Infodump: Just gotta have the last word or are you a conversation killer?

July 16, 2010 1:15 PM

Just gotta have the last word or are you a conversation killer?

After hearing crickets and seeing a few to many "0 since your most recent comment..." when checking my Recent Activity, I decided to find out how often I had the last comment in a thread.

It turns out that I've been the last commenter in 27 threads, which is 10% of all the threads that I've commented in over the years.

According to the most recent infodump set, here's a list of the top 50 folks with the last comment:

homunculus made 1774 last comments (25% of all threads commented in)
dhartung made 826 last comments (8% of all threads commented in)
amberglow made 770 last comments (15% of all threads commented in)
five fresh fish made 753 last comments (13% of all threads commented in)
Smedleyman made 510 last comments (9% of all threads commented in)
troutfishing made 447 last comments (15% of all threads commented in)
ZachsMind made 446 last comments (11% of all threads commented in)
languagehat made 442 last comments (7% of all threads commented in)
y2karl made 421 last comments (12% of all threads commented in)
nickyskye made 392 last comments (11% of all threads commented in)
Artw made 347 last comments (7% of all threads commented in)
stavrosthewonderchicken made 337 last comments (7% of all threads commented in)
kindall made 333 last comments (9% of all threads commented in)
dejah420 made 325 last comments (11% of all threads commented in)
delmoi made 316 last comments (2% of all threads commented in)
madamjujujive made 312 last comments (11% of all threads commented in)
kliuless made 298 last comments (16% of all threads commented in)
soyjoy made 287 last comments (11% of all threads commented in)
baylink made 280 last comments (27% of all threads commented in)
Mitheral made 270 last comments (9% of all threads commented in)
ericb made 260 last comments (6% of all threads commented in)
mrgrimm made 236 last comments (7% of all threads commented in)
UbuRoivas made 231 last comments (9% of all threads commented in)
rushmc made 229 last comments (8% of all threads commented in)
lodurr made 218 last comments (15% of all threads commented in)
stbalbach made 207 last comments (4% of all threads commented in)
mediareport made 207 last comments (7% of all threads commented in)
Goofyy made 204 last comments (9% of all threads commented in)
ParisParamus made 203 last comments (8% of all threads commented in)
clavdivs made 198 last comments (11% of all threads commented in)
pracowity made 197 last comments (5% of all threads commented in)
rodii made 196 last comments (13% of all threads commented in)
caddis made 191 last comments (4% of all threads commented in)
holgate made 191 last comments (9% of all threads commented in)
nofundy made 190 last comments (6% of all threads commented in)
dg made 186 last comments (16% of all threads commented in)
klangklangston made 186 last comments (5% of all threads commented in)
tellurian made 185 last comments (10% of all threads commented in)
matteo made 179 last comments (3% of all threads commented in)
Pollomacho made 177 last comments (5% of all threads commented in)
quonsar made 177 last comments (2% of all threads commented in)
OmieWise made 176 last comments (6% of all threads commented in)
Eideteker made 174 last comments (7% of all threads commented in)
Bugbread made 174 last comments (11% of all threads commented in)
Civil_Disobedient made 172 last comments (3% of all threads commented in)
mdn made 171 last comments (10% of all threads commented in)
cCranium made 167 last comments (20% of all threads commented in)
BrotherCaine made 162 last comments (7% of all threads commented in)
LeLiLo made 162 last comments (13% of all threads commented in)
asok made 161 last comments (8% of all threads commented in)

I'm running this for the entire userbase as I type this. It will probably take a while to complete though. I'll post it somewhere so you can find your own stats if you're interested.

posted by turbodog to MetaFilter-Related at 1:15 PM (786 comments total)

It's always entertaining when I scroll down my recent activity queue and see every thread capped off by several links from homunculus.
posted by Think_Long at 1:16 PM on July 16, 2010 [5 favorites]

I got the last word in the epic Palinboat thread, and that's all that matters to me.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:18 PM on July 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

homunculus and ericb. They are link gods and between the two of them fully justify the existence of Recent Activity.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:21 PM on July 16, 2010 [15 favorites]

[Posting early so's I don't kill the thread]

Call it the curse of the pessimistic - I tend to take more notice those times that I'm nearly the last person to comment than I would otherwise. It's most likely confirmation bias or the fact that outlying comments are more noteworthy to the observer.

Even so, given the large number of times I've noticed that, I'm surprised to not be on the list.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 1:22 PM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

homunculus is the king of follow up links, which are absolutely a good thing.

Bit weirded out to see myself lurking near the midpoint there.
posted by Artw at 1:24 PM on July 16, 2010

If the mods don't close it up I predict this will be the longest thread in the history of MetaFilter.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:31 PM on July 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

Last!
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 1:32 PM on July 16, 2010

homunculus and ericb. They are link gods and between the two of them fully justify the existence of Recent Activity.

In my case, they are motivators for most of my "remove thread from Recent Activity".
posted by smackfu at 1:34 PM on July 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Dammit.

Last!
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 1:35 PM on July 16, 2010

*Marks calendar for July August 16, 2010 3:15 PM*
posted by vapidave at 1:37 PM on July 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

It'd be interesting to see this as a scatter plot with userid vs. number of last comments. Also with userid vs. percentage of last comments; it's clear that at least at this list the ordering would be very different for proportional vs. this strict count.

Another way to look at the data: consider the number of comments in any thread—do users with higher counts/percentages of last comments tend to comment in proportionally shorter threads? Likewise take a look at the number of distinct commenters in any thread.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:41 PM on July 16, 2010

I'm never the last commenter.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:42 PM on July 16, 2010

I made a post with 2 comments the other day. That should get me some kind of trophy.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:45 PM on July 16, 2010

That's right, WinnipegDragon.
posted by gubo at 1:45 PM on July 16, 2010

See...
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:46 PM on July 16, 2010

I'm not surprised I'm not on it; I either jump into a thread early or not at all, and don't tend to go back and forth with people.
posted by desjardins at 1:46 PM on July 16, 2010

You might not think you've got a chance at being last, Dear Reader, but cortex might just close this up without warning. Who knows, eh?

Post often or you'll never have a chance.
posted by boo_radley at 1:47 PM on July 16, 2010

I either jump into a thread early or not at all, and don't tend to go back and forth with people.

Do you even understand the internet?!
posted by new brand day at 1:53 PM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'd like to see mine as a percentage, because it feels like this happens to me a lot.
posted by cj_ at 1:55 PM on July 16, 2010

What's wrong with adding a relevant comment but not continuing to participate in the conversation, new brand day?

I'll take my response off the air, thanks.
posted by Aquaman at 1:56 PM on July 16, 2010

Always a bridesmaid....
posted by zarq at 1:57 PM on July 16, 2010

I don't know that I've ever posted the last comment cuz new shiny object! Bye!
posted by Mister_A at 1:58 PM on July 16, 2010

1719. cj_ made 11 last comments (4% of all threads commented in)
posted by turbodog at 1:59 PM on July 16, 2010

It's the Lantern Rouge of comments. No one wants to be second to last.
posted by fixedgear at 2:05 PM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I tend to find that the intelligent bods on MeFi generally express my thoughts in some finely-tuned manner before I can get there myself, rendering commenting superfluous in most cases. Hence my low "last" percentage.

It's ok though, you can favorite this comment as a proxy for all the wonderful things that other people have said on my behalf.
posted by djgh at 2:08 PM on July 16, 2010 [7 favorites]

Is this for all subsites, or just the Blue?
posted by achmorrison at 2:14 PM on July 16, 2010

What about when you're the ONLY comment killer, a la Jim Jones?
posted by Melismata at 2:15 PM on July 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'd like to think I'm not on that list because I know when to bow out of a discussion, but the truth is I just stop checking in on discussions when my comments stop getting favorited.

God, what's wrong with me?
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:15 PM on July 16, 2010

Do you want the whole list, or just the three-page digest?
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:20 PM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Is this for all subsites, or just the Blue?

It's just from the Blue.

Running everyone who had a last comment just finished. 10477 users had at least one. Here's the whole shebang in a ZIP file.
posted by turbodog at 2:25 PM on July 16, 2010

117 lasts, 4%. This seems like a description of someone who just plain comments a lot, which, hey, accurate. Close to three thousand different mefi threads I've commented in over the years.

If it's convenient, would you be willing to chuck out another file that just has (userid, numberoflasts, numberofthreads) as tab or space separated values?
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:29 PM on July 16, 2010

Yeah, a few times I've been the guy who stretches out an old thread with an argument no one cares about (looks like I'm that guy right now).
posted by roll truck roll at 2:38 PM on July 16, 2010

I've never been a last commenter. My sources tell me this thread will be no different.
posted by twirlypen at 2:41 PM on July 16, 2010

I'm running the datadump version now.

It will be CSV in the format: userid, # of last comments, total # of posts commented in.

Is that what you wanted?
posted by turbodog at 2:42 PM on July 16, 2010

I tend to save links and read them later. Sometimes, I read them in time to leave comments.

Otherwise: Threadkiller!
posted by Eideteker at 2:43 PM on July 16, 2010

That'd be dandy, turbodog. Thanks!
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:46 PM on July 16, 2010

I have made 3 last comments


*crosses fingers* maybe this will be #4
posted by DiscourseMarker at 2:47 PM on July 16, 2010

I'd like to think I'm on that list because I leave homunculus like follow ups, and not because I don't know when to bow out of a discussion. I am probably wrong in this.
posted by Artw at 2:49 PM on July 16, 2010

This could theoretically be the Longest Metatalk Thread Ever.
posted by TochterAusElysium at 2:49 PM on July 16, 2010

Theoretically I could win the Tour de France next year...
posted by Mister_A at 2:58 PM on July 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Do you want the whole list, or just the three-page digest?

Send me the full version. I just skim these reports looking for my name anyway.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:59 PM on July 16, 2010

#2898. lee made 6 last comments (4% of all threads commented in)
posted by lee at 3:03 PM on July 16, 2010

Bookhouse made 17 last comments (1% of all threads commented in)

Huh.
posted by Bookhouse at 3:08 PM on July 16, 2010

Didn't someone post a thread once complaining about homunculus' updates? What a weird thing to be upset about.
posted by roll truck roll at 3:08 PM on July 16, 2010

Apropos.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:16 PM on July 16, 2010

Congratulations! You've unlocked the Can't Leave Well Enough Alone, Can You? Achievement!
posted by crunchland at 3:18 PM on July 16, 2010 [6 favorites]

Take only YouTube, leave only snarkprints.
posted by fleacircus at 3:18 PM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

http://metatalk.metafilter.com/19587/Introducing-Says-Who-the-Metafilter-identification-game
posted by Wolfdog at 3:20 PM on July 16, 2010

My god, it's been five years since I did this last.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:21 PM on July 16, 2010

I love it that homunculus leaves topical updates in the thread for the edification of our collective Recent Activity pages.
posted by paisley henosis at 3:23 PM on July 16, 2010

Also I predict that this thread will never die, because everyone will want to get the last comment in it.
posted by paisley henosis at 3:24 PM on July 16, 2010

homunculus = the best.
posted by grouse at 3:37 PM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Thanks, turbodog.

It's just from the Blue.

I think it's more AskMe that I notice this, now that I think about it.
posted by cj_ at 3:43 PM on July 16, 2010

5% of all threads commented in.
That's way too high for my liking.
posted by seanyboy at 3:50 PM on July 16, 2010

The only last word that matters.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:54 PM on July 16, 2010

OK, here's the datadump version.
posted by turbodog at 4:20 PM on July 16, 2010

#1495! YES!
posted by Stynxno at 4:21 PM on July 16, 2010

That's weird. I could have sworn I'd closed more than two threads. I guess those two just hit me really hard.
posted by theredpen at 4:25 PM on July 16, 2010

I'd closed a few as well, but really I'm just making some empty comments now so as to eventually get myself more exposure in Cortex's game.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:33 PM on July 16, 2010

Like this!
posted by Navelgazer at 4:34 PM on July 16, 2010

No, I'm the thread-killer! I know it in my heart and diminished self-esteem to be true!
posted by h00py at 4:34 PM on July 16, 2010

Last!
posted by jeoc at 4:45 PM on July 16, 2010

I must not comment last. Commenting last is the little thread killer.
posted by EvaDestruction at 4:48 PM on July 16, 2010

Well y'gotta understand, also, that most of the people on that list are actually the same person, conversing with him/herself. It makes the whole thing more sad than funny.

I'm gonna close this one up now. This time, cortex, you give me the clamps and sutures. Jessamyn, you sing a song, and Matt -- wear this hat. OK, ready? 1, 2, 3...
posted by not_on_display at 4:48 PM on July 16, 2010

I was thinking this might over-complicate things, but since that's pretty much what we do in Infodump threads, how about scaling the results based on the number of participants in each thread?

In other words, instead of counting "1" for each thread where you had the last word, and dividing by the total number of threads where you participated, count "# of participants" for each thread where you had the last word, and divide that by total number of threads you participated in.

This should give a figure of merit somewhere around 1.0 for people who get the last word in as frequently as expected based on random chance, and a higher for those who do it more often than expected. This removes the variance caused by people who tend to comment in very popular threads vs. niche threads.
posted by FishBike at 4:57 PM on July 16, 2010

Also I predict that this thread will never die, because everyone will want to get the last comment in it.

Can someone expose the set theory joke hidden in this comment? I know it's in there somewhere, but can't find it.
posted by qvantamon at 5:10 PM on July 16, 2010

I am not on here so therefore I am a scintillating font of conversation.
posted by The Whelk at 5:11 PM on July 16, 2010

Also, can you check how many times people posted the "This thread is closed to new comments." joke thingy?
posted by qvantamon at 5:12 PM on July 16, 2010

so we can find them and cull them?
posted by The Whelk at 5:14 PM on July 16, 2010

Also, can you check how many times people posted the "This thread is closed to new comments." joke thingy?

n > 10r

Where n is the number of times people posted it, and r is the number of times it was funny.
posted by FishBike at 5:16 PM on July 16, 2010

1567. maxwelton made 12 last comments (0% of all threads commented in)

There are 347 of us zero-percenters. Either my third grade teacher was right about where I would end up in life or we're so hardcore that the Hell's Angels run scared of us.
posted by maxwelton at 5:18 PM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hah. Now I've got a great idea.

1) Create a user called "Scruffy"
2) Write a script that makes a post by The Janitor 1 second before the auto-close timeout, saying something on the lines of "[Yeah... seems like nobody is using this anymore, so I'll go ahead and close it.]"
3) In time everyone will think I'm the official MeFi janitor that manually closes the old threads.
4) ...
5) Profit!
posted by qvantamon at 5:21 PM on July 16, 2010 [5 favorites]

homunculus, there's nothing wrong with being a fat lady
posted by mannequito at 5:25 PM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Hah. Now I've got a great idea.

1) Create a user called "Scruffy"
2) Write a script that makes a post by The Janitor 1 second before the auto-close timeout, saying something on the lines of "[Yeah... seems like nobody is using this anymore, so I'll go ahead and close it.]"
3) In time everyone will think I'm the official MeFi janitor that manually closes the old threads.
4) Steal qvantamon's idea
4.5) . . .
5) Profit"
posted by qvantamon

mheh heh heh heeeeehhhhh!
posted by not_on_display at 5:28 PM on July 16, 2010

Wait, what does Scruffy have to do with any of that.
posted by cj_ at 5:35 PM on July 16, 2010

I was going to go with "The Janitor", but then I thought Scruffy was better, and forgot to change it in (2).
posted by qvantamon at 5:38 PM on July 16, 2010

Only 5% of my comments are the last in the thread? Damn, it feels like more - maybe because of the comments I preview but never post, because it becomes clear the discussion's more or less withered away. I mean, I'm unlikely to achieve homunculus-like levels of last-commenting, but I could be killing so many more threads!
posted by ubersturm at 5:40 PM on July 16, 2010

The top 4 have more last comments than I have total comments.
posted by nevercalm at 6:17 PM on July 16, 2010

You'd want to factor in time - how long after a thread was started did the last comment occur? Some people end up last because they keep coming back to a topic after everyone else has moved on; time from original post would be useful as some sort of past-the-prime-interaction-phase indicator.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 7:22 PM on July 16, 2010

No ericb?
posted by klangklangston at 7:23 PM on July 16, 2010

Yes?
posted by found missing at 7:39 PM on July 16, 2010

Dammit EBK, that last comment should have been MINE! MINE, I tell you!!! It WAS the last comment until some frikkin unexplained SQLBFD error opened up the thread again, or something, and then a couple of people got in and added a ghost comment or two, but they shouldn't have counted, and ...

DAMMIT! I'm REALLY not over that yet!
posted by yhbc at 7:42 PM on July 16, 2010

This is the last post in the thread.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:11 PM on July 16, 2010

This is was the last post in the thread.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 8:15 PM on July 16, 2010

the only end my friend
posted by The Whelk at 8:19 PM on July 16, 2010

There's ghost comments all over this thread, ya know?

Hold me..

Only if you hold me too...
posted by mannequito at 8:20 PM on July 16, 2010

that's just old man cortex from the amusement park!
posted by The Whelk at 8:23 PM on July 16, 2010

This is the last post in the thread.

This.
posted by xorry at 8:27 PM on July 16, 2010

.
posted by The Whelk at 8:29 PM on July 16, 2010

X( stop it really now i mean it
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:31 PM on July 16, 2010

people are strange when yer a lurker.
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 PM on July 16, 2010

comments are lonely in the gray dark
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 PM on July 16, 2010

*dork
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:36 PM on July 16, 2010

*dong
posted by The Whelk at 8:37 PM on July 16, 2010

*Whale
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:44 PM on July 16, 2010

Whales seem wicked when they're unwanted.
posted by not_on_display at 8:48 PM on July 16, 2010

Sleeps are uneven, when youre on downs.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:57 PM on July 16, 2010

Do you count the hairs in the drain after every time you shower?
posted by Iron Rat at 9:07 PM on July 16, 2010

313, 49, 6%

Respectable.
posted by Snyder at 9:21 PM on July 16, 2010

Last!
posted by biochemist at 10:18 PM on July 16, 2010

Cranks.
posted by pracowity at 10:47 PM on July 16, 2010

Camshafts.
posted by Abiezer at 11:34 PM on July 16, 2010

Wankles.
posted by fleacircus at 11:45 PM on July 16, 2010

Right! I know! I know! Well, what I'm going to do, I'm going to have my testicles laminated.
posted by The GoBotSodomizer at 2:27 AM on July 17, 2010

penultimate
posted by pianomover at 2:45 AM on July 17, 2010

This thread is now closed to new comments.
posted by MuffinMan at 2:51 AM on July 17, 2010

It could have been love, but it's over now.
posted by maxwelton at 3:13 AM on July 17, 2010

Greetings from the past metafilterhistory browsers!
posted by minifigs at 3:37 AM on July 17, 2010

X( stop it really now i mean it

Anybody want a peanut?
posted by acanthous at 4:53 AM on July 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

As a last resort, the host can always just start saying goodbye to the stragglers and walking with them to the door. When it dawns on the stragglers that they are the guests, not the hosts, it will click that this is the end of the party and it's time to go out the door.
posted by pracowity at 5:43 AM on July 17, 2010

It must have been good, but I lost it somehow.
posted by biochemist at 5:59 AM on July 17, 2010

Fire!!
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:05 AM on July 17, 2010

Great, now I have definite confirmation that I have been the conversation killer 312 times *cries*
posted by madamjujujive at 6:12 AM on July 17, 2010

Not this time, tho.
posted by nevercalm at 6:20 AM on July 17, 2010

Anybody else wondering about the proportion of last comments featuring "lobster" and "lederhosen"?
posted by EvaDestruction at 6:22 AM on July 17, 2010

No.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 6:48 AM on July 17, 2010

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE !!!!
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:08 AM on July 17, 2010

And it's not you.
posted by The Whelk at 7:32 AM on July 17, 2010

How many lasts have a significant time difference from the comment just preceding? That is, how often does someone attempt to comment in a thread that others have all but abandoned and thus is alone at the party?
posted by Obscure Reference at 7:33 AM on July 17, 2010

NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN.
posted by The Whelk at 7:40 AM on July 17, 2010

The real question is how many "lasts" are just natural ends to a conversation, and how many leave the uncomfortable silence of the turd in the punchbowl?

Because I may only have 10 lasts, but dammit I want them to count.
posted by Forktine at 7:42 AM on July 17, 2010

See, I've always maintained that on the internet, whoever gets in the last word loses.
posted by kipmanley at 7:48 AM on July 17, 2010

4 lasts, 4%. I always find this kind of metaintrospection (or whatever it's called) interesting, and also almost totally useless.

Wait, no - it is actually totally useless. But still interesting. Anyway, I was here.
posted by Nabubrush at 7:59 AM on July 17, 2010

KILROY!?
posted by The Whelk at 8:00 AM on July 17, 2010

Is there some way to combine this with that comment-quiz cortex made so we can guess the commenters for last comments? That'd be fun.
posted by Nabubrush at 8:03 AM on July 17, 2010

How many lasts have a significant time difference from the comment just preceding? That is, how often does someone attempt to comment in a thread that others have all but abandoned and thus is alone at the party?

Oh, thousands:

• 55,546 last comments were more than 1 day later than the previous comment.
• 17,439 last comments were more than 1 week later.
• 6,816 last comments were more than 30 days later.

But the record-breaker is this comment in MeFi Music, at 1,208 days after the previous comment.

These stats are for all sub-sites combined. So let's do them again just for the blue:

• 16,417 last comments were more than 1 day later than the previous comment.
• 3,387 last comments were more than 1 week later.
• 241 last comments were more than 30 days later.

The record-breaker on the blue is potentially this comment at 976 days, though it's the only comment in the thread, so that interval is from the post itself. If that doesn't count, then it's this one at 735 days.
posted by FishBike at 8:20 AM on July 17, 2010

I thought posts closed down after a month-3 months? How do those numbers actually work?
posted by biochemist at 8:26 AM on July 17, 2010

Caveats to that, as always:

- Music threads stay open forever. So: last comment...SO FAR. I'm tempted to go drop a quick note into frenetic's first post there just to fuck with the numbers. Heh.

- The record for the blue will never be beaten, since it was only in the first few years of mefi's life that threads didn't close automatically after a month.

- Many of the late comments in AskMe are legitimate followups from posters (and some are late prompts from readers, though people mostly shouldn't do that and I generally delete 'em if I see 'em, and a few are probably even spam though I've done my best to nix those and our tools for catching such these days are much better).

It'd be interesting to see what the latest-last comments are—who is being not just clever about showing up last but doing so with surgical precision, making literally last-minute comments and such.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:29 AM on July 17, 2010

It looks like September 21st, 2002 is the first day you can reliably expect threads on the blue to be closed when they're more than 1 month old. So I've looked for comments with datestamps later than that, and sorted them by how close they are to being 1 month after the datestamp of the post.

Aside from some weirdness with posts getting briefly re-opened on the last day of certain months, which I've tried to filter out, this looks like the top 25 last-second thread-ending comments on the blue:

0.50 seconds by pyramid termite for comment #1511070
1.55 seconds by cortex for comment #1305472
2.75 seconds by Rhaomi for comment #2433156
4.55 seconds by Brandon Blatcher for comment #3110624
6.02 seconds by Faint of Butt for comment #2278445
12.93 seconds by ericb for comment #2825780
21.93 seconds by Sailormom for comment #1853196
24.00 seconds by Stan Chin for comment #461574
27.92 seconds by gnutron for comment #3152775
37.12 seconds by oddman for comment #2584698
46.73 seconds by Justinian for comment #2668924
51.18 seconds by five fresh fish for comment #2532705
52.72 seconds by Forktine for comment #2814111
53.03 seconds by UbuRoivas for comment #1911299
63.10 seconds by nomisxid for comment #2517417
65.48 seconds by salishsea for comment #2310032
70.13 seconds by subgenius for comment #636100
71.73 seconds by jpburns for comment #545420
74.07 seconds by triggerfinger for comment #2059040
80.72 seconds by PareidoliaticBoy for comment #1957948
87.37 seconds by nanojath for comment #862785
96.97 seconds by edgeways for comment #3102889
99.40 seconds by HyperBlue for comment #2123071
107.23 seconds by ColdChef for comment #1376525
109.97 seconds by not_on_display for comment #2351923

It'd be interesting to see what the latest-last comments are—who is being not just clever about showing up last but doing so with surgical precision, making literally last-minute comments and such.

This does appear to be how you got to be 2nd on this list, yes. Heh. Rhaomi's entry at #3 on the list is a pretty substantial comment, although it does indicate awareness of the impending deadline as well. He knew he was close to the wire there, but I wonder if he knew just how close?
posted by FishBike at 9:16 AM on July 17, 2010

Infodump: Just gotta have the last word or are you a conversation killer?

Neither. Each thread is a beautiful blue snowflake, but one sad reality they all have in common is their short life-span: 30 days. Can you imagine what that's like? Any thread could have a rich and flourishing existence, but most are abandoned within a few days, doomed to live out their short lives alone and unloved. I try to bring some sense of meaning and fulfillment to their brief existence. How many of your posts have you stayed with until their 30th day? How many have you simply abandoned to be archived alone while you're galavanting around with the latest nubile two-day-old thread about Lady Gaga or Stephen Fry? That's what I thought. The Blue is a wonderful place, but it has a cold side, as any archived thread could tell you if it wasn't closed for comments.
posted by homunculus at 9:32 AM on July 17, 2010 [6 favorites]

With your permission, homunculus, I'd like to use that as part of the pamphlet I'm working on to spread the good news about the First Church of Recent Activity, Redeemer.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:33 AM on July 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

I was hoping that comment by homunculus (also one of the longest ones I have ever seen him type) would be the last comment in this thread, but noooooo, cortex had to ruin it.
posted by grouse at 9:35 AM on July 17, 2010

Please do, brother cortex.
posted by homunculus at 9:36 AM on July 17, 2010

The Church Of The Everlasting Thread.
posted by The Whelk at 9:44 AM on July 17, 2010

That's over at MonkeyFilter.
posted by homunculus at 9:58 AM on July 17, 2010

We will purge the heretical monkeys from our most holy kingdom with fire and pitchforks.
posted by The Whelk at 10:10 AM on July 17, 2010

"If the mods don't close it up I predict this will be the longest thread in the history of MetaFilter."

I'm betting not. The Metatalk November Favourites thread was both active for the whole month and contentious with 2725 comments. And site wide it seems even less likely we'd outstrip the Palin mega thread at 5555 comments unless people really pick up the pace on the last day.
posted by Mitheral at 10:21 AM on July 17, 2010

We will purge the heretical monkeys from our most holy kingdom with fire and pitchforks.

I think you seriously underestimate their fighting prowess.
posted by homunculus at 10:23 AM on July 17, 2010

What is the Metafilter Fighting Style? Death by Kittens?
posted by The Whelk at 10:51 AM on July 17, 2010

Geek Kune Do?
GRAR Maga?
The deadly Welsh art of Llap Goch that requires no intelligence, strength or physical courage?
Ecky-Thump?
posted by Hardcore Poser at 11:54 AM on July 17, 2010

What is the Metafilter Fighting Style? Death by Kittens?
posted by Green With You at 12:01 PM on July 17, 2010

Laser Death Cat is not amused.
posted by Artw at 12:20 PM on July 17, 2010

This is a perfect example of why I thought I must have a butt-load (technical term meaning over a kajillion) of last comments-- I am always late to the threads. Rarely do I get to them when they are fresh and snappy like newly-laundered sheets just scrubbed by hand by buxom maidens in lye and lavender water then hung out to dry in April breezes. No, usually they are sadly mildewed and wrinkled and smelling like old cheese-eating man farts with all the crispness long since sucked out of them by bed bugs. I love bright, shiny new threads but fear them too-- after all their very brightness might reflect my sad, weary old carcass like a funhouse mirror and display all of my tired, played-out shtick to the masses of exuberant youths bouncing around the pages of MetaFilter, youths who flock to the latest thing posted with nary a thought to what happens to the unwanted, used-up threads that is discarded daily
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:11 PM on July 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Pro-tip: Increase your odds of being last by posting corrections. Example: "...what happens to the unwanted, used-up threads that is are discarded daily."
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:14 PM on July 17, 2010

This thread is delicious.

And I am notorious for dipping out of a thread if distracted by something shiny. Sometimes I remember and go back and finish, and sometimes, well... 30 days! ZIP!
posted by cavalier at 1:28 PM on July 17, 2010

Stan Chin deserves another star.
posted by adamvasco at 2:09 PM on July 17, 2010

Toast
posted by Kirth Gerson at 2:54 PM on July 17, 2010

146. brundlefly made 83 last comments (2% of all threads commented in)

Not bad.
posted by brundlefly at 3:05 PM on July 17, 2010

he said.
posted by The Whelk at 3:07 PM on July 17, 2010

I'm 100% in favor of any new way we can come up to rank each other. Perhaps we can do penis size or IQ next!
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:58 PM on July 17, 2010

What about those not possessing penises? :(
posted by biochemist at 6:09 PM on July 17, 2010

If you don't have a penis, you must have an IQ.
posted by crunchland at 7:08 PM on July 17, 2010

ARMWRESTLING TOURNAMENT!
posted by desjardins at 7:23 PM on July 17, 2010

Perhaps we can do penis size or IQ next!

Is there a standardized test for penis IQ?
posted by pracowity at 9:47 PM on July 17, 2010

I wuz here.
posted by deborah at 10:39 PM on July 17, 2010

I wasn't.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 10:46 PM on July 17, 2010

*wuzn't
posted by Joseph Gurl at 10:46 PM on July 17, 2010

26 is not very many.
posted by wierdo at 12:44 AM on July 18, 2010

Is there a standardized test for penis IQ?

IQ tests are masturbation.
posted by qvantamon at 2:19 AM on July 18, 2010

Not for real mensa?
posted by pracowity at 2:48 AM on July 18, 2010

I dreamt last night that I said something really stupid in this thread.

OMG I AM PSYCHIC.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 7:40 AM on July 18, 2010

I dreamed I was flaming out in my Madienform bra...
posted by The Whelk at 7:58 AM on July 18, 2010

I dreamed my girlfriend was pregnant, I shot someone in the kneecap after they shot at me for no particular reason, then had to console a girl who was upset she couldn't get any club guys to pee on her.

(surely this..)
posted by wierdo at 12:44 PM on July 18, 2010

Some interesting outliers in there.

Poster with the most comments of the 100% last commenters (everyone else in the 100% category had 3 or less):
3855. Maelstrom made 4 last comments (100% of all threads commented in)

No one has 81-99% last comments. There was one person with 80%:
3618. Outspoken made 4 last comments (80% of all threads commented in)

Of those over 70%, one stands above the rest and manages to squeak into the top 1000 last commenters:
999. grant made 19 last comments (73% of all threads commented in)
posted by fings at 1:36 PM on July 18, 2010

last is good? I just thought a post happened to be last because everyone had left the room.

See? Helllllooooooo?

nothing but echoes.
posted by Surfurrus at 1:49 PM on July 18, 2010

last is good? I just thought a post happened to be last because everyone had left the room.

See? Helllllooooooo?

nothing but echoes.
posted by desjardins at 2:15 PM on July 18, 2010

How is it possible that my last comment didn't end the thread?

And what are echoes?
posted by wierdo at 2:18 PM on July 18, 2010

My actual dream last night was that my shopping was interrupted by huge dinosaurs crashing through the city and people scrambling to get more "points" by chasing them or whatever. I was very put out and had to hire a prop-plane to fly to a cornfield in order to find a farm to get my apples, sadly I woke up just as I was about to get on the train, where you indicated your destination by miming a particular instrument (Actual quote "going To the High School, play a guitar. Going AWAY from High School, play the drums.) So I never got to find out if the dinosaurs left or not.
posted by The Whelk at 2:48 PM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Man, I just had one of those stupid ass programming dreams about recursive loops that don't make any sense.
posted by Artw at 2:53 PM on July 18, 2010

Man, I just had one of those stupid ass programming dreams about recursive loops that don't make any sense.

Oh yeah? Well I just had one of those stupid ass automobile dreams about hitting a limo that didn't make any sense!
posted by Green With You at 4:22 PM on July 18, 2010

you know what doesn't make sense recursive loops you know
posted by The Whelk at 4:42 PM on July 18, 2010

You know what doesn't make sense? Arguing with an ibex. Just don't do it.
posted by homunculus at 6:32 PM on July 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Only 173 comments!
posted by adamvasco at 2:20 AM on July 19, 2010

Limos almost never make sense.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:04 AM on July 19, 2010

I was in an emergency ward in Waterloo Ontario, making a mermaid tail and flames on a cake with chocolate icing. Then I solved the mystery of the old woman - it was her husband's tie in the bloody tube! Gasp!
And then they took the flames off the cake before they served it to her and that SUCKED.

Dream analysts, I dare you.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 4:35 AM on July 19, 2010

word
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:03 AM on July 19, 2010

says you.
posted by The Whelk at 12:00 PM on July 19, 2010

What's before penultimate?
posted by pianomover at 12:50 PM on July 19, 2010

antepenultimo
posted by The Whelk at 12:57 PM on July 19, 2010

Antepenultimartini with two antepimento olives.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 2:19 PM on July 19, 2010 [2 favorites]

That would be the ultimate antepenultimatum.
posted by Artw at 2:20 PM on July 19, 2010

Who wants a pimento cheese sandwich?
posted by wierdo at 3:55 PM on July 19, 2010

Win?
posted by The Michael The at 6:09 PM on July 19, 2010

So who was the person that said "last!" the furthest away from when the thread actually ended?! can someone run the numbers kthx
posted by Dr. Send at 6:33 PM on July 19, 2010

I predict that this post will not be the last post on this thread.
posted by wierdo at 6:55 PM on July 19, 2010

I predict that wierdo is wrong.
posted by qvantamon at 7:14 PM on July 19, 2010

Hey, you got my name right! You rate amongst the top 5% of Metafilter!
posted by wierdo at 7:31 PM on July 19, 2010

Middle!
posted by Artw at 7:52 PM on July 19, 2010

Deploy the middle child!
posted by homunculus at 8:16 PM on July 19, 2010

what?
posted by The Whelk at 8:27 PM on July 19, 2010

Mickey Mouse Against The Worms

Should have gone here, but I just missed it.
posted by homunculus at 2:14 PM on July 20, 2010

*puts the ghost lamp on*
posted by The Whelk at 2:39 PM on July 20, 2010

Last person to mention sandwiches!
posted by roll truck roll at 6:16 PM on July 20, 2010

PANCAKES!
posted by The Whelk at 6:20 PM on July 20, 2010

You guys are doing it wrong. It's like an eBay auction: you've got to snipe at the last minute if you want to win this thing. If you comment any earlier, you're just giving others more time to comment after you.
posted by FishBike at 6:26 PM on July 20, 2010

SNIPE SNIPE
posted by The Whelk at 6:29 PM on July 20, 2010

Are you guys just sitting here watching the clock? Wow, you are going to have one hell of long month.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:41 PM on July 20, 2010

Yes, FishBike, the key is to not post any comments so that people forget about it. I'm onto your evil plan.
posted by wierdo at 9:20 PM on July 20, 2010

If ... I .... Type .... Very .... slooowly . . . maybe . . . it . . . wont .... show ....up in..... recent. .........activity........ *crosses fingers*
posted by Think_Long at 7:38 AM on July 21, 2010

okletstrytypingreallyfast
posted by wierdo at 8:06 AM on July 21, 2010

Fuck.

Now I'll try to be really annoying so people will remove this thread from their recent activity in disgust.

Hey, what's happening over on the Goop? What advice will Gwyneth bring me today?

The fresh green color of newly sprouted leaves is the color associated with spring and the liver, so eat your greens! The slight bitter taste of fresh young greens activates the liver system.

Huh, interesting.
posted by Think_Long at 8:19 AM on July 21, 2010

Being reminded that Goop exists is just like The Game. Everybody loses.
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:36 AM on July 21, 2010

... except your liver system.
posted by Think_Long at 8:44 AM on July 21, 2010

Doctor orders Gwyneth Paltrow to have fun in the sun

Fascinating!
posted by homunculus at 9:12 AM on July 21, 2010

Well sure, your liver system gets activated, but then what?
posted by SpiffyRob at 10:26 AM on July 21, 2010

FishBike: "2.75 seconds by Rhaomi for comment #2433156

Rhaomi's entry at #3 on the list is a pretty substantial comment, although it does indicate awareness of the impending deadline as well. He knew he was close to the wire there, but I wonder if he knew just how close?"

What happened was I found a whole lot more material on the subject and was collecting it to post ITT, but I procrastinated on it like I had with the original post and waited on getting the links together from my bookmarks until the 20 minutes or so before the one-month mark.

I cut it so close, actually, that the comment didn't even show up in Recent Activity (which was the whole point of updating it), so I had to post in MetaTalk asking for a fix. Looking back, I'm not sure if it's that close out of sheer luck, or because of whatever pb did to get it "reinstated." I like the first idea, though... that it was so close, the thread closed in between clicking "Post Comment" and it showing up!
posted by Rhaomi at 1:01 PM on July 21, 2010

Did I leave my keys in here?
posted by Nabubrush at 3:51 PM on July 21, 2010

No, but I left my cell phone.
posted by wierdo at 3:53 PM on July 21, 2010

I can't find my pants.
posted by homunculus at 5:01 PM on July 21, 2010

Found 'em.
posted by brundlefly at 5:21 PM on July 21, 2010

Now I can't find homunculus' pants.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:22 PM on July 21, 2010

I can't imagine why cortex would be looking for homunculus' pants.
posted by wierdo at 8:08 PM on July 21, 2010

I can.
posted by Think_Long at 8:36 PM on July 21, 2010

I want to go shopping!
posted by pianomover at 11:57 PM on July 21, 2010

No, seriously. I have those pants. What are they worth to you?
posted by brundlefly at 1:22 AM on July 22, 2010

Where'd all the dip go?
posted by h00py at 2:43 AM on July 22, 2010

THAT'S NOT DIP! Um, no need to get grabby...I'm just not completely unhappy to see you.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:30 AM on July 22, 2010

I haven't seen Eraserhead since I was a teenager 25 or more years ago. I suspect it's not worth revisiting as an adult. Am I right?
posted by maxwelton at 3:36 AM on July 22, 2010

Don't even mention Miles Davis, man.
posted by h00py at 5:34 AM on July 22, 2010

What in the world does the name "Hollywood Undead", mean? What were they thinking?
posted by cavalier at 5:35 AM on July 22, 2010

Why Not ?
posted by adamvasco at 6:03 AM on July 22, 2010

I haven't seen Eraserhead since I was a teenager 25 or more years ago. I suspect it's not worth revisiting as an adult. Am I right?

It has something to offer all ages. I enjoyed the re-view 3 or 4 years back.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:04 AM on July 22, 2010

I would like you all to know that I'm wearing your underpants. They are making it difficult to walk. Thank you, that is all.
posted by wierdo at 7:12 AM on July 22, 2010

cortex, thanks for adding the pants location info to the Infodump. The correlation of pants proximity with favoriting rates is astounding!
posted by FishBike at 7:14 AM on July 22, 2010

stupid clouds, this should be beach time people! BEACH TIME.


wait what?
posted by The Whelk at 7:49 AM on July 22, 2010

Who goes to the beach on a Thursday morning?
posted by Think_Long at 8:10 AM on July 22, 2010

Mollusks at Popular Arts Conventions.
posted by The Whelk at 8:11 AM on July 22, 2010

Any person with the right priorities in life, I would say.

I am not at the beach.
posted by FishBike at 8:12 AM on July 22, 2010

Favorite beach-themed movie?

Mine is Surf Nazis Must Die.
posted by Think_Long at 8:27 AM on July 22, 2010

No, seriously. I have those pants. What are they worth to you?

I don't need my pants anyway!
posted by homunculus at 8:39 AM on July 22, 2010

I would like you all to know that I'm wearing your underpants.

I hope you remembered to use the Subtle Butt insert.
posted by homunculus at 8:42 AM on July 22, 2010

My favorite beach-themed movie is The Host.

I've always wondered, is the convention to put punctuation in the link or outside of (adjacent to) it? I switch back and forth.
posted by Nabubrush at 9:37 AM on July 22, 2010

I treat a link like I treat quotation marks or italics - they only apply to the noun, not the punctuation. I am quite probably wrong though.
posted by Think_Long at 10:28 AM on July 22, 2010

Psycho Beach Party!
posted by EvaDestruction at 12:03 PM on July 22, 2010

I have got to stop buying books I have to think about the suitcase weight.
posted by The Whelk at 12:22 PM on July 22, 2010

Are you traveling? I just watched Up in the Air last night, so I've got some great tips for you (it involves Sam Elliot and his mustache).
posted by Think_Long at 12:26 PM on July 22, 2010

Mostly Im just trying to find decent wifi in the con center itself
posted by The Whelk at 12:31 PM on July 22, 2010

Homunculus, you won't know until you get 'em back! *cackles with insane glee*
posted by wierdo at 1:41 PM on July 22, 2010

Clearly what we need are pants with wifi.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 2:43 PM on July 22, 2010

Oh, you mean these? (mine had wifi; yes I'm a geek)
posted by wierdo at 3:07 PM on July 22, 2010

Wierdo, I may need to marry you.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 3:30 PM on July 22, 2010

You better inspect those underpants before you commit.

wierdo, you can keep them.

Jeez, no pants, no underpants... say, is there a draft in here?
posted by homunculus at 5:43 PM on July 22, 2010

First Jive Dude: Shiiiiit, maaaaan. That honky muf' be messin' mah old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head, you know?
Second Jive Dude: Hey home', I can dig it. Know ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you, man!
First Jive Dude: I say hey, sky... subba say I wan' see...
Second Jive Dude: Uh-huh.
First Jive Dude: ...pray to J I did the same ol' same ol'!
Second Jive Dude: Hey... knock a self a pro, Slick! That gray matter backlot perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in', man!
First Jive Dude: Hey, you know what they say: see a broad to get dat booty yak 'em...
First Jive Dude, Second Jive Dude: ...leg 'er down a smack 'em yak 'em!
First Jive Dude: COL' got to be! Y'know? Shiiiiit.
posted by nevercalm at 7:39 PM on July 22, 2010

Post penultimate
posted by pianomover at 2:34 AM on July 23, 2010

post ULTIMATE.
posted by Think_Long at 7:05 AM on July 23, 2010

That was probably the ultimate post.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:35 AM on July 23, 2010

rolling rolling rolling
posted by The Whelk at 9:29 AM on July 23, 2010

Though the streams are swollen,
Keep them doggies rolling, rawhide.
posted by Think_Long at 9:35 AM on July 23, 2010

Hell bent for leather.
posted by The Whelk at 9:40 AM on July 23, 2010

Wishing my gal was by my side

*skip to*

WHIP CRACK
posted by Think_Long at 9:41 AM on July 23, 2010

Cuz leather could not bend for hell
Hell kindly bent for leather
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:51 AM on July 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

Yeah, so it turns out wearing 10,000 pairs of underpants simultaneously is a great way to get some serious chafing going on. Anybody got some diaper rash cream?
posted by wierdo at 10:17 AM on July 23, 2010

*rummages through diaper bag*

I have Desitin, Vaseline, A&D...
posted by zarq at 10:22 AM on July 23, 2010

Everyone needs a huggie.
posted by fleacircus at 10:30 AM on July 23, 2010

Well how about that: speaking of Oghren's pants, I just noticed the Return to Ostagar is finally out for Mac.

Everyone needs a mabari.
posted by homunculus at 10:49 AM on July 23, 2010

MetaFilter: Y'hear that, nughumper? I'm comin' for yah! Prepare to die!!
posted by not_on_display at 11:10 AM on July 23, 2010

Lucky lavender underpants. That is all.
posted by The Whelk at 11:48 AM on July 23, 2010

Unlucky curry-flavored underpants.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 1:39 PM on July 23, 2010

Non-fortune-biased organically-flavored safety overalls.
posted by not_on_display at 1:47 PM on July 23, 2010

Edible thong of destiny.
posted by Artw at 2:13 PM on July 23, 2010

I am wearing my Power Danskin.
posted by maxwelton at 2:17 PM on July 23, 2010

zarq, you do realize AD&D is not considered appropriate for infants, right?
posted by wierdo at 2:28 PM on July 23, 2010

I BEG TO DIFFER!
posted by zarq at 2:37 PM on July 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

Heh. They should totally put a baby dwarf in chain mail, holding a sword on the containers.
posted by zarq at 2:38 PM on July 23, 2010

lol, that picture is funny.
posted by wierdo at 2:59 PM on July 23, 2010

sandwiches.
posted by adamvasco at 5:50 AM on July 25, 2010

Is there any more red wine?
posted by h00py at 6:04 AM on July 25, 2010

Mayo
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:14 AM on July 25, 2010

Sardines on triscuits with a red wine/mayonnaise drizzle.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 7:20 AM on July 25, 2010

Man I didn't meet hardly *anyone* this year. Is it the Tom Wolfeian white suit?
posted by The Whelk at 9:52 AM on July 25, 2010

Two eggs over easy with ramen, topped with fresh rosemary.
posted by wierdo at 11:20 AM on July 25, 2010 [1 favorite]

Take all you want but eat all you take.
posted by pianomover at 4:10 PM on July 25, 2010

Fake it til you make it. Or something.
posted by Think_Long at 9:35 AM on July 26, 2010

This is the post that never ends, and it goes on and on my friend. Some MeFites started posting in it not knowing what it was and they'll be posting here forever more...
posted by biochemist at 2:45 PM on July 26, 2010

First!
posted by shakespeherian at 2:47 PM on July 26, 2010

A great gray wyrm eating itself
posted by The Whelk at 4:47 PM on July 26, 2010

Bump
posted by nevercalm at 5:11 PM on July 26, 2010

No thanks, I'm trying to cut down.
posted by The Whelk at 5:25 PM on July 26, 2010

Rock, paper, scissors anyone?
posted by Think_Long at 7:47 PM on July 26, 2010

Vulcan.
posted by The Whelk at 7:53 PM on July 26, 2010

Chuck.
posted by wierdo at 8:16 PM on July 26, 2010

Wagon.
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 PM on July 26, 2010

Contraption.
posted by wierdo at 11:48 PM on July 26, 2010

Now we're talking.
posted by The Whelk at 12:10 AM on July 27, 2010

GOOD MORNING!
posted by Think_Long at 8:20 AM on July 27, 2010

Oh are you still here?
posted by shakespeherian at 8:26 AM on July 27, 2010

No.
posted by homunculus at 8:33 AM on July 27, 2010

Maybe.
posted by homunculus at 8:33 AM on July 27, 2010

GOOD MORNING
posted by The Whelk at 8:34 AM on July 27, 2010

Good evening.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:41 AM on July 27, 2010

Good day.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:47 AM on July 27, 2010

Good Night.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:51 AM on July 27, 2010

Good god, y'all.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:54 AM on July 27, 2010

Good Golly Miss Molly
posted by Think_Long at 9:08 AM on July 27, 2010

Goodness Gracious!
posted by The Whelk at 9:12 AM on July 27, 2010

Good to the last drop.
posted by Think_Long at 9:18 AM on July 27, 2010

Good, Bad, Ugly.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:25 AM on July 27, 2010

Good to the last drop.
posted by pianomover at 10:24 AM on July 27, 2010

Goodness Gracious Me.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 6:04 PM on July 27, 2010

Good night, hustlers
posted by wierdo at 6:36 PM on July 27, 2010

Goodnight Irene
posted by homunculus at 6:46 PM on July 27, 2010

Good Day Tulsa
posted by wierdo at 6:57 PM on July 27, 2010

there always has to be one, eh ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:28 PM on July 27, 2010

Eh!
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:05 PM on July 27, 2010

Good day, eh?
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 9:06 PM on July 27, 2010

I see your eh and raise you an Eye.
posted by wierdo at 10:49 PM on July 27, 2010

It's good to be back people.
posted by The Whelk at 11:28 PM on July 27, 2010

I only fart once a year on Christmas.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:32 PM on July 27, 2010

It must be a big one then.
posted by The Whelk at 11:40 PM on July 27, 2010

Alternatively, it could be super-concentrated. Like the eleventy-billionX bleach they sell now. ("one molecule keeps your clothes whiter and brighter!")
posted by wierdo at 12:02 AM on July 28, 2010

What we're saying is Burhanistan has discovered THE PERFECT MURDER.
posted by The Whelk at 12:06 AM on July 28, 2010

Sooooo.....concentrated farts. That's what you guys are talking about. Boyzone? Dogzone?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:37 AM on July 28, 2010

Zone of Flatulence
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:52 AM on July 28, 2010

Definitely more dog zone, if my dog is the benchmark by which fart concentration is measured, which it should be.
posted by wierdo at 7:13 AM on July 28, 2010

This girl is definitely capable of creating Zones of Mass Gastrointestinal Destruction.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 7:50 AM on July 28, 2010

Girls fart far more often and with greater pungency than boys. It's because of all of the sugars and spices.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:53 AM on July 28, 2010

It must be a big one then.

Well, by definition it couldn't be a big one at any other time.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:18 AM on July 28, 2010

Girls fart far more often and with greater pungency than boys. It's because of all of the sugars and spices.

An interesting hypothesis, but it needs to be tested.
posted by homunculus at 8:23 AM on July 28, 2010

Zone of Flatulence

Cone Of Foulness.
posted by The Whelk at 9:32 AM on July 28, 2010

I'm just waiting for this conversation to change so I can jump back in.
posted by Think_Long at 9:35 AM on July 28, 2010

Loose Change
posted by wierdo at 9:36 AM on July 28, 2010

Fur on fur
posted by homunculus at 9:38 AM on July 28, 2010

The new strategy for getting the last comment is to pick a topic of conversation that no one else is interested in.

Speaking of which, has anyone checked out the 2010 actuarial tables?
posted by shakespeherian at 9:38 AM on July 28, 2010

There's a 100% probability that an actuary will fart when they are in the throes of death.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:41 AM on July 28, 2010

Actuary Table, is that from West Elm?
posted by pianomover at 9:48 AM on July 28, 2010

Going inside a West Elm or a Pottery Barn or the like always makes me want to sell everything I own and live on a single mattress in a closet somewhere.
posted by The Whelk at 9:58 AM on July 28, 2010

I like to use this table to play my favorite drinking game: "Guess the the average number of years of life remaining if a group of persons at that age were to experience the mortality rates for 2006 over the course of their remaining life".
posted by Think_Long at 10:02 AM on July 28, 2010

Pottery Barn just makes me want to burn down the mall.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:02 AM on July 28, 2010

Anthropologie makes me want to raze and salt the earth entire.
posted by Think_Long at 10:43 AM on July 28, 2010

The current Levi's Working-Class fetish ads are making me seriously reconsider never going outside ever again.

Putting America back to work? That's great, hey where do you make your jeans again? uh-huh? Yeah thought so
posted by The Whelk at 10:48 AM on July 28, 2010

Well, I'm wearing Levis, and I'm in my office, but I sure as shit aint doing any work right now. So, message fail I guess?
posted by Think_Long at 10:59 AM on July 28, 2010

Not fail, because you're wearing the Levis. Message lie.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:46 AM on July 28, 2010

OH HELLO.
posted by Think_Long at 8:40 AM on July 29, 2010

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
posted by The Whelk at 8:40 AM on July 29, 2010

Molten love flowing around your ankles
posted by Burhanistan at 8:43 AM on July 29, 2010

I've heard worse pick-up lines.
posted by The Whelk at 8:44 AM on July 29, 2010

Hey, baby. The lighting here really shadows your underbite.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:46 AM on July 29, 2010

"If you worked out more you could be really cute!"

actual real life example
posted by The Whelk at 8:47 AM on July 29, 2010

Baby, you're so hot you put the steam in low self-esteem.
posted by Think_Long at 8:47 AM on July 29, 2010

Justin Bieber on a Segway. That is all.
posted by Think_Long at 8:51 AM on July 29, 2010

I'm rich and my butler surfs.
posted by pianomover at 10:27 AM on July 29, 2010

last word
posted by Think_Long at 12:20 PM on July 29, 2010

Sure, and someone scoffed when I said this could be the longest MetaTalk thread.
posted by TochterAusElysium at 12:30 PM on July 29, 2010

It won't go the distance.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:35 PM on July 29, 2010

I've been in longer meetup threads.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:37 PM on July 29, 2010

He's going the distance.
posted by homunculus at 12:40 PM on July 29, 2010

He's going for speed.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:51 PM on July 29, 2010

He's going for the Big O.
posted by wierdo at 3:13 PM on July 29, 2010

This was the unofficial theme song of Comic-Con 2010. It was EVERYWHERE.

SO CATCHY IT HURTS
posted by The Whelk at 3:42 PM on July 29, 2010

Is that what was making people stab each other in the eyes?
posted by Artw at 3:44 PM on July 29, 2010

No it was the sudden realization they where standing in a long-ass RESIDENT EVIL line.
posted by The Whelk at 3:51 PM on July 29, 2010

BEWARE HALL H - now that's awesome cosplay.
posted by Artw at 3:54 PM on July 29, 2010

I've been playing Wii Resident Evil on my exercise bike. Every headshot is a triumph against the laws of physics.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 3:56 PM on July 29, 2010

The extreme costume devotion is one my favorite things about Comic-Con.

Pretty much everything about it isn't on the list, but then again i never paid for a ticket soooooo...
posted by The Whelk at 3:56 PM on July 29, 2010

He's going for the Big O .

That tune sounds awfully familliar.
posted by homunculus at 4:00 PM on July 29, 2010

Oh lets all play some hide and go seek
posted by The Whelk at 4:41 PM on July 29, 2010

Where to hide the Afikomen
posted by not_on_display at 7:01 PM on July 29, 2010

Hide the salami
posted by pianomover at 8:01 PM on July 29, 2010

I feel moonbeams burn.
posted by h00py at 1:31 AM on July 30, 2010

So how long do non-meetup MeTa threads stay open, anyway?
posted by paisley henosis at 5:59 AM on July 30, 2010

Uh, duh? They stay open until Closing Time.
posted by Think_Long at 7:36 AM on July 30, 2010

I think it would be funny if they made it so this particular thread never closes.
posted by FishBike at 7:38 AM on July 30, 2010

Always Be Closing
posted by Burhanistan at 7:39 AM on July 30, 2010

What's the 30 Rock "ABC: Always Be C____" joke? It annoys me that I can't remember it.
posted by Think_Long at 8:16 AM on July 30, 2010

CORTEX SAVES THE DAY
posted by The Whelk at 8:45 AM on July 30, 2010

I wouldn't call that "saving".
posted by Burhanistan at 8:52 AM on July 30, 2010

Cortex salves the day?
posted by The Whelk at 8:55 AM on July 30, 2010

Cortex seizes the day?
posted by shakespeherian at 8:56 AM on July 30, 2010

Randomizes the data.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:57 AM on July 30, 2010

Seize this, honkus!
posted by shakespeherian at 8:58 AM on July 30, 2010

Always Be Sno-Coning.
posted by The Whelk at 9:01 AM on July 30, 2010

Honkify that jazz, cat.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:22 AM on July 30, 2010

Always be Caterwauling.
posted by Think_Long at 9:37 AM on July 30, 2010

Always Be Cantankerous
posted by The Whelk at 9:40 AM on July 30, 2010

Make no mistake...
posted by Burhanistan at 9:45 AM on July 30, 2010

Also, bright canaries?
posted by Think_Long at 9:48 AM on July 30, 2010

Let me tell you about my best friend.
posted by pianomover at 9:51 AM on July 30, 2010

Hello!
posted by Burhanistan at 10:23 AM on July 30, 2010

Hello?
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 AM on July 30, 2010

She made a photo realistic bust of him just from hearing his voice. They were all coked up on that one.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:32 AM on July 30, 2010

His voice contains enough data for her to reconstruct his entire facial structure. She's the leader in Audio-Vibratory Physiological Reconstruction Forensics.
posted by The Whelk at 10:33 AM on July 30, 2010

Hello!
posted by The Whelk at 10:35 AM on July 30, 2010

Say Hello to my Johnson.
posted by wierdo at 11:04 AM on July 30, 2010

I want you to play with my ding-a-ling.
posted by homunculus at 11:18 AM on July 30, 2010

THIS ACT IS OVER!
posted by The Whelk at 11:18 AM on July 30, 2010

SHOW OFF
posted by zarq at 11:34 AM on July 30, 2010

You know what? As far as musicals go, I think "Annie get your Gun" is pretty great.

In case any of you were wondering what my opinion on that matter was.
posted by Think_Long at 12:01 PM on July 30, 2010

But here's a question: Does Blues Brothers count as a musical?
posted by Artw at 12:12 PM on July 30, 2010

Hmmmm. I would say that the songs being non-original and relatively unnecessary for the plot means it's not a musical.

Then again, I'm pretty sure I'm wrong about that.
posted by Think_Long at 12:55 PM on July 30, 2010

Wouldn't that make Moulin Rouge not a musical?
posted by shakespeherian at 1:01 PM on July 30, 2010

Dude, Rawhide was totally integral to the plot.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:02 PM on July 30, 2010

I would say that the songs being non-original and relatively unnecessary for the plot means it's not a musical.

Despite Burhanistan's espousal of the importance of the performance of "Rawhide" as a pivotal moment in the Blues Brothers' narrative arc, indicating, perhaps, the brothers' willingness to become less authentic, to compromise their artistic vision in pursuit of their larger goal, thereby learning important lessons about self-sacrifice for the common good, I don't think Blues Brothers is the best case to study.

shakespeherian uncovers more fertile ground for enquiry in Moulin Rouge, where non-original songs were used, and in some cases, adapted, to fit the plot. Whether the songs are integral to the story is definitely arguable, but they are clearly intended to amplify the narrative, and often serve to illuminate characters' emotional states. For instance, where another film might show an anguished conversation about betrayal and fidelity, Moulin Rouge has the Roxanne Tango to clarify Christian's mental and emotional state. The musical numbers carry significant emotional weight, and the overall emotional and artistic impact of Moulin Rouge would be diminished if they were removed, which I think makes a strong case for it to be classed as a movie musical.

This has been my plate of beans (the musical fruit), for the day, and yes, it was delicious.
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:53 PM on July 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

I just liked it when he cracked the whip.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:55 PM on July 30, 2010

What about when James Brown shows them the light?
posted by Artw at 2:02 PM on July 30, 2010

You raise an interesting point, Artw. Especially when one considers whether a character like Jake truly could have been touched by anything less than a soul-wrenching, sweat-drenched, gospel extravaganza. And whether, without that divine motivating fire, he truly would have had the persuasive power to reunite his divided band, even going so far as to sunder relationships (with the emotional fallout of his charismatic pull intensely conveyed by Aretha Franklin in "Think.")

Blues Brothers is truly a fascinating edge case, occupying a liminal state between the movie musical and the musical movie: at ease in neither category, yet serving admirably to illuminate the condition of both.
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:52 PM on July 30, 2010

oh good, this reminded me to get the blues bros. I was just watching a DVD of SNL's 4th season, and they were the musical guest, and Carrie Fisher hosted. I don't think the movie had come out yet when the episode was aired.
posted by not_on_display at 3:26 PM on July 30, 2010

Question: If pleated pants are so unfashionable compared to flat-front pants, why do they even bother pleating them in the first place?

And why do they put them on super-sale for us guys who don't know any better to purchase them without consultation?
posted by Think_Long at 9:59 AM on July 31, 2010

Pleated pants are for fat people, like me.
posted by wierdo at 10:56 AM on July 31, 2010

I have had the score to Into The Woods stuck in my head ALL DAY. The lyrics are blurring together with my Metafilter breaks.
posted by The Whelk at 5:22 PM on July 31, 2010

I've never seen anybody in pleated pants who wouldn't have looked better in normal ones, personally.

I've read that some people have thighs much thicker than you would expect from their waist size, and that the pleats give them room for their muscle-y/fatty thighs.
posted by paisley henosis at 5:27 PM on July 31, 2010

I've read that some people have thighs much thicker than you would expect from their waist size, and that the pleats give them room for their muscle-y/fatty thighs.

This is true, however I agree with the above sentiment, in 90% of cases pleats make a man's legs look funny.
posted by The Whelk at 5:30 PM on July 31, 2010

Depends on how close the pleat is to the hem, really.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:06 PM on July 31, 2010

That's what she said.


?
posted by Think_Long at 6:12 PM on July 31, 2010

She was the seamstress with the um, mostess.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:51 PM on July 31, 2010

Mostest, even.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:51 PM on July 31, 2010

Dizzy from the meat.
posted by pianomover at 12:46 AM on August 1, 2010

I've never really liked the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" and it is ab-so-lute-ly stuck in my head; talk about an earworm. Maybe I need to go watch a video for "Rock Me Amadeus" or something to try to displace it.
posted by maxwelton at 1:10 AM on August 1, 2010

My husband looks good in pleated pants precisely because his legs are so very long and thin (slap some pantyhose on and he would look like a Las Vegas show girl.) While he looks like a rock star in jeans, pleated pants give him a bit of gravitas, a dash of elegance.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:09 AM on August 1, 2010

maxwelton:
I've never really liked the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" and it is ab-so-lute-ly stuck in my head; talk about an earworm.

Oh maaaaan, thanks for passing that along. There goes my whole day.
posted by paisley henosis at 6:16 AM on August 1, 2010

Breaking News: Monkeys hate flying squirrels, report monkey-annoyance experts
posted by homunculus at 11:05 AM on August 1, 2010

MOOSE AND SQUIRREL

ack, wrong thread
posted by The Whelk at 11:11 AM on August 1, 2010

The darkness approaches!
posted by homunculus at 12:10 AM on August 2, 2010

In 1985, Austrian "rock" "singer" Falco records Rock Me, Amadeus.
posted by maxwelton at 1:51 AM on August 2, 2010

The system goes online on August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware 2:14 AM, Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.
posted by seanyboy at 4:13 AM on August 2, 2010

And?! What happened next?!? Did the humans win?
posted by Think_Long at 8:38 AM on August 2, 2010

Yeah, pretty much.
posted by klangklangston at 8:39 AM on August 2, 2010

Well - apart from the whole "not winning" bit.
posted by seanyboy at 8:48 AM on August 2, 2010

The humans elected a Terminator for Governor of California. Nobody really won.
posted by homunculus at 9:46 AM on August 2, 2010

SkyNet
posted by wierdo at 9:50 AM on August 2, 2010

The Secret Mission of the Terminator
posted by homunculus at 9:55 AM on August 2, 2010

Brace yourself for Telenoid R1, the minimalist humanoid robot
posted by homunculus at 9:59 AM on August 2, 2010

Girlfriend in a coma, I know, I know, it's serious.
posted by homunculus at 11:17 AM on August 2, 2010

Dude, Girlfriend in a coma!
posted by The Whelk at 12:11 PM on August 2, 2010

I'm a little shocked a clueless big business hasn't used "Girlfriend in a Coma" as the backing track to a TV commercial, given the industry's track record of grabbing songs with a catchy refrain which seems to fit their product without bothering to listen to the entire tune.
posted by maxwelton at 1:05 PM on August 2, 2010

My dog snores in, possibly, the most entertaining way any creature can possibly snore. Every time he breaths out (or in, whichever one causes the noise, I can't tell) it sounds dramatically different from the previous snore. Most of the time they're even rhythmic.

Wild stuff.
posted by paisley henosis at 4:32 PM on August 2, 2010

Which one is yours?
posted by homunculus at 4:59 PM on August 2, 2010

Andy Prieboy's Tomorrow, Wendy vs Concrete Blonde's Tomorrow, Wendy.
posted by h00py at 5:09 AM on August 3, 2010

I just wanted to say that.
posted by h00py at 5:10 AM on August 3, 2010

Celestial Soul Portrait.
posted by pianomover at 8:29 AM on August 3, 2010

Leonard Cohen's Everybody Knows vs. Concrete Blonde's Everybody Knows.
posted by homunculus at 9:08 AM on August 3, 2010

Bob Dylan's Simple Twist of Fate vs. Concrete Blondes Simple Twist of Fate.
posted by pianomover at 12:40 PM on August 3, 2010

OMG YOU GUYS I HAVE PROOF THERE ARE SPIES AT METAFILTER

Notice this

and then

this
posted by The Whelk at 7:12 AM on August 4, 2010

Lady Gaga is spying on us?
posted by homunculus at 8:20 AM on August 4, 2010

“I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina.”
posted by homunculus at 8:21 AM on August 4, 2010

There is a long tradition across cultures in the believe that withholding sex concentrates and purifies your essence or whatever, and being free with it taps your "spirit". The Victorians liked the use the machine metaphor for this a lot, Dutch farmers compared it to a larder of seed. It even pops up in Necromicon if I remember.

Which I think is puritanical nonsense. I'm more productive the more actively amours I am, but there you go.
posted by The Whelk at 8:28 AM on August 4, 2010

I think Lady Gaga is more suited to be a Dick Tracy newspaper-strip villain. Her costumes usually have that sort of depression-era gothic vaudeville feeling, and I'm sure Tracy would have a fantastic quip upon her demise:

"Looks like the Lady Gaga is Ga-Gone"
posted by Think_Long at 8:33 AM on August 4, 2010

I just want her to scream "Curses Batman!" just once while being attacked by some 30s-Nosferatu-by-Dior creature.

Can't I have this one thing?
posted by The Whelk at 8:35 AM on August 4, 2010

I'd rather see her seduce Terry (Batman Beyond) right in front of Maxine and Dana, right before she tries to rip out his heart.
posted by Think_Long at 9:00 AM on August 4, 2010

I'm sure Tracy would have a fantastic quip upon her demise

Her shockingly gory and angular high-contrast demise, orchestrated over the better part of a week in weird jump cuts and oblique shots. Dick Tracy's continued existence as a daily strip is wonderful to me in a way less ironic than that of most of the stuff Josh Fruhlinger writes about. I love to loathe Mary Worth, but I just kind of plain love Dick Tracy.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:26 AM on August 4, 2010

Nothing on the newspaper page looks like Dick Tracy.
posted by The Whelk at 9:30 AM on August 4, 2010

Yeah, as much as fruhlinger teases, Tracy has the most unique style and, in my opinion, uses the black/white contrast better than any other strip around.
posted by Think_Long at 9:45 AM on August 4, 2010

This is how horror movies begin.
posted by Think_Long at 11:39 AM on August 4, 2010

On one hand I'd like to rent a cabin near NYC myself on the other hand my wall of horror paperbacks and slasher films let me show you it.
posted by The Whelk at 11:59 AM on August 4, 2010

My only hope is that so many serial killers descend on the cabin at once and fight amongst themselves long enough for me to escape.
posted by The Whelk at 12:00 PM on August 4, 2010

A Rather Strange Conversation with William Shatner
posted by zarq at 12:46 PM on August 4, 2010

Wait, Shatner is starring on that Shit My Dad Says show which actually exists and was made?

I need a dream totem to prove this is real, quick, how many fingers am I holding up?
posted by The Whelk at 12:50 PM on August 4, 2010

Eleventeen.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:51 PM on August 4, 2010

I need a dream totem to prove this is real, quick, how many fingers am I holding up?

It looks like just one to me.
posted by FishBike at 12:51 PM on August 4, 2010

That's not his finger.
posted by homunculus at 1:09 PM on August 4, 2010

Whelks have antennae
posted by zarq at 1:11 PM on August 4, 2010

Shatner's got big antennae, that hang low when he walks.
posted by not_on_display at 5:07 PM on August 4, 2010

This is my shell there are many like it but this is my own. Without me, my shell is useless. Without the shell, I am useless

do not attack the shell
posted by The Whelk at 5:37 PM on August 4, 2010

Oh, hello there. I didn't even hear you come in.
posted by Think_Long at 8:18 AM on August 5, 2010

I am always inside of you.
posted by The Whelk at 8:24 AM on August 5, 2010

I swat away your impostor atman like a weak jump shot.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:54 AM on August 5, 2010

The best part about getting a new job is the last two weeks of your old job. My god, I barely even came into the office today.
posted by Think_Long at 9:11 AM on August 5, 2010

I have never known anybody who had to work their notice period. People I know who have quit their jobs have been told to gather their things, leave immediately, and enjoy their two weeks of getting paid to not work.

Also, I am extremely creeped out by The Whelk. I can only think of Nine Inch Nails.
posted by wierdo at 11:43 AM on August 5, 2010

My job is done.
posted by The Whelk at 12:28 PM on August 5, 2010

Also, I am extremely creeped out by The Whelk.

This is pretty much how I end all of my conversations these days.

"Thanks for dinner Ma, say hi to dad for me. Also, I am extremely creeped out by The Whelk."
posted by Think_Long at 12:53 PM on August 5, 2010

I am extremely creeped out by The Whelk.
posted by The Whelk at 12:56 PM on August 5, 2010

Did you know that landfills burn? And when they do they smell like burning plastic? Absolutely true.
posted by wierdo at 1:54 PM on August 5, 2010

MA, WIERDO SET THE LANDFILL ON FIRE AGAIN!
posted by zarq at 1:55 PM on August 5, 2010

Burning diapers are offerings to Vulcan.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:56 PM on August 5, 2010

Paging Dr. Spock
posted by The Whelk at 2:12 PM on August 5, 2010

Soggy diapers are not a good offering to Pam.
posted by homunculus at 2:14 PM on August 5, 2010

zarq wrote: "MA, WIERDO SET THE LANDFILL ON FIRE AGAIN"

Don't say that. I have them thinking it was lightning.
posted by wierdo at 2:28 PM on August 5, 2010

An effective offering to Pam is a barbie doll in a Chanel outfit smeared with blood.
posted by The Whelk at 2:29 PM on August 5, 2010

Midichlorians are random juxtapositions.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:31 PM on August 5, 2010

MA, ZEUS SET THE LANDFILL ON FIRE AGAIN!!
posted by zarq at 2:34 PM on August 5, 2010

Perfect. Now Zeus is sulking in the corner, grumbling how nobody ever suspects Thor when a landfill is on fire.
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:56 PM on August 5, 2010

Zeus has been sulking ever since he heard Thor is getting his own movie.
posted by homunculus at 3:19 PM on August 5, 2010

Brian Blessed should play Zeus if they ever make a Wonder Woman film, assuming it includes the gods.
posted by homunculus at 3:21 PM on August 5, 2010

Zeus should be a muppet.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:31 PM on August 5, 2010

I just want to thank all the little people out there.
posted by pianomover at 4:04 PM on August 5, 2010

Allow me to say that this "The First 48 Hours" show is pretty engrossing.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:12 PM on August 5, 2010

In the myths, Zeus often assumed the form of an animal when courting mortal women. Here he is in the form of a reindeer. Sly old thing.
posted by homunculus at 4:17 PM on August 5, 2010

WHO FUCKS A SWAN?
posted by The Whelk at 4:43 PM on August 5, 2010

Whack faun sows!
posted by Burhanistan at 4:46 PM on August 5, 2010

Pretty good, eh?
posted by Burhanistan at 4:46 PM on August 5, 2010

A fawn sucks how?
posted by Burhanistan at 4:49 PM on August 5, 2010

Cash as funk, wow!
posted by Burhanistan at 4:50 PM on August 5, 2010

Funk as Suck, and how!
posted by The Whelk at 4:51 PM on August 5, 2010

How now, skunk chow?
posted by fleacircus at 5:18 PM on August 5, 2010

Hey! You're supposed to nag a ram not just riff!
posted by Burhanistan at 5:19 PM on August 5, 2010

RAM MY NAG RIFF
posted by The Whelk at 5:20 PM on August 5, 2010

Anagrams are so 4:46 PM on August. All the kids riff these days.
posted by fleacircus at 6:04 PM on August 5, 2010

                                                  ^{^5}
posted by fleacircus at 6:06 PM on August 5, 2010

Who wants a hug?
posted by The Whelk at 6:21 PM on August 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

The hug contains sodium benzoate.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:29 PM on August 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

that's bad!
posted by The Whelk at 6:35 PM on August 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

And ferrous sulfur, whatever that is.
posted by wierdo at 6:42 PM on August 5, 2010

That's good!
posted by The Whelk at 6:59 PM on August 5, 2010

Wait wait wait.

Shit.

It's potassium benzoate.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:29 PM on August 5, 2010

The only way to get what you want is to become a moderator yourself.



My dear, sweet user. That's what I do. It's what I live for.
To help unfortunate metafolk like yourself.
Poor users with no one else to rant to.

I admit that in the past I've been a troll
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, an asshole
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, made an account, a brand new day

To this
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always rank well against.
And lately, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, the flagged and unfavorited. (pathetic)

Poor unfortunate users
flaming out, in need
This one longing to be popular
That one wants to be in the right
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate Mefites
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, "Favorites Whelk Please!
And I click them!
Yes I do

Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to take them to Mods
Yes I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls
posted by The Whelk at 9:01 PM on August 5, 2010

i knew that was a Little Mermaid parody three lines in WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:25 PM on August 5, 2010

How do mermaids reproduce, anyway?
posted by maxwelton at 9:33 PM on August 5, 2010

Now listen I will make you an account that will turn you into a Moderator for three days, go that?

Three days.

Now listen this is imortant, before the sun sets on the third day you've gto to get cortex to fall in love with you.

Which means, he's got to favorite you.

Not just any favorite, a favorite of true devotion.

If he does favorite you before the sun sets on the third day, you remain a Moderator permanently. If not, you turn back into a lurker.,

And you belong to me.
posted by The Whelk at 9:34 PM on August 5, 2010

Is it too late for the hug?
posted by fleacircus at 9:47 PM on August 5, 2010

Speaking of Disney Musicals I walys thought this was a steel drum and simple drum track away from being a hit for a Jimmy Buffet or his current analog.

Kind of like how think if this song was written 40 years earlier been a huge hit but is ruined by Madonna's Not-Singing.
posted by The Whelk at 9:52 PM on August 5, 2010

But I'm watching this so what do I know
posted by The Whelk at 9:54 PM on August 5, 2010

Could be worse.
posted by EvaDestruction at 10:13 PM on August 5, 2010

But—who cares.

No big deal.

I want more!
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:33 PM on August 5, 2010

You Can't Always Get What You Want.
posted by adamvasco at 12:21 AM on August 6, 2010

I Want You
posted by homunculus at 11:44 AM on August 6, 2010

Is corned beef or pastrami any more unhealthy than other lunchmeats like ham or turkey? I hope not.
posted by Think_Long at 1:13 PM on August 6, 2010

Factory farmed lunchmeat will give you AIDS.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:16 PM on August 6, 2010

> I want more!

So do I!
posted by Burhanistan at 1:18 PM on August 6, 2010

You wanted more?
posted by wierdo at 2:11 PM on August 6, 2010

How dare you follow Can with Tonic.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:13 PM on August 6, 2010

A majority of the threads on my "recent activity" page are from Meta Talk. Does that mean I'm a poor contributor to the site?
posted by Think_Long at 2:42 PM on August 6, 2010

“How dare you follow Can with Tonic”

Um, the best tonic comes in a can.
posted by wierdo at 3:38 PM on August 6, 2010

A majority of the threads on my "recent activity" page are from Meta Talk. Does that mean I'm a poor contributor to the site?

It means you're fighting the Boss Level.
posted by The Whelk at 5:07 PM on August 6, 2010

This is not a love song
posted by homunculus at 5:33 PM on August 6, 2010

Wait, which thread am I in?
posted by homunculus at 5:35 PM on August 6, 2010

Oh no, you cross-threaded MetaFilter?
posted by FishBike at 5:36 PM on August 6, 2010

This is not a love song
posted by The Whelk at 5:36 PM on August 6, 2010

This is a slug song.
posted by fleacircus at 6:55 PM on August 6, 2010

This is a love song.
posted by wierdo at 7:51 PM on August 6, 2010

This is a far more chill slug song.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:11 PM on August 6, 2010

This is a bug bong.
posted by fleacircus at 12:36 AM on August 7, 2010

This is a song to the siren.
posted by homunculus at 1:08 AM on August 7, 2010

Hitler-cake update
posted by Artw at 1:17 AM on August 7, 2010

So when does thing close up. I'm eager to make the last comment in it.
posted by seanyboy at 5:46 AM on August 7, 2010

So am I.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 7:42 AM on August 7, 2010

Should be quite the load test; like sewer systems during the Stanley Cup.
posted by Mitheral at 8:24 AM on August 7, 2010

Heh. "Load" test.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:35 AM on August 7, 2010

This is a promentalshitbackwashpsychosisenema song.
posted by homunculus at 8:39 AM on August 7, 2010

Aug 15, 4:15 PM (EDT)
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:07 AM on August 7, 2010

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
posted by The Whelk at 9:23 AM on August 7, 2010

Unless it gets closed early. You have to make the most of the present; no user knows which comment will be their last, only Fate and the Mods know that. Post, link, and be merry, for tomorrow we're archived.
posted by homunculus at 9:34 AM on August 7, 2010

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)
posted by The Whelk at 9:43 AM on August 7, 2010

Clara Bow
posted by adamvasco at 11:46 AM on August 7, 2010

A roar of welkome through the welkin
Is certain proof you'll find the Elk in;
But if you listen to the shell,
In which the Whelk is said to dwell,
And hear a roar, beyond a doubt
It indicates the Whelk is out.
posted by homunculus at 1:33 PM on August 7, 2010

. . . . . . Anyone else around tonight? I know it's Saturday and all, but there's no way everyone around here is cooler than me. What about you non-USians? Let's talk global issues.
posted by Think_Long at 8:49 PM on August 7, 2010

I'm much less cool. The highlight of my evening will be going to a restaurant at about 12:15. ;)
posted by wierdo at 9:03 PM on August 7, 2010

Oh, and how about that Pete, he's on fire! (thanks, I'll be here all week)
posted by wierdo at 9:03 PM on August 7, 2010

Let's talk global issues.

Indonesian Parliament Broadcasts Porn
posted by homunculus at 10:02 PM on August 7, 2010

Secret Life of Gravy: Aug 15, 4:15 PM (EDT

Bah! Nobody will remember for that long!
posted by paisley henosis at 10:07 PM on August 7, 2010

Oh hey I splet through a 3-alarm fire a block away from me awesome
posted by The Whelk at 8:09 AM on August 8, 2010

also for some reason today my voice is oddly brassy. I should go make some dramatic monologues
posted by The Whelk at 8:10 AM on August 8, 2010

You should also smoke from an obscenely long cigarette holder a la Cruela De Ville
posted by Think_Long at 8:52 AM on August 8, 2010

DARLING!
posted by The Whelk at 8:53 AM on August 8, 2010

What is it now, dear?
posted by wierdo at 12:22 PM on August 8, 2010

To hell with the chives, they're not the boss of me.
posted by The Whelk at 1:00 PM on August 8, 2010

Their little roots kinda creep me out.
posted by Think_Long at 2:03 PM on August 8, 2010

You know what creeps me out? The odd stalky flowering plant that grew up next to my rosemary. Seriously.
posted by wierdo at 2:11 PM on August 8, 2010

IT LIKES THE SWEET TASTE.
posted by The Whelk at 2:13 PM on August 8, 2010

I can't tell if my Lavender and Rosemary just like growing together or are trying to strange each other.
posted by The Whelk at 2:14 PM on August 8, 2010

Do you mean interbreeding or strangling?
posted by wierdo at 2:17 PM on August 8, 2010

either or.
posted by The Whelk at 2:19 PM on August 8, 2010

Do you mean interbreeding or strangling?

That's a strange way to proposition someone.
posted by Think_Long at 4:17 PM on August 8, 2010

It only works 1% of the time, but when it works ...it works.
posted by The Whelk at 4:27 PM on August 8, 2010

If only every expression of love could involve two such opposite results: the end of a life, or the creation of a new (albeit genetically compromised) one.
posted by Think_Long at 4:34 PM on August 8, 2010

I'm hungry.
posted by homunculus at 5:38 PM on August 8, 2010

Is this where we can talk about True Blood and Mad Men later?
posted by The Whelk at 5:43 PM on August 8, 2010

Ooh, a vampire burrito would really hit the spot.
posted by homunculus at 5:49 PM on August 8, 2010

TMI, man.
posted by wierdo at 7:28 PM on August 8, 2010

I WILL CUT YOU!
posted by homunculus at 7:59 PM on August 8, 2010

At some point metaphors just become too concrete, I'm looking at you Mr. Northman.
posted by The Whelk at 8:09 PM on August 8, 2010

Way.
posted by The Whelk at 8:11 PM on August 8, 2010

this was the most Buffy-Esque episode ever, in a good way.
posted by The Whelk at 8:12 PM on August 8, 2010

This is hardly fair, I don't watch True Blood or Mad Men. I will not let this thread leave me behind!
posted by Think_Long at 8:47 PM on August 8, 2010

WHY DON'T YOU GO SIT WITH THE COOL KIDS THEN LOSER.
posted by The Whelk at 8:50 PM on August 8, 2010

THEY TOLD ME THEY DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH CHAIRS, BUT IT WAS NOTHING PERSONAL.

Also I don't have cable.

Also I'm sick of Vampires.

Also I walked into Banana Republic the other day and they were like "Do you act? You should try out for our Mad Men casting call!" As if the Mad Men guys wore Banana Republic when we all know they shop at Kohls*.

* "Does this St. John's bay pullover make me look too . . . vein? "
posted by Think_Long at 8:58 PM on August 8, 2010

er, that was a pun based on the vampire thing, not the sexy midcentury thing. whatevs, time for bed.
posted by Think_Long at 8:59 PM on August 8, 2010

Also I walked into Banana Republic the other day and they were like "Do you act? You should try out for our Mad Men casting call!"

Oh god I've seeing that. You know it's gonna be a reality show thing YOU KNOW IT.

THey can;t even get the tie designs right, ugh. By the six-degrees game I've already been on Mad Men eight times. The pilot had a scene at my former job!

Exciting I know.

I am however, kinda on Bored To Death. My book is in the comic nerd's apartment soooo...
posted by The Whelk at 9:07 PM on August 8, 2010

and by the six-degrees game I've been on True Blood. Thanks ColdChef!
posted by The Whelk at 9:08 PM on August 8, 2010

Six easy steps for a vampire to survive a werewolf attack.
posted by homunculus at 12:56 AM on August 9, 2010

I am however, kinda on Bored To Death. My book is in the comic nerd's apartment soooo...

Is the set dresser a fan? Or is this some very subtle product placement? Pepsi Whelk.
posted by Think_Long at 4:43 AM on August 9, 2010

GONADS IN SPACE
posted by Burhanistan at 7:51 AM on August 9, 2010

Is the set dresser a fan?

Kinda! There's this web of people connected to the show that I am by-association connected to, mostly via comics.
posted by The Whelk at 7:53 AM on August 9, 2010

First Lorena, now Talbot. All they wanted was to be loved. Must all the passionate vampires die? Tragic.
posted by homunculus at 9:23 AM on August 9, 2010

the opening scene's drama was undercut, for me, by the fact that Bill's blood-tear stains made him look like a sad clown.

The tone of this episode was all over the place, frantic, screaming, sped-up, people acting off-character and going off into their own little nightmare heads and isn't that cute they managed to be broke up for 12 whole hours.

I liked it but, but every-time Crystal or Alice comes on screen I think "this is taking away from time that could be spent watching Sophie-Anne yell at her parrot."
posted by The Whelk at 9:28 AM on August 9, 2010

Adlice. God even his name is stupid.
posted by The Whelk at 9:30 AM on August 9, 2010

But then Jessica makes it all better. "Hey, get back here!" Poor werewolf.
posted by homunculus at 10:46 AM on August 9, 2010

Battle Jessica is so cute when she's slaughtering things!
posted by The Whelk at 10:53 AM on August 9, 2010

Wait, people still watch true blood?
posted by wierdo at 11:38 AM on August 9, 2010

yes, usually on sundays.

It's got vampires in it and stuff.
posted by The Whelk at 12:07 PM on August 9, 2010

Psssh, vampires. Wake me when sexy minotaurs are back in fashion.
posted by Think_Long at 3:16 PM on August 9, 2010

Wake me when sexy skeksis are back in fashion.
posted by fleacircus at 4:56 PM on August 9, 2010

You know, I tried to watch the Dark Crystal for the first time since I was about 6 the other night because it has all this cult status. I was so so bored. Maybe I'll have to give it another shot.

Also, wake me when sexy triffids are back in fashion.
posted by Think_Long at 5:02 PM on August 9, 2010

Sexy mythical beasts never went out of style, you mindless fashion slaves!
posted by Burhanistan at 5:03 PM on August 9, 2010

This is going to turn into Centaur-Porn, right?

I'll see myself out.
posted by The Whelk at 5:16 PM on August 9, 2010

"Hey, google 'boytaur'. No, right now." is among my ten favorite things I've ever shouted at a sibling at a family dinner.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:27 PM on August 9, 2010

*turns into giant lobster centaur* ^wtf
*mounts Whelk*
posted by fleacircus at 5:31 PM on August 9, 2010

Lobstaur.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:40 PM on August 9, 2010

Avataur
posted by Think_Long at 6:48 PM on August 9, 2010

oh god i just read the magicians oh god
posted by The Whelk at 7:37 PM on August 9, 2010

Good "oh god" or bad "oh god"?
posted by Think_Long at 8:03 PM on August 9, 2010

I'm going to a mental bad centaur place right now.
posted by The Whelk at 8:06 PM on August 9, 2010

Why it's a bad idea to "turn your backside" on a naked vampire in True Blood
posted by homunculus at 8:09 PM on August 9, 2010

Words to unlive by, homunculus.
posted by maxwelton at 9:28 PM on August 9, 2010

What the fuck mefi? It's been a whole day and no one has made any comments. This is the only thread I'm interested in at the moment. AM I NOT ENTERTAINED?

NO!
posted by Think_Long at 3:46 PM on August 10, 2010

It had actually only been a little over eighteen hours.

Also, I gotta say, I think "lobstaur" was pretty choice and I just want to repeat it here because, damn.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:49 PM on August 10, 2010

Yeah, lobstaur was pretty good. You can go ahead and close this up now.
posted by Think_Long at 4:17 PM on August 10, 2010

Lobstaur
posted by homunculus at 4:24 PM on August 10, 2010

I've sure missed this thread.
posted by Nabubrush at 4:26 PM on August 10, 2010

Also, that gum you like is back in style.
posted by Nabubrush at 4:29 PM on August 10, 2010

I don't....like gum?
posted by The Whelk at 4:34 PM on August 10, 2010

Um and I just say Inception? and like, stuff?

I'm going to an isolated cabin for a week soon sooo whatevers.
posted by The Whelk at 4:34 PM on August 10, 2010

Just saw

Oh and can I publically congrats cortex on his awesome Steward Folk Song? I'm doing it now. I play-ed it for the bar tonight.
posted by The Whelk at 4:35 PM on August 10, 2010

That gum you like is back in style.
posted by Nabubrush at 5:03 PM on August 10, 2010

That style you like is back in gum, but I have no YouTube link. Maybe someone could help me with that?
posted by wierdo at 12:24 PM on August 11, 2010

Here's a YouTube link to a new Grinderman video (nsfw). It has nothing to do with gum, I hope that's okay.
posted by homunculus at 2:13 PM on August 11, 2010

LOLLIPOP
posted by The Whelk at 11:01 PM on August 11, 2010

LOLLIPOP
posted by pianomover at 11:15 PM on August 11, 2010

LOLLIPOP
posted by The Whelk at 11:17 PM on August 11, 2010

Lolly Lolly Lolly get your adverbs here
posted by homunculus at 12:57 AM on August 12, 2010

Loblolly
posted by adamvasco at 2:12 AM on August 12, 2010

Lol Coxhill
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:11 AM on August 12, 2010

Lobstrosity.
posted by fleacircus at 12:25 PM on August 12, 2010

Lobstaur porn
posted by homunculus at 10:30 PM on August 12, 2010

Beautiful lobs.
posted by h00py at 6:39 AM on August 13, 2010

Can I hang out here?
posted by The Whelk at 7:55 AM on August 13, 2010

Nope
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:03 AM on August 13, 2010

I HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO GO!
posted by The Whelk at 8:03 AM on August 13, 2010

I got nothin' else... You'd best be hiding that tattoo under a very large bandaid, that's all I'm saying.
posted by h00py at 8:47 AM on August 13, 2010

I also thought of "An Officer and a Gentleman" when I saw The Whelk's impassioned disclosure.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:48 AM on August 13, 2010

"My grandmother wants to fly jets!"
posted by Burhanistan at 8:49 AM on August 13, 2010

Me too.
posted by homunculus at 8:49 AM on August 13, 2010

Who wants to lift and carry me out of my dreary factory life?
posted by The Whelk at 8:50 AM on August 13, 2010

Mayo probably got stuck flying cargo planes anyway.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:53 AM on August 13, 2010

So ...um ...what was the last thing you ate?

How about that ...weather?


Go ...sportland sports?


I'm seriously just killing time until Civ 5 comes out
posted by The Whelk at 9:07 AM on August 13, 2010

That won't come out until after this thread is closed.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:17 AM on August 13, 2010

Ooh, and it has hexagonal map tiles.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:18 AM on August 13, 2010

I KNOW RIGHT?

And Art Deco style. They're being very tight-lipped about the gameplay features - I thought Beyond The Sword was excellent and finally balanced the fucking thing away from strict military might - I wonder if they're doing anything drastic (looks like they're adding more random weather events, and the terrian will be more important)

In any case, uh ...HOT DOGS?
posted by The Whelk at 9:25 AM on August 13, 2010

So I was at the movie theater and the dude-bro frat guys next to me where really loud and obnoxious, so it was weird they they stopped talking trash and just started making out.

At least it was quieter.
posted by The Whelk at 1:47 PM on August 13, 2010

I was at a Scissor Sisters concert and a couple of asshole dudebros behind me did that thing where you try to make the people in front of you at the concert uncomfortable so that they'll scoot away and you can get closer to the stage. They were like 'I'll bet he isn't even gay!' and something about that really hurt my feelings.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:01 PM on August 13, 2010

I'm sorry you felt left out (and there this whole ..genus of gay guys who are trying to out frat the frats - and the ones who use "professional" as a loaded code-word for "Be really white and middle-class, okay? " but another discussion.)

If it makes you feel any better I can award you a token of Cultural Queerness. Girls dig it.
posted by The Whelk at 2:04 PM on August 13, 2010

I saw Scott Pilgrim and I was ...disturbed about having a movie so seemingly directed at ME AND EVERYONE I KNOW PERSONALLY. I didn't know I had such a Pavlovian response to the title music from A Link To The Past
posted by The Whelk at 2:06 PM on August 13, 2010

Does it come with a big medal like the Cowardly Lion gets in The Wizard of Oz? Because that would be flippin' sweet.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:07 PM on August 13, 2010

Anything is possible, anything at all.
posted by The Whelk at 2:09 PM on August 13, 2010

I think I'd rather have the people behind me talking shit trying to get me to move than the 6' 5" hipster asshole who sidles up and wedges himself in front of me two songs into a show when I got to the venue an hour before the opener came on.
posted by Nabubrush at 2:21 PM on August 13, 2010

Ah, the 6'5" hipster... who always ends up at the front for some reason.
posted by biochemist at 3:11 PM on August 13, 2010

Magnetically drawn to it like true north.
posted by The Whelk at 3:21 PM on August 13, 2010

(presumably things are magnetically drawn to magnetic north, not true north, right?)
posted by FishBike at 3:41 PM on August 13, 2010

Fucking hipster magnets, how do they work?
posted by qvantamon at 4:18 PM on August 13, 2010

if you have to ask....
posted by The Whelk at 4:24 PM on August 13, 2010

Oh Perseids, I thought we had something going on.
posted by maxwelton at 3:40 AM on August 14, 2010

If at first you don't succeed, shoot up the local circle K.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 6:39 AM on August 14, 2010

MMMMM Baked potato pizza for breakfast.

Let's choose a topic of the day - and no, Whelk, it will not be True fucking Blood.
posted by Think_Long at 9:06 AM on August 14, 2010

EXISTANCE AND NOTHINGNESS PEOPLE
posted by The Whelk at 9:28 AM on August 14, 2010

Interesting choice - I think this dichotomy is best illustrated by the relationship between Sookie and -- oh fuck.
posted by Think_Long at 9:45 AM on August 14, 2010

At this point I'm just going to post pictures of my haircut and stuff.
posted by The Whelk at 9:48 AM on August 14, 2010

The First 21st Century Vampires

I want that issue of VQ.
posted by homunculus at 10:00 AM on August 14, 2010

This thread is in a hospice facility.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:05 PM on August 14, 2010

this thread is undead.
posted by The Whelk at 12:08 PM on August 14, 2010

It's going to be a nasty probate battle because the thread never bothered to make a will, and it has a bunch of illegitimate children.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:17 PM on August 14, 2010

No. We're all invited to a big house for a dinner party .....
posted by The Whelk at 12:36 PM on August 14, 2010

Hey, my house has a "powder room". At least that's what the floorplan says. It's more just a closet sized room with a toilet and a sink and we don't have any powder stored there. Should I be storing gunpowder and grains there?

Also, I really just did buy a handheld bidet for that room so if we play Clue we can have a The Whelk killed (#Mefi User#) in the powder room with a handheld bidet.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:08 PM on August 14, 2010

Seriously, the folks at Sanicare are your friends. Sprinkly freshness!
posted by Burhanistan at 1:09 PM on August 14, 2010

That was The Bizzaro Whelk. I'm hiding between the curtains of the ballroom ready to hit Burhanistan with the Concrete Novelty Bong.
posted by The Whelk at 1:10 PM on August 14, 2010

The powder room is also the ballroom, depending on who is using it.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:12 PM on August 14, 2010

Jessamyn, in the library, with the banhammer

Cortex, in the music room, with the banjo

Mathowie, in the driveway, with the bike.

Pb, in the server room, with a click.
posted by The Whelk at 1:15 PM on August 14, 2010

Me, in the intarnets, with the THREAD KILLAH COMMENT
posted by not_on_display at 2:38 PM on August 14, 2010

I have worked too hard to not win this thread.
posted by Think_Long at 2:46 PM on August 14, 2010

Working hard is making one comment then staying silent - watching, waiting, perfectly timing your return to snap up that last comment.

Then realising that the thread's turned into a somewhat ludicrous conversation, and spoiling your silence to point out that it's not working afterall.
posted by twirlypen at 2:51 PM on August 14, 2010

This ain't no eBay auction, this is MeTa. It's all about the glory, not collectibles.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:52 PM on August 14, 2010

I've been doing that powder room thing all wrong.
posted by Nabubrush at 2:53 PM on August 14, 2010

Wait, when does this thread close again? Is it too late to try to make this thing break the 1K comment mark?
posted by Think_Long at 3:38 PM on August 14, 2010

I have a feeling we're going to find out.
posted by Think_Long at 3:39 PM on August 14, 2010

I have worked too hard to not win this thread.

Have you bribed one of the mods yet?
posted by homunculus at 3:42 PM on August 14, 2010

It's hard to bribe when you're cooped up in these narrow tubes.
posted by wierdo at 3:56 PM on August 14, 2010

Relevant to your interests in this endeavor.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:59 PM on August 14, 2010

Man, he's kind of a terrible lyricist, isn't he?
posted by Burhanistan at 3:59 PM on August 14, 2010

I CANNOT DIE
posted by The Whelk at 4:14 PM on August 14, 2010

Just a warning y'all - this is my Waterloo. I am taking this that seriously.
posted by Think_Long at 4:24 PM on August 14, 2010

WATERLOO!
posted by The Whelk at 4:31 PM on August 14, 2010

Dammit, somebody waterlooed in the pool.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:33 PM on August 14, 2010

money money money
posted by Think_Long at 4:38 PM on August 14, 2010

Nonny nonny, hey
posted by not_on_display at 5:38 PM on August 14, 2010

It's always entertaining when I scroll down my recent activity queue and see every thread capped off by several links from homunculus.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:44 PM on August 14, 2010

. . . woah
posted by Think_Long at 6:10 PM on August 14, 2010

DON'T STOP ME NOW!
posted by The Whelk at 7:27 PM on August 14, 2010

Can't stop. Won't stop.
posted by The Whelk at 5:59 AM on August 15, 2010

That's between you and your glory-hole therapist.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:44 AM on August 15, 2010

Is that a Mr. Show skit that never was but should be?
posted by The Whelk at 7:48 AM on August 15, 2010

"it started out as dirty sex through a hole but we really got to talking about my problems and fears ...really straightened me out."
posted by The Whelk at 7:49 AM on August 15, 2010

There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance. There's a hole in the wall where you can listen to them talk about their problems and fears.
posted by homunculus at 8:52 AM on August 15, 2010

the once was a lad from Nantucket
who put a hole in a bucket
he went around town
with nary a frown
because he was having a serve manic episode requiring hospitalization and many years of therapy by highly trained professionals.
posted by The Whelk at 8:55 AM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

ha ha Whelk has no concept of rhyme or meter.
posted by Think_Long at 9:44 AM on August 15, 2010

Think_Long: Wait, when does this thread close again? Is it too late to try to make this thing break the 1K comment mark

Yep!
posted by paisley henosis at 10:30 AM on August 15, 2010

SAYS YOU!
posted by The Whelk at 11:00 AM on August 15, 2010

HEY INTERNETS!

WE'RE THE WHELKS AND WE'RE HERE TO ROCK OUT AND STUFF

ONE TWO THREE FOUR!
posted by The Whelk at 11:05 AM on August 15, 2010

*launches into cover loud and fast of "I Love The Ocean" *
posted by The Whelk at 11:28 AM on August 15, 2010

315 Comments to go!

314 now I guess.
posted by Think_Long at 11:43 AM on August 15, 2010

it's closer then it's ever been
posted by The Whelk at 11:44 AM on August 15, 2010

and now it's even closer
posted by The Whelk at 11:44 AM on August 15, 2010

now it's even closer
posted by The Whelk at 11:44 AM on August 15, 2010

now it's
posted by The Whelk at 11:45 AM on August 15, 2010

closer
posted by The Whelk at 11:45 AM on August 15, 2010

still
posted by The Whelk at 11:45 AM on August 15, 2010

Jeeze, Whelk, c'mon.
posted by paisley henosis at 12:11 PM on August 15, 2010

C'MON!
posted by The Whelk at 12:15 PM on August 15, 2010

And now for something somewhat different: Isaiah Mustafa as Luke Cage
posted by homunculus at 12:29 PM on August 15, 2010

I didn't come here to make friends.
posted by The Whelk at 12:32 PM on August 15, 2010

. . . I did.

sniff.

Whelk, I know your strategy - spam the crap out of this thread until everyone else gets fed up and removes it from their recent activity queue, but it won't work for me! NO SIR IT WON'T.
posted by Think_Long at 12:36 PM on August 15, 2010

So. It comes down to you and it comes down to me.
posted by The Whelk at 12:38 PM on August 15, 2010

Thunderdome!
posted by homunculus at 12:55 PM on August 15, 2010

CHOSE YOUR WEAPON
posted by The Whelk at 12:56 PM on August 15, 2010

   FIGHT
   STEAL
☛ MAGIC
   ITEM

posted by The Whelk at 12:59 PM on August 15, 2010

Come On
posted by adamvasco at 1:14 PM on August 15, 2010

I suppose a person could look up the thread's timestamp in the Infodump, where it's shown with millisecond precision, if they were trying to hit the end of the 30-day window for comments as closely as possible.
posted by FishBike at 1:15 PM on August 15, 2010

That's the whole point, innit?
posted by klangklangston at 1:53 PM on August 15, 2010

CAST: Dexy's Midnight Run
posted by The Whelk at 2:06 PM on August 15, 2010

That's the whole point, innit?

You mean like THE entire point of the universe? I hope not.
posted by FishBike at 2:13 PM on August 15, 2010

Maybe in your universe.
posted by The Whelk at 2:17 PM on August 15, 2010

There's a dingy looking pool hall in a strip mall on a big thoroughfare in my city called "Sharky's Machine". I've yet to investigate just how much Burt Reynolds ambiance permeates there, but I can only hope that it's a lot.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:56 PM on August 15, 2010

Ah, the internet tells me that there is no Burt there at all, but according to reviews it seems like stepping into his armpit or dirty underwear, so there's that.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:00 PM on August 15, 2010

Oh wait, tomorrow is one month.
posted by paisley henosis at 3:33 PM on August 15, 2010

Oh wait, tomorrow is one month.

And yet the message at the bottom of the thread when it's closed says "more than 30 days old", which made me wonder about how this actually works. Especially given my earlier comment that is within about 1 second of being an exact day too early (damn it).

So maybe it is >30 days, but discarding the fractional part, so it really is 31 days? It would be interesting to know what the code currently does for this.
posted by FishBike at 3:45 PM on August 15, 2010

I have a sneaking suspicion I will not have the last post on this thread. I'll probably be too busy watching The Greatest American Hero.
posted by wierdo at 3:49 PM on August 15, 2010

Also, we only have one headlight. The curse of Metafilter, I tell you.
posted by wierdo at 3:58 PM on August 15, 2010

You don't have to go home but you can't stay here
posted by The Whelk at 4:17 PM on August 15, 2010

Unless you're one of the chosen ones who gets to stay for the after party involving women on pool tables.
posted by wierdo at 4:43 PM on August 15, 2010

I'm at the after after after party pre-party party.
posted by The Whelk at 4:45 PM on August 15, 2010

also, something odd has been happening to me today...
posted by The Whelk at 4:45 PM on August 15, 2010

While you geniuses have been striving to be the last to post in this thread, I've been quietly biding my time, posting last in lots of threads that have since closed. HA HA HA HA SUCKERS!
posted by Eideteker at 5:36 PM on August 15, 2010

 
   ☛ FIGHT
      STEAL
      MAGIC
      ITEM

           ☛ TARGET

☛ Eideteker
   Think_Long
   FishBike
   Burhanistan

☛ 

posted by The Whelk at 5:40 PM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

BEHOLD THE HANDS OF FATE:

☛ ☛ ☛ ☛ ☛ ☛ ☛ ☛ ☛ ☛ ☛ ☛ ☛
posted by Think_Long at 6:13 PM on August 15, 2010

MetaFilter: True Blue
posted by not_on_display at 6:51 PM on August 15, 2010

Baby.
posted by The Whelk at 7:00 PM on August 15, 2010

Baby Baby Baby

nsfw?
posted by homunculus at 7:47 PM on August 15, 2010

Be My Baby
posted by The Whelk at 7:51 PM on August 15, 2010

So, ala Mad men tonight? Are we supposed to think Peggy and Pete are the same person? Cause they kinda area, being emotionally atonal logically-minded ambitious nerds.
posted by The Whelk at 8:04 PM on August 15, 2010

Sometimes I wonder what I miss by not having cable. Whenever I come here, I find out that I'm missing a ton.
posted by Think_Long at 8:10 PM on August 15, 2010

CABLE?
posted by The Whelk at 8:12 PM on August 15, 2010

here's some Susan Vega. She's good, people like her.
posted by The Whelk at 8:15 PM on August 15, 2010

Cable was always the best character in the Marvel Vs. Capcom games.
posted by Think_Long at 8:18 PM on August 15, 2010

Was he now?
posted by The Whelk at 8:21 PM on August 15, 2010

This Cable sucks.
posted by Nabubrush at 8:24 PM on August 15, 2010

oh yeah
posted by The Whelk at 8:33 PM on August 15, 2010

10,000 POINTS
posted by The Whelk at 10:09 PM on August 15, 2010

Does anyone read the posts down here?
posted by roll truck roll at 10:59 PM on August 15, 2010

Never.
posted by Mitheral at 12:06 AM on August 16, 2010

Well maybe sometimes.
posted by Mitheral at 12:06 AM on August 16, 2010

Actually, Recent Activity page means I've been reading the down here comments like they were the vapid expression of zombies for the better part of a month.
posted by Mitheral at 12:08 AM on August 16, 2010

No, this cable sucks. Damn neighbors sucking up all the bandwidth. :(
posted by wierdo at 12:13 AM on August 16, 2010

oh yeah!
posted by Eideteker at 5:21 AM on August 16, 2010

Daisy daisy give. me. your answer . doooooooooooooo
posted by The Whelk at 7:20 AM on August 16, 2010

HAL et WOPR et le petit mort.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:50 AM on August 16, 2010

apre moi le rationality
posted by The Whelk at 7:56 AM on August 16, 2010

You know, HAL tried to complete the mission in spite of the meat sacks that were feeding him conflicting information. Had Bowman not shut him down the same outcome probably would've occurred and maybe the second mission in 2010 might not have been necessary. Now, WOPR on the other hand almost turns the Earth into a dead wasteland and we cheer him for learning that tic-tac-toe is silly. It's so unfair.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:00 AM on August 16, 2010

HAL WAS RIGHT t-shirts any day now.
posted by The Whelk at 8:03 AM on August 16, 2010

Project Spoilsport was worse. If Ralph hadn't shoved that Titan back into its silo, we'd have all been doomed to roam the earth wearing early 80s designer jeans, short shorts, and tube socks.
posted by wierdo at 8:04 AM on August 16, 2010

> HAL WAS RIGHT t-shirts any day now.

As a personal rule, I never wear t-shirts outside the house/yard, but might make an exception for that one. Keep it simple, just a small HAL eye panel in the upper center with the caption below in the same sans serif font as the movie poster. Maybe I'll take a quality hoodie instead of a tee.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:10 AM on August 16, 2010

I want to, but I don't want the ghost of Clarke haunting my drafting table, driving me to madness
posted by The Whelk at 8:12 AM on August 16, 2010

He merged with the monolith so you do run the risk of waking up one night and that sucker will be right there at the foot of your bed, beguiling you with it's inscrutable call to be...perplexed.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:14 AM on August 16, 2010

Also the Imp Of the Imperfect Kubrick. Everything I do would become a metaphor of systemic abuse by society.
posted by The Whelk at 8:15 AM on August 16, 2010

Après Moi
posted by homunculus at 8:40 AM on August 16, 2010

after me after me after me
posted by The Whelk at 8:42 AM on August 16, 2010

Since this is the place for this kind of thing, I would just like to add that if you did wake the ghost of Clarke and a big monolith suddenly appeared in your bedroom, your neighbors would probably bang on the walls and yell to turn down the damned Strauss.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:24 AM on August 16, 2010

(assuming you have shared walls--I have a house and no one can hear all the screaming)
posted by Burhanistan at 10:24 AM on August 16, 2010

Presumably I would have more pressing matters at the time.
posted by The Whelk at 10:29 AM on August 16, 2010

Sadly, I have a meeting at 4 when this thread is scheduled to close. I will miss the festivities. =(
posted by Eideteker at 10:35 AM on August 16, 2010

We will leave a glass for you.
posted by The Whelk at 10:35 AM on August 16, 2010

Humboldt penguins chasing a butterfly
posted by homunculus at 10:47 AM on August 16, 2010

Phonetically, the Ancient Greek Ω is a long open-mid o [ɔː], equal to the vowel of English raw. In Modern Greek Ω represents the same sound as omicron. The letter omega is transcribed ō or simply o.
posted by vapidave at 10:49 AM on August 16, 2010

There is literally nothing cuter than that.
posted by The Whelk at 10:49 AM on August 16, 2010

The MetaTalk Theme Song For Today
posted by The Whelk at 10:51 AM on August 16, 2010

Anybody who is still watching Rubicon on AMC should join my Rubicon Club. We all stand around for half an hour kicking each other in the junk! It's awesome, and reminds us of why we keep watching the show.
posted by paisley henosis at 11:00 AM on August 16, 2010

Metafilter: We all stand around for half an hour kicking each other in the junk!
posted by The Whelk at 11:01 AM on August 16, 2010

MetaFilter: Mad Men is so much better.
posted by paisley henosis at 11:04 AM on August 16, 2010

German blogger sued for linking to an image of Jesus with a ‘penis’

Previously.
posted by homunculus at 11:07 AM on August 16, 2010

Also: if this really is the last season of Boondocks I'll be quite disappointed.
posted by paisley henosis at 12:07 PM on August 16, 2010

Fox cancelled New Amsterdam. I figured it was still running when I started watching it because, hey only eight episodes. Nope, they cancelled it mid season and eight was all that we're going to get. I hate Fox.
posted by Mitheral at 12:16 PM on August 16, 2010

The next wave of passive-aggressive notes.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:19 PM on August 16, 2010

Holy crap, tonight is the season premier of Weeds. In this season, the writers will abandon the whole cast of brown people, the same way the ditched the black people, and turn the "weed selling" not-weed-selling family into nomads on the run from Mexican hitmen.

It sounds so terrible, I can't decide if I should watch it or just catch the whole thing at the end of the season.
posted by paisley henosis at 12:22 PM on August 16, 2010

And here I thought the thread closed today.
posted by biochemist at 12:35 PM on August 16, 2010

The nerds cheered a bit more than was necessary here, I think.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:37 PM on August 16, 2010

It closes soon. But not soon enough.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:38 PM on August 16, 2010

paisley henosis: It sounds so terrible, I can't decide if I should watch it or just catch the whole thing at the end of the season.

By which I mean: I was planning on watching it after it finished, in one guilty run, but it sounds so epically terrible that I'm tempted to tune in weekly to watch the train crash in real-time.
posted by paisley henosis at 12:38 PM on August 16, 2010

In case anyone was wondering, there's a prize for getting the last comment in this thread.

The prize is wondering, for the following five months, whether I will at some unexpected moment quietly and temporarily change the post category to Metafilter Gatherings, rendering it open again just long enough for me to pop in with one last comment.

It could happen at any time. For all you know, I might change the category for a few minutes and not comment at all; anybody paying attention at just the right moment could snag the new last comment instead. So this is a prize that all the runners up win as well.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:46 PM on August 16, 2010

Fiendish!
posted by paisley henosis at 12:48 PM on August 16, 2010

I mean, I probably wouldn't do that.

Doing that would be pretty unlikely.

Best not to worry about it.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:49 PM on August 16, 2010

Closing this up with about 1 minute to go would also be an amusing thing for a mod to do.
posted by FishBike at 12:49 PM on August 16, 2010

I thought setting it to never close, but never admitting it, was a pretty entertaining idea, myself.
posted by paisley henosis at 12:50 PM on August 16, 2010

It should be fake "This thread is closed to new comments" comments all the way down.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:56 PM on August 16, 2010

biochemist: "And here I thought the thread closed today."

I thought it was supposed to close 2 days ago:

Shenanigans?

OP: Shenanigans!
posted by vapidave at 12:58 PM on August 16, 2010

Maybe it's a 'project' ?
posted by paisley henosis at 1:01 PM on August 16, 2010

The Power Trip: Contrary to the Machiavellian cliché, nice people are more likely to rise to power. Then something strange happens: Authority atrophies the very talents that got them there.
posted by homunculus at 1:07 PM on August 16, 2010

UNLIMITED POWER!
posted by homunculus at 1:10 PM on August 16, 2010

I'm like Emperor Palpatine!
posted by paisley henosis at 1:13 PM on August 16, 2010

butts lol
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:14 PM on August 16, 2010

:(
posted by homunculus at 1:15 PM on August 16, 2010

I can't wait to see how this ends. Do I have time to make popcorn?
posted by FishBike at 1:15 PM on August 16, 2010 [6 favorites]