February 28, 2005

4:03 PM

You all remember how u.n. owen was set to audition for Jeopardy a couple months back? Recall how a string of bad luck kept her from doing so?

Seems things are still bad for her. When I saw this post in AskMeFi I contacted her just to check in and see how things were going. She's in a bit of a bind and I hope it doesn't embarrass her, but I thought there might be a few MeFites with a little extra pocket cash. Anyone feeling altruistic? [Details inside]
posted by FlamingBore to MetaFilter-related at 4:03 PM (151 comments total)

Thanks.

Just in the spirit of full disclosure: I wasn't having problems, for instance, buying food or havng electricity. I wasn't eating out, and I was turning the lights off a lot, but I was going very paycheck to paycheck.

Today, because I'd foolishly posted something from work to a blog, I ended up on 3 days unpaid leave. Normally I'd welcome the vacation but it strikes me at a particularly awful time and I'm pretty well screwed. It's my fault for posting it (I won't show what I posted -- suffice it to say all identifying info had been removed, but the IT guys evidently were remote viewing, and it wasn't that offensive) in the first place, but this comes at a particularly bad point for me.

Thanks for looking. You guys rock. It sucks to be at a point in life where a couple hundred bucks one way or another can mean the difference between normal life and losing electricity/apartment. Yow. :-/
posted by u.n. owen at 4:07 PM on February 28, 2005

Will you pay the money back?
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 4:11 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

I'm not sure when I'd be able to...most likely it would be at least a couple of months, probably 3-4. I couldn't give a specific date because enough unexpected stuff is in the air right now that I'm ready to explode. Could I? Yes. In a timely fashion? probably not, unfortunately, which sucks.
posted by u.n. owen at 4:18 PM on February 28, 2005

(Oh, and further disclosure: the "selling my books" post happened BEFORE this suspension stuff. Things were already tight. This made it untenable.)
posted by u.n. owen at 4:25 PM on February 28, 2005

Eh, I'm selling my shit to pay rent and afford to eat, so my sympathy isn't exactly pouring out for someone who got in trouble for posting to a weblog at work.
posted by cmonkey at 4:29 PM on February 28, 2005

*thread explodes*
posted by fishfucker at 4:30 PM on February 28, 2005

More than understandable, cmonkey. We'll sell our stuff together, let's have a big garage sale, you and I.
posted by u.n. owen at 4:31 PM on February 28, 2005

I'm in for a little (and you don't have to pay it back)...but don't ever mess up at work like that--learn from this, hon.
posted by amberglow at 4:31 PM on February 28, 2005

I've already learned.

I will be a good girl in the future. I fully admit to being a stupid 20 year old and not used to this kind of job where people actually give a damn.
posted by u.n. owen at 4:33 PM on February 28, 2005

(and thank you guys, more than I can possibly say. Even two people is a lot more than I ever expected, I have to say I'm awed that anyone would even care, I've just been busy beating myself up--which I am VERY good at.)
posted by u.n. owen at 4:35 PM on February 28, 2005

we were all 20 once...one day you'll look back on this and say "how could i be so dumb" (altho sometimes us who are twice yr age are even more dumb) : >
posted by amberglow at 4:47 PM on February 28, 2005

Time to pony up, Irontom.
posted by greasy_skillet at 4:54 PM on February 28, 2005

u.n. owen- Although I can't afford to give you any money I can give you a bit of advice- if you're really strapped for cash and have some free time see if you can't get another job working as a server in a restaurant. Most places have a 3-5 day training period (tending to be shorter), after which you'll be walking home with cash in your pocket. Lots of it. It's completely reasonable that you could be making an extra $150-200 per week on the side in cash, not to mention the extra wage (which gets reduced because they tax your tips, but if your state has a decent minimum wage for servers like mine then it still helps). If you're a 20 year old female, are willing to work hard, and can talk to strangers then you've got half the job down already.
posted by baphomet at 4:56 PM on February 28, 2005

is the bf working? can he cover rent and stuff and food for a while?
posted by amberglow at 5:05 PM on February 28, 2005

The problem is that I lack a car and I'm not in a neighborhood with nearby restaurants. The public transit here is nearly-worthless or I'd already have a second job...I chose my apartment for its proximity to my work, but the only other workplace nearby is a beer distributing company.
posted by u.n. owen at 5:07 PM on February 28, 2005

The bf just moved here and is now job-searching. He has a car, but it has a fairly limited range-of-motion because of some issues that we'll fix...well, when we have some money, hahahahaha. Sometimes it's just almost funny.
posted by u.n. owen at 5:08 PM on February 28, 2005

i WOULD LIKE A BITE OF THE ASKMEFI SALAD!

so delicious and walnut-y!
posted by crunchburger at 5:19 PM on February 28, 2005

Oh dear.
posted by naxosaxur at 5:56 PM on February 28, 2005

Thank you all very, very much. I now have enough that the electric will get paid, and the landlord's giving me a small extension on the rent. Thanks for helping me get through everything, I didn't expect this. *hugs all around*
posted by u.n. owen at 6:25 PM on February 28, 2005

Some day, u.n. owen, and that day may never come, you will be called upon by MetaFilter to perform a service...
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:37 PM on February 28, 2005

will it be a sexual service? 'cause I'd totally be up for that.
posted by u.n. owen at 6:39 PM on February 28, 2005

will it be a sexual service? 'cause I'd totally be up for that.

Dear AskMetafilter: how do I become a camwhore?
posted by Ryvar at 6:41 PM on February 28, 2005

That'd be sweet, but I'm not nearly cute enough for camwhoredom. If I could make money posing for a webcam, you bet your ass I'd be up for it and I'd pander with the best of 'em. But as it is, I have to use my infinite wit and grace instead.

Man, fuck wit and grace, they don't do shit.
posted by u.n. owen at 6:44 PM on February 28, 2005

greasy_skillet -

once I get home and dig out my paypal info, I'll be sending some cash along.

And owen doesnt need to pay me back. Unlike Mean Mr. Bucket upthread, I can help somebody out without demanding restitution. Also, I'd like to point out, for his enlightenment, that owen didnt start this, Flamingbore did that all on his own.

So, Miguel style, I cordially invite he and cmonkey both to "... gently and slowly fuck the fuck off."
posted by Irontom at 6:50 PM on February 28, 2005

So, Miguel style, I cordially invite he and cmonkey both to "... gently and slowly fuck the fuck off."

Aww, I love you, too, sweetcheeks.
posted by cmonkey at 6:53 PM on February 28, 2005

any money not sent to u.n. owen should be sent to quonsar. cans of rustoleum should be sent to Irontom.
posted by quonsar at 7:11 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

and anyone with an extra EU passport lying around should send it to me : >
posted by amberglow at 7:16 PM on February 28, 2005

Anybody remember Aaron?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:17 PM on February 28, 2005

Amberglow: Do what I did, find a Euro-hubby! Mine is cute, sweet, and totally loyal. Minds pretty good, too
posted by Goofyy at 7:25 PM on February 28, 2005

if you don't have quonsar's address, you can donate through my userpage. thanks.
posted by exlotuseater at 7:25 PM on February 28, 2005

I'm completely baffled by this? Where is the information on why I should have more sympathy for u.n. owen than any other person going through a tough financial period? No offense u.n. owen, I just don't understand why your circumstances are so unique that someone else would make a plea for you here.

Anyone want to chip in to help pay for my fatass student loan? 'Cuz that fucker will be holding me back by the throat for a good long time. All it would take is $2 from each Mefi member and I'm good to go.
posted by Witty at 7:37 PM on February 28, 2005

aaron = fat bastard
quit metafilter because he could not deal
posted by crunchburger at 7:41 PM on February 28, 2005

Small world, Witty! I paid off my student loans this week, so I'm going to donate a few bucks to u.n. owen to celebrate!

That is, after I open another bottle of fine, fine wine
posted by subgenius at 7:42 PM on February 28, 2005

Perhaps u.n.owen will remember the kindness shown by some of the members here and "pay it forward" when she sells her books.

cmonkey, I hope your luck changes too.
posted by Tarrama at 7:47 PM on February 28, 2005

I hope crunchburger's luck changes as well, and he chokes on his own bile.
posted by yhbc at 7:49 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

I think this sets a dangerous precedent. What's next, grovel.metafilter.com?

C'mon, plenty of people are low on money, how are we supposed to decide who to support?
posted by beth at 7:54 PM on February 28, 2005

C'mon, plenty of people are low on money, how are we supposed to decide who to support?

From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs.

I mean, c'mon, we're all liberals here, right?
posted by Ryvar at 7:56 PM on February 28, 2005

Witty - the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

u.n. owen - the squeaky wheel gets replaced.
posted by brevator at 8:02 PM on February 28, 2005

C'mon, plenty of people are low on money, how are we supposed to decide who to support?

Favoring those who know when to use the objective case might be a start.
posted by felix betachat at 8:04 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs.

I for one support the conversion of Metafilter to an Anarcho-syndicalist commune. Clearly we have the capacity.

I should point out, however, that I need a new cylinder head for my car.
posted by Jimbob at 8:04 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

aaron = fat bastard
quit metafilter because he could not deal

Charming. You kiss your mother with that mouth? I was remembering this, and this, in the context of the current thread.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:05 PM on February 28, 2005

Favoring those who know when to use the objective case might be a start.

my faith in metafilter is restored.
posted by Stynxno at 8:07 PM on February 28, 2005

how much you guys think i could get for one of my kidneys?
posted by exlotuseater at 8:10 PM on February 28, 2005

the objective case

I was choosing to be colloquial rather than highfalutin'. I thought it fitting.

And, I'm not asking for money. So no one should give me any, anyway.
posted by beth at 8:10 PM on February 28, 2005

u.n. owen, while I'm reluctant to piss in anyone's shoes, and I think it's super that MeFi is willing to cough up money to help out someone in distress, can I ask you how, if you're twenty years old in 2001, you were a now-adultified bad girl who did not regret her vote in the 2000 presidential elections? Are you not the same person as the original user of the account? There are any number of perfectly reasonable explanations, but before people give money to someone out of sympathy for their young-and-recklessness, I thought I would inquire.
posted by snarkout at 8:11 PM on February 28, 2005 [2 favorites]

Charming. You kiss your mother with that mouth? I was remembering this, and this, in the context of the current thread.

The difference between crunchburger and crunchland has never been more clear.
posted by dhartung at 8:11 PM on February 28, 2005

Twenty years old in 2005. Press "Post", notice typos.
posted by snarkout at 8:11 PM on February 28, 2005

Charming. You kiss your mother with that mouth? I was remembering this, and this, in the context of the current thread.

Yes. I hope things are a lot better for him now.
posted by redfoxtail at 8:14 PM on February 28, 2005

I'm still not convinced this whole thing isn't an extremely elaborate attempt to further flame Kottke.
posted by Ryvar at 8:21 PM on February 28, 2005

been there.

Still there, otherwise I'd help out.
posted by delmoi at 8:30 PM on February 28, 2005

I remember that thread. Now this was a gem:

Shove that in your lazy the-world-owes-me-a-living-and-256mb-of-RAM ass and smoke it, you no-hoper sponging whinging bludging lard-arsed pissweak excuse for a human being.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 9:04 PM PST on March 24 [!]

The more things change...
posted by Quartermass at 8:32 PM on February 28, 2005

snarkout, I purchased my account by trading for a gmail account on day 4 of gmail availability. And I did vote in the 2000 election, at age 16, it was fraudulent but they accepted my college ID as a form of valid ID (stupid Iowans). And yes, I used to be a "bad girl" if prostitution qualifies, but I did that as jailbait, too. Would you like the rest of my life story while we're in here? It's not always nice.
posted by u.n. owen at 8:34 PM on February 28, 2005

Um, it sounds like you have some skills there that you could tap to make some serious cash.
posted by beth at 8:36 PM on February 28, 2005 [2 favorites]

And snarkout, sorry for my...um, snarky tone. But there are some times in my life I'd really rather NOT think about when thinking about how much I need money, and the time I did the sex-for-money thing is one of 'em. I'd rather never go down that particular path, EVER again, as it was far more trouble than it was worth.

I'm sure some people are able to do sex work without being traumatized by it, but not my 17 year old runaway just-moved-to-California ass a few years ago.

Oh, and I turn 21 on March 9, whee. It's been an interesting life so far. ;-)
posted by u.n. owen at 8:37 PM on February 28, 2005

I find you to be a wonderful disaster of a person. If you'd like to email me your life story, I'd give it an interested read.
posted by angry modem at 8:38 PM on February 28, 2005 [5 favorites]

Um, it sounds like you have some skills there that you could tap to make some serious cash.
posted by beth at 8:36 PM PST on February 28 [!]

Beth: Just posting again so you relize how awful you sound.
posted by Quartermass at 8:39 PM on February 28, 2005

*whappa whappa whappa*
posted by quonsar at 8:40 PM on February 28, 2005

[snarkout]
can I ask you how, if you're twenty years old in 2001, you were a now-adultified bad girl who did not regret her vote in the 2000 presidential elections? Are you not the same person as the original user of the account?

[u.n. owen]
snarkout, I purchased my account by trading for a gmail account on day 4 of gmail availability. And I did vote in the 2000 election, at age 16

So the answer is "both"?
posted by daveadams at 8:42 PM on February 28, 2005

I have no idea whether u.n. owen legitimately needs the money (based on the aforementioned inconsistencies in her stories, including the supposition that she blogs for a living), but giving money to someone who you know nothing about, apart from what is said here, is a bad, bad idea. It also sets a terrible precedent for MeFi.

If your problems are legitimate, u.n. owen, then I am truly sorry for your plight. However, who's to say that tomorrow won't bring us someone else with hat in hand? And who will be able to judge whether that person's plea is honest.



On preview: And yes, I used to be a "bad girl" if prostitution qualifies, but I did that as jailbait, too. Would you like the rest of my life story while we're in here? It's not always nice.

How do we know this is true?
posted by Avogadro at 8:42 PM on February 28, 2005

Please don't call the people of a state stupid based on your voter fraud. Trusting? Yes. Stupid? Hardly.
posted by achmorrison at 8:45 PM on February 28, 2005

How do we know this is true?

the, uh, smell.
posted by quonsar at 8:46 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

Hey, now. I posted what I posted *before* she said she didn't like the prostitution thing. For all I knew, she thought it was fine.
posted by beth at 8:47 PM on February 28, 2005

Do you guys mind my asking about the decision to post this? When I read "I hope it doesn't embarrass her" it sounded like u.n. owen was unaware the post was going up. I thought for a moment it might indeed be a little emarassing. But with u.n. owen posting the first comment (post-MI), it appears she did have some kind of notice. This makes me wonder whether it was Flaming Bore's idea alone, or if the two of you thought it up and decided to do this together?

Pardon my line of questioning if it seems rude. I am definitely sympathetic to whatever you're going through. It's just that appeals for cash are highly unusual in this space and I'd like to know more about the decision to make one.
posted by scarabic at 8:50 PM on February 28, 2005

I posted what I posted *before* she said she didn't like the prostitution thing. For all I knew, she thought it was fine.

Yeah, I saw that. It was still out of line.

"Victim blaming is holding the victim who suffers from some adverse circumstancevictim of a crime or other misfortune to be in whole or in part responsible for what has happened to them.

This idea can also apply to people who are victims of accidents, natural disasters, or other personal misfortunes. The victims of these misfortunes are typically blamed for not being able to prevent or overcome their misfortune. Thus, for example, the poor are blamed for being feckless, and the victims of famine for not having the foresight to be prepared with stocks of food.

It has been proposed that one cause of the phenomenon of victim blaming is the so-called Just World hypothesis, where people who are inclined to believe that the world is a just place cannot accept a situation in which a person is hurt badly with no good reason. Therefore, they reason, people who are victims of misfortune must have done something to bring that misfortune upon them."

[source]
posted by Quartermass at 8:52 PM on February 28, 2005

I predict that after she is arrested for voter fraud / terrorism by DHS, we will again pass around the hat for her legal fees.
posted by Jairus at 8:53 PM on February 28, 2005

FYI u.n. owen, it's not a good idea to admit to a Federal Crime anywhere, ever.
posted by drezdn at 8:53 PM on February 28, 2005

STFU Quartershort.
posted by quonsar at 8:54 PM on February 28, 2005

This thread has sure turned into a right fuckup.
posted by MLIS at 8:54 PM on February 28, 2005

this post was a right fuckup at conception.
posted by quonsar at 8:56 PM on February 28, 2005

Well, hey, silly me for thinking metafilter was a prostitution-positive place. I mean, I was just basing my supposition on the general reaction to Pretty_Generic's askme thread about such things.

Or is there a double standard? It's fine to buy the services of a sex worker, but hideous to suggest that someone might be okay with *being* one?
posted by beth at 8:57 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

Hey, now. I posted what I posted *before* she said she didn't like the prostitution thing. For all I knew, she thought it was fine.

Which makes sense, considering that above, she said:

will it be a sexual service? 'cause I'd totally be up for that.
posted by bingo at 8:57 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

[x] Election Fraud
[x] Underage prostitution
[ ] Conspiracy to bilk money out of metafilterians
posted by vacapinta at 8:59 PM on February 28, 2005

If we're trading encyclopedia entries, I would also like my fellow Mefits to consider this one:

A confidence trick, confidence game, or con for short (also known as a scam) is an attempt to intentionally mislead a person or persons (known as the mark) usually with the goal of financial or other gain. The confidence trickster, con man, scam artist or con artist often works with an accomplice called the shill, who tries to encourage the mark by pretending to believe the trickster

[Source]
posted by daveadams at 9:00 PM on February 28, 2005

I'd like to add that this is a lie:

And I did vote in the 2000 election, at age 16, it was fraudulent but they accepted my college ID as a form of valid ID (stupid Iowans).

A fake ID might get you in to vote as someone else, but it won't get you registered to vote to begin with. In Iowa or anywhere else.
posted by bingo at 9:02 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

Okay, so where's the "personalized" underwear shopping cart link? I think I missed it. PLZKTHX!
posted by nearlife at 9:03 PM on February 28, 2005

i bet the books are stolen as well.
posted by quonsar at 9:05 PM on February 28, 2005

not to even mention the underwear.
posted by quonsar at 9:06 PM on February 28, 2005

This thread has sure turned into a right fuckup.

What quonsar said. Hard to imagine it turning out otherwise.

On preview, what quonsar said three of his posts up. Maybe more, if he's typing now.
posted by mediareport at 9:08 PM on February 28, 2005

snarkout, I purchased my account by trading for a gmail account on day 4 of gmail availability. And I did vote in the 2000 election, at age 16, it was fraudulent but they accepted my college ID as a form of valid ID (stupid Iowans). And yes, I used to be a "bad girl" if prostitution qualifies, but I did that as jailbait, too. Would you like the rest of my life story while we're in here? It's not always nice.

LIE!

I suggest Matt or jasmine-whatever close this thread before someone calls u.n. owen a dirty whore.

"What do you need a fake I.D. for?"
"So I can vote"
posted by Witty at 9:10 PM on February 28, 2005

Or is there a double standard? It's fine to buy the services of a sex worker, but hideous to suggest that someone might be okay with *being* one?

No, I don't think it is hideous to suggest that someone might be okay with being one. Of course not. But you didn't know whether she was ok with being one, so it seemed like a personal attack.

the quonsar told me to STFU? Awesome!
posted by Quartermass at 9:11 PM on February 28, 2005

the quonsar told me to STFU? Awesome!

a certificate suitable for framing is in the mail.
posted by quonsar at 9:14 PM on February 28, 2005 [2 favorites]

I just want to take the time to express something completely candid in a thread that's sure to be deleted. I'm in an elated mood lately--really fantastic really. I've never been so moved by the universe and all its complexities as I am right now. Also, I just figured out that the light switch in the bathroom controls the outlet near the light as well, which explains my beard trimmer not charging properly. Oh, and I met this girl. And I'm drinking sunkist orange soda. And I might have this kickass job starting this week. What about you guys?
posted by angry modem at 9:17 PM on February 28, 2005

I was going to post the following earlier, when this thread was nice and happy, but I figured I refrain (for once!) from being the bitchy contrarian.

Now that this thread has gone to hell, well, fuck, I'm not going to waste a good snark, am I?

It sucks to be at a point in life where a couple hundred bucks one way or another can mean the difference between normal life and losing electricity/apartment. Yow. :-/

Erm. I've spent my entire working life in a position where a few hundred bucks could cost me my apartment. I've had my electricity shut off (and might again, any day, because my electricity bill has inexplicably tripled and neither the power company nor my landlord seem terribly concerned).

Which is not to say I don't feel bad for you — when I've been dead broke, or close to it, it sucks, even when my bills are paid, and I don't wish that on you or anyone else — but I have the feeling that there are a lot of well-liked MeFi posters in similar situations at any given time. Good luck with your bookselling, and I hope the donations from this thread help you out.

But can we agree not to make a habit of this kind of post?
posted by IshmaelGraves at 9:17 PM on February 28, 2005

you call that good snark????
posted by quonsar at 9:19 PM on February 28, 2005

The best of MeFi's, the worst of MeFi's.

There is a principle in legal cases where someone who provides information to himself/herself is presumed to be telling the truth. The burden of truth then shifts to the other side. u.n. owen has admitted to several errors of judgment, and the reaction is disbelief?

She didn't ask for money; when asked about paying back money that would be loaned, she honestly says that she probably could, she thinks, but isn't sure when; and then she says:

Thank you all very, very much. I now have enough that the electric will get paid, and the landlord's giving me a small extension on the rent.

Yes, I can construct a story where she's extremely cleverly working the MeFi community for (several thousand?) dollars, and she's has brilliantly woven "girl of pluck" and "girl of need" into a false but compelling saga - but I won't.

And as for blogging for a living (as posted in her profile), she has discussed her employment (at a newspaper) at, among other places, here.
posted by WestCoaster at 9:21 PM on February 28, 2005

I have the feeling that there are a lot of well-liked MeFi posters in similar situations at any given time

sparechange.metafilter.com

I'd sign up.
posted by mediareport at 9:24 PM on February 28, 2005

This is a tough one -- a big part says, "Hey, a fellow member of a community I participate in needs a hand and people are helping her. How cool is MeFi?"

Then I look up at where it says there are 22178 members. I expect out of that many people u.n.owen is not the only person experiencing financial hardship. There are likely single parents out there struggling to support three children abandoned by a deadbeat ex, people with physical reasons they are unable to earn a living wage or people with overwhelming emotional or mental health issues who have a difficult time making ends meet.

I'm not prepared to determine who I feel is 'worthy' of my assistance and who isn't. In all honesty, a couple of, I assume, healthy twenty-somethings without children or medical issues are not likely to be on the top of my list when it comes to charitable giving. I'm a grouchy old guy with a dull life that revolves around my mortgage and my children, I see kids like this and my first thought is, "What the hell's wrong with you? Go explore. Hop on a slow boat to Asia. Sell your furniture for a plane ticket to Nepal and craft jewelry for tourists to sell in the market. Join the Peace Corp. Go back to school -- in France. You can do anything!"

I also have to say that I find u.n.owens reaction to this a little 'off'. There are people here who have been aware of problems I have had in the last few years and have offered to help in various ways. However, I would have been mortified if they had taken it upon themselves to publicly post about my financial difficulties. Throw in a bit of drama, an unemployed boyfriend who just moved in, a pretty bizarre tale of election fraud a hint of sex and it's no wonder people are asking questions.
posted by cedar at 9:26 PM on February 28, 2005

As a libertarian, I'm sure she'd prefer to allow the free market to help her out of her situation.
posted by drezdn at 9:27 PM on February 28, 2005

That's kind of what I suggested earlier...
posted by beth at 9:34 PM on February 28, 2005

A fake ID might get you in to vote as someone else, but it won't get you registered to vote to begin with. In Iowa or anywhere else.
posted by bingo at 9:02 PM PST on February 28 [!]

Hold on, Sherlocks -- Some states (Minnesota comes to mind, but maybe Iowa in 2000 too) allow same-day registration using any variety of ID. Who they allow to vote is very much in the poll worker's discretion, so it's not farfetched at all that they could have accepted a college ID.
posted by insideout at 9:34 PM on February 28, 2005

As a libertarian, I'm sure she'd prefer to allow the free market to help her out of her situation.

Let's be fair: libertarians are not opposed to voluntary giving of money from one party to another. That is, in fact, the very essence of the free market.

However, most people, I would hope, are at least a little skeptical of sending money to a random paypal account on the basis of a couple of pseudonymous strangers' vague indication of money trouble, though.
posted by daveadams at 9:36 PM on February 28, 2005

I'm trying to flag this post six ways from Sunday but I can't decide if it's fantastic post/comment, it breaks the guidelines, derail, noise, or other.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 9:40 PM on February 28, 2005

I don't know why anyone is giving beth a hard time, I thought it was funnier than hell.

C'mon, u.n.owen says, "will it be a sexual service? 'cause I'd totally be up for that," and then goes on to express her willingness to enter the field of camwhoredom and, "... pander with the best of 'em."

This doesn't sound like a young woman too traumatized by her work in the sex industry.
posted by cedar at 9:41 PM on February 28, 2005

u.n. owen has admitted to several errors of judgment, and the reaction is disbelief?

From mid-teens college, to voter fraud, to runaway, to prostitution, to blogging for a living, to Jeoprady, to an unemployed live-in boyfriend, to selling old books, to asking random strangers for money on the internet. It's a pretty unbelievable story.

Delete this thread.
posted by Arch Stanton at 9:41 PM on February 28, 2005

u.n. owen is likely an unshaven balding 53 year old man with a penchant for AOL chatrooms, and the whole jeopardy thing went south because he couldn't exactly show up at the planned meetup.
posted by quonsar at 9:45 PM on February 28, 2005

*sigh* the "blogging for a living" is a reference to the fact that I'm an opinion writer. It's like writing blog entries but getting paid.

And yes, in Iowa they accepted my ACTUAL college ID as proof of voting age. I went to college very young. I wanted to vote to see what it was like, and because everyone else was.

Good god. Yeah, if you want to delete the thread go ahead. I wasn't aware that "being traumatized by something" and "being able to make jokes about the same thing" were mutually exclusive. You guys must not be into the black comedy, eh?
posted by u.n. owen at 9:46 PM on February 28, 2005

WHORE!

WHORE!
posted by Witty at 9:46 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

Hold on, Sherlocks -- Some states (Minnesota comes to mind, but maybe Iowa in 2000 too) allow same-day registration using any variety of ID.

No. You still have to be in the system ahead of time. A driver's license is not proof of citizenship.
posted by bingo at 9:47 PM on February 28, 2005

And quonsar, feel free to phone me. If you email me, I'll give you my number. Or jessamyn, if you'd rather -- would you count on her vouchsafe that I'm an honest to god girl?
posted by u.n. owen at 9:47 PM on February 28, 2005

On the contrary. I find much to admire in the works of Richard Pryor.
posted by trondant at 9:47 PM on February 28, 2005

And quonsar, feel free to phone me.

Ewww.
posted by Witty at 9:48 PM on February 28, 2005

I'm an honest to god girl?

you're an honest to god train wreck.
posted by quonsar at 9:48 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

If jessamyn vouches for u.n. owen, I will send her a dollar.
posted by daveadams at 9:51 PM on February 28, 2005

Delete this thread.

Are you kidding? u.n. owen is a gimmick account full of comedy gold.
posted by cmonkey at 9:52 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

How would calling you confirm any details of your story, except perhaps that you are female?
posted by beth at 9:52 PM on February 28, 2005

I don't know. Would a fax of my driver's license, or tearsheets from my newspaper?
posted by u.n. owen at 9:53 PM on February 28, 2005

No. You still have to be in the system ahead of time.

Not in Wisconsin. At least not up until this week.
posted by drezdn at 9:53 PM on February 28, 2005

i'll accept nothing less than unlaundered panties.
posted by quonsar at 9:54 PM on February 28, 2005 [1 favorite]

give me money or i butcher the bunny.
posted by exlotuseater at 9:56 PM on February 28, 2005

I don't particularly care if you defame my character, okay? I've got a lot I'm not proud of. So you can say whatever you like. I've heard it. I don't have that much pride left to swallow. But you guys seem to really like kicking someone when she's down.

it's worth noting that I did not in fact start this thread. This was not my idea. That having been said, I did go along with it.
posted by u.n. owen at 9:57 PM on February 28, 2005

"Who they allow to vote is very much in the poll worker's discretion, so it's not farfetched at all that they could have accepted a college ID."

I can see them accepting a college ID. What I'm not clear on is why a sixteen-year old would have one. I understand that it's not unheard of, but most kids that age are still working on getting a drivers license and making it to homeroom on time. Throw in a direct trip from early college admission to homeless prostitution, a year and half a continent later, and I'm having some trouble with the timeline.

u.n.owen, I understand how frustrating this must be to read, if all your words are true, but you gotta admit your life is a bit outside the norm and you really can't expect people not to react this way. I'm left with two choices, accept what you say and wait for the book which I'm sure will be fascinating and solve your financial problems for years to come *or* write you off as a fabulist and still wait for the book, which will probably be even better than if it was true.
posted by cedar at 9:57 PM on February 28, 2005

Look, I can totally sympathize with being short on cash. I myself found myself to be overdrawn this morning. It sucks. I make less than ten dollars an hour as a state employee myself.

And in 2003, I was fired for reading metafilter at work.

I just don't think that metafilter is the right place to ask for donations. I think it sets a dangerous precedent. I don't think it's what this place is suppposed to be.

And frankly, as you can see, it lets loose the snark-monsters when you start asking them for money based on pity.
posted by beth at 10:01 PM on February 28, 2005

u.n. owen is the only thing making metatalk interesting lately.
posted by angry modem at 10:01 PM on February 28, 2005

Self correction: *did* work, I guess.
posted by amandaudoff at 10:03 PM on February 28, 2005

So, u.n. owen, what's the total rake so far?
posted by Witty at 10:03 PM on February 28, 2005

Good point, cedar. I mean, if people aren't really going to believe you anyway, what the hell's the point of not embellishing?
posted by Ryvar at 10:03 PM on February 28, 2005

posted by quonsar at 10:04 PM on February 28, 2005

Good lord people. Let me apologize for starting this trainwreck of a thread. Please feel free to delete and I hope to live this down sometime later this year.
posted by FlamingBore at 10:06 PM on February 28, 2005

If a few hundred dollars would help you make ends meet, why don't you pawn your home computer, Ms. Owen? You don't even have to go sans internet, as there are many computers (with broadband!) at your local library.
you just made metatalk jump the shark. I hope you're happy.
posted by LimePi at 10:06 PM on February 28, 2005

Lordy, lordy.

Now you've done did it. You've set the MeFi Irregulars out in hot pursuit -- remember, we nailed Kaycee Nicole and found Jorn Barger wandering the desert.
posted by cedar at 10:06 PM on February 28, 2005

cedar:

Since you ask, here's the story.

Kindergarten, one year early, Catholic school, age 4. Was not reinvited to Catholic school following discipline problems, grade 2. Skipped fourth grade after intelligence test battery and a lot of little-kid soul-searching.

Skipped seventh grade following stellar sixth grade year. Things ensued the summer before eighth grade that sucked and I ended up failing because I stopped giving a damn. Attended Rock Valley Community College, Rockford, Illinois concurrently with high school, junior and senior years, ages 14 and 15. Attended Beloit College, Beloit, Wisconsin, concurrently with senior year, taking one class per semester under the free Porter Scholar program.

Took 12 AP tests (with only 3 AP classes). Passed 11 (failed Comparative Government, but it's free when you take the U.S. gov't exam). This put me at barely 16, in early 2000.

Accepted at a slew of colleges, had to look for good financial aid package, found it at a liberal arts college in Iowa. Went to college with junior standing, majoring in political science. Began my honors thesis on desegregation in the Rockford Public Schools and judicial activism. If you're taking notes, this is where election 2000 happened. I saw Gore about a week or so beforehand, when he did a speech in Cedar Rapids. a child on the stage as a human prop for Gore fainted and had to be medically attended to by a doctor in the audience.

Parents pulled me out of school at age 17 years, 4 days for not attending classes. Left with a 3.4 average, which, all things considered, not so bad. For 7 months, worked as a staff writer for local underdog paper (now defunct), the Belvidere Daily Republican.

Parents became increasingly abusive, continuing patterns from my early adolescence. Ran away from home, aged 17 years, 8 months, after massive layoffs at newspaper. Moved to Fountain Valley, California, with someone I thought I loved. He broke up with me, and I was too proud and too scared to go home, so I made money in the only way I could with no fucking car (it died a day after I finished the trip) and no fucking journalism jobs in town that didn't require one, and a $900 rent bill.

Left doing that at age exactly 18 when two friends helped me out and gave me a place to stay. If you want the story after that, please email me. This much should help with any timeline confusion, though.
posted by u.n. owen at 10:06 PM on February 28, 2005

more backstory...
posted by xo at 10:07 PM on February 28, 2005

I like pie. Any of you guys like the Chocolate French Silk pie from Perkin's? I like it when it's not straight from a too-cold cooler. Because then it's nice and soft. Like a luscious pair of breasts.
posted by angry modem at 10:09 PM on February 28, 2005

thanks, xo. Before anyone asks me to explain the "attorney" comment from the livejournal profile: teen peer court, Harlem Township, Illinois. 1998-2000.
posted by u.n. owen at 10:09 PM on February 28, 2005

no panties, no money.
posted by quonsar at 10:12 PM on February 28, 2005

Quonsar, you are a pleasure to deal with as always.
posted by u.n. owen at 10:13 PM on February 28, 2005

wow, this is a mess. Also, I wasn't around when Aaron was here, but judging from that metatalk thread, he doesn't sound like the kind of person I would miss.
posted by puke & cry at 10:13 PM on February 28, 2005

Holy crap... and you still found time to get law degree, teaching credentials and be a performer.
posted by cedar at 10:13 PM on February 28, 2005

I'm sure FlamingBore meant well, and u.n. owen, you have my sympathies for whatever difficulties you're going through, but I think we've proven beyond any shadow of a doubt that metafilter is not the place for this.

Can we please, please delete this trainwreck?
posted by Space Kitty at 10:14 PM on February 28, 2005

posted by mosch at 10:17 PM on February 28, 2005

It's better (or worse) than Vandersexxx...
posted by benzo8 at 10:18 PM on February 28, 2005

I was recently made homeless shortly after my dad tried to fit me up for insurance fraud and basically move from one disaster to the next.: some 'filters are homeless, miss selfish attention whore. Thanks for sharing your mediocre life story with teh internet, though.
posted by naxosaxur at 10:19 PM on February 28, 2005

Cedar: the performance in front of 30,000 people is on a DVD available on amazon.com -- it's the cheap trick 25th anniversary concert. *smile* Senior year of high school. Robin Zander (Cheap Trick's singer) graduated from my high school and brought our choir to sing at the concert.

No law degree needed to act as an attorney. One can act as one's own. In my case, I was an attorney for an innovative teen peer court program. It was good, we had a 5% recidivism rate, which is absolutely demented in juvenile crime.

And no one needs a credential to teach. *smile*
posted by u.n. owen at 10:19 PM on February 28, 2005

And I fully agree that it should, at this point, be taken off, but I want it made clear that my character can be impugned in many ways quite fairly, and I accept all that -- but I don't lie about what I've done, and the notion that I do grates on me like nothing else.
posted by u.n. owen at 10:21 PM on February 28, 2005

oh hey guys, I heard u.n. owen has a t3 in the basement of her summer home.
posted by angry modem at 10:21 PM on February 28, 2005

Not to sound horrible pretentious or anything, but it's kind of sad to watch someone else learn the horrible truth of the Internet from the school of hard knocks right here in this thread. Hopefully someone as intelligent as you claim to be will learn something from it.
posted by Ryvar at 10:23 PM on February 28, 2005

robin zander has an OC12 in his H2.
posted by quonsar at 10:24 PM on February 28, 2005

Enh, the internet's done things to me before and it will again. The naysayers in this thread don't hurt my feelings too badly, but the understanding and kind emails I've received have made my whole day brighter. I choose to look at the good things, and address the bad ones honestly and forthrightly. I'm sorry if that's not how things are done in interwebland.
posted by u.n. owen at 10:25 PM on February 28, 2005

COMPUTER BITCH
posted by naxosaxur at 10:25 PM on February 28, 2005

You still haven't told us how much you've made from this little mission yet u.n. owen.
posted by Witty at 10:26 PM on February 28, 2005

enough to keep bun e. carlos in smokes for a week.
posted by quonsar at 10:28 PM on February 28, 2005

Okay, I'm sold. I kinda almost maybe believe you, but you are aware that you have probably destroyed all chances of significant donations, aren't you? A woman of your accomplishments and obvious intelligence is not only clearly capable of taking care of herself but would be found worthy of envy by many.

Good luck. I'll leave you alone now. Sure, I'm skeptical as hell but I'm not about to sit back and call you liar without any evidence. I'm way too lazy to play detective; aside from the fact that as someone who isn't going to give you a dime, it's really none of my business.
posted by cedar at 10:28 PM on February 28, 2005

That having been said, I did go along with it.

Which would be the first and most important lesson to take with you from the experience of this thread.

Don't just go along with something inappropriate.
posted by mediareport at 10:30 PM on February 28, 2005

And yes, in Iowa they accepted my ACTUAL college ID as proof of voting age. I went to college very young. I wanted to vote to see what it was like, and because everyone else was.
I can vouch for owen on this fact. Most public university IDs in fact are property of the state and pass as valid ID. I know it did here in Georgia.
posted by jmd82 at 10:30 PM on February 28, 2005

Let's start a scrapbook!
posted by odinsdream at 10:33 PM on February 28, 2005

this is just fucking retarded now. where's matt? asleep?!?! For fucks sake!
posted by puke & cry at 10:33 PM on February 28, 2005

I'd like to know what u.n. owen has to say about this. NSFW
posted by Witty at 10:33 PM on February 28, 2005

frykitty! I'd forgotten that site! thank you. I was wondering if I'd dreamed it (I often have dreams where I get mini-windfalls). I will do that, actually. Thanks!

And yes, I do understand. I also would like to say that at this point, I will be able to make an arrangement with my landlord and I will be able to eat and have power.

For someone wondering about pawning my personal computer, the beast has the most jury-rigged case ever and is five years old. :) If it brought fifty dollars it'd be amazing, and then I'd have to pay five hundred for a new one. I've pawned quite a bit already and have roughly 10 DVDs and 15 CDs, total. And most of those are the ones I couldn't sell at any price.

For those wondering how much I've made: the current total is at approximately $250, plus someone's check that is in the mail (though if they revoked it after this clusterfuck, I would not blame them). If I didn't need it, it surely wouldn't be worth all this grief. As it stands, it is. Pride has gotten me nothing but trouble, so I've decided not to bother with it.

I've been nothing but truthful. I could have easily hidden the reason I needed the money, rather than said it was my own stupidity. I could have kept "incriminating" evidence away. I could have done a lot of things but I didn't, because I wanted to be honest with people who were being kind and generous to me -- and even with people who perhaps were not nearly so kind and generous.
posted by u.n. owen at 10:35 PM on February 28, 2005

I love that it was Fountain Valley that drove you to prostitution.
posted by tinamonster at 10:37 PM on February 28, 2005

approximately $250

i knew mefites were a moronic lot...
posted by quonsar at 10:37 PM on February 28, 2005 [2 favorites]

Jesus God, Witty. I hate you forever now :)
posted by puke & cry at 10:38 PM on February 28, 2005