These two posts on "How to be good in relationships" are chatfilter

December 27, 2006 8:26 PM

ChatFilter
posted by Stynxno to Etiquette/Policy at 8:26 PM (52 comments total)

both of these threads solve no specific problem and are filled with answers that already appear in earlier threads. several of the earlier threads are mentioned in the above threads.

does human relationship questions get a free pass as chatfilter?
posted by Stynxno at 8:28 PM on December 27, 2006

I'm inclined to agree.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:28 PM on December 27, 2006 [1 favorite]

ChatUpFilter
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:29 PM on December 27, 2006

These are problems that the community can help with. Not only that, the answers will undoubtedly be used by others who find themselves plagued by doubts while in a new relationship. Neither is a question that is only designed to facilitate chatting.

This isn't a hypothetical. Both are real world questions. Both have answers that are hard to come by. I think they both should stand as non-chat filter.
posted by aburd at 8:35 PM on December 27, 2006

I thought the first one was worthwhile, but the second one is really redundant because the first thread contained plenty of gender-neutral advice.
posted by amyms at 8:36 PM on December 27, 2006

The first one is kind of chatty but the person is looking for advice along some lines. They've set up a few boundaries. The second one is totally open ended and even worse, it's like "hey, what that guy just said, me too, but I have even less input to give, so please just talk amongst yourselves about this general topic".
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:36 PM on December 27, 2006

I think it's possible AskMeta has hit the limit of various relationship drama questions- we may have addressed every issue there is in the world (or close). Still, I think people will continue to ask their versions of the same ole' questions, and I don't think it's horrible that they do so, as long as the question is phrased properly.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:39 PM on December 27, 2006 [1 favorite]

Yeah doing a two in a row thing on the same day is not that cool. I feel sort of the same way mathowie does -- the first one had a question, the second one was sort of "let's talk about this" There's always a fine line, but if people have a specific question we'l rarely pull something for being a doubleish post.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:42 PM on December 27, 2006

How can I be a good adulterer?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:44 PM on December 27, 2006

Yeah, "Really just the first thing that pops into your head" is a serious boundary.
posted by knave at 8:47 PM on December 27, 2006

thank god, because I always wanted to know if a man, armed with a 6 inch hunting knife and nothing more, could take a full grown bear assuming no element of surprise.
posted by shmegegge at 9:52 PM on December 27, 2006

Is the bear wearing a suit of armor composed entirely of hundreds of toddlers?
posted by loquacious at 10:01 PM on December 27, 2006

And if you crack open the toddlers, does each and every one contain a bushel of cute little kittens?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:07 PM on December 27, 2006

Two kinds of responses in that first one:

1) People describing what they like or would like to find in a good boyfriend
2) People convinced that they are good boyfriends and generously sharing their wisdom.

The first category seem to be what the poster is after.
The second category are just incredibly and unintentionally funny.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:08 PM on December 27, 2006

wait, are they zombie toddlers?
posted by blue_beetle at 10:13 PM on December 27, 2006

I hope so, 'cause if they aren't and you crack 'em open, you're going to get in all kinds of trouble.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:24 PM on December 27, 2006

OK, more or less on-topic: isn't this a bit much, too?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:27 PM on December 27, 2006

Those better be zombie kittens, too.
posted by loquacious at 11:22 PM on December 27, 2006

Only when the kittens are on a cubic planet.
posted by knave at 11:45 PM on December 27, 2006

The first question just reminds me of the 'How can I be a good dad?' that was so popular. Only, y'know, more emo.
posted by slimepuppy at 12:20 AM on December 28, 2006

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by grouse at 1:27 AM on December 28, 2006

Who, me?
posted by Meatbomb at 2:10 AM on December 28, 2006

people will continue to ask their versions of the same ole' questions, and I don't think it's horrible that they do so, as long as the question is phrased properly.

I'd agree. It's like songwriting: there's not that much that's really new to say, but saying the old stuff with a new twist is the way to go.

Or, as Leonard Cohen put it, new skin for the old ceremony.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:10 AM on December 28, 2006

The kittens turn into pieces of gold, which can be redeemed for jam, but only while the troll is still around.
posted by bingo at 6:29 AM on December 28, 2006

How can I be a good MetaTalker?
posted by jonmc at 6:30 AM on December 28, 2006

I didn't even read the comments on the second one because the question was so boneheaded.

Even under the best circumstances I probably wouldn't take advice on my relationship from internet strangers, as knowing the parties involved is pretty key to any real insight, IMO. The idea of "Listen more" and so forth being actually helpful to someone is depressing as hell. Some people ride around on training wheels their entire life.
posted by hermitosis at 6:30 AM on December 28, 2006

what hermitosis said.
posted by localhuman at 6:32 AM on December 28, 2006

Some people ride around on training wheels their entire life.

Some don't even make it to training wheels and have to spend life on a tricycle.

*sniff*
posted by jonmc at 6:35 AM on December 28, 2006

Jon, stop tugging on your helmet! Mommy and Daddy will let you know when you're ready to ride the trike without it.
posted by hermitosis at 6:42 AM on December 28, 2006

Fine, but what's with the life preserver? We're on dry land.
posted by jonmc at 6:44 AM on December 28, 2006

Where's your avalanche beacon? WHY AREN'T YOU IN YOUR BUBBLE?
posted by loquacious at 6:53 AM on December 28, 2006

The only proper answer to both questions is "Oral sex. Lots and lots of it."
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:56 AM on December 28, 2006 [1 favorite]

WHERE ARE YOUR BACON UNDERPANTS?
posted by loquacious at 6:57 AM on December 28, 2006 [1 favorite]

WHO TOLD YOU TO STOP EATING NEWTS?
posted by loquacious at 6:58 AM on December 28, 2006

That would be "the only proper answer to both questions referred to in the original post", not "the only proper answer to both of loquacious' questions above my comment", as "Oral sex. Lots and lots of it" could only reasonably be construed to answer loquacious' second question.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:59 AM on December 28, 2006

Where's your avalanche beacon?

i read this as avalance bacon. now i'm hungry.
posted by Stynxno at 7:12 AM on December 28, 2006

Mmmm, an avalanche of bacon.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:16 AM on December 28, 2006

To be followed by a blizzard of scrambled eggs and a flood of hashbrowns.
posted by jonmc at 7:17 AM on December 28, 2006

Today on Metatalk: "If Paul Bunyan were a trucker."
posted by cortex at 7:29 AM on December 28, 2006

...he'd be a bad motherfucker"
posted by jonmc at 7:33 AM on December 28, 2006

I wish people would take more time to search the AskMe database. I seem to see more and more duplicates.
posted by orange swan at 7:35 AM on December 28, 2006

To be followed by a blizzard of scrambled eggs and a flood of hashbrowns avalanches of toast, torrents of jelly, rivers of butter, geysers of Tabasco, and tsunamis of ketchup.

Oh look! It's raining coffee and Danish!

(can you tell I haven't had breakfast yet)

As to the how to be a good boy/girlfriend. Simple. Be thoughtful. That's it.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:43 AM on December 28, 2006

It's raining coffee and Danish!

One of Slayer's early abandoned songs.
posted by jonmc at 8:10 AM on December 28, 2006

Now I'm hungry.
posted by languagehat at 8:19 AM on December 28, 2006

Well, there should be a tornado of toast along anytime now.
posted by jonmc at 8:25 AM on December 28, 2006

*obligatory comment regarding lack of img tag*
posted by ninjew at 8:29 AM on December 28, 2006

What, you mean it's Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs?
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:18 AM on December 28, 2006

Damnit. Now I'm hungry. Time for a tornado of TOAST MEAT.
posted by loquacious at 10:15 AM on December 28, 2006

Oral sex. Lots and lots of it.

Now I'm hungry.
posted by jimfl at 12:48 PM on December 28, 2006

jonmc: My tricycle is the awesomest thing ever, so don't you knock it.

Plus, I'm sure it makes me a better boyfriend somehow.
posted by elr at 2:42 PM on December 28, 2006

I think it's possible AskMeta has hit the limit of various relationship drama questions

There have not been enough enquiries from people about the tenderest ways to have sex with their cats (or other pets). Given the apparent expertise of everyone about every relationship but their own, I expect great things from such a conversation.
posted by meehawl at 2:59 PM on December 28, 2006

I think it's possible AskMeta has hit the limit of various relationship drama questions

Just when you think you've seen it all, out comes the poop question.
posted by onlyconnect at 2:35 PM on December 30, 2006