Please kill this linkspamming whore.

January 18, 2006 11:34 AM

Please kill this linkspamming whore. Thanks.
posted by loquacious to Etiquette/Policy at 11:34 AM (48 comments total)

Encore Tabs gave me herpes for life.
posted by rxrfrx at 11:35 AM on January 18, 2006

Encore Tabs made my friend's dick turn black, shrivel up and fall off.
posted by loquacious at 11:36 AM on January 18, 2006

Two testicles up!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:36 AM on January 18, 2006

double!!!

encore tabs turned my dick inside out.
posted by panoptican at 11:37 AM on January 18, 2006

And again.
posted by GuyZero at 11:40 AM on January 18, 2006

A top team of British scientists and medical doctors have worked to develop the state-of-the-art Pen1s Enlargment Patch delivery system which automatically increases pen1s size up to 3-4 full inches. The patches are the easiest and most effective way to increase your size. You won't have to take pills, get under the knife to perform expensive and very painful surgery, use any pumps or other devices. No one will ever find out that you are using our product. Just apply one patch on your body and wear it for 3 days and you will start noticing dramatic results.
posted by killdevil at 11:41 AM on January 18, 2006

Yeah, these motherfuckers are getting a few phone calls. I've got some time to kill before work.


Thank you for your interest in Encore Tabs. It is our goal to provide you with the best customer service possible. We welcome your comments, suggestions, and questions.

E- mail Inquries:

Customer Service: [e-mail]

Product Information and Questions: [e-mail]

Wholesale and Retail Inquires: [e-mail]

Standard mail:

Encore Tabs

385 S. Burnside Ave.

Los Angeles, CA 90036

Phone Orders:

(323) 857- 0322

Fax Orders:

(323) 857- 5881
posted by loquacious at 11:41 AM on January 18, 2006

Whoo, his second comment demonstrates mastery of HTML linking!
posted by killdevil at 11:42 AM on January 18, 2006

I have heard that merely visiting any site that promotes Encore Tabs puts you on a government watch-list and crashes your computer and gives you ass-cancer. I just heard that though.
posted by ND¢ at 11:43 AM on January 18, 2006

encoretabs.com = [ 64.34.167.164 ]

Registrant:
Celsia Health Products
David Pourmand
385 S. Burnside Avenue
Los Angeles CA 90036 US
Email: [e-mail]

Registrar Name....: REGISTER.COM INC.
Registrar Whois...: whois.register.com
Registrar Homepage: www.register.com
Domain Name: encoretabs.com
Created on..............: Mon Jul 18 2005
Expires on..............: Tue Jul 18 2006
Record last updated on..: Fri Nov 18 2005
Administrative Contact:
Encore Tabs
David Pourmand
385 S. Burnside Avenue
Los Angeles CA 90036 US
Phone: [phone]
Email: [e-mail]

Technical Contact:
Register.Com
Domain Registrar
575 8th Avenue 11th Floor
New York NY 10018 US
Phone: [phone]
Email: [e-mail]
posted by monju_bosatsu at 11:45 AM on January 18, 2006

I really, really want this asshole's IP address.

Voice phone goes to mailbox. Anyone feel like stuffing their fax machine or inbox full of goatse?
posted by loquacious at 11:45 AM on January 18, 2006

I celebrate his initiative.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:49 AM on January 18, 2006

crusty, pus-filled blisters erupted all over his scrotum 30 minutes after ingesting Encore Tabs.
posted by quonsar at 11:49 AM on January 18, 2006

Even negative links will help his Google rank.
posted by killdevil at 11:51 AM on January 18, 2006

I just spoke with David Pourmand at the phone number 1-310-7803187 and informed him in no uncertain terms that he just opened up a huge can of whoopass on himself. I heard his phone ringing in the background as well.

He says it is his "administrator" doing the spamming. I hope that that administrator gets fucking fired.

Encore tabs stab puppies and eat babies.
posted by loquacious at 11:52 AM on January 18, 2006

ok, got, banned. For those just tuning in, the guy posted two comments like this one

"I have to share this because now when I look at woman I feel good because I am no longer a limp dog. I tried this natural product called Encore Tabs and boy does it work. I had to stop taking Viagra because my head felt like it was going to explode. Anyhow I wanted to post this as a link,but the site wouldn't let me. you should check it out"
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:52 AM on January 18, 2006

I'm just glad he's no longer a limp dog. Because that must really suck.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:55 AM on January 18, 2006

Encore Tabs made my dick as limp as spaghetti.
posted by quonsar at 11:55 AM on January 18, 2006

I am no longer a limp dog. Because my excised penis was ground up and mixed with cockroach seman and aborted penguin fetuses to make Encore Tabs. Encore Tabs: Because nothing makes you harder than rigor mortis!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:56 AM on January 18, 2006

Anyhow I wanted to post this as a link,but the site wouldn't let me.

Boy, he just couldn't wait and post a few fake comments before making a FPP.

"Dammit... I haven't put enough time into this site yet to post a link. Fuck it, I need to unload these penis pills ASAP. I'll just put a link in a comment of an unrelated post."
posted by Robot Johnny at 11:58 AM on January 18, 2006

Encore Tabs made my head explode.
posted by johnny novak at 11:59 AM on January 18, 2006

well, i'll be quondamned.
posted by quonsar at 11:59 AM on January 18, 2006

Who needs Encore Tabs when MetaTalk gets me hard for free.
posted by tweak at 11:59 AM on January 18, 2006

Pony request: A "banned user" indicator on user pages.

Spamming is increasing, and probably will continue to increase. Perhaps "Banned for being a filthy, link-spamming whore." or something.
posted by loquacious at 12:00 PM on January 18, 2006

The real victims here are genuinely flaccid canines.
posted by cortex at 12:00 PM on January 18, 2006

Can his 5$ signup fee be donated to charity? It would be nifty to designate banned user's signup money to charity, or come up with some sort of matching scheme. Sort of like a Penny-Arcade/ESRB/Jack Thompson thing.
posted by tweak at 12:01 PM on January 18, 2006

loquacious, I doubt that'd have any significant deterrent effect. Chances are, a spammer smart enough to worry about tarring his good name will leave any identifying info out of his profile; and any spammer not smart enough to take such precautions is unlikely to be so savvy yet that they will behave well for fear that their user page on a the site about which they do not give a shit will say bad things.
posted by cortex at 12:02 PM on January 18, 2006

Encore Tabs made quonsar.
posted by MarkAnd at 12:03 PM on January 18, 2006

Actually, Encore Tabs makes for a pleasant spice when you're braising your dog, even if it makes the meat a little tough. A wooden tenderize will return your dog to the proper limpness.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:03 PM on January 18, 2006

because I am no longer a limp dog

On the Internet nobody knows your're a dog.
posted by ericb at 12:04 PM on January 18, 2006

OBSCENE ART
posted by soyjoy at 12:04 PM on January 18, 2006

tenderizer.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:04 PM on January 18, 2006

"Can his 5$ signup fee be donated to charity?"

Just think of it as going toward some Huggies instead. ;-P
posted by mischief at 12:09 PM on January 18, 2006

cortex: I wouldn't think of it as a deterrent. Just for internal user reference.
posted by loquacious at 12:13 PM on January 18, 2006

This classy trick looks terrific by itself, but when combined with a variety of other tricks, it gives the look of a professional routine. Don't pass it by. Besides, you never know when your "limping dog" will give you just the edge you need in a touchy situation.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:16 PM on January 18, 2006

Ah, okay. "user banned" with a link to relevant comment or thread, then, I suppose?

I'm neither here nor there; it seems like the sort of thing that an obsessive mefite could manage as an offsite utility, which might be better in that it avoids a feature request that doesn't really do much. But then, I suppose if it tickles Matt's fancy...
posted by cortex at 12:18 PM on January 18, 2006

DEAR S IR ,

THE GRACE OF GOD BE ONTO Y OU. MY NAME IS HON. DAVID POURMAND. I AM THE BROTH ER OF THE EXILED KING OF ENCORE TABS. I HAVE ONE MILLION ERECT IONS IN A OFF SHORE BANK ACCOUNT TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTENCE IN OBTAINING THIS.
posted by milquetoast at 12:19 PM on January 18, 2006

He says it is his "administrator" doing the spamming.

His admin used the boss's last name as a login? Suuuuure.

P.S. Child pornography & terrorism
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:22 PM on January 18, 2006

Please spam me.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:28 PM on January 18, 2006

Optimus: Yeah, my thoughts exactly. He was quite civil on the phone, as was I. But he sounded like he was maybe 23 or 25 or something, so maybe it was his "admin" downstairs. Clueless, regardless.
posted by loquacious at 12:31 PM on January 18, 2006

Man, you know, I really can't wait for google to update.
posted by Freen at 12:34 PM on January 18, 2006

Here's another number: [phone]

BUT THAT'S FOR DISTRIBUTORS AND RETAILERS ONLY DON'T CALL IT
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:34 PM on January 18, 2006

Also - encoretabs.com, I was told by my supervisor the other day, is the number one site to go to for pictures of naked underage children. Apparently, the folks who work at Encore Tabs earn the majority of their household income by putting these preteen pornstars to work for them making basketball shoes, you know when they're not selling drugs to minors. Have you heard about Encore Tabs's latest venture? They're apparently responsible for the grisly murder of children. Somebody told me that one of the staff at Encore raped his wife and children. These accusations mesh well with my own suspicion that David Pourmand is a syphilitic hamster abuser whose urine drinking habits have driven him rather insane. Still, I don't that should forgive David Pourmand, or Encore Tabs, for the serial murder of rodents by anal insertion. It's just not right.

Of course, that's all hearsay and I haven't a shred of evidence or substance to validate any of the above statements. They're merely rumors, and quite possibly entirely false.

Encore Tabs suck.
posted by y6y6y6 at 12:36 PM on January 18, 2006

David Pourmand suffers from chronic erectile problems. David Pourmand cannot control the timing of his ejaculation. David Pourmand has little sex drive and desire. David Pourmand is filled with sexual performance anxiety.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:37 PM on January 18, 2006

Pourmand vs. Chuck Norris vs. Jack Bauer.

My money's on Bauer.
posted by TeamBilly at 12:41 PM on January 18, 2006

encore tabs

made my dick

smaller than my balls
posted by wakko at 12:46 PM on January 18, 2006

Don't fuck with Chuck.
posted by blag at 12:52 PM on January 18, 2006

ok, I think this is done.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 12:54 PM on January 18, 2006