 PM on June 20, 2009
Additionally, I am my own imaginary friend. Does that make any difference?
My imaginary friend told me I was too boring and dumped me for a whole bunch of even more fictional people. Said I was too unwilling to be his "spouse". I believe he posts here as "Brandon Blatcher".
posted by Electric Dragon at 2:54 PM on June 20, 2009
My imaginary friend told me I was too boring and dumped me for a whole bunch of even more fictional people. Said I was too unwilling to be his "spouse". I believe he posts here as "Brandon Blatcher".
posted by Electric Dragon at 2:54 PM on June 20, 2009
When these users shared an account it was considered cute and charming...
because it was.
posted by Rock Steady at 3:06 PM on June 20, 2009
because it was.
posted by Rock Steady at 3:06 PM on June 20, 2009
I'm not sharing this account, I'm subletting it. It's only a dollar a comment for the whole summer, and Klang said the account had already built up plenty of good will, so people won't even notice if I screw up!
posted by klangklangston at 4:09 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by klangklangston at 4:09 PM on June 20, 2009
whups!
posted by klangklangston at 4:10 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by klangklangston at 4:10 PM on June 20, 2009
If only I'd known you could do that. One of the reasons I broke up with My Crazy Ex was it was costing too much to get a separate account for each of her multiple personalities. (I was mildly disturbed at the influence of MetaFilter on her when one of them claimed to speak for "the hive"; I have since come to the conclusion that most if not all of them had been bullshitting me from the beginning)
Okay that first sentence was just a bad joke (but the parenthetical, sadly, was all too true).
posted by wendell at 4:46 PM on June 20, 2009
Okay that first sentence was just a bad joke (but the parenthetical, sadly, was all too true).
posted by wendell at 4:46 PM on June 20, 2009
> Meh. I'll call your Gary Puckett and raise you The Coasters.
That Coasters song has one of the all-time great lines: "I saw the risin' of the sun." I don't know why that's so perfect and evocative, but it is.
True story: At one of the legendary all-night parties we used to throw at the 157th Street Commune (not actually a commune, I hate that shit), with breakfast for survivors down the street at Wilson's, a good friend of mine was lying on a rug staring into the eyes of a gorgeous young woman. She was staring into his. It was obvious they were deep, deep into some serious soul mingling and headed for greater things. Our mutual friend Tony, who was something of a hardass, leaned down and whispered in the besotted fellow's ear; the latter turned a pale green and leaped like a hooked trout. Tony walked off laughing. I followed him into the kitchen and said "For God's sake, what did you say to him?" "I said, 'She's fifteen.'"
And she was, too. I have no idea how Tony knew, but the would-be couple spent weeks having anguished phone calls—could they wait three years?—before deciding It Could Never Be. You bastard, Tony! You enjoyed the whole thing far too much! If I hadn't lost touch with him, I'd introduce him to MetaFilter; he'd be happy as a pig in shit here.
posted by languagehat at 5:50 PM on June 20, 2009 [6 favorites]
That Coasters song has one of the all-time great lines: "I saw the risin' of the sun." I don't know why that's so perfect and evocative, but it is.
True story: At one of the legendary all-night parties we used to throw at the 157th Street Commune (not actually a commune, I hate that shit), with breakfast for survivors down the street at Wilson's, a good friend of mine was lying on a rug staring into the eyes of a gorgeous young woman. She was staring into his. It was obvious they were deep, deep into some serious soul mingling and headed for greater things. Our mutual friend Tony, who was something of a hardass, leaned down and whispered in the besotted fellow's ear; the latter turned a pale green and leaped like a hooked trout. Tony walked off laughing. I followed him into the kitchen and said "For God's sake, what did you say to him?" "I said, 'She's fifteen.'"
And she was, too. I have no idea how Tony knew, but the would-be couple spent weeks having anguished phone calls—could they wait three years?—before deciding It Could Never Be. You bastard, Tony! You enjoyed the whole thing far too much! If I hadn't lost touch with him, I'd introduce him to MetaFilter; he'd be happy as a pig in shit here.
posted by languagehat at 5:50 PM on June 20, 2009 [6 favorites]
What if you're not a girl; not yet a woman?
This is acceptable as long as nobody mentions that damn Neil Diamond song about being a woman soon. Creepy, creepy pedophile.
What if you Make love just like a woman, but break like a little girl? (Am I alone in finding that song a little creepy too?)
posted by naoko at 6:00 PM on June 20, 2009
This is acceptable as long as nobody mentions that damn Neil Diamond song about being a woman soon. Creepy, creepy pedophile.
What if you Make love just like a woman, but break like a little girl? (Am I alone in finding that song a little creepy too?)
posted by naoko at 6:00 PM on June 20, 2009
We're gonna sock around the clock tonight, we're gonna sock sock sock till broad daylight...
posted by IndigoRain at 8:53 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by IndigoRain at 8:53 PM on June 20, 2009
Bah; they all pale in comparison to this Danny Elfman classic.
posted by davejay at 9:01 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by davejay at 9:01 PM on June 20, 2009
Sweet sexy jesus, that's fucked-up.
it was also very popular with pre-teen and teen girls
but i'll see y'all with a bobby vee and raise you with a lulu - all the way from "crayons to perfume"
posted by pyramid termite at 9:29 PM on June 20, 2009
it was also very popular with pre-teen and teen girls
but i'll see y'all with a bobby vee and raise you with a lulu - all the way from "crayons to perfume"
posted by pyramid termite at 9:29 PM on June 20, 2009
Sadly, despite what others think, I am the only one posting this dribble from my account.
JG
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:36 PM on June 20, 2009
JG
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:36 PM on June 20, 2009
Unless of course I am considered another person when I am drunk.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:37 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:37 PM on June 20, 2009
damn it, i can't find a youtube video of frank zappa doing brown shoes don't make it
posted by pyramid termite at 9:43 PM on June 20, 2009
posted by pyramid termite at 9:43 PM on June 20, 2009
I think the question is, why DON'T you?
posted by peggynature at 9:49 PM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by peggynature at 9:49 PM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]
WELL I DO NOW
When the government comes for me I'm blaming you all.
Conway Twitty sure knows how to treat a girl
posted by graventy at 9:51 PM on June 20, 2009
When the government comes for me I'm blaming you all.
Conway Twitty sure knows how to treat a girl
posted by graventy at 9:51 PM on June 20, 2009
When these users shared an account it was considered cute and charming...
because it was.
posted by Rock Steady
Good memories! That still warms my cockles.
posted by The Deej at 9:56 PM on June 20, 2009
because it was.
posted by Rock Steady
Good memories! That still warms my cockles.
posted by The Deej at 9:56 PM on June 20, 2009
Why do you guys know so much about pedophile songs?
we grew up in the 60s when pedophiles were accepted members of society
(i sure wish i was kidding about that - every neighborhood, including mine, had "funny" neighbors that everyone knew couldn't be trusted around kids)
but seriously, it was considered "cute" - because officially, we were in deep, deep denial that things like that went on
posted by pyramid termite at 9:58 PM on June 20, 2009 [3 favorites]
we grew up in the 60s when pedophiles were accepted members of society
(i sure wish i was kidding about that - every neighborhood, including mine, had "funny" neighbors that everyone knew couldn't be trusted around kids)
but seriously, it was considered "cute" - because officially, we were in deep, deep denial that things like that went on
posted by pyramid termite at 9:58 PM on June 20, 2009 [3 favorites]
I always thought David Bowie's Let Me Sleep Beside You was right in creepy old man territory despite how young he was when he wrote it.
posted by shelleycat at 12:03 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by shelleycat at 12:03 AM on June 21, 2009
I think the word 'jailbait' captures it well. FTFY. Nothing new here. move along.
posted by adamvasco at 2:36 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by adamvasco at 2:36 AM on June 21, 2009
peggynature, that Conway Twitty song made me a little queasy. My husband recognized it, but luckily I had never heard it before.
posted by pinky at 11:08 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by pinky at 11:08 AM on June 21, 2009
"My name is ...Loltia. And Uh, I'm not supposed to play ..with boys!"
Or, just screw the euphemisms and get to the point.
posted by The Whelk at 12:40 PM on June 21, 2009
Or, just screw the euphemisms and get to the point.
posted by The Whelk at 12:40 PM on June 21, 2009
There's a Wikipedia page for these songs, isn't there.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:26 PM on June 21, 2009
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:26 PM on June 21, 2009
Why do you guys know so much about pedophile songs?
Got to have something on the ipod when I'm lurking exactly 1001 feet from the elementary school.
posted by little e at 1:54 PM on June 21, 2009
Got to have something on the ipod when I'm lurking exactly 1001 feet from the elementary school.
posted by little e at 1:54 PM on June 21, 2009
Every thing I know about Conway Twitty, I learned from this tax case. If there's anything that makes tax law more fun, it's a dumb poem written by a non-poet judge.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 2:35 PM on June 21, 2009
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 2:35 PM on June 21, 2009
Well, she was just seventeen, if you know what I mean.
Well, see, in the UK, the age of consent was and is 16. A bunch of guys in their early twenties singing about 17 year olds is not pedophilia.
posted by rodgerd at 3:06 PM on June 21, 2009
Well, see, in the UK, the age of consent was and is 16. A bunch of guys in their early twenties singing about 17 year olds is not pedophilia.
posted by rodgerd at 3:06 PM on June 21, 2009
if your socking around the limit
So "socking" is a verb now? Like shipping?
posted by GuyZero at 4:19 PM on June 21, 2009
So "socking" is a verb now? Like shipping?
posted by GuyZero at 4:19 PM on June 21, 2009
There's a whole stable of weird admin-specific vocabulary I've managed to wander into over the last couple of years, really. If you think "socking" is weird, you should chew on "notsocksing" for a while.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:10 PM on June 21, 2009
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:10 PM on June 21, 2009
In 1536, at the age of 20, a young man who was a part of what was supposed to be his father's last voyage was attacked by pirates of the Digg Brotherhood in a bay off the coast of Bengalla. The last thing he saw before he fell unconscious and into the sea was his father being murdered by the leader of the pirates. Both ships exploded, making him the sole survivor of the attack. Washed ashore on a Bengalla beach, seemingly half dead, the young man was found by pygmies of the Bandar tribe, who nursed him and took care of him.
Some time later, the young man was taking a walk on the same beach, and found a dead body there, whom he recognized as the pirate who killed his father. He allowed the vultures flying around the body to eat its meat, took up the skull of the killer, raised it above his head, and swore an oath: "I swear to devote my life to the destruction of piracy, greed, cruelty, injustice and SLYT posts in all their forms! My sons and their sons shall follow me."
In that instant, the legend of Effigy2000 was born. He became The Metafilter User Account That Walks. Feared by self-linkers and other criminals the world over, old jungle saying tells that anyone who calls me out in MetaTalk will surely die a horrible death.
Today, I am the 21st person to bear the title of Effigy2000. While I don't live in a Skull Cave like my father and his father before him, I do hold down a 9 to 5 job that allows me to surf Metafilter a whole lot. And, within minutes of my death, I know my son will be posting as me, continuing the legacy and legend of Effigy2000, the MeFite Who Cannot Die.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:28 PM on June 21, 2009 [5 favorites]
Some time later, the young man was taking a walk on the same beach, and found a dead body there, whom he recognized as the pirate who killed his father. He allowed the vultures flying around the body to eat its meat, took up the skull of the killer, raised it above his head, and swore an oath: "I swear to devote my life to the destruction of piracy, greed, cruelty, injustice and SLYT posts in all their forms! My sons and their sons shall follow me."
In that instant, the legend of Effigy2000 was born. He became The Metafilter User Account That Walks. Feared by self-linkers and other criminals the world over, old jungle saying tells that anyone who calls me out in MetaTalk will surely die a horrible death.
Today, I am the 21st person to bear the title of Effigy2000. While I don't live in a Skull Cave like my father and his father before him, I do hold down a 9 to 5 job that allows me to surf Metafilter a whole lot. And, within minutes of my death, I know my son will be posting as me, continuing the legacy and legend of Effigy2000, the MeFite Who Cannot Die.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:28 PM on June 21, 2009 [5 favorites]
Well, she was just seventeen, if you know what I mean.
Well, see, in the UK, the age of consent was and is 16. A bunch of guys in their early twenties singing about 17 year olds is not pedophilia.
Yeah, sure, but the "if you know what I mean" is obviously a bit of a *wink, wink* *nudge, nudge* she's 17, right? know what I mean? I mean 14.
posted by graventy at 6:55 PM on June 21, 2009
Well, see, in the UK, the age of consent was and is 16. A bunch of guys in their early twenties singing about 17 year olds is not pedophilia.
Yeah, sure, but the "if you know what I mean" is obviously a bit of a *wink, wink* *nudge, nudge* she's 17, right? know what I mean? I mean 14.
posted by graventy at 6:55 PM on June 21, 2009
This is acceptable as long as nobody mentions that damn Neil Diamond song about being a woman soon. Creepy, creepy pedophile.
Sweet Caroline?
posted by grobstein at 10:01 PM on June 21, 2009
Sweet Caroline?
posted by grobstein at 10:01 PM on June 21, 2009
ORThey: No joke, I had a dream the other night where it turned out that every single user was ONE PERSON and it was the single most insane, deranged social experiment ever undertaken in history, and then I was like, wait, this person posted all MY comments instead of me? and that's where it got all crazy.
I woke up an hour ago from a nightmare convinced of pretty much the same thing but instead of it being MetaFilter it was the Iranian protests. And now that I'm awake and can't go to sleep because, y'know, clown will eat me, I come into MetaTalk and find this comment. It's like our shared, consensual hallucination just got a little less consensual for me.
posted by Kattullus at 11:39 PM on June 21, 2009
I woke up an hour ago from a nightmare convinced of pretty much the same thing but instead of it being MetaFilter it was the Iranian protests. And now that I'm awake and can't go to sleep because, y'know, clown will eat me, I come into MetaTalk and find this comment. It's like our shared, consensual hallucination just got a little less consensual for me.
posted by Kattullus at 11:39 PM on June 21, 2009
this is exactly why i have two mefi accounts. one for each kid.
posted by lester at 6:29 AM on June 22, 2009
posted by lester at 6:29 AM on June 22, 2009
Two people use my account as well. The person that posts all the comments that everyone seems to love and favorite (me) and that asshole that posts everything else (not me). :>)
posted by Mastercheddaar at 7:31 AM on June 22, 2009
posted by Mastercheddaar at 7:31 AM on June 22, 2009
notsocksing
um, surely that's a typo. If not it brings the whole idea of internet filking down - and i do mean down - to a new low. Congrats, either way!
filksockings, now there's a thought.
posted by mwhybark at 9:23 PM on June 22, 2009
um, surely that's a typo. If not it brings the whole idea of internet filking down - and i do mean down - to a new low. Congrats, either way!
filksockings, now there's a thought.
posted by mwhybark at 9:23 PM on June 22, 2009
Totally not a typo. A shiny donut to anyone who can correctly suss out the meaning of that gerund!
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:29 PM on June 22, 2009
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:29 PM on June 22, 2009
It's like cocksocking, but even less so.
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:57 AM on June 23, 2009
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:57 AM on June 23, 2009
little e: …as long as nobody mentions that damn Neil Diamond song about being a woman soon. Creepy, creepy pedophile.
FelliniBlank: I see your Neil Diamond and raise you a Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.
PeterMcDermott: Meh. I'll call your Gary Puckett and raise you The Coasters.
Johnny Burnette - You're Sixteen (1960). Old-time 50's schlocky rock-n-roll nostalgia does not excuse a 26-year-old sleeping with a 16-year-old—it might be just sort of weird if not for the fact that there was actual pedophilia within rock at the time. And all this goes double to Ringo for being dumb enough to cover this.
Mötorhead - Jailbait (1980). Well…yeah.
ABBA - Does Your Mother Know (1979). Sort of anti-pedophilia, but still…all ABBA songs sung by Bjorn are lame. However, I have in my collection a copy of The Gleaming Spires' (see below) Funk For Children EP on which they cover this tune to great effect.
Grateful Dead - Mexicali Blues (1971). Lyrics:
And it's three days ride from Bakersfield
And I don't know why I came
I guess I came to keep from payin' dues
So instead I've got a bottle and a girl who's just fourteen
And a damned good case of the Mexicali blues
The Gleaming Spires - Are You Ready For The Sex Girls? (1981). No pedophilia, but sincerely, this is a classic of ridiculous misogynistic excess; you may remember it from the Revenge Of The Nerds soundtrack. It is a joke. I'm sure you can't tell. Lyrics:
Are you ready for the sex girls?
The hot, hot, lean, hot, big hot girls?
Are you ready for the sex girls?
The right, right, ultra-vital nice-nice girls?
They play pool in your house and take off their own clothes
They can talk about love 'cuz they know where it goes
They are WOMEN WITHOUT ANY FAULTS…
Are you ready for the pony girls?
The ride, ride, fast, ride, pony girls?
Are you ready for the lonely girls?
The sad, sad, oh, sad lonely girls?
They've got time on their hands, they've got SKIN like SEALS
They can talk about love 'cuz they know how it feels
They are WOMEN WITHOUT ANY FAULTS…
One comes over
Then they all come over
Then they party all around your house
One gets too romantic
One is kinda frantic
One is quiet as a mouse
Bikinis gleaming in the morning light
You might lose your life
They go crazy in the bedroom, baby
And they might explode your mind!
Are you ready for the sex girls?
The fine, fine, super-special real sex girls?
Are you ready for the best girls?
The knees-showin', knees-showin', big-breast girls?
There's a knock on your door and they're there in your house
If you can't talk love then you better get out
These are WOMEN WITHOUT ANY FAULTS…
And they are never accidental
And the party never ends
So close your eyes and make a wish—
The sex girls will be there!
Are you ready for the sex girls?
SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX!
Are you ready for the sex girls?
The hot, hot, lean, hot, big hot girls?
There's that knock on your door and they've come back again
If you can't talk love, then you'd better pretend
These are WOMEN WITHOUT ANY FAULTS…
Are you ready for the sex girls?
No one is ready for the sex girls!
There's that knock on your door, now you just gotta learn
Don't whine about love, every boy gets a turn
With these WOMEN WITHOUT ANY FAULTS…
Are you ready for the sex girls?
No one is ready for the sex-sex girls!
Are you ready for the sex girls?
No one is ready for the big sex girls…
posted by koeselitz at 12:20 PM on June 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
FelliniBlank: I see your Neil Diamond and raise you a Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.
PeterMcDermott: Meh. I'll call your Gary Puckett and raise you The Coasters.
Johnny Burnette - You're Sixteen (1960). Old-time 50's schlocky rock-n-roll nostalgia does not excuse a 26-year-old sleeping with a 16-year-old—it might be just sort of weird if not for the fact that there was actual pedophilia within rock at the time. And all this goes double to Ringo for being dumb enough to cover this.
Mötorhead - Jailbait (1980). Well…yeah.
ABBA - Does Your Mother Know (1979). Sort of anti-pedophilia, but still…all ABBA songs sung by Bjorn are lame. However, I have in my collection a copy of The Gleaming Spires' (see below) Funk For Children EP on which they cover this tune to great effect.
Grateful Dead - Mexicali Blues (1971). Lyrics:
And it's three days ride from Bakersfield
And I don't know why I came
I guess I came to keep from payin' dues
So instead I've got a bottle and a girl who's just fourteen
And a damned good case of the Mexicali blues
The Gleaming Spires - Are You Ready For The Sex Girls? (1981). No pedophilia, but sincerely, this is a classic of ridiculous misogynistic excess; you may remember it from the Revenge Of The Nerds soundtrack. It is a joke. I'm sure you can't tell. Lyrics:
Are you ready for the sex girls?
The hot, hot, lean, hot, big hot girls?
Are you ready for the sex girls?
The right, right, ultra-vital nice-nice girls?
They play pool in your house and take off their own clothes
They can talk about love 'cuz they know where it goes
They are WOMEN WITHOUT ANY FAULTS…
Are you ready for the pony girls?
The ride, ride, fast, ride, pony girls?
Are you ready for the lonely girls?
The sad, sad, oh, sad lonely girls?
They've got time on their hands, they've got SKIN like SEALS
They can talk about love 'cuz they know how it feels
They are WOMEN WITHOUT ANY FAULTS…
One comes over
Then they all come over
Then they party all around your house
One gets too romantic
One is kinda frantic
One is quiet as a mouse
Bikinis gleaming in the morning light
You might lose your life
They go crazy in the bedroom, baby
And they might explode your mind!
Are you ready for the sex girls?
The fine, fine, super-special real sex girls?
Are you ready for the best girls?
The knees-showin', knees-showin', big-breast girls?
There's a knock on your door and they're there in your house
If you can't talk love then you better get out
These are WOMEN WITHOUT ANY FAULTS…
And they are never accidental
And the party never ends
So close your eyes and make a wish—
The sex girls will be there!
Are you ready for the sex girls?
SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX!
Are you ready for the sex girls?
The hot, hot, lean, hot, big hot girls?
There's that knock on your door and they've come back again
If you can't talk love, then you'd better pretend
These are WOMEN WITHOUT ANY FAULTS…
Are you ready for the sex girls?
No one is ready for the sex girls!
There's that knock on your door, now you just gotta learn
Don't whine about love, every boy gets a turn
With these WOMEN WITHOUT ANY FAULTS…
Are you ready for the sex girls?
No one is ready for the sex-sex girls!
Are you ready for the sex girls?
No one is ready for the big sex girls…
posted by koeselitz at 12:20 PM on June 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
So, a man and a girl are walking down a dirt path in the woods one evening. The sun starts to set, owls are hooting and the fog rolls in.
The girl shudders, cold and frightened, and looks at the man: "I'm scared!"
The man laughs and pats the girl on the head: "You're scared? At least you don't have to walk back alone!"
posted by Loto at 10:17 AM on June 24, 2009
The girl shudders, cold and frightened, and looks at the man: "I'm scared!"
The man laughs and pats the girl on the head: "You're scared? At least you don't have to walk back alone!"
posted by Loto at 10:17 AM on June 24, 2009
One of the umpteen people who shares my account posted that.
posted by Loto at 10:18 AM on June 24, 2009
posted by Loto at 10:18 AM on June 24, 2009
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I hope that someone else will be actively commenting on AskMe as hermitosis within minutes after my death.
posted by hermitosis at 9:55 AM on June 20, 2009 [1 favorite]