Oh man October 27, 2008 5:18 PM   Subscribe

Thanks for killing my new gig cortex!

You ruined the boss cross-Marketing deal I just closed with Bloomberg and Whole foods! I've been pitching this campaign for over 6 months. My research shows a high correlation for a potential but as of yet *UNREALIZED* synergy between dried tofurazzis and Bloomberg readers. FYI, the bonuses here at Freddie Mac are not really a shoe-in this year, get it?
posted by Rafaelloello to MetaFilter-Related at 5:18 PM (90 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

What?
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:18 PM on October 27, 2008 [10 favorites]


Can you make sense please?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:21 PM on October 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


I think he thinks you accused him of doing his post as some sort of shill, so he's making up some fake connections for how it was one giant phony ad for bloomberg, but he probably didn't read the deletion reason or the string of comments saying it was just several items from today's financial news mashed into an incoherent post.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 5:25 PM on October 27, 2008


I think he is lonely and just wants to talk...
posted by lee at 5:26 PM on October 27, 2008 [8 favorites]


That huge tofu is very cool though, it's 2 tons of tofu for god sake.
posted by lee at 5:28 PM on October 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


Did I just slip into the secret mod IM channel?
posted by eyeballkid at 5:28 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Exactly what Matt said. I knew it was marginal, I just thought the giant tofu and the China daily site was kind of neat.
posted by Rafaelloello at 5:28 PM on October 27, 2008


[retrieves lighter]
posted by waraw at 5:30 PM on October 27, 2008


no entiendo
posted by killdevil at 5:33 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


The Robocop on a Unicorn post was slight and stupid. It also delivered exactly what was advertised, and it was amusing.

Your post did not contain what you claimed it contained. There was no financial market crushed by tofu. Not ironic crushing, not parodic crushing, not even counterrevolutionary crushing. No crushing whatsoever.

Also, aside from the giant tofu, it was not interesting. The giant tofu could have been interesting but it instead it was a letdown. You set us up for some hot tofu-crushing action. And there wasn't any.

Therefore your post sucked.
posted by ardgedee at 5:34 PM on October 27, 2008 [9 favorites]


I knew it was marginal

umm...
posted by mathowie (staff) at 5:35 PM on October 27, 2008


You shouldn't formulate your requests for clarification as textual interpretive dance.
posted by CKmtl at 5:35 PM on October 27, 2008 [9 favorites]


Flagged as performance art.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:36 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


You gonna post a crap askme next?
posted by ryanrs at 5:37 PM on October 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


As your attorney I recommend you smoke either a lot less or a lot more weed.
posted by loquacious at 5:38 PM on October 27, 2008 [17 favorites]


Thanks for nothing just to use openoffice for our PM cribbing a speech synthesizer is used eight times every time I installed slash on a powerpoint awards presentation.
posted by 31d1 at 5:39 PM on October 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


Lesson learned. Next time I won't sell something I can't deliver. Should have labeled it SLT (Single link Tofu).
posted by Rafaelloello at 5:39 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Can I just post the hugungous tofu thing without it being a double? Cuz, you know HUGUNGOUS TOFU!!!!

I hate tofu.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 5:40 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Lesson learned. Next time I won't sell something I can't deliver. Should have done something radically different, like, i dunno, NOT POST
posted by waraw at 5:42 PM on October 27, 2008


I always feel bad when I take up the mods' time unnecessarily. Even a friendly e-mail saying, "Hey, could you delete this comment I made? I realized it was incorrect" makes me feel like a pain in the ass. I get all nervous for like the next day or so, and try not to make any more work for them than I have to.

This is not how you operate?
posted by Greg Nog at 5:43 PM on October 27, 2008 [15 favorites]


At least the front page is Palin free!

Bring back the tofu or I will make a Palin FPP like I threatened to on Friday.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:43 PM on October 27, 2008


Ooo-eee-ooo killer tofu!
posted by klangklangston at 5:47 PM on October 27, 2008 [6 favorites]


Lesson learned. Next time I won't sell something I can't deliver. Should have labeled it SLT (Single link Tofu).

Have you... I mean, actually learned? I'm dubious.

Humbly, now, I'd like to don my teacher's cap and have you stay after class.

The giant dried tofu link and story could have been interesting, especially fleshed out with some history of records about giant dried tofus or something, or even tangential or historical information about tofu.

However, if you wanted to make a post about financial news - even current news - you generally should function as more than just a link to a news feed. You should be able to provide some sort of unique analysis (hopefully without editorializing) - or if plainly presented as a link or group of links - sources or articles of exceptional quality.


Excessively unrelated posts to common newswire feeds combined with wack not-really-clear editorializing isn't really going to do much for folks around here.
posted by loquacious at 5:49 PM on October 27, 2008


What exactly was the issue with mailing cortex on this issue rather than putting up a thread here?

That story about Mefi Mail being guarded by Laser Snakes was completely taken apart by Snopes you know.
posted by panboi at 5:52 PM on October 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


It's big Tofu! That's all. Isn't the deal that we post stuff most people might not come across in their daily travels? I'm very, very, very, sorry that I purported the War of the Worlds style epic lie that the Giant Tofus from Grovers Mills were crushing the markets and taking over the world.
posted by Rafaelloello at 5:53 PM on October 27, 2008


And the 3 Bloomberg articles are very good.
posted by Rafaelloello at 5:56 PM on October 27, 2008


Eh, I ate a tofu bigger than that in Taiwan.
posted by languagehat at 5:57 PM on October 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


Isn't the deal that we post stuff most people might not come across in their daily travels?

If by "we" you mean "people who have confused Metafilter with digg and / or fark," then the answer to your question is "yes, that is what you do." Otherwise, no, not so much.
posted by dersins at 5:57 PM on October 27, 2008


You know what goes well with tofu? LESS CRACK.
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:57 PM on October 27, 2008 [12 favorites]


Where's the Astral Plane mod when you need him?
posted by vacapinta at 5:58 PM on October 27, 2008


a tofu deal was 86'd? Mercy killing.
posted by jonmc at 5:59 PM on October 27, 2008


Greg Nog: I always feel bad when I take up the mods' time unnecessarily. Even a friendly e-mail saying, "Hey, could you delete this comment I made?"

I used to operate this way and then cortex was made a mod and the way I see it every minute I spend pestering him on IM keeps the pun-ratio down. Or at least spares others his ratatat machine-punning.
posted by Kattullus at 6:06 PM on October 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


YOU HEAR THAT CORTEX HE JUST CALLED YOU A MACHINE

A PUN MACHINE
posted by Greg Nog at 6:08 PM on October 27, 2008


I'm very, very, very, sorry that I purported the War of the Worlds style epic lie that the Giant Tofus from Grovers Mills were crushing the markets and taking over the world.

Exactly.

You have no idea how disappointed I was that this wasn't what the post was about. Or at least maybe tofu futures drying up or something.
posted by loquacious at 6:09 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Drubk?
posted by ericb at 6:11 PM on October 27, 2008


Oh no, it's SUPERCENSORSHIP!!!111eleventeen again!!
posted by pompomtom at 6:13 PM on October 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


If you scroll this thread up and down very quickly you get a sentence kind of like "giant Palin unicorn made out of tofu". That should have been the post, I think.

Tofu rules!
posted by soundofsuburbia at 6:17 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh no, it's SUPERCENSORSHIP!!!111eleventeen again!!

I forgot about that.

Yes -- Rafaelloello's previous two other MetaTalk's have been about deletion and "super-censorship" of his posts on the "blue."
I must really rank -- Outright censorship?

Best "deleted for the following reason" of the week.
Persecution complex?
posted by ericb at 6:19 PM on October 27, 2008


Or, attention whoring?
posted by ericb at 6:20 PM on October 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


ericb: Only one. The Best Deletion reason one isn't about his post, and he's highlighting the humor of the deletion reason.
posted by CKmtl at 6:23 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


The weird thing was that I had read all the Bloomberg articles already and so I found your post confusingly stalker-ish.

Frankly, I wish a giant tofu would fall from the sky and crush the entire Hong Kong Stock Exchange. It would be the kind of tragedy that would resurrect irony after its unfortunate demise on 9/11. We'd all know we were living in a surreal dream and that we needn't fear death or a bear market. It would also prove that veganism is the greatest crime against humanity of all.
posted by anotherpanacea at 6:25 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


I HAZ A BARD
posted by waraw at 6:29 PM on October 27, 2008


What?

what
posted by lukemeister at 6:31 PM on October 27, 2008


eeeyaieee
posted by solipsophistocracy at 6:31 PM on October 27, 2008


This is the guy who's previous posts have blamed everything under the sun on Clinton. I'm guessing this was a test post: Will the ultra-commie censorship-loving mods delete a post that was perfectly innocent other than mentioning a hippie food like tofu?
posted by DU at 6:36 PM on October 27, 2008


YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION
posted by KokuRyu at 6:43 PM on October 27, 2008


On the bright side, this lousy post by Rafaelloello totally made me forget to vote for Barack Obama.
posted by brain cloud at 6:45 PM on October 27, 2008 [7 favorites]


DU: "45This is the guy who's previous posts have blamed everything under the sun on Clinton. I'm guessing this was a test post: Will the ultra-commie censorship-loving mods delete a post that was perfectly innocent other than mentioning a hippie food like tofu?"

Damn. Mefites are so smart. Back to the laboratory.
posted by Rafaelloello at 6:46 PM on October 27, 2008


If you rearrange the letters in tofu you will get my secret message and know what to do. wink, wink, nudge, nudge
posted by Rafaelloello at 6:50 PM on October 27, 2008


Will someone with conservative cred stop by and tell this guy that he's being an ass in a funny way?
posted by StrikeTheViol at 6:51 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


YOU'RE BEING AN ASS IN A FUNNY WAY, RAFAELLOELLO
posted by shakespeherian at 6:54 PM on October 27, 2008 [6 favorites]


During the rectification of the Reagan, the traveler came as The Great Seitan! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Bush supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Tofu! Many Lobyists and Day Traders knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Tofu that day, I can tell you!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:54 PM on October 27, 2008 [12 favorites]


Oh shit it's this guy?! How awesome is that.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:59 PM on October 27, 2008


Hey, come on. Give the guy a break. He was bored and, you know, Leonardoello, Michelangeloello, and Donatelloello don't call so much these days...
posted by mandal at 7:00 PM on October 27, 2008


I just remembered I referred to him as "Roffledoffle" in that post. Thanks for the memories, Roffledoffle!
posted by DU at 7:01 PM on October 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


Rafaelloello: If you rearrange the letters in tofu you will get my secret message and know what to do. wink, wink, nudge, nudge

If you you rearrange the letters in you name, it spells "Reel Lo, All Oaf"

Your huge marketing gig with Bloomberg all rested depended on an FPP to MeFi?

Sounds like the post wasn't what needed killing.
posted by timsteil at 7:02 PM on October 27, 2008


mandal: "54Hey, come on. Give the guy a break. He was bored and, you know, Leonardoello, Michelangeloello, and Donatelloello don't call so much these days..."

Hey don't get all up in my grill racist, homes
posted by Rafaelloello at 7:04 PM on October 27, 2008


67If I start my text with a number, what does your quoting software do to it?
posted by DU at 7:06 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


I can't wait for when the 100kers join and I can sit back on my wicker porch rocker, sip a little on my sun tea, and tell them, as the gaze wide-eyed up at me, that I was there for Roffledoffle.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:09 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


What's all this about Reagan's rectum?
posted by Burhanistan at 7:09 PM on October 27, 2008


DU: "5867If I start my text with a number, what does your quoting software do to it?"

There may be a temporary error in m y a u t o p o s ti ng s o ftware. Plea s se st and b y. We w i ll corr ecct th iiss shorrttly.
posted by Rafaelloello at 7:09 PM on October 27, 2008


Rafaelloello, your mind is the Buddha. Act like it, for Christ's sake.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:12 PM on October 27, 2008


*rushes to get that slogan copyrighted (sans Rafaeljello)*
posted by Burhanistan at 7:13 PM on October 27, 2008


Sometimes there's a man... I won't say a good poster, 'cause, what's a good poster? But sometimes, there's a man -- and I'm talkin' about Rafaelloello here -- sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's Rafaelloello. In Metafilter. And even if he's a slightly tarded and weird man - and Rafaelloello was most certainly that, quite possibly the most tarded and weird in all of Metafilter County, which would place him high in the runnin' for most tarded and weird worldwide -- but sometimes there's a man... sometimes, there's a man. Aw, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced it enough.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:15 PM on October 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


open thread!
posted by xorry at 7:16 PM on October 27, 2008


middleclasstool: "64Sometimes there's a man... I won't say a good poster, 'cause, what's a good poster? But sometimes, there's a man -- and I'm talkin' about Rafaelloello here -- sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's Rafaelloello. In Metafilter. And even if he's a slightly tarded and weird man - and Rafaelloello was most certainly that, quite possibly the most tarded and weird in all of Metafilter County, which would place him high in the runnin' for most tarded and weird worldwide -- but sometimes there's a man... sometimes, there's a man. Aw, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced it enough."

I'm Rafaelloello and I endorse the message.
posted by Rafaelloello at 7:18 PM on October 27, 2008


Damn. I meant "approve" not "endorse". Mods, a little help, please?
posted by Rafaelloello at 7:22 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Check out my CafePress offerings tomorrow. You **DO NOT** want to go to the polls next week without your Tarded and Weird... (on the front) I studied with Rafaelloello(on the back) T-shirt
posted by Rafaelloello at 7:28 PM on October 27, 2008


It's over. You go home now.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:30 PM on October 27, 2008


GIANT ATTENTION-WHORE FALLS ON METAFILTER!!!!
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 7:30 PM on October 27, 2008 [4 favorites]


This weird little attention-gathering experiment should be closed.
posted by CKmtl at 7:32 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'd suggest closing this thread to prevent this spiraling further into madness, cause god knows it's already at the corner of Are You Okay? and What?
posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:34 PM on October 27, 2008 [6 favorites]


You gonna post a crap askme next?

The MetaTrifecta: seldom attempted, never accomplished.
posted by lukemeister at 7:40 PM on October 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


I like Linzer Torte. Also here's the history of the Graf Zeppelin.
posted by ob at 7:46 PM on October 27, 2008


That story about Mefi Mail being guarded by Laser Snakes was completely taken apart by Snopes you know.

Ah, but what about the Ninja Snakes? Hmmmmm?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:48 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


You aren't funny. Which is good, because you don't need to be funny to get welfare.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:53 PM on October 27, 2008


As your attorney I recommend you smoke either a lot less or a lot more weed.

I'm voting for less - dude, go eat a sandwich!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 7:58 PM on October 27, 2008


I move that we have a MeFi pledge break so Matt can buy Ninja Laser Snakes.
posted by lukemeister at 7:59 PM on October 27, 2008


Rafaelloello, it's down there somewhere. Maybe you should take another look.
posted by telstar at 8:08 PM on October 27, 2008


I'd suggest closing this thread to prevent this spiraling further into madness

I sort of wanted to watch the SaddoAttentionWhore:EveryoneElse comment ratio approach one but, on reflection, your plan is more sensible.
posted by pompomtom at 8:19 PM on October 27, 2008


Ah, but what about the Ninja Snakes? Hmmmmm?

Nope. Adam and Jamie busted that one a couple episodes back.
posted by rtha at 8:22 PM on October 27, 2008


.
posted by stet at 8:24 PM on October 27, 2008


   
posted by BeerFilter at 8:25 PM on October 27, 2008


pompomtom: Well, he FAVOURITED my comment asking someone to close this thread, which I consider close to endorsement of the idea of thread closing...
posted by flibbertigibbet at 8:26 PM on October 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


HOLY FUCK that is a lot of tofu.
posted by not_on_display at 8:28 PM on October 27, 2008


Oh man, Dead Space? I gotta buy that sucker this week.
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:29 PM on October 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


Was anyone expecting rational thought from this guy? Really?

*I'll be over here, eating popcorn...*
posted by schyler523 at 8:39 PM on October 27, 2008


*ducks head in MeTa thread*

Did I hear someone say tofu?

*puts on tofu bib*
posted by brundlefly at 8:40 PM on October 27, 2008


SYNTAX ERROR
_
posted by loquacious at 8:41 PM on October 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


ok, I think we've had enough on this go around.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:48 PM on October 27, 2008


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