Safety first! August 19, 2007 10:13 AM   Subscribe

Before yesterday, it'd been 280 days, since November 11th, that we'd gone without a Metatalk post.
posted by ikkyu2 to MetaFilter-Related at 10:13 AM (80 comments total)

That's too long. Quit yer bitching, people.
posted by ikkyu2 at 10:13 AM on August 19, 2007


Yeah! What he said!
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:17 AM on August 19, 2007


So the bitching about the bitching is ok?
posted by Burhanistan at 10:22 AM on August 19, 2007 [4 favorites]


Oh, I get it now!

MetaTalk is like the MetaFilter for MetaFilter!
posted by cowbellemoo at 10:26 AM on August 19, 2007


Yeah! Take your goddamned podcasts, meetups and site updates and leave! I'm sick of all these stupid people using MetaTalk for legitimate purposes.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:28 AM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Non sequitur
posted by Burhanistan at 10:32 AM on August 19, 2007


Whether yesterday actually qualifies depends on what time zone you're in, and I'm prety sure we've had a 24-hour MeTa-free more than once since November 11th. But if there's going to be a party - like, with pie and soda? - I'd be up for that.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:34 AM on August 19, 2007


Huh? Yesterday shows a Metatalk post on my screen... The Black Rock Desert post is 12:35 a.m. (CDT) on August 18... Not everyone lives in the same time zone, so not everyone experiences a "MetaTalk Free Day" when other users do.
posted by amyms at 10:35 AM on August 19, 2007


Yeah, freakin' timezoneists.
posted by chrismear at 10:35 AM on August 19, 2007


I'm assuming ikkyu2 would provide the pie and soda.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:35 AM on August 19, 2007


I was crouching in my chair last night, naked except for boxers, cheering as the clock ticked down and a full 24 hours transpired. Then while I was waiting for someone to make a MeTa post (so my noting of the event wasn't the end of it) I finished off a bottle of Thunderbird and passed out watching Roxanne. Thanks, ikkyu2, for picking up the slack and reminding us all what a day without MetaTalk can be like. Personally, I need that more often.
posted by carsonb at 10:36 AM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


I don't like to travel, so it might be simplest for you to mail my a pie, and I will promise to act duly celebratory when it arrives.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:38 AM on August 19, 2007


Yes, I think ikkyu2 should provide pie and soda to all of us who are offended by his timezoneism.
posted by amyms at 10:39 AM on August 19, 2007


i prefer pie&tonic to pie&soda.
posted by Kwine at 10:47 AM on August 19, 2007


I prefer gin and tonic to scotch and soda, because it seems like if you have good scotch, you should drink it neat.

But just tonic? Eugh.
posted by klangklangston at 10:59 AM on August 19, 2007


Really? Plain tonic with a squeeze of lime is a lovely refresher on a hot summer day (and is acceptable in the office, even if two co-workers insisted on tasting it before they'd believe I hadn't put any gin in it).

I'm not really in the mood for pie, though. ikkyu2, please make mine a Hendricks martini with three pearl onions.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:02 AM on August 19, 2007


[NOT TIMEZONIST]
posted by ikkyu2 at 11:20 AM on August 19, 2007


And DNAB, that's not a Martini, that's a Gibson. I make good Martinis and Gibsons.
posted by ikkyu2 at 11:21 AM on August 19, 2007


In celebration, you should bake a pie.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:38 AM on August 19, 2007


Sorry, I'm used to asking for that as a martini. Very few bartenders in this city (at the places I tend to go to, anyway) know wtf a Gibson is.

Alternatively, you could use kalamata olives stuffed with either garlic or blue cheese.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:38 AM on August 19, 2007


occhiblu loves those blue-cheese-stuffed olives. I'd just as soon have a Vienna sausage in my Martini, which is to say, not very soon.

Why don't you just order a Bloody Caesar like everyone else in Toronto? When Snoop Dogg said "Gin and juice" I'm sure clams were what he had in mind.
posted by ikkyu2 at 11:44 AM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


So MetaTalk had a day of silence for my birthday last year? I knew I was important and all, but wow!
posted by brundlefly at 11:50 AM on August 19, 2007


Because Clamato is Satan's urine?

Seriously, what rocket scientist thought "Hey, tomato juice isn't gross enough, let's add clam juice to it!" Yuck yuck yuck gross icky yuck.

I've never had a blue cheese stuffed olive; haven't been able to find them here. I just like the idea of them. And really, Hendricks should be garnished with a slice of cucumber, or so they say.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:53 AM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


gin + vermouth + olive = Martini
gin + vermouth + onion = Gibson
vodka + vermouth + olive = NOT A MARTINI
posted by fandango_matt at 12:00 PM on August 19, 2007 [5 favorites]


wow, all you martini purists must get really upset when you go to out and they hand you their Martini Menu replete with chocolate martinis and sour appletinis.
posted by mosessis at 12:02 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


I had a bartender friend a few years back who made "Ovaltinis." Not bad, actually.
posted by brundlefly at 12:04 PM on August 19, 2007


Isn't all of that really a cheap justification for alcoholism?
posted by Burhanistan at 12:05 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


A martini can also have a twist of lemon. And, properly, should have a dash of orange bitters.

And what's the deal with bartenders serving martinis without vermouth, which I have gotten twice the past month. What the fuck? That's just a straight shot of gin. Without vermouth, IT IS NOT A MARTINI.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:09 PM on August 19, 2007


posted by mosessis wow, all you martini purists must get really upset when you go to out and they hand you their Martini Menu replete with chocolate martinis and sour appletinis.

Martini drinkers don't go to places with martini menus.
posted by fandango_matt at 12:10 PM on August 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


wtf Astro Zombie? I would totally lose my shit if I got a vermouthless martini. I've never had one with orange bitters, though. With the right gin that could be extremely tasty.

fandango_matt, I do go to places (sometimes) with martini menus. Nine times out of ten I order a proper one, but sometimes a Cosmo or something similar really hits the spot. I cringe inwardly every time such a concoction is referred to as a martini, but what the hell--it's tasty booze.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:19 PM on August 19, 2007


Hey, knock yourself out. Just don't call those drinks martinis, because they aren't. A cosmopolitan is not a martini, chocolate vodka and vermouth is not a martini. It's like calling Fark MetaFilter, capisce?
posted by fandango_matt at 12:26 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


That's not a Martin; that's a Gibson.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:35 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


All this martini talk is just a camouflaged Metachat thread. Take it to the bunnies, bitches! We're waiting for you DNAB!
posted by SassHat at 12:38 PM on August 19, 2007


when you go to out and they hand you their Martini Menu replete with chocolate martinis and sour appletinis.

This kind of thing actually doesn't happen in certain civilized places in the world, man. Visit San Francisco; note the little martini-glass signs, many of them neon. You can stop in at any one of these places and get a Martini that is made with gin, vermouth and an olive.
posted by ikkyu2 at 12:41 PM on August 19, 2007


fandango_matt, I totally agree with you. The problem is that I don't wish to get into a dissertation on what is and is not a martini with a wage slave waiter when all I want is booze in my gullet.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:41 PM on August 19, 2007


Grandmother: Cocktails?

Me: Granny it's only 3:42 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon.

Grandmother: It's past 5:00 p.m. somewhere in the world.

Me: Okay, Granny. I'll have a gin-and-tonic.
posted by ericb at 12:43 PM on August 19, 2007 [3 favorites]


Martini drinkers don't go to places with martini menus.
Martini drinkers don't go places without stumbling and bumping into things.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:44 PM on August 19, 2007 [6 favorites]


Wolfdog: I don't like to travel


Riiiiiiggghhtttt

posted by popechunk at 12:46 PM on August 19, 2007


gin + vermouth + olive = Martini
gin + vermouth + onion = Gibson
vodka + vermouth + olive = NOT A MARTINI


Marshmallow + chocolate + sugar + flour = fudge jelly (not just a cookie).1

1Sounds like a recipe.2
2It is.

posted by WCityMike at 12:59 PM on August 19, 2007


Not to point out a total derail, but didn't this MartiniTalk thread start out as something entirely different?
posted by Cranberry at 1:00 PM on August 19, 2007


Before this comment, I had no comments in this thread.
posted by The Deej at 1:04 PM on August 19, 2007


Martinis were implied in the original post. Obviously.
posted by agropyron at 1:04 PM on August 19, 2007


well, screw this. And you're going to die, too.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 1:08 PM on August 19, 2007


ericb, I like your grandmother.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:16 PM on August 19, 2007


kentucky martini
posted by pyramid termite at 1:18 PM on August 19, 2007


Next person who says the word "Martini" gets jism in their martini.

Oh, shit.
posted by tehloki at 1:44 PM on August 19, 2007


That would be a Man-tini.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:45 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Well, when you're out of pearl onions...
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 1:55 PM on August 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Wolfdog: "I'm prety sure we've had a 24-hour MeTa-free more than once since November 11th."

This Mac/MTU redux and this invitation to play mafia were posted 24 hours and 46 minutes apart in May. I'm not certain, but I'm pretty sure that was the most recent 24-hour MeTa break.
posted by Plutor at 2:16 PM on August 19, 2007


Seriously, what rocket scientist thought "Hey, tomato juice isn't gross enough, let's add clam juice to it!" Yuck yuck yuck gross icky yuck.

The word "juice" should really be reserved for that which you can squeeze from a fruit or a vegetable.

The liquid that results from squeezing an animal really should have its own identifier.
posted by pineapple at 2:42 PM on August 19, 2007 [3 favorites]


Then there were these two from March.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:44 PM on August 19, 2007


We've had a bunch of 24-hour-free periods, but none that cross all time zones for a long while now, which is how it is measured, by law.
posted by mediareport at 2:52 PM on August 19, 2007


"Really? Plain tonic with a squeeze of lime is a lovely refresher on a hot summer day (and is acceptable in the office, even if two co-workers insisted on tasting it before they'd believe I hadn't put any gin in it)."

Heh. Now it's my turn to reply with "Really?" I like mineral water with lemon, but the quinine's just not my thing without the gin to balance it.

I wonder if I could get Leopold Brothers gin out here...
posted by klangklangston at 2:54 PM on August 19, 2007


I'd just as soon have a Vienna sausage in my Martini, which is to say, not very soon.

Thank you. I now know what it is that I must do with that bacon vodka.

DEAR NOBLE AND ESTEEMED CITIZENS OF EARTH.

IT IS WITH GREAT PLEASURE THAT I MAKE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT.

THE GAME, AS IT IS, IS OVER. THE DAY WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR IS HERE. THE FUTURE IS NOW. YOU CAN ALL GO HOME NOW.

FOR I HAVE INVENTED THE MEATINI.
posted by loquacious at 2:59 PM on August 19, 2007 [3 favorites]


Sorry, loquacious, it's been done already.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:00 PM on August 19, 2007


Here are all of the time it's happened since the beginning of 2006:
14743 and 14742 - 33:07 apart on 17 Aug 2007
14137 and 14136 - 36:46 apart on 05 May 2007
14103 and 14102 - 28:18 apart on 27 Apr 2007
13911 and 13910 - 25:19 apart on 26 Mar 2007
13820 and 13818 - 27:28 apart on 08 Mar 2007
13402 and 13401 - 24:24 apart on 30 Dec 2006
13073 and 13072 - 36:56 apart on 10 Nov 2006
12981 and 12980 - 27:18 apart on 29 Oct 2006
12674 and 12673 - 27:23 apart on 12 Sep 2006
12394 and 12393 - 28:38 apart on 28 Jul 2006
Listing them becomes less and less interesting the farther back you go, since MeTa has become steadily more busy. Here's the number of times any pair of consecutive posts were more than 24 hours apart in each calendar year:
2000 - 102
2001 - 56
2002 - 52
2003 - 97
2004 - 60
2005 - 11
2006 - 5
2007 - 5
And the script I used is here on pastebin.
posted by Plutor at 3:01 PM on August 19, 2007


So, in conclusion,
• This was an utterly unremarkable occurrence
• It was probably a molecularly thin pretense to yap about martinis all along
• I can't help noticing there's no pie here yet
posted by Wolfdog at 3:07 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Wolfdog, you should be more worried about why you threw in the towel on the MC battle so easily.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:10 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


There are two possible answers to that:
1. With two unreturned volleys, I'm not sure you can call it throwing in the towel.
2. Maybe I just got faint and weary. From lack of pie.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:14 PM on August 19, 2007


Because Clamato is Satan's urine?

And all the more delicious for it.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:53 PM on August 19, 2007


Pie. Better hurry, Wolfdog.
posted by ikkyu2 at 4:59 PM on August 19, 2007


Sorry, loquacious, it's been done already.

Burhanistan, my good fellow - from you of all people I would expect it to actually be so if you would bother to tell me that it has been "done".

"Done" implies many things, but none of them should suggest the production values of that half-assed... thing you've placed before me.

It's obvious that they don't even like bacon. Look at that thing. Where'd they pull that slice from, a wilted vending-machine BLT a week past it's due date? Bacon grease!? Tobasco? What the fuck!?

That is not done. That is what should not have been done.

*schemes to get hands on illicit supply of bacon vodka*
posted by loquacious at 5:26 PM on August 19, 2007


I'd just as soon have a Vienna sausage in my Martini,

That sounds vaguely appealing, mainly since I like Vienna sausage and don't care for vermouth, but then again I've drank martinis garnished with slim jims so what the hell do I know?
posted by jonmc at 5:26 PM on August 19, 2007


WHERE THE HELL IS MIGS
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:38 PM on August 19, 2007


Enjoying a mantini, certainly.
posted by Mid at 6:47 PM on August 19, 2007


what the hell do I know?

Enough not to turn down a martini, clearly. I applaud you.
posted by ikkyu2 at 8:57 PM on August 19, 2007


kentucky martini

Goddamn it, now you're making me wish I went to get my weekly bottle of Bulleit and replenish my supply of fresh mint yesterday. And me with a squalling newborn all day who just now finally went down.

Stupid goddamn Southern liquor laws. Like nobody shakes hands with John Barleycorn on the Sabbath.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:52 PM on August 19, 2007


I like the noveltinis if they're good. There's a gauche fucking place here that I won't hang out in for longer than it takes to drink their Key Lime Pie Martini. Vodka, Key Lime simple syrup, a dollop of whipped cream and a graham cracker rim. I like bitch liquor, so sue me.

See? Martinis and Pie are friends.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:06 AM on August 20, 2007


I saw a couple of guys once make a Tunatini: gin, vermouth, and tuna juice.
posted by yeti at 7:20 AM on August 20, 2007


That's nasty. If you're gonna drink canned fish juice at least make it anchovy.
posted by contraption at 8:25 AM on August 20, 2007


Anyone who calls it a "bloody" Caesar (instead of just Caesar) is in no position to be snooty about the names of drinks. :)
posted by sevenyearlurk at 2:02 PM on August 20, 2007


*pounds fork onto the table*

WHERE'S MY KEY LIME PIE?!
posted by deborah at 2:07 PM on August 20, 2007


I ordered an "Old Fashioned" once at a wedding. It was part of my affect. I don't recommend this to you.
posted by Mister_A at 2:51 PM on August 20, 2007


Finally! I can contribute to metatalk!
posted by moonmilk at 5:19 PM on August 20, 2007


Please, people, stop saying martini, I'm running out of jism. And vermouth.
posted by tehloki at 5:50 PM on August 20, 2007 [2 favorites]


MetaTalk: I'm running out of jism.
posted by Mid at 7:14 PM on August 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Okay, so I just went to Bulleit's website, and they have a recipe for bourbon and tonic.

That's crazy. I mean, I loves me some bourbon, and I loves me some G&Ts, but that's...that's unamerican.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:11 PM on August 20, 2007


Quit yer bitching, people.

Forget the bitching. It's time to start counting the days between mass fellatios of Adam Savage.
posted by scarabic at 9:28 PM on August 20, 2007


What, scarabic, you mean we're supposed to wait?
posted by ikkyu2 at 5:09 PM on August 22, 2007


Because Clamato is Satan's urine?

Reminds me of that great line in 30 Rock where Jack Donaghy (played by Alec Baldwin) reads the critique of his wine to a rapper played by LL Cool J.

Jack: Now as you may have read in Robert Parker's wine newsletter "Donaghy Estates tastes like Satan's urine after a hefty portion of asparagus."
posted by junesix at 4:03 PM on August 24, 2007


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