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Dear Askme, my cat is wedged in my scanner.
July 14, 2010 6:18 PM   Subscribe

You'd think, after eleven years, we'd have finally figured out how these people got their cats wedged into their scanners, or why. But anyway, Happy Birthday, MeFi!
posted by not_on_display to MetaFilter-Related at 6:18 PM (120 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

Coincidence? Or cosmic consciousness?
posted by shii at 6:22 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF METAFILTERING. AGE OF METAFILTERING!
posted by The Whelk at 6:23 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I always blame The Whelk for everything. So: neither coincidence nor cosmic consciousness. It's the Whelk's fault.
posted by not_on_display at 6:23 PM on July 14, 2010


so fast they grow up, so fast *furtively wipes away tear*
posted by Kattullus at 6:23 PM on July 14, 2010


My plan was sheer elegance in it's simplicity.
posted by The Whelk at 6:24 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


It's the Whelk's fault.

Did he mefimail you too?
posted by The Devil Tesla at 6:26 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Metafilter really is one of the biggest ongoing, dependable joys in my life. Thanks to Matt, and all the mods, and everyone (including me) who makes it so awesome.

Also, I've started referring to the date I joined as my Metaversary. If you think this is a good word you can send me a nickel every time you use it. If you don't you can send me a dime.
posted by Tomorrowful at 6:26 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


note ot self, never have an idea and then include multiple people.


is there a glug glug HTML code?
posted by The Whelk at 6:27 PM on July 14, 2010


"Did he mefimail you too"
posted by The Devil Tesla

Yes, he did... but I'll blame him for anything anyway.
posted by not_on_display at 6:27 PM on July 14, 2010


Is it too early to start up the "Metafilter is legal" countdown clock?
posted by bondcliff at 6:28 PM on July 14, 2010


Is it too early to start up the "Metafilter is legal" countdown clock?

Metafilter is already legal in some states, though only for medicinal purposes.
posted by Tomorrowful at 6:29 PM on July 14, 2010


anyone know a good Hemlock cocktail?
posted by The Whelk at 6:29 PM on July 14, 2010


bondcliff: "Is it too early to start up the "Metafilter is legal" countdown clock"

Metafilter? I'd hit it.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:30 PM on July 14, 2010 [5 favorites]


This is like the third of fourth time in recent weeks that people have made eerily similar double posts like this, literally simultaneously. Either the Cabal is losing its touch and we're seeing sloppy manifestations of their machinations, or the Collective mind meld is close at hand, and the internet is becoming sentient.
posted by crunchland at 6:30 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is like the third of fourth time in recent weeks that people have made eerily similar double posts like this, literally simultaneously. Either the Cabal is losing its touch and we're seeing sloppy manifestations of their machinations, or the Collective mind meld is close at hand, and the internet is becoming sentient.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:33 PM on July 14, 2010 [14 favorites]


Get out of my head, donut man.
posted by crunchland at 6:34 PM on July 14, 2010 [6 favorites]


When the mooooods are in the second house.....
posted by The Whelk at 6:34 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is like the third of fourth time in recent weeks that people have made eerily similar double posts like this, literally simultaneously. Either the Cabal is losing its touch and we're seeing sloppy manifestations of their machinations, or the Collective mind meld is close at hand, and the internet is becoming sentient.

My money's on thread synchronization issues now that the Cabal's gone multi-core.
posted by FishBike at 6:34 PM on July 14, 2010


Pfft. Moods can't even afford a first house.
posted by crunchland at 6:35 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


OMG, MeFi's a tween!

JA JA! TEAM JACOB!
posted by carsonb at 6:41 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I am on Team Internets.
posted by The Whelk at 6:43 PM on July 14, 2010


8:18pm. Nevar forget.
posted by ColdChef at 6:46 PM on July 14, 2010


I was having a really bad day, but this made it better. Happy b-day, MeFi!
posted by Afroblanco at 7:01 PM on July 14, 2010


HAPPY BAD DAY AFROBLANCO
posted by The Whelk at 7:05 PM on July 14, 2010


Now that MetaFilter is 11, how's the orthodontia fund looking? Have we saved enough to get it some braces, or is it just going to have to live with that heinous overbite?

(Or maybe that was just me at 11.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:06 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


So, this site, it goes to 11?

So far the size of this post tends to understate the hugeness of the event.
posted by empyrean at 7:12 PM on July 14, 2010


8:18pm. Nevar forget.

Now I'm going to have to make sure that I post this at exactly the same time next year, or maybe at 5:03 PM CST
posted by The Devil Tesla at 7:14 PM on July 14, 2010


As the person posting in this thread with the LOWEST USER NUMBER, THAT'S RIGHT NOOBZ, let me say happy birthday and many happy returns. Metafilter has kept me alive and almost sane for a third of my life now.
posted by Jimbob at 7:15 PM on July 14, 2010


Coincidence? Or cosmic consciousness?

Just the other day, I received this as my Word of the Day:

mephitic

PRONUNCIATION: (muh-FIT-ik)

MEANING: adjective: Poisonous or foul-smelling.

ETYMOLOGY: From Latin mephitis (foul smell).

USAGE: "Jack Black is a sterling example of the actor who starts out seeming like a breath of fresh air, and then turns into something stale, fetid, mephitic, nauseating."
Joe Queenan; Do You Remember When Jack Black Was Funny?; The Guardian (London, UK); Oct 9, 2009.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:16 PM on July 14, 2010


11 to 12 is full of hormones.
This will be an interesting year.
Happy Birthday!
posted by bru at 7:19 PM on July 14, 2010


This is like the third of fourth time in recent weeks that people have made eerily similar double posts like this, literally simultaneously. Either the Cabal is losing its touch and we're seeing sloppy manifestations of their machinations, or the Collective mind meld is close at hand, and the internet is becoming sentient.

I think the deal is that some arcane internet spells require simultaneous double postings to MeFi and MeTa.
posted by A dead Quaker at 7:22 PM on July 14, 2010


YAAAAY!
posted by joedan at 7:23 PM on July 14, 2010


I call dibs on reposting the mushroom post!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:24 PM on July 14, 2010


MetaFilter
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:24 PM on July 14, 2010


PRONUNCIATION: (muh-FEYE-tik)

FTFY.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:33 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


This is the longest relationship I've ever had.
posted by amro at 7:34 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


Let's enjoy being 11 while it lasts. One more year and we'll be hormonal, angsty, and eyerolling our elders.
posted by amyms at 7:42 PM on July 14, 2010


Soon Metafilter will be a Woman.

Or Man.

I'm not sure how this works.
posted by The Whelk at 7:43 PM on July 14, 2010


Let's enjoy being 11 while it lasts. One more year and we'll be hormonal, angsty, and eyerolling our elders.

I think we're precocious.
posted by amro at 7:47 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


In honor of the occasion, I would like to share one of my favorite threads. Maybe not the most meaningful, touching, or hilarious, but this one amused the hell out of me on a very boring day, and spawned one of my all-time favorite usernames.

Here's to many more, MeFi!
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:48 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


There is no cabal™.
posted by norm at 7:49 PM on July 14, 2010


Wrong! On MetaFilter's birthday there is. It's like a Saturnalia, but only for Us. Now bring Us single malt and prestige courtesans, and hurry - We only have all day.
posted by the Cabal at 7:54 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Was it ever explained what happened to posts 1 through 18? Or is that sort of like the people who tested Preparations A through G - best not to ask?
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 7:56 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


iWrong! On MetaFilter's birthday there is. It's like a Saturnalia, but only for Us. Now bring Us single malt and prestige courtesans, and hurry - We only have all day.

LO LO BACCHUS and HELLo what's YOUR NAME?
posted by The Whelk at 7:57 PM on July 14, 2010


*guzzle*
posted by The Whelk at 7:58 PM on July 14, 2010


TheWhelk, you did NOT MeFiMail ME.

*pouts*
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:58 PM on July 14, 2010


Well, I guess it's all reruns from here on out, then?
posted by Salvor Hardin at 7:58 PM on July 14, 2010


Man, good times.
posted by Nabubrush at 8:00 PM on July 14, 2010


good times.

*pours a 40 old for amberglow, dances in the parking lot to echo and the bunnymen*
posted by The Whelk at 8:06 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Happy birthday and thanks for everything.
posted by frenetic at 8:08 PM on July 14, 2010


Is it bad form to ask if Matt simply wasn't picturing a flatbed scanner? I mean, the question only makes sense if you're trying to imagine stuffing a cat into a sheet feeder.

And another thing, I'm starting to suspect you can't actually do jack shit at zombo.com. But I'll keep working on it. Wouldn't want to jump to any premature conclusions.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:11 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm starting to suspect you can't actually do jack shit at zombo.com.

BLASPHEMER
posted by maqsarian at 8:12 PM on July 14, 2010


ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE AT ZOMBO COM! ANYTHING AT ALL!
posted by The Whelk at 8:12 PM on July 14, 2010


I didn't get zombo.com, so cortex sent me some links. They didn't help. There's an HTML5 version now though.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:14 PM on July 14, 2010


It's pips' birthday today, too. Eerie, huh?
posted by jonmc at 8:19 PM on July 14, 2010


So when's the meetup?

(cuzwedon'tgiveafuckcuzit'syourbirthday)
posted by functionequalsform at 8:32 PM on July 14, 2010


.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:44 PM on July 14, 2010


Oops
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:44 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


MeFi it's your birthday!
Happy Birthday, MeFi
.
posted by gemmy at 8:55 PM on July 14, 2010


11 years and I STILL HATE EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:23 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


Aw, I hate every fucking you too, man.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:03 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]


I think it's high time you got a paper route and started learning about the ways of the world, young man.
Oh, and PRONUNCIATION: (ME-FIGHT-ik)
posted by Hardcore Poser at 10:04 PM on July 14, 2010


HAPPY BIRFDAY!!!!11!!
posted by iamkimiam at 10:10 PM on July 14, 2010


Y'all are a great way to pass the time. Thanks, Metafilter!
posted by stoneweaver at 10:12 PM on July 14, 2010


... and this is what the cat in the scanner said.
posted by Rube R. Nekker at 10:16 PM on July 14, 2010


I spend more time with you people than anyone except my family and, maybe, the people I work with.

xoxo
posted by dirtdirt at 10:17 PM on July 14, 2010


note ot self, never have an idea and then include multiple people.
Wherever did you get that idea from?
posted by unliteral at 10:35 PM on July 14, 2010


What's that coming from the kitchen?

Why, it sounds like the waitstaff kicking off another one of their degrading spectacles with some clapping and feigned enthusiasm! Ooh, and here they come singing their unrecognizable royalty-free birthday song and a fried ice cream with sparklers!


Oh, nope, that one's going to another table.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:42 PM on July 14, 2010


(Yes, they are singing the fried ice cream. What of it?)
posted by Sys Rq at 10:44 PM on July 14, 2010


> Oh, nope, that one's going to another table.

But when I told you guys I didn't want you to make a fuss about my birthday I really meant that I wanted you to make a fuss about it!
posted by Burhanistan at 10:44 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Eleven years old.

Wow, in Internet years that's ancient.
posted by TooFewShoes at 10:46 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


*Gives the server 11 well-deserved birthday bumpsssssowuy0uf3f3f9r$T#$TT$#hjoon3rgvlp#%890[[001 10010 101000 1101101 0101 101 01010101 01
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:59 PM on July 14, 2010


Woot!
posted by Pronoiac at 11:04 PM on July 14, 2010


Is there cake?
posted by rtha at 11:09 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Hey, what's everyone doing out in the back yard?
posted by krinklyfig at 1:38 AM on July 15, 2010


Just because I missed your birthday, don't think you're my girlfriend or something.
posted by Splunge at 2:16 AM on July 15, 2010


I love you guys.
posted by Jofus at 2:54 AM on July 15, 2010


Why, it sounds like the waitstaff kicking off another one of their degrading spectacles

After I kick off my degrading spectacles, I let down my long blonde hair, shake it out, and it turns out I'm more than just some mousey wallflower -- I'm actually a TOTALLY HOT CHICK wearing NYLON STOCKINGS
posted by Greg Nog at 4:42 AM on July 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


Now that we've crossed the 11 year mark, I think we can officially now change the name of the site to The Meef. I'm sure you'll all agree that this is the way to go.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:56 AM on July 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


I think we can officially now change the name of the site to The Meef. I'm sure you'll all agree that this is the way to go.

If by "agree" you mean "demand that the term be taken out back and shot", then yes.
posted by FishBike at 5:16 AM on July 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's not the first on The Meef that I hear someone say that.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:49 AM on July 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure it's m33f.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:09 AM on July 15, 2010


No no no no, because then it's only a matter of time til some hater says 'I got beef wit' Da Meef' and then I'd die a little inside.
posted by Happy Dave at 6:12 AM on July 15, 2010


"Da Meef" is even better - good suggestion!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:16 AM on July 15, 2010


"Heeeyy, the Meefster, makin' copies. Meeeeeferrific.. Meefaroniii... Meefchilada... Meeeef..."

NOooo!! I agree with FishBike, this beast needs to be put down before it hurts someone else. Stand aside *CHK-CHK*
posted by Hardcore Poser at 7:09 AM on July 15, 2010 [2 favorites]


I didn't get zombo.com, so cortex sent me some links. They didn't help. There's an HTML5 version now though.

cjorgensen, You may find the following reference of some assistance:

Things you Can Do At Zombo.com
Anything
Anything at All*
The Infinite
The Unttainable**

*User Note: May be limited by self
**User Note: This is unknown at Zombo.com

Things you Cannot Do at Zombo.com:
n/a
posted by Dr. Zira at 7:11 AM on July 15, 2010


I believe Hardcore Poser means *CHK-CHK*.
posted by cgc373 at 7:13 AM on July 15, 2010


MeFi has come a long way. (Note the number of favorites...classic example of a post with promise?)
posted by iamkimiam at 7:31 AM on July 15, 2010


*CHK-CHK*
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 7:33 AM on July 15, 2010


> I'm starting to suspect you can't actually do jack shit at zombo.com.

You might have better luck at twitter.com/zombocom
posted by ardgedee at 7:54 AM on July 15, 2010


MeFi has come a long way. (Note the number of favorites...classic example of a post with promise?)

That question has been updated now with a couple of best answers marked, and a follow-up from the OP that includes the phrase "cheaper than the ER".

Based on how it turned out, I'm assuming those are mostly popcorn favorites. As in, people favorite the question and then make popcorn to eat while watching what happens.
posted by FishBike at 7:56 AM on July 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


I think "popcorn favorites" may find its way into my phrasebook. That's a nice distillation of a bit of mefi phenomenology.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:03 AM on July 15, 2010


Popcorn favorites! I love it. More food for the potluck!

So far, I think we're looking at beans, taters, grilled cheese, biscuits...am I forgetting anything?
posted by iamkimiam at 8:06 AM on July 15, 2010


So far, I think we're looking at beans, taters, grilled cheese, biscuits...am I forgetting anything?

PIE.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:13 AM on July 15, 2010


Now this is something I just don't get.
posted by Skot at 8:32 AM on July 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


“Do you know how many birthdays there are in Metafilter?”

“and about power …”

“d’you kn–”

“we got so much power now …”

“Do you know how many birthdays there are in Metafilter?”

“we got so much power now, that’s ridiculous.”

“d’you kn– do you know how many birthdays there are in Metafilter?”

“power, and all that, that’s power, we got so much power, that’s ridiculous.”

“We have–”

“power, power, power, power, power, power now, it’s ridiculous. We got so much power now …”

“Do you know how many birthdays there are in Metafilter?”

“It’s not even funny.”

“D’you–”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Do you know how many–”

“It’s not even funny.”

“D’you kn–”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Do you know how many–”

“That’s, that’s ridiculous.”

“Do you know how many birth–”

“That’s ridiculous. It’s not even funny.”

“D’you–”

“It’s not even funny.”

“D–”

“It’s not even funny.”

“Do you know how many birthdays there are in Metafilter?”

“It’s not even funny. How many birthdays?”

“Yeah. We have, we have four in this website, right?” (Hello?)

“How many birthdays?”

“Yeah.” (Hello? Yes.)

“1, 2, 3 …”

“Four in this website, right?”

“Uh, yessir.”

“Mm hm.”

“Uh, four … 1, 2, 3 … yessir.”

“Right.”

“1, 2, 3 … yessir.”

“Mm hm.” (“….radio station, Radio Moscow”)

“Uh, four … birthdays?”

“Yeah. We have four in this website, right?”

“Uh, nosir.”

“We have, we have–”

“Uh, yessir.”

“Mm hm.”

“And, uh …”

“Do you know how many birthdays they have?”

“Uh, yessir. Uh, four … uh, nosir. I never really studied that up.”

Eleven.

“Eleven. It’s not even funny.”

Eleven.

“Eleven. That’s, that’s ridiculous.”

Eleven.

“Eleven. Well, that’s what we can do. We can go anywhere, because we live here, we–”

“Yeah, but–”

“–anywhere else.”

“But, not only, not only the right of free travel, I’m saying…eleven.”

“Eleven. 1, 2, 3 … yessir.”

“Mm hm. Eleven.”

Eleven.

“That’s how big they are.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Eleven.” (What happened to my call?)

“That’s how big they are.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I, I can believe that, I’m a firm believer in that.”

“Alright.”

“1, 2, 3 … uh, four … yessir. 1, 2 … yessir. Yessir.”

“Mm hm.” (….Radio Moscow, 215 2101)

“Metafilter's the whole half side of the Internet.”

“Yeah.”

“And we’re just a little, one little tenth of the web.”

“Yeah.”

“They, uh, when you talk about fightin’, we’re a website that, uh, we’re a firm believer on pride, and it’s called help thy neighbor, do not kill, do not, you know, steal, cheat, lie from everybody. That’s why we have to have computers, because man, nobody is perfect. You know.”

“Mm hm.”

“It’s not even funny.”

“D’you–”

“and about power, man, nobody is perfect. You know.”

“So what is your point?”

“Nobody is perfect. You know.”

“So what is your point, Glen?”

“There’s, there’s, there’s two things you don’t talk about, one’s circumcision, the other one’s de-clawing your cat.”

“D’you–”

“The reason you don’t talk about ‘em is because they combine in each other. You know what I’m saying?”

“Do you know how many birthdays there are in Metafilter?”

“You know what I’m saying?”

“Don’t you kid yourself. Thanks, Glen, for the uh… well, just thanks for the, the good thoughts.

posted by Atom Eyes at 8:33 AM on July 15, 2010 [2 favorites]


So far, I think we're looking at beans, taters, grilled cheese, biscuits...am I forgetting anything?

Who else likes pancakes? I like pancakes.
posted by norm at 8:51 AM on July 15, 2010


So far, I think we're looking at beans, taters, grilled cheese, biscuits...am I forgetting anything?

Donuts? Popcorn? Hamburger?
posted by epersonae at 9:41 AM on July 15, 2010


Don't forget the bacon.
posted by rtha at 9:47 AM on July 15, 2010


Metafilter will never let us forget the Bacon.
posted by The Whelk at 9:50 AM on July 15, 2010


This is just to say

I have eaten
the cat
that you left wedged
in your scanner

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

forgive me
he was delicious
so fuzzy
and so cold
posted by GuyZero at 10:03 AM on July 15, 2010


"I'm actually a TOTALLY HOT CHICK wearing NYLON STOCKING"
posted by Greg Nog

Wait, I thought you were the guy painting the eleven! There is a remarkable resemblance...
posted by not_on_display at 10:31 AM on July 15, 2010


*shakes fist at not_on_display*

I was JUST about to post that!
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:35 AM on July 15, 2010


Yesterday's NYT crossword puzzle defined a slang term for "Home runs" as "taters." Do we FINALLY have answers?!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:40 AM on July 15, 2010


Yesterday's NYT crossword puzzle defined a slang term for "Home runs" as "taters." Do we FINALLY have answers?!

As far as I'm aware, that form of tater is not categorized into various levels of core hardness, therefore I suspect it's not the same usage as in the notorious AskMe question.
posted by FishBike at 10:43 AM on July 15, 2010


man thanks you people now I feel all dirty and transgressive when I devour a basket of tater tots.
posted by The Whelk at 10:50 AM on July 15, 2010


Zippity-BOP!

Do I have to do all the nostalgia around here?
posted by languagehat at 10:53 AM on July 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


Do I have to do all the nostalgia around here?

Although I was only a lurker, I fondly remember a time when you didn't.
posted by FishBike at 10:55 AM on July 15, 2010


I can't believe Dave is proud of Zippity Bop.
posted by norm at 11:05 AM on July 15, 2010


I just woke up from a dream that Metafilter had instituted, right next to Favorites, the ability to add a Yawn to a post or comment.

And I think I was crying in my sleep.
posted by Ouisch at 11:32 AM on July 15, 2010


I've never met a filter I didn't like!

tip your waitresses
posted by Devils Rancher at 3:52 PM on July 15, 2010


It would rock if a moderator deleted the other thread now with a reason of "The other party is better."
posted by cjorgensen at 4:10 PM on July 15, 2010


So far, I think we're looking at beans, taters, grilled cheese, biscuits...am I forgetting anything?

Ditch the comma between grilled cheese and biscuits and we won't need anything else but beer.
posted by Splunge at 4:48 PM on July 15, 2010 [2 favorites]


I here by claim the crown of lowest user number in the thread from Jimbob!

Until mathowie or jonmc shows up, anyway.

Also, cameras, we got cameras.
posted by Mick at 6:28 PM on July 15, 2010


* yields the floor *
posted by Jimbob at 6:37 PM on July 15, 2010


So, this site, it goes to 11?
Pshaw on your 11 - this site will last forever. If it disappears, you will know the apocalypse has come and gone and you missed it. Congratulations, you are the last surviving human.
posted by dg at 7:06 PM on July 15, 2010


dg was here
posted by cjorgensen at 7:32 PM on July 15, 2010


double
posted by not_on_display at 8:24 PM on July 15, 2010


I here by claim the crown of lowest user number in the thread from Jimbob!
Until mathowie or jonmc shows up, anyway.

What is jessamyn, chopped liver?
posted by unliteral at 9:18 PM on July 15, 2010


Eleven?! No one would believe 11!
posted by misha at 11:46 AM on July 19, 2010


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