Hive Love February 22, 2010 11:29 AM Subscribe
What are your favorite relationship filter askmes?
I know lots of you hate relationship filter, but for the non-haters out there, what questions and answers about love and romance have been the most compelling, useful, and insightful?
I know lots of you hate relationship filter, but for the non-haters out there, what questions and answers about love and romance have been the most compelling, useful, and insightful?
Great question. Here are some good relationshipfilter comments:
Why people are promiscuous
Children as a deal-breaker
Timing
Don't stop looking
posted by Jaltcoh at 11:54 AM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
Why people are promiscuous
Children as a deal-breaker
Timing
Don't stop looking
posted by Jaltcoh at 11:54 AM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
My all-time favorite relationship AskMe is the one about relationship hacks.
posted by palomar at 12:27 PM on February 22, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by palomar at 12:27 PM on February 22, 2010 [4 favorites]
The banjo one.
posted by fixedgear at 12:36 PM on February 22, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by fixedgear at 12:36 PM on February 22, 2010 [4 favorites]
what conversations are a must before two people get married
posted by nadawi at 12:46 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by nadawi at 12:46 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
Good relationshipfilter threads:
Is it necessary to have a crush?
Teach a Martian how to be a boyfriend.
What are the best questions you've ever been asked / asked someone to get to know them better, build closer friendships/bonds, find out secrets and interesting tidbits about their lives and worldviews?
Common relationship myths (deleted)
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:04 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Is it necessary to have a crush?
Teach a Martian how to be a boyfriend.
What are the best questions you've ever been asked / asked someone to get to know them better, build closer friendships/bonds, find out secrets and interesting tidbits about their lives and worldviews?
Common relationship myths (deleted)
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:04 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
My all-time favorite relationship AskMe is the one about relationship hacks.
BTW, it's also the all-time most favorited relationship AskMe, with more than twice as many favorites as any other.
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:11 PM on February 22, 2010
BTW, it's also the all-time most favorited relationship AskMe, with more than twice as many favorites as any other.
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:11 PM on February 22, 2010
ManInSuit on avoidant feelings in a relationship: "Lots of things in life that are pleasurable, valuable, important, etc, can also have components that are challenging, stressful and risky."
loiseau on self-respect: "how do you salvage your self-respect? You don't. Self-respect doesn't happen to you, and you don't have to earn it. You have to claim it."
Willie0248 on taking a more pragmatic view of relationships.
Unicorn on the cob: A really good relationship will have all of the following...
Sticky Carpet: In a long term relationship I think of there being at least five legs to the table.
Single forever: a ton of interesting advice, not necessarily about being single forever, but about not going down the marriage and kids route.
anitanita on leaving and letting go: "you go on to have another different adventure, with different people, and you imagine that they are also having another adventure, with other people, and you're happy for them".
melissa may talking about marriage: "I've heard enough nauseating platitudes about marriage to last me a lifetime -- how it's work and commitment and whatever -- so much of it belied by the terrible way so many people actually treat each other. For me it's about how the simple act of loving and being loved changes your life. I understand and trust it, and it gives me peace. I've mean it to last as long as I live."
... and about loving a clumsy person.
Everything occhiblu and thehmsbeagle wrote, ever.
oof what am I doing with my life
posted by the cat's pyjamas at 1:56 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
loiseau on self-respect: "how do you salvage your self-respect? You don't. Self-respect doesn't happen to you, and you don't have to earn it. You have to claim it."
Willie0248 on taking a more pragmatic view of relationships.
Unicorn on the cob: A really good relationship will have all of the following...
Sticky Carpet: In a long term relationship I think of there being at least five legs to the table.
Single forever: a ton of interesting advice, not necessarily about being single forever, but about not going down the marriage and kids route.
anitanita on leaving and letting go: "you go on to have another different adventure, with different people, and you imagine that they are also having another adventure, with other people, and you're happy for them".
melissa may talking about marriage: "I've heard enough nauseating platitudes about marriage to last me a lifetime -- how it's work and commitment and whatever -- so much of it belied by the terrible way so many people actually treat each other. For me it's about how the simple act of loving and being loved changes your life. I understand and trust it, and it gives me peace. I've mean it to last as long as I live."
... and about loving a clumsy person.
Everything occhiblu and thehmsbeagle wrote, ever.
oof what am I doing with my life
posted by the cat's pyjamas at 1:56 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
fr0zen & xteraco.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:57 PM on February 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:57 PM on February 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
"No spark, now what?" - specifically, for StickCarpet's Five Legged Table metaphor.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:00 PM on February 22, 2010
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:00 PM on February 22, 2010
Stuck in the dreaded “friend zone” was my favorite, about the grad student who had a crush on his Chinese roommate. It's a cute, self-contained story that played out in realtime on the green.
posted by serathen at 2:47 PM on February 22, 2010
posted by serathen at 2:47 PM on February 22, 2010
omg the chinese roommate thread was so exciting!
posted by moxiedoll at 2:59 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by moxiedoll at 2:59 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
What's the policy on pestering Ask's OP's for updates? I'd really like to know how things are going with Socially Awkward and Chinese Roommate. (no, I wouldn't *actually* pester the guy)
What a sweet Metafilter story!
posted by MuChao at 4:39 PM on February 22, 2010
What a sweet Metafilter story!
posted by MuChao at 4:39 PM on February 22, 2010
Thanks to metafilter, I now know that it's funny for straight men to email each other pictures of their penises. The things you find out on the internet.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:04 PM on February 22, 2010
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:04 PM on February 22, 2010
I'm confident that Is my husband trying to kill me? wins this prize.
posted by zadcat at 7:26 PM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by zadcat at 7:26 PM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
"Thanks to metafilter, I now know that it's funny for straight men to email each other pictures of their penises. The things you find out on the internet."
hey fiasco I couldn't find ur email also r u straight?
posted by klangklangston at 7:56 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
hey fiasco I couldn't find ur email also r u straight?
posted by klangklangston at 7:56 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
[makes mental note not to check mefimail at work]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 8:20 PM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 8:20 PM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
But seriously on the matter of pictures of penises and the internet, I think my advice to this ask is at least tangentially relevant, if not universally true for all time.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:10 PM on February 22, 2010
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:10 PM on February 22, 2010
Banjo for sure. Fedora, if it counts.
I still think the Chinese roommate one was an exercise in storytelling.
posted by mendel at 9:36 PM on February 22, 2010
I still think the Chinese roommate one was an exercise in storytelling.
posted by mendel at 9:36 PM on February 22, 2010
Someone should grab all the dating filter questions and stick them on the wiki under DateMe.
posted by special-k at 11:25 PM on February 22, 2010
posted by special-k at 11:25 PM on February 22, 2010
The Cat's Pyjamas said:
"oof what am I doing with my life?"
Well, you've reminded me that I am more than my sort of reallybaddayatworktoday grar that's been gnawing on me since about 2pm today. So apparently, you're spending part of your life making random Californians who are displaced New Yorkers smile, because you've just made my 11:28 pm on February, 22nd just So. Much. Better.
I *love* reading relationshipfilter, and since the grar means I can't sleep, I started reading everyone's comments until I saw my own callout - which was the equivalent of being binged upside the head with a star-tipped "See, It's all good" wand.
And double points for tangentially reminding me of my own study abroad experiences in Scotland and Germany. Good times. Good times.
I think imma go to bed now.
posted by anitanita at 11:28 PM on February 22, 2010
"oof what am I doing with my life?"
Well, you've reminded me that I am more than my sort of reallybaddayatworktoday grar that's been gnawing on me since about 2pm today. So apparently, you're spending part of your life making random Californians who are displaced New Yorkers smile, because you've just made my 11:28 pm on February, 22nd just So. Much. Better.
I *love* reading relationshipfilter, and since the grar means I can't sleep, I started reading everyone's comments until I saw my own callout - which was the equivalent of being binged upside the head with a star-tipped "See, It's all good" wand.
And double points for tangentially reminding me of my own study abroad experiences in Scotland and Germany. Good times. Good times.
I think imma go to bed now.
posted by anitanita at 11:28 PM on February 22, 2010
Wow that husband trying to kill me one is something else. I'm kind of glad it's most likely not true, but still...Someone who actually thinks like that in real life would be so sad to be around.
posted by pecknpah at 11:53 PM on February 22, 2010
posted by pecknpah at 11:53 PM on February 22, 2010
I have nothing to add, but just wanted to point out that the heading 'Hive Love' reminds me of this Penny Arcade strip which is also about relationships.
forty alien breasts bristling with nipples
posted by slimepuppy at 7:28 AM on February 23, 2010
forty alien breasts bristling with nipples
posted by slimepuppy at 7:28 AM on February 23, 2010
Wow, that penis photos thread was not what I had in mind when I posted this question, but it may be the best answer here.
Seriously, thanks for the links friends.
posted by serazin at 7:53 AM on February 23, 2010
Seriously, thanks for the links friends.
posted by serazin at 7:53 AM on February 23, 2010
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posted by Justinian at 11:40 AM on February 22, 2010