I am noble enough to win the world, but weak enough to lose it. posted by trharlan at 7:55 PM on July 5, 2004
You can't be 12, because I am. posted by dg at 7:55 PM on July 5, 2004
I have drunk from the cup of life
from the brim to the dregs
but all I ever really wanted
was what's between your legs posted by WolfDaddy at 7:55 PM on July 5, 2004
huh? wuzzuh? posted by quonsar at 7:57 PM on July 5, 2004
My age is missing, if you find it let me know. posted by page404 at 8:07 PM on July 5, 2004
Mathowie's oldest. He was here first.
Because we're younger than he is, he gives us nice things, like pony rides and stuff.
One day, we're gonna give mathowie a fake Rolex to thank him for everything.
And then we'lll really screw things up...but by then, mathowie will be retired and living on his yacht, while laughing at how greedy we were. posted by Smart Dalek at 8:11 PM on July 5, 2004
Carpenter: Look, I was wondering...
Lumberjack: Oh, we had a marvellous time. It was Margot Fonteyn dancing 'Les Sylphides'... oh, it was so beautiful...
Carpenter: Do you know...
Lumberjack: Do you know how old she is?
Carpenter: Who?
Lumberjack: Margot Fonteyn.
Carpenter: No.
Lumberjack: She's 206! posted by jaronson at 8:37 PM on July 5, 2004
My Peter Pan Syndrome says all y'all are ooooooooooold.
And I am Sweet Sixteen. posted by subgenius at 8:49 PM on July 5, 2004
I thought this topic was handled quite tactfully by this thread, in which I discovered I was dangerously close in age to Bill Gates, Howie Mandel and Miguel Cardoso (and we learned that Miguel is the sworn enemy of Joe Jackson - the one who's not related to Michael). And, as if I needed to repeat it, my birth date is a movie title. posted by wendell at 9:05 PM on July 5, 2004
Apparently, I'm old. But I've known that ever since the Lollapalooza cancelation thread where I learned, to my great surprise, that PJ Harvey and The Flaming Lips are "ancient".
On preview: Miguel hates Joe Jackson? How very sad. posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:09 PM on July 5, 2004
I'm actually six. I just have glandular problems. posted by jonmc at 9:12 PM on July 5, 2004
FWIW: I was born the same year that "The Monkees" and "Star Trek" premiered. You just can't beat that with a stick. posted by davidmsc at 9:17 PM on July 5, 2004
I act like I am about 13, does that count? posted by lkc at 9:23 PM on July 5, 2004
If it's any help, I have it on good authority that timeistight is 53, and still capable of staying awake long enough to finish a metafilter post in one sitting. posted by fvw at 4:16 AM on July 6, 2004
Anyone else see A/S/L and think 'asshole'?
Not you, stav, I mean in general. posted by mischief at 5:08 AM on July 6, 2004
I'm as old as the hills. posted by jpburns at 5:45 AM on July 6, 2004
But not a word to the Eskimoes. posted by DrJohnEvans at 5:46 AM on July 6, 2004
I'm thrice-eleven. Thrice is a fun word to use. posted by vraxoin at 6:02 AM on July 6, 2004
"maybe more toned for askme, but here it is"
I was going to say "no way! here's perfect!" but now that I've read the responses I've completely changed my mind ;) posted by nthdegx at 6:11 AM on July 6, 2004
I can safely say that I am neither the youngest nor the oldest. posted by crunchland at 6:34 AM on July 6, 2004
don't they smell? posted by quonsar at 9:26 AM on July 6, 2004
No, that's what mischief's nose is for. posted by emelenjr at 9:34 AM on July 6, 2004
The bastards hung me in the spring of '25
But I am still alive posted by stet at 9:51 AM on July 6, 2004
I'm younger than I once was, older than I'll be. That's not unusual. posted by grateful at 10:28 AM on July 6, 2004
But I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now. posted by dagnyscott at 11:22 AM on July 6, 2004
I am timeless. My being is permeated by both the beginning and the end, and that which is not born. I am dead in an infinite number of parallel dimensional realities, just being born in others. In yet others, I am not me. And in all, all the same, there is no I.
Do not trouble me with your puny concerns of 'oldest' and 'youngest', child. posted by Blue Stone at 11:58 AM on July 6, 2004
I am Ubik. Before the universe was, I am. I made the suns. I made the worlds. I created the lives and the places they inhabit; I move them here, I put them there. They go as I say, they do as I tell them, I am the word and my name is never spoken, The name which no one knows. I am called Ubik, but that is not my name. I am. I shall always be. posted by y2karl at 12:03 PM on July 6, 2004
Only the good lord and Willard Scott know how old I really am. posted by chicobangs at 1:07 PM on July 6, 2004
Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? You think I'm qualified?
(sorry, silly question demands silly response ... as it were.) posted by Wulfgar! at 3:27 PM on July 6, 2004
i have ten fingers, five on each hand. how about you guys? anyone got more?
Well, I have four fingers plus one thumb on each hand. How about others? Any more freaks with six digits per hand? posted by dg at 3:59 PM on July 6, 2004
So, bob sarabia, you go first. How old are you? posted by Lynsey at 5:19 PM on July 6, 2004
111 is 111.
Which is 7, in decimal. posted by inpHilltr8r at 5:38 PM on July 6, 2004
ASL are my initials :\ posted by hob at 7:34 PM on July 6, 2004
111 in binary is 7 in decimal...
or is that blighnary?
As for myself, I guess I might as well come clean:
Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year, Stole many a man's soul and faith
Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name
But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game
So if you meet me, Have some courtesy, Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse, Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah posted by wendell at 7:37 PM on July 6, 2004
ooo, wendell's the oldest--he's a Rolling Stone! ; > posted by amberglow at 8:06 PM on July 6, 2004
Get off my lawn, you kids! posted by yhbc at 8:11 PM on July 6, 2004
old enough to say I've done it, young enough to do it again posted by philfromhavelock at 8:19 PM on July 6, 2004
ASL are my initials : Is that a 'yes'? ;-P posted by mischief at 8:20 PM on July 6, 2004
So just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.
Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee. posted by trharlan at 8:24 PM on July 6, 2004
I require six bits. posted by ook at 8:47 PM on July 6, 2004
But, I'm not jesus at all when I've eaten poisonous fried calamari, the night before, at a bad italian restaurant. Then, I just feel mad, sick, and old, and develop a heavy brow ridge as the hair rapidly sprouts out of my ears and big nose.
My people, they came from Siberia - through a long trail of battles and tears. Settling in Wales, they turned their energies to drink, and to heaving huge rocks about. A breed adapted best to immediate peril and afflicted by long foresight, everything that falls atwixt those poles vexes us to melancholy.
I'm as old as that, and not a day more. posted by troutfishing at 9:10 PM on July 6, 2004
I didn't read this whole thread, so feel free to ignore me.
I'm 36. Peace Frog.
Fuck you really really really hard for asking, BTW. In a way you don't like, I mean.
Hey Assholes!
(just sayin', everything you say, BS, is tainted by uncalled-for snark to me now.)
I am older (and Stronger) than Dirt.
.p.s. filmgoerjuan is snortably f(x)nny. posted by obloquy at 1:08 AM on July 7, 2004
Wulfgar! - nice reference. :) posted by ArsncHeart at 8:44 AM on July 7, 2004
I'm old enough to remember when that guy did that thing, but just vaguely. posted by malocchio at 9:56 AM on July 7, 2004
You think yourselves the adventurous ones, you young ones,
And us becalmed, torpid, our days uneventful,
Our blood stagnant, our minds' antennae blunted:
But I, who was young and now am old, can tell you
There is no adventure like the adventure of age.
No speed that you, steel-nerved, hazard your lives for
Can touch our terrible speed. Faster and faster
Night's poles flash by us, day's wires dip between them;
While we, breathless, dizzy, strung, precarious,
(To your eyes tranquil, rug-wrapped) stare from the window.
No zest of pioneer in a new country,
No quiver and shock of beauty first-time-tasted
Can match our sharpened zest, our quickened perception,
Who, at each day's encounter with familiar beauty,
Ask ourselves: "Is this for the last time?"
You are lusty in love, but you never held woman dearer
Than we hold life, our slim one, our slender darling,
Our sweet, fleet, fickle and false tormentor,
Who stands always on tiptoe, poised to leave us,
Bound to us only by the strength of our will to keep her.
And what's your joy of battle, your pride of conquest
To ours, forlorn defenders of a doomed salient,
Who stave off day by day, grotesquely accoutred
With sword-umbrella, cuirass of antiphlogistine,
The trained, bloody and invincible troops of death?
- Jan Struther (Joyce Maxtone Graham, 1901-1953) posted by dejah420 at 9:58 AM on July 7, 2004
I'm ancient. At least it seems that way. posted by SisterHavana at 10:25 AM on July 7, 2004
Aw, dejah.. now I'm all weepy. posted by crunchland at 11:27 AM on July 7, 2004
Quand vous serez bien vieille, au soir, ? la chandelle,
Assise aupres du feu, devidant et filant,
Direz, chantant mes vers, en vous esmerveillant :
Ronsard me celebroit du temps que j'estois belle.
Lors, vous n'aurez servante oyant telle nouvelle,
Desja sous le labeur ? demy sommeillant,
Qui au bruit de mon nom ne s'aille resveillant,
Benissant vostre nom de louange immortelle.
Je seray sous la terre et fantaume sans os :
Par les ombres myrteux je prendray mon repos :
Vous serez au fouyer une vieille accroupie,
Regrettant mon amour et vostre fier desdain.
Vivez, si m'en croyez, n'attendez ? demain :
Cueillez d?s aujourd'huy les roses de la vie.
Goddammit! OK, from the top, replacing the $%&@ accented characters on &#@$#&!! preview:
Quand vous serez bien vieille, au soir, à la chandelle,
Assise aupres du feu, devidant et filant,
Direz, chantant mes vers, en vous esmerveillant :
Ronsard me celebroit du temps que j'estois belle.
Lors, vous n'aurez servante oyant telle nouvelle,
Desja sous le labeur à demy sommeillant,
Qui au bruit de mon nom ne s'aille resveillant,
Benissant vostre nom de louange immortelle.
Je seray sous la terre et fantaume sans os :
Par les ombres myrteux je prendray mon repos :
Vous serez au fouyer une vieille accroupie,
Regrettant mon amour et vostre fier desdain.
Vivez, si m'en croyez, n'attendez à demain :
Cueillez dés aujourd'huy les roses de la vie.
Pierre de Ronsard (1524-1585) posted by languagehat at 11:50 AM on July 7, 2004
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.
/me shakes cane. posted by Stynxno at 4:15 PM on July 7, 2004
Nice marmot.
posted by CunningLinguist
[...]
Nice marmot.
Nice beaver.
posted by dash_slot
Most obscene exchange, evah! posted by milovoo at 4:34 PM on July 7, 2004
A couple from Cavafy:
Before Time Could Change Them
They were full of sadness at their parting.
They hadn't wanted it: circumstances made it necessary.
The need to earn a living forced one of them
to go far away -- New York or Canada.
The love they felt wasn't, of course, what it once had been;
the attraction between them had gradually diminished,
the attraction had diminished a great deal.
But to be separated, that wasn't what they wanted.
It was circumstances. Or maybe Fate
appeared as an artist and decided to part them now,
before their feeling died out completely, before time could change them,
the one seeming to remain for the other always what he was,
the good-looking young man of twenty-four.
Nero's Term
Nero was not worried when he heard
the prophecy of the Delphic Oracle.
"Let him fear the seventy three years."
He still had ample time to enjoy himself.
He is thirty. More than sufficient
is the term the god allots him
to prepare for future perils.
Now he will return to Rome slightly tired,
but delightfully tired from this journey,
full of days of enjoyment --
at the theaters, the gardens, the gymnasia...
evenings at cities of Achaia...
Ah the delight of nude bodies, above all...
Thus fared Nero. And in Spain Galba
secretly assembles and drills his army,
the old man of seventy three. posted by amery at 7:23 PM on July 7, 2004
I was 3 years old when I was born . posted by muckybob at 12:27 AM on July 8, 2004
Did I stumble into Poetry Corner?
Some people shave before bathing,
And about people who bathe before shaving they are scathing,
Whilst those who bathe before shaving,
Well, they imply that those who shave before bathing are misbehaving.
– Ogden Nash.
Did I just see a moose? posted by wendell at 12:37 PM on July 8, 2004
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posted by bob sarabia at 7:39 PM on July 5, 2004