Amazed at no FPP on McCain's epic gaff

August 21, 2008 8:37 PM

You know, I get as sick as anybody over every minor story about the U.S. presidential election getting posted to the Blue, and I know the mods are trying to keep the quality of posts up, but it [i]still[/i] surprised me to go there tonight and find NO DISCUSSION of what history could very well define as THE important turning point in this election: John McCain's not knowing how many houses he owns. This on the heels of his definition of $5 million as defining "rich". Could no one draft a decent FPP about it, or has it been decided that this story isn't going on the Blue no matter what? If so, one has to wonder: why?
posted by spock to MetaFilter-Related at 8:37 PM (321 comments total)

Doh. BBcode brain fart.
posted by spock at 8:37 PM on August 21, 2008

I'm sorry, spock...normally, I would bow to your cold Vulcan logic, but I really think that this is THE important turning point in this election.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:39 PM on August 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

...checks kfb's location. Virginia. Mystery solved.
: )
posted by spock at 8:41 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Every single thing that has happened in this election so far has been THE TURNING POINT OMGZ. There were people who said Obama's speech on race was of the same importance of MLK's I Have a Dream, and now how much are we talking about it? Give me a break.
posted by 0xFCAF at 8:46 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

It's being discussed on PoliticalFilter.
posted by sveskemus at 8:48 PM on August 21, 2008 [7 favorites]

Um, whether or not this is a good post for MeFi, maybe we should wait and see if the gaffe actually has any consequences before declaring it to be OMG BIGGEST TURNING POINT EVAR?
posted by nasreddin at 8:50 PM on August 21, 2008

Yeah, and nobody remembers George Herbert Walker Bush not knowing the price of a gallon of milk either, do they? There is out of touch and then there is out of touch.
posted by spock at 8:51 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

You know how many mansions you own? Who let the riff-raff in here?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:51 PM on August 21, 2008 [9 favorites]

Speaking only for myself here, I am very happy that we're not wasting front page real estate on an ephemeral news blip such as this one.

And if that's because the mods have been deleting the weak-sauce "OMG!!!!eleven MUST BE THE FIRST ONE TO POST THIS TO METAFILTER!!!!!1!13!!! posts, then good for the mods.

Thanks, guys!
posted by jason's_planet at 8:51 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

We all own homes that we forget about from time to time. I don't see the big deal.
posted by ColdChef at 8:51 PM on August 21, 2008 [12 favorites]

and then Matt deleted it all...

You know the rules.

spock, either make the damn post or root around and find an actual deleted post. This attempted back door at discussing this election trivia of the moment isn't the answer.
posted by nanojath at 8:52 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Just to throw my two cents in, speaking as someone who is not following every twist and turn of the news about Obama/McCain, I fail to see how this is any more interesting or significant that the other minutia that we have more or less agreed to bar from the front page. Perhaps I am just being dense. In any case, if I saw an FPP built around this issue, I would cringe and skip it.
posted by prefpara at 8:52 PM on August 21, 2008

Plutocrat very rich: film at eleven.
posted by pompomtom at 8:54 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

Also, straight-up, it's news, right? Not something cool on the internet? MeFi != CNN.
posted by prefpara at 8:54 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Um, whether or not this is a good post for MeFi, maybe we should wait and see if the gaffe actually has any consequences before declaring it to be OMG BIGGEST TURNING POINT EVAR?

OK. But can we at least have a placeholder on the front page that "on this date, nothing politically significant in the Presidential election happened" signed by the mods?
posted by spock at 8:56 PM on August 21, 2008

All right. I feel better now. Thanks fellas. See ya after the timeout.
posted by spock at 8:57 PM on August 21, 2008

the fuck?
posted by danb at 9:02 PM on August 21, 2008

Doesn't seem like there's much more to say, except LOLRICHWHITEGUY.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:03 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Oh good grief.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:06 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Tagging your own post with MODS DELETE NOW is just asking for a paddlin'.
posted by baphomet at 9:07 PM on August 21, 2008

You're not impressing me with your so-called famous vulcan logic.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:07 PM on August 21, 2008 [5 favorites]

Spock, it's a crappy grudgefilter post. If you wanted a well-crafted Metafilter post, why didn't you write it? It's a pretty interesting story, but who do you expect to write the thoughtful post if you don't? and the Nothing-to-see-here-move-along title just makes it impossible for it to be taken seriously.
posted by theora55 at 9:08 PM on August 21, 2008

I was going to go to bed, but this will be good.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:12 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

There's no evidence of that, Captain.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:13 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

I guarantee you there have been a lot better posts than mine deleted, so why waste the effort. Delete it and make my point. Don't delete it and let us discuss it. Their call.
posted by spock at 9:13 PM on August 21, 2008

Metafilter alternatively, my life: I was going to go to bed, but this will be good.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:14 PM on August 21, 2008

Very META
posted by spock at 9:15 PM on August 21, 2008

OK. But can we at least have a placeholder on the front page that "on this date, nothing politically significant in the Presidential election happened" signed by the mods?

spock, your post-as-a-half-assed-attempt-at-provocation sucked so bad that it tore the fabric of the universe and made the angels weep.

signed,

jason's_planet
posted by jason's_planet at 9:15 PM on August 21, 2008

You made two posts, framed with insults against the mods, expecting some sort of smart commentary. All you've proven is that you're an idiot.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:16 PM on August 21, 2008

Checking deletedthread.blogspot.com reveals no one submitted this yet. So EPIC FAIL. Why didn't you go find a crappy politics of the day blog or make a decent post.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:18 PM on August 21, 2008

Ow. Ouch! Ow-ow.
posted by spock at 9:18 PM on August 21, 2008

THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:18 PM on August 21, 2008

Oh, I forgot to call you an asshole.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:19 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

The mods work with the NSA to make sure they covered their tracks.
posted by spock at 9:20 PM on August 21, 2008

Banning him now would just be playing into his hands. There's no other choice but to apply reverse psychology and make spock a moderator.

You still around, spock? 'Cause I still want to know, are you actually, as it appears, just assuming nobody made an actual valid attempt at posting this that was deleted? I'd think you'd provide a link if you had. Because if you haven't gone to the trouble of looking for a deleted link (it's not hard, you just have to be able to count) then it would seem like the conclusion is that you can't be assed to do a little cursory digging around the front page or to make a credible attempt to craft this item into a worth front page post, but you're perfectly willing to take a dump in the blue because apparently you feel like you're not shouting loud enough here? Or to put it another way

1. Post an irate MetaTalk about censorship
2. Don't bother to wait for any moderator input on the topic or anything
3. Create a crappy FPP that is bound to be deleted.

You're doing it wrong
posted by nanojath at 9:20 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Let me do my Fort Hayes State debate coach imitation on you, Brother Caine!
posted by spock at 9:20 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

This McCain guy has style.
posted by peeedro at 9:20 PM on August 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

By the way, I dunno who runs politicalfilter, but pleeeease let me do a design pass on it! (unless you're married to the colour scheme, in which case never mind) Pretty please? I just finished my latest vanity project and I'm looking for something to mess around with...
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:20 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

This attempted back door at discussing this election trivia of the moment...

I am a backdoor man
I am a backdoor man
Well the men don't know
but the little girls understand...

-Howlin' Wolf
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:20 PM on August 21, 2008

Spock a mod? Deletion is my SUPERPOWER!
posted by spock at 9:21 PM on August 21, 2008

This mod was on the phone for the last half an hour. Wow, that was one of the worst posts I've seen from someone who should know better.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:21 PM on August 21, 2008

stav, Brandon Blatcher does politicalfilter.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:21 PM on August 21, 2008

I am a bad person.
posted by spock at 9:21 PM on August 21, 2008

Jessamyn said so, so it must be true.
posted by spock at 9:22 PM on August 21, 2008

It's official: spock is a bad person.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:22 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

The mods work with the NSA to make sure they covered their tracks.

I thought the forward somersault was the preferred way of not leaving tracks.
posted by peeedro at 9:22 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Also, sorry spock, but lofi shows no deleted posts on THIS VERY IMPORTANT TOPIC.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:22 PM on August 21, 2008

THE WORST THE WORST THE WORST THE WORST THE WORST THE WORST THE WORST THE WORST THE WORST
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:23 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

stav, Brandon Blatcher does politicalfilter.

Thanks, jess. Maybe I'll memail him if he doesn't show up here.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:23 PM on August 21, 2008

Let me do my Fort Hayes State debate coach imitation on you, Brother Caine!

If you had put half as much wit and effort into your post as you did that comment, I wouldn't have a beef with you.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:23 PM on August 21, 2008

Really? You want to flame out over this? So far McCain's comments have done worse for your reputation than they have for his.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:23 PM on August 21, 2008 [7 favorites]

I always WANTED to be a bad person. What other schennanegans do you think I can get into? This could be my SPRINGBOARD!
posted by spock at 9:24 PM on August 21, 2008

Let me do my Fort Hayes State debate coach imitation on you, Brother Caine!

Since this is already a totally bizarre thread, a spelling correction can't be too much of a derail. So, for the record, it's Fort Hays State.
posted by amyms at 9:29 PM on August 21, 2008

fuck all this - i want lula cortes and ze ramalho to run for pres and v pres
posted by pyramid termite at 9:32 PM on August 21, 2008

Here's a good shenanigan: Find one of your comments in a deleted thread, then favorite it and unfavorite it until you reach the daily favorites limit (yeah, it doesn't subtract from the limit counter if you undo a favorite). If you then wait until the daily counter gets reset, then favorite the comment again, N will be added to your total favorite count, where N is the daily favorite limit (I forget what it is).

Happy hax!
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:33 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

What other schennanegans do you think I can get into?

Would you mind flaming out? Please? We haven't had a good flameout in a REAL long time.
posted by grouse at 9:35 PM on August 21, 2008

spock, you should have called yourself "smock." Then we would all have the joy of saying "Smock. Smock smock smock smock smock."
posted by evilcolonel at 9:35 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

The moral of this cautionary tale: all of you who are interested in politics and decry the deletion of political posts, head to politicalfilter and sign up. There's only 50 or so people right now.
posted by zardoz at 9:36 PM on August 21, 2008

Find one of your comments in a deleted thread, then favorite it and unfavorite it until you

keel over from carpal tunnel - you must have to put a pencil in your mouth and peck at the keyboard by now, steve
posted by pyramid termite at 9:38 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

cannot flag hard enough....
posted by fixedgear at 9:39 PM on August 21, 2008

Look, I'm gonna be up half the night waiting to watch Deontay Wilder's match in the Olympic heavyweight boxing semis, so I'm quite prepared to sit here until someone flames out disgracefully.

And I have plenty of snacks.

*eats Cap'n Crunch straight from the box, waits expectantly*
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:47 PM on August 21, 2008

Straight from the box? Damn, BOP, you are so hardcore. Totally cool.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:48 PM on August 21, 2008

Whenever I start feeling whiny and melodramatic I just go have a little lie down for a while. That usually clears it up.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:51 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

"John McCain can't possibly understand my problems - he doesn't know what it's like to be summer home-less."
posted by milkrate at 9:51 PM on August 21, 2008

Jeez, spock, please don't do something like that again.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:52 PM on August 21, 2008

McCain is hoping that one of his houses is involved in a hurricane or tornado or wildfire or foreclosure or something so he'll look sympathetic and have zingers for the debates. I can just see him poking through the rubble and spotting his old penny farthing in a melted iron heap. He nods and shies away from the camera, plucking away tears. "It wasn't just a house... There was a home here, once."

(He's old.)
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:53 PM on August 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

I always WANTED to be a bad person. What other schennanegans do you think I can get into?

Stop shaving and find out.
posted by evil, goateed spock at 9:53 PM on August 21, 2008 [17 favorites]

I have only a vague idea of how much a gallon of milk cost. Less than $5??? I doubt my Dad has much of an idea either. Does that mean we're rich and out of touch. If so, could someone clue me into where I we have stashed our fortune? Next to the milk???

McCain's wife is a multi-millionaire. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know much about a good number of her assets. My ex-wife was well off and I purposely remained clueless about her assets. I didn't feel they were mine even though some legally were.

This "doesn't know how many houses he has" issue is manufactured news. Complete BS. Let me know when there is solid evidence that either Obama or McCain has been screwing the family pet.
posted by Carbolic at 9:54 PM on August 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

Also, take it easy on Spock. He's obviously in heat, otherwise he wouldn't be so impulsive. I, for one, would lovingly fight you to the death if it's vulcan mayhem you want.
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:56 PM on August 21, 2008

I didn't even know how much a gallon is.

(about 3.8l, apparently...)
posted by pompomtom at 9:57 PM on August 21, 2008 [4 favorites]

^^^^Best five bucks spent ever1
posted by fixedgear at 9:59 PM on August 21, 2008

What other schennanegans do you think I can get into?

Stop shaving and find out.

I think you mean "schaveng", no?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:59 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

It must be frustrating to be able to dissect the fossilized cowardice of the MetaFilter patriarchy so effortlessly, while the moderators aren't even perceptive enough to recognize the scope of the threat you pose to their thinly-rationalized dictatorship of mediocrity.

RON PAUL 2008!!!!
posted by gsteff at 10:00 PM on August 21, 2008

I didn't even know how much a gallon is.

it's about 4 sloops or 8 yawls
posted by pyramid termite at 10:01 PM on August 21, 2008

flapkax -- it's crunchberries, too. TOLE U I WUZ HARDCORE
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:01 PM on August 21, 2008

*gently takes spock by the elbow and leads him down to the beach*

Dude? Eat this. You can wash it down with this.

*hands spock a brownie and a cold beer*

Shh. Just watch the waves, man. Watch the waves. Everything is going to be ok.
posted by loquacious at 10:04 PM on August 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

prefpara writes "I fail to see how this is any more interesting or significant that the other minutia that we have more or less agreed to bar from the front page."

'Cause it's a two-fer McCain helpfully made a three-fer:
1. He's very rich, and out of touch with the common man
2. He's very old, too old to even remember how many houses he owns
and 3. His campaign came back and actually said, well, but John McCain spent five and a half years in just one house, that's right, the Hanoi Hilton POW camp. Which makes them look like manipulative jerks.
posted by orthogonality at 10:04 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

There were people who said Obama's speech on race was of the same importance of MLK's I Have a Dream, and now how much are we talking about it?

And whose fault is that?
posted by Malor at 10:08 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

flapkax -- it's crunchberries, too. TOLE U I WUZ HARDCORE

Eh, lightweight. The real cereal junkies take their Cap'n Crunch, coat it in butter and brown sugar and bake it into crunchy, sugary granola*. Just nibbling on it out of the box? Chipper.

You want to prove you're hardcore? Upend a large box into a bowl of frosting, cover it in fudge syrup and peanut butter, add NO MILK or MILK SUBSTITUTES and start shoveling it in with a large mixing spoon.**

*I HAVE ACTUALLY DONE THIS. AVOID. PLEASE BE OBSERVING A DISTINCT LACK OF CERTAIN TEETH.

**I HAVE ALSO DONE THIS AND HAVE NO SHAME. TODAY I BOUGHT OATMEAL CREME PIES AND NUTTER BUTTERS. DON'T FUCK WITH ME, I'LL EAT EM, I SWEAR TO DOG!
posted by loquacious at 10:11 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

it's about 4 sloops or 8 yawls

Yawl don't know what you're tawkin' about.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:13 PM on August 21, 2008

this just in - "jam conch in" is an amagram of john mccain, so he must have a house in key west - you heard it here first
posted by pyramid termite at 10:13 PM on August 21, 2008

orthogonality, thanks for trying to explain the significance of this event to me. I'm not sure I understand why "McCain does stupid thing" makes for a good FPP, even when that thing is triple-stupid, but it may just be my (perhaps pathological) inability to find any of this even mildly interesting.
posted by prefpara at 10:14 PM on August 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

anagram - oh, goddam ...
posted by pyramid termite at 10:17 PM on August 21, 2008

GO BACKWARDS! GO BACKWARDS!

GO BACKWARDS!
posted by localhuman at 10:20 PM on August 21, 2008

I've been getting pretty annoyed by the one link news item posts - I can find news anywhere! In fact, try not to see what's going on in the news, it's darn near impossible. I come here to find things that are cool and then talk about them. I can talk about the news in the checkout line at the grocery store. Please, just stop it.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 10:27 PM on August 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

I didn't even know how much a gallon is.

American or European?
posted by Mitheral at 10:30 PM on August 21, 2008

But then we wouldn't get all this intelligent commentary that Spock was supposedly looking for. It's not like you can get talk about hardcore crunchberries at the checkout line of the grocery store, now can you?
posted by Dave Faris at 10:30 PM on August 21, 2008

I am so sick of the incredibly trivial election coverage that I'd planned to vote for Subcomandante Marcos for president.

But I just have to say that peeedro's link to pictures of John Mccain's house has decided me.

I cannot allow my country to be run by a man who could own a house decorated in such a fashion. This balloon valance in particular shocks and horrifies me. What sort of soulless nightmare of poor judgment could walk into a room over which he presumably has some control and not rip that puffy blue thing down immediately?! Especially in combination with that chair and that fireplace?!

So thanks, Metafilter. I have made my voting decision based on this incredibly important information.
posted by winna at 10:36 PM on August 21, 2008 [7 favorites]

Does anybody use European gallons? (real question!)
posted by pompomtom at 10:36 PM on August 21, 2008

this just in - "jam conch in" is an amagram of john mccain, so he must have a house in key west - you heard it here first

That sounds to me more as if he'd be likely to engage in backdoor shenanigans! Or at the very least, bestiality!

Surely not suitable behaviour for a President.
posted by h00py at 10:37 PM on August 21, 2008

I am a bad person.

Horsepucky, I'm of the belief that there are no bad children.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:38 PM on August 21, 2008

and 3. His campaign came back and actually said, well, but John McCain spent five and a half years in just one house, that's right, the Hanoi Hilton POW camp. Which makes them look like manipulative jerks.

No, you forgot the best part. The entire focus of his campaign has been on trying to crystallize Obama's character as a flash-in-the-pan celebrity. By putting attention on actual wealth, the fact that Obama earned his mansion by being smart and writing well is going to get put up against the fact that McCain got his 7-10 mansions by divorcing his first wife and marrying wealth.

This gaffe, if played right by the Obama team, totally fucking the strategy of his campaign over the last 3 weeks. His advisors know it, which is why they're playing the Rezko card now. I'll bet it was in their deck for an October surprise. I promise you, Steve Schmidt is crying blood right now.

happy now, spock?
posted by felix betachat at 10:42 PM on August 21, 2008 [4 favorites]

I can talk about the news in the checkout line at the grocery store.

Well, I can't. And therefore I sometimes enjoy talking about the news in a MetaFilter thread. What, this site is supposed to be tailored to your personal likes and dislikes?

Please, just stop it.

Please, just stop telling people how to post. There's plenty of different kinds of FPPs on the blue. Just ignore the news ones if they bother you so much. Simple, no?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:43 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

(...totally fucking unravels...)

smart. i go to erase the unnecessary modifier and kill the verb instead.
posted by felix betachat at 10:44 PM on August 21, 2008

But does he know the price of milk to stock enough for each of his houses?
posted by Kloryne at 10:47 PM on August 21, 2008

Damn. It is serious. McCain's campaign just this very second leaked the name of his VP. They're desperate to fill this news cycle with noise.
posted by felix betachat at 10:49 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

There are known knowns. There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we now know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we do not know we don’t know. Like not knowing the price of milk for what is known to be an unknown number of known mansions.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:50 PM on August 21, 2008

Does anybody use European gallons?

Russians. It's the standard unit for measuring a nip of vodka in a bar.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:53 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

It is so much quicker to just email the mods and ask for a time out. I guess the whole routine is way more enjoyable when it's every now and then, but once you get addicted that shit eats up valuable time you can be griefing in counterstrike or something. Maybe next time just take the shortcut.
posted by Stunt at 10:55 PM on August 21, 2008

"You know, I get as sick as anybody over every minor story about the U.S. presidential election getting posted to the Blue..."

This is how we polluted the Blue with political posts when the Australian election was on last year. Take a hint, yanks!
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:14 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

Australia? Is that even a state yet?
posted by felix betachat at 11:15 PM on August 21, 2008

Australia? Is that even a state yet?

A state of beer-deprivation, at 4:30 on a friday afternoon...
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:19 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

Good god!! Quick, somebody get Ubu a beer!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:24 PM on August 21, 2008

yeah! i'm like that abandoned whale calf right now...energy failing...life draining out...
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:31 PM on August 21, 2008

UbuRoivas: "yeah! i'm like that abandoned whale calf right now...energy failing...life draining out..."

Euthanized?
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:39 PM on August 21, 2008

I poured a Coopers stout at 4 sharp.
posted by Wolof at 11:39 PM on August 21, 2008

Seven houses and a fourplex, just not all at the same time. (Not McCainist)
posted by Cranberry at 11:41 PM on August 21, 2008

Dear AskMe, what's the best way to get to Russia on a thirsty Friday arvo....
posted by pompomtom at 11:42 PM on August 21, 2008

Euthanized?

Is that the same thing as drinking a XXXX out of desperation?
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:45 PM on August 21, 2008

In Soviet Russia, AskMe comes to you!
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:45 PM on August 21, 2008

Big deal. I don't know how many pairs of shoes I own, and houses are like shoes in McCain Dollars. Being in touch with the average American is all relative, you see.
posted by katillathehun at 11:52 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

You don't drink XXXX out of desperation, uburoivas. You drink it out of a cut-off plastic 2L milk bottle, held around your neck by string.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 11:53 PM on August 21, 2008 [3 favorites]

Sorry about the XXXX faux pas. It's been a while since I was last in Ipswich.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:57 PM on August 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

***IT"S BEER O'CLOCK***

gotta run, all. i'm off to the opera house tonight, and only have four hours to get adequately tanked up before the performance.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:02 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

*hands spock a brownie and a cold beer*

Shh. Just watch the waves, man. Watch the waves. Everything is going to be ok.
posted by loquacious at 10:04 PM on August 21

Dude, I need to hang out with loquacious more often.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:06 AM on August 22, 2008

Now we know why Vulcans don't drink.
posted by dirigibleman at 12:09 AM on August 22, 2008

katillathehun writes "I don't know how many pairs of shoes I own, and houses are like shoes in McCain Dollars."

*Reflects that I know exactly how many pairs of shoes I own; feels very poor.*
posted by Mitheral at 12:28 AM on August 22, 2008

the blue has been bland as of late, but confirmation that McPrisoner has lost touch with regular folks is not enough to cure that
posted by caddis at 1:06 AM on August 22, 2008

I think John McCain can be forgiven for forgetting how many houses he has. His House looks like the result of taking a bunch of acid and getting lost in that creepy half-empty discount mall out by the Indian Casino.

The very thought of John popping a couple Viagra while Cindy polishes of the last of the box wine out by the Hot Tub makes me want to forget all kinds of things.

If any of the other houses look that terrible, He should probably tell people he lives in a Days Inn out by the airport.
posted by billyfleetwood at 1:10 AM on August 22, 2008 [17 favorites]

An eternal curse on you, billyfleetwood, for that last comment.
posted by Wolof at 1:55 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

This McCain guy has style.

Dude that "mansion" is so fucking tacky.
posted by grobstein at 2:27 AM on August 22, 2008

Okay - I feel stupid. What are we talking about here?

USA politics is fucking confusing enough without some obscure reference to something that we should apparently be discussing on the blue but have to do 100+ comments on the gray instead.

I say: bring back Bill Clinton - because having young interns blow the leader of the free world in the Oval Office is how it should be.

It's good to be the king...
posted by Samuel Farrow at 2:41 AM on August 22, 2008

MY FRIENDS, THAT'S NOT REAL ESTATE WE CAN BELIEVE IN!
posted by trondant at 2:42 AM on August 22, 2008 [10 favorites]

Okay - I feel stupid. What are we talking about here?

Nothing. It's all been censored by evil metamcain forces.

Or something.
posted by pompomtom at 3:32 AM on August 22, 2008

it's about 4 sloops or 8 yawls

pick reason to flag: offensive/sexist/racist




/inventing fictitious sex- and/or racist terms
posted by Hat Maui at 3:47 AM on August 22, 2008

lolOstians
posted by Eideteker at 3:57 AM on August 22, 2008

Pony request: can we please please please be allowed to favorite deletion reasons?
posted by oaf at 4:13 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

history could very well define as THE important turning point in this election

Let's give it a few minutes to see if history is starting to think that and then post.
posted by DU at 5:01 AM on August 22, 2008

I wonder why we can't have more FPPs on the 9/11 conspiracy theories, the faked moon landings, and how exciting ron paul is. also, lolcats.
posted by jenkinsEar at 5:03 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

out of touch with the common man

if ever there was a manufactured, non-existing abstraction, common man is it.
posted by quonsar at 5:13 AM on August 22, 2008 [3 favorites]

You have five dollars. Do you

(a) Buy a gallon of milk -or-
(b) Join Metafilter?
posted by lukemeister at 5:24 AM on August 22, 2008

Especially since nowadays the common man may also be a little fuzzy on exactly how many houses he owns.
posted by smackfu at 5:27 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

This story is being widely portrayed as McCain being out of touch, but I think there's a deeper and more substantive point (made by Obama himself): Of course a man who has 8 houses and thinks $4.9 million/yr is middle class is going to think the economy is doing great. McCain wants us nobodies to stop whining and get back to making him money.
posted by DU at 5:32 AM on August 22, 2008

Must stop sleeping!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:36 AM on August 22, 2008

(Oh and for the hat trick: AND thinks that $50/hr is a poverty level income that any decent American would refuse.)
posted by DU at 5:37 AM on August 22, 2008

McCain wants us nobodies to stop whining and get back to making him money.

That's why Americans must come together and drink more Budweiser.
posted by lukemeister at 5:41 AM on August 22, 2008

I sort of lost track of how many bikes I own, sorry.
posted by fixedgear at 5:41 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

Is this the guy who lost track of how many kids he has?
posted by R. Mutt at 5:48 AM on August 22, 2008

By putting attention on actual wealth, the fact that Obama earned his mansion by being smart and writing well is going to get put up against the fact that McCain got his 7-10 mansions by cheating on his first wife who waited on him for years during the war but then got disfigured in a car accident and then divorcing her and marrying wealth.

McCain is so old his first wife crashed into a TELEGRAPH POLE.
posted by inigo2 at 5:48 AM on August 22, 2008 [10 favorites]

inigo2,

If only McCain had married the knife-wielding floozy ‘Marie, the Flame of Florida’.
posted by lukemeister at 5:54 AM on August 22, 2008

"Cindy McCain sprained her wrist. Doctors say it's nothing serious -- she probably did it cutting John McCain's meat into little tiny pieces." --Craig Ferguson
posted by R. Mutt at 5:57 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I also have lost track of the number of shoes that I own. If I had to hazard a guess, I would go with "many." Possibly "quite a few."
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:07 AM on August 22, 2008

You have five dollars. Do you

(a) Buy a gallon of milk -or-
(b) Join Metafilter?

The candidates are so out of touch, they don't even know how much a MeFi membership costs!
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 6:17 AM on August 22, 2008

Is this the guy who lost track of how many kids he has?

You are making the common mistake of confusing him with Flavor Flav.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:18 AM on August 22, 2008 [6 favorites]

Flav is the one without the combover
posted by matteo at 6:39 AM on August 22, 2008

You have five dollars. Do you

(a) Buy a gallon of milk -or-
(b) Join Metafilter?

actually, (c) put a towel on the floor by the two inch gap under the door; now they can't see the politicsfilter anymore
posted by prefpara at 6:40 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

(the easiest way to tell them apart is that Flavour Flav wears an oversized pocket watch around his neck)
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:48 AM on August 22, 2008

No, that does't quite work, as McCain's watch has oversize numbers on it too.
posted by R. Mutt at 6:51 AM on August 22, 2008 [4 favorites]

You are making the common mistake of confusing him with Flavor Flav.

Don't believe the hype.
posted by Pax at 7:00 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

Joined: November 18, 2004

Oh fuck no, no.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:00 AM on August 22, 2008

I can't remember how many apartments I'm renting.
posted by desjardins at 7:02 AM on August 22, 2008 [3 favorites]

I think you mean "schaveng", no?

I think you're confusing this with the sound an erection makes when it gets slapped.

Schavennnnnng!!!

Or does that just happen in 1960's Mad magazine
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:04 AM on August 22, 2008

Cindy McCain sprained her wrist. Doctors say it's nothing serious -- she probably did it cutting John McCain's meat into little tiny pieces.

no wonder he's looked so annoyed and impotent lately
posted by pyramid termite at 7:06 AM on August 22, 2008

So I have a question and an observation.

Q: This wife of McCain's, I can't tell. Is she:

a) Trophy
b) Post-intense-plastic-surgery
c) Both a and b?

O: Man, I thought I could be an asshole. Spock has raised the bar, I tell you what.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:08 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

Schavennnnnng!!!

No, no, Peter. That's one of those Dutch seaside towns, near den Haag.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:08 AM on August 22, 2008

Schavennnnnng!!! is the sound of Mitt Romney counting his houses.
posted by R. Mutt at 7:12 AM on August 22, 2008

Joined: November 18, 2004

Oh fuck no, no.

wait, who?
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:19 AM on August 22, 2008

Schavennnnnng!!! is the sound of Mitt Romney counting his houses wives.

HAH! MORMON JOKE FTW!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:19 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

Q: This wife of McCain's, I can't tell. Is she:

a) Trophy
b) Post-intense-plastic-surgery
c) Both a and b?
d) A Robot made from ironing boards and mops.

D?
posted by cashman at 7:22 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

Schavennnnnng!!!

It might be one of the sounds that Cindy McCain makes when she's really, really tweaking?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:24 AM on August 22, 2008

In a van DOWN BY THE RIVER! with wifi
posted by Sailormom at 7:27 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

You bring up an important point. I would not have sex with Cindy McCain. And there is very little on earth I would not have sex with. Very little. Hillary during Bill's tenure: sure. Laura: okay I can do that. Michelle: no question. There hasn't been a first lady that I would not have sex with since Barbara Bush. Do we really want to go back to those days? Think about it America.
posted by ND¢ at 7:31 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

Q: This wife of McCain's, I can't tell. Is she:

a) Trophy
b) Post-intense-plastic-surgery
c) Both a and b?
d) A Robot made from ironing boards and mops.

D?

Ahhh. Well that makes more sense.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:34 AM on August 22, 2008

Jeez, spock, please don't do something like that again.

That seems kind of a mild response to someone deliberately fucking with the site.
posted by languagehat at 7:36 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

I've got an idea. How about since Cindy McCain's appearance and whether you would have sex with her has zero to do with her husband's presidential bid, you give it a break on that shit?
posted by hydropsyche at 7:39 AM on August 22, 2008 [6 favorites]

Oh shit. I forgot we aren't supposed to talk about whether we would have sex with a woman or not. My bad. Women should be judged on their accomplishments and just because a woman is in the public eye does not mean that she is fodder for a bunch of sweaty nerds to debate on whether they would or would not have sex with her. Sorry everybody. I just forgot. Comment withdrawn.

On preview, well now that I have been called out on it I don't feel like apologizing anymore.
posted by ND¢ at 7:40 AM on August 22, 2008

hydro.. I'm gay, so objectifying women isn't really something that's in my world. I was alluding to the fact that the 'family values' guy is divorced and married to a woman who is essentially a trophy wife.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:42 AM on August 22, 2008

So, just to sum up, withdrawal of comment withdrawn, with the right reserved to re-withdraw once my blood goes down.
posted by ND¢ at 7:42 AM on August 22, 2008

To be fair, McCain is a robot made of swiffers and diswasher parts. And speaking of that, I'd love to see McCain do the robot. Yes I know his arm issues are war injuries. Still wouldn't make it any less awesome.
posted by cashman at 7:42 AM on August 22, 2008

I'd hit ND¢
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:43 AM on August 22, 2008

Don't worry ND¢, I'd still vote for you.
posted by booticon at 7:45 AM on August 22, 2008

I'd hit ND¢

FUCK

6 days man...6 days! we were so close!!
posted by cashman at 7:46 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

That's why Americans must come together and drink more Budweiser.

Isnt' Budweiser a Belgian beer?
posted by Mister_A at 7:47 AM on August 22, 2008

VOTE OBAMA
ND¢ WOULD NOT HAVE SEX WITH THE OTHER GUY'S WIFE
posted by yhbc at 7:47 AM on August 22, 2008

Omigod were we really withing six days? Are we never going to see cooter on MetaFilter?
posted by Mister_A at 7:48 AM on August 22, 2008

There has already been a thread about whether other mefites would or would not have sex with me, and the general consensus was no.
posted by ND¢ at 7:48 AM on August 22, 2008

I would really be excited to find out that this thread doesn't turn into an unchecked series of jokes about Cindy McCain's looks/fuckability. I'm no fan, but for god's sake.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:50 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

6 days man...6 days! we were so close!!

oh, c'mon! that didn't count. i meant i'd boff him on the noggin, obviously.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:51 AM on August 22, 2008

We've already shifted gears into how many yawls of mead it would take to get wasted enough to screw ND¢.
posted by Mister_A at 7:51 AM on August 22, 2008

That seems kind of a mild response to someone deliberately fucking with the site.

Jessamyn did all the heavy lifting already by the time I got here, and spock had been persona non spazza for a half hour by then. I'm guessing he was chilled out or hitting the sack and wasn't planning further (stupid, stupid) hijinx, so hey.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:53 AM on August 22, 2008

You know who's hot? Orrin Hatch.
posted by Mister_A at 7:56 AM on August 22, 2008

We've already shifted gears into how many yawls of mead it would take to get wasted enough to screw ND¢.

When making your decision, please bear in mind that I am demonstrably fertile, know several moves, and can boff noggins all night long.
posted by ND¢ at 7:56 AM on August 22, 2008

Isn't Budweiser a Belgian beer?

Yeah Boy!
posted by lukemeister at 7:56 AM on August 22, 2008

Made Man: How Cindy Hensley invented John McCain
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 7:56 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

I would really be excited to find out that this thread doesn't turn into an unchecked series of jokes about Cindy McCain's looks/fuckability.

John McCain is the enemy, and anyone who associates with him is also the enemy. Since we're liberal computer-users, we're not exactly going to kill John and rape his wife, Viking-style, so instead we'll just mock his gaffs and make sexist jokes about his wife.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 7:57 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I would really be excited to find out that this thread doesn't turn into an unchecked series of jokes about Cindy McCain's looks/fuckability.

Well, I've never seen a photo of her, so I can't comment. The newspapers here are full of nothing but Miranda Kerr these days.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:59 AM on August 22, 2008

Omigod were we really withing six days? Are we never going to see cooter on MetaFilter?

Never.
posted by Pax at 8:02 AM on August 22, 2008

DEATH GRIP!

DEATH GRIP!

DEATH GRIP!

(nerve pinch)
posted by Sys Rq at 8:08 AM on August 22, 2008

UbuRoivas said: "Well, I've never seen a photo of her, so I can't comment. The newspapers here are full of nothing but Miranda Kerr these days."


You're welcome.
posted by booticon at 8:09 AM on August 22, 2008

Why don't we talk about the fuckability of John McCain or Barack Obama, instead? Actually, it's pretty much no contest - Obama, totally doable; McCain, not so much. Bill Clinton, yeah, I could see it; W, absolutely not, not even when he was younger and fucked up enough to somewhat blur his outlines. I mean, those ears, my god, you'd end up grabbing onto one by mistake and he'd yell out and you'd be all, ooops, sorry and then, you know, just fixate on those ears and not be able to think about anything else and meanwhile, he'd be all sweaty and thinking you're having a great time while you're looking at those ears and swearing off tequila for life. Why are Democrats so much more fuckable than Republicans? It's just one of those little facts of life.
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:10 AM on August 22, 2008 [7 favorites]

so instead we'll just mock his gaffs and make sexist jokes about his wife.

Also, since we're grammar nazis in addition to being liberal computer-users, we'll point out that the correct spelling is "gaffe". A "gaff" is an iron hook, a vociferation, or hey full-circle!! the domicile of a prostitute.
posted by felix betachat at 8:13 AM on August 22, 2008 [3 favorites]

Jimmy Carter: Fuckable.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:14 AM on August 22, 2008

Why are Democrats so much more fuckable than Republicans? It's just one of those little facts of life.

Maybe, but I'm pretty certain it would be easier for me to have a torrid fling with a Republican. Self-hatred makes for hot uninhibited sex.

A "gaff" is an iron hook, a vociferation, or hey full-circle!! the domicile of a prostitute.

It is also tape.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:15 AM on August 22, 2008

More cushion for the pushin'.
posted by ND¢ at 8:17 AM on August 22, 2008

mygothlaundry: Why are Democrats so much more fuckable than Republicans?

That one's easy. Because you're not a guy.
posted by koeselitz at 8:17 AM on August 22, 2008

Why are Democrats so much more fuckable than Republicans? It's just one of those little facts of life.

It's not true, actually. If you become crippled with self-loathing, the polarity reverses.
posted by felix betachat at 8:17 AM on August 22, 2008

"This balloon valance in particular shocks and horrifies me." Winna, I'm with you. I will also never read Architectural Digest again without sneering, once I saw that they referred to the FELIX THE CAT on the mantel as a mere "black-and-white cat."
posted by Liosliath at 8:19 AM on August 22, 2008

I would give Ann Coulter a good spanking. "You dirty, dirty little girl, you."
posted by booticon at 8:21 AM on August 22, 2008

Why are Democrats so much more fuckable than Republicans? It's just one of those little facts of life.

Republicans are good for angry fucking, it should be said. Time and a place for everything in life.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:22 AM on August 22, 2008

Why are Democrats so much more fuckable than Republicans?

Sex with Obama would be like shagging a silk bag full of coat hangers.
posted by Jofus at 8:23 AM on August 22, 2008 [3 favorites]

John McCain is the enemy, and anyone who associates with him is also the enemy. Since we're liberal computer-users, we're not exactly going to kill John and rape his wife, Viking-style, so instead we'll just mock his gaffs and make sexist jokes about his wife.

You must be a hoot and a holler at parties.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:25 AM on August 22, 2008

Omigod were we really withing six days? Are we never going to see cooter on MetaFilter?

C'mon guys, that was so clearly out there that even ND¢ apologized (before the lame callout and withdrawal of apology). So what does that tell you? Jessamyn obviously paid ND¢ to post that shit so she wouldn't have to cooterize.

Back, and too the left . . .
posted by The Bellman at 8:35 AM on August 22, 2008

Why are Democrats so much more fuckable than Republicans?

Because Republicans fuck you.
posted by Daddy-O at 8:38 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

. . . to . . .
posted by The Bellman at 8:38 AM on August 22, 2008

John McCain is the enemy, and anyone who associates with him is also the enemy.

I think you actually believe that, you strange little person, you.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:39 AM on August 22, 2008

Jessamyn did all the heavy lifting already by the time I got here

And this was while dealing with a pissed-off user who changed his userpage to comment on the fuckability of ME while I was dealing with this. Bleh.

I find all this fuckability talk generally distasteful because it turns into a bunch of "who can be more lulzy about it" one-upsmanship and then we start with the rape jokes and I'm totally disgusted by it. I know most of you are trying to be funny, I just find it off-putting.

Thin-skinned maybe, but I'm going to step away from this and see if I can regain some perspective.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:40 AM on August 22, 2008 [7 favorites]

And this was while dealing with a pissed-off user who changed his userpage to comment on the fuckability of ME while I was dealing with this.

Ugh. Gross. Close the thread, maybe?
posted by felix betachat at 8:45 AM on August 22, 2008

a pissed-off user who changed his userpage to comment on the fuckability of ME while I was dealing with this

Fucking asshole. Sorry to hear that, jessamyn.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:46 AM on August 22, 2008

Yeah I think we're done here.
posted by cashman at 8:48 AM on August 22, 2008

I'm sorry to hear that as well.
posted by cashman at 8:48 AM on August 22, 2008

I think this image here is the official Cindy McCain hateraide picture.
posted by BeerFilter at 8:50 AM on August 22, 2008

You are making the common mistake of confusing him with Flavor Flav.

*pictures John McCain leaning in close to a slightly fish-eyed camera lens*

Yeeeaaah Boooyeeeeee!

*shudders involuntarily*
posted by quin at 8:52 AM on August 22, 2008

And this was while dealing with a pissed-off user who changed his userpage to comment on the fuckability of ME while I was dealing with this.

BAN!!! But don't stop our fun here. You guys start behaving, OK, or the mods will stop this car right now, and YOU"LL BE SORRY YOUNG MAN!
posted by Daddy-O at 8:52 AM on August 22, 2008

And this was while dealing with a pissed-off user who changed his userpage to comment on the fuckability of ME while I was dealing with this. Bleh.

Yeah.. there's horsing around and then there is utter assholery.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:53 AM on August 22, 2008

The line between the two is ever so thin.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:56 AM on August 22, 2008

Sorry again about starting off the Cindy McCain fuckability talk. I realized it was a stupid and clichéd comment right after I made it, but you can't take it back once its said. I was on the wrong side of the thin horsing around/assholery line.
posted by ND¢ at 8:59 AM on August 22, 2008

Someone with better photoshop skills than mine should take this picture of John McCain and meld it with another to create an awesome "Two-Face" image.

I'd love to know how that picture happened to come about.
posted by Bookhouse at 9:03 AM on August 22, 2008

I still love you all
posted by Jofus at 9:07 AM on August 22, 2008

I'd love to know how that picture happened to come about.

"Mr. McCain, I'm afraid Al Jolson retired a number of years ago."
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:18 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

"Mr. McCain, there are some people on your lawn. They look to be about 139 years old."
"DAMN KIDS!"
posted by DU at 9:20 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'd love to know how that picture happened to come about.

"I'm, ah, afraid we, uh...don't rent Betamax tapes here, Senator. I'm afraid that, um. No one does. Any longer. No one, um. In the. In the world."
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:26 AM on August 22, 2008

The Hug is still my favorite picture of McCain. (Note: everyone needs a hug.)
posted by octobersurprise at 9:27 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'd like to have sex with Cindy McCain's money. Big piles of beer distributor, not cutting in the half-sister money. Is that so wrong?
posted by fixedgear at 9:29 AM on August 22, 2008

The Hug is still my favorite picture of McCain. (Note: everyone needs a hug.)

Oh my God, that's awesome.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:30 AM on August 22, 2008

When I was a kid, my grandmother would always ask if I had "listened to the television today".
posted by R. Mutt at 9:33 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'd love to know how that picture happened to come about
I'm pretty sure poop was involved.
posted by Sailormom at 9:34 AM on August 22, 2008

The Hug is still my favorite picture of McCain. (Note: everyone needs a hug.)

Whoa. Dumbass-in-Chief is all "Get this old person off me!"
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:35 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'd like to have sex with Cindy McCain's money. Big piles of beer distributor, not cutting in the half-sister money. Is that so wrong?

I'd hit that credit limit.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:37 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

Dumbass-in-Chief is all "Get this old person off me!"

To me it looks like Bush is saying "C'mere, you little munchkin!" and McCain is saying "Zzzzzzzzz."
posted by octobersurprise at 9:43 AM on August 22, 2008

And this was while dealing with a pissed-off user who changed his userpage to comment on the fuckability of ME while I was dealing with this. Bleh.

That is egregious. The McCain house thing was a fucked up hill to die on, and I can see how you would forgive a longtime user for an aberrant freakout. But for this type of ungrateful crybaby look-at-me nonsense you should ban that motherfucker.
posted by kosem at 9:43 AM on August 22, 2008

Current date for name change: ∞
posted by cashman at 9:44 AM on August 22, 2008

But for this type of ungrateful crybaby look-at-me nonsense you should ban that motherfucker.

Note that we're talking about two different users and two different issues that just coincided temporally to make a Really Awesome Thursday Night; spock is totally clean on that front, and other user is indeed a resident of Greater Bansville now.

The Hug is still my favorite picture of McCain.

That's actually a rare photo of the asexual spawning behavior of the North American Neoconserv—oh god, I'm one of those people making those jokes on the internet.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:47 AM on August 22, 2008

I almost feel sorry for ol' McCain. He's only going to get more old and dottering as this election continues.

Q: " Senator, where are your pants?"

A: "I think - I'll have my staff get to you. It's suspenders where - I'll have them get to you."
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:51 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

Note that we're talking about two different users and two different issues

Ahhh. I should read more. Greater Bansville makes me think of how much I'd like to lurk the nonsite banned.metafilter.com from time to time.

Sorry spock!
posted by kosem at 9:52 AM on August 22, 2008

There must be a painkiller in here. Give it to me immediately.
posted by quonsar at 9:53 AM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

Okay I missed this yesterday, but even 200 comments laterm I'm too much of a geek to not make the joke that this just shows how dangerous it is when pon farr corresponds with the American election cycle. Vulcans can't deal. Metafilter suffers.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:53 AM on August 22, 2008

The question about his pants is unfair.

The Senator doesn't actually own any pants. They belong to his wife, and his wife's trust.
posted by R. Mutt at 9:55 AM on August 22, 2008

McCain could remember exactly how many houses he had. He was just flustered, thinking "Oh, shit, have they found my secret family?"
posted by klangklangston at 9:55 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

"I think you're confusing this with the sound an erection makes when it gets slapped.

Schavennnnnng!!!

Or does that just happen in 1960's Mad magazine"

Nazi Wayne and Garth.
posted by klangklangston at 9:56 AM on August 22, 2008

The Senator doesn't actually own any pants. They belong to his wife, and his wife's trust.

Again, not true. The pre-nup specifies that the Senator is allowed 2 pairs of Sansabelt slacks (neutral colors, natch), and a single pair of pastel plaid pants to be worn while golfing.

Fight the smears.
posted by felix betachat at 9:58 AM on August 22, 2008

Also:

Metatalk: Personae Non Spazza
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:59 AM on August 22, 2008

That hug picture just made an already decent Friday 1000% better.
posted by shiu mai baby at 10:05 AM on August 22, 2008

Unamerican used to make a great sticker that said "UNFUCKWITHABLE". Now, every time someone talks fuckability, I just imagine they're talking about unfuckwithability.

It makes everything nicer.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:12 AM on August 22, 2008

You are making the common mistake of confusing him with Flavor Flav. John Edwards.
posted by trondant at 10:15 AM on August 22, 2008

The Senator doesn't actually own any pants. They belong to his wife, and his wife's trust.

Yep. And she demands to wear the pants in that family.
posted by ericb at 10:19 AM on August 22, 2008

There must be a painkiller in here. Give it to me immediately.

Why is this properly capitalized?
posted by cgc373 at 10:20 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

Elitist?

McCain drives in a nine-car motorcade from his compound to get a large cappuccino at Starbucks.
posted by ericb at 10:21 AM on August 22, 2008

I would like to apologize to Orrin Hatch.

Orrin, I'm sorry. Let's bury the 'hatch"et.
posted by Mister_A at 10:22 AM on August 22, 2008

The Fabulous Life of John McCain [video | 01:26].
posted by ericb at 10:22 AM on August 22, 2008

Keith Olbermann on McCain's house gaffe, and the overplay of the POW card [video 08:58].
posted by ericb at 10:25 AM on August 22, 2008

FOUND: John McCain - Get out of Gaffe Free Card.
posted by ericb at 10:27 AM on August 22, 2008

More like John McRich-and-out-of-touch, amimcrite?
posted by Mister_A at 10:33 AM on August 22, 2008

I think the suggestion that John McCain, a former naval aviator and prisoner of war, might not be able to remember to put on his pants is, frankly, quite outrageous.
posted by cmonkey at 10:35 AM on August 22, 2008

Well, spock was right in one regard. People want to talk about this issue. So much so that they're treating this metatalk thread about the thread on the blue as if it were the thread on the blue.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:38 AM on August 22, 2008

I was thinking that too, Dave–it's kind of like he got his wish after all.
posted by Mister_A at 10:40 AM on August 22, 2008

To be fair, John Sidney McCain III couldn't say he had 10 houses because the kaiser had stolen our word "ten."
posted by kirkaracha at 10:44 AM on August 22, 2008

I'd love to know how that picture happened to come about.

Don't know if this gives any more clues as to the story behind the picture, but here's a wider view of the same image, with another person in the frame.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:55 AM on August 22, 2008

This is metafilter.

This is metafilter on mescaline.

This is metafilter on mesclun.

Mmm... tasty FAIL SALAD has PEYOTE buttons.
posted by anotherpanacea at 10:56 AM on August 22, 2008

BTMFA!
posted by booticon at 11:18 AM on August 22, 2008

Washington Post: Take the McCain House Tour! [slideshow]

"Indoor and outdoor swimming pools! Spas and state-of-the-art fitness centers! Views of the Arizona mountains, the Pacific Ocean and downtown Phoenix!

John McCain isn't just a presidential candidate. He's a veritable bling-master, worthy of an 'MTV Cribs' episode, those televised tours of brazenly gilded homes led by celebrity owners like 50 Cent, Hulk Hogan and Bow Wow."

posted by ericb at 11:20 AM on August 22, 2008

Cortex: Note that we're talking about two different users and two different issues that just coincided temporally to make a Really Awesome Thursday Night; spock is totally clean on that front, and other user is indeed a resident of Greater Bansville now.

Wait, what?! There was an invisible spontaneous combustion flameout? I miss everything exciting.
posted by schyler523 at 11:23 AM on August 22, 2008

"I think the suggestion that John McCain, a former naval aviator and prisoner of war, might not be able to remember to put on his pants is, frankly, quite outrageous."

He only wore one pair of pants—for five and a half years!
posted by klangklangston at 11:26 AM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

I am tired of living in the alternate-history version of the USA.
posted by Mister_A at 11:56 AM on August 22, 2008 [3 favorites]

I've lost track of how many sockpuppets I own.
posted by Rumple at 11:56 AM on August 22, 2008

As long as Battlin' Joe Lieberman is there to whisper in McCain's ear everything will be just fine.

"Psst-- John! Put on your pants!"
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 12:00 PM on August 22, 2008

Why is this properly capitalized?

because it was quoting a guy under automatic fire in a land rover. guys under automatic fire in land rovers are always careful like that.
posted by quonsar at 12:26 PM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

Flashback: McCain didn’t know what kind of car he drove.

"...the National Review...dug up a 2007 interview revealing he knew neither how many houses he owned nor what car he drove:

'In our News interview, he was asked what kind of car he drove. As with Politico’s question about home ownership, he didn’t know and had to ask a nearby aide. 'A Cadillac CTS,' she told him.'

posted by ericb at 12:31 PM on August 22, 2008

The Right And Men Who Live Off Their Second Wives' Inherited Wealth

Remember when folks on "The Right" were attacking John Kerry for having a rich wife?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 12:55 PM on August 22, 2008

BTMFA!

I haven't heard this one. What's this? Bite? the MF Already?

Bicycle The Motor Free Area?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:56 PM on August 22, 2008

Let it go, folks. It's Pon'far.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:02 PM on August 22, 2008

If this was in PoliticalFilter, why does it need to be here?

Hmm. Isn't PoliticalFlter, as an entirely seperate site, a perfectly acceptable source for a "via"?
posted by Artw at 1:04 PM on August 22, 2008

This is metafilter on mesclun.

This is MetaFilter huffing jenkem.
posted by jack_mo at 1:05 PM on August 22, 2008

Uh, there was no indication in the audio or the transcript of the interview that McCain didn't know how many houses he owned. He simply referred the interviewer to one of his staff.
posted by gyc at 1:12 PM on August 22, 2008

Sort of like I "know" things by looking them up on wikipedia?
posted by Artw at 1:14 PM on August 22, 2008

billyfleetwood nailed it. The place just looks so fucking bizarre.

I didn't realize an earlier post had already been deleted. Go ahead and kill it.
posted by homunculus at 1:17 PM on August 22, 2008

why do they have a michelle obama totem?
posted by quonsar at 1:23 PM on August 22, 2008

Uh, there was no indication in the audio or the transcript of the interview that McCain didn't know how many houses he owned. He simply referred the interviewer to one of his staff.

Yeah, politics is soooooo unfair. Can you believe it?
posted by R. Mutt at 1:25 PM on August 22, 2008

Uh, there was no indication in the audio or the transcript of the interview that McCain didn't know how many houses he owned. He simply referred the interviewer to one of his staff.

Well, obviously candidates should respond to all questions in similar fashion.

"Governor, if Kitty Dukakis were raped and murdered, would you favor an irrevocable death penalty for the killer?"

"I think - I'll have my staff get to you."

Problem solved!
posted by languagehat at 1:31 PM on August 22, 2008

there was no indication in the audio or the transcript of the interview that McCain didn't know how many houses he owned. He simply referred the interviewer to one of his staff.

"How are you feeling today, Senator?"

"Uh. Talk to my staff. They'll give you that information."
posted by octobersurprise at 1:35 PM on August 22, 2008

Property records reviewed by The Associated Press show McCain and his family appear to own at least eight homes: A ranch and two condos in Arizona; three condos in Coronado, Calif.; a condo in La Jolla, Calif.; and another in Arlington, Va. The number of houses is a bit trickier to determine since the ranch has at least four houses and a two-story cabin on it.

Seven Condos, Four houses and a Cabin. That's 12 Homes. TWELVE!

Damn, Jet-Set McCain! Why, next to McCain, poor ol Mitt Romney is practically homeless. And there's no way McCain is picking a homeless man to be his V.P.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 1:39 PM on August 22, 2008

McCain/Romney is going to be one house laden ticket.
posted by R. Mutt at 1:49 PM on August 22, 2008

The rules for houses in elections are the same as for Monopoly, right? Obama is screwed.
posted by Artw at 1:53 PM on August 22, 2008

By all means, delete this.
posted by homunculus at 4:06 PM on August 22

I didn't realize an earlier post had already been deleted. Go ahead and kill it.
posted by homunculus at 4:17 PM on August 22

This post was deleted for the following reason: seems like a great post for politica... oh what's that you say? really? and it's relevant now why? oh, okay then. -- jessamyn

I think someone needs a hug.
posted by BeerFilter at 1:59 PM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

"'In our News interview, he was asked what kind of car he drove. As with Politico’s question about home ownership, he didn’t know and had to ask a nearby aide. 'A Cadillac CTS,' she told him.'"

Boy, that aide really dropped the ball there—she didn't mention his being a POW at all.
posted by klangklangston at 2:03 PM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

Houses, shoes, and private planes.
posted by ericb at 2:10 PM on August 22, 2008

I think someone needs a hug.

I think someone can't be everywhere at once.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:11 PM on August 22, 2008

"The Republican presidential candidate started the fuss earlier this week when he fumbled a question from Politico about how many houses he owns. He hemmed and hawed, then said, 'I'll have my staff get to you.'

One sidelight that may become a larger issue is a series of what seem to be subtle references to McCain's age. His critics don't overtly say he is 71 in the current torrent of zingers, but some of the criticism uses terms such as McCain 'losing track' of his homes and getting forgetful, raising questions about his mental alertness." ^*

posted by ericb at 2:12 PM on August 22, 2008

McCain/Romney is going to be one house laden ticket.

VP Romney Would Compound McCain's House Issue

“The rumor mill is abuzz that John McCain will (in fact, has already) chosen Mitt Romney as his vice presidential running mate and that the choice will be revealed just days after the Democratic convention. If that is the case, it could only compound the recent line of attack being used against the Arizona Republican.

Romney, like McCain, owns an abundance of houses. According to news reports, the former governor of Massachusetts has at least four properties in his portfolio. There is his primary residence in Massachusetts, a ski lodge in Utah, a lake front house in New Hampshire (described by USA Today as ‘an 11-acre estate valued at more than $10 million on the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee’) and a La Jolla beachfront home in California. The latter, according to Politico, is worth $12 million, has five bathrooms, and contains ‘direct access to sand beach, a quiet cul-de-sac location, spacious oceanfront deck, numerous patio areas with manicured lawns and mature landscaping, lap pool and spa.’”

posted by ericb at 2:15 PM on August 22, 2008

I wonder if any illegal immigrants work at any of the McCain properties, like those who used to manicure Romney's landscaping at his Belmont, MA estate.
posted by ericb at 2:18 PM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

For $50 an hour?
posted by R. Mutt at 2:20 PM on August 22, 2008

I don't even own eight forks.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:21 PM on August 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

jessamynAdmin said: "I think someone needs a hug.

I think someone can't be everywhere at once."

Awww <3
posted by booticon at 2:21 PM on August 22, 2008

STUPID GREASEMONKEY SCRIPT
posted by booticon at 2:27 PM on August 22, 2008

Hey, everybody—choose a lawn! He can only keep us off one of them at a time!
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:32 PM on August 22, 2008 [4 favorites]

Hug audit.
posted by Artw at 2:37 PM on August 22, 2008

Fox News: “Is Obama Bashing ‘American Dream’ By Bashing McCain’s 7 Homes?”
posted by ericb at 2:38 PM on August 22, 2008

They'll counter this house thing. Romney will be all like "Yeah I got a bunch of fucking houses. I worked hard and achieved and earned those houses. Having a bunch of fucking houses is the American dream. A lot of hard-working white Americans agree that there is nothing wrong with having worked hard and achieved and bought a bunch of houses. Now if Barack Obama had been president, then I probably wouldn't have all these houses. I probably wouldn't even have one house. Because he would have used the power of the federal government to take it away from me and turn it into a Madrassa. So, if you are against houses, but for terrorists, then by all means support Barack Obama"

The Republican Party: People in trailers voting for people with a bunch of fucking houses.
posted by ND¢ at 2:39 PM on August 22, 2008 [4 favorites]

Holy Shit! I had not seen that when I posted my comment. I am a genius!
posted by ND¢ at 2:40 PM on August 22, 2008

"'In our News interview, he was asked what kind of car he drove. As with Politico’s question about home ownership, he didn’t know and had to ask a nearby aide. 'A Cadillac CTS,' she told him.'"

Boy, that aide really dropped the ball there—she didn't mention his being a POW at all.

No kidding. Proper answer is: "One thing we all know for sure is that John McCain went five and a half years with no car at all - when he was in prison, in Vietnam, suffering for your freedom. That's the thing about being a POW for five and a half years, which was what John McCain was doing while Barack Hussein Obama was bowing to Mecca at his madrassa, and the thing is that they sure don't serve you arugula at the Hanoi Hilton. Which is where John McCain spent five and a half years as a prisoner . . . hey, get back here, I'm not finished . . ."

Also, since it got deleted in the other post, I just wanted to say I really appreciated the Architectural Digest link. I've now got a spiffy new line of t-shirts, coffee mugs and bumper stickers to sell at the RNC confab in Minneapolis:

Real Americans don't eat arugula, but they do recline beneath pergolas.
posted by gompa at 2:42 PM on August 22, 2008

Someone needs to tell those pathetic Roger Ailes droids that the "American Dream" does not equal abandoning one's family in the relentless pursuit of wealth and power. I know it's getting hard to tell the difference these days.
posted by felix betachat at 2:45 PM on August 22, 2008

Real Americans also aspire to never get old though. And a real American would certainly know what kind of car he drives (correct answer: The biggest one possible)
posted by Artw at 2:48 PM on August 22, 2008

"Hug audit."

I'd hug it.

(Also not a bad bumper sticker.)
posted by klangklangston at 2:58 PM on August 22, 2008

I am a genius!

Roger Ailes is on the phone for you. Apparently, he's offering you a job to pen Faux News/Republican Talking Points^TM.
posted by ericb at 3:00 PM on August 22, 2008

You know, when I read that he'd done five-and-a-half years in prison, my first thought was mild surprise that one of the Keating 5 had done time.
posted by stet at 3:05 PM on August 22, 2008 [3 favorites]

Real Americans don't eat arugula, but they do recline beneath pergolas.

Don't forget Poland! That's where they eat perogies.
posted by ericb at 3:05 PM on August 22, 2008

Roger Ailes is on the phone for you. Apparently, he's offering you a job to pen Faux News/Republican Talking Points.

No way dude. I read Mother Night.
posted by ND¢ at 3:14 PM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

Is the problem that some of the houses are in Czechoslovakia?
posted by pompomtom at 5:47 PM on August 22, 2008

I really wonder about the arugala-eating business. Does he have proof? Has he seen Obama's grocery receipts? Does the average American really know what arugala is, or do they just guess that only "elitists" eat it because it's a funny word?

Because really, arugala is kind of gross. Dude might try some chard instead. That stuff's delicious. "Chard-eater" just doesn't have the same kind of appeal. Chard sounds like something you might eat in your trailer. "I just got me a bucket o' chard!" Arugala, on the other hand - too many syllables.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:10 PM on August 22, 2008

That's where they eat perogies.

Piragi, if you will.

Full of bacony yumness, and practical usefulness:

It has been said that an unmarried girl will find herself a husband faster, if she eats the first Pirags that comes out of the oven.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:30 PM on August 22, 2008

*** nothing says love like sharing piragi *** ^
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:50 PM on August 22, 2008

Pierogi (also perogi, perogy, pirohi, piroghi, pirogi, pirogen, pierogy, pidahih, or pyrohy).

I really wonder about the arugala-eating business. Does he have proof? Has he seen Obama's grocery receipts?


It's from a comment made by Obama to Iowa farmers: "Anybody gone to Whole Foods lately and seen what they charge for arugula?" Of course, it made sense to the farmers. Incidentally, Arizona is one of the largest producers of arugula, as during the winter months, production shifts from California. I guess McCain is also out of touch with his state's farmers.
posted by oneirodynia at 6:53 PM on August 22, 2008

Arugula-related self-link.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:31 PM on August 22, 2008

McCain could have easily side-stepped the question:

"Heh... [light chuckle]... to be honest with you, there's only one house for me. It's a bit of a fixer-upper [non-scary smile], but it's got a lot of charm and, and a lot of character [pensive moment of respectful reflection]... and with a little help from my hardworking American friends, my loving wife and I should, God willing, be moving in some time after November."

Seriously though, if this is the epic gaffe that loses the Presidency for McCain, you guys are a lot more fucked up than I thought: "Wow, I never realized McCain was an out of touch rich old white guy 'til that epic gafffe! Oh well... if anyone needs me, I'll be making toast while having a bath..."
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:43 PM on August 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

Without media-repetition druming it into peoples heads for days on end it will do nothing.
posted by Artw at 11:44 PM on August 22, 2008

Arugula, arugula,
Obama mentioned thee,
He also likes
Endives and chard
And even kohl-ra-bi
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:53 PM on August 22, 2008

oh, aragula is actually rocket?

I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I’m a rocket man
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:43 AM on August 23, 2008

Truly, whoever wins this election will do so on their opponent's weaknesses, rather than their own strengths.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:44 AM on August 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

News results for George Obama.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:42 PM on August 23, 2008

McCain plays POW card again to deflect criticism over housing gaffe

"'I am grateful for the fact that I have a wonderful life,' McCain said. 'I spent some years without a kitchen table, without a chair, and I know what it's like to be blessed by the opportunities of this great nation. Cindy's father, who barely finished high school, went off and distinguished himself in World War II in a B-17 and came back with practically nothing and realized the American dream, and I am proud and grateful for that, and I think he is a role model to many young Americans who serve in the military and come back and succeed.'"

posted by ericb at 12:58 PM on August 24, 2008

"'I spent some years without a kitchen table, without a chair, and I know what it's like to be blessed by the opportunities of this great nation."

POW card? No, McCain's just talking about those five-and-a-half years in the mid-'70s when all he had was a breakfast nook and a stool. Could hardly spread the morning paper open; it was torture.
posted by klangklangston at 1:10 PM on August 24, 2008

UbuRoivas : 6 days man...6 days! we were so close!!

oh, c'mon! that didn't count. i meant i'd boff him on the noggin, obviously.

I hadn't updated the list lately; we were a couple of weeks away, actually. It was a nice run, one of the two longest, I think. I'm adding some quotes now.

I keep thinking I'll make a MeTa post when we clear the first week without resets, so the rules can get a bit of clarification, but doing that without goading on schmucks might be tricky.

(Does "I'd hug it" count? No, right? "I'd vacillate it?")
posted by Pronoiac at 1:14 PM on August 24, 2008 [1 favorite]