Why?! January 8, 2010 1:11 PM   Subscribe


read the 3rd comment.
posted by craven_morhead at 1:12 PM on January 8, 2010


Because it was a double from a year ago?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:12 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


God damn it!

I guess you can delete this too. Or make fun of me for the next little while. Either or.
posted by chunking express at 1:13 PM on January 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


Hahahahahha, chunking express's next little while is so lame!
posted by qvantamon at 1:15 PM on January 8, 2010 [8 favorites]


Well, I guess I'll close this.

*struggles*

I can't! I'm such a loser.
posted by Skot at 1:15 PM on January 8, 2010 [4 favorites]


chunking slow lane. /Points and says HA HA
posted by Babblesort at 1:16 PM on January 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


Why not both, chunking?
posted by craven_morhead at 1:17 PM on January 8, 2010


I'm not gonna make fun. Imma gonna hug you. *hug*
posted by studentbaker at 1:17 PM on January 8, 2010


studentbaker, stop ruining it for the rest of us.
posted by qvantamon at 1:18 PM on January 8, 2010


Well if the thread is deleted you can't make fun of me ... in this thread.

I see you're thinking outside the box.
posted by chunking express at 1:18 PM on January 8, 2010


Sorry, I didn't include an explicit "double" link in the post because it was pointed out really early in the comments and also I couldn't think of a bad pun to incorporate into the deletion reason.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:20 PM on January 8, 2010 [2 favorites]




Imma gonna hug you too, qvantamon.
posted by studentbaker at 1:22 PM on January 8, 2010


Waaaaaah! Get it off me! Get it off me!
posted by qvantamon at 1:24 PM on January 8, 2010




My recent favorite deletion reason was from Cortex and was something along the lines of: "If Metafilter were in Fenway Park this post would be a Mary Kay convention in Anaheim."

I'd never be able to find it though.
posted by marxchivist at 1:25 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


*bows*
posted by The Devil Tesla at 1:34 PM on January 8, 2010


Personally I would have liked "a day may come where you don't post a double, BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY"
posted by The Devil Tesla at 1:38 PM on January 8, 2010 [10 favorites]


Well... I'm glad it was posted again and this metatalk was created because I missed it both times.
posted by yeti at 1:40 PM on January 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


TDT FTW.
posted by craven_morhead at 1:41 PM on January 8, 2010


Anyone notice this thread has zero favorited comments?
posted by qvantamon at 1:47 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


had
posted by qvantamon at 1:48 PM on January 8, 2010


It's missing "crash your enemies, see dem driven before you and hear de lamentations of de women."
posted by electroboy at 1:50 PM on January 8, 2010


Wong Kar Wai sucks and would probably make fun of you too, but with a lot more cinematic flair
posted by Think_Long at 1:59 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's missing anything from my all-time favorite.
posted by Bookhouse at 1:59 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's a Christmas favorites miracle. 11 months early.
posted by Babblesort at 2:00 PM on January 8, 2010


I've been adding "to the lamentation of their women" to just about anything. I find it really spices up an otherwise dull day.

What you doing tonight?

I dunno, maybe watch The Office to the lamentations of their women.

You eat yet?

I had Hot Pockets to the lamentations of their women.

Are those bunny slippers?

I got them on sale on Montgomery Ward to the lamentations of their women.

Don't get upset about it, it happens to everybody.

Yeah, maybe, but it's never happened to me to the lamentations of their women.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:00 PM on January 8, 2010 [7 favorites]


zarq, that deleted pair of breasts post is awesome! Is it shovenistic of me to say too bad the link doesn't work anymore?
posted by yellowbinder at 2:01 PM on January 8, 2010


shovenistic

I'm stealing this. I'm feeling pretty shovenistic today. I'm gonna go shove a bunch of people in the hopes that they'll yell, "I've been shovened!" And I'll say, "What can I say? I'm a shovenist."
posted by Skot at 2:06 PM on January 8, 2010 [23 favorites]


A rambling story about student electioneering, and a self-link to a pair of breasts? Congratulations: this is one of the worst posts I've ever seen. This is prize-winningly bad. Pure stunno. You have done exactly nothing right.

This is perhaps the best dis I've ever read. Every time I see it, it brings me joy.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 2:08 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


"shovenistic"?

Don't get pushy, bub.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 2:08 PM on January 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


zarq, that deleted pair of breasts post is awesome! Is it shovenistic of me to say too bad the link doesn't work anymore?

There's plenty of clevage where that came from. :D
posted by zarq at 2:09 PM on January 8, 2010


I've been adding "to the lamentation of their women" to just about anything. I find it really spices up an otherwise dull day.

If someone follows up with a montage of epic pwnage, the guy that goes before Conan definitely belongs a featured spot. Pfft. Falcons.
posted by electroboy at 2:14 PM on January 8, 2010


belongs = deserves. crushed one too many enemies last night.
posted by electroboy at 2:15 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


Ahh did you see them driven before you? That's the best part.
posted by Mister_A at 2:25 PM on January 8, 2010


I could honestly do without the lamentations unless that's an ancient word for "backrubs".
posted by Mister_A at 2:25 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


Do not trust the shovenist. He is malfeasible.
posted by flabdablet at 3:16 PM on January 8, 2010 [2 favorites]




More like, uh, uh, like. Um. Wait. More like All-- dammit. I can do this. Hold on. Allistwice Jackson? No. Stupid. Stupid. Okay, alliSON jackSON? No, too wonky. Um. I--er. Think, man. Okay. Okay. Box almost full. Just pick something, go with it. It's just a deletion reason. Okay. Okay, yes, sure, look: more like allison Djoubleson! ...dammit.

Picnic time for teddy beaAAUUUGHHH OH MY GOD

SUCK FREEDOM TASER, DOCTOR DOUBLE

this rings a bell AHAHAHAHAHA RINGS HAHAHAHA okay sorry
posted by zarq at 4:05 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


My moderately crazy pysch prof showed that video the last month of classes, and then tried several times to get the entire class to stand up and cheer. I seem to remember that he showed it right after the "Last Lecture" video, and while the connection is appreciated, is it a bit hard to joyfully yell right after a dying man gives away his collection of teddy bears.
posted by niles at 4:06 PM on January 8, 2010


> Sorry, I didn't include an explicit "double" link in the post because it was pointed out really early in the comments and also I couldn't think of a bad pun to incorporate into the deletion reason.

You couldn't find it in yourself to give 200% effort, dude.
posted by ardgedee at 4:20 PM on January 8, 2010


"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"
posted by bardic at 4:21 PM on January 8, 2010


Does anyone else find that montage depressing? Standing up to cheer is the last thing I want to do after watching the deconstruction of the motivational speech.
posted by bingo at 4:49 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


zarq's first link is borked; here's a fixed link.

Thanks, Infodump! I'm sure I'll do something more useful with you real soon!
posted by Pronoiac at 5:35 PM on January 8, 2010


Doh.

Pronoiac, thanks.
posted by zarq at 7:07 PM on January 8, 2010


zarq, that deleted pair of breasts post is awesome!

Man, when I feel ashamed about all the stupid things I have said here--I will remember that as bad as they are, they are like a candle lit outside at noon on a planet orbiting a supernova in comparison to that gargantuan slab of clueless stupidity. His idiocy and ignorance is going to be celebrated for centuries. And, hey, that doofus is still a member--well, at least technically. I don't see any this account is disabled.

Of course, that would be a redundancy in this case, would it not ?
posted by y2karl at 7:07 PM on January 8, 2010


At first Cortex didn't think he had the strength to delete it, but then it really got him pumped and he realized he could do it
posted by Nick Verstayne at 7:17 PM on January 8, 2010


It makes me happy cortex takes such pride in his work, whereas other mods feel the need to explain their reasons to the poor saps who get their posts deleted. Sure, he might explain it sometime, but there are only so many way you can politely say "this is a double post," while the indigenous people of Mefistan have over three dozen words for "double".
posted by filthy light thief at 8:49 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


The deleted pair of breasts post was indeed awesome, plus it had a "First!" poster. Even if that person was being ironic, and probably was, it brought to mind a conversation I had with Kattullus recently - i.e., how fun it would be to have won the 100,000th account, and immediately start posting "First!" in threads, linking to Cialis spam, signing your posts, adding ":cool:" at the end of every sentence, and so on.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:50 PM on January 8, 2010


It would be a fun ten minutes and then you could never go to another MeFi meetup anywhere in the world.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:55 PM on January 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


If you still want to get motivated, how about watching the story of Nick Vujicic, the man with no arms, no legs, no worries?...
posted by growabrain at 8:59 PM on January 8, 2010


I admit it was more fun to talk about then it would be to deal with the real-life consequences.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:59 PM on January 8, 2010


Free motherfuckin Willy
posted by nestor_makhno at 10:26 PM on January 8, 2010


The deleted pair of breasts post was indeed awesome, plus it had a "First!" poster.

My boyfriend is entirely ignorant of the ways of the internet. Once, after someone said something funny, he replied "First!" enthusiastically. After my palm left my face, I had to explain to him that it's not a show of support, just online idiocy.
posted by yellowbinder at 10:34 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


More. For the heck of it:

posted previously - also, calling out other posts you don't like IN YOUR POST, not that cool.

*flips out* "ORIGINAL THREAD!" *throws chair* "STILL OPEN!!!" *chews scenery*

Can't start a fire / can't start a fire without a spark / this post's for hire / even for doublepostin' in the dark

The truth? You can't handbell the truth!

if only this could stay open so the pussy jokes could run on forever, but alas this is a DOUBLE. Full of regret, I am

[ring ring ring] HELLO MY NAME IS MASSENGILL Q. SUMMERSEVE AND I'M CALLING ON BEHALF OF YOUR LOCAL PHONE COMPANY AND-- [click]

A circumstance beyond our control, oh oh oh oh / The phone, the tv and the news of the world / Got in the house like a pigeon from hell, oh oh oh oh / Threw sand in our eyes and descended like flies / Put us back on the train / Oh, back on the chain gang

The first four words of this deletion reason are actually the cover of the debut album of Tommy Double and the Conjoiners.

Silicone? Silictwo.

Check it out, I'm doing some deletion magic up in this thing.

NSFW: Lame. Sorry Astro Zombie.

JULIET: Farting is such repeat sorrow.

oh my god man i am having like the weirdest sense of deja vu right now and HOLY SHIT THE COLORS

In your defense, there's a pretty tremendous amount of space between this post and 54360.
posted by zarq at 10:42 PM on January 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


Cortex, some suggestions:

Come, swear it, damn thyself
Lest, being like one of heaven, the devils themselves
Should fear to seize thee: therefore be double damn'd!
- Othello

He would say untruths; and be ever double
Both in his words and meaning: he was never,
But where he meant to ruin, pitiful:
His promises were, as he then was, mighty;
But his performance, as he is now, nothing!
- Henry VIII

And be these juggling fiends no more believed,
That palter with us in a double sense;
That keep the word of promise to our ear,
And break it to our hope.
- Macbeth

Dispatch: this knave's tongue begins to double.
- Henry VI, Part II

FOR THE WIN:
I understand you not: my griefs are double.
- Love's Labour's Lost
posted by grumblebee at 8:15 AM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


A rambling story about student electioneering, and a self-link to a pair of breasts? Congratulations: this is one of the worst posts I've ever seen. This is prize-winningly bad. Pure stunno. You have done exactly nothing right.

Holy moly. Oh my god, I used to know him. My worlds just collided in a very, very strange way. Marisa Stole the Precious Thing, for what it's worth, I feel confident that it was not meant to be ironic.
posted by juliplease at 8:31 AM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


(omg! in his picture! that's my hat!!)
posted by juliplease at 8:32 AM on January 9, 2010


Ahahahahahahahaha. Oh man.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:32 AM on January 9, 2010


(Like, I mean seriously. It's literally my hat.
posted by juliplease at 8:36 AM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh, and I meant that the "First!" poster was probably ironic. Rambling electioneering boobs boy's FPP reeks of clueless sincerity.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:37 AM on January 9, 2010


Holy crap that is the exact same hat. I wonder what other users here have profile pics of themselves wearing this hat?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:42 AM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's a little weirder than that. I was there the day he took that picture and he had borrowed my hat. O_o

Oh, and I meant that the "First!" poster was probably ironic.

Right, right, gotcha. Hahaha, I misread because my head was spinning.
posted by juliplease at 8:46 AM on January 9, 2010


I can't find the original link, but I have a soft spot for this: the post was a single link YouTube to some silly video someone made of kittens, and the deletion reason was:

"This post was deleted for the following reason: This post is butt. I like kittens too, but seriously. Butt. This is a butt post."

Not quite as witty, but it hits the funny bone on my inner twelve-year-old just right.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:26 AM on January 9, 2010


EmpressCallipygos: here you go.

A Google Spreadsheet of deleted reasons. Use the app's search; ctrl-f doesn't work so well.
posted by Pronoiac at 11:05 AM on January 9, 2010






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