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November 18, 2004 8:20 PM   Subscribe

Hi. I just signed up a few hours ago.When can we start posting in the blue?
posted by crusiera to Etiquette/Policy at 8:20 PM (52 comments total)

In a week.
posted by kenko at 8:21 PM on November 18, 2004


It's on the about page (what? you didn't read every singe word of the site?!) -- basically you have to leave a few comments and be a member for a week before you get to make a post. So next week you should be golden.

This measure was put in place to stop spammers from signing up an account (back when it was free) then go hog wild posting stupid crap. Still, earlier this year someone got in, waited a week, then still spammed the hell out of the site, and lied about it every step of the way, so I guess know that if you are a spammer, we will eventually find out.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:24 PM on November 18, 2004


Sorry

You cannot post to the front page at this time. This can be due to one of several things. You may not have been a member long enough, you may not have posted enough comments, or you may have already posted a link in the past 24 hours.

Please see the About page for more information on posting rights. If you feel this was in error, try logging out and back in. If you absolutely must post another link within 24 hrs, email me the post for approval.
posted by matteo at 8:26 PM on November 18, 2004


Ghasp!
posted by interrobang at 8:29 PM on November 18, 2004


(what? you didn't read every singe word of the site?!)

Si vous aimez touts les mots singe, je vous recommends Monkeyfilter.
posted by interrobang at 8:31 PM on November 18, 2004


Ghasp indeed. I am a 19 year old who expects every question ansered for him. It's normal, I'm sorry, i just scanned through those pages without reading them. MeFites all over are gnashing their teeth as they read this. All u need is a teen who cant read between the lines. I tried the monkeyfilter thing , I sucked at HTML and every other word was a typo. Those folks over there hust stared at me until I stopped posting. Matt you will regret opening signups after this. Trust me, I'm slow. Guide me fellow members, guide me.


ok is this the end should I stop typing.... ok yea bye
posted by crusiera at 8:42 PM on November 18, 2004


Quick Y2Karl, distract them with a awe filled post before they kill me.
posted by crusiera at 8:44 PM on November 18, 2004


'''''''''''''''''''''' cut and paste these apostrophes when required and you'll be golden ;)
posted by bonaldi at 8:52 PM on November 18, 2004


You already make more sense than thomcatspike and clavdivs combined, so you'll be just fine, little camper.

Please don't use "u" for "you", though. It is offensive to the eye.
posted by interrobang at 8:59 PM on November 18, 2004


Argh. Crusiera. A nitpick, if I may? (You kind-of sort-of asked for it, specifically. The following I strongly suggest to all newcomers.)

Please use the spellchecker. Please don't use "u" for "you". It's just two extra characters, please use them. Please use grammar. Please don't use IM speak here. For a simple example, if you were inspired by a post to follow up with a post that merely read "LOL", just say "That made me laugh" or something similar.

I'm honestly trying to be sincere and helpful, and not snarky or sarcastic or pedantic or anything. It just looks damn awful, and it's painful to read.

Trust me, it's worth the effort. Yeah, people make mistakes - and that's fine. But there's a difference between a typo and willful IM-style typing.

There are many linguistically confused - ahem - fools that will attempt to convince you that as long as the communication was conveyed, spelling, grammar and punctuation don't matter. They're grossly misguided and just plain wrong.

Sometimes, unfortunately: it's not what you say, but how you say it.

And again, no one is perfect. I'm certainly not perfect. Yeah, I'm still learning the nuances and subtleties of English. But I'll be learning those until the day I die, because there is a nearly endless multitude of them.

You might say to yourself: Bah! I don't have the skills! I'm just 19! I'm still learning! So learn. We're all learning. Doublecheck your posts. Measure twice, cut once, and only once.
posted by loquacious at 9:06 PM on November 18, 2004


Crusiera, as far as HTML goes on here, just know how to put a picture in the comments and how to link to another site. Some helpful HTML are as follows:

To post a link to another site
<a href="http://www.whereyouwanttolinkto.html">The text that will be gold</a>
The text that will be gold

To post a picture (don't post many pictures, it's annoying and bangs on the server)



<img src="http://www.yourimagehere.jpg">
posted by Arch Stanton at 9:10 PM on November 18, 2004


We might want to decide what happens when some damn fool starts using l33Tspk.

I suggest we just plain kill him, but I'm sure some whinger is going to go ahead and disagree with that plan. Getting consensus here is like herding cats.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:13 PM on November 18, 2004


LOLKTHXBYE!!!1!
posted by keswick at 9:13 PM on November 18, 2004


or you can just highlight the text, click the "link" button under the post box, and then fill in the address in the resulting pop-up prompt. whateva.

tell you what, you find the "y" and the "o" when typing "you" and i in return might just start using the shift key. sometimes. maybe. for more than just punctuation, i mean.

but use the "you". or languagehat will smack you.
posted by caution live frogs at 9:31 PM on November 18, 2004


bonaldi, would you please post more apostrophes.

I have almost used up the set you have posted.
posted by Hicksu at 9:31 PM on November 18, 2004


/me launches a LFMAOMISSLE at keswick.
posted by loquacious at 9:40 PM on November 18, 2004


When can we start posting in the blue?

It'll cost you an extra 5 bucks for the Platinum Account!


Hah! Gotcha!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:54 PM on November 18, 2004


"Hi. I just signed up a few hours ago.When can we start posting in the blue?" - 7 days. Count down the hours, the minutes even.

History will be yours.
posted by troutfishing at 9:55 PM on November 18, 2004


Jeez, you people are really something. Why don't you leave the guy alone? He's spent his five bucks to join this site--let him write whatever way he likes. There are all kinds of people in this world, you know, and not all of them want to speak in the same voice as you.

I don't see you pulling apart quonsar for writing his nonsense words or any of the hipsters here who think it cool to not capitalise and write "yr" instead of "your". Maybe because it's easier to pick on the newbie than the elite, mmm?
posted by dydecker at 9:56 PM on November 18, 2004


Also : I Would Post 4 U.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:02 PM on November 18, 2004


i would like to thank the action team builders and thier cute mascot quizzie the quistionmark for letting me into this wacky stratoblogocircus like atmoshpher
posted by svenvog at 10:03 PM on November 18, 2004


.
posted by coriolisdave at 10:15 PM on November 18, 2004


dydecker, I'm honestly not trying to pick on him. I'm trying to prod him towards using and/or developing skills he can use here - and elsewhere - for the rest of his life.

Also: One, he asked. Two, it's appropriate here, and not really appropriate to derail a thread in the blue or green about. Three, there's a difference between being ironic and being lazy or ignorant.

And yeah, "yr" instead of "your" bugs the holy crap out of me as well. But it doesn't bother me nearly as much in IM or IRC, and yeah, I use abbreviations and crap there like anyone else when saving keystrokes and time is more valuable than the presentation of something that's less immediate and time-sensitive.

On Everything2 I started and run a usergroup called Typo Death Squad that has developed a protocol for correcting the writeups and articles there in a friendly, helpful manner. The users that I've personally messaged with typo corrections have all been thankful. The reason why this usergroup exists is because of the decentralized nature of E2. If we messaged every correction to the official editors they'd be bogged down in a mountain of corrections. We only pester them to correct the typos in writeups by "fled users", meaning they haven't been active at the site in a month or more. All others get messaged directly to the user who wrote the article. This method has to be used because E2 isn't like a Wiki, as only an officially editor or the authors themselves can alter the text of a writeup.

And I'll be the first to admit my spelling, punctuation and grammar are lackluster, at best. Which is one of the reasons I started the usergroup, so my stuff would be corrected as well as others, and so I could learn by doing.
posted by loquacious at 10:18 PM on November 18, 2004


To quote the indomitable dannye from E2: "My favorite was when the image (an old codger w/ a cane and felt hat) would pop up and say, "Only a shitlicking nunfucker would put a goddamn comma there."
posted by loquacious at 10:21 PM on November 18, 2004


shitlicking nunfucker. it just rolls off the tongue, doen't it? come on, say it with me:

shitlicking nunfucker!

see? it's fun!

who will be the first to sign up as 'shitlicking nunfucker', i wonder?
posted by quonsar at 11:02 PM on November 18, 2004


I'm trying to prod him towards using and/or developing skills he can use here - and elsewhere - for the rest of his life.

Well since you're so keen on improving others, here is a skill I can teach you. When you meet someone for the first time, you don't straight away busy yourself with setting right their flaws, right? That would be plain bad manners, surely, and besides, none of your business. Well, someone has turned up on the doorstep here at Metafilter, compaining at being rejected at another site even, and instead of welcoming them in to settle down and feel comfortable, you've sniffed at them and layed down a few house rules. That's not very polite, is it? And besides, it's not even your house!

crusiera, welcome to Metafilter!
posted by dydecker at 11:04 PM on November 18, 2004


quonsar, try poondoggy, it feels nice too.

loquacious, thanks, you actually did make an inoffensive plea against that horrid IM curse against the language. It has its place, just like CB jargon has its place.

You also stressed a couple of times that you weren't attempting to be snarky at all. dydecker, its not about correcting people, its about asking them to respect the format of the community. Especially when it was apparent that they didn't even really bother to read the guidelines that were readily available.
posted by fenriq at 11:18 PM on November 18, 2004


"Only a shitlicking nunfucker would put such poondoggy cockbucketry there."
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:31 PM on November 18, 2004


ne1 got cheatz 4 "ambra pc kybd"? tried 2 uze full wordz n captlize, it wuz 2 hard lol

See, that's how you get snarky round here. None of this "polite suggestion" claptrap!

P.S. Welcome aboard, cruseria, Arch Stanton, svenvog and coriolisdave. May the Web Gods smile upon your packets.
posted by arto at 11:32 PM on November 18, 2004


RIN DIK
posted by Dreamghost at 11:36 PM on November 18, 2004


REDRUM
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:54 PM on November 18, 2004


crusiera, you should be able to start making FPP's in about a week. If you look on the about page, it says so in the fourth paragraph. I think user #1 has also mentioned something somewhere about new users having to leave a few comments first, too.
posted by mexican at 12:39 AM on November 19, 2004


By the way, it looks like the new folks are allowed to post to AskMe right away, though.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:45 AM on November 19, 2004


"Only a shitlicking nunfucker would put such poondoggy cockbucketry there."

Thank you. And loquacious' advice is sound. Better to say it here and now if it prevents txt-spk appearing on a MetaFilter front page post. Imagine the response. The words "doing him a favour" spring to mind.
posted by nthdegx at 2:18 AM on November 19, 2004


dydecker: Others have rebutted you for me on the most important parts.

However, it is my house. And your house. And everyone else's house. It's also now the newcomer's house, and I welcome them. Let's take care of it and keep it tidy, no? This isn't Fark, and it'll hopefully never be Fark. And this is how we keep it from being Fark. By not being apathetic, and caring. An ounce of prevention?

I was aiming for gentleness in my first post to crusiera, but on rereading I feel that a bit of snarkiness still slipped through. Crusiera, my apologies if any offense was taken. Welcome to MeFi. My email and AIM info are in my profile if you ever want to ask me anything.
posted by loquacious at 3:32 AM on November 19, 2004


what dydecker said, you condescending nunlickything.
posted by andrew cooke at 6:02 AM on November 19, 2004


actually, "yr" has quite a long history. i believe it was a quite common abbreviation when siging off on a letter circa 1750-ish or so. much like it is no longer common to abbreviate "George" as "Geo.", it's simply fallen out of favor, until resuscitated by the IMers, not out of any sense of historical preservation, mind you, just a coincidence in abbreviation of an oft-used word.

"u" or "ur" on the other hand make me suspect the writer is either a 12-year old or is suffering from some sort of typographic form of Broca's aphasia.

crusiera, the main thing here is that mathowie wants us to think for a second prior to posting. the abbreviations used for IM are meant to speed up responses in what is already a very quick conversation. take a few seconds to think about the post before adding to the fray; that's why there's a "preview" button you have to hit prior to hitting "post". this "wait a sec and think" culture has developed here, making it unlike the IM world. not that anyone's trying to make you feel inferior, it's just that quite a few folks will take you more seriously if your reply isn't quite as fragmented. for the most part, we know nothing about you - you could be 13, you could be 68. it's sad but true; we form our opinions of you partly by what you say and partly by how you say it. much like some people pre-judge anyone using an AOL address. (i admit it - seeing an AOL email always strikes me as a black mark against the person's coolness... guess i'm an email snob. boo. hiss.) i think most of the "don't type like that" stuff is people trying to be helpful, attempting to stop you from being pre-judged.

we all have faults. me, i don't capitalize. some people don't like it. i see it more in terms of "if all-caps is shouting, all lower-case is a friendly conversation" thing. (plus i type with two fingers and it's faster to skip the shift key. i really must learn to type eventually... but two fingers has gotten me through 5 years of grad school so far...)
posted by caution live frogs at 6:06 AM on November 19, 2004


He's spent his five bucks to join this site

Let's get this straight right off the bat. The five bucks means nothing. It does not entitle anyone to shit. Forget the five bucks. For all intents and purposes, there is no five bucks.
posted by jpoulos at 6:18 AM on November 19, 2004


Thanks all. I used to do 6 billion IMs a day so the lingo is still embedded in the ol noggin. Loq, no offence taken, dydecker, thanks for sticking up for me but I will take their advice and write like an adult. I have to get used to this system. I respect this place a lot. I am not here to offend or troll. I look forward to reading all your FFPs and responding to AskMe. Thanks
posted by crusiera at 6:29 AM on November 19, 2004


So the five bucks I spent was just imaginary? Neato. *in awe and shock*
posted by crusiera at 6:31 AM on November 19, 2004


We might want to decide what happens when some damn fool starts using l33Tspk.

I suggest we just plain kill him, but I'm sure some whinger is going to go ahead and disagree with that plan.


Couldn't we just do something to his/her voicebox?
posted by Johnny Assay at 6:36 AM on November 19, 2004


Well said, crusiera, and I join the welcoming committee. A willingness to learn and adapt is better than rubies and pearls.

but use the "you". or languagehat will smack you

I have to admit that even this famously permissive descriptivist loathes u-speak (to be distinguished from U-speak).
posted by languagehat at 7:14 AM on November 19, 2004


"Only a shitlicking nunfucker would put such poondoggy cockbucketry there."

Needs a "Jesus fuckchutney".
posted by kenko at 7:40 AM on November 19, 2004


Good form, crusiera!
posted by nthdegx at 7:52 AM on November 19, 2004


"Only a Jesus fuckchutney eating, shitlicking nunfucker would put such fuckassed poondoggy cockbucketry there."

Can someone work in a "fuckmuncher"? How about "cuntcrapping pornshitter"? (link is text only. hit refresh for more goodness.)
posted by loquacious at 8:28 AM on November 19, 2004


shitlicking nunfucker? I want to see who signs up as Queef Breath.
posted by trondant at 8:59 AM on November 19, 2004


[ A hymn, ode, and prayer to New Users ]


Oh, new users, bring us wonderful things.

Bring us new life and new light.

Shower us with all good things : with Time Cubes, with Kaycees, with quirk.

Bring us with tools for amplified insight and powerful multitasking.

Crack open our ossification with your Zen hammerstrokes of novelty, so that we might see anew.

Clean out our hoary weltschmerz-encrusted ears with the q-tips of your passion for truth so that we might hear the clarion call of the infinite.

Oh new users, bring us all wonderful things, and we shall call you clever and then, later smart.

Bring the levity of humor that is somehow apolitical but not toothless, snarky but not mean, raw but not messy.

Bring us this and we will call you intelligent and sometimes even brilliant - and we will stroke the shiny red apple of your pride with our seasoned blandishments and accord you as one of us and - although we are never quite sure who we are - we'll fake it and crown you as the new enfante terribles and prodigious auteurs of blogdom, the comets that, as they streak across our humdrum and illuminate our valleys of the day to day , we can lasso and so be pulled out towards wider, less ideologically imprisoned points of view.

Oh, new users : bare it, unzip, whip it out, let it fly, strut your naked words across this biglittle stage which is nowhere and yet everywhere. Flex your prose, wield your acumen, parry all snark, and skewer our pointless bickering with a minimum of words well chosen and short.

Oh new users, we squat on your energy and zeal for commentary as vampires and succubi - we infect you with the art of pointless discourse, here at the alpha and the omega of all this is good, new, and titillatingly raunchy yet work-safe. We ride your enthusiasm like jockeys around the track of our daily blogotedium 'till your legs or minds break, 'till your fingers wear down to nubs.

Oh, new users, bring us wonderful things.

Bring us new life and new light.

Shower us with all good things : Time Cubes, with Kaycees, with quirk.
posted by troutfishing at 9:05 AM on November 19, 2004


Add a light glaze of cum and bake at 350° for two hours. Serves 20,000.
posted by trondant at 9:28 AM on November 19, 2004


I know it's a bit belated, but I've been wanting to post one of these for so damn long, so here goes....

Metafilter: Only a shitlicking nunfucker would put a goddamn comma there.
posted by MrZero at 11:13 AM on November 19, 2004


AUUUUGH! DOLPHIN FURSUIT! *runs*
posted by loquacious at 12:16 PM on November 19, 2004


The perfect MeFi title for loquacious from the Teddisms Generator on E2:

Resident Ass-Slapping CommaFucker

Sweet.

Communication is the reason we are here in the first place, so any help in achieving a higher degree of understanding is always welcome, unless you don't want to communicate.

And if that is the case, why come here at all?
posted by Enron Hubbard at 6:59 AM on November 21, 2004


Let's get this straight right off the bat. The five bucks means nothing. It does not entitle anyone to shit. Forget the five bucks. For all intents and purposes, there is no five bucks.

i thot we got stickers.
posted by RockyChrysler at 8:02 PM on November 21, 2004


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