Mother, she not like the boom

December 16, 2010 4:32 PM

In case you didn't know, a hilarious, amazing AskMe about a mysterious Christmas Letter has inspired a strange, oddly addictive song on MetaMusic. That is all.
posted by The Whelk to MetaFilter-Related at 4:32 PM (39 comments total)

I've been meaning to listen to that, thanks for the reminder and for sharing the whole thing here!
posted by snsranch at 5:09 PM on December 16, 2010

Another holiday classic, partaking of the same awesomeness as "Jingle Rock Bell." Geez, I wish someone would send me incoherent Romanglish mystery letters.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:55 PM on December 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I wish I could take credit for the letter. I really do. I can't.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:46 PM on December 16, 2010

That letter would have been in hillbilly, once.

Progress.
posted by jamjam at 7:15 PM on December 16, 2010

I also did a one take reading of the letter in a very rusty Eastern European accent to save your eyes (but possibly assault your ears).
posted by gomichild at 7:15 PM on December 16, 2010 [15 favorites]

In the words of the great philosopher of Babylon 5, Susan Ivanova: "No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow."
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:53 PM on December 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I also did a one take reading of the letter in a very rusty Eastern European accent to save your eyes (but possibly assault your ears).

I enjoyed this very much. Thank you.
posted by patheral at 8:05 PM on December 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

In the words of the great philosopher of Babylon 5, Susan Ivanova: "No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow."

Whoa. I just watched that episode yesterday.

*theremins*
posted by brundlefly at 10:41 PM on December 16, 2010

I also did a one take reading of the letter in a very rusty Eastern European accent

Excellent!
posted by dersins at 12:10 AM on December 17, 2010

C'mon Whelk, share whatever it is you're smoking ;p
posted by The Lady is a designer at 3:44 AM on December 17, 2010

Somebody likes The Residents. Fortunately, so do I. Nice one.
posted by Decani at 3:48 AM on December 17, 2010

And what a wonderful thread that was in Ask. Next, shrewd researchers in the green uncover evidence that Boris and Natasha were not speaking authentic Russian.
posted by Wolfdog at 4:29 AM on December 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

I turned from the thread to my dog and declared "Look there is dog." He seemed nonplussed.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:46 AM on December 17, 2010

this is what i *hate* about this site: unless i spend 26 hours/day on metawhatever, i miss stuff like like this. and then, boom!, it gets posted to another part of metawhatever that i stumble upon, and i'm back in the loop. so that's what i *love* about this site.

i go back in basement now.
posted by msconduct at 5:56 AM on December 17, 2010 [3 favorites]

Not too much for solving mysteries but for laughing at mystery it perfect.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:34 AM on December 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

That guy could find a scanner if he wanted to.
posted by sleevener at 7:52 AM on December 17, 2010 [3 favorites]

Here's my take on creating a song based on the letter.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:58 AM on December 17, 2010

That guy could find a scanner if he wanted to

He could take a photograph and email it
posted by The Lady is a designer at 9:21 AM on December 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

he could have monks copy it on purest foolscap.
posted by The Whelk at 9:32 AM on December 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

Everything about this is fabulous in every way. The AskMe, the song, the recorded letter... MeFi reigns supreme.
posted by widdershins at 9:39 AM on December 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

I wonder how deep the conspiracy runs. What if I sent the letter for the sole purpose of it being posted here, so I could post a song about the letter in order to promote my under-performing off-Broadway musical, "Uncle Pitor from Bidsxt?"

The cabbage/beer/chicken p[l]ot thickens! (Enriched uranium is frequently used as a thickener for runny soups.)
posted by MonsieurBon at 10:52 AM on December 17, 2010 [3 favorites]

Maybe the letter is actually the encoded insurance file from Wikileaks? No?

I'm loving this. I hope we find out who sent that letter. If it were me, I would go to the fake address (82.5 Cicero) and start digging a hole in the road, just to see if a geocache is buried there.
posted by misha at 11:31 AM on December 17, 2010

Decani, I had not heard of The Residents. But now I have, and intend to check out them out most thoroughly!
posted by MonsieurBon at 2:33 PM on December 17, 2010

I hope we never find out who sent that letter.
posted by deborah at 3:02 PM on December 17, 2010

I couldn't resist recording my own version, using gomchild's reading of the letter as the vocals.
posted by unSane at 4:54 PM on December 17, 2010

Is good mystery. Me and poppa listen songs, laughing in kitchen and drinking Svedya. Romanian internet just one man with little antenna (not Grigori) so we wait around smoking Pravda cigarette while page load. Not like you Amerikanj but is ok for download goat schedule.
posted by naju at 5:02 PM on December 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Can we do a full album and release as a MeFi compilation?
posted by naju at 5:07 PM on December 17, 2010

If anyone wants to noodle away on a little guitar or nose pipe while I try a semi-musical version of the letter I'd be up to it.
posted by The Whelk at 5:16 PM on December 17, 2010

*actually it could fun to do it like a radio drama...sound design and effects. Hmm. OKay yeah you'd need a better actor then me.*
posted by The Whelk at 5:21 PM on December 17, 2010

To get really meta about it we need some cover versions of the songs already created.
posted by gomichild at 5:38 PM on December 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Reminds me of how I used to order coffee in Italy.

"Two times Double the double coffee twice please."

The look of sheer relief on the man's face when I finally said "two double coffees" is something I will cherish forever.
posted by The Whelk at 7:00 PM on December 17, 2010

I think I made it worse by just accepting whatever he gave me so there was no way of telling if it was right or not
posted by The Whelk at 7:01 PM on December 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

The feeling I get from listening to all these pieceses is the same as watching some great movie... like I have entered another world, and it is profound, distinct, and impossibly impossibly real. I can smell the air and see the grey light shining through a small standard size window down on Arnaud's unadorned walls, as Olga sits in the living room, the patterned sheets lying on the ironing board which always stays open, while a small Christmas tree sits in the window onto the snowy concrete street. It's the look in her eyes that I remember most... stubbon enduring satisfaction.
posted by niccolo at 9:53 PM on December 17, 2010 [4 favorites]

I keep imagining some bouncy little tune about Vilchik the dog, he not good at fetch! but good for looking and saying HE IS BEST DOG!
posted by The Whelk at 10:00 PM on December 17, 2010

You mean like this?
posted by unSane at 10:03 PM on December 17, 2010

haha bucket in shed.
posted by The Whelk at 10:13 PM on December 17, 2010

Jebus, this is getting a bit, weird and wonderful.

From all the musical submissions, i think, and tell me if I am wrong, if a coupla other people take on a paragraph of that stupid thing, we have a MeFi version of Joe's Garage, Part I, going on here.

Play this right, it could be off Broadway by next Xmas.
posted by timsteil at 1:03 AM on December 18, 2010

WE HAVE CLOSURE.
posted by The Whelk at 5:16 AM on December 20, 2010

Note: Everyone needs a hug.
posted by The Lady is a designer at 5:31 AM on December 20, 2010