what makes cortex so "important"?

April 28, 2010 5:19 PM

Why is MeFi turning into the Josh Millard Fan Club?

I have noticed that Metafilter is failing its original premise. it is increasingly NOT a "best of the web" resource, nor is it a true "community weblog".

It seems increaasingly more like the private Josh Millard Fan Club. He posts his ego-ridden crap and his very bad folkie music, and people applaud him.

So, to demonstrate my point, I have chosen some random threads from the last four years.
Please note that the following are only a small sampling. There are many, many more.

http://music.metafilter.com/858/88-Lines-About-44-Mefites

http://music.metafilter.com/4483/Complicated-Avril-cover

http://music.metafilter.com/4420/Rewrite

http://music.metafilter.com/4403/Meanwhile

http://music.metafilter.com/4398/Tell-It-All

http://music.metafilter.com/4380/Get-You-Laid

http://music.metafilter.com/4372/Stumble

http://music.metafilter.com/1562/California-Dreamin-cover

http://music.metafilter.com/1100/Nobody-Knows-You-When-Youre-Down-and-Out-Guthrie-cover

http://music.metafilter.com/1573/On-The-Blue-With-Apologies-to-John-Coulter-Valve-Et-Al

http://metatalk.metafilter.com/12608/Cortex-comes-through-again

http://music.metafilter.com/480/Please-Stop-The-Asshattery

http://metatalk.metafilter.com/11595/cortex-records-matthewchen-is-spamming

And of course, cortex also has his own private half-assed "ironic" joke site that looks like Metafilter. I did not find it funny or ironic at all, merely sad.
http://metafiltr.com/

Does ANYONE on MeFi EVER criticize cortex? I was unable to find any examples.
(Although I did find some posts he deleted, for strange or meaningless reasons.)

This blogger has a lot of harsh things to say about Metafilter and cortex. Is he right or wrong?

http://shitplanet.org/2010/04/say-it-slowly-ey-ya-fy-alla-yoi-kull.html

http://shitplanet.org/2008/05/metafilter-waste-of-electricity.html

All the smart people have left Metafilter in disgust, I suspect. Leaving behind the Josh toadies and the cowards. It appears that the "moderation" of Metafilter is a failure.

Please, prove me wrong, in a manner that is intellectually better than mere childish ad-hominem attacks. If you can offer some cogent and believable criticism of this post, maybe I'll post again--with evidence that MeFi's moderators are also suppressing posts that criticize Israel.

posted by harold_dumbacher to MetaFilter-Related at 5:19 PM (116 comments total)

Oh fantastic! This post came back. I am so so pleased to figure out what's going on here.
posted by Think_Long at 5:21 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

This blogger has a lot of harsh things to say about Metafilter and cortex. Is he right or wrong?

Our understanding is that blogger is someone that you know. I criticize cortex a lot. Sometimes his jokes aren't funny and sometimes he slacks and says he's going to update his blog and then doesn't. You seem to have an axe to grind that would best be taken to email, but I'll be happy to leave this open briefly to see if cortex is around and wants to say something to you.

Is there some reason you're still on MeFi if you dislike him so much?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:22 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

what makes cortex so "important"?

He's the only thing standing between us and Israel.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:26 PM on April 28, 2010 [50 favorites]

Does ANYONE on MeFi EVER criticize cortex?
I vaguely remember saying that he was sort of like Weird Al Yankovic a few years ago but he likes Weird Al so he took it pretty well.
posted by chococat at 5:26 PM on April 28, 2010 [9 favorites]

You know a man's going somewhere when he gets his first crazed stalker. Who knows, Weird Al might parody one of his songs next.
posted by stavrogin at 5:27 PM on April 28, 2010

I criticize cortex a lot.

Well, sorry, I don't see evidence of it here.

Is there some reason you're still on MeFi if you dislike him so much?

Metafilter used to be a good community. And I'd like to see that again. If you have disagreements with him about how to run it, please feel free to inform the rest of us that there's a problem. I just get the feeling that criticism of MeFi, no matter how well-deserved, simply disappears--just like Wikipedia criticism, or Twitter criticism, or Facebook criticism.......

Not doing this to be a pain, just want to know why we have this community with virtually no dissenting voices visible.
posted by harold_dumbacher at 5:28 PM on April 28, 2010

I DISAGREE!
posted by iamkimiam at 5:30 PM on April 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

"No dissenting voices visible"? Have you ever read MetaTalk before?
posted by RogerB at 5:30 PM on April 28, 2010 [70 favorites]

Your 'random samples' with the exception of two, are all from MuFi, the minorest of the minor subsites. Who cares (other than you)? Why do YOU care?
posted by ArgentCorvid at 5:31 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

For someone that joined 11 days ago, that's one big axe you got there partner.
posted by deezil at 5:31 PM on April 28, 2010 [12 favorites]

Yuck. I'm sorry I gave your friend's blog the clicks. What a bundle of cyber-crazy
posted by Think_Long at 5:32 PM on April 28, 2010 [5 favorites]

They are here and there are a lot, confined to MetaTalk though. Now it's making sense why you originally posted this to the front page of Metafilter proper.
posted by vapidave at 5:33 PM on April 28, 2010

All the smart people have left Metafilter in disgust, I suspect.
...
Please, prove me wrong

You are wrong.
posted by agropyron at 5:33 PM on April 28, 2010 [74 favorites]

Not doing this to be a pain, just want to know why we have this community with virtually no dissenting voices visible.

People really like him. He's a nice guy online and in person. There are plenty of MeTa callouts of him where people complain about things that they think he's done wrong and we talk about that for a while, but really maybe you don't click with him. Check your own tag, there are a ton of people calling him out. That's certainly okay, but I think there are a bunch of things going on here.

First off cortex and I both work for mathowie who is user number one and whose site this is. If you have a serious beef with cortex it might be good to take it there. Secondly, cortex has only been working here full time for the past year or two. He's a newcomer. If you think the community is going to shit, it might be better to blame me or mathowie for that because we've both been working here way longer.

We don't delete criticism of the site here, thought we do sometimes channel dissatisfaction with moderator activities into MeTa like we did with this. People just don't complain about each other all the time. You'll see a few people who get called out in MeTa more than once or twice, but it's a pretty rare thing and it happens only around people who are really controversial, which cortex isn't, or act out in really weird ways which he mostly doesn't.

Again if you don't like his personality hey, it happens, but he's a good guy and a good moderator and the reason people don't complain about him is that he's generally all right.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:34 PM on April 28, 2010 [60 favorites]

I don't like this. It's one thing to call out a member for something they've specifically said or done on the site, but this seems very personal and mean-spirited. There isn't anything cortex can do about the fact that someone doesn't like him personally, and there is no possibility for discourse in my opinion. Just nastiness.
posted by Danila at 5:34 PM on April 28, 2010 [29 favorites]

You are insane. Cortex is awesome. Please go away.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:35 PM on April 28, 2010 [65 favorites]

They are here and there are a lot, confined to MetaTalk though. Now it's making sense why you originally posted this to the front page of Metafilter proper.

Yes, I was trying to get more people to see and critique it. And cortex deleted it within TWO MINUTES.
posted by harold_dumbacher at 5:35 PM on April 28, 2010

He deleted it because it's about Metafilter and therefore belongs in Metatalk. Any similar post would have had the same damn thing happen to it.
posted by the dief at 5:36 PM on April 28, 2010 [23 favorites]

And cortex deleted it within TWO MINUTES.

See, he is really good at his job.

But really, complaining about moderator activity has to take place on this subsite. That's a site rule and I'm sorry if you didn't know it, but that's how it works. Now you've posted here and again I'll see where cortex is and if he wants to respond, but it's really hard to understand where you're coming from where you're this angry and at the same time seemingly don't really know how the site works.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:37 PM on April 28, 2010 [12 favorites]

harold_dumbacher: "Yes, I was trying to get more people to see and critique it. And cortex deleted it within TWO MINUTES"

Problems about Metafilter go to MeTa. Front page call outs aren't cool at all.
posted by deezil at 5:38 PM on April 28, 2010

Do you mean to say that shitplanet.org is closer to your vision of the "best of the web" than MetaFilter?
posted by lukemeister at 5:39 PM on April 28, 2010 [11 favorites]

Please, prove me wrong, in a manner that is intellectually better than mere childish ad-hominem attacks.

1) You have provided no description of how "Metafilter used to be a good community" that is somehow different from today, nor any evidence that your golden-days changed as a result of any of your examples of cortex love.

2) There is therefore no actual argument to refute, such that your unsupported opinions can even be addressed by any method other than mere childish ad-hominem attacks.

3) You are obviously some form of half-sentient lingering fart blossom, who can barely formulate a coherant rant.

4) QED
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:40 PM on April 28, 2010 [47 favorites]

Yeah, if you had made a post about how much you loved cortex on the FPP he'd have deleted it immediately as well.
posted by Green With You at 5:41 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yes, I was trying to get more people to see and critique it. And cortex deleted it within TWO MINUTES.

It was deleted from the blue because that was not an appropriate place for it. Issues pertaining to MetaFilter or mods go to MetaTalk. If you don't get that, maybe you should get a better feel for this community before you come in and deal out some unnecessarily harsh criticism of its dynamics.
posted by piratebowling at 5:41 PM on April 28, 2010 [7 favorites]

Alright, he might have waited a little longer.
posted by Green With You at 5:41 PM on April 28, 2010

posted by harold_dumbacher Yes, I was trying to get more people to see and critique it. And cortex deleted it within TWO MINUTES.

That's why we like cortex. He deletes crap.
posted by mattdidthat at 5:42 PM on April 28, 2010 [7 favorites]

I disagree with his decision not to delete your account.
posted by jamjam at 5:42 PM on April 28, 2010 [18 favorites]

THIS IS WORSE THAN GENOCIDE
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:44 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yes, I was trying to get more people to see and critique it. And cortex deleted it within TWO MINUTES.

The fact that he didn't ban you for being a dick and breaking the guidelines at the same time is a testament to how cool a guy he is.
posted by Hiker at 5:45 PM on April 28, 2010 [18 favorites]

People need to start wagering their hands. Make it happen!
posted by chunking express at 5:46 PM on April 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

Please, prove me wrong, in a manner that is intellectually better than mere childish ad-hominem attacks.

You first.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 5:46 PM on April 28, 2010 [10 favorites]

You're right, we don't hassle cortex anymore. See, we stopped picking on cortex when vacapinta came in. He's the new kid now. New kid! New kid! New kids are weird! Cortex, on the other hand, has been assimilated.

In other news, this is pretty nasty and unfortunate, dude. It so sucks when someone is wrong on the internet, doesn't it? Perhaps you should consider obtaining one of those life things so it won't seem quite so awful and world shattering when it happens.
posted by mygothlaundry at 5:46 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Your very ability to make this post for a baffling second time is testament that the mods do not suppress dissidence, no matter how batshit insane.

If you can offer some cogent and believable criticism of this post, maybe I'll post again--with evidence that MeFi's moderators are also suppressing posts that criticize Israel.

You're doing this wrong.
posted by dnesan at 5:46 PM on April 28, 2010 [5 favorites]

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 5:47 PM on April 28, 2010 [19 favorites]

Please, prove me wrong, in a manner that is intellectually better than mere childish ad-hominem attacks.

So you get to attack a guy's ability to moderate based on the music he posts to this website, and we can't argue with you by telling you that you're an idiot? Hmm. Doesn't seem fair.
posted by threetoed at 5:48 PM on April 28, 2010

Christ, what an asshole.

oh, you're gonna pick on cortex as well?
posted by gman at 5:49 PM on April 28, 2010

Oh ....man.
posted by The Whelk at 5:50 PM on April 28, 2010

Does ANYONE on MeFi EVER criticize cortex?

Cortex, stop being so motherfucking cool, you're wrecking the grade curve and have my wife muttering "Why can't you play banjo?!"
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:51 PM on April 28, 2010 [18 favorites]

How long will we indulge the troll?
posted by shothotbot at 5:51 PM on April 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

I need the ability to send drugs over TC/IP cause damn
posted by The Whelk at 5:53 PM on April 28, 2010

Holy shit.
posted by Kwine at 5:53 PM on April 28, 2010

Why is MeFi turning into the Josh Millard Fan Club?

Because the meetings of the Harold Dumbacher Fan Club were poorly attended, smelled like locker room, and the snacks were awful.
posted by pineapple at 5:54 PM on April 28, 2010 [95 favorites]

How long will we indulge the troll?

Actually, let me rephrase that. This is an unhinged, pointless rant and while it might be unseemly for Cortex to close it, I think Matt should shut this puppy down.
posted by shothotbot at 5:55 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Brandon Blatcher: " have my wife muttering "Why can't you play banjo?!"

Tell your wife that NO ONE can play banjo.





Bah-dump-bum-SWISH!

I really like to make banjo jokes
posted by pineapple at 5:55 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

what the what
posted by modernnomad at 5:56 PM on April 28, 2010

Here's one.

What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead banjo player in the road?
posted by pineapple at 5:56 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

the banjo joke is

Duh da dun dun dun dah dun dun duuuuun.
posted by The Whelk at 5:56 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

He's a newcomer. If you think the community is going to shit, it might be better to blame me or mathowie for that because we've both been working here way longer.

Oh, but he the cited blogger does, Jessamyn! One of the linked pages has this gem (referring to a picture thereon): "On the extreme right is Jessamyn West. She was allegedly named after a famous socialist writer who died some years ago." Ah, yes, the nefarious socialist author Jessamyn West! That would explain why Indianapolis chose her The Friendly Persuasion as its very first "One Book" in 2003, Indianapolis being well-known as a hotbed of socialism.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 5:56 PM on April 28, 2010

The snake was on its way to a gig!
posted by pineapple at 5:56 PM on April 28, 2010 [24 favorites]

I oh all you alls a beer after this cause grace under pressure, wow, I would have salted the Earth way before this.
posted by The Whelk at 5:57 PM on April 28, 2010

Dear harold_dumbacher,
If you like, you're more than free to become part
of my Secret Cool Club, which is way, way better
than nasty ol' Josh MillardFilter.

Best of all, it'll only set you back TEN bucks.
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:58 PM on April 28, 2010

It's kind of fun pointing and laughing at the crazy guy, but it feels a little unseemly. I'd like to vote for closing this up, too.
posted by EarBucket at 5:58 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm sort of confused - as to why someone here would bother to prove you wrong, since all it sounds like we'd get for our trouble is the continued presence and contribution of a person who had suggested in the most mean-spirited, almost bullying fashion, that we are all unintelligent, toadies and cowards?

I mean even if we all somehow freakishly were, why would you want to spend time around us?

And if you were wrong, and we weren't, with your incredibly disrespectful approach, why would you want to spend time around you?

Perhaps this is more a reflection of you and how you're spending your time, than anyone here?
posted by anitanita at 5:58 PM on April 28, 2010 [4 favorites]

IT IS BECAUZ THE JOOS AND THE NEOCONS SECRITLY CONTROL CORTEX WITH THEIR MIND CONTROL RAYZ AND THEIR BLACK HELICOPTERS AND BESIZED EVERYONE KNOWS ITS NOT THE CORTEX BUT THE MEDULA INNA GADA DA VIDA OBLONGATA THAT IS SOOPER COOL. HEARTBEAT, BLOOD PRESSURE, AND IRON BUTTERFLY IN ONE. WOULD YOU LIKE A RIDE IN MY VAN?
posted by jenkinsEar at 5:59 PM on April 28, 2010 [6 favorites]

This is so hilariously stupid and wrong on pretty much every possible level that it's not even worth an argument, but I sort of hope you get one, or a hundred. I do have to say that it seems that your main gripe seems to be "cortex writes bad folk music and also hates palestinians" which is such a great arbitrary insult that I'm going to start using it on my real-life friends, without, and here's the kicker, ever explaining why.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 6:00 PM on April 28, 2010 [23 favorites]

If you can offer some cogent and believable criticism of this post

Well, the proper way to link is to first copy the URL you want to link to, so that it can be pasted. Then type the words you want to represent the link. Next, highlight those words with your mouse. With the words still highlighted, observe the small, blue and underlined 'link' button at the bottom right-hand corner of the dialog box. Click that button. When the dialog box appears in front of this window, paste your URL into the box. Then click the 'OK' button. That's really all there is to it.

I hope that was fucking cogent; you suck ass at making links.
posted by iamkimiam at 6:00 PM on April 28, 2010 [34 favorites]

All the smart people have left Metafilter in disgust

He must have missed the thread where we all talked about how we could have joined Mensa but were way to cool to do it.
posted by not that girl at 6:01 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

I never got that "salt the earth" idea, I thought that the root for the word "salary" came from the word for "salt" and that Roman soldiers were sometimes payed in salt. Were the Romans so damn rich that they sprinkled money on the ground to thwart their enemies?
posted by vapidave at 6:01 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

This callout was so inept, and the results so inevitable, that I can't help but think it's actually a belated birthday present for cortex. I'd accuse him of writing it himself, but he's not talented enough to fake this level of inanity.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:02 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Ugh. I'm out to dinner so I'm not really in a spot to dig in here. harold, I don't know you from Adam but this honestly feels like your friend metasonix re-upping a two-year-old grudge by proxy and I don't really know what your stake in it is. This reads really weird to me, but at least, this is the right part of the site.

I work here and try to help keep the place in working order, and it's my hangout. I'm sorry if you don't like me, but that's your right. Not liking my music is kind of a bizarre non- sequitur. Thinking people don't call me on stuff they disagree with is just plain inattentiveness on your part.

Not sure what else go say here. You seem to have come to mefi specifically to launch a broadside at me, which seems like a pretty shitty thing to do and leaves me wondering what it is you actually value about the site.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:02 PM on April 28, 2010 [68 favorites]

You are genuinely crazy and I feel a little sorry for you.
posted by kate blank at 6:02 PM on April 28, 2010 [5 favorites]

O hai! why Trollz haz Cortex hait? Wat he eva do 2 u?

Thnx 4 futur ansWER.

Kbai.
posted by zizzle at 6:02 PM on April 28, 2010

Vapiddave, salt makes the ground unable to grow things. It means not only are you killing them, you're making sure they can never use the land again.
posted by The Whelk at 6:02 PM on April 28, 2010

Hey Cortex how is dinner? I'm making Chili!
posted by The Whelk at 6:03 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

I look forward to chiliburgers later in the week. mmmm.
posted by The Whelk at 6:03 PM on April 28, 2010

This is an unhinged, pointless rant and while it might be unseemly for Cortex to close it, I think Matt should shut this puppy down.

I feel like cortex should at least get an option to say something, but if they're all out for the night, I may close it up at some point. Matt's in NY talking about how awesome we all are. If you guys could not be horrible despite how tempting it might be in the meantime, that'd be swell.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:03 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

A thin layer of kaiser roll isn;t too carby, right? The bulk is meat and beans? Am I lying to myself?
posted by The Whelk at 6:04 PM on April 28, 2010

Best of all, it'll only set you back TEN bucks.

That's a good deal right there, way better than in town.
posted by dnesan at 6:04 PM on April 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

I think we should talk about how awesome and supportive we are.
posted by The Whelk at 6:04 PM on April 28, 2010

......cause we are.
posted by The Whelk at 6:04 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

On preview, hi cortex! I missed you.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:04 PM on April 28, 2010

OKay I'll start, I had a LOVELY time with ColdChef in New York and he got me a Sandwich from Kat's Deli and suffered me getting him shaved and put up with my random walking around historical milestones.
posted by The Whelk at 6:05 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Well, duh. It's in HIS NAME. Check it out:

Cortex = cort + ex

I think that says it all.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:06 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

If you guys...

sexist
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:06 PM on April 28, 2010

Hiker: "The fact that he didn't ban you for being a dick and breaking the guidelines at the same time is a testament to how cool a guy he is"

Just for the hell of it, I took a moment to think of the worst thing I could say about cortex.

Ready for it?

He's grouchier than jessamyn.

That's all I got.

So yeah, this is like the stupidest callout ever.
posted by Joe Beese at 6:07 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

cortex is a mod, and often times in online communities, people like to polish the apple of the people who make decisions. However, there is plenty of evidence to the contrary if one is willing to do honest research.

More importantly, cortex is an employee of MetaFilter Networks, Inc. and his supervisor/boss is mathowie. If cortex were doing something irregular or wrong, his supervisor would hear about it here or in email, etc. cortex is still employed by MFI and I have heard nothing of him not performing the duties assigned him.

so, um, I can only guess you are batshit insane and will just become another in-joke to this community once you are banned. Good luck with that.
posted by terrapin at 6:07 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

I don't know where else online you hang out, but you should try some other places. I am a member of other communities where much less than your stunt on the blue or even this post would have earned you a perma-ban, case closed, the end. I'll just add that as someone who has disagreed with mathowie and jessamyn and exchanged emails with them about different site issues in the past, they have to be top 5 most reasonable, and yes, nice, people online. What planet are you from, anyway?
posted by mlis at 6:07 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

If someone wrote a post this mean-spirited about another user would it be allowed to stay?
posted by grouse at 6:07 PM on April 28, 2010 [4 favorites]

Close this shit up and let the man enjoy his ego-ridden dinner.
posted by chococat at 6:07 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

LOL wat

The best part is I assumed that something had happened recently that pissed off some guy, so he's ranting about it now because he's raw about it. But then I saw the first blog post is two years old and two years later he still posts about it.

I don't know if you're the blog's author, harold_dumbacher, or really someone different, but either way this obsession with cortex is unhealthy. I'm not being snarky when I say this: you might find therapy helpful. It is not normal and it is not a component of a happy life to spend time on a website you dislike listening to music you don't like and reading comments from a person you don't like and scouring their personal websites just so you can fixate on how much you dislike them. It is not healthy to feel so much dislike for someone that you can't stand that other people might like them so you trash them and demand that other people justify why they like them. It's not healthy to rage over why someone else is seen as "so important" to other people. No one is ever going to give up a say you have a point, both because they legitimately disagree and because you make yourself look unhinged.

Thousands of people love Metafilter, and cortex. If you don't, the healthy response is to find something you do like elsewhere, not to sit at your computer stewing for years because everyone can't seem to see your point of view. Ask yourself if you really want to be that guy who wastes his life, sitting angry in his apartment in front of his computer over things that don't ultimately matter, or if you want to be happy. If you want to be happy, you walk away from stuff that enrages you, you don't obsess over it.
posted by Nattie at 6:07 PM on April 28, 2010 [44 favorites]

I awesomely support Jessamyn's request for a peaceful grey. A good time for a happy derail, no? I'm going to out to dinner soon too. I'm excited because it's a $35 prix fixe menu, whee! What are you all eating for dinner tonight?
posted by iamkimiam at 6:08 PM on April 28, 2010

Wait, wait, wait. You shaved ColdChef?!
posted by cgc373 at 6:09 PM on April 28, 2010 [6 favorites]

How about a game of "it It Wasn;t For Metafilter..."


If it Wasn't For MetaFilter...I would have never finished 26 Scarlett Letters.
posted by The Whelk at 6:09 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Things to do instead of reading this thread!

Watch Bill Cosby's chocolate cake bit.

Play Sushi Cat.

Listen to Unicorns Were Horses.

But separately, not all at the same time. There's no here, here.
posted by Kattullus at 6:09 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

I (OKAY HE) PAID OTHER PEOPLE TO SHAVE HIM.



WITH A STRAIGHT EDGE.
posted by The Whelk at 6:10 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

If someone wrote a post this mean-spirited about another user would it be allowed to stay?

I doubt it, but since he's a mod there's probably a Caesar's Wife thing going on.

Not that I'm suggesting Cortex is married to Mathowie, although I will just sit here for a while and enjoy that image.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 6:10 PM on April 28, 2010 [6 favorites]

"...can never use the land again."

I knew that part, it's my understanding of salt being so valuable that makes "salting the earth" seem odd. Also I lived in St. Bernard Parish LA after the storm and though it was soaked in salt water for 17 days everything grew back just fine, they said the first year after the storm that vegetables grew bigger than ever so I would assume you would have to salt the heck out of the earth to reach the desired objective.
posted by vapidave at 6:10 PM on April 28, 2010

cortex, you son of a bitch. What the hell is wrong with you?? Being banjo-licious just isn't cool, didn't you know that?? The nerve!
posted by Grlnxtdr at 6:11 PM on April 28, 2010

He's grouchier than jessamyn.

Oh that's a good one. He's occasionally more curt with people actually on the site than I am, but I assure you I am the grouchy one. If you have messed with the site in some serious fashion and are not banned, you have cortex to thank for that.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:11 PM on April 28, 2010 [11 favorites]

Also I am making a chili over a pita bread with SO MUCH PAPRIKA
posted by The Whelk at 6:11 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Wait, wait, wait. ColdChef IS STRAIGHT EDGE?
posted by cgc373 at 6:11 PM on April 28, 2010 [4 favorites]

Perhaps harold_dumbacher has come here from the Mirror Dimension, and his beef is with that cortex. The one who eats babies and everyone is afraid to criticize. I mean, I am when I am there, because he wears a bis skull codpiece.

It's intimidating....
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:12 PM on April 28, 2010

No he had it put to his neck.
posted by The Whelk at 6:12 PM on April 28, 2010

Pretty pathetic.
posted by diocletian at 6:12 PM on April 28, 2010

Hey cortex! Thanks for deleting the stuff I said about this a few nights ago in that other thread when I was drunk; I won't do it again!

Hey harold dumb-asser or whatever your name is, you should start popping into meet-ups, I'm sure everyone would LOVE LOVE LOVE to meet you in the flesh.
posted by vrakatar at 6:13 PM on April 28, 2010

To directly address the poster's question "Does ANYONE on MeFi EVER criticize cortex?" - my honest answer is "Why?"

Not as in, "Why? He never does anything wrong;" far from it. "Why?" as in, "What is possibly such a major concern that I should call him out for it?" I suppose I'm not the type to call out peoples' bad behaviour, but any time I've ever felt any annoyance at his comments it's been well below the "be a stickler and bring it up" threshold. As it is for me with most users. Who am I to say "he's just going for the joke" or "let's stay away from the obvious" when I do that too? Some guy once said something about motes and eyes that applies.

This site allows mods to be users too. They recruit from users, and the owner obviously feels comfortable with them having their own presence as users while they do their jobs. And sitting as a moderator there's way more opportunity to find points of interest in the discussion; ergo more comments. Bound to happen. Jessamyn's been a part of many threads in her areas of interest. To be expected, and smiled upon by ownership, so why worry?

Checking a few of the music-related links you posted, I noticed the following: Mostly positive comments, a few negatives, not a lot of favorites. Remembering other music posts I've seen, I recall much the same for other musicians. There definitely seems to be a default supporting vibe in the Music subsite, as there should be for people submitting personal work. There's also constructive criticism at times. Cortex submits a lot, so he gets a lot of comments. So what? It's not like his posts are crowding out or blocking other submitters, as far as this non-musician can tell.

The default for most people on this site is silence; there's only a small core of regular contributors among the 100,000 userids. The default for most regular posters is low output; FishBike's stats give more info but I seem to recall it falling somewhere within the Pareto numbers (20% of active users make up 80% of output - please correct if this is remembered wrongly). And of 3/4 of a million comments (is that for real?) you've found a bunch that grind your gears because you feel they revolve around one user. But BY FAR the vast majority of users don't give a fig what Cortex (or many other regulars) moderates/comments/posts. The numbers don't support a Cortex cult. Even if you feel they do, it ain't a beauty contest (thank Bog.) Since popularity doesn't matter in the end (except perhaps in a few people's minds) what's the real reason to dislike a frequent poster? (Not a rhetorical - really; what's the reason?)

You do have a point about "best of the web" - at times this site's posts don't really captivate me and this can last for days. Nothing for it though; you can't please everybody all the time with a site that's got user content. But MetaFilter, even on a bad day, can still make me think and reflect and laugh and even tear up more consistently than any other community I've found. And yeah, you're definitely wrong on the "community" part there Harold. For so many internet strangers to interact and produce regular good discussions, thoughtful answers, engaging cameraderie and seamlessly funny shit - that there's community.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 6:14 PM on April 28, 2010 [5 favorites]

Wait, wait, wait. You had ColdChef UP TO HIS NECK IN SHAVED STRAIGHT EDGE?
posted by cgc373 at 6:15 PM on April 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

And even more recently, I found out that Obscure Reference lives on the same block as my BF's Aunt and Essexjan is a Lady and a delight and and and

And I've got like 30 of these DELL USB extenders, 4 ports, candy colored babies to give away and wondering if anyone wants them
posted by The Whelk at 6:15 PM on April 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

This is odd.

Someone who can (improperly) link to all those threads about cortex but doesn't know that he shouldn't post to the blue with his little rant?

Sounds like a grudge by proxy to me.
posted by gaspode at 6:15 PM on April 28, 2010

cg373

it was so hot

the towel after, it was very hot
posted by The Whelk at 6:16 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

What are you all eating for dinner tonight?

I finished a gardenburger topped with avocado and on some really delicious bread. I think I'm going to eat another piece of bread. And I might have some Talisker. Or maybe the Macallan.

Tomorrow is stir fry noodle day at the cafeteria I frequently buy my lunch from. I'm already planning what tomorrow's noodely goodness will hold.
posted by zizzle at 6:17 PM on April 28, 2010

I don't understand the problem here.
posted by The Bizzaro Whelk at 6:17 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

jessamyn: " He's occasionally more curt with people actually on the site than I am, but I assure you I am the grouchy one. If you have messed with the site in some serious fashion and are not banned, you have cortex to thank for that"

All I can say is that you've both had occasion to tell me, more or less, "You're acting like a dick" - and it hurt more when he did it.
posted by Joe Beese at 6:17 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Anything I can add to the chili at the last second to make it pop? I've got an herb garden.....
posted by The Whelk at 6:18 PM on April 28, 2010

(the level of obsessive, out of proportion hatred expressed by the OP is setting off my "Gift of Fear" + "Do not mock and taunt Time Cube mentally ill internet type people" willies. I hope this will close soon.)
posted by availablelight at 6:19 PM on April 28, 2010 [10 favorites]

While I know that a hierarchy based on user numbers would be bad for Metafilter (and I would only be in the middle of the pack anyway), I really do feel like there ought to be some sort of age-limit when it comes to posting call-outs. It's not like this would be a good call-out if it came from someone with a four-digit user number, but as it is either coming from someone who has been a member for less than a month or it is coming from a user hiding behind a sock puppet, who gives a shit at all what they think about site culture and practices?
posted by Bookhouse at 6:19 PM on April 28, 2010

or..or or OR!


It can be about Chili.

Lets make it about Chili.
posted by The Whelk at 6:19 PM on April 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

The Whelk: Anything I can add to the chili at the last second to make it pop? I've got an herb garden.....

Don't promise us an herb garden...

(rosemary and basil rarely go wrong... or maybe some parsley... yeah, just throw in a bunch of parsley)
posted by Kattullus at 6:21 PM on April 28, 2010

This thread is awesome. I can't wait to write a song about it. If only I knew somebody who could record it...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:21 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with cortex.

Across the sky flashed posts from his life. For each thread he noticed two sets of favorites in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to cortex.

When the last post of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the favorites in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of favorites.

He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest MeTa callouts in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the mod about it and cortex replied: "Dude, I love you and all that, but sometimes I got banjo practice and don't have time for your shit.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:21 PM on April 28, 2010 [37 favorites]

HUG NOW
posted by The Whelk at 6:22 PM on April 28, 2010

Also I am making a chili over a pita bread with SO MUCH PAPRIKA

Can you come over to my house? I'm so f*cking sick with a cold. I had chicken soup earlier for dinner. Still hungry and no energy to cook so I had to order a *&$# pizza. Have to actually do physical labor at work tomorrow, other people and vehicles involved. Fuck.

Then I read that damn orange juice thread.

I don't think I ever whined on Metafilter before, I hope I don't do it again.
posted by marxchivist at 6:22 PM on April 28, 2010

Oh god I HAVE PARSLEY
posted by The Whelk at 6:22 PM on April 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

The Whelk, I asked Dr. Enormous what he thought, and received a groan from the depths of Diablo 2 (amazing what you find when you clean up a place!)

The man is a Chili god! A chili god, I tell you! I shall try to obtain an answer for either this evening's or future chili.
posted by zizzle at 6:22 PM on April 28, 2010

Bookhouse, as a policy thing it's probably wiser to ignore user numbers as much as possible. That way the "focus discussion on the topic at hand" and Brand New Day aspects (among others) of MetaFilter's wider policy can be maintained.
posted by cgc373 at 6:23 PM on April 28, 2010

Hey team, I'm happy this didn't turn into some sort of tar and feathering, but I have to go eat some salad and I want cortex to be able to finish his dinner so I'm going to close this up. harold_dumbacher I'm not totally sure what's going on with you, but you might want to contact mathowie or consider that you may just be under a set of misunderstandings about how this place works. You can contact me directly if you want to also, though I'm not sure what more have to add. I'll close this up now. Have a good evening/day/afternoon/night folks.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:23 PM on April 28, 2010 [11 favorites]