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Looking out onto the ash-filled street, the poetry of T.S. Eliot seems more poignant than ever.
November 29, 2012 8:22 AM   Subscribe

When the apocalypse comes, MetaFilter will be there.
posted by shakespeherian to MetaFilter-Related at 8:22 AM (147 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

The ironic thing is Metafilter will itself somehow get taken out by the apocalypse, but a cached version of this old chestnut will somehow live on and be taken by post-eschaton archeo-anthropologists as an accurate portrait of what this place was.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:28 AM on November 29, 2012 [7 favorites]


Previously (back before MeTa?)
posted by jedicus at 8:28 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Or not, evidently.
posted by jedicus at 8:29 AM on November 29, 2012


So very much a double post.
posted by cmonkey at 8:29 AM on November 29, 2012


Goddammit you fuckers with your one minute before me posting
posted by cmonkey at 8:30 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Thread's dead.
posted by Beardman at 8:30 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


There will come soft ruins.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:30 AM on November 29, 2012 [28 favorites]


cortex: " a cached version of this old chestnut will somehow live on "

We need to put that furry mods comic into a time capsule. Maybe burnished onto gold disks and shot into space.
posted by boo_radley at 8:31 AM on November 29, 2012 [10 favorites]


Covered in cheese and fed to toddlers.
posted by elizardbits at 8:32 AM on November 29, 2012


Fandom Menace is a great username.
posted by The Whelk at 8:32 AM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Huh... it reads like a Metafilter parody by somebody who's maybe only read Metafilter's Wikipedia entry, but then I noticed it's from 2003 so maybe it was more true to life back then?
posted by kmz at 8:33 AM on November 29, 2012 [7 favorites]


jessamyn: "There will come soft ruins."

Oh! Oh-oh! Have you seen the soviet version? Будет ласковый дождь? It manages to add its own layer of grim grimness onto the story.
posted by boo_radley at 8:33 AM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


I seem to recall it being criticized even back then as being not really on-the-money but still funny in a passing-resemblance sort of way. Every time it comes up I get this urge to try and rewrite it from scratch myself, but I'm not sure if "oh yeah well here's MY version of your parody" is the best direction to take it.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:35 AM on November 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


Theses days the thread would be derailed into who is really responsible for the missiles.
posted by The Whelk at 8:35 AM on November 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


Yeah, it's funny -- it's set in 2009 but even then it would have been a parody of Metafilter's past.

It's like the Happy Days of online snarkasm.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:36 AM on November 29, 2012


I wrote the best AskMe parody you guys
posted by The Whelk at 8:37 AM on November 29, 2012


That said, I still laugh at it every time. So I guess it's more like American Graffiti.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:38 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


The whole "X-Post" thing was what really ruined it for me. Was that ever a thing here?
posted by Rock Steady at 8:40 AM on November 29, 2012 [9 favorites]


Since we're on a nostalgia kick now, I'd like to say that the "staff" tags and the edit window and the lack of <img> make the place not so nice. It's like watching a local pub get bought out by a series of increasingly larger chains.
posted by cmonkey at 8:40 AM on November 29, 2012


Shouldn't that comment be reversed?
posted by The Whelk at 8:46 AM on November 29, 2012


The constant reiteration of "thread's dead" remind's me of "ze areah iz secoore."

This was written by Steve Martin, right?
posted by Namlit at 8:48 AM on November 29, 2012


"By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down; yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion."
posted by knile at 8:50 AM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


There will come soft ruins
Yeah, cat fur all over the place...
posted by Namlit at 8:50 AM on November 29, 2012 [4 favorites]


Drudge? "X-post"? These are some timely references, even for a 2009 article.
posted by DU at 8:51 AM on November 29, 2012


It was actually a 2003 article that didn't quite foresee Drudge becoming so not important by 2009. Then again, it was wrong about the apocalypse too.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:57 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


There wasn't even a "MetaFilter: The whole downtown is in flames." comment. I would have made it my last effort, even as the skin burned off my posting finger.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:57 AM on November 29, 2012 [6 favorites]


The strange thing is , thanks to live threads, we have a much better idea of what Metafilter During The Apocalyse would look like, now.
posted by The Whelk at 8:59 AM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


What if MetaFilter is the apocalypse?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:00 AM on November 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


GenjiandProust: " I would have made it my last effort, even as the skin burned off my posting finger."

"Take it... to... metata~ arrrrgh"
* is consumed by squirrel-bees *

posted by boo_radley at 9:01 AM on November 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


Threads.
posted by Pallas Athena at 9:03 AM on November 29, 2012 [13 favorites]


Because I really, really want to attend the Flavortown Meetup. But only if I can arrive straddling a nuclear missile. Yee-haw!!! Riding a missile to Flavortown! That was the bomb!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:04 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Huh... it reads like a Metafilter parody by somebody who's maybe only read Metafilter's Wikipedia entry, but then I noticed it's from 2003 so maybe it was more true to life back then?

It didn't read like real metafilter then, either.
posted by davey_darling at 9:08 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


I’m more than 30 miles from the nearest blast and it’s so quiet here. Peaceful, even. It looks like it’s snowing. Does anyone know what that white stuff is?
posted by LitterRunt at 8:40 AM on April 14


there are no words to describe

they should've sent a poet
posted by griphus at 9:08 AM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


What if MetaFilter is the apocalypse?

all shall love me and despair.
posted by The Whelk at 9:10 AM on November 29, 2012 [5 favorites]


I was really hoping this was the signal for a worldwide December 21, 2012 meet up.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 9:10 AM on November 29, 2012 [5 favorites]


It sounds like some of us have the fever for the flavor, whereas others of us are geeks.
posted by Mister_A at 9:12 AM on November 29, 2012


Well, I'm pretty sure the NYC Guy Fieri meetup will be the breaking of the seventh seal, so, rock and roll with the ecschaton meetups.
posted by griphus at 9:12 AM on November 29, 2012


> Well, I'm pretty sure the NYC Guy Fieri meetup will be the breaking of the seventh seal

Pretty sure the only seal that will break from eating that "food" will be your sphincter.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:13 AM on November 29, 2012


"This total nuclear annihilation, it vibrates?"
posted by julthumbscrew at 9:16 AM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


julthumbscrew: ""This total nuclear annihilation, it vibrates?""

"We have bomb shelters."
posted by boo_radley at 9:17 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Huh... it reads like a Metafilter parody by somebody who's maybe only read Metafilter's Wikipedia entry, but then I noticed it's from 2003 so maybe it was more true to life back then?

Nah. I remember finding it really odd that the parody used jargon that was sort of a wee bit like MetaFilter jargon, instead of your actual MetaFilter jargon.
posted by jack_mo at 9:20 AM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Pretty sure the only seal that will break from eating that "food" will be your sphincter.
Revelation 8:1-6
1 And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour.
2 And I saw the seven angels which stood before God; and to them were given seven trumpets.
3 And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer [it] with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne.
Embarrassed silence? Check
Trumpet noises? Check
Air freshener? Check
"Throne"? Check

It's the breaking of the seventh seal alright.
posted by griphus at 9:23 AM on November 29, 2012 [22 favorites]


The whole "X-Post" thing was what really ruined it for me. Was that ever a thing here?

It was, but then it was banned x-post facto.
posted by brain_drain at 9:24 AM on November 29, 2012 [4 favorites]


oh awesome my cup gets to overflow with profanity then.
posted by The Whelk at 9:24 AM on November 29, 2012

Theses days the thread would be derailed into who is really responsible for the missiles.
I blame Republicans.
posted by Flunkie at 9:28 AM on November 29, 2012


and tequila
posted by elizardbits at 9:29 AM on November 29, 2012


Mmm, tequila. Dry workplace. Damn you, elizardbits.

As for the actual parody, I thought the most realistic comment--at least for 2012 MetaFilter--was the one updating the current situation of the user's city ('It looks like the entire downtown is in flames. Thick black smoke is everywhere. The heat on the back of my neck is intense.'). That's definitely how I see MetaFilter acting in the Globapocalypse.
posted by librarylis at 9:38 AM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


oh the bad old days of "AFK TORNADO"
posted by griphus at 9:39 AM on November 29, 2012


I blame elizardbits. I told the President not to leave her alone near the button, especially not with all that tequila and flashing lights, and The Whelk egging her on, and her being the 5th Horse Oompa-Loompa of Science but did he listen...?
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:41 AM on November 29, 2012


I just watched the Day After Tomorrow again the other day for the lulz and all the people in LA recording the tornadoes was seriously the most realistic part of the entire movie.
posted by elizardbits at 9:41 AM on November 29, 2012


Yesterday, I saw a billboard that told me the Metafilter Apocalypse is coming in a few short weeks. Would've taken a picture, but I couldn't really see the point.
posted by item at 9:44 AM on November 29, 2012


LAST!
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:46 AM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


I just watched the Day After Tomorrow again

QUICK RUN

RUN FROM THE COLD.
posted by The Whelk at 9:46 AM on November 29, 2012 [5 favorites]


I always liked this post apocalypse metafilter parody.
posted by zabuni at 9:47 AM on November 29, 2012 [8 favorites]


Huh... it reads like a Metafilter parody by somebody who's maybe only read Metafilter's Wikipedia entry, but then I noticed it's from 2003 so maybe it was more true to life back then?

Yeah, that's what I thought, too. I wasn't around here in 2003 but based on my time at MeFi that article really misses the general feel of the place.
posted by asnider at 9:49 AM on November 29, 2012


zabuni: "I always liked this post apocalypse metafilter parody."

I was JUST about to link that!
posted by Chrysostom at 9:51 AM on November 29, 2012


I've seen this a couple of times before, and it never fails to trip my totally over-the-top, lived-through-Reagan-seeming-to-want-to-blow-up-the-world, watched-The-Day-After-at-an-impressionable-age, could-not-sleep-at-night-for-fear-of-the-bombs anxiety. I mean I literally feel scared and depressed now.
posted by OmieWise at 9:53 AM on November 29, 2012 [7 favorites]


I just watched the Day After Tomorrow again

Oh man that movie. I like to imagine that some exec work up in the middle of the night, face flush, with the greatest idea for a scene fully-formed in his mind: Our characters, menaced by wolves, on an oil tanker in the middle of Manhattan. But how? The rest of the movie exists to create the context for that scene.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:54 AM on November 29, 2012 [6 favorites]


And yet when they did that exact thing with Shoot 'em Up, it worked!
posted by griphus at 9:55 AM on November 29, 2012


You seem like nice folks, I'll eat you last.
posted by tommasz at 10:03 AM on November 29, 2012


I heard that Star Wars Episode VII: The Mousening was going to act as a global brown note, converting opening-weekend attendees into flesh-eating racial charicatures, hence ushering in the end times.
posted by Mister_A at 10:22 AM on November 29, 2012


I've seen this a couple of times before, and it never fails to trip my totally over-the-top, lived-through-Reagan-seeming-to-want-to-blow-up-the-world, watched-The-Day-After-at-an-impressionable-age, could-not-sleep-at-night-for-fear-of-the-bombs anxiety. I mean I literally feel scared and depressed now.

Now go watch Threads.
posted by librarylis at 11:29 AM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


librarylis: Now go watch Threads.

Good God, are you trying to kill him?
posted by Rock Steady at 11:35 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yeah, fuck that. Just the mention of that movie, which I've never seen, is enough to make me anxious. It's like the adults are talking, and saying something that will have a huge impact on my life, that I really don't want to understand, and I'm trying desperately not to hear.
posted by OmieWise at 11:38 AM on November 29, 2012 [8 favorites]


The rest of the movie exists to create the context for that scene.

I have always been bemused that more people don't seem to know that The Day After Tomorrow was the movie version of The Coming Global Superstorm. (Which is a hilarious book that I thoroughly enjoyed, actually. I was a little sad that the movie didn't go into the Sunken Advanced Civilization side of things, though.)
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 12:06 PM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Speaking of signs of the apocalypse, there are swarms of birds circling around my building. Does that mean anything?
posted by maryr at 12:07 PM on November 29, 2012


Do you work for a scarecrow manufacturer?

Because if so your products are terrible.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:15 PM on November 29, 2012 [13 favorites]


Yeah, fuck that. Just the mention of that movie, which I've never seen, is enough to make me anxious.

Quite. A friend of mine watches it and similar movies as comfort viewing: whatever else is happening, at least you're not living through nuclear armageddon.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:21 PM on November 29, 2012


Wow, Threads and swarms of birds -- why don't you just tell me Romney actually won too and that you're going to come over and poke me in the eye repeatedly just so this thread covers all my greatest fears all at once?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:21 PM on November 29, 2012


Do you work for a scarecrow manufacturer?

No, but we do produce corn. We should probably look in to that scarecrow thing.
posted by maryr at 12:27 PM on November 29, 2012


MCMikeNamara: just a thought - pubic lice in eyelashes.

Have a nice day!
posted by maryr at 12:28 PM on November 29, 2012


...Ow. Fucking karma. Now my eye hurts for no apparent reason.
posted by maryr at 12:29 PM on November 29, 2012


This is all because SpiffyRob is moving to Philly, isn't it.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:31 PM on November 29, 2012


Those birds are out to get your karma. After that there will be nothing

NOTHINGGGgg!!!
posted by Namlit at 12:56 PM on November 29, 2012


My username would become eponysterical within 30 minutes.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:00 PM on November 29, 2012 [5 favorites]


Look what birds can do.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:00 PM on November 29, 2012


All that said, the apocalypse has established itself here in West Sweden as an nigh-solid stretch of rain from August onward till today, when the temperatures finally dropped below freezing. Shivering silence to come. Metafilter is my only hope.

*snif*
posted by Namlit at 1:00 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter might survive the apocalypse.


We have escape pods.
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 1:06 PM on November 29, 2012


MCMikeNamara: just a thought - pubic lice in eyelashes.

Have a nice day!


You would have gotten me -- but a friend of mine had her bachelorette party in a skeezy strip club and um... yeah, I'm prepared for that story as it's the only eye-related horror I can deal with.

Actually, that's an urban legend.

But it's still why I always wear my glasses at skeezy strip clubs.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:06 PM on November 29, 2012


What if MetaFilter is the apocalypse?

If?

Praise the fnord and pass the distillations!
posted by loquacious at 1:23 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


In the old thread I said that I found the line "Are you WiFi?" pretty entertaining.

I no longer have any idea why I found that line entertaining.

(And I still don't know where "X-post" came from.)
posted by ook at 1:24 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Cross post." I don't really get it either, though.
posted by ocherdraco at 1:41 PM on November 29, 2012


maryr: No, but we do produce corn. We should probably look in to that scarecrow thing.

Here at ScarecrowPro.biz, we offer the finest B2B scarecrow and scarecrow-related services in the tri-state area. We would be happy to provide you a free estimate. Don't forget to like us on Facebook and follow us on @scarecrowprobiz!
posted by Rock Steady at 2:03 PM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Spiffy Rob is moving to Philly? Yay! He can join the Cabal of Sibling-like Affection.
posted by Mister_A at 2:10 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


this did not wendell.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:16 PM on November 29, 2012 [5 favorites]


It's true! The bundle is little, but I'm not in it for the money.
posted by SpiffyRob at 2:16 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Thread's dead.

Thread's dead, baby. Thread's dead.

[GETS ON MOTORCYCLE AND DRIVES AWAY]
[CREDITS]
posted by GuyZero at 3:02 PM on November 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


X-POST
I won't link directly to the comment. Just read the first five. I wonder if it was the inspiration for the opening style of the article, because funnily enough, it has the same date as the Ruins thing.
X-POST!!!11 posted by Space Coyote at 7:00 PM on March 4, 2003
posted by unliteral at 3:05 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think I'm missing a few somethings here.
posted by Decani at 3:07 PM on November 29, 2012


The real question is when the apocalypse comes, who comes out on top? The five year olds? Zombies? Or Mefites?
posted by HeyAllie at 3:20 PM on November 29, 2012


My favorite AskMe parody was the one Jessamyn did for April Fool's Day 2005 or 2006. But I can't find it. Anyone?
posted by rabbitrabbit at 3:20 PM on November 29, 2012


Do you have the year wrong?

Also there was this woot thing which was amusing.
posted by juv3nal at 3:35 PM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Hie thee to the wiki, for what ye seek lurks within.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:35 PM on November 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


Musta been 2007. Yay, thanks!
posted by rabbitrabbit at 3:37 PM on November 29, 2012


jinx!
posted by juv3nal at 3:37 PM on November 29, 2012


Perhaps I will write it, with all the time I save by not paying attention to current cultural trends.


GAZE UPON YOUR TRUE FACE METAFILTER.
posted by The Whelk at 3:44 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yep, 2007. It was a collaborative effort, I remember being delighted that I was on the team and got to be involved.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:53 PM on November 29, 2012


cortex is far and away the funniest mod.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:54 PM on November 29, 2012


Oh god that hand cut off line gets me every time.
posted by The Whelk at 3:55 PM on November 29, 2012


cortex is far and also away
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:56 PM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


The whole "X-Post" thing was what really ruined it for me. Was that ever a thing here?

It's more of a Usenet thing, which even in 2003 was kind of past its due date.
posted by scalefree at 4:15 PM on November 29, 2012


Jimmy Svendson, age 7, is a great username.
posted by ocherdraco at 4:24 PM on November 29, 2012


Jimmy Svendson, age 8, is kind of a dick, though.*
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:29 PM on November 29, 2012


*not including any of the thousands of actual Jimmy Svendsons I just found on the Google
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:33 PM on November 29, 2012


I was hoping this means that MeFi is now being transmitted in real time to a high-Earth-orbit satellite which etches the site incrementally as it is created onto a gold platter, such that when the apocalypse arrives, MeFi will live on, lifelessly orbiting the ruins of our world, incarnated in cold metal until the sun exhausts its supply of helium and expands to engulfs the inner solar system.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 5:58 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


We record it to ridulian crystal via dictatel, actually. We rent storage space in a colo no-room on Ix.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:06 PM on November 29, 2012 [5 favorites]


Well, that does sound even more future-proof.

And, before an angry astrophysicist jumps on me, I meant hydrogen, not helium.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 6:14 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


I made cookies! You know, for the apocalypse.

or just for me to eat...either one, really
posted by cooker girl at 6:20 PM on November 29, 2012


I personally have monks transcribe my posts and comments on grains of rice. But they are considering switching to beans to allow for more space.

Excuse me while I consult the monks on how to finish this beanplating joke effectively.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:41 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Approaches internet archive wayback machine wondering to himself, WTF really happened?
posted by vozworth at 7:44 PM on November 29, 2012


Oh, thank you for reminding me, I have cookie dough in the fridge. Dessert time!
posted by maryr at 7:45 PM on November 29, 2012


A part of me really does worry about humanity's legacy if the internet as a whole outlives people (either through orbital backups or wacky server escape pods).
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:46 PM on November 29, 2012


Y'know, that could explain the ancient Egyptians and cats.
posted by maryr at 7:52 PM on November 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


Remember when tommasz said he'd eat us last?

He lied.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:01 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


The real question is when the apocalypse comes, who comes out on top? The five year olds? Zombies? Or Mefites?

Five year old zombie Mefites.
posted by arcticseal at 8:37 PM on November 29, 2012


I have read this entire thread (I have no idea why) and I just want to step in to profess my utter and undying love for The Day After Tomorrow. I mean, really. Spring loaded ice wolves! Right there by the freezing library! And helicopters that crash because, um, cold reasons! There is nothing not to like in that movie. It's way better than 2012 which only has Buddhist monks on top of the ocean going for it, much lamer than ice wolves when it comes to your basic apocalypse gestalt.
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:25 PM on November 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


The most MeFi-like line in the thread:

I just went down to the White Hen and helped myself to about six cans of beans. I didn’t take them all in case anyone else is still alive in my neighborhood.
posted by VoiceOfReason at 11:05 AM on April 15

posted by mule98J at 10:06 PM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Post-apocalyptic AskMes:
Can I eat this? (Rotten meat + starvation ketosis edition.)

Lonely. Nuclear winter snowflakes inside.

Please recommend good books on the War of the Austrian Succession, including King George's War in North America and the War of Jenkins' Ear.

Sex with dead bodies: OK now, or still too soon?
posted by Monsieur Caution at 10:23 PM on November 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


Metafilter confounds me to no end. What a I reading?!?!
posted by roboton666 at 10:43 PM on November 29, 2012


Can I post a meta on this meta. Where is meta-meta talk?
posted by roboton666 at 10:44 PM on November 29, 2012


When the apocalypse comes, MetaFilter will be there.

What do you mean by When? I've been living Post-apocalypticly since about 1999.
posted by Sailormom at 3:43 AM on November 30, 2012


What if MetaFilter is the apocalypse?

>all shall love me and despair.


Cue wedding comedy about the Ring being a terrible responsibility that makes you invisible to your partner once you wear it.

I'm so sorry.

posted by ersatz at 4:19 AM on November 30, 2012


I've been living Post-apocalypticly since about 1999.

So you were apocalyptic before it was devastating? Are you some kind of nihilipster?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:51 AM on November 30, 2012 [3 favorites]


I will be excitedly expecting my invite to our first MeFi Meet up in the Second Circle of Hell.

This is the circle for the lustful <3
posted by Tarumba at 6:38 AM on November 30, 2012


I have launched
the missiles
that were in
the silos

and which
you were probably
saving
for a colder war

Forgive me
the button was big
so shiny
and so red
posted by audi alteram partem at 7:03 AM on November 30, 2012 [27 favorites]


RICK
RICK
RICK

THE APOCALYPSE IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE RICK

I know, I know. I am ashamed.
posted by cooker girl at 7:49 AM on November 30, 2012 [12 favorites]


mccarty.tim: "Excuse me while I consult the monks on how to finish this beanplating joke effectively."


posted by boo_radley at 8:27 AM on November 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


THE APOCALYPSE IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE RICK

I know, I know. I am ashamed.


This is a perfect example of "This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper."
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:49 AM on November 30, 2012


Nuclear annihilation is too mainstream.

I like to think the world as we know it will end with catastrophic ennui. Everyone just gets too bored to keep the economy, internet, and other major systems running.

We've been at civilization for thousands of years. It's starting to get kind of meh.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:53 AM on November 30, 2012


mccarty.tim: "Nuclear annihilation is too mainstream."

SINGLE-SOURCE-CARBON-NEUTRAL-LOCALPOCALYPSE
posted by boo_radley at 8:59 AM on November 30, 2012


Can I post a meta on this meta. Where is meta-meta talk?
posted by roboton666 at 1:44 AM on November 30 [+] [!]


It's here.
posted by pardonyou? at 9:48 AM on November 30, 2012


The ironic thing is Metafilter will itself somehow get taken out by the apocalypse, but a cached version of this old chestnut will somehow live on and be taken by post-eschaton archeo-anthropologists as an accurate portrait of what this place was.

Which will be revived for a playdate with a Haley Joel Osment Cthulhu bot and then tucked into bed to sleep forever after.
posted by y2karl at 9:56 AM on November 30, 2012


I like to think the world as we know it will end with catastrophic ennui. Everyone just gets too bored to keep the economy, internet, and other major systems running.

Joss Whedon already did it.
posted by maryr at 10:30 AM on November 30, 2012


A part of me really does worry about humanity's legacy if the internet as a whole outlives people

Arcturian Interplantary Archeology Conference


Themed Speaker Series and Panel Discussion
Understanding a Civilization from its Digital Remains - Key Learnings from the Rebuilt Computer Network of Soliston III:

-A Theory on the Religious Significance of Scanned Animal Sacrifices, Untley Untelying, Ph.D.

-Understanding the Mating Rituals of Soliston III's Inhabitants, Smerg Nostrum, Ph.D and Aver Grunstin, M.Sc.

-Does the Presence of a Digital Network Warrant the Assumption of Intelligence? A Meta-textual Analysis of Soliston III's Internet "Discussion Forums", Greor Niebling, Ph.D.

-The "Goatse" Image and Commonalities in Inter-species Religious Iconography, Kinden Yurt, Ph.D.
posted by never used baby shoes at 10:45 AM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


i have a radioactive fish. in my glowing pants.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 11:34 AM on November 30, 2012


I am trying to walk my dog, and a severely decomposed zombie woman keeps screaming "BRAINS!" at us. This is upsetting my puppy.

How can I politely ask her to refrain, without coming across like some privileged xenophobe? [NOT ZOMBIE-IST!]
posted by misha at 1:00 PM on November 30, 2012


Toss the puppy at her. While she is eating the puppy, bash her in the head. Then, bash the puppy, too. It's the only way to be sure.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:07 PM on November 30, 2012


And yet when they did that exact thing with Shoot 'em Up, it worked!

Please tell me that Shoot 'em Up was developed entirely so that the "shooting while having sex" scene would have a movie to house it.
posted by asnider at 1:28 PM on November 30, 2012


Did anyone else read this post in the voice of Frank Ormond?
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:27 PM on November 30, 2012


MetaFilter:
posted by plexi at 2:57 PM on November 30, 2012


I like Donnie Darko because of the way it makes me feel all goth depressed teenager inside, but then when it's over I can go back to being a relatively cheerful 40 year-old woman. I don't really miss my days of being a goth depressed teenager, but it's fun to visit.

Also it has a killer soundtrack.
posted by ErikaB at 3:49 PM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


I just came here to repeat my comment about this from 2003 which I had forgotten making until it was just today favorited (for the first time, since it predated favoritization by a good many years, and if it didn't, would have accrued ALL OF THE FAVORITES of course), but then I realized that that wouldn't be as much fun as just talking about coming in here to repeat the comment, which I have now done, so I'll end now by nodding with a twinkle, an enigmatic half-smile, and an ironic Lee-Majors-esque drawn-down right eyebrow.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:29 AM on December 1, 2012


This rings so false. Every post-apocalyptic metafilter thread would be about artisan bacon.
posted by stavrogin at 10:38 PM on December 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Who is Kevin Guilfoile? I only ask because I think he should get the banhammer just for fun.

Teach people to satirize the metafilter...
posted by Skygazer at 9:36 AM on December 2, 2012


Also it has a killer soundtrack.

The Killing Moon, is pretty killer, if I'm remembering correctly.
posted by Skygazer at 9:40 AM on December 2, 2012


What's a nuclear holocaust?

Twenty bucks, same as in town.
posted by spitefulcrow at 7:43 PM on December 2, 2012


Everyone just gets too bored to keep the economy, internet, and other major systems running

or:

And when they found our shadows
Grouped around the TV sets
They ran down every lead
They repeated every test
They checked out all the data on their lists
And then the alien anthropologists
Admitted they were still perplexed
But on eliminating every other reason
For our sad demise
They logged the only explanation left
This species has amused itself to death
posted by dg at 7:45 PM on December 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


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