Page views! Page views! Page views! October 5, 2012 4:46 PM Subscribe
It was inevitable: BuzzFeed has discovered AskMe. (But we are just 17, if you know what I mean.)
Yes, the white lace salmon lasagna question had been getting viral... it was only a matter of time until the BuzzFeeders went "AHA! MeFi DOES have something we can make fun of!!"
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:53 PM on October 5, 2012
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:53 PM on October 5, 2012
Buzzfeed, bad touch.
posted by The Whelk at 4:54 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 4:54 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
Someone had a deadline.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 4:54 PM on October 5, 2012 [67 favorites]
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 4:54 PM on October 5, 2012 [67 favorites]
I'm baffled that they would obscure the user names when there's a link to the page where the question was asked immediately below. What's that supposed to accomplish?
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:56 PM on October 5, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:56 PM on October 5, 2012 [5 favorites]
I think that's the laziest Buzzfeed 'article' I've ever seen. Which is impressive in a way.
posted by grapesaresour at 4:56 PM on October 5, 2012 [9 favorites]
posted by grapesaresour at 4:56 PM on October 5, 2012 [9 favorites]
I always get slightly nervous when the outside world notices Metafilter, like finding someone on your laptop after you get back from the bathroom and you can't remember if you've cleared your browser history or not.
posted by The Whelk at 4:56 PM on October 5, 2012 [35 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 4:56 PM on October 5, 2012 [35 favorites]
Sadly, now anyone posting to AskMe will think twice before typing "I have a giant, round head". (#16)
Now I see the benefit of having the 'cool kids' of the Intarweb ignoring us.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:57 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
Now I see the benefit of having the 'cool kids' of the Intarweb ignoring us.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:57 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
Oh god, that lasagne question, I can't even. What kind of shambles must your life be in to not notice a plateful of rotting fish next to your bed? FOR A WEEK?
I feel so much better about my lazy approach to housecleaning now. The giant hairball in the corner is much less distressing.
posted by elizardbits at 4:57 PM on October 5, 2012 [21 favorites]
I feel so much better about my lazy approach to housecleaning now. The giant hairball in the corner is much less distressing.
posted by elizardbits at 4:57 PM on October 5, 2012 [21 favorites]
So the title is "most absurd questions ever asked on the internet" or similar, and the questions are all random AskMes from the last two or three days?
posted by LobsterMitten at 4:59 PM on October 5, 2012 [44 favorites]
posted by LobsterMitten at 4:59 PM on October 5, 2012 [44 favorites]
No questions before that were ever absurd! Ever!
posted by elizardbits at 5:00 PM on October 5, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 5:00 PM on October 5, 2012 [5 favorites]
Yeah, question of the comedic merit of the whole exercise left aside for the moment, it's a little silly that (a) some of the questions are pretty clearly phrased above the fold in slightly idiosyncratic ways that obscuring the more inside dresses up as weirdness and (b) a couple of them seem to be weird only in the sense that someone used very slightly imperfect English.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:01 PM on October 5, 2012
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:01 PM on October 5, 2012
I'm damn impressed with Ask for nailing #7 in one shot.
posted by darksasami at 5:01 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by darksasami at 5:01 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
My question about how much a real life pirate treasure chest of gold be worth in modern dollars was in no way absurd!
posted by The Whelk at 5:01 PM on October 5, 2012
posted by The Whelk at 5:01 PM on October 5, 2012
Are these supposed to be funny? Admittedly, out of context, some of them can be funny, or notable for the schadenfreude, but I'm not getting, like... an overall reason why those were chosen specifically?
posted by Mizu at 5:02 PM on October 5, 2012
posted by Mizu at 5:02 PM on October 5, 2012
Next on Buzzfeed: 9 Internet Content Developers Who Aren't Even Trying Anymore, for Fuck's Sake
posted by scody at 5:02 PM on October 5, 2012 [45 favorites]
posted by scody at 5:02 PM on October 5, 2012 [45 favorites]
IT's weird that they covered up the user names. I mean, you just copy the text into google and find the post - it's not like they're protecting anyone's privacy.
Edit: I don't need to fix a typo, but I do need to confess that I hadn't read this when I posted: I'm baffled that they would obscure the user names when there's a link to the page where the question was asked immediately below. What's that supposed to accomplish?
posted by latkes at 5:04 PM on October 5, 2012
Edit: I don't need to fix a typo, but I do need to confess that I hadn't read this when I posted: I'm baffled that they would obscure the user names when there's a link to the page where the question was asked immediately below. What's that supposed to accomplish?
posted by latkes at 5:04 PM on October 5, 2012
so buzzfeed 8 times and then who else?
posted by elizardbits at 5:04 PM on October 5, 2012
posted by elizardbits at 5:04 PM on October 5, 2012
That bug question is from today. Also, that is a good question. I don't know if it's one of the 17 best, but still.
posted by King Bee at 5:09 PM on October 5, 2012
posted by King Bee at 5:09 PM on October 5, 2012
those are the best questions they found? dude, they really *really* need to get out more often.
or, in fact, maybe not.
posted by rmd1023 at 5:09 PM on October 5, 2012
or, in fact, maybe not.
posted by rmd1023 at 5:09 PM on October 5, 2012
They need to do way instain writer > who kill thier reeders. becuse these reeder cant frigth back? it was on the news this mroing a writer in ar who had kill her three reders. they are taking the three reeder back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with the editor who lost his avdrtizrs; i am truley sorry for your lots
posted by scody at 5:13 PM on October 5, 2012 [37 favorites]
posted by scody at 5:13 PM on October 5, 2012 [37 favorites]
Wait ...we can kill our readers?
posted by The Whelk at 5:16 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 5:16 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
socdy borken
posted by elizardbits at 5:18 PM on October 5, 2012 [14 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 5:18 PM on October 5, 2012 [14 favorites]
I'll be right back guys, just got to go the next room to fetch, um...something.
posted by arcticseal at 5:20 PM on October 5, 2012
posted by arcticseal at 5:20 PM on October 5, 2012
Someone show Buzzfeed the Anonymous account.
posted by carsonb at 5:25 PM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by carsonb at 5:25 PM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]
Edit: I don't need to fix a typo, but I do need to confess
I guess every single MetaFilter user is going to have to receive a registered letter informing them that this is illegal for the idea to take hold.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:26 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
I guess every single MetaFilter user is going to have to receive a registered letter informing them that this is illegal for the idea to take hold.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:26 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
I guess every single MetaFilter user is going to have to receive a registered letter informing them that this is illegal for the idea to take hold.
Ha. Good luck. The only way to stop this is to ditch the edit function. Some people can't help using the edit function to add asides to their comment in express violation of the stated purpose/rules of the edit function. It's hilarious.
posted by nooneyouknow at 5:31 PM on October 5, 2012
Ha. Good luck. The only way to stop this is to ditch the edit function. Some people can't help using the edit function to add asides to their comment in express violation of the stated purpose/rules of the edit function. It's hilarious.
posted by nooneyouknow at 5:31 PM on October 5, 2012
It's brand new, people are excitable. Give it time.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:36 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:36 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
no we wanna see smitings
posted by elizardbits at 5:38 PM on October 5, 2012 [16 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 5:38 PM on October 5, 2012 [16 favorites]
This seems as good a place as any to mention the existence of "Fighty," the pterodactyl with a head shaped like a piece of ham.
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:38 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:38 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
I guess every single MetaFilter user is going to have to receive a registered letter informing them that this is illegal for the idea to take hold.
Meatbomb is in charge of this. Where is he?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:44 PM on October 5, 2012 [11 favorites]
Meatbomb is in charge of this. Where is he?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:44 PM on October 5, 2012 [11 favorites]
Shall I send a banjo to my crush? Kthxbye.
How is baby formed?
posted by fixedgear at 5:48 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
How is baby formed?
posted by fixedgear at 5:48 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
That has to be the laziest bit of copypasta ever. Actual use of the search tool would have produced more noteworthy questions. Like this. Or this.
posted by ambrosia at 5:49 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by ambrosia at 5:49 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
It's brand new, people are excitable. Give it time.
You should see how upset I get when people post thread updates to MetaTalk. One of the many reasons I am unsuited to modhood.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:50 PM on October 5, 2012
You should see how upset I get when people post thread updates to MetaTalk. One of the many reasons I am unsuited to modhood.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:50 PM on October 5, 2012
Those questions are all really recent. Gathered together they look, well, bizarre, but I never thought any of them were weird when I saw them originally.
well, maybe the salmon shirt. But still.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:50 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
well, maybe the salmon shirt. But still.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:50 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
I am clearly way too far in, because all of those questions seem perfectly reasonable to me.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:54 PM on October 5, 2012 [29 favorites]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:54 PM on October 5, 2012 [29 favorites]
Those questions are all really recent.
Yeah that's what I was going to say. It's like someone just took the last 100 posts from Ask and picked the 17 ones with words like 'bug' in them.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:54 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yeah that's what I was going to say. It's like someone just took the last 100 posts from Ask and picked the 17 ones with words like 'bug' in them.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:54 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
This list is more absurd than the supposedly "absurd" AskMe questions.
#2 is simply asking for an insect identification.
#3 was a great question with very interesting answers. Why is it absurd to be curious about how people did everyday tasks before the invention of modern technology we now take for granted?
#6 is far too general to be even vaguely amusing, let alone absurd.
#11 seems to be a completely unremarkable example of someone who's interested in improving their working vocabulary. This is such a common interest that there are countless books on the subject.
posted by John Cohen at 6:02 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
#2 is simply asking for an insect identification.
#3 was a great question with very interesting answers. Why is it absurd to be curious about how people did everyday tasks before the invention of modern technology we now take for granted?
#6 is far too general to be even vaguely amusing, let alone absurd.
#11 seems to be a completely unremarkable example of someone who's interested in improving their working vocabulary. This is such a common interest that there are countless books on the subject.
posted by John Cohen at 6:02 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
A question in the Buzzfeed sidebar was, "What is Lady Gaga wearing today?"
posted by RobotHero at 6:08 PM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by RobotHero at 6:08 PM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]
Horace Rumpole writes "I'm baffled that they would obscure the user names when there's a link to the page where the question was asked immediately below. What's that supposed to accomplish?"
No kidding. And they a) serve images of the quote instead of text b) they don't put assign ALT text to the image and c) the image is only loaded via javascript. It's like they asked themselves "How can we make this page completely useless to blind internet users".
Plus of course the mentioned "last three days of ask me" thing. How the heck you can write an article like this and not include the body question is beyond me.
nooneyouknow writes "Ha. Good luck. The only way to stop this is to ditch the edit function. Some people can't help using the edit function to add asides to their comment in express violation of the stated purpose/rules of the edit function. It's hilarious."
Once the excitement wears off a few bannings will essentially eliminate the problem. You'll want to make your edit joke hard enough to be banned over it which isn't going to happen very often.
posted by Mitheral at 6:20 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
No kidding. And they a) serve images of the quote instead of text b) they don't put assign ALT text to the image and c) the image is only loaded via javascript. It's like they asked themselves "How can we make this page completely useless to blind internet users".
Plus of course the mentioned "last three days of ask me" thing. How the heck you can write an article like this and not include the body question is beyond me.
nooneyouknow writes "Ha. Good luck. The only way to stop this is to ditch the edit function. Some people can't help using the edit function to add asides to their comment in express violation of the stated purpose/rules of the edit function. It's hilarious."
Once the excitement wears off a few bannings will essentially eliminate the problem. You'll want to make your edit joke hard enough to be banned over it which isn't going to happen very often.
posted by Mitheral at 6:20 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
The bug crawling out of the hair grossed me out a lot. The salmon lasagne ... I'd like someone to make me some salmon lasagne, and I promise not to store laundry in it. It's been an interesting few days on ask.me.
It's a bit surprising that more of Ask.me and MeFi doesn't get harvested by content-hungry repackagers. Let's face it, slinging mud at buzzfeed isn't very challenging.
posted by theora55 at 6:20 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
It's a bit surprising that more of Ask.me and MeFi doesn't get harvested by content-hungry repackagers. Let's face it, slinging mud at buzzfeed isn't very challenging.
posted by theora55 at 6:20 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yep, lazy, lazy, lazy..... we should ask for a retraction on that basis alone.
posted by HuronBob at 6:29 PM on October 5, 2012
posted by HuronBob at 6:29 PM on October 5, 2012
How did they miss this one: my doorknob is broken and I'm stuck in my bedroom! help me open the door?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:31 PM on October 5, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:31 PM on October 5, 2012 [7 favorites]
I imagine buzzfeed to be like in one of those factory farms with huge toughs of feed on a conveyor belt , but instead of corn and pigslop it's pictures of cats and memes.
posted by hellojed at 6:35 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by hellojed at 6:35 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
Meatbomb is in charge of this. Where is he?
On the astral plane
posted by atrazine at 6:36 PM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]
On the astral plane
posted by atrazine at 6:36 PM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]
I always get slightly nervous when the outside world notices Metafilter, like finding someone on your laptop after you get back from the bathroom and you can't remember if you've cleared your browser history or not.
Brings back memories of the time when AOL users were suddenly opened up to Usenet...
posted by Melismata at 6:39 PM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]
Brings back memories of the time when AOL users were suddenly opened up to Usenet...
posted by Melismata at 6:39 PM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]
2) Respecting our Readers
We care about the experience of people who read BuzzFeed and we don’t try to trick them for short term gain. This approach is surprisingly rare.
How does this matter in practice? First of all, we don’t publish slideshows. Instead we publish scrollable lists so readers don’t have to click a million times and can easily scroll through a post. The primary reason to publish slideshows, as far as I can tell, is to juice page views and banner ad impressions. Slideshows are super annoying and lists are awesome so we do lists!
Jonah Peretti outlines the secret to BuzzFeed's success.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:45 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
We care about the experience of people who read BuzzFeed and we don’t try to trick them for short term gain. This approach is surprisingly rare.
How does this matter in practice? First of all, we don’t publish slideshows. Instead we publish scrollable lists so readers don’t have to click a million times and can easily scroll through a post. The primary reason to publish slideshows, as far as I can tell, is to juice page views and banner ad impressions. Slideshows are super annoying and lists are awesome so we do lists!
Jonah Peretti outlines the secret to BuzzFeed's success.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:45 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
BuzzFeed is one of the very few publishers with the resources, talent, and focus to build the whole enchilada.
That was really interesting to read, because he's totally right about that, and we know because we're another site that does the same thing.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:48 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
That was really interesting to read, because he's totally right about that, and we know because we're another site that does the same thing.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:48 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
#17 Please recommend me some hair removal cream for the private area of a man. [more inside]
Gross!
posted by phaedon at 6:55 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
Gross!
posted by phaedon at 6:55 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
not everyone likes bushwhacking through a copious manthicket with a machete and a team of sherpas okay
posted by elizardbits at 6:58 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 6:58 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
I'm baffled that they would obscure the user names when there's a link to the page where the question was asked immediately below. What's that supposed to accomplish?
Maybe it's just to make the copyright infringement just that little bit more actionable?
All posts are © their original authors.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:00 PM on October 5, 2012
Maybe it's just to make the copyright infringement just that little bit more actionable?
All posts are © their original authors.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:00 PM on October 5, 2012
Number 6 is a great question.
I'm still trying to get my head around Buzzfeed. Is this like a lists-only Cracked, with less bro humor?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:08 PM on October 5, 2012
I'm still trying to get my head around Buzzfeed. Is this like a lists-only Cracked, with less bro humor?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:08 PM on October 5, 2012
...Oh, fuck.
posted by KChasm at 7:18 PM on October 5, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by KChasm at 7:18 PM on October 5, 2012 [5 favorites]
I'm still trying to get my head around Buzzfeed. Is this like a lists-only Cracked, with less bro humor?
It's more like FAILblog, with less focus.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:20 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
It's more like FAILblog, with less focus.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:20 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
...Oh, fuck.
You're fine, we have your back.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:22 PM on October 5, 2012 [6 favorites]
You're fine, we have your back.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:22 PM on October 5, 2012 [6 favorites]
I'm still trying to get my head around Buzzfeed. Is this like a lists-only Cracked, with less bro humor?It's for those people too illiterate for Twitter, too incoherent for FAILblog, too impatient for Facebook, and too lazy to hold an opinion that isn't easily categorized into eight basic responses. A place for answers to questions you never asked, for lists with inexplicable numbers of items, and with gossip about people whose existence is less consequential to your own than an 8th century Afghan cow herder. It's the best of the web, it's the worst of the web, it is a place of wisdom, it is a place of foolishness, it is the website of belief, it is the website of incredulity—in short, the website is so far like Metafilter, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
I read it every day, religiously, with my computer desk properly qiblahed toward New York. You should too.
posted by Jehan at 7:52 PM on October 5, 2012 [6 favorites]
This will end with Jonah Peretti pretending to be Matthowie in order to get him out of prison to be with his one true love. I guess Pinterest will have to knit our usernames into a scarf, or something.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:59 PM on October 5, 2012
posted by ChuraChura at 7:59 PM on October 5, 2012
It's called "17 Best Questions People Have Asked Strangers on the Internet," but even as a semi-lurker I know that's incorrect. You guys aren't strangers!!
posted by aka burlap at 8:02 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by aka burlap at 8:02 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
Strange, yes. But I have met multiple MeFites in person, therefore: not strangers. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID, BUZZFEED.
posted by Lexica at 8:10 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by Lexica at 8:10 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
"Fighty," the pterodactyl with a head shaped like a piece of ham.
Halloween costume dillema SOLVED! Thanks, Ask MetaFilter!
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:18 PM on October 5, 2012
Halloween costume dillema SOLVED! Thanks, Ask MetaFilter!
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:18 PM on October 5, 2012
There is no way AskMe questions are stranger than the cyclopean horror that is Yahoo Answers. I listen to MBMBAM.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 8:19 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by Kitty Stardust at 8:19 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
I can't wait for more quality BuzzFeed content:
12 Awesomely Ridiculous Banner Ads
6 Best Purses I Saw on the Subway This Morning
21 Weird Things Katy Perry Has Worn
15 Things That Look Sorta Like the Crumbs in My Bag of Cheetos
11 Hilarious Google Image Searches
7 More Pictures of Kittens
18 Things I'm Considering Having for Lunch
32 Ways Content Farm Writers Cut Corners
9 Stupidest Fake BuzzFeed Article Ideas from Some Snarky Butthead Who Thinks She Could Do My Job (and 23 Other Buttheads Who Already Made the Same Tired Joke)
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:19 PM on October 5, 2012 [14 favorites]
12 Awesomely Ridiculous Banner Ads
6 Best Purses I Saw on the Subway This Morning
21 Weird Things Katy Perry Has Worn
15 Things That Look Sorta Like the Crumbs in My Bag of Cheetos
11 Hilarious Google Image Searches
7 More Pictures of Kittens
18 Things I'm Considering Having for Lunch
32 Ways Content Farm Writers Cut Corners
9 Stupidest Fake BuzzFeed Article Ideas from Some Snarky Butthead Who Thinks She Could Do My Job (and 23 Other Buttheads Who Already Made the Same Tired Joke)
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:19 PM on October 5, 2012 [14 favorites]
Metafilter: copious manthicket
posted by The Whelk at 8:37 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 8:37 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
The questions:
(I know they're linked in the article, but why give them the pageviews?)
1: "I accidentally left my favourite (white, lace) top in a plate of salmon lasagne and left it for a week."
2: "What is this bug?"
3: "How were babies' excretions handled before "modern" diaper technology?"
4: "How does Hollywood film a scene without taking the camera off of the character and then you realize that the character has changed (but the camera never left them!)?"
5: "Can this shirt be found again?"
6: "Not trying to be in control for the actions of others is frequent and good advice."
7: "My mom remembers going to a drive-in in 1964(ish) in Abilene, TX with scenes of a woman climbing innumerable stairs on her knees and a man sticking knives in his arms."
8: "Why do I keep finding individual latex gloves on the sidewalk in my neighborhood?"
9: "How fat DOES a man have to be to stop a runaway trolley?"
10: "How do I get the dog to play with the cat like its a cat?"
11: "I have a list of several hundred words that I know and like..."
12: "How much would a human have to weigh to be unable to jump (lift both feet off the floor at once at least a couple of inches)?"
13: Irony is difficult to understand, and it's driving me nuts."
14: "I just found out my landlord is a meth addict."
15: A question about a jar of pickled onions I found in my fridge: will it be the cause of my untimely demise?
16: "Oh god, hats."
17: "Please recommend me some hair removal cream for the private area of a man."
posted by zarq at 8:43 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
(I know they're linked in the article, but why give them the pageviews?)
1: "I accidentally left my favourite (white, lace) top in a plate of salmon lasagne and left it for a week."
2: "What is this bug?"
3: "How were babies' excretions handled before "modern" diaper technology?"
4: "How does Hollywood film a scene without taking the camera off of the character and then you realize that the character has changed (but the camera never left them!)?"
5: "Can this shirt be found again?"
6: "Not trying to be in control for the actions of others is frequent and good advice."
7: "My mom remembers going to a drive-in in 1964(ish) in Abilene, TX with scenes of a woman climbing innumerable stairs on her knees and a man sticking knives in his arms."
8: "Why do I keep finding individual latex gloves on the sidewalk in my neighborhood?"
9: "How fat DOES a man have to be to stop a runaway trolley?"
10: "How do I get the dog to play with the cat like its a cat?"
11: "I have a list of several hundred words that I know and like..."
12: "How much would a human have to weigh to be unable to jump (lift both feet off the floor at once at least a couple of inches)?"
13: Irony is difficult to understand, and it's driving me nuts."
14: "I just found out my landlord is a meth addict."
15: A question about a jar of pickled onions I found in my fridge: will it be the cause of my untimely demise?
16: "Oh god, hats."
17: "Please recommend me some hair removal cream for the private area of a man."
posted by zarq at 8:43 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]
But look on the bright side, for the first time we have objective scientific evidence of the exact proportions of WTF, LOL, EW and FAIL in the composition of Ask questions. The implications of this data on the theory of CRAY and OMG parity conservation aren't yet clear, but I expect some exciting results in the future.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 8:47 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by strangely stunted trees at 8:47 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
I really, really love that there are people in the BUZZFEED COMMENT SECTION making fun of the way some people use the internet.
(Please rate this comment "LOL")
posted by no regrets, coyote at 9:02 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
(Please rate this comment "LOL")
posted by no regrets, coyote at 9:02 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]
Oh, good to have a reminder about #8 - when I first saw it, it didn't have any answers. I would've forgotten to go back and read it, so thanks, Buzzfeed!
posted by rtha at 9:19 PM on October 5, 2012
posted by rtha at 9:19 PM on October 5, 2012
My top 17:
1) I can't see!
2) My job sucks, should I take a test?
3) I'm asking for my WIFE, who you've never met, and lives in Canada.
4) I have a good job despite not taking the test.
5) Totally not asking after a fetish novel.
6) Crazy neighbor lady made me feel bad.
7) The train station is down-hill from my house.
8) Oh, christ, oh fuck, oh christ, oh fuck...
9) Rupert sucks.
10) I need better hobbies.
11) Much better hobbies.
12) I paid more for my Brooks saddle than I did for the bike. (No, actually... )
13) Working on sundays sucks. I need to take the fucking test.
14) Roku, actually.
15) Latex is seriously oversold. As a leather fetishist, I should have known this from the start.
16) My wife thinks she likes long hair - up until it makes me looks like an extra on "Welcome Back Kotter"
17) I think I'm creative, but I'm too bothered by life to show off my genius. Do my work for me?
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:20 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
1) I can't see!
2) My job sucks, should I take a test?
3) I'm asking for my WIFE, who you've never met, and lives in Canada.
4) I have a good job despite not taking the test.
5) Totally not asking after a fetish novel.
6) Crazy neighbor lady made me feel bad.
7) The train station is down-hill from my house.
8) Oh, christ, oh fuck, oh christ, oh fuck...
9) Rupert sucks.
10) I need better hobbies.
11) Much better hobbies.
12) I paid more for my Brooks saddle than I did for the bike. (No, actually... )
13) Working on sundays sucks. I need to take the fucking test.
14) Roku, actually.
15) Latex is seriously oversold. As a leather fetishist, I should have known this from the start.
16) My wife thinks she likes long hair - up until it makes me looks like an extra on "Welcome Back Kotter"
17) I think I'm creative, but I'm too bothered by life to show off my genius. Do my work for me?
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:20 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
#17 Please recommend me some hair removal cream for the private area of a man. [more inside]
I read that [more inside] and was hoping for tips on depilating my bezoar, absorbed twin, or dermoid teratoma. Metafilter, I am disappoint.
posted by hattifattener at 9:23 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
I read that [more inside] and was hoping for tips on depilating my bezoar, absorbed twin, or dermoid teratoma. Metafilter, I am disappoint.
posted by hattifattener at 9:23 PM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]
I don't understand how these questions are weird or funny. (Okay, except maybe the salmon laundry one).
These, on the other hand... How do we get these people to join metafilter?
posted by lollusc at 10:50 PM on October 5, 2012
These, on the other hand... How do we get these people to join metafilter?
posted by lollusc at 10:50 PM on October 5, 2012
Someone had a deadline.
If only they hadn't rushed to press, they could have gotten this one, which is pretty much my favorite thing on the whole internet right now.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:22 AM on October 6, 2012 [5 favorites]
If only they hadn't rushed to press, they could have gotten this one, which is pretty much my favorite thing on the whole internet right now.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:22 AM on October 6, 2012 [5 favorites]
I am clearly way too far in, because all of those questions seem perfectly reasonable to me.
Yeah, me too. Even the salmon-encrusted clothing one. I mean, who can honestly say they've never ever done something like that?
The reality is, though, the questions are out of context. Quite apart from many of them not including the whole question, it's the answers that are the saving grace. Even the most disturbing question is redeemed by awesome, thoughtful and non-judgmental answers. AskMe never ceases to amaze in that regard.
posted by dg at 2:11 AM on October 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yeah, me too. Even the salmon-encrusted clothing one. I mean, who can honestly say they've never ever done something like that?
The reality is, though, the questions are out of context. Quite apart from many of them not including the whole question, it's the answers that are the saving grace. Even the most disturbing question is redeemed by awesome, thoughtful and non-judgmental answers. AskMe never ceases to amaze in that regard.
posted by dg at 2:11 AM on October 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
Probably 80 other people have expressed surprise at the limited sample size they chose to prove their point, when (no offense to the posts chosen) there are so very many examples of truly extraordinary questions in the treasure trove of AskMe...but I was so surprised at their narrow vision, I must stiltedly restate the obvious.
Dang, BuzzFeed. You didn't even try to not try.
posted by batmonkey at 2:29 AM on October 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
Dang, BuzzFeed. You didn't even try to not try.
posted by batmonkey at 2:29 AM on October 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
All of those questions are from the same *day*. There's only a time stamp, no date. Looks like they didn't bother to scroll beyond the first page.
I would have at least run some searches on "alien" "psycho ex" "crotchless" and "ketchup." Lazy work, Buzzfeed.
posted by bunderful at 7:33 AM on October 6, 2012
I would have at least run some searches on "alien" "psycho ex" "crotchless" and "ketchup." Lazy work, Buzzfeed.
posted by bunderful at 7:33 AM on October 6, 2012
The questions: (I know they're linked in the article, but why give them the pageviews?)
This illustrates an interesting copyright edge case. Buzzfeed in theory has a news/commentary defense against infringement as they are a press (of sorts) and they are only quoting snippets of the original work (whether you consider that orginal work to be the question page or the askme front page).
However; posting their entire compilation (without attribution though of course there is a link on the page to the original) is probably crossing the line in a theoretical legal sense.
posted by Mitheral at 7:39 AM on October 6, 2012
This illustrates an interesting copyright edge case. Buzzfeed in theory has a news/commentary defense against infringement as they are a press (of sorts) and they are only quoting snippets of the original work (whether you consider that orginal work to be the question page or the askme front page).
However; posting their entire compilation (without attribution though of course there is a link on the page to the original) is probably crossing the line in a theoretical legal sense.
posted by Mitheral at 7:39 AM on October 6, 2012
I was horrified by the moldy salmon lasagna shirt question. I couldn't comment because I was judging so, so hard.
Later that day, I found a moldy, decomposing tomato under the passenger seat of my car.
posted by murfed13 at 7:56 AM on October 6, 2012 [19 favorites]
Later that day, I found a moldy, decomposing tomato under the passenger seat of my car.
posted by murfed13 at 7:56 AM on October 6, 2012 [19 favorites]
I'm curious in just how much traffic this drove to Ask as a result, since the links were pretty prominent. Surely the click-throughs from Buzzfeed aren't a bad thing of themselves. Hundreds? Thousands?
Also, let us not discuss the dirty lunch tupperwares that sat in a bag on the back floorboard of my car for 2 months until I threw them away. Beam in my eye indeed.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:28 AM on October 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
Also, let us not discuss the dirty lunch tupperwares that sat in a bag on the back floorboard of my car for 2 months until I threw them away. Beam in my eye indeed.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:28 AM on October 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
How the hell do you people have so much food in your house and nearby surroundings?
posted by The Whelk at 8:30 AM on October 6, 2012
posted by The Whelk at 8:30 AM on October 6, 2012
The 17 best questions people have asked in, what, the last fortnight? Lazy as fuck or what? I could write a better article using wget.
posted by pompomtom at 8:32 AM on October 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by pompomtom at 8:32 AM on October 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
"It Happened Last Fortnight" would be a great Victorian Farce title.
posted by The Whelk at 8:36 AM on October 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 8:36 AM on October 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
Well I've never seen any strange, odd or notable questions on ask metaf ... oh.
posted by Wordshore at 9:04 AM on October 6, 2012
posted by Wordshore at 9:04 AM on October 6, 2012
Hey, Mickey Mouse's motivations and methods deserve questioning.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:11 AM on October 6, 2012
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:11 AM on October 6, 2012
I was wrong about the time frame of the posts selected. Still think Buzz could have done a lot better with some effort.
posted by bunderful at 5:57 PM on October 6, 2012
posted by bunderful at 5:57 PM on October 6, 2012
Am I the only one who thought the weird part of the lasagna question was that there was still left over lasagna a week later?
I mean, it's lasagna.
posted by Bonzai at 8:42 PM on October 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
I mean, it's lasagna.
posted by Bonzai at 8:42 PM on October 6, 2012 [1 favorite]
That, and also these folks obviously don't have pets. We have a very nice dog that would never touch our food as long as it's on a table or counter (or couch or chair or bed), but whose strict policy is ANYTHING THAT HITS THE FLOOR IS MINE MINE MINE. MINE!!
She's a working dog, see... working to keep the floor clean of even a single crumb of salmon lasagna.
posted by taz (staff) at 10:25 PM on October 6, 2012
She's a working dog, see... working to keep the floor clean of even a single crumb of salmon lasagna.
posted by taz (staff) at 10:25 PM on October 6, 2012
My giant round head made the cut?
No wonder I never got the girls in high school.
posted by maxwelton at 2:40 AM on October 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
No wonder I never got the girls in high school.
posted by maxwelton at 2:40 AM on October 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yeah, I can't believe they didn't use this one:
Because of a practical joke gone wrong (don't ask) I have wound up with second degree burns on my ass, including between the cheeks.
posted by MexicanYenta at 4:32 AM on October 7, 2012 [2 favorites]
Because of a practical joke gone wrong (don't ask) I have wound up with second degree burns on my ass, including between the cheeks.
posted by MexicanYenta at 4:32 AM on October 7, 2012 [2 favorites]
I know this is a version of 'let's you and him fight,' but here's Wonkette's quick slap at Buzzfeed from a couple of days ago:
Buzzfeed, a digital McDonald’s® wrapper of GIFs and listicles, that (under ex-Politico writer Ben Smith’s guidance) is a real news organization now.
Buzzfeed's political section is new this year, after Ben Smith was hired last December. Somehow that's been enough to turn Buzzfeed kinda sorta respectable when you see it linked elsewhere, but then you actually visit its home page and get reminded of what it has been, and still mostly is: horrifically lazy and dumb. But it's apparently a working strategy; if that CEO memo from a couple of months ago can be believed, they're growing like mad.
Who knows? Maybe the quality will improve, too. I wouldn't bet on that part, but we can always have high hopes for the Internet, can't we?
posted by mediareport at 9:35 AM on October 7, 2012
Buzzfeed, a digital McDonald’s® wrapper of GIFs and listicles, that (under ex-Politico writer Ben Smith’s guidance) is a real news organization now.
Buzzfeed's political section is new this year, after Ben Smith was hired last December. Somehow that's been enough to turn Buzzfeed kinda sorta respectable when you see it linked elsewhere, but then you actually visit its home page and get reminded of what it has been, and still mostly is: horrifically lazy and dumb. But it's apparently a working strategy; if that CEO memo from a couple of months ago can be believed, they're growing like mad.
Who knows? Maybe the quality will improve, too. I wouldn't bet on that part, but we can always have high hopes for the Internet, can't we?
posted by mediareport at 9:35 AM on October 7, 2012
When I read the question about the "top left in the food for a week question" I read the whole damn thing thinking "lace top" was another word for a doily-warmer-thing you put on top of casseroles to keep them warm. So I'm thinking to myself "This must be someone not USAian, and I get to be the fortunate person to learn a new term for a kitchen-casserole-warmer, which I never even knew existed, but since this must be some kind of European epicurean thing of which I was always too dumb and ignorant to know about, it must be something that I want!"
8-/
posted by roboton666 at 5:23 PM on October 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
8-/
posted by roboton666 at 5:23 PM on October 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
Great. Now I'm going to spend the rest of the night worrying about what happened to that that poor soul with the butt burns.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:21 AM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:21 AM on October 8, 2012 [1 favorite]
Am I the only one who thought the weird part of the lasagna question was that there was still left over lasagna a week later?
I mean, it's lasagna.
Am I the only one who thought the weird part of the lasagna question was that it was not "can I eat it?"
may the moldy tomato of judgment have mercy on all our souls
posted by flabdablet at 1:54 AM on October 8, 2012
I mean, it's lasagna.
Am I the only one who thought the weird part of the lasagna question was that it was not "can I eat it?"
may the moldy tomato of judgment have mercy on all our souls
posted by flabdablet at 1:54 AM on October 8, 2012
Today's Wall Street Journal on Buzzfeed - The Advertorial's Best Friend:
...the sharing of sponsored content is the centerpiece of BuzzFeed's business model. Mr. Peretti is so sure about the premise that he has dispensed with traditional banner advertising entirely...
To be sure, such ads have a tiny share of online advertising. Banner advertising is on track to bring in $8.68 billion in the U.S. this year, according to eMarketer, while the kind of sponsorships that BuzzFeed sells are forecast to bring in $1.56 billion. But banner ads' market share is expected to shrink to 22.6% from 23.3% of U.S. digital-ad spending this year, while sponsorships' share is expected to grow to 4.5% from 4.2%.,,
BuzzFeed President Jon Steinberg says developing effective social advertising will become more important as Web traffic increasingly goes mobile. The right column of a website that is typically reserved for banner ads disappears on a mobile device, so putting ads in online conversations becomes crucial, he says. "Social advertising is going to eat display advertising," he says, adding that BuzzFeed's ads cost roughly the same as a premium display ad...
BuzzFeed also has been strengthening its ties to Facebook..."We are very complementary companies," Mr. Peretti says. "They own the railroad tracks, we drive the trains."
posted by mediareport at 9:04 AM on October 8, 2012
...the sharing of sponsored content is the centerpiece of BuzzFeed's business model. Mr. Peretti is so sure about the premise that he has dispensed with traditional banner advertising entirely...
To be sure, such ads have a tiny share of online advertising. Banner advertising is on track to bring in $8.68 billion in the U.S. this year, according to eMarketer, while the kind of sponsorships that BuzzFeed sells are forecast to bring in $1.56 billion. But banner ads' market share is expected to shrink to 22.6% from 23.3% of U.S. digital-ad spending this year, while sponsorships' share is expected to grow to 4.5% from 4.2%.,,
BuzzFeed President Jon Steinberg says developing effective social advertising will become more important as Web traffic increasingly goes mobile. The right column of a website that is typically reserved for banner ads disappears on a mobile device, so putting ads in online conversations becomes crucial, he says. "Social advertising is going to eat display advertising," he says, adding that BuzzFeed's ads cost roughly the same as a premium display ad...
BuzzFeed also has been strengthening its ties to Facebook..."We are very complementary companies," Mr. Peretti says. "They own the railroad tracks, we drive the trains."
posted by mediareport at 9:04 AM on October 8, 2012
Am I the only one who thought the weird part of the lasagna question was that it was not "can I eat it?"
It was the "salmon lasagna" that threw me. I love salmon. I love lasagna. Separately. Salmon lasagna does not sound at all appealing to me.
Not even with a moldy lace top to spruce it up.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:51 AM on October 8, 2012 [2 favorites]
It was the "salmon lasagna" that threw me. I love salmon. I love lasagna. Separately. Salmon lasagna does not sound at all appealing to me.
Not even with a moldy lace top to spruce it up.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:51 AM on October 8, 2012 [2 favorites]
Manthicket sounds like it ought to be a name on Cape Cod.
posted by maryr at 3:42 PM on October 9, 2012
posted by maryr at 3:42 PM on October 9, 2012
(err, town name. Goddammit, even with an edit window I'm hopeless.)
posted by maryr at 3:50 PM on October 9, 2012
posted by maryr at 3:50 PM on October 9, 2012
Lobstermitten: So the title is "most absurd questions ever asked on the internet" or similar, and the questions are all random AskMes from the last two or three days?
I know- these all seem to me like things that a MeFite is accustomed to reading/scrolling by on a daily basis without flinching, at that.
posted by herbplarfegan at 4:00 PM on October 9, 2012
I know- these all seem to me like things that a MeFite is accustomed to reading/scrolling by on a daily basis without flinching, at that.
posted by herbplarfegan at 4:00 PM on October 9, 2012
The weird thing about Buzzfeed is that, on the one hand, it's a horrible, meme-spewing listicle beast. But on the other hand, the politics section occasionally has really interesting articles (like one this summer about a political training for conservative activists) and is edited by Ben Smith, who is a Legitimate Political Journalist (albeit a sensationalistic, tabloid-y one).
posted by lunasol at 1:57 PM on October 11, 2012
posted by lunasol at 1:57 PM on October 11, 2012
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posted by maudlin at 4:48 PM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]