Please Hope Me Not Fail at Life

August 15, 2010 10:49 AM

I've been really enjoying "lifehack"-type AskMe posts lately - questions about how to change one's own habits to be better at day-to-day life situations and challenges (How do I become one of those people who makes everyone they talk to feel great? from Chrysalis is a good new one). What are some of your favorites?

Bonus points for questions about how to simplify or about being more considerate towards other people, in ways big and small.

posted by l33tpolicywonk to MetaFilter-Related at 10:49 AM (33 comments total)

I liked the answers I got to how to be a good guest and enjoyed reading the answers to how to be a great friend. I also liked How to be charming and these three posts tagged with charisma: What defines sophistication? What is charisma? and Boost my charisma score.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:54 AM on August 15, 2010 [18 favorites]

I really liked ways to feel better fast.
posted by bewilderbeast at 11:02 AM on August 15, 2010

How about some great answers?

Here's one about how to be a fantastic prospective tenant.

Here's one about how not to kill a goldfish (followed this advice for my fish, Maurice; he'll be celebrating his 2nd birthday in a month).

And here's one about how to prepare for losing your camera.
posted by phunniemee at 11:44 AM on August 15, 2010

What are some good self-reminders to be generous and compassionate?
posted by MonkeyToes at 11:49 AM on August 15, 2010

I'm going to self-link with How do I keep things clean? because holy crap is it helping me. I also enjoyed/was inspired by How do I stop feeling contemptuous?
posted by griphus at 12:11 PM on August 15, 2010

I recently started collecting the awesome suggestions/insight people post on AskMe, so this is perfectly timed.

How can I get better control of what I divulge in conversations?

"...whenever I have a "this certain thing must be done every time this happens" principle, I try never to force it onto anyone else. It's my business, my preference."
posted by emilyd22222 at 12:52 PM on August 15, 2010

"...whenever I have a "this certain thing must be done every time this happens" principle, I try never to force it onto anyone else. It's my business, my preference."

Is it OK to let out a frustrated groan when my roommate doesn't flush his poop down the toilet? Because there are only so many times I can flush it for him until the joy in my heart turns to searing rage.
posted by phunniemee at 1:10 PM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Lot of good hacks right here by mefi's own Jason Kottke.

(not really...)
posted by Dennis Murphy at 1:19 PM on August 15, 2010

I asked a similar question several months ago.

Incidentally, why is this in MetaTalk?
posted by dfriedman at 2:46 PM on August 15, 2010

dfriedman: "Incidentally, why is this in MetaTalk?"

I'm looking primarily for links to AskMe questions, which makes this Metafilter-related.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 2:47 PM on August 15, 2010

Ah...got it.
posted by dfriedman at 2:48 PM on August 15, 2010

Oh, whatever, I guess it's a self-post-link, but it might help someone: what are some good ways to cultivate calmness?
posted by thisjax at 3:50 PM on August 15, 2010

Just to clarify, I am totally okay with self-links here. Let a thousand flowers bloom.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 3:58 PM on August 15, 2010

Help me to become disarmingly (fill in the blank)

You ever have one of those days?

What experience most shaped who you are?

Help me get "a good head on my shoulders"

What is charisma?
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:02 PM on August 15, 2010

In another universe, most of the askme's linked here would be considered too chatty, and would have been deleted as unanswerable. This universe rocks.
posted by crunchland at 4:04 PM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

crunchland: "In another universe, most of the askme's linked here would be considered too chatty, and would have been deleted as unanswerable. This universe rocks."

The difference between the linked above and chatfilter, I think, is that the above are specific questions addressing specific problems. This thread would be terrible on Ask because my request is (admittedly) frustratingly vague. That's not to say it can't be answered by really specific links (how do I buy shampoo? how about greeting cards?).
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 4:16 PM on August 15, 2010

For anybody following at home, I wanted to link to Jeeves' amazing comment in the "one of those days" thread, because I think it's applicable in a lot of situations: negative thoughts are basically a self-reinforcing cognitive loop, and it's important to learn how to disengage from that loop.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 4:19 PM on August 15, 2010

Common relationship myths [deleted]

A couple on conversation.

How did you find your passion? Most notable for grumblebee's comment (over 600 favorites).
posted by Jaltcoh at 6:13 PM on August 15, 2010

Here's one more conversation thread. (Again, grumblebee wins the thread.)
posted by Jaltcoh at 6:16 PM on August 15, 2010

Why are we doing this here? Why is this MetaFilter-related in the least degree?
posted by yhbc at 6:20 PM on August 15, 2010

Also, what crunchland said about chatfilter, but without the acceptance. Either you have AskMe as a useful, non-chatty resource or you don't. Likewise, either MetaTalk is a forum for feature requests, bugs, etc., or it isn't.
posted by yhbc at 6:22 PM on August 15, 2010

Well, yhbc, jessamyn apparently thinks this thread is OK since she answered it. What makes you think you have a better understanding of MetaTalk policy than jessamyn?
posted by Jaltcoh at 6:27 PM on August 15, 2010

I was ASKING jessamyn, idiot (I can read her name perfectly well, thank you). As well as everyone else.
posted by yhbc at 6:29 PM on August 15, 2010

OK, you just went in my list of Metafilter users to ignore in the future.
posted by Jaltcoh at 6:32 PM on August 15, 2010

Oh, NO.
posted by yhbc at 6:34 PM on August 15, 2010 [4 favorites]

yhbc, some of the lovely, non-fighty MetaTalks are about "Hey, I saw this on AskMe, but I can't find it for the life of me" or "What was that thing I saw on The Blue last year? My GoogleFu, it has grown weak and complacent."

It's a fairly standard practice thus far.
posted by adipocere at 6:42 PM on August 15, 2010 [3 favorites]

Got a nice note from yhbc that he's going to take a walk for a bit, fyi.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:49 PM on August 15, 2010 [5 favorites]

As much as I loves me some drama, this is the most useful MetaTalk thread I've seen yet.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:18 PM on August 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

Some of my bookmarks:

How do I learn to stop and smell the roses?

Help Me Scale Back My Digital Life

How to deal with information/art/life overload?

How does one... mingle?

....but what if I need it someday? (especially the comment from ook about Pastabagel's solution for packrattery)

Make my rules and habits!
posted by gakiko at 1:17 AM on August 16, 2010

All of the links are spectacular, guys. Thanks so much.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 10:48 AM on August 16, 2010

This thread reminded me of a post sometime in mid 2009 where someone was collecting comments/posts from AskMe to bind into a book as a gift for a recent graduate, I think of high school. I feel like it was on AskMe although it would make more sense in MeTa. If you can find it, that might be a good place to look for this sort of thing.
posted by emilyd22222 at 7:08 PM on August 16, 2010

I'm glad yhbc was able to take a walk, I hope it helped. That said, it wasn't nice to call Jalcoth an idiot. That said, Jalcoth, you could have phrased your question a bit more gracefully to avoid setting yhbc off, ya know? Food for thought. Anyway, I got some good help in my Ask about how to be a better peacemaker.
posted by allkindsoftime at 5:36 AM on August 17, 2010

This thread reminded me of a post sometime in mid 2009 where someone was collecting comments/posts from AskMe to bind into a book as a gift for a recent graduate, I think of high school.

emilyd22222, you're right on the money, and it was indeed from AskMe: "What's the Best Thing You've Ever Seen Here?"

l33tpolicywonk, here are a few more I like:

- Clever ideas on how to make a stranger's day

- "What are the best manners that I am not aware of?"

- "Please help me with my struggle between materialism and minimalism."

- "What stock banter lines do you keep in your back pocket?"

- "What have you learned through your career, major, or specialization that you wish the general public knew?" (This one has a huge range of comments and some may not be what you're looking for, but there's a lot of information here that you may find interesting.)
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 1:26 AM on August 25, 2010