Askmefi response to a post about pet grief?

June 25, 2010 7:38 AM

There was a question asked within the last year (I think) that was something like 'Why do people have pets if they know they are going to die before they do? How can they handle the grief?" There was a response post to the question explaining that love for a pet was unique in that you go into the relationship knowing that, most likely, you will outlive the pet and that therefore this is a noble kind of love etc. etc.

I can't find this exact comment and I'd like to. I've searched through the archives but just can't seem to find it. Note that I did find this comment while searching which expresses the same sort of sentiment, though it is in response to a different question.

Thanks all.

posted by lucy.jakobs to MetaFilter-Related at 7:38 AM (16 comments total)

Could it have been from this thread? Famous Monster mentioned pets in his/her response.
posted by punchtothehead at 8:12 AM on June 25, 2010

Hm. It wasn't that comment. I'm almost certain the post was specifically about grieving due to the loss of a pet. Thanks for trying, though.
posted by lucy.jakobs at 8:32 AM on June 25, 2010

It sounds like delete-worthy chatfilter, which is probably why you can't find it.

Also, FWIW, it sounds a lot like Why do people become ____________?, which is, well, indicative.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:07 AM on June 25, 2010

I just had to give someone 3 weeks off because the loss of their pet completely devastated them, and they where near useless at work.
posted by edgeways at 9:14 AM on June 25, 2010

Possible
posted by nineRED at 9:16 AM on June 25, 2010

Something here?
posted by cass at 9:20 AM on June 25, 2010

Or here?
posted by cass at 9:23 AM on June 25, 2010

I just had to give someone 3 weeks off because the loss of their pet completely devastated them, and they where near useless at work.

Where I work you get two or three days off if it was your spouse or kid. Maybe parent. Anything else and you need to take vacation time.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:40 AM on June 25, 2010

Wow, parental love is totally fucked up in the exact opposite way.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 9:41 AM on June 25, 2010

I just had to give someone 3 weeks off because the loss of their pet completely devastated them, and they where near useless at work.

Where I work you get two or three days off if it was your spouse or kid. Maybe parent. Anything else and you need to take vacation time.

1/2 of it was vacation and 1/2 sick time. It was one of those instances where while I had a hard time empathizing with the level of grief, I had to take a step back and recognize that in the end grief is grief no matter the source, and if someone is incapacitated by it they deserve some space. The employee's history makes a difference as well, if it had been a new hire I, honestly, probably would have been a lot less understanding, but this was a ~10 year employee who has taken very little sick time.
posted by edgeways at 9:53 AM on June 25, 2010 [14 favorites]

"...while I had a hard time empathizing with the level of grief, I had to take a step back and recognize that in the end grief is grief no matter the source, and if someone is incapacitated by it they deserve some space."

That's awfully kind of you, edgeways. Good on you.
posted by HopperFan at 10:03 AM on June 25, 2010 [5 favorites]

None of these are it, but thanks for all the help anyways.
posted by lucy.jakobs at 4:48 PM on June 25, 2010

Is it this? The question is totally different, but the answer sounds like what you described.
posted by donnagirl at 7:56 PM on June 25, 2010

That is the same comment I linked to in my post--it is the same sentiment, but not the exact comment I was looking for. Thanks. Perhaps I'm making this up or misremembering something.
posted by lucy.jakobs at 9:47 PM on June 25, 2010

Aw crap, I knew it seemed familiar.
posted by donnagirl at 10:07 PM on June 25, 2010

I didn't see it in these threads, but recently there was a post about a family talking about why did their dog have to die, and the little boy said "I know why." The family turned to him and he explained "well, humans are here to learn to love unconditionally, right? Well, the dog already knows how to do that so he didn't have to stay as long."

I have also recently seen a post somewhere (I'm not even sure it was on Mefi) that explained that having to do things for a pet (feed it, let it out to go to the bathroom, clean it) is what makes you love it... the fact that it can't take care of itself, just like a baby.
posted by IndigoRain at 12:21 AM on June 26, 2010 [2 favorites]