We're all looking at you, Brandon....

June 16, 2010 8:30 AM

My, how time flies.

To all the spousen....happy anniversary. I think.

posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies to MetaFilter-Related at 8:30 AM (307 comments total)

Brandon, that's one fuck-ton of flowers you're gonna have to buy.
posted by charred husk at 8:39 AM on June 16, 2010 [6 favorites]

I've always been curious... Did Ralph ever read the thread or find out what had happened? How did he react?

And, good for you for taking the epic spousening in good humor, by the way. :)
posted by zarq at 8:41 AM on June 16, 2010

Oh, he knew about it. He laughed with me. (He's now a member. And yes, he spoused me. Heh.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 8:44 AM on June 16, 2010

And yes, he spoused me. Heh.

TMI
posted by shakespeherian at 8:46 AM on June 16, 2010 [20 favorites]

Its BloomsDay!!
posted by infini at 8:47 AM on June 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

Happy anniversary to all my mefi spouses! (And in a couple of days, it will be my anniversary with my actual spouse. Well, one of them. One of the anniversaries, I mean.)
posted by rtha at 8:48 AM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh good let's have anniversary posts for every metatalk thread. That should be fun.
posted by Nothing... and like it at 8:49 AM on June 16, 2010

Oh my goodness. I missed this entire meme.

I love it.
posted by SLC Mom at 8:56 AM on June 16, 2010

Oh good let's have anniversary posts for every metatalk thread. That should be fun.

'Tis better to remember the fun times than the flameouts. :)
posted by zarq at 9:00 AM on June 16, 2010 [10 favorites]

Oh good let's have anniversary posts for every metatalk thread. That should be fun.

You know, sometimes it's ok to just read a thread, decide it's not your thing, and just close the tab.
posted by modernnomad at 9:00 AM on June 16, 2010 [21 favorites]

Oh good let's have anniversary posts for every metatalk thread. That should be fun.

Always a bridesmaid, huh?
posted by Bookhouse at 9:00 AM on June 16, 2010 [56 favorites]

Oh, he knew about it. He laughed with me. (He's now a member. And yes, he spoused me. Heh.)

:D
posted by zarq at 9:00 AM on June 16, 2010

my spice are teh bestest
posted by infini at 9:01 AM on June 16, 2010

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY LOVERS! I've been married to some of you for longer than I've been married to my actual husband.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:04 AM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh good let's have anniversary posts for every metatalk thread. That should be fun.

Always the acquaintance, never the spouse. But ...

Oh my goodness. I missed this entire meme.

It could become an annual thing, like a renewal of vows, and a making of new spouses! Celebrate the forthcoming summer/winter solstice [NON-HEMISPHERIST, see?], spouse a MeFite!
posted by filthy light thief at 9:06 AM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

The Great Espousenating was one of my favorite threads ever. Thanks for the reminder.

And Happy Anniversary to all my spouses !!

He's now a member.

But he decided not to go with "Ralph of the Bunnies"? :-(
posted by marsha56 at 9:07 AM on June 16, 2010

I've been married to some of you for longer than I've been married to my actual husband.

You never close your eyes anymore when I favorite your posts,
And there's no tenderness like before in your snark.
You're trying hard not to show it, (baby),
But baby, baby I know it...
posted by filthy light thief at 9:08 AM on June 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

None here. :'-/
posted by jgirl at 9:08 AM on June 16, 2010

You know, my real-life spouse never even spoused me back. Tragic.
posted by divka at 9:08 AM on June 16, 2010

None here. :'-/

How do you feel about insomniac toddlers? :)
posted by zarq at 9:10 AM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

are we allowing same sex spousening on MeFi? just curious... been eyeing Ubu for a while adn dunno if he might actually be a she and what it might all mean, in the cloud *starts counting beans*
posted by infini at 9:14 AM on June 16, 2010

are we allowing same sex spousening on MeFi?

The Spousening is Equal Opportunity. :)
posted by zarq at 9:18 AM on June 16, 2010

I would like to know at what point, and how, you went from "unacceptable" to "this is funny".
posted by DU at 9:20 AM on June 16, 2010

Since this is the paper anniversary, I think we should all get together and fold some kick ass cranes.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:21 AM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

There should be something in the FAQ about this, so new users don't get confused.

Q. Someone marked me as a "spouse." What does that mean?
A. It means... I dunno.
posted by roll truck roll at 9:21 AM on June 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

So, how has matt been keeping up with all that droit de seigneur tail that Brandon Blatcher threw his way?
posted by felix betachat at 9:22 AM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh good let's have anniversary posts for every metatalk thread. That should be fun.

Only if you promise to comment in each and every one.
posted by Sailormom at 9:22 AM on June 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

Oh good let's have anniversary posts for every metatalk thread. That should be fun.

Make them daily and you've got yourself a deal!
posted by shakespeherian at 9:28 AM on June 16, 2010

Oh good let's have anniversary posts for every metatalk thread. That should be fun.

If only your job were as fun as mine, maybe you'd be cheerier!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:30 AM on June 16, 2010 [12 favorites]

I'm not marrying any of you. I much prefer living in sin and fornicating indiscriminately.
posted by orange swan at 9:37 AM on June 16, 2010 [13 favorites]

You know, sometimes it's ok to just read a thread, decide it's not your thing, and just close the tab.

Maybe on some other website. On metafilter, snark is the soup du jour, every jour.

St. Alia. You asked about recourse last year. This year, since it's your paper anniversary, maybe you can send a cease & desist?
posted by crunchland at 9:37 AM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

If only your job were as fun as mine, maybe you'd be cheerier!

It's true! You're probably not trapped in a sick system.
posted by Nothing... and like it at 9:39 AM on June 16, 2010

Just think, in 9.8 years 50% of you will no longer be spoused.
posted by charred husk at 9:40 AM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

I would like to know at what point, and how, you went from "unacceptable" to "this is funny".

If you're referring to St. Alia of the Bunnies, my quick search for her name in the original thread turned up these three possible changes of heart:
1) WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!!!!!!
2) ...I suppose there is a moral to this story but darned if I can tell you what it is.
3) So the moral of the story / According to the Bunny / Is all IS well that ENDS well / -as long as it's funny.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:40 AM on June 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

are we allowing same sex spousening on MeFi?

It's better than that, MeFi allows directed graph marriage!
posted by FishBike at 9:44 AM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

But I don't want to marry a direct graph. Same-sex marriage is one thing; abstract concept marriage is too far.
posted by GuyZero at 9:56 AM on June 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

If only your job were as fun as mine, maybe you'd be cheerier!

I really hardly know jess but I am torn between this being perfectly sincere and bone-weathered-in-the-desert-sun dry irony.
posted by GuyZero at 9:57 AM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

I just want to marry a dog. Is that legal yet? My dad said that it would happen after the gays can marry.
posted by educatedslacker at 10:00 AM on June 16, 2010

I really hardly know jess but I am torn

Yay. It was my 10000th MeTa comment [lord help me] and I wanted to make it count.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:00 AM on June 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

I'm not sure if I should be pleased or insulted beacuse I haven't been enspouseified by BB.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 10:01 AM on June 16, 2010

I just spoused zarq.
posted by kalessin at 10:02 AM on June 16, 2010

Still not attention whoring!
posted by nicwolff at 10:09 AM on June 16, 2010

I just want to marry a dog. Is that legal yet?

If your dog has a MetaFilter account, then sure, spouse away!
posted by FishBike at 10:10 AM on June 16, 2010

Yay. It was my 10000th MeTa comment [lord help me] and I wanted to make it count.

I am honored that you chose me to taunt (mock?) with you 10000th comment. I must really count around here!


(|0|)
posted by Nothing... and like it at 10:11 AM on June 16, 2010

Hey everyone guess who I just spoused the crap out of?

HINT: This person.
posted by Mister_A at 10:12 AM on June 16, 2010

You know, sometimes it's ok to just read a thread, decide it's not your thing, and just close the tab.

But then how would we get paid?
posted by cjorgensen at 10:16 AM on June 16, 2010

Is this the thread where I demand that all you bitches take my shots?
posted by slogger at 10:20 AM on June 16, 2010

I am honored that you chose me to taunt (mock?) with you 10000th comment. I must really count around here!

I'm trying desperately to think of pun here.
posted by Lutoslawski at 10:24 AM on June 16, 2010

Hey everyone guess who I just spoused the crap out of?

Finally an inelegant turn of phrase that perfectly describes what went on at my wedding.
posted by felix betachat at 10:25 AM on June 16, 2010 [8 favorites]

Damn, Brandon, I haven't even gotten a memail.

People always forget the first wife... *sniff*
posted by Navelgazer at 10:26 AM on June 16, 2010

I would like to know at what point, and how, you went from "unacceptable" to "this is funny".

Here:

Because I can tell you, if you think having one fake spouse is bad, having thirty of them will be worse.
posted by jessamyn at 6:39 PM on June 16, 2009 [96 favorites -] [!]

Upon which, hilarity ensued.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 10:26 AM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

oh wow this thread just got me a new spouse... yay! same anniversary as the rest of MeFi
posted by infini at 10:32 AM on June 16, 2010

Zarq, I love toddlers and am also an insomniac.
posted by jgirl at 10:32 AM on June 16, 2010

I like this idea.
posted by NemesisVex at 10:37 AM on June 16, 2010

New spouses? Where are my happy days? WHERE ARE MY HAPPY DAYS
posted by shakespeherian at 10:37 AM on June 16, 2010

It's true! You're probably not trapped in a sick system.

I know it's our wedding night and all, but I'll be home late.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:40 AM on June 16, 2010

Hey...I just went to check, and I've been multiply unspoused! Shouldn't I be getting alimony or something?
posted by JoanArkham at 10:41 AM on June 16, 2010

I just want to marry a dog.
Well, hi there.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:46 AM on June 16, 2010 [18 favorites]

I'm not marrying any of you. I much prefer living in sin and fornicating indiscriminately.

Can I espouse you for like 10 minutes tonight Orange Swan? I'll do it at 3am your time. At 3:10 it'll be all over between us. You'll never know unless you delve into the logs.
posted by Danf at 10:49 AM on June 16, 2010

So, is this round two of the great spousening? Because I feel inadequately spoused. I mean, I spoused some of you all, but I get no love? I'll bake delicious food. I promise.
posted by stoneweaver at 10:50 AM on June 16, 2010

By last count, jessamyn had 42 spouses that link to her (I'm allowing that there may be more).

It's as if Sun Myung Moon presided over metafilter.
posted by plinth at 10:55 AM on June 16, 2010

I have many more muses than I do spouses. Just like in real life!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:55 AM on June 16, 2010

Still, happy spouseversary to my three or four spousey-types!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:56 AM on June 16, 2010

You'll never know unless you delve into the logs.

That's not something you hear often on a first date.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:57 AM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

must be a new euphemism
posted by infini at 10:59 AM on June 16, 2010

I was aware of the original post, but I never realized I shared an anniversary with so many mefites.
posted by chndrcks at 11:04 AM on June 16, 2010

Aw, I love the replay of all the enspousening. I stumbled across the thread too late last time.
posted by aclevername at 11:05 AM on June 16, 2010

Christ, all of you have daughter that's graduating High School today, you'd think some of ya'll could help around the house and quit sucking down alcohol for one afternoon.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:10 AM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

all of you have daughter that's graduating High School today...

Seriously, congratulations. Getting them to the great jumping-off point is no mean feat. My oldest got a driver's license in April, turned 18 in May, and graduated 2 weeks after that. I'm driving her to college in Florida in another month. I've been weepy for weeks, now.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:18 AM on June 16, 2010

When's the key party?
posted by waraw at 11:27 AM on June 16, 2010

all of you have daughter that's graduating High School today...

Don't believe her what she tells you about the after party and the nonexistence thereof!

(But, congrats. That's adorable.)
posted by Phire at 11:32 AM on June 16, 2010

jessamyn, I'm curious: How did you know that your 10000th comment was coming up? Is there a Mefi script that counts your comments so you don't have to look at your profile or whatever to figure out your comment count?
posted by misha at 11:34 AM on June 16, 2010

I would like to know at what point, and how, you went from "unacceptable" to "this is funny".

One fake spouse is a creepy stalker.

Thirty fake spouses is a bunch of drunkards trying to scam birthday cake out of a bar and grill type establishment with lots of faux nostalgia stuck to the walls with hot glue and dry wall screws.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 11:35 AM on June 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

just want to marry a dog. Is that legal yet?

You can always spouse an inanimate object! One with love on its sides! I will spouse back anyone* who spouses me!

there are exceptions and you know who you are, you cadbury-creme-egg haters.
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 11:40 AM on June 16, 2010

you mean like the lady who spoused the Berlin Wall or remnants thereof?

anyhoo, where was I? yaas, kid charlemange has the best description of MeFi spousening though I did manage to get a free beer out of a bar last weekend hah!
posted by infini at 11:44 AM on June 16, 2010

I have no opinion on the whole "spousing" thing, but I'm really hoping that I can convince all of you to add me as "Kin". That way I can legitimately refer to you all as my "extended estranged electronic family".
posted by quin at 11:45 AM on June 16, 2010

Who wouldn't want to be quinkin?
posted by shakespeherian at 11:49 AM on June 16, 2010

there are exceptions and you know who you are, you cadbury-creme-egg haters.

No, no - see, it's good to marry someone who hates something you love, because then you never have to share! You'll never get up for a Cadbury creme egg midnight snack to find that your "beloved" spouse has eaten the last one!
posted by rtha at 11:50 AM on June 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

Its BloomsDay!!

It's Hump Day, actually. Just sayin'.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:59 AM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Humps are blooming everywhere!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:01 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Those lovely lady humps?
posted by Think_Long at 12:05 PM on June 16, 2010

Is this my chance to dance the hump?
posted by kaibutsu at 12:17 PM on June 16, 2010

Usually, there's much more backlash against polyamory around here. Sluts.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:21 PM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Happy anniversary, spousen.

PS: I knew MetaFilter was the marryin' kind.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:26 PM on June 16, 2010

This is a good resolution on the internet. I'm happy to have read about all this happening. Love is grander every time I read about it.
posted by studentbaker at 12:32 PM on June 16, 2010

How can we be sluts if we're all married?

anyhow, to my spouses this year, I'm going to spouse you back. I managed to get spoused, and then I got busy, and then got nervous that I hadn't returned the spousing in time, and then thought it would be really creepy to spouse someone many months later.

(Strangely this sounds very much like my actual dating life. Hmm.)

But now I feel okay about it. Hi, newly mutual spouses.
posted by nat at 12:32 PM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Spoused, stoneweaver.

You know when you're designing a logo or something and you look at a word for long enough and it stops looking like a word, or you become convinced that it's spelled wrong? This thread has done that to the word "spouse" for me.
posted by NoraReed at 12:39 PM on June 16, 2010

How do you feel about insomniac toddlers?

Well, I've already had my lunch, but perhaps just a nibble or two. Is there any bbq sauce?
posted by elizardbits at 12:44 PM on June 16, 2010 [5 favorites]

so, what's the difference between spousen and marry?
posted by infini at 12:46 PM on June 16, 2010

Happy anniversary to all my spice!

Sadly, online - as in real life - my love for George Clooney remains unrequited.

*shakes fist at Ambrosia Voyeur*
posted by Space Kitty at 12:55 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

is that for real? am I missing out on the real hunks around here? wtf
posted by infini at 12:59 PM on June 16, 2010

> is that for real? am I missing out on the real hunks around here? wtf

Yes, it is a MeFi Verified Account (they adopted that here after it proved successful for Twitter). That is THE George Clooney.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:02 PM on June 16, 2010

Well, I've already had my lunch, but perhaps just a nibble or two. Is there any bbq sauce?

*crosses elizardbits off my "potential babysitters" list*
posted by zarq at 1:03 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I just want to marry a dog. Is that legal yet?

If your dog has a MetaFilter account, then sure, spouse away!

My gay dogs want to get married, does Metafilter cater gay dog weddings?
posted by edbles at 1:04 PM on June 16, 2010

Zarq, I love toddlers and am also an insomniac.

Sweet! :)
posted by zarq at 1:06 PM on June 16, 2010

That was a fun time in our marriage(s).
posted by jerseygirl at 1:07 PM on June 16, 2010

Well it's at least A George Clooney.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:08 PM on June 16, 2010

Yes, it is a MeFi Verified Account

*swoons*


though harrison ford in witness would do in a pinch

are the rest of us unverified trolls then?
posted by infini at 1:09 PM on June 16, 2010

Take a number
posted by The Whelk at 1:10 PM on June 16, 2010

Can we have quantum spousening? like, you and the spouse are in a superpostion of spousened and unspousened, but your spousening of them is entangled with their spousening of you.

Also, it's all fun and games until you Brandon Blatcher gets an awkward call from one of his spouses telling him he should get checked for internet herpes.
posted by qvantamon at 1:33 PM on June 16, 2010

I'm less worried about spousing and more worried about espousing.
posted by GuyZero at 2:01 PM on June 16, 2010

I just realized that I don't have pre-nups for any of my Mefi spice. Not sure whether this is worse news for them or me....
posted by dilettante at 2:07 PM on June 16, 2010

wait are we using spousen or spice?

SPOUSEN MUST FLOW
posted by NoraReed at 2:19 PM on June 16, 2010

and spice must sprinkle
posted by infini at 2:27 PM on June 16, 2010

I feel as though I should state for the record that all my internets marriages are gay marriages, regardless of the gender of each internets spouse, and woe betide the petty, homophobic, and unconstitutional propositions which attempt to render them null and void.
posted by elizardbits at 2:38 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Rude spice?
posted by the latin mouse at 2:56 PM on June 16, 2010

jessamyn, I'm curious: How did you know that your 10000th comment was coming up?

Honestly? I didn't. I check my profile sometimes for best answers and new spouses and favorites and I just noticed it, but I figured some insincere flattery might help smooth things over. It helps to be a bit of a moving target around here.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:13 PM on June 16, 2010

Thanks for the reminder that I needed to reciprocate with those who enspousened me during the previous round.

And since they enspousened me on one day, and I them on a different one, now we have two anniversaries per year.
posted by DaveP at 4:14 PM on June 16, 2010

Brandon (and of course pips) are my only spouses. I'm a Catholic married to a Jewish woman and a Black man. I'm like the Klan's worst nightmare.
posted by jonmc at 5:10 PM on June 16, 2010 [5 favorites]

Apparently, I'm Meatbomb's sibling. Hey, brother!
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:00 PM on June 16, 2010

We are all Meatbomb's brothers and sisters.
posted by The Whelk at 6:05 PM on June 16, 2010

I'm a Catholic married to a Jewish woman and a Black man. I'm like the Klan's worst nightmare. a new series on HBO starting on July 10th.
posted by The Whelk at 6:06 PM on June 16, 2010 [8 favorites]

Jessamyn, I've always had a thing for librarians.

(gets down on one knee)

I humbly offer you this call number as a token of my appreciation: PQ1528 .L8 1982

❤
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 6:26 PM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

jessamynAdmin: Honestly? I didn't. I check my profile sometimes for best answers...

OH IF ONLY.
posted by DarlingBri at 6:35 PM on June 16, 2010

The extra click, it burns?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:37 PM on June 16, 2010

Um, so do I have to remember the anniversaries of the folks I've spoused since then, or can I just celebrate that here?
posted by lysdexic at 6:38 PM on June 16, 2010

Burning clicks? Please use the Ask Me Anoyn feature.
posted by The Whelk at 6:40 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

jessamynAdmin: The extra click, it burns?

Wait, you gave me a pony and then.... you hid it from me?

Seriously, what extra click? I do not have a Best Answer count I've ever seen...
posted by DarlingBri at 7:02 PM on June 16, 2010

Metafilter: unverified trolls
posted by jeoc at 7:05 PM on June 16, 2010

I just check to see if I have any. I don't have a count either. If you look on my profile page there's a link to the old way we did the AskMe interface where it's easier to pick out recent Best Answers. Substitute your own user number.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:11 PM on June 16, 2010

a new series on HBO starting on July 10th.

I insist on being played by Brad Pitt.
posted by jonmc at 7:27 PM on June 16, 2010

Lady Gaga spoused me.
posted by IndigoRain at 7:45 PM on June 16, 2010

Brad Pitt in denim and flannel a red ballcap stacking books.

I like this. I like this alot
posted by lysdexic at 7:46 PM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

I have never been able to actually spouse somebody-- it seems too intimate somehow. I have a friend-colleague-sweetheart, a kin crush, and a neighbor-sibling-sweetheart but no actual spouses.

Nemesis would be good. As would doppleganger, X-Ray, frenemy, chum, bartender, confidant, mentor, auntie, and alter ego.

Pony Request: the ability to write in your own relationship description.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:55 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

My current ballcap is blue.
posted by jonmc at 7:58 PM on June 16, 2010

Pony Request: the ability to write in your own relationship description.

'Worthy Adversary' would be a good one.
posted by jonmc at 8:05 PM on June 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

I was laughing too hard to type during pretty much the entire Great Enspousening, but I am glad to take this opportunity to say that I love you all, even if we never actually enspousenate one another.

God, that sounds dirty. I think I like it.
posted by restless_nomad at 8:08 PM on June 16, 2010

Pony Request: the ability to write in your own relationship description.

I read that as poRny request and was immediately frightened yet intrigued.
posted by elizardbits at 8:31 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Celebrate the forthcoming summer/winter solstice"

stop the left wing war on spousemas
posted by klangklangston at 8:38 PM on June 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dear AskMe: My Metafilter spouse keeps forgetting our anniversary! Should I DTMFA?
posted by misha at 9:12 PM on June 16, 2010

I never knew how all the "spouse" thing began, and assumed it was before my time. This is awesome! I just spent twenty minutes reading and laughing.

Oh good let's have anniversary posts for every metatalk thread. That should be fun.

I refuse to believe you don't get why this is so not what is happening here. There is no way you don't recognize the "anniversary" joke.

Happy anniversary, all you MetaSpouses!
posted by tzikeh at 10:08 PM on June 16, 2010

Unicorn on the cob: "PQ1528 .L8 1982"

I'm gonna hope you did this on purpose, because that call number corresponds to an analysis of medieval French poetry on the art of love. Metalove for your metaspouse on MeTa.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 11:01 PM on June 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

I just noticed I have two "spouses". So, uh, thanks for that, I guess. It's been a great year, uh, together. Honies.
posted by davejay at 11:25 PM on June 16, 2010

wtf? meatbomb ain't my sibling
posted by infini at 11:25 PM on June 16, 2010

wtf, infini ain't my spouse
posted by Burhanistan at 11:30 PM on June 16, 2010

oh yes i am, on mefi
posted by infini at 11:50 PM on June 16, 2010

Pony Request: the ability to write in your own relationship description.

"It's Complicated"

[ducks, snickering]
posted by DaveP at 3:42 AM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

How do you feel about insomniac toddlers?

Well, I've already had my lunch, but perhaps just a nibble or two. Is there any bbq sauce?

No! Geez! Toddlers are much better served with a dry rub. Maybe a little bit of jerk seasoning...
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:44 AM on June 17, 2010

marinated overnight in tandoori spices mixed in carefully with fresh yoghurt

grated ginger and garlic to your taste
posted by infini at 4:05 AM on June 17, 2010

al pastor
posted by felix betachat at 4:45 AM on June 17, 2010

Guys we all know that everything is better with melted cheese. I don't even know why we're having this discussion.
posted by edbles at 5:25 AM on June 17, 2010

The Great Spousening is one of those things about MeFi that makes me warm and happy even though I am too shy to spouse people, but not warm in a "this is a toasty flame-out" kind of way.

Great - now I'm thinking of flame-outs as a metaphor for wild Beltane bonfire sex.
posted by catlet at 5:40 AM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Ah, but you want to be careful, edbles. The delicate flavor of free-range toddler is easily overwhelmed by your sharp cheddar or robust blue cheeses.
posted by EvaDestruction at 5:40 AM on June 17, 2010

Tandoori MeTa: wild Beltane bonfire sex.
posted by infini at 5:42 AM on June 17, 2010

jessamyn: "The extra click, it burns?"

No no no, it's "The extra click, it vibrates."
posted by kalessin at 5:44 AM on June 17, 2010

self ftfm: midsummer, not beltane
posted by infini at 7:22 AM on June 17, 2010

Toddler Curry Empanadas

Ingredients
1/2 cup raisins
1/3 cup rum
3/4 cup Greek yogurt
4 tablespoons Curry Oil, recipe follows
1 cup onions
1 teaspoon diced, seeded jalapeno pepper
1 teaspoon minced ginger
1/2 pound 80/20 ground toddler
1/2 teaspoon white pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro leaves
2 teaspoons chopped mint leaves
4 tablespoons pine nuts, roasted
Dough, recipe follows

Directions
Add raisins to rum; set aside. Let marinate for 10 minutes. Add half the raisins and 1 tablespoon of the curry oil to the Greek yogurt. Mix and set aside for 1 hour.

In a medium saute pan, heat the remaining 3 tablespoons oil. Add onions, jalapeno, ginger, and toddler; cook until toddler is cooked through.

To the toddler mixture, add all the other ingredients, along with the remaining rum-soaked raisins. Remove from heat and let cool.

On a floured cutting board, roll out dough to 1/8-inch. Cut out 5-inch diameter disks.

Add one tablespoon toddler mixture to each disk of dough. Fold dough over and seal edges firmly with thumb. Repeat process.

Place on parchment lined cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees F for 25 minutes or until golden brown.

Curry Oil:
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup curry powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 tablespoons turmeric
3 whole cloves
2 whole red chiles, crushed
Bring entire mixture to simmer for 2 minutes. Strain and let cool.

Dough:
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon sugar
8 tablespoons shortening
1/4 cup water
2 eggs
In a large bowl, mix together flour, salt and sugar. Add shortening into flour and mix until crumbled, then mix in water and eggs.

Knead for 10 minutes, then cover with plastic wrap and chill for 30 minutes before rolling out.


Someone else's toddlers, of course.
posted by zarq at 7:36 AM on June 17, 2010

Dear Child Protective Services: I'm JOKING. Here, have some hamburger.

Why are you looking at me like that?
posted by zarq at 7:38 AM on June 17, 2010

Ah, but you want to be careful, edbles. The delicate flavor of free-range toddler is easily overwhelmed by your sharp cheddar or robust blue cheeses.

I do find they work quite well on the store bought frozen toddlers, when it's one of those weeks I can't get down to the farmers market and talk to the friendly hippies there.
posted by edbles at 7:57 AM on June 17, 2010

Tandoori MeTa: wild Beltane bonfire sex.

I could go for some MeTa Chapati....
posted by zarq at 8:04 AM on June 17, 2010

Oh, zarq, they sound really good! You are in DC, too, aren't you?
posted by jgirl at 8:59 AM on June 17, 2010

*sigh*

None of my spouses cook for me.

That reminds me, I forgot to tell my boyfriend about you.
posted by zennie at 9:05 AM on June 17, 2010

Nope, I'm a New Yorker. :)
posted by zarq at 9:11 AM on June 17, 2010

jessamynAdmin: If you look on my profile page there's a link to the old way we did the AskMe interface where it's easier to pick out recent Best Answers. Substitute your own user number

That's very handy and I did not know that was there. Yay!

This is more like I asked for a pony and you already had a rocking horse hidden in the shed to give me for Christmas, but it will assuage my pony cravings in the short term.

Thanks, Santamyn!
posted by DarlingBri at 9:17 AM on June 17, 2010

i'm wondering if my status is still "taken" after all this rampant spousening
posted by infini at 9:19 AM on June 17, 2010

I'm wicked sad that I don't have time in my imminent NYC airport connection fiasco adventure to stop by and eat some toddler empanadas. They sound amazing.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:29 AM on June 17, 2010

PS: When planning a trip with your *real* spouses (or "life partners"), make sure that when you connect flights that the arriving and departing airports MATCH.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:31 AM on June 17, 2010

Nope, I'm a New Yorker. :)

Oh, a short train trip away. And on the way to my Upstate roots!
posted by jgirl at 11:24 AM on June 17, 2010

Oh, a short train trip away. And on the way to my Upstate roots!

Cool!
posted by zarq at 11:26 AM on June 17, 2010

These threads ALWAYS devolve into recipes.....
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:14 PM on June 17, 2010

De-volve? Au contraire.
posted by Devils Rancher at 12:19 PM on June 17, 2010

always?

btw, thanks for the curry oil recipe ...
posted by infini at 12:32 PM on June 17, 2010

l33tpolicywonk, it WAS on purpose. I have mad book and Google-fu.

And now you're part of the fam :)
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 1:00 PM on June 17, 2010

I really want to favourite that recipe but I feel like it will somehow come back to haunt me.
posted by elizardbits at 1:07 PM on June 17, 2010

I should tear myself away from zarq and the twins and greet my other new spouses!

What do you guys cook?
posted by jgirl at 1:27 PM on June 17, 2010

Dear Spousen,

Please excuse my lack of attention yesterday. I was beaten and sucked dry by that marvelous film, 'Splice' and just had nothing left to give.

Not that I likely would have bothered anyway.

X O X <3> -AG
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:32 PM on June 17, 2010

Also, I would think teenager would be better suited to a jerk recipe.
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:34 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

I really want to favourite that recipe but I feel like it will somehow come back to haunt me.

Feel free to bookmark the original, then. :D


Lamb. Toddlers. Same Difference. :D
posted by zarq at 3:48 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

I work in a used bookstore. My buddy Liam was fixing the cooking section the other day and we joked about doing a parody of lush photo cookbooks, with the twist that the book was full of recipes for cannibals. The idea kinda stalled when the only one we could come up with was 'Englishman on an English Muffin.'
posted by jonmc at 5:20 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Lamb. Toddlers. Same Difference. :D

Both cute!
posted by jgirl at 5:20 PM on June 17, 2010

A few years ago, I toyed with the idea of opening a restaurant that featured only 'baby' food and I don't mean Gerbers. It's have lamb and suckling pig and baby carrots and veal and like that.

It'd be in SoHo and it'd be called 'Infanticide.' Crazy thing is, I bet that for a week or so at least, it'd be trendy.
posted by jonmc at 5:27 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

jonmc, the webcomic Templar Az. has the popular restraint Xenophage where the only serve morally reprehensible food.
posted by The Whelk at 5:58 PM on June 17, 2010

BABBY CARROTS IS MURDER!
posted by qvantamon at 6:11 PM on June 17, 2010

restaurant and "they" should be that last comment. I gotta get a new keyboard/brain.
posted by The Whelk at 6:20 PM on June 17, 2010

Right. I did it. I spoused someone. It won't be an overly intimate relationship, however, because he has 0 contacts. That's OK. I've always liked the strong, silent type.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:50 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

That's a comic, dude. I say we do it for real and get rich. or something.
posted by jonmc at 6:51 PM on June 17, 2010

The puppies roast in human breastmilk may be difficult.
posted by The Whelk at 6:55 PM on June 17, 2010

Dude, it's New York City, we're up to our ass in stray dogs and titties.
posted by jonmc at 6:56 PM on June 17, 2010

The puppies roast in human breastmilk may be difficult.

Gonna be hard to get kosher cerification with that one.
posted by zarq at 7:59 PM on June 17, 2010

I think that's rather the point.
posted by The Whelk at 8:34 PM on June 17, 2010

jonmc: Kickstarter or BS.
posted by edbles at 5:34 AM on June 18, 2010

is this food or spice we're talking about now?
posted by infini at 5:57 AM on June 18, 2010

Condiments.
posted by zarq at 6:39 AM on June 18, 2010

saucy
posted by infini at 8:08 AM on June 18, 2010

Do I dare bring up my recipe for barbecue sauce?
posted by lysdexic at 9:36 AM on June 22, 2010

do I dare to eat a peach?


yes, of course, peaches are great. What's wrong with you?
posted by The Whelk at 9:43 AM on June 22, 2010

hush Whelk, you're intimidating the recipes
posted by infini at 10:28 AM on June 22, 2010

No True Scots- recipe would be intimidated.
posted by edbles at 11:40 AM on June 22, 2010

I'm wondering if we could capture all the recipes in the GRAR threads into one of those cute recipe card boxes for loquacious?
posted by infini at 12:47 PM on June 22, 2010

wait, MetaFilter could just publish the book and get a fat contract instead that could be put into a general mefi fund?
posted by infini at 12:48 PM on June 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Do I dare bring up my recipe for barbecue sauce?

Bring it!
posted by rtha at 12:58 PM on June 22, 2010

1 can enchilada sauce - about 17 oz
1/2 of that can of ketchup - about 8.5 oz

posted by lysdexic at 3:21 PM on June 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

How do you feel about insomniac toddlers?

Well, Christ. I can't spouse a toddler. That's totally illegal.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 6:36 AM on June 26, 2010

I only spoused one person during the whole hoopla and now looking at it, it kind of looks weird.

Anyone want a new spouse?
posted by ukdanae at 11:21 AM on June 26, 2010

*opens the door ala the Pure Imagination Scene in Willy Wonka*

Come inside...you will see...a world of Pure enspousenation
posted by The Whelk at 11:25 AM on June 26, 2010

A whole year? I've already done better by my six spouses than Henry VIII did by some of his.

Hey spousen! Stick with me and no one gets beheaded! Yeah!
posted by Pallas Athena at 1:26 PM on June 26, 2010

does Metafilter cater gay dog weddings?

Word of advice: whether the union is gay or straight, don't eat dog wedding cake.
posted by zippy at 9:00 PM on June 26, 2010

I missed the whole spousening because I was entertaining a houseguest from overseas.

I would like to spouse you all today, but I'm booked solid with classes to teach today at work, and no Internet at home.

So let's just have one sided spousing? And maybe I'll reciprocate eventually?

(that sounds like a premise for an ask me.)
posted by bilabial at 7:01 AM on June 27, 2010

How do you feel about insomniac toddlers?

Well, Christ. I can't spouse a toddler. That's totally illegal

They love brussels sprouts, though. ;)
posted by zarq at 7:02 AM on June 27, 2010

Who doesn't love brussels sprouts? They're God's gift to the vegetable kingdom.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 8:24 AM on June 27, 2010

Brussels sprouts fucking rock and I will fight anyone who says different. Sauté them with a bit of butter, salt and pepper and it's heaven and if you think different, you are a bad person who was raised wrong and when the rapture comes, I will laugh as you're thrown into the burning lake of eggplant parmesan, the most foulest food ever conceived and a sure sign that Satan is truly evil.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:35 AM on June 27, 2010

I'm *so* glad we're spousened BB, I agree completely dear
posted by infini at 9:09 AM on June 27, 2010

Sautéed brussels sprouts are delicious, and roasted brussels sprouts (toss with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and a bit of salt and pepper, roast at 400 degrees for about 40 minutes) are amazing -- salty and crispy on the outside, sweet and tender on the inside. I've brought more than one person around to the wonders of brussels sprouts that way.
posted by EvaDestruction at 9:32 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

wait, people eat brussels spouts ANOTHER way? how? Boiling them until they're paste and then using them a cheap wallpaper paste? Is that why people don't like them, cause they where raised WRONG?
posted by The Whelk at 9:35 AM on June 27, 2010

If I wanted something green that tasted of dirt I'd eat some fiddleheads, thank you very much. At least they're not Belgian.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:41 AM on June 27, 2010

If I wanted something green that tasted of dirt...

What part of salt and pepper and butter are you not getting?! Where does dirt taste like those things? 'cause I want to go there.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:43 AM on June 27, 2010

If I can't get fresh ones I'll steam frozen baby ones in the microwave, covered with a tablespoon of water, for about two mins on high or until tender, sprinkle some salt and yummy :)
posted by infini at 10:39 AM on June 27, 2010

(just pondering as an aside, but is there no thread in the grey that *doesn't* disintegrate into recipe exchanges? is that a sign of MeFiLove?)
posted by infini at 10:40 AM on June 27, 2010

EvaDestruction: "Sautéed brussels sprouts are delicious, and roasted brussels sprouts (toss with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and a bit of salt and pepper, roast at 400 degrees for about 40 minutes) are amazing -- salty and crispy on the outside, sweet and tender on the inside. I've brought more than one person around to the wonders of brussels sprouts that way."

Ok, doesn't that kill the evil flavor of the brussel sprout? 'Cause if it does, I can get behind that.

infini: "(just pondering as an aside, but is there no thread in the grey that *doesn't* disintegrate into recipe exchanges? is that a sign of MeFiLove?)"

It's either that or



ALPHABET THREAD
posted by lysdexic at 12:42 PM on June 28, 2010

BONOBO threads are better.
posted by edbles at 1:02 PM on June 28, 2010

Can't you see we're talking about brussels sprouts?
posted by rtha at 1:06 PM on June 28, 2010

Don't make me mention the Longboat I bought. Cause I did. And I will.
posted by The Whelk at 1:11 PM on June 28, 2010

Zorro wept.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:12 PM on June 28, 2010

You think you can just go out and buy a longboat? What kind of cheap knock-off longboat is that? Is it a kiddie longboat? With inflatable oars? I scoff at your "bought" longboat.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:21 PM on June 28, 2010

it is a SYMBOL of a longboat. an EXAMPLE of one. An ICON a TOTEM a RITUALISTIC OBJECT.
posted by The Whelk at 1:24 PM on June 28, 2010

There really can only be one true longboat.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:27 PM on June 28, 2010

The Black Freighter, with a skull on it's masthead...asking, ban them now or later?
posted by The Whelk at 1:32 PM on June 28, 2010

Unless there are rational objections, I quite like the idea of an Alphabet thread.
posted by Phire at 1:36 PM on June 28, 2010

Verily, lysdexic, roasting the sprouts of Brussels doth render them palatable to those who lack the tongue for bitterness.

Which does not describe me, but still, roasted sprouts are delicious.
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:51 PM on June 28, 2010

Where are we in the alphabet now?
posted by rtha at 2:51 PM on June 28, 2010

X-tra Crispy Brussels Sprouts! (Or, as I used to call them as a child "Russel Pouts.")
posted by zarq at 3:31 PM on June 28, 2010

ZOUNDS! THE LONGBOAT!
posted by The Whelk at 3:55 PM on June 28, 2010

Affirmatively, that is the smallest longboat I have ever seen.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:09 PM on June 28, 2010

Brussels Sprouts
posted by zarq at 4:26 PM on June 28, 2010

Can't we talk about any other vegetables? Does Nanocabbage get no love??
posted by Phire at 4:42 PM on June 28, 2010

Hey now I'm still in ICeland, the Land vegetables Forgot, not that they don't TRY but really, it's just...no'


Best fish I ever had tho. Also, Puffins! Adorable AND Delicious!
posted by The Whelk at 4:54 PM on June 28, 2010

If you spouse me, I'll be your spicy lover.
posted by lover at 5:26 PM on June 28, 2010

Just a minute, did we skip like four letters of the alphabet?

Oh well, ONWARD.
posted by Phire at 8:33 PM on June 28, 2010

Kría is a beautiful Icelandic bird, but you can't eat it.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:08 AM on June 29, 2010

Love 'em or hate 'em. brussel sprouts do generate conversation.
posted by lysdexic at 7:14 AM on June 29, 2010

How do you feel about avocados?
posted by infini at 7:19 AM on June 29, 2010

Make that "mmm avocados" (slow today, didn't notice alphabet progression)
posted by infini at 7:21 AM on June 29, 2010

Narwhals love avocados. They spear them with their tusk.
posted by box at 7:50 AM on June 29, 2010

Oh, the noble avacado. Most delicious in the form of guacamole. Especially on a burrito: the most perfect of the foods.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:05 AM on June 29, 2010

Perhaps the pit is too large, lessening my enjoyment per cubic volume.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:14 AM on June 29, 2010

Queso. I could really go for some right now.
posted by zarq at 9:15 AM on June 29, 2010

Really, queso sounds delicious. And a burrito. But alas, I'm at work and the babysitter never gets to eat. (I've attempted lunch and been interrupted four times now.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:17 AM on June 29, 2010

Seriously, how old is this kid? Does she not understand the importance of burritos?
posted by shakespeherian at 9:20 AM on June 29, 2010

Truly, you need to buy TWO or THREE burritos and share them. :D
posted by zarq at 9:22 AM on June 29, 2010

Unfortunately small boys aren't paying attention to the importance of burritos, and insist on the supremacy of hot dogs. (There are two of them. Boys. They're 5 and 2. And in their minds, the service in this establishment is abominable.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:24 AM on June 29, 2010

Vuvuzela the fuck out of them. Then get a burrito.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:26 AM on June 29, 2010

Word. That's the best plan I've heard all day.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:26 AM on June 29, 2010

X-rated vuvuzela movie cottage industry fluffers sure get a workout.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:31 AM on June 29, 2010

You know, because of all of the blowing.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:36 AM on June 29, 2010

Zamboni times infinity. Now you must not do this again until 2011.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:36 AM on June 29, 2010

Aw, shucks!
posted by Sys Rq at 9:40 AM on June 29, 2010

Butts, lol.
posted by The Whelk at 9:40 AM on June 29, 2010

Can't help you there. Yesterday, my kids asked for specific foods, then pushed their plates away and pronounced it "yuck, dada. yuck."
posted by zarq at 9:42 AM on June 29, 2010

C'mon really Butts? This isn't fark, people.
posted by edbles at 9:44 AM on June 29, 2010

Didn't you glad I aren't say banana?
posted by Sys Rq at 9:44 AM on June 29, 2010

Enough with the butt-hate.
posted by The Whelk at 9:44 AM on June 29, 2010

For Pete's sake. There is a time and a place for butt jokes.
posted by edbles at 9:45 AM on June 29, 2010

Germane to the discussion, I think. I spouse big butts.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:48 AM on June 29, 2010

How could I lie?
posted by The Whelk at 9:50 AM on June 29, 2010

I, too, enjoy large buttockses, and am not wont to deceive with regard to that fact.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:53 AM on June 29, 2010

Jonathan Coulton likes them too.
posted by zarq at 10:06 AM on June 29, 2010

Konolia would have liked this thread.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 10:41 AM on June 29, 2010

LOVE LOVE LOVE!
posted by The Whelk at 10:43 AM on June 29, 2010

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm (LOL1994)
posted by Sys Rq at 10:46 AM on June 29, 2010

Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na
posted by shakespeherian at 10:51 AM on June 29, 2010

O-o-h
posted by Sys Rq at 10:58 AM on June 29, 2010

Preview, I hope preview helps me stay in place
posted by infini at 11:01 AM on June 29, 2010

Queen such a Queen!
posted by The Whelk at 11:05 AM on June 29, 2010

Ramboni Macaroni
posted by not_on_display at 11:50 AM on June 29, 2010

Sweet Caroline
posted by zarq at 12:18 PM on June 29, 2010

Three Coins In A Fountain
posted by The Whelk at 12:24 PM on June 29, 2010

U.N.C.L.E.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:34 PM on June 29, 2010

Vikingman
posted by EvaDestruction at 12:52 PM on June 29, 2010

What the fuck is wrong with you?
posted by qvantamon at 1:21 PM on June 29, 2010

Xylophone solo!
posted by Sys Rq at 1:24 PM on June 29, 2010

ZarQ has a "Q" at the end. Not a "G." Just mentioning this because every once in a while someone will say "Zarg" and I must admit I think it looks a little weird. As if my screen name sounds like a person gargling or something. I suppose it's better than "Zerg" though. :D
posted by zarq at 2:14 PM on June 29, 2010

Are you sure about that? "Zerg" is kind of cute.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 2:29 PM on June 29, 2010

But wait! What happened to Y?
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 2:30 PM on June 29, 2010

Crap. I fail at the alphabet. Meanwhile, I only sing it to my kids every freakin' day....
posted by zarq at 2:33 PM on June 29, 2010

Don't worry. I think Xylophone was a 2-hit combo.
posted by qvantamon at 2:49 PM on June 29, 2010

Exactly right, qvantamon. And zarq, your eagerness to get to Z is not without precedent. I am entertained that even absent active sabotage,we haven't yet successfully completed a full run of the alphabet.
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:56 PM on June 29, 2010

Fear not! We'll get there someday.
posted by stoneweaver at 3:34 PM on June 29, 2010

Gotta love people who keep hope alive.
posted by Night_owl at 3:36 PM on June 29, 2010

.....have to?
posted by not_on_display at 4:01 PM on June 29, 2010

I am the very model of a modern MeFite after all,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern MeFite after all!

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern MeFite after all.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a Javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—
You'll say a better Mefite has never sat a gee.

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern MeFite after all!
posted by zarq at 4:15 PM on June 29, 2010

Jeez. I suppose now I have to apologize to Gilbert and Sullivan.
posted by zarq at 4:16 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

Know your limit, zerg.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:17 PM on June 29, 2010

Limit? HA! PLEASE.
posted by zarq at 4:26 PM on June 29, 2010

MEEEEeeeeehhhhhh!!!!
posted by not_on_display at 5:55 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

Noooooo, CAT PANTS HURTS!!!
posted by not_on_display at 9:06 PM on June 29, 2010

Okay, people. Let's get serious, here.
posted by EvaDestruction at 9:09 AM on June 30, 2010

People? What are you, ANIMALS-IST?

[NOT ANIMALS-IST-IST]
posted by Night_owl at 9:41 AM on June 30, 2010

Quite not, I should say. Animals FTW!
posted by stoneweaver at 10:33 AM on June 30, 2010

Right-o, then.
posted by Night_owl at 12:30 PM on June 30, 2010

Seems like this thread is running out of steam.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 2:21 PM on June 30, 2010

True, but not as badly as the other alphabet thread.
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:30 PM on June 30, 2010

Understandably.
posted by box at 2:41 PM on June 30, 2010

Vuvuzela Protest Planned Against BP
posted by zarq at 4:11 PM on June 30, 2010

What could be more awesome? Kittens Solve The Vuvuzela World Cup Controversy in 1 Minute.
posted by stoneweaver at 4:42 PM on June 30, 2010

X_x
posted by not_on_display at 5:14 PM on June 30, 2010

y_y
posted by The Whelk at 6:57 PM on June 30, 2010

( - o- ) z z z z z
posted by The Whelk at 6:58 PM on June 30, 2010

&_&
posted by box at 7:29 PM on June 30, 2010

x_O O_x
posted by The Whelk at 7:32 PM on June 30, 2010

¡ǝsɹǝʌǝɹ
posted by not_on_display at 7:32 PM on June 30, 2010

ɹǝsnoıɹnɔ puɐ ɹǝsnoıɹnɔ
posted by The Whelk at 7:40 PM on June 30, 2010

Kurious Oranj
posted by Burhanistan at 8:20 PM on June 30, 2010

"they rode slipshod over all you dumbshits"
posted by Burhanistan at 8:21 PM on June 30, 2010

Splish Splash I was takin' a bath!
posted by not_on_display at 10:24 PM on June 30, 2010

Splish splash, I was rakin' in the cash!
posted by Burhanistan at 10:32 PM on June 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

sexin' in the cash
posted by The Whelk at 6:30 AM on July 1, 2010

Cash in the Quentin
posted by not_on_display at 9:44 AM on July 1, 2010