Should I eat this?

November 16, 2013 7:55 PM

What if the characters of TV's Hannibal used AskMe to solve their trickiest Problems From Everyday Life? It is hilarious and challenging: Match usernames to characters from the show.
[via Projects, by tel3path and The Whelk]

Having the full cast list handy might help.

posted by carsonb to MetaFilter-Related at 7:55 PM (27 comments total)

I think they’re lungs. Does this mean she’s having an affair? Seeing someone? Something else? No idea how to take it or bring it up - been married 20 years - Maryland.

I have never seen this show. But I laughed at this. Which of those things makes me a terrible person?
posted by bilabial at 8:50 PM on November 16, 2013

oh my god

oh my god

all my dreams just came true
posted by WidgetAlley at 8:55 PM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Although wouldn't this be more appropriate as a post for the Blue? Even though it's self-referential as heck.
posted by WidgetAlley at 9:08 PM on November 16, 2013

This is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.
posted by the fox's daughter at 9:10 PM on November 16, 2013

MeTa is probably the right place for this, really.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 9:16 PM on November 16, 2013 [3 favorites]

not to jump in here but I kinda did this for Supernatural also but for a more Something Awful style.

tel3path did all the great ideas and AskMetafilter touches of wonderment.
posted by The Whelk at 9:37 PM on November 16, 2013 [4 favorites]

What this made me realize was how forgettable Hannibal is for me now that merely a few months have passed. If that weren't the case, I would have found this much more delightful and hilarious.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 9:53 PM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Perhaps you should wait and see how things turn out.

Always good advice.
posted by arcticseal at 10:00 PM on November 16, 2013

... My streams of reality crossed again. I thought you said crossing the streams was bad...
posted by strixus at 10:34 PM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ha, this reminds me, I once wrote a (pretty terrible) AskMe parody based on a Taylor Swift song I really hated. It's nowhere near as clever as The Whelk's masterpiece here (which I saw on Tumblr first!), but hey.
posted by Phire at 11:29 PM on November 16, 2013 [8 favorites]

Ok. Sherlock anyone??
posted by Namlit at 2:55 AM on November 17, 2013 [5 favorites]

My roommate keeps thumbs in the fridge and it grosses me out.

A reality check please. Is it just me or is this weird? When I opened the fridge yesterday there was a plastic bag with about half a pound of human thumb ends, which my roommate had left there to thaw. I've checked all the cookbooks I own, and Googled it but there is not a single recipe that requires this ingredient. Am I losing it, or is my roommate?

Too embarrassed to ask him, obviously. Does anyone know? Bonus points for a suitable spice rub.

Posted to Cuisine by Dr. What's On
posted by Namlit at 3:03 AM on November 17, 2013 [5 favorites]

I've checked all the cookbooks I own, and Googled it but there is not a single recipe that requires this ingredient. Am I losing it, or is my roommate?

DTMFA.
posted by zarq at 5:07 AM on November 17, 2013 [4 favorites]

Did I miss, 'I really like this super sweet guy but he seems to have mental health problems. He keeps hearing dying dogs. Also, he's a coworker? What should I do?' and the resulting "Seek therapy" and "RUN"
posted by angrycat at 5:58 AM on November 17, 2013 [3 favorites]

My favorite bit:

Okay. Awkward.

posted by Chin Stan at 6:54 AM [+][!]

posted by ocherdraco at 6:25 AM on November 17, 2013 [3 favorites]

also, this is great (as is the show)
posted by angrycat at 6:42 AM on November 17, 2013

I'm confused. Aren't you in the USA? You can't actually get lung meat here.

Favorite added!
posted by divined by radio at 8:06 AM on November 17, 2013

In unrelated news - the Welcome To Night Vale script me and shakesperian worked on waaaaay back in June was finally, formally rejected after much back and forth so I went ahead and Put It Online
posted by The Whelk at 8:22 AM on November 17, 2013 [6 favorites]

Also the original title to this was "All Of Life's Little Problems" but I think we missed the boat by not calling it "Can I Eat This?"
posted by The Whelk at 11:35 PM on November 17, 2013 [2 favorites]

This is possibly the BEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE.
posted by bibliogrrl at 2:03 PM on November 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

OK, it's been a few days so here's the ones I have figured out:

Tyromancer = Franklyn Froidveaux
Carthaginian = Hannibal
VonFurstenbergRulesOK = Dr. Bloom
Wine and Roses = Dr. Du Maurier
MANHUNTER = Jack Crawford
VADogDad1969 = Will Graham
Lovely, Dark and Deep = Abigail Hobbs
Boots Made For Walkin’ = Beverly Katz
A Swan By Any Other Name = Bella Crawford
ACakeWithAFileInIt = Will Graham's sockpuppet in jail

I seem to recall figuring several of the characters had sockpuppets too, but have lost those connections in the night.

hall-in-the-kid = Hannibal's sock?
posted by carsonb at 5:37 PM on November 18, 2013 [3 favorites]

Also I seem to recall The Whelk admitting that one of the usernames could be pegged as any one of three possible characters, maybe it was Somewhere That's Green?
posted by carsonb at 5:38 PM on November 18, 2013

Hall-in-the-kid: how quickly we forget Scott Thompson's career.
posted by The Whelk at 5:51 PM on November 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

It really should have been Hannibal's sock, but point taken sir.
posted by carsonb at 6:49 PM on November 18, 2013

JustanOrdinaryGirl is a sock for Abigail, right? Is HowDareYouSir Dr Suttcliffe?
posted by WidgetAlley at 7:33 PM on November 18, 2013

It's Dr. Chilton. And yes, JustAnOrdinaryGirl is a sock for Abigail.
posted by tel3path at 11:36 PM on November 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm going to wait until we get to Dexter.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 6:32 PM on November 19, 2013