How old are you?

July 5, 2004 7:37 PM

so who's the oldest mefite here? the youngest?
posted by bob sarabia to MetaFilter-Related at 7:37 PM (93 comments total)

maybe more toned for askme, but here it is.
posted by bob sarabia at 7:39 PM on July 5, 2004

Not for nothing. But I'm 12.
posted by y6y6y6 at 7:41 PM on July 5, 2004

I am not young enough to know everything.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 7:50 PM on July 5, 2004

Youngest how?
posted by mischief at 7:53 PM on July 5, 2004

You can't be 12, because I am.
posted by dg at 7:55 PM on July 5, 2004

I have drunk from the cup of life
from the brim to the dregs
but all I ever really wanted
was what's between your legs
posted by WolfDaddy at 7:55 PM on July 5, 2004

huh? wuzzuh?
posted by quonsar at 7:57 PM on July 5, 2004

My age is missing, if you find it let me know.
posted by page404 at 8:07 PM on July 5, 2004

Mathowie's oldest. He was here first.
Because we're younger than he is, he gives us nice things, like pony rides and stuff.
One day, we're gonna give mathowie a fake Rolex to thank him for everything.
And then we'lll really screw things up...but by then, mathowie will be retired and living on his yacht, while laughing at how greedy we were.
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:11 PM on July 5, 2004

I was Bishop of Bangor in 1701.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 8:15 PM on July 5, 2004

oldest in real life, damn you
posted by bob sarabia at 8:22 PM on July 5, 2004

either 8 or 39 or both, depending. : >
posted by amberglow at 8:26 PM on July 5, 2004

Im pretty old.
posted by Keyser Soze at 8:33 PM on July 5, 2004

I am pretty old.
posted by Keyser Soze at 8:33 PM on July 5, 2004

Carpenter: Look, I was wondering...
Lumberjack: Oh, we had a marvellous time. It was Margot Fonteyn dancing 'Les Sylphides'... oh, it was so beautiful...
Carpenter: Do you know...
Lumberjack: Do you know how old she is?
Carpenter: Who?
Lumberjack: Margot Fonteyn.
Carpenter: No.
Lumberjack: She's 206!
posted by jaronson at 8:37 PM on July 5, 2004

My Peter Pan Syndrome says all y'all are ooooooooooold.

And I am Sweet Sixteen.
posted by subgenius at 8:49 PM on July 5, 2004

I thought this topic was handled quite tactfully by this thread, in which I discovered I was dangerously close in age to Bill Gates, Howie Mandel and Miguel Cardoso (and we learned that Miguel is the sworn enemy of Joe Jackson - the one who's not related to Michael). And, as if I needed to repeat it, my birth date is a movie title.
posted by wendell at 9:05 PM on July 5, 2004

Apparently, I'm old. But I've known that ever since the Lollapalooza cancelation thread where I learned, to my great surprise, that PJ Harvey and The Flaming Lips are "ancient".

On preview: Miguel hates Joe Jackson? How very sad.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:09 PM on July 5, 2004

I'm actually six. I just have glandular problems.
posted by jonmc at 9:12 PM on July 5, 2004

FWIW: I was born the same year that "The Monkees" and "Star Trek" premiered. You just can't beat that with a stick.
posted by davidmsc at 9:17 PM on July 5, 2004

I act like I am about 13, does that count?
posted by lkc at 9:23 PM on July 5, 2004

I never was born. That sucks.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 9:24 PM on July 5, 2004

I am 5.

In chihuahua years, that is.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 9:38 PM on July 5, 2004

0 to trainwreck in .01 seconds
posted by angry modem at 9:55 PM on July 5, 2004

angry, this was a trainwreck before it ever left the station!
posted by filmgoerjuan at 10:00 PM on July 5, 2004

Not me; I mean, neither.
posted by carter at 10:27 PM on July 5, 2004

you're a bunch of motherless-sons-a-bitches!
posted by bob sarabia at 12:00 AM on July 6, 2004

Not sure who's the oldest or youngest but I'm definitely the cutest.
posted by dobbs at 12:01 AM on July 6, 2004

THANK YOU FOR THIS THREAD BOB.
posted by The God Complex at 12:09 AM on July 6, 2004

PS - I LIKE HOT DOGS.
posted by The God Complex at 12:11 AM on July 6, 2004

need go poopoo
posted by biffa at 1:31 AM on July 6, 2004

A/S/L LOL what the hell?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:28 AM on July 6, 2004

Nice marmot.
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:42 AM on July 6, 2004

If it's any help, I have it on good authority that timeistight is 53, and still capable of staying awake long enough to finish a metafilter post in one sitting.
posted by fvw at 4:16 AM on July 6, 2004

Anyone else see A/S/L and think 'asshole'?
Not you, stav, I mean in general.
posted by mischief at 5:08 AM on July 6, 2004

I'm younger than yesterday.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 5:29 AM on July 6, 2004

I'm mcsweetie!

also, according to askmefi post, meatpuff is in 11th grade so I reckon he/she's the youngest.
posted by mcsweetie at 5:31 AM on July 6, 2004

Nice marmot.
Nice beaver.
posted by dash_slot- at 5:36 AM on July 6, 2004

Apparently most of us are old enough to dislike being asked how old we are.
posted by JanetLand at 5:37 AM on July 6, 2004

Not you, stav, I mean in general.

*whew*

Dodged that one!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:38 AM on July 6, 2004

I'm as old as the hills.
posted by jpburns at 5:45 AM on July 6, 2004

But not a word to the Eskimoes.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 5:46 AM on July 6, 2004

I'm thrice-eleven. Thrice is a fun word to use.
posted by vraxoin at 6:02 AM on July 6, 2004

"maybe more toned for askme, but here it is"

I was going to say "no way! here's perfect!" but now that I've read the responses I've completely changed my mind ;)
posted by nthdegx at 6:11 AM on July 6, 2004

I can safely say that I am neither the youngest nor the oldest.
posted by crunchland at 6:34 AM on July 6, 2004

Fortunately, not old enough to know better.

Pass the depends.
posted by SteveInMaine at 6:35 AM on July 6, 2004

Four score years and ten, me.
posted by johnnyboy at 6:38 AM on July 6, 2004

i have ten fingers, five on each hand. how about you guys? anyone got more?
posted by quonsar at 7:12 AM on July 6, 2004

I have two amputated fingers on my left hand due to a run-in with a lawnmower when I was 3.
posted by mischief at 7:47 AM on July 6, 2004

mischief, those amputated fingers ought to be pretty ripe by now.
posted by DBAPaul at 8:05 AM on July 6, 2004

I see A/S/L and think "American Sign Language".
posted by Karmakaze at 8:08 AM on July 6, 2004

One is my index finger. It looks neat when I place it up to my nostril.
posted by mischief at 9:06 AM on July 6, 2004

111 is 111.
posted by stonerose at 9:24 AM on July 6, 2004

I have two amputated fingers on my left hand

don't they smell?
posted by quonsar at 9:26 AM on July 6, 2004

No, that's what mischief's nose is for.
posted by emelenjr at 9:34 AM on July 6, 2004

The bastards hung me in the spring of '25
But I am still alive
posted by stet at 9:51 AM on July 6, 2004

I'm younger than I once was, older than I'll be. That's not unusual.
posted by grateful at 10:28 AM on July 6, 2004

But I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.
posted by dagnyscott at 11:22 AM on July 6, 2004

I am timeless. My being is permeated by both the beginning and the end, and that which is not born. I am dead in an infinite number of parallel dimensional realities, just being born in others. In yet others, I am not me. And in all, all the same, there is no I.

Do not trouble me with your puny concerns of 'oldest' and 'youngest', child.
posted by Blue Stone at 11:58 AM on July 6, 2004

I am Ubik. Before the universe was, I am. I made the suns. I made the worlds. I created the lives and the places they inhabit; I move them here, I put them there. They go as I say, they do as I tell them, I am the word and my name is never spoken, The name which no one knows. I am called Ubik, but that is not my name. I am. I shall always be.
posted by y2karl at 12:03 PM on July 6, 2004

Only the good lord and Willard Scott know how old I really am.
posted by chicobangs at 1:07 PM on July 6, 2004

These numbers don't add up.
posted by attackthetaxi at 1:22 PM on July 6, 2004

I could qualify as the oldest. After all:

Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? You think I'm qualified?


(sorry, silly question demands silly response ... as it were.)
posted by Wulfgar! at 3:27 PM on July 6, 2004

i have ten fingers, five on each hand. how about you guys? anyone got more?
Well, I have four fingers plus one thumb on each hand. How about others? Any more freaks with six digits per hand?
posted by dg at 3:59 PM on July 6, 2004

So, bob sarabia, you go first. How old are you?
posted by Lynsey at 5:19 PM on July 6, 2004

111 is 111.

Which is 7, in decimal.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 5:38 PM on July 6, 2004

No, in decimal it's 111.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:25 PM on July 6, 2004

Anyone else see A/S/L and think 'asshole'?

ASL are my initials :\
posted by hob at 7:34 PM on July 6, 2004

111 in binary is 7 in decimal...
or is that blighnary?

As for myself, I guess I might as well come clean:

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year, Stole many a man's soul and faith
Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name
But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game
So if you meet me, Have some courtesy, Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse, Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
posted by wendell at 7:37 PM on July 6, 2004

ooo, wendell's the oldest--he's a Rolling Stone! ; >
posted by amberglow at 8:06 PM on July 6, 2004

Get off my lawn, you kids!
posted by yhbc at 8:11 PM on July 6, 2004

old enough to say I've done it, young enough to do it again
posted by philfromhavelock at 8:19 PM on July 6, 2004

ASL are my initials : Is that a 'yes'? ;-P
posted by mischief at 8:20 PM on July 6, 2004

I'm Jesus, who is eternal.


posted by troutfishing at 8:24 PM on July 6, 2004

I require six bits.
posted by ook at 8:47 PM on July 6, 2004

But, I'm not jesus at all when I've eaten poisonous fried calamari, the night before, at a bad italian restaurant. Then, I just feel mad, sick, and old, and develop a heavy brow ridge as the hair rapidly sprouts out of my ears and big nose.

My people, they came from Siberia - through a long trail of battles and tears. Settling in Wales, they turned their energies to drink, and to heaving huge rocks about. A breed adapted best to immediate peril and afflicted by long foresight, everything that falls atwixt those poles vexes us to melancholy.

I'm as old as that, and not a day more.
posted by troutfishing at 9:10 PM on July 6, 2004

Jesus is hot!
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:12 PM on July 6, 2004

i'd join that church!

sorry, couldn't help it :-D
posted by t r a c y at 9:58 PM on July 6, 2004

I'd nail it...

To a cross, that is.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 11:41 PM on July 6, 2004

I didn't read this whole thread, so feel free to ignore me.

I'm 36. Peace Frog.

Fuck you really really really hard for asking, BTW. In a way you don't like, I mean.

Hey Assholes!

(just sayin', everything you say, BS, is tainted by uncalled-for snark to me now.)
I am older (and Stronger) than Dirt.

.p.s. filmgoerjuan is snortably f(x)nny.
posted by obloquy at 1:08 AM on July 7, 2004

Wulfgar! - nice reference. :)
posted by ArsncHeart at 8:44 AM on July 7, 2004

I'm old enough to remember when that guy did that thing, but just vaguely.
posted by malocchio at 9:56 AM on July 7, 2004

You think yourselves the adventurous ones, you young ones,
And us becalmed, torpid, our days uneventful,
Our blood stagnant, our minds' antennae blunted:
But I, who was young and now am old, can tell you
There is no adventure like the adventure of age.

No speed that you, steel-nerved, hazard your lives for
Can touch our terrible speed. Faster and faster
Night's poles flash by us, day's wires dip between them;
While we, breathless, dizzy, strung, precarious,
(To your eyes tranquil, rug-wrapped) stare from the window.

No zest of pioneer in a new country,
No quiver and shock of beauty first-time-tasted
Can match our sharpened zest, our quickened perception,
Who, at each day's encounter with familiar beauty,
Ask ourselves: "Is this for the last time?"

You are lusty in love, but you never held woman dearer
Than we hold life, our slim one, our slender darling,
Our sweet, fleet, fickle and false tormentor,
Who stands always on tiptoe, poised to leave us,
Bound to us only by the strength of our will to keep her.

And what's your joy of battle, your pride of conquest
To ours, forlorn defenders of a doomed salient,
Who stave off day by day, grotesquely accoutred
With sword-umbrella, cuirass of antiphlogistine,
The trained, bloody and invincible troops of death?


- Jan Struther (Joyce Maxtone Graham, 1901-1953)
posted by dejah420 at 9:58 AM on July 7, 2004

I'm ancient. At least it seems that way.
posted by SisterHavana at 10:25 AM on July 7, 2004

Aw, dejah.. now I'm all weepy.
posted by crunchland at 11:27 AM on July 7, 2004

Quand vous serez bien vieille, au soir, ? la chandelle,
Assise aupres du feu, devidant et filant,
Direz, chantant mes vers, en vous esmerveillant :
Ronsard me celebroit du temps que j'estois belle.

Lors, vous n'aurez servante oyant telle nouvelle,
Desja sous le labeur ? demy sommeillant,
Qui au bruit de mon nom ne s'aille resveillant,
Benissant vostre nom de louange immortelle.

Je seray sous la terre et fantaume sans os :
Par les ombres myrteux je prendray mon repos :
Vous serez au fouyer une vieille accroupie,

Regrettant mon amour et vostre fier desdain.
Vivez, si m'en croyez, n'attendez ? demain :
Cueillez d?s aujourd'huy les roses de la vie.

????Pierre de Ronsard (1524-1585)

(translation here)
posted by languagehat at 11:44 AM on July 7, 2004

Goddammit! OK, from the top, replacing the $%&@ accented characters on &#@$#&!! preview:

Quand vous serez bien vieille, au soir, à la chandelle,
Assise aupres du feu, devidant et filant,
Direz, chantant mes vers, en vous esmerveillant :
Ronsard me celebroit du temps que j'estois belle.

Lors, vous n'aurez servante oyant telle nouvelle,
Desja sous le labeur à demy sommeillant,
Qui au bruit de mon nom ne s'aille resveillant,
Benissant vostre nom de louange immortelle.

Je seray sous la terre et fantaume sans os :
Par les ombres myrteux je prendray mon repos :
Vous serez au fouyer une vieille accroupie,

Regrettant mon amour et vostre fier desdain.
Vivez, si m'en croyez, n'attendez à demain :
Cueillez dés aujourd'huy les roses de la vie.

    Pierre de Ronsard (1524-1585)
posted by languagehat at 11:50 AM on July 7, 2004

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Yeats' take on Ronsard.

Also:

An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.

Complete poem here.
posted by jokeefe at 12:47 PM on July 7, 2004

/me shakes cane.
posted by Stynxno at 4:15 PM on July 7, 2004

Nice marmot.
posted by CunningLinguist
[...]
Nice marmot.
Nice beaver.
posted by dash_slot

Most obscene exchange, evah!
posted by milovoo at 4:34 PM on July 7, 2004

A couple from Cavafy:

Before Time Could Change Them

They were full of sadness at their parting.
They hadn't wanted it: circumstances made it necessary.
The need to earn a living forced one of them
to go far away -- New York or Canada.
The love they felt wasn't, of course, what it once had been;
the attraction between them had gradually diminished,
the attraction had diminished a great deal.
But to be separated, that wasn't what they wanted.
It was circumstances. Or maybe Fate
appeared as an artist and decided to part them now,
before their feeling died out completely, before time could change them,
the one seeming to remain for the other always what he was,
the good-looking young man of twenty-four.

Nero's Term

Nero was not worried when he heard
the prophecy of the Delphic Oracle.
"Let him fear the seventy three years."
He still had ample time to enjoy himself.
He is thirty. More than sufficient
is the term the god allots him
to prepare for future perils.

Now he will return to Rome slightly tired,
but delightfully tired from this journey,
full of days of enjoyment --
at the theaters, the gardens, the gymnasia...
evenings at cities of Achaia...
Ah the delight of nude bodies, above all...

Thus fared Nero. And in Spain Galba
secretly assembles and drills his army,
the old man of seventy three.
posted by amery at 7:23 PM on July 7, 2004

I was 3 years old when I was born .
posted by muckybob at 12:27 AM on July 8, 2004

Did I stumble into Poetry Corner?

Some people shave before bathing,
And about people who bathe before shaving they are scathing,
Whilst those who bathe before shaving,
Well, they imply that those who shave before bathing are misbehaving.
– Ogden Nash.

Did I just see a moose?
posted by wendell at 12:37 PM on July 8, 2004