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Mapstalgia going viral.. January 11, 2012 7:42 AM   Subscribe

Rockpapershotgun linked to Cortex's new blog.
posted by empath to MetaFilter-Related at 7:42 AM (69 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

Now look what you've done, liquidindian!
posted by Grither at 7:50 AM on January 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Without all that hair pressing on his brain Cortex's various projects can take wing and soar majestically through the sky like a mighty eagle.
posted by The Whelk at 7:51 AM on January 11, 2012 [5 favorites]


Also, I should go make one for Earthbound or something.
posted by The Whelk at 7:52 AM on January 11, 2012


You say that websites can actually link to other websites? This internet thing is amazing! I think it may just catch on.
posted by crunchland at 8:01 AM on January 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Man, what a thing to wake up to. RPS is one of my few daily reads.

Anyway, every single mefite who has ever played a video game should go draw a map. It doesn't have to be well-drawn or accurate; part of the attraction of this for me is that memory is hazy, and the way we internalize a space vs. the way we create maps (and most of us aren't even amateur cartographers) is surprisingly different a lot of the time.

I feel like the most interesting thing that can come out of it is multiple takes on the same area, because then you get to enjoy not only someone's layout and notes on their personal game experience, but the wonderful little commonalities and contrasts in the details of different folks' memories of these shared experiences in fictional spaces.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:02 AM on January 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


I started drawing a map for the first resident evil but then all the normal officey sounds behind me/outside my office door started to sound ominous and threatening and now I am kind of huddled behind my desk with a letter opener.
posted by elizardbits at 8:21 AM on January 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


...just another day at Umbrella Corp.
posted by griphus at 8:30 AM on January 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


I somehow missed this the first time around but now I need to come up with the pithiest way possible to express a Monkey Island game in map form.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:34 AM on January 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I'm trying my best to do one for Quick Man's stage now.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:40 AM on January 11, 2012


I'm kind of blown away by the castlevania maps.
posted by Jpfed at 8:45 AM on January 11, 2012


If anyone wants to start a blog called 'wildly out of proportion maps showing where to find my house using landmarks that only I seem to be able to see', I've probably got a few things I can contribute...
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 9:08 AM on January 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh man, thanks for pointing this out! I would've missed this since I don't regularly read MeFi Projects or RPS. The Sonic Adventure 2 City Escape map made me weep tears of nostalgia!
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 9:10 AM on January 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


As someone who used to visualize in dreams how he would get through SMB lv. 1-1, various MegaMan stages, or Bionic Commando levels in a Real Life-ish scenario (though with all the powers/weapons of the characters, or, sometimes, Captain N's arsenal), I approve of this venture.
posted by Eideteker at 9:15 AM on January 11, 2012


Just sent mine in.
posted by deezil at 9:17 AM on January 11, 2012


Anyway, every single mefite who has ever played a video game should go draw a map.

I'm going to start drawing identical rectangles and uploading them as maps for every Madden game. Don't take it personally, I'm just trying to get a job at EA.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 9:24 AM on January 11, 2012


Someone should draw a map for how to get through the desert in King's Quest V.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:26 AM on January 11, 2012


I considered doing a map of King's Quest VI with labels for all the different places where I gave up and started the game over, but you wouldn't be able to see the cartography and I'd probably commit suicide before the labyrinth.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:52 AM on January 11, 2012


Seeing the Half-life 1 Black Mesa map made me check to see whether Black Mesa Source is done.

hahaha, of course it's not.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 9:56 AM on January 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


My map of HλLF-LIFE2:

----> .(1) <-----

1Desk Chair

Note: I didn't really get out much when I was playing. Maybe I should add a dotted path to the can and the beer fridge, a la Billy from the Family Circus, but that's about the extent of the traveling I managed when I was playing.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:59 AM on January 11, 2012


Cortex is giving us homework now?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:59 AM on January 11, 2012


How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:01 AM on January 11, 2012


I love the Doom map with the key, where the green is "ouch water." OUCH WATER. It seems like every game has ouch water; lava, poison swamps, toxic waste, something, who cares, it's all ouch water now!
posted by KathrynT at 10:04 AM on January 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


Without all that hair pressing on his brain Cortex's various projects can take wing and soar majestically through the sky like a mighty eagle.

Huh?

*checks profile and links and ...*

What the fucking fuck?

I mean, Jesus, Jesus, that's actually a pretty nice picture but you now look like the wisest and most evil and most beardy infant (Was this an Epiphany thing? You can tell me, I'm a lapsed Catholic, I can take it) in the world, as well as a perfectly nice-looking young man God forbid I give you a complex about your looks because the last thing we need is for you to go sock-puppeting into AskMe or something and I do really like the look a lot now that I've stopped breathing into a paper bag and did I say you look like an infant because I totally take that back now because I'm probably going to hell but it's just not what I was expecting and I'll shut up now, OK? Umm. Whoa. Dude. Whoa.
posted by maudlin at 10:12 AM on January 11, 2012


Man, I wish I had the time! I saw your original comment and thought it was a great idea, and am glad to see it was implemented. Much better than my idea to create a "Katy or Zooey?" website in the style or "Hot or Not".
posted by mysterpigg at 10:26 AM on January 11, 2012


Now I'm going to create a 'Franny or Zooey?' website in the style of 'Hot or Not.'
posted by shakespeherian at 10:28 AM on January 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


If we're all being creepy about people's personal appearance I will just say that cortex has always struck me for his remarkably kind eyes.
posted by winna at 10:29 AM on January 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


RPS, like Comics Alliance, is one of those blogs I could probably do a worthy Mefi post from every week and I have to resist the urge to do so.
posted by Artw at 10:30 AM on January 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Am I being creepy? Probably, even though I was trying to make fun of my shock, not cortex, who does look good in that picture (as always). Sorry.
posted by maudlin at 10:31 AM on January 11, 2012


Nah, you're not being creepy. The shaved head thing is a really huge change from how I've looked for basically the last fifteen years, I'm still getting used to it myself.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:34 AM on January 11, 2012


I didn't mean creepy in a particularly pejorative way, more as stage dressing for the kind eyes line. Otherwise if I don't lampshade the statement it sort of sounds like I'm saying THEY'RE NICE EYES... FOR ME TO KEEP IN A JAR IN MY COLLECTION.

Not that I have a collection of people's eyes in a big jar! Ho ho ho, that is not at all what I am saying!
posted by winna at 10:39 AM on January 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


Yeah, that would be creepy. You have to keep each set of eyes in its own individual jar. Otherwise, you have to pick out all the green ones every single time you sit down for a snack!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:43 AM on January 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


I for one think that it's great that Cortex is, presumably, an extra in a movie about backwoods survivalists and can't wait to see it when it comes out.
posted by Artw at 10:44 AM on January 11, 2012


If I'm growing my hair long then Cortex has to keep his short so there is balance in the Force.
posted by The Whelk at 10:46 AM on January 11, 2012


Oh man, this thread is starting to read like a rider for a tour by the Elder Gods, right down to what colour the eyes in the jar should and should not be, because if the venue doesn't get that right, who knows what else they're screwing up?
posted by maudlin at 10:46 AM on January 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Oh man where are we going to find "A small plate of snacks, vegetables, and a howling mass of newborn bastard infants?" at this hour?
posted by The Whelk at 10:48 AM on January 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


THE STARS ARE ALL WRONG!
posted by Artw at 10:50 AM on January 11, 2012


It is completely unacceptable for my client to be expected to work with a dressing room that is not festooned with the entrails of black goats powdered in mandrake root! What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are you people running here?
posted by winna at 10:51 AM on January 11, 2012


When the Elder Gods tour, we have 4 riders.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:53 AM on January 11, 2012 [6 favorites]


I SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED NON-EUCLIDEAN FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS
posted by The Whelk at 10:54 AM on January 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


Also, while xSUBZ3R069x is more than willing to go through the ceremony, the Elder Gods were expecting a slightly more ...conventional... offering for the virgin sacrifice.
posted by griphus at 10:58 AM on January 11, 2012


Is it really so hard for your staff to understand that if they look directly into the eyes of my client they will be blasted into insanity by the knowledge of a pitiless universe in which rationality and humanity are mere glowworms which fail to illuminate the vastness of cosmic indifferent madness?

You were clearly informed that when the staff encounters my client they are to avert their faces; any of your team driven to gibbering lunacy are clearly your own responsibility.
posted by winna at 10:58 AM on January 11, 2012


Ha, this is a very cute blog! Even though I don't recognize like half of the games.

I've played Final Fantasy IV and VI dozens and dozens of times (currently working through one game of the former and two of the latter -- what, sometimes I want to be in the world of balance and other times in the world of ruin, depends on mood!), but even though I could play them with my eyes closed I could not draw a world map for either game to save my life. I could draw really detailed lists of directions telling you where to go in what order though.
posted by bewilderbeast at 11:00 AM on January 11, 2012


OMG, Edogy's map is gorgeous and fun. Look at the cute little Satan baby! Awww.

Seriously, nice wings on that guy.

And that's pretty much how 'well' I do in most games, so a special thank you for that, too. *sniffles*. It's nice to feel included.
posted by misha at 11:28 AM on January 11, 2012


Also, please load MOAR MAPS now!
posted by misha at 11:58 AM on January 11, 2012


Would a "map" of a player-generated layout be acceptable? I'm thinking of a nice Theme Hospital layout complete with Slack Tongue and other machine rooms and a couple piles of vomit because those damn janitors never quite get it right, despite careful placement of plants, chairs, and radiators. (Of course the bathrooms will always be as far away as possible.)
posted by Glinn at 11:59 AM on January 11, 2012


Go for it, Glinn.

Also, please load MOAR MAPS now!

Yeah, I'll go push a few through.

Also, I just drew the WORST map of the opening level of Myst. Everyone should try that.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:04 PM on January 11, 2012


I've made some maps that are in TF2 now... I may be able to find the concept sketches? Or is that cheating
posted by MangyCarface at 12:15 PM on January 11, 2012


My hair is also short, so I think taz is the longest-haired mod now. cortex looks great with his new haircut. I have no opinion on video games, surprisingly.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:17 PM on January 11, 2012


The Whelk, I demand a review of your Maker's Mark out of your Bad Idea Dinosaur shot glass.
posted by deezil at 12:17 PM on January 11, 2012


It tasted like freedom deezil, sweet freedom.
posted by The Whelk at 12:29 PM on January 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


MangyCarface, that is a kind of cheating that I will happily highlight and handwave. A little bit of awesome game world paraphernalia around the edges probably won't create a mission-creep problem. Find 'em and write 'em up, please.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:44 PM on January 11, 2012




Dear cortex,
</CENTER>
Sincerely,
A person struggling to read your blog
posted by Sys Rq at 1:35 PM on January 11, 2012


Yeah, I agree, that's just how the default template treats it. I'll look into tightening up the design.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:50 PM on January 11, 2012


Huzzah! But I'm still mad at the RPS guys for deleting a proper, all-cylinders-firing wonderchicken comedy rant I wrote there about Battlefield Heroes a coupla years back. Those bastards!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:42 PM on January 11, 2012


Nice! Saw this on RPS and had no idea!
posted by Ducks or monkeys at 12:31 AM on January 12, 2012


I really wasn't expecting to find a natural selection map when I was paging through there, but then I saw that it was kavasa, so that makes sense, since he is one of the other 5 people in the world who I believe actually remembers the game.

It bothered the hell out of me that I didn't recognize the map though, so I thought I'd figure out which it was. Turns out that it's not too far off - actual and remembered. And I still weirdly remember almost nothing about it.
posted by TypographicalError at 12:56 AM on January 12, 2012


So how often should I be checking to see if there's been any more new maps added? I'm starting to think every 15 minutes is probably too often.
posted by Grither at 5:52 AM on January 12, 2012


I'll probably add a small lump of new stuff a couple times a day; I want to keep putting stuff out because it's awesome, but I also don't want to just completely flood the place, so that sort of pace will probably work as a compromise that'll keep the backlog from increasing indefinitely.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:10 AM on January 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Saw the site linked on FB this morning but didn't have a chance to check it out, but did think "Huh I wonder if that Josh Millard is Cortex?" - small world!
posted by radioamy at 7:34 AM on January 12, 2012


I'm tempted to draw a map of my minecraft world. And nobody would know if i was wrong :)
posted by empath at 12:06 PM on January 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


I've got a couple "here is my map from a you-make-the-map" memories submitted already, yeah. Fun little stuff like that around the edges of the main memory stuff would be totally fine.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:07 PM on January 12, 2012


Huh, odd. This is totally a non-starter for me. There are some games I should be able to do this for, but as much as I wrack my mind I couldn't come up with any. Maybe 3 screens of Pitfall. I wonder if that specific memory hole for me is more like a black hole. Or perhaps I remembered them differently, as in ups, downs, lefts, and rights, rather than spatially.
posted by P.o.B. at 2:48 PM on January 12, 2012


"Maybe 3 screens of Pitfall" is a total yes-starter, in my humble.

I'd be interested to see less literally spatial maps, too (and have a couple things like that in the queue, actually)—more a mental map than a cartographic one, even as sort of a "you do x and then you do y and then there's the thing and look out or z will kill you" litany of How To Beat The Level would be interesting.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:55 PM on January 12, 2012


I just spent a few minutes flying around Q2DM1 in my mind.

Now I want to go home and play it (or at least the Q3 version).
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:20 PM on January 12, 2012


More brain wracking to be had, then. Maybe in the operational area.
posted by P.o.B. at 3:24 PM on January 12, 2012


Has anybody mapped Pong, yet?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:30 PM on January 12, 2012


Naturally.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:34 PM on January 12, 2012


This wasn't posted to the front page. Why wasn't this posted to the front page? I posted it to the front page.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 1:03 PM on January 13, 2012


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