I know where you're coming from

September 11, 2011 6:13 PM

Feature request for profiles: phone numbers.

Could go under "Instant Messaging", could go under "Social Apps", I suppose. Google Voice, Skype, et cetera. Lots of folk have these set up separate from actual phones for use as online voicemail. Seems like it'd fit in okay with the other options on the profile.

posted by curious nu to Feature Requests at 6:13 PM (199 comments total)

555-5555.
posted by XhaustedProphet at 6:16 PM on September 11, 2011

PEnnsylvania 6-5000
posted by tomswift at 6:18 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

Oh man, please do this. Do you have any idea how many mefites' refrigerators are running at this very moment?
posted by phunniemee at 6:18 PM on September 11, 2011 [73 favorites]

Eww. No.
posted by item at 6:18 PM on September 11, 2011 [12 favorites]

I'd say I wouldn't like this pony, but then again, if I didn't want to use it, I could do what I do for a lot of the social apps things, and just not enter my information. Not my cup of pony, perhaps, but maybe others...
posted by Ghidorah at 6:19 PM on September 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

[phone]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:19 PM on September 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

Also: 867-53OHNIIEYINE
posted by Ghidorah at 6:19 PM on September 11, 2011 [5 favorites]

Call in the next 10 minutes and you'll receive one of 10 political rants!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:21 PM on September 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

867-5309... ask for Jenny
posted by tomswift at 6:23 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

[phone]
posted by item at 6:23 PM on September 11, 2011

0118 999 881 999 119 7253
posted by goshling at 6:24 PM on September 11, 2011 [22 favorites]

I don't understand why people are opposed to other people having the option of listing their own personal information. Like you're offended on behalf of their own personal standards of privacy and must protect them?
posted by andoatnp at 6:25 PM on September 11, 2011 [11 favorites]

0118 999 88199 9119 725 3
posted by dunkadunc at 6:25 PM on September 11, 2011 [5 favorites]

747 4000
posted by Eideteker at 6:27 PM on September 11, 2011

Brandon Blatcher: "Call in the next 10 minutes and you'll receive one of 10 political rants!"

I called within ten minutes and didn't get my political rant -- do I get any money back?
posted by dancestoblue at 6:30 PM on September 11, 2011

Rikki Don't Lose That Number, you don't want to call nobody else. Send it off on a pony to yourself.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:31 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I think you have to be an ass, then ask jessamyn if you want your money back.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:32 PM on September 11, 2011

Oh man, please do this. Do you have any idea how many mefites' refrigerators are running at this very moment?

Not to mention what they've done with Prince Albert!
posted by TedW at 6:33 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

How dare you assume I wanna parlez-vous with you?
posted by Horselover Phattie at 6:33 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Beechwood 4-5789
posted by tomswift at 6:34 PM on September 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

I called within ten minutes and didn't get my political rant -- do I get any money back?

All I heard was heavy breathing and sheep. My bad.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:35 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

Can I ask why anyone would want this feature? I mean, if people really want it, I don't see why they couldn't put their phone numbers in their profiles already. But why would you want to publish your phone number in plain text on the internet? If you have MeFi friends whom you want to give it to, couldn't you just give it to them? What's the benefit of a phone number slot in profiles?
posted by decathecting at 6:37 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

" But why would you want to publish your phone number in plain text on the internet?"

some of us are lonely.... :(
posted by tomswift at 6:39 PM on September 11, 2011

But why would you want to publish your phone number in plain text on the internet?

My phone number has been on the internet for the last decade. People rarely call but occasionally it's useful if some random person wants to get in touch. I have gotten less than one weirdo-call per year, I think.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:42 PM on September 11, 2011 [5 favorites]

. But why would you want to publish your phone number in plain text on the internet?

For the fun of it. Really and seriously, that's exactly why I put my number up there. One never knows when something neat might happen and I have no problem with turning the phone off if it's ringing too much.

Obviously, getting a Google Voice number, which links to, but does not revel your real number, is the best way to go about this.

And yes, dancestoblue really did call me.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:42 PM on September 11, 2011

I have Brandon's phone number on speed dial now.
posted by tomswift at 6:45 PM on September 11, 2011

decathecting: " I don't see why they couldn't put their phone numbers in their profiles already. "

Information you put in the text area in your profile is available to everyone. If this was added as a feature, it could be set so it is only available to logged in users.
posted by zarq at 6:46 PM on September 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

Ima just put it in the gender field. To go nuts, call 520-260-3960 and wait for the beep.
posted by carsonb at 6:47 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

Murray Hill 5-9975, Circle 7-2099 and Murray Hill 5-9099.
posted by crunchland at 6:49 PM on September 11, 2011

619-239-KING
posted by Zonker at 6:50 PM on September 11, 2011

No objections to the idea here, but is there any possible way that mathowie and the site could be legally liable if one user harasses another by phone?
posted by zarq at 6:50 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I mean, we've already seen one or two users banned for harassing others by memail.
posted by zarq at 6:51 PM on September 11, 2011

212-479-7990.
posted by buzzman at 6:52 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

No, seriously. It's [phone].
posted by crunchland at 6:53 PM on September 11, 2011

is there any possible way that mathowie and the site could be legally liable if one user harasses another by phone?

Very very doubtful.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:53 PM on September 11, 2011

jessamyn: " Very very doubtful."

Cool. :)

I'd probably never take advantage but still, it's a really neat idea.
posted by zarq at 6:55 PM on September 11, 2011

[phone]
posted by furiousxgeorge at 6:55 PM on September 11, 2011

I don't see any reason not to do this. I also happen to know that phunniemee's refrigerator got hurt in a car wreck and didn't want to get back in its wrecker car and drive all the way to Atlanta. ONE CALL, THAT'S ALL
posted by shakespeherian at 7:02 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

As to the feature itself, it would be cool, especially if it was only viewable to either other members or just one's contacts.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:02 PM on September 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

Can we just put the numbers under drunkdial.metafilter.com?

JUST THINK of all the crazy anonymous question. And just think of ALL the good metafilter could do if they provide those people with a number to call other than that of their SO or should be ex-SO.

I'll even put my number up. I'll chat up all sorts of you drunks. We'll have conversations about bottle openers, pen caps, stupid things like the law, people who take things too serious like the police and mothers in parks.

This would be phenomenal. Not because it in itself is a great idea, but because doing this for a week would CREATE all sorts of good ideas. Mostly in the realm of mandating reporting, though.

But I'm down.
posted by hal_c_on at 7:02 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

If you want my number, you're going to have to MeFiMail and/or e-mail for it.
posted by Eideteker at 7:02 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't want your number.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:05 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

Maybe make it a conditional field that shows only if you are logged in. Or, at least make that an option when adding your phone number- available to everyone, available only to other mefites.
posted by TheBones at 7:05 PM on September 11, 2011

I suspect most of your numbers on on the wall of a bathroom in some cheap bar. Not much point in being redundant here, eh?
posted by tomswift at 7:06 PM on September 11, 2011

on on= are on (at least here in Michigan it does)
posted by tomswift at 7:07 PM on September 11, 2011

Or, at least make that an option when adding your phone number- available to everyone, available only to other mefites. --- Don't forget, "available to no one."
posted by crunchland at 7:07 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Maybe make it a conditional field that shows only if you are logged in. Or, at least make that an option when adding your phone number- available to everyone, available only to other mefites.

So, it'd be like every other field, then.
posted by phunniemee at 7:08 PM on September 11, 2011

So now you're telling me that instead of having all my friends with my number ignore me, I can have the entire internet ignore me. Uplifting!
posted by Think_Long at 7:09 PM on September 11, 2011 [10 favorites]

The phone calls are coming from inside the community weblog!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:14 PM on September 11, 2011 [9 favorites]

Keep in mind that $5 is not a huge barrier to entry and that's the only difference between a member and non-member. I'm not a huge fan of the fact that we show different things to members than we do the public because that line is fairly illusory. It's not a big deal for things like your email address or social network profiles, but a phone number is harder to change. I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be happy to code it up if that's the way we go.
posted by pb (staff) at 7:15 PM on September 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

I don't understand why people are opposed to other people having the option of listing their own personal information.

Here's a hypothetical answer: a lot of people don't always think through things that are displayed as possible to be filled in. So if you put the phone number there as an optional field, a lot of people who might not think through all the ramifications of putting their phone number on the internet will just automatically fill it out.

See also the people who write an incredibly sensitive AskMe with their full name and information in their profile with the inevitable 'you might want to anonymize this question' in the answers.
posted by winna at 7:15 PM on September 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

I do have Prince Albert, but he is NOT in a can.
posted by briank at 7:16 PM on September 11, 2011

Can we just put the numbers under drunkdial.metafilter.com?

Keep this away from me, I don't have that much self-control.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 7:20 PM on September 11, 2011

Not one person has attempted to SMS me a picture of their wiener. *sigh*
posted by carsonb at 7:22 PM on September 11, 2011

I SMSd it to 1-900-MIX-A-LOT. That's not you?
posted by mintcake! at 7:23 PM on September 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

Oh wait - I sent a picture of Sir Mix-A-Lot to Marc Weiner. My bad.
posted by mintcake! at 7:26 PM on September 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

Whole lotta wieners comin' up!
posted by Horselover Phattie at 7:26 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

Not one person has attempted to SMS me a picture of their wiener. *sigh*

Sorry, I have to pay extra for picture messaging. Here you go.
posted by phunniemee at 7:26 PM on September 11, 2011

Carsonb, all you had to do was Ask!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:26 PM on September 11, 2011

Oh sweet gordo tacos, what have I done‽
posted by carsonb at 7:28 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

"Keep in mind that $5 is not a huge barrier to entry and that's the only difference between a member and non-member. I'm not a huge fan of the fact that we show different things to members than we do the public because that line is fairly illusory. It's not a big deal for things like your email address or social network profiles, but a phone number is harder to change. I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be happy to code it up if that's the way we go."

This is something that I think I would be happy to take advantage of and put my number out there, if Jessamyn doesn't get that much shit I can't possibly be so interesting, though it does seem like one of those things to have a reminder of the possible implications next to in the input field.
posted by Blasdelb at 7:32 PM on September 11, 2011

Which Instagram effect do you tend to use for all your wiener pictures?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:32 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

Speak to six colors! Only $1.99/minute (additional rates may apply) CALL NOW! Don't take our word, check the reviews!

Highly...Entertaining!
- Cortex, President, Internet Moderator Workers Union Local 357.
posted by babbyʼ); Drop table users; -- at 7:32 PM on September 11, 2011

I am with pb on this one.

On the internet, I am THIS guy. I am accessible (somewhat) by email, facebook, whatever. I can with impunity ignore you.

If I happen to need to contact you in real life, I am THAT guy, and we will exchange phone numbers. This implies a somewhat greater sense of closeness, and I would be a jerk if I ignored you.
posted by Curious Artificer at 7:33 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Maybe make it a conditional field that shows only if you are logged in. Or, at least make that an option when adding your phone number- available to everyone, available only to other mefites.

So, it'd be like every other field, then.

Not sure what you mean, I think social apps are the only field that you can choose to only show to other mefi members. Maybe I'm wrong.

Either way, awesome snark I guess.
posted by TheBones at 7:42 PM on September 11, 2011

1-800-54GIANT.
posted by maryr at 7:45 PM on September 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

Google+ let's you put a phone number in. If you're using Google voice, and I am, and you've put your number in your Gplus profile, then I have it in Google voice automatically.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:45 PM on September 11, 2011

Fun fact: If you grew up in the right television marker, that jingle is now stuck in your head.
posted by maryr at 7:45 PM on September 11, 2011

(market)
posted by maryr at 7:45 PM on September 11, 2011

Aw HELL no.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:46 PM on September 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

Thanks a LOT, maryr.
posted by catlet at 7:58 PM on September 11, 2011

I don't really see why this is necessary; you can always put your contact info elsewhere in your profile. But then I don't see why most of what's on the profile pages is necessary so this isn't any different.

All putting my phone number in my profile would accomplish is increasing the number of people who don't call me.
posted by Justinian at 8:00 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

If you are fb friends with me you have my number. Otherwise you only get it it you ask.
Maybe.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 8:12 PM on September 11, 2011

1-800-KARS-4-KIDS

Fuck you, everyone!
posted by griphus at 8:12 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

(877, that is.)
posted by griphus at 8:13 PM on September 11, 2011

Here's the thing: Many people don't have unlimited minutes, and also many people don't have unlimited text messaging. So if you're at all concerned about going over your minutes or text limit, this would probably be a bad idea for you. And should someone international text you or call you, you get charged more money. (I texted someone in Canada once - I'm in the US - and instead of it counting in my then-1500-texts/month, it charged me a quarter.)
posted by IndigoRain at 8:29 PM on September 11, 2011

Damn you, griphus. Damn you to hell. I actually hit play, knowing exactly what was coming. Couldn't help myself.
posted by shinynewnick at 8:46 PM on September 11, 2011

Anyone really wants to talk to me, we can work that out. I have some sort of telephone PTSD though, and the damn thing makes me jump if I'm not expecting it. Also, we have sleeping hours, here. You call me between 12 am and 7 am CST, I will hunt you down, and we will discuss this in a most frank and forthright manner. Unless you're house is on fire, then I'm on my way.


I have gotten less than one weirdo-call per year, I think.

That's about... exactly how often you visit Austin.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:46 PM on September 11, 2011

PEnnsylvania 6-5000!

(I've absolutely no objection to anyone else doing this, but I can't imagine doing so myself.)
posted by octobersurprise at 8:51 PM on September 11, 2011

i am bookmarking the HELL out of this post for my next bender.
posted by elizardbits at 8:51 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

Unless, of course, someone wants to call to give me money.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:53 PM on September 11, 2011

For beetle pictures, text BEETLE to 39044.
posted by maryr at 8:54 PM on September 11, 2011

Okay, seriously? I'd probably add my phone number to my profile if it was only visible to mutual contacts. I don't much obfuscate my identity at all. It's all one big real life.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:54 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

If you want your number in your profile, just put it there. It doesn't require the site to add a label and a field. I hate the phone, so no way.
posted by theora55 at 8:59 PM on September 11, 2011

1-800-ABCDEFG
posted by bondcliff at 9:01 PM on September 11, 2011

Babby, don't forget my number ...
posted by octobersurprise at 9:07 PM on September 11, 2011

I'd probably add my phone number to my profile if it was only visible to mutual contacts.

You know what? I was in the "aw hell naw" category of people who would add their phone numbers to their profiles until I saw this. Mutual contacts only would actually be pretty helpful, for purposes of going to meetups and such. The Chicago group tends to roam as the night goes on, and I can see how having a somewhat protected but available contact number could be pretty helpful. (Particularly for those of us who can't afford a pocket internet and can't double check the IRL thread on the go.)

Not sure what you mean, I think social apps are the only field that you can choose to only show to other mefi members. Maybe I'm wrong. Either way, awesome snark I guess.

Huh? Unless I'm mistaken, most profile information is visible only to other mefites. Go check out someone's profile, then logout and go check it again. Should only be pic, name, and join date.
posted by phunniemee at 9:11 PM on September 11, 2011

588-2300, EMPIRE!
posted by Godwin Interjection at 9:20 PM on September 11, 2011 [8 favorites]

Years ago, before cell phones, when everybody had a land line and your exchange indicated which neighborhood you lived in, I used to get late-night heavy breathing and obscene phone calls all the damned time. My 443 exchange indicated that I lived in the "gay" part of town, but none of my friends or neighbors with the same exchange got the same kind of calls. Then I figured it out. There was no internet at the time but my number was likely posted on the precursor to craigslist casual encounters -- bathroom walls in the local bars. Turns out that on a telephone, 2625 spells both 'cock' and 'anal'.

If you want to crank call me in the same way now, you'll have to speak a combination of Finnish and Klingon.
posted by Balonious Assault at 9:34 PM on September 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

1-212-YEA-RITE
posted by Juicy Avenger at 9:36 PM on September 11, 2011

Can I ask for this pony's mother (dam?) instead? Just an "about yourself"-type field that's only visible to logged in members, or mutual contacts, or whatever? Then, if I feel like it, I can put my phone number in there, or my mailing address, or my realworld celebrity identity, or whatever I feel comfortable making public-but-not-too-easily-googleable. Plus metadata like what hours I'd rather you not call during, how drunk or sober you might want to be before calling, whether you should wear frilly underwear and be prepared to talk about it, etc. Free form, go nuts.
posted by hattifattener at 9:40 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Pick up the phone, I'm always home, call me anytime
Just ring 36-24-36 (yeaaah), I lead a life of crime.
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:45 PM on September 11, 2011

Hi, this is Sharon from Credit Card Services. There is nothing wrong with your credit card, but it's urgent that you call us about possibly lowering your interest rate!
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 9:53 PM on September 11, 2011

Btw does having a line break in a Youtube link break the little play button apparently?
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:55 PM on September 11, 2011

Yeah, a line break breaks the inline player.
posted by pb (staff) at 9:59 PM on September 11, 2011

Skype is turning all those phone numbers into links for me. All I have to do is click my mouse twice and BAM!. Instant 1:00am Monday mourning phone call.
posted by 517 at 10:00 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

5705

Don't expect a reply, though.
posted by Decani at 10:06 PM on September 11, 2011

Huh? Unless I'm mistaken, most profile information is visible only to other mefites. Go check out someone's profile, then logout and go check it again. Should only be pic, name, and join date.

How do I "logout"?
posted by maryr at 10:11 PM on September 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Upper right corner, click "sign out".
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 10:33 PM on September 11, 2011

Huh? Unless I'm mistaken, most profile information is visible only to other mefites. Go check out someone's profile, then logout and go check it again. Should only be pic, name, and join date.

And no one, no one would pay $5 to join Metafilter so as to abuse it for advertising purposes, right?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 10:34 PM on September 11, 2011

634-5789
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:42 PM on September 11, 2011

Does the No Call Registry have a category for MeFites?
posted by Cranberry at 10:55 PM on September 11, 2011

250.828.3000
posted by Mitheral at 11:01 PM on September 11, 2011

Just call BUtterfield 8!
posted by chavenet at 11:08 PM on September 11, 2011

6060-842. (And I'm waiting for you!)
posted by trip and a half at 11:13 PM on September 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

and the operator says 40 cents more for the next three minutes PLEASE.
posted by pianomover at 11:13 PM on September 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

415-691-4811
posted by fake at 11:17 PM on September 11, 2011

[phone] Forever alone.
posted by Duke999R at 11:32 PM on September 11, 2011

I'm stuck between tempted and horrified.
posted by seanyboy at 11:55 PM on September 11, 2011 [6 favorites]

Might be good for emergency check-ups on people.

That said I'm Mr Facebook Every Hour and even I don't give them my phone number, so yeah.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 12:11 AM on September 12, 2011

and the operator says 40 cents more for the next three minutes PLEASE.

Nothing to do with phone numbers, but this is fantastic.
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:13 AM on September 12, 2011

jessamyn: "My phone number has been on the internet for the last decade. People rarely call but occasionally it's useful if some random person wants to get in touch. I have gotten less than one weirdo-call per year, I think."

Well, that's no fun.
posted by deborah at 12:28 AM on September 12, 2011

I don't understand why people are opposed to other people having the option of listing their own personal information.

It's cool to allow people to volunteer personal information, but it's not nice to encourage people to do so by giving them fields to complete. There are people who would post their home addresses, Social Security numbers, credit card numbers, and just-out-of-the-shower photos ("I don't know... maybe they need to verify my sex?") if you gave them a space to fill in. Because this is a nice smart site run my nice smart people who they trust, some members might figure it was a very safe and smart thing to do and then ignore any sort of warning you gave them when they clicked Save.
posted by pracowity at 12:33 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I've got nothing against this pony, but one of my favorite things about the internet is the lack of phone calls.
posted by brundlefly at 12:38 AM on September 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

Err, no, not a pony I'd feed a sugar lump to. I'm with Chocolate Pickle, $5 is not enough of a barrier to tele-spammers.
posted by arcticseal at 12:40 AM on September 12, 2011

My surname is Wall.

People used to call our house. Mum would answer. They would say to her, "Is Mr Wall there?" She would say "Yes, I will just go and get him."
posted by tumid dahlia at 1:30 AM on September 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

416 826 3272. i regularly get 4 am phone calls. i would welcome others
posted by PinkMoose at 1:36 AM on September 12, 2011

1 800 peepee 5 doodoo
posted by Divine_Wino at 3:25 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Does the QoE have the number "1" as her phone number? I actually like to imagine that you can pick up a UK phone, and if you don't dial a number within 30 seconds you're automatically patched through to her.
posted by maxwelton at 3:35 AM on September 12, 2011

Finally, the MeFi dating service comes to fruition.
posted by FunkyHelix at 3:39 AM on September 12, 2011

Oh man, please do this. Do you have any idea how many mefites' refrigerators are running at this very moment?

Yes! Strangely, this information is provided in the Infodump. 15,287 as of 2:00am Saturday morning.
posted by FishBike at 5:33 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

(HTML fail)
posted by FishBike at 5:34 AM on September 12, 2011

It's all one big real life.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:54 PM

Oooo!!!!! Where can I get me one of those?!
posted by The Deej at 6:14 AM on September 12, 2011

(562) MIKEPOP
posted by mikepop at 6:17 AM on September 12, 2011

853-5937. She'll give you a ring when she's home.
posted by emelenjr at 6:17 AM on September 12, 2011

Transylvania 6-5000. Why do hotels always hide the telephones.
posted by theredpen at 6:28 AM on September 12, 2011

1-800-KARS-4-KIDS

you horrible horrible person.
posted by elizardbits at 6:30 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hey, baby, if you need a little lovin', call on me
And if you want some kissin', call on me, baby
No more lonely nights will you be alone
All you got to do is pick up your telephone
And dial 634-5789, 634-5789, 634-5789
'Cause that's my number, 634-5789, 634-5789
posted by mahershalal at 6:48 AM on September 12, 2011

Operator, number, please: it's been so many years
posted by Sailormom at 6:50 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Could you help me make this call?
posted by tomswift at 6:55 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

777-9311
posted by catlet at 6:56 AM on September 12, 2011

And the operator said, "Can I help you please?"
posted by Meatbomb at 7:02 AM on September 12, 2011

There was no internet at the time but my number was likely posted on the precursor to craigslist casual encounters -- bathroom walls in the local bars. Turns out that on a telephone, 2625 spells both 'cock' and 'anal'.

Hunh. I have known for years that my current cell phone number spells something that sounds like a phone sex line (think I-AM-HUNG or HORNY-4-U but skeezier) but I have never received a breather calling on it. Mostly it is a very handy way for me to pass on my phone number to friends who need it but have to get it down quickly and have no pen handy -- once I tell it to them, it is seared into their brain, with a mild, "Ewww."

That being said, I have long had a minor quirk of noticing what phone numbers spell on the keypad. Twenty years ago my home phone line was one digit way from a local pizza place which had deliveries until 3:00 AM, and which spelled out their phone number by mnemonic in their ads. Not infrequently the drunken 2:15 AM calls would come asking for a large with double cheese. Once a guy called and I told him he had the wrong number and gave him the correct on. He said sorry, hung up, and called back ten seconds later. When I told him to was me again, he apologized and hung up, then called back again. The third time the rang, I answered as "Pizza _______" and he gave me his order. I took it, told him it would be half an hour, and unplugged my phone.

And years ago my friend Greg had the cell number 707-4734. I remarked idly one day that that spelled 707-GREG, which he had never noticed. A few months later he moved into a new apartment building and had one of those setups where when visitors pressed the buzzer in the lobby, it went not to an intercom in your apartment but to your phone. By chance, he wound up living in apartment 707. Yes, you could press a button marked 707, 707-GREG would ring, and Greg would answer. It had a neatness and unity of theme that appealed to me.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:02 AM on September 12, 2011 [8 favorites]

HOW'S MY DRIVING?
CALL 1-800-EAT-SHIT
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 7:10 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I could post my work number. I've received hundreds (I'm not kidding) of phone calls looking for a "Jerry Zimmer" since 2000 so what's a couple more?

Oh, and if you're "Jerry Zimmer" and you're reading this I hate you. That is all.
posted by tommasz at 7:12 AM on September 12, 2011

After reading ricochet biscuit's comment, I was curious what my number spelled. Let's just say I've got "style." Here's the handy tool.
posted by desjardins at 7:16 AM on September 12, 2011

My iPad hates this thread.

"Add as new contact?"

No! Follow the link so I can sees the funnah!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:20 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

It's cool to allow people to volunteer personal information, but it's not nice to encourage people to do so by giving them fields to complete. There are people who would post their home addresses, Social Security numbers, credit card numbers, and just-out-of-the-shower photos ("I don't know... maybe they need to verify my sex?") if you gave them a space to fill in.

Oh no! Think of all those poor souls that have felt compelled - compelled, I say - to sign up for crazy guy on a bike simply because there was a field for it. I'll bet some of them even had to go out and BUY a bike to do it. Just imagine how it must weigh on them.

Clearly, the Social Apps section is a menace and must be destroyed.

For the children.
posted by curious nu at 7:20 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

900-765-4321.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 7:24 AM on September 12, 2011

1-800-KARS-4-KIDS

Hang on, wasn't that 1-877-KARS-FOR- oh my god it's in my head.
posted by running order squabble fest at 7:53 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

1-800-KARS-4-KIDS. Apply directly to forehead! 1-800-KARS-4-KIDS. Apply directly to forehead!
posted by octobersurprise at 8:01 AM on September 12, 2011

One time for a MetaFilter mix tape I made a mixtape about phones, and made an actual phone tree that people could call into and leave messages on. The phone number to call in was included inside the CD case. But nobody called :( I'm still not sure if I set up the phone tree wrong or if nobody bothered to try calling.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:03 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Also the phone tree included options to have MetaFilter read to you over the phone, and an option to play the latest MeFi Music songs over the phone.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:10 AM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Contacts-only phone number visibility would be sweet.

The history behind telephone exchange names & phone numbers such as "BUtterfield 8" is really neat. It was covered in the blue some years ago and the featured link is still alive. We live near Lincoln Park; I think that's why our land line starts "LIncoln 7".
posted by exogenous at 8:15 AM on September 12, 2011

It's an optional text field. No one is putting a cupcake to your head and demanding you fill it out. Maybe a visibility option for "world / members / contacts". Go for it.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:22 AM on September 12, 2011

Speaking of Google, remember when you could enter a phone number into the Google search field, and it would tell you whose number it was? Now you have to use one of those reverse-lookup things.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:33 AM on September 12, 2011

It has never--until this thread--occurred to me to see if my phone number spells something.

It doesn't.
posted by crush-onastick at 8:45 AM on September 12, 2011

Sorry; I just ass-dialed the internet.
posted by found missing at 9:07 AM on September 12, 2011

I'd probably just end up really disappointed that no one called me.
posted by inturnaround at 9:10 AM on September 12, 2011

I don't even want people to read my comments.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:14 AM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

See, I see this less as an opportunity to get other Mefites numbers so much as this being the moment to start our own version of Global Frequency.

I'm imagining Jessamyn, calling in a cold, businesslike Miranda Zero voice saying "15055, I need the specifications for the trigger pull of a 1957 Colt Python, a breakdown of the works of Robert Rodriguez, and the best way to distract an Australian cattle dog long enough to use a furminator. You are our mid-west asset, and you are on the MeFi Frequency..."
posted by quin at 9:57 AM on September 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

7.25 pounds, overrated, kitten rémoulade
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:10 AM on September 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

Just look on the bathroom wall like evrybody else.
posted by jonmc at 10:27 AM on September 12, 2011

Why don't you just provide a giant textarea field and let people put whatever they want in there, in any format whatsoever?

oh, wait, you have that?

never mind
posted by davejay at 11:29 AM on September 12, 2011

976-7070
posted by eyeballkid at 11:51 AM on September 12, 2011

0118 999 88199 9119 725 3, same as in town.
posted by Eideteker at 12:05 PM on September 12, 2011

"Speaking of Google, remember when you could enter a phone number into the Google search field, and it would tell you whose number it was? Now you have to use one of those reverse-lookup things."

Yeah, phone number searches on Google are now totally fucking useless, and it's a shame. I'd hope that they'd deprecate some of the spammers, but nope.
posted by klangklangston at 12:56 PM on September 12, 2011

Nobody bothers me. Call USA-1000.
posted by sarahnade at 1:18 PM on September 12, 2011

I'm envisioning a situation where a Mefite has been arrested and is about to make their one allotted phone call. Frantically, our Mefite starts reading comment histories, trying to determine who would be the most helpful with regards to the situation. However, Mefite inevitably gets sidetracked into a comment thread full of kitty pictures, or recipes, or a Sarah Palin bashing thread from 2008, and ends up getting the electric chair because they never get themselves a lawyer.

No good can come of this.
posted by MexicanYenta at 1:43 PM on September 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

Typically, the one-phone-call has no allowance for looking up the number, and often has to be to a land line. (At least in California.) One of the cooperatives I used to frequent did a great job as jail support after a protest because it had pretty much the only land line that anyone knew of. Protesters would sharpie the number onto their arms before the police started rounding people up.
posted by kaibutsu at 2:26 PM on September 12, 2011

I thought that "one phone call" thing was kind of a myth at this point. There are news stories every so often about how the collect call system at the jails in my area are rigged to rip off call recipients. The inmates are given open access to special phones that are collect-call only. They also try to run scams that way by dialing numbers at random.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:29 PM on September 12, 2011

MeVoiceMail
posted by blue_beetle at 2:30 PM on September 12, 2011

Horselover Phattie writes "There are news stories every so often about how the collect call system at the jails in my area are rigged to rip off call recipients."

That's after you've been convicted. The one phone call thing is to contact a lawyer after you've been arrested. Some places you get two phone calls so you can call your lawyer and your bail bonds man.
posted by Mitheral at 2:45 PM on September 12, 2011

No, these were in the county jail. People who were awaiting trial or prelims.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 3:06 PM on September 12, 2011

I'm really sad that caller id killed the age of crank calls. What the hell do snotty kids do for fun these days anyhow?
posted by Afroblanco at 4:44 PM on September 12, 2011

What the hell do snotty kids do for fun these days anyhow?

Write "im so gay lol" as other people's facebook statuses when they accidentally stay signed in on a public computer.
posted by phunniemee at 4:46 PM on September 12, 2011

Obviously you guys have not been arrested. You get multiple calls and can call a cellphone.

Or so I've been told...yah...
posted by Sweetmag at 4:48 PM on September 12, 2011

I'm really sad that caller id killed the age of crank calls. What the hell do snotty kids do for fun these days anyhow?

Get sockpuppets and post on the internet?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:52 PM on September 12, 2011

What the hell do snotty kids do for fun these days anyhow?

Somebody told me that, once. I don't remember exactly, but it's something to do with a guy named "Chan".
posted by pecanpies at 5:41 PM on September 12, 2011

416 826 3272. i regularly get 4 am phone calls. i would welcome others

i warn you i am a really chatty drunk
posted by The Whelk at 6:02 PM on September 12, 2011

No, these were in the county jail. People who were awaiting trial or prelims.

You generally get one, maybe two phone calls at the time of your arrest, from the police station or processing facility, so that you can let your family know where you are, start the process of finding a lawyer, have someone bring you bail money if you're eligible for bond, etc. Those calls are generally free of charge to you.

If you're held after arrest until your prelim or trial, you're transferred to a local jail, where you ordinarily have phone privileges. That's where people are getting gauged on their phone pricing. The calls from jail phones are usually either collect-only, or paid for from inmate accounts at rates several orders of magnitude higher than what normal phone companies charge. Jails and prisons often have deals with phone companies where they get kickbacks in exchange for exclusive phone contracts.
posted by decathecting at 6:39 PM on September 12, 2011

Chatty drunks are by far the best.
posted by maryr at 7:18 PM on September 12, 2011

i warn you i am a really chatty drunk
posted by The Whelk

I find this hard to believe.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:48 PM on September 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Whelk--it would be an honour to get a super chatty drunken phone call from you at 4 am
posted by PinkMoose at 9:28 PM on September 12, 2011

I hope you enjoy talking about true blood
posted by The Whelk at 9:47 PM on September 12, 2011

i find the men really attractive, but the show fascile--but i have totes orgasmed to several scenes. is that the kind of talk we were talking about
posted by PinkMoose at 10:22 PM on September 12, 2011

Whelk, why don't you just call up the podcast line every time you're drunk? One full episode can be devoted to your ramblings, with background music from memusic contributors.
posted by davejay at 11:10 PM on September 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hi, is this the podcast line? This is flapjax, longtime listener, first time caller! Um... who was that drunk you had on the show last night? He was alternately funny and engaging but, well... a little bit full of himself, you know? Anyway, the music was great! Thanks!

Oh, and tell Jessamyn to get a little closer to the mic!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:33 AM on September 13, 2011

I hope you enjoy talking about true blood

dude i almost randomly rang you in abject hysterics sunday night after the finale but i took a valium and a bath instead.
posted by elizardbits at 4:41 AM on September 13, 2011

Forever a phone
posted by subbes at 5:24 AM on September 13, 2011

but i took a valium and a bath instead.

It certainly took the prize for Most Cliffhangers Occurring Directly After Each Other. Although i did call every single twist, except for one.
posted by The Whelk at 6:34 AM on September 13, 2011

(basic rule of thumb? What is the absolute worst thing that could happen? Okay that happens
posted by The Whelk at 6:35 AM on September 13, 2011

except for one.

yeah, i don't think anyone saw that coming. prediction: Pam saves the day.
posted by elizardbits at 9:54 AM on September 13, 2011

Should I be upset/offended no one wants my number?

"Forever a phone"

Indeed. =(
posted by Eideteker at 11:09 AM on September 13, 2011

I'll trade you, Eideteker. We can text each other what we had for breakfast. Everyone will be so jealous.
posted by theredpen at 11:21 AM on September 13, 2011

I don't even answer my phone, ever. Seriously. I had it on silent for That Baby's newborn days and I find that it's really a super handy way of going about life to just leave the phone OFF and then call someone BACK if I feel like speaking to them.

The one disadvantage of this system: I can't call myself if I lose my phone. This is a not insignificant drawback when one has an infant and therefore has experienced severe brain damage.

So, you could have my number if you wanted it. But it would just send you to a voicemail message asking you to just email me instead.
posted by sonika at 2:22 PM on September 13, 2011

> I don't even answer my phone, ever.

I usually only check my voicemail to get rid of the notification icon on my phone.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:24 PM on September 13, 2011 [4 favorites]

Wow.
Now I'm just imagining Ask.Mefi as a Savage-Love style podcast.
That could be trashy, interesting, and terrifying.
posted by Elysum at 12:21 AM on September 14, 2011

Okay. You can have my number. But I'm in a hurry and can only give the beginning now. 1-917-
posted by Splunge at 3:49 AM on September 14, 2011

Anyone who wants to be this open about their personal info on the internet probably already has a Facebook profile with their phone number filled in. You can already link to your Facebook from your Mefi profile.
posted by John Cohen at 9:23 AM on September 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

That adds a whole 'nuther layer of friending, though. My phone number certainly isn't public there -- I'm not utterly insane.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:31 AM on September 14, 2011

314-714-LIME. No, really.
posted by limeonaire at 4:59 PM on September 14, 2011

THE WHELK AND GREG NOG CALLED ME, I FELT TINGLY IN MY TUMMY AREA, TINGLY!
posted by PinkMoose at 8:37 PM on September 17, 2011 [1 favorite]

YOU THOUGHT I WAS SCOTT THOMPSON
posted by The Whelk at 10:01 PM on September 17, 2011

I thought you said Compton and I was confused. it was a loud bar
posted by The Whelk at 10:02 PM on September 17, 2011

HE IS A FRIEND WHO CALLS FROM CALIFORNIA.
posted by PinkMoose at 3:54 AM on September 18, 2011

Everybody knows California doesn't exist
posted by The Whelk at 7:52 AM on September 18, 2011

I thought he was David Koch.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:01 AM on September 18, 2011

Damn phone never rings.
posted by Duke999R at 2:31 PM on October 10, 2011