Thank you, Metafilter January 8, 2008 8:23 PM   Subscribe

Sidebar this amazing AskMe, please.

The responses to NorthCoastCafe's wrenching question - including those who were brave enough to share their personal battles with terminal illness - have left me speechless. Thank you, Metafilter.
posted by Space Kitty to MetaFilter-Related at 8:23 PM (23 comments total)

Read, was left agape, flagged as fantastic.
Thanks for pointing it out, I wouldn't have read it otherwise.
posted by heeeraldo at 8:31 PM on January 8, 2008

Yeah, seconding the sidebar. Honestly, I've hardly been able to read it, it's so painful and moving and enlightening - I poke my head in and read one post, then dash out to read something else. Thought about asking for a sidebar, too. Thanks, Space Kitty.

We've got some really amazing people here.
posted by rtha at 8:41 PM on January 8, 2008

Seconding that that's an amazing thread.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:55 PM on January 8, 2008

Agree. So thoughtful and just 'gentle'. Thanks to all who contributed.
posted by pearlybob at 9:20 PM on January 8, 2008

Agreed. This is a touching example of what an amazing community we have.
posted by dejah420 at 9:36 PM on January 8, 2008

Best hat tip ever, Space Kitty.
posted by cashman at 9:51 PM on January 8, 2008

Agreed, agreed, agreed.
posted by katillathehun at 10:00 PM on January 8, 2008

Thank you for this, I would have missed it otherwise. Just.... yeah.
posted by jokeefe at 10:35 PM on January 8, 2008

I don't visit AskMe much so I'm glad this was pointed out, it is an amazing thread that comes at very relevant time for me. I agree, this is sidebar worthy.

"It is now nine fifty eight."
posted by Stunt at 10:44 PM on January 8, 2008

I second the sidebar nomination - I might have missed this thread otherwise.
posted by madamjujujive at 11:12 PM on January 8, 2008

nthed. A wonderful reaffirmation after a difficult week.
posted by Rumple at 11:29 PM on January 8, 2008

Amazingly moving. Thank you to all who made such thoughtful and touching comments. This thread will be of immense help to many of us.
posted by alltomorrowsparties at 12:01 AM on January 9, 2008

Every one needs a hug and a link on the sidebar.
posted by Cranberry at 12:07 AM on January 9, 2008

This is a good idea.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:13 AM on January 9, 2008

Wow. I've gone through a rough couple of days where it seems that I can never say anything right, where my beliefs on friendship were tested, where I questioned myself.

And then I see this thread and superficial of me. This is grace. This is beauty.

Wow. Thank you. wow.
posted by divabat at 4:36 AM on January 9, 2008 [4 favorites]

Agreed and sidebarred.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:47 AM on January 9, 2008

Meanwhile, I had no idea that we had Mefites going through this process themselves....I'm stunned. I've always thought of us as a hale and hearty bunch.

Thanks for that thread, all. It brought back some pretty crazy memories.
posted by nevercalm at 10:51 AM on January 9, 2008

Lovely. Thanks, and may we all find our peace.
posted by Quietgal at 11:49 AM on January 9, 2008

Reading that AskMe made me so goddamn proud to be a member of this infuriating, inexplicable, lovely place.
I am the spring, the holy ground,
the endless seed of mystery,
the thorn, the veil, the face of grace,
the brazen image, the thief of sleep,
the ambassador of dreams, the prince of peace.
I am the sword, the wound, the stain.
Scorned transfigured child of Cain.
I rend, I end, I return.
Again I am the salt, the bitter laugh.
I am the gas in a womb of light, the evening star,
the ball of sight that leads that sheds the tears of Christ
dying and drying as I rise tonight.
--Patti Smith, Easter
*wipes tears away, hugs his mom*
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:35 PM on January 9, 2008 [6 favorites]

Nice one, BitterOldPunk.

I quoted the following at my brother Pato's funeral - he was a non-bitter, young, punk.

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
posted by Sk4n at 5:59 PM on January 9, 2008 [2 favorites]

When I was a kid in high school, my grandmother was dying of liver cancer. I remember visiting her in the hospital and sitting at her bedside. She had dark brown French eyes, the same eyes that I have. I held my Grammie’s hand and looked into her eyes, and she smiled at me. Something passed between us, together. I knew it was the last time I would ever see her alive.

My mom was so frantic that I made her go out with me for a while to take a break. The next morning, my Grammie had passed on. I think my mom couldn’t let her go, so she had to be distracted; I think the living can hang onto the dying.

My Grammie taught me how to crochet with thread and make it into lace, and she had a little hardcover book in her sewing basket entitled, “The Patchwork Girl of Oz.” That was how I got introduced to fantasy fiction.

That and 90 degree temperatures, nappy covered maroon couches, cuckoo clocks, console TV tuned to Lawrence Welk, the little Dutch girl and boy coming in and out to the temperature, Bakelite nightlights, bread boxes, a chest full of mysterious things, and someone who loved me no matter what.

Now I’m a grannie (ALBEIT A YOUNG GRANNIE, MIND YOU), and my daughter calls me every day. At the end of each call, she says, “love you.”

“And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make.” I think it’s so important to recognize and teach our young people that death is a part of life and to include them in the rituals and ceremonies thereof. I am so happy that I sat by my Grammie’s side and took her hand in her last moments. I like to think she is watching over me.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:13 PM on January 9, 2008 [4 favorites]

We are a community and anyone who says otherwise can piss off.
posted by deborah at 11:17 PM on January 10, 2008

We are a community and anyone who says otherwise can piss off.
posted by deborah at 1:17 AM on January 11


Mefi's membership of 60,000+ is larger than most small cities.

I think our "city" could use a new subsection. or similar, perhaps? An area for those seeking support on life issues such as terminal illness, addiction, grief, etc? Basically, an area for ad hoc support groups.

That there are people who are terminal and decide to spend some of their precious time seeking out the company of others here on Mefi I think says a great deal about us, and people in general.

Yes, participation might be small, but so is participation on music and jobs. It doesn't make either any less valid.
posted by Ynoxas at 1:21 PM on January 11, 2008

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