You'll never be 'Jeroboam, p.i., so give it to someone else. February 10, 2011 8:39 AM   Subscribe

Announcing the MetaFilter Unregistered Username Amnesty

The time has come to shed a burden that many of us share. So open that secret text file and hand over all those weird and wonderful potential usernames you've been hoarding ready for the brand new day that's never going to come.

Watch some poor kid's eyes light up when they see that 'Krakatoa Fondue' and 'Billy Ray Cyclops' are theirs for the taking.

I'm not asking people to reveal sockpuppet accounts, by the way; just share any good usernames you've thought of but never used...
posted by le morte de bea arthur to MetaFilter-Related at 8:39 AM (677 comments total) 23 users marked this as a favorite

fuq2 is still available as far as I know.
posted by fuq at 8:41 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


There's this guy called Iain who has a bunch of them.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:46 AM on February 10, 2011 [15 favorites]


eyeballkid's balls.
posted by special-k at 8:48 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


the Swinish Multitude
posted by Helga-woo at 8:48 AM on February 10, 2011


younghappyrocker
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:49 AM on February 10, 2011


cortex's morning run through the fuckers
posted by ND¢ at 8:53 AM on February 10, 2011 [53 favorites]


I chose my username because I wanted to be disconnected from my actual identity but like two weeks later (and this is after like five years of lurking like nobody's business, so I had plenty of time to think about usernames) I put my name (etc) on the account and have ALWAYS REGRETTED not calling myself something more like "Carthago Delenda Est," "The Honorable Judge Cuddles," or "Killdozer." Though I suspect Killdozer has been claimed.

What the hell is troika? I mean, really girl. What were you thinking?
posted by troika at 8:54 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


freewheel
posted by fixedgear at 8:57 AM on February 10, 2011 [7 favorites]


I AM YOUR LAWYER AND THIS IS FREE LEGAL ADVICE
posted by bondcliff at 8:58 AM on February 10, 2011 [81 favorites]


cavernous buns
posted by hermitosis at 8:58 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Moister_A
Moisture_A
Mostly_A
Messr._A
Missus_A
Mister_A2:Electric Boogaloo

Any of these are yours for the taking, folks!
posted by Mister_A at 8:58 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also, Mt. Bond and West Bond are free to anyone who wants them. Bondcliff is the prettier mountain though.
posted by bondcliff at 9:00 AM on February 10, 2011


pha-cue
posted by Confess, Fletch at 9:00 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Horselover Phattie
posted by Burhanistan at 9:04 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


I always thought it would be fun to make an account called "brotex", which would helpfully explain the finer points of site etiquette in the voice of a lacrosse-playing frat boy.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:04 AM on February 10, 2011 [39 favorites]


John Robie, The Cat
posted by Miko at 9:07 AM on February 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


I always thought it would be fun to make an account called "Breau Brummel" and give Regency sartorial advice in the voice of a kegstanding fratboy.

Also instead of "cool story bro" my snarky catchphrase would be "A RIPPING GOOD YARN, OLD CHAP!"
posted by elizardbits at 9:08 AM on February 10, 2011 [17 favorites]


jessamax
posted by arveale at 9:08 AM on February 10, 2011 [45 favorites]


My usernames are all brilliant and I will not share them with anyone.
posted by dead cousin ted at 9:09 AM on February 10, 2011


I always thought it would be fun to make an account called "brotex", which would helpfully explain the finer points of site etiquette in the voice of a lacrosse-playing frat boy.

User: How much for a case of Natty Light?
brotex: $20, same as in town, bro.
posted by grouse at 9:09 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Rejected Douglas Coupland Novel
posted by hellojed at 9:13 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


I am totally comparing suggestions here to the usernames used to suggest them and getting most of my amusement in this thread from that.

Jesus Christ Superstar Me Kitten
posted by norm at 9:16 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


I mentioned in a past thread that I wish my username was "four out of five dentists." My AskMe advice would sound so much more authoritative, and people would shorten it to FOOFD.

Instead, I'm stuck with a bad case of l'esprit d'username, and a name from the video game I was playing at the time. If I had signed up earlier or later, I might have been Rydia or Bubble Man or Fat Ice Hockey Guys.

Also, brotex sounds like a super-absorbency beer-scented tampon.
posted by Metroid Baby at 9:17 AM on February 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


Mayor Short and Curlies
posted by kuujjuarapik at 9:19 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Tod Lokken
posted by GuyZero at 9:20 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I AM YOUR LAWYER AND THIS IS FREE LEGAL ADVICE

BOARD CERTIFIED PHYSICIAN
posted by GuyZero at 9:21 AM on February 10, 2011 [7 favorites]


Mesothelioma-n-biscuits
posted by Burhanistan at 9:26 AM on February 10, 2011


Greg Nog: "I always thought it would be fun to make an account called "brotex", which would helpfully explain the finer points of site etiquette in the voice of a lacrosse-playing frat boy."

That's so bro !


Snark Police
Secret Asian Man
incoming freight train
this is my happy name
Stretch dude
clobber girl
slack jawed yokel
Token Pony
Toking Pony
Look mom, no beans!
brother from the same mother[ship]
posted by fizzix at 9:29 AM on February 10, 2011


**Special Snowflake**
posted by Wolfster at 9:33 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


A-Seeker-Born-Every-Minute
posted by philip-random at 9:34 AM on February 10, 2011


Here's a video of Cortex and Jessamyn reading off a bunch of user name suggestions.

My personal favorite user name I'll never use: "Hunch McCoon, Cave Engineer." A nine-year-old thought that one up while she was making up a story.

Closely followed by "Osteo Vivaldi", coined by same nine-year-old.
posted by marxchivist at 9:34 AM on February 10, 2011 [11 favorites]


Special Snowflake #2471 Rev. B
posted by Mister_A at 9:35 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Osama Ben Franklin.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 9:35 AM on February 10, 2011 [12 favorites]


SnarkMonkey or SnarkMaster
posted by Lynsey at 9:35 AM on February 10, 2011


The following are, remarkably, still unclaimed:

englishowie
historyowie
frechowie
spanishowie
physicaleducationowie

And probably many more.
posted by googly at 9:36 AM on February 10, 2011 [12 favorites]


candygram
posted by Miko at 9:36 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


What would happen if someone registered a fake mod-like name: jesssamyn or cotrex or matthowie? (I know there was a mathovvie whose account was disabled, but was that just because of the username?)

I've considered registering "drawn onward." Or "drawn onward, drawn onward."
posted by John Cohen at 9:39 AM on February 10, 2011


Elephants Gerald
posted by emelenjr at 9:40 AM on February 10, 2011 [9 favorites]


I'm not asking people to reveal sockpuppet accounts --- Can I, then?
posted by crunchland at 9:41 AM on February 10, 2011


There's a huge reddit sub-culture with novelty account names, so for a few laughs, here is a thread with a lot of them.
posted by DreamerFi at 9:42 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


diversionary thread.
posted by clavdivs at 9:43 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I don't know so much about novelty names, but what man alive wouldn't want to be called Rockwell C Bonecutter?
posted by MuffinMan at 9:46 AM on February 10, 2011


The mods in my head are called mattphooey, cortex-mex, jessasmint and pbandj.


Oh, and vacapicklepimentoloaf.
posted by Sir Cholmondeley at 9:46 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


The Nightmare from Mathowie's Closet

Ain't No Party Like a Cortex Party Because a Cortex Party Don't Stop

Jessamyn's CPR Practice Dummy
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:47 AM on February 10, 2011


As I just finished reading it, I'd probably lift wholesale from the names in The Crying of Lot 49, mostly wonderful puns.

Some top choices:

Oedipa
OedipaMaas
PlayerinTheParanoids
Inverarity
WeAwaitSilentTristerosEmpire
DrHilarius
YoyodyneEmployee
SanNarciscoResident
Driblette
GenghisCohen
Graffito
MaxwellsDemon
posted by bearwife at 9:48 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'll just list all my drag/burlesque names that I'll have no opportunity to use:

Penny Dreadful
Tara Stroika
Joy Gevalt
Elven Costello
posted by piratebowling at 9:49 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


nomadicink
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:50 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


oh, wait.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:50 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Leonid Taranenko
Pyrros Dimas
Hossein Rezazadeh
Vasily Alexeev
posted by Anatoly Pisarenko at 9:55 AM on February 10, 2011


Is this where I note that I laugh at this and this every time I see them?
posted by DU at 9:57 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Piratebowling, I've often said my Vegas burlesque name would be Penny Slott
posted by pointystick at 10:00 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I once tried to snap up amoral remora for a jokey comment, but it didn't stick.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:08 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


DeletedByTheMods
posted by elder18 at 10:08 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Little Oprahn Fannie
Auto-Tune Makes Baby Jesus Cry
The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel
Dentist to the Royals
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 10:12 AM on February 10, 2011


Boy George Michael Jackson Brown
posted by DWRoelands at 10:12 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Start Here

My contribution: A Mingle Of Vegans
posted by The Whelk at 10:17 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Cartoon ! ! !
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 10:17 AM on February 10, 2011


East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '95-'97.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:18 AM on February 10, 2011 [16 favorites]


Oh and Coney Island Cupcake
posted by The Whelk at 10:18 AM on February 10, 2011


Sarah Palin, Lady Gaga and Julian Assange should prove popular. And Ray Charles.
posted by DU at 10:19 AM on February 10, 2011


Trust me, I'm a doctor.
posted by From Bklyn at 10:19 AM on February 10, 2011


I'm a locksmith, and I'm a locksmith.
posted by Mister_A at 10:20 AM on February 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


Lady Julian Palin, Mistress Of The Snark.
posted by The Whelk at 10:21 AM on February 10, 2011


Edgar Winter's Missing Melanin Jam Band
posted by Mister_A at 10:22 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Screee |-o-| eeeee!
posted by yeti at 10:23 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Also this spectacular comment made me wish I had a band in need of a name but it works as well here:

butt-licking dogs and frolicking ponies
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 10:23 AM on February 10, 2011


I always thought it would be fun to make an account called "Breau Brummel" and give Regency sartorial advice in the voice of a kegstanding fratboy.

Also instead of "cool story bro" my snarky catchphrase would be "A RIPPING GOOD YARN, OLD CHAP!"


You may have to physically restain me from doing this, mods.
posted by The Whelk at 10:24 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Spaceman Spliff
Pubic Moose
Ironic Hedgehog
TURK 183
posted by scrump at 10:25 AM on February 10, 2011


I played some sort of online game once, maybe boggle, against the username BUTTSEX IN AMERICA in all caps like that and I noted it down for future use.
posted by ORthey at 10:29 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


posted by jesscortowie at 12:28 PM on February 10 [+] [!]<br><br><br>
posted by kmz at 10:29 AM on February 10, 2011


Area 50
posted by Mister_A at 10:30 AM on February 10, 2011


The Locally Notorious
posted by The World Famous at 10:30 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


You can get awesome fodder for usernames (and much more besides) by clicking the "Random Article" link on Wikipedia. Like:

Seagull Express 2
Esaias Boursse
Line out
Hausdorff space
Maltese Premier League 1926–27
Great Snipe
Drag (route)
posted by ErikaB at 10:34 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


That could be a fine Boggle grid.
B U T T
M E I S
A R C E
N I X A
posted by Wolfdog at 10:36 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


My arse is so hairy I can't shit
posted by Jofus at 10:38 AM on February 10, 2011


GenghisCohen

Ooh, I think I'll use that.
posted by John Cohen at 10:41 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've got a list of these I keep in a private place here on the site.

If nobody claims Bourbon McKeebler and starts posting purple thriller-novel-prose comments soon I might have to move on that one. Agent McKeebler has been waiting for someone to pick him up far too long now.

And if I had far too much time on my hands I'd go for an It's Raining Florence Henderson-esque AskMe troll pair called

the angel on your right shoulder
&
the devil on your left shoulder

But I don't, so hey.
posted by carsonb at 10:41 AM on February 10, 2011


Firedick Clusterfuck
posted by exogenous at 10:41 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


You'll never get sick of a pun.
posted by box at 10:43 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I came really close to Brand New Daying for no particular reason except that I really liked this one, but now I'm too attached to being SpiffyRob to let it go, so:

A Rollicking Band of Pirates, WHEEEEE!
posted by SpiffyRob at 10:47 AM on February 10, 2011


(Shortened as ARBoP Dub, of course.)
posted by SpiffyRob at 10:47 AM on February 10, 2011


Nipsey Russell Stover
posted by heyho at 10:51 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


I played some sort of online game once, maybe boggle, against the username BUTTSEX IN AMERICA in all caps like that and I noted it down for future use.

You might prevail in a skirmish or two but in the long run you'll never defeat BUTTSEX IN AMERICA.
posted by vapidave at 10:52 AM on February 10, 2011


Schmutzypants
posted by Jofus at 10:53 AM on February 10, 2011


I've been toying with this one for a while, but I'm finally willing to admit that I'm not going to fork over another $5 for a sockpuppet, so here it is (as recommended by diogenes):

Thud Mollockle
posted by specialagentwebb at 10:59 AM on February 10, 2011


metatalk mccirclejerk
posted by doublesix at 11:01 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


God I hope the trend for "funny" usernames dies soon.
posted by The Bizzaro Whelk at 11:01 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Anyone who'd name themselves doctor_positive would have to be a complete ass.
posted by doctor_negative at 11:04 AM on February 10, 2011


mathortexammyn
posted by dflemingecon at 11:06 AM on February 10, 2011


quintana poltroon.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:09 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Tielle Diarre.
posted by mintcake! at 11:11 AM on February 10, 2011


Tulle and Dye Man.
posted by The Whelk at 11:12 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


An Awkward Regatta
posted by The Whelk at 11:12 AM on February 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


The Garden Party By Katherine Mansfield
posted by The Whelk at 11:13 AM on February 10, 2011


I've always like Fartulencia Velour.

This also reminds me of THE WORLD'S BEST DRAG QUEEN NAME, Ophelia Balzac. She was active in Philly in the late nineties, so you can't have that one, but man alive, is there anything better?
posted by Admiral Haddock at 11:14 AM on February 10, 2011 [12 favorites]


The Syrtic Side Of Life.
posted by The Whelk at 11:14 AM on February 10, 2011


The Brandon Blatchelor.
posted by mintcake! at 11:14 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


A Username Called Desire.
posted by The Whelk at 11:15 AM on February 10, 2011


Bad Tattoo Support Group
posted by Mister_A at 11:17 AM on February 10, 2011


Mitchell!!
posted by DiscourseMarker at 11:17 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


JULIO BATMAN TOUCHDOWN
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:17 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Voltron Sucks!
posted by Mister_A at 11:18 AM on February 10, 2011


Juan Epstein's Mutha
posted by DiscourseMarker at 11:19 AM on February 10, 2011


Deadly Dictionary

Not Just Any Mimir

Delusions of Sandler
posted by The Whelk at 11:19 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Shatter The Illusion Of Integrity, Yeah.
posted by mintcake! at 11:21 AM on February 10, 2011


WATCHOUT |-O-| BIGGSY!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:21 AM on February 10, 2011


Not Banksy
posted by The Whelk at 11:22 AM on February 10, 2011


American Taco Baseball
posted by The World Famous at 11:23 AM on February 10, 2011


LOL'ing at Delusions of Sandler...

Fetzer Valve
Presentation Layer Developer
I Will Not Buy This Record
I Recommend Cloud Atlas
posted by Mister_A at 11:23 AM on February 10, 2011


Shaftsbury Tonite!
posted by The Whelk at 11:23 AM on February 10, 2011


Damn These Birds!!!
posted by Mister_A at 11:24 AM on February 10, 2011


The White Coat
The White Whale
The White Flight
The White Guilt
The White Wash
posted by The White Hat at 11:25 AM on February 10, 2011


Wide Stance

(seriously no one has this yet?)

Lift My Luggage
posted by Mister_A at 11:26 AM on February 10, 2011


lalochezia addict

Angry Bird Wild Animal Rescue And Recovery.
posted by The Whelk at 11:26 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I may use some of these for my racehorses.
posted by Mister_A at 11:26 AM on February 10, 2011


Earlier this week, I came up with one from this story (which I mentioned in this thread):

Bankrupt Airline Peanuts ★


I had another that I'd forgotten I'd used as my email handle when posting anonymously that I almost just listed here, which would have been embarrassing if anybody who happened to read AskMe had a good memory... which is a lot of you.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:27 AM on February 10, 2011


Animal, Vegetable, or Minnie Pearl?
posted by Mister_A at 11:28 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Spumoni Milano
Natalie Portmanteau
posted by Jpfed at 11:29 AM on February 10, 2011


Lady BlahBlah
Anal Sex Loophole
Leibniz's Windowless Gonads
Whereof One Cannot Speak One Must Be Violent
Englebert Humperdinck is a Government Conspiracy
Hugh Hefner's Pendulous Balls
Pants are a Government Conspiracy
The Memories of Your Awkward Sexual Experiences
Everything Is All There Is
Tautologies Are For Pussies
I Was the Turkey All Along
I Gave a Slow Loris an Onanism
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:33 AM on February 10, 2011 [8 favorites]


Wu-Tang Clannad
Stately Plump Buck Mulligan
Anonymous Guru
668, the neighbour of the Beast
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 11:33 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]



Declaration ex Cathedra

Liz Lemon's Long Suffering PA

At last, Dystopia!

Four For Famine

Gang of S'mores
posted by The Whelk at 11:33 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


God's Easter Egg.

Richard Kelly's Drug Connection.

EMBRACE THE RAINBOW OF PAIN
posted by The Whelk at 11:34 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Kimberly Clark
posted by ctmf at 11:35 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Julie Taymore's Sense Of Self Importance.
posted by The Whelk at 11:37 AM on February 10, 2011


and, from today:

Flesh Eating Clock.
posted by The Whelk at 11:38 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Testicular Bunnicula
posted by orville sash at 11:38 AM on February 10, 2011


Heidelberg Hoboken

Bayonne Bayonne
posted by Mister_A at 11:38 AM on February 10, 2011


Breatharian Beat Manifesto
posted by Burhanistan at 11:39 AM on February 10, 2011


A Stan For Every Man
posted by The Whelk at 11:39 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Spider- Ass
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:41 AM on February 10, 2011


The Federal Department of YOU SUCK
posted by The Whelk at 11:41 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


/b/
posted by Mister_A at 11:41 AM on February 10, 2011


Joan Crawford Was Right!
posted by Mister_A at 11:42 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hand crafted limited batch spam
posted by The Whelk at 11:43 AM on February 10, 2011


UPS Tracking Number 24601

555-2368
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:44 AM on February 10, 2011


I'll Turn This Car Around!
posted by Mister_A at 11:44 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Something Something Nice Ass Something
posted by The Whelk at 11:44 AM on February 10, 2011


Mod Podge Facelift
Combustible Swann Lake
Pavarotti's Stunt Double
Never a Frown with Molton Brown
There's no 't' in China
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 11:45 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Gordon Ramsay's Inner Child
posted by Mister_A at 11:46 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


An Imbroglio Against Time
posted by kaspen at 11:53 AM on February 10, 2011


And I will so be Jeroboam p.i., I will!
posted by kaspen at 11:54 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


a womble is an inactive kind of sloth
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 11:55 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Umberto Echo Chamber
posted by milquetoast at 11:55 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


This.
posted by zarq at 11:57 AM on February 10, 2011


Something Something Nice Ass Something

Thanks?
posted by something something at 11:58 AM on February 10, 2011 [18 favorites]


Parenthetical Bracketed Labialesque
posted by Burhanistan at 11:58 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Just call me Yhova.
posted by Sailormom at 12:00 PM on February 10, 2011


Is That Velvet?
posted by Mister_A at 12:02 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I turn to great literature in times of need. The highlights from Melville Likes Your Beard might make for some fine usernames:
  • suburbs of the chin
  • homeward-bounders
  • long, trailing moss hanging from the bough of some aged oak
  • Winnebago locks
  • rebellious bristles
  • redundant mops
  • plantations of hair
  • whiskerandoes
  • the fleece
  • fine tassels
  • admiral's pennant
  • muzzle-lashings
posted by safetyfork at 12:02 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Back in the dawn of time, I was going to be either George Psalmanazar or William-Henry Ireland.
posted by thomas j wise at 12:02 PM on February 10, 2011


I've used mildlypeevedcow before, but not here.
posted by Karmakaze at 12:05 PM on February 10, 2011


l'esprit d'username
posted by quiet coyote at 12:05 PM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Magnum P.I.G.
posted by theredpen at 12:10 PM on February 10, 2011


My arse is so hairy I can't shit
posted by Jofus


I think you want Ask Metafilter. We're talking about fun usernames here.
posted by marxchivist at 12:11 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Magnum Pee Eye
posted by The World Famous at 12:12 PM on February 10, 2011


George Herbert Walker Bush West

Or just August West (with the space this time!! (Ugh.)
posted by AugustWest at 12:15 PM on February 10, 2011


Cloud In Pants
My Sister Life
I've often considered registering these two as sockpuppet accounts, but I just don't have $5 to spend on a joke account.

I've also considered the following:

palimplasts
Comrade Mauser
The Old Woman
Comrade Nette, the ship
Truth and Method

They are all yours now, though.
posted by daniel_charms at 12:18 PM on February 10, 2011


Extra Technical Virgin Olive Oil
posted by allen.spaulding at 12:18 PM on February 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


They are all yours now, though.

Except, of course, Europa.
posted by daniel_charms at 12:19 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


"Boy" George Herbert "Sumlin" "Sky" Walker "Texas Ranger" Bush "Pilot"

Pope John Paul George Ringo
posted by The World Famous at 12:20 PM on February 10, 2011


I've thought it might be fun to take a name that, when quoted, makes me look more authoritative. Something like;

The person who wrote this comment is brilliant and completely correct
posted by quin at 12:22 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Salve Regina Spektor
sad trombone
That's Numberwang!
posted by ApathyGirl at 12:25 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I Can't Believe It's Not Cortex
posted by The Bellman at 12:27 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


okapi
posted by giraffe at 12:27 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I've thought it might be fun to take a name that, when quoted, makes me look more authoritative. Something like;

The person who wrote this comment is brilliant and completely correct


What you want is username: the world's foremost authority on the subject.

as in:

posted by the world's foremost authority on the subject at 12:29 PM on February 10 [+][!]
posted by The World Famous at 12:28 PM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


The Crimson Permanent Assurance
Tap Water Zombie
Baryonyx
Quick, Henry, the Flit!
Suspicious Moo
Jung Beetle
My Fucking Monocle
JonBenet’s Bustier
Axis of Eels
The Last Days of Crisco

Also, Black Sundae, which is something that I like to use here and there for various things so please don't steal it!
posted by brundlefly at 12:30 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


MetaFilter Unregistered Username
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:31 PM on February 10, 2011


laidoffant
posted by workerant at 12:34 PM on February 10, 2011


100k reserved
posted by clearly at 12:35 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


dirty numb bagel boy.
posted by special-k at 12:35 PM on February 10, 2011 [14 favorites]


Anne of Cleves.
posted by orrnyereg at 12:38 PM on February 10, 2011


> 668, the neighbour of the Beast

My tallest friend describes his height as "Six foot Six and a half, the Height of the Beast" (or sometimes, 5'19").
posted by troika at 12:44 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


cute little Billy Henderson, age 4
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:53 PM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


posted by on
posted by ignignokt at 12:54 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh, if I ever do register "cute little Billy Henderson, age 4" I'm going to use it exclusively for spewing profane-riddled tirades and jeering at flame-outs. And no one will ever know it is me, or associate it with my more respectable primary account.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:56 PM on February 10, 2011


Oh, wait.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:56 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Whoa, - is taken, but it looks like a whole lot of other punctuation is still there for the taking!
posted by ignignokt at 12:57 PM on February 10, 2011


I wish I'd known I could have spaces in my name when I joined (despite having lurked for a couple months and reading names with spaces in them...), so I could've come up with something a little more snappy. On the other hand, just being Heretical is simple and elegant.

I have various other usernames that are hilarious, but they're from another life. I can however share:

Hand Over the Chocolate

(a common phrase of my father, who is the biggest chocolate whore in the family.)
posted by Heretical at 12:57 PM on February 10, 2011


GODDAMMIT!!!
posted by cute little Billy Henderson, age 4 at 12:59 PM on February 10, 2011 [6 favorites]


I downloaded an old copy of SimCity 2000 for a long plane ride recently and it has a lot of gems:

Stimpleton
Industrial Thingamajig
Narwhal 3000
Braun Llama Dome
YOU WILL REGRET THIS
posted by Rhaomi at 1:02 PM on February 10, 2011




Does it count that I named the kitten who showed up, cold and starving, on my front stoop a few months ago "Much?"

Egil of Green Gables
Vikings Did Not Have Horns on Their Helmets
Eau d'Harkarl
Tallulah the Hun
posted by QIbHom at 1:03 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Christ, What an Asshole
posted by Confess, Fletch at 1:04 PM on February 10, 2011


Whoa, - is taken, but it looks like a whole lot of other punctuation is still there for the taking!

Not [!]

My suggestions:

Categorically denied man-eating badger

Obi Wan Kohlrabi

The incredible, the unstoppable, the post animal, metafilter user number one
posted by stet at 1:11 PM on February 10, 2011


Your Call Is Very Important To Us
Bring Out Your Dead
peterdavidmccallumkeithrennieharlanellisonwonderland
Look Skyward, Moron!
668 The Neighbor of the Beast
666B The Tenant of the Beast
ABC, 333, Eric the Half-a-Beast
Bast's Litter Box
In the car, out of the car, I really don't care
Ask or Guess
Cops Didn't See It, I Didn't Do It
You Can't Prove Anything
Interrobong
George Bernard Shaw Fell Out of a Tree
I Have a Mitten and a Chicken Puppet
Balloonium Foil
Cheetos and Chopsticks
Scrip Kiddie
Script Kitty
Fuckin' HTML
Haikuna Matata
AEIOU and Sometimes Y
That's Big Boo-TAY!
Nobody Gets Out of Here Alive
Ceci n'est pas un nom d'usage
TEA MUGS!
I Don't Have Time For This
Itchy
There is no I in my username... oh, dammit!
ducks have no respect for the law

I could go on and on... hey! That could be a great username!
posted by tzikeh at 1:12 PM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


posted by:


posted by: posted by: posted by: posted by: posted by:
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 1:13 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


My tallest friend describes his height as "Six foot Six and a half, the Height of the Beast" (or sometimes, 5'19").

I'm asked my height way too often and if I'm grumpy I also answer 5'19" Sadly people rarely get it. I'll have to start using The Height of The Beast as well.

And back on-topic, a few other places I'm Spanky McSpankShanker.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 1:14 PM on February 10, 2011


One more:

Best. Username. Ever.
posted by tzikeh at 1:14 PM on February 10, 2011


Buddy Emmons
hitlertron 5000
Michael Pollan's Big Mac
The Jimi Hendrix Brand Experience
posted by stet at 1:18 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


ND$
posted by ColdChef at 1:27 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Since 'trunk muffins' is taken (heh):

Trunk scones
Trunk biscuits
Foreskin
Declawed
Blood diamond
Conflict diamond
Obesity
posted by fixedgear at 1:35 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yelling On A Trampoline!
posted by The Whelk at 1:36 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


posted by SEVEN PROXIES! You can't prove anything!
posted by daniel_charms at 1:36 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Alignment: Chaotic Internet
posted by The Whelk at 1:43 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Slapdash at Dawn
posted by Namlit at 1:44 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


and of course Buzz Light Beer
posted by Namlit at 1:46 PM on February 10, 2011


Anil Semicolon
posted by scrump at 1:54 PM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Take it to MeTa
posted by clearly at 1:54 PM on February 10, 2011


What Time Is It?
posted by The Whelk at 1:55 PM on February 10, 2011


Velour Revolution.
posted by The Whelk at 1:56 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Too Clever By Half
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:14 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Mathowiemandel
posted by timsteil at 2:15 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Youshallknowusbyourtrailofcheetocrumbs
posted by timsteil at 2:16 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I've thought if someone wanted impersonate someone, they could try a username such as "cortex at" and see how many respondents' eyes skip over the second "at" in the posted by line.
posted by fings at 2:19 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Don't Wang Me Bro!
posted by Mister_A at 2:21 PM on February 10, 2011


c0rtex
posted by special-k at 2:22 PM on February 10, 2011


Chefowie
posted by special-k at 2:22 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


The Next Mod
posted by The Whelk at 2:24 PM on February 10, 2011


Buffalo Familiar
posted by keli at 2:25 PM on February 10, 2011


Zombie Bot Army (in the heart of the internet)
posted by The Whelk at 2:27 PM on February 10, 2011


Surly Temple
posted by elizardbits at 2:34 PM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Rob Roy Rage.
posted by The Whelk at 2:40 PM on February 10, 2011


Justice Antonin "Tony Bones" Scalia
Pants Pleat Imbroglio
THE PUBLISHED SCIENTIFIC PAPERS OF JAMES CLERK MAXWELL
Rear Admiral Malaise
Stop Hitting Yourself
Marechal Petain's Jaunty Hat
posted by killdevil at 2:45 PM on February 10, 2011


Specimyn
pb&j
cortextmessage
flapjaxbeforebreakfast
beanplated
TheLawrenceWhelk
AssJitteringChattle
Mister_Achievment
BitterOldSpunk
IcanseeClearlyNow
Prefixedgear
Namblit
stet's son's hat
The Bellman Always Posts Twice
wankerant
daniel_lucky_charms
brudleflyisopen
Hooray for Captain Allen Spaulding
ErikaBadu
Marlon Brando Blatcher
Necessity is the Ends of Invention
Helga woo-woo Wickers
The Tonight Show with Johnny Carsonb
My Dick in a box
Confess PopeFletcher
The MasterCard_cheat
How are fings withy you?
daniel_charmschool (heh, smile, charmschool)
Christ What A timsteil
cute little billy henderson, how I hate him
The World Famous Amos
Rear Admiral Haddock's Rear
ZeppoMarxchivist
Hereticalvetica
My Rhaomi has a first name
Bhurnistan Laurel
posted by timsteil at 2:50 PM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


James Burke's Informative Digressions.
posted by The Whelk at 2:50 PM on February 10, 2011


Captain Alfred Dreyfus And The Romper Room Surprise
posted by killdevil at 2:50 PM on February 10, 2011


highland cows are so emo
i am a librarian, but i'm not your librarian
The Average Bear

(That last one is actually my trivia team name. Sometimes people are smarter than our team, but rarely.)
posted by MsMolly at 2:55 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


[more inside]
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:56 PM on February 10, 2011


'zat you?
posted by Burhanistan at 2:58 PM on February 10, 2011


Mats-Ola
posted by mazola at 2:59 PM on February 10, 2011


E pluribus ad hominem
posted by MsMolly at 2:59 PM on February 10, 2011


Dewey Decibel
posted by mazola at 2:59 PM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


mental note: search *before* posting.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:00 PM on February 10, 2011


Peter Panic
posted by mazola at 3:00 PM on February 10, 2011


Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
posted by mazola at 3:01 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


We're listing stage names we used to use, right?
posted by mazola at 3:01 PM on February 10, 2011


Johnny Panama

seriously
posted by The Whelk at 3:04 PM on February 10, 2011


Lowell Butts.

Robocop's childhood wheel.
posted by The Whelk at 3:05 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


A vast swarm of bees.
posted by The Whelk at 3:05 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


The 9th Rule of Fight Club
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:07 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Überdenker
Bohnenteller
posted by Namlit at 3:09 PM on February 10, 2011


"Updog" would be a great name, but I don't think people would know what it is :(
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:09 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I have a small collection, stashed on my profile page:

Bag-a-Banthas- an eggcorn of sorts, jumbling the sounds of agapanthus

Peggy Bacon in mid-air, or Bacon Backflip

Chimp Champ CHOMP! -- adorable (super)monkey's super power

Son, I Crush

Needlemouse

Loopholes in everything, loopholes for everything

The lord of Three Prosperities and the nine hells (misquoting from The Windup Girl)

The Road that is not a Trail

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner, or winnerwinnerchickendinner
posted by filthy light thief at 3:12 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Mos Def Leppard
Throat Culture Club
Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad
posted by elizardbits at 3:18 PM on February 10, 2011


.
posted by bru at 3:21 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I don't have the coordination required for roller derby or being a drag queen. Someone else take Rue McSlamahan and make her awesome.
posted by cmyk at 3:28 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Velour Revolver
posted by EvaDestruction at 3:31 PM on February 10, 2011


A Lone Tweet In The Dark
posted by The Whelk at 3:32 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


hitlertron 5000

Thou hast been beaten to the punch.
posted by adamdschneider at 3:34 PM on February 10, 2011


The Inimitable, 2
posted by Paragon at 3:35 PM on February 10, 2011


That's right, Agnes Mulgrew.
posted by The Whelk at 3:35 PM on February 10, 2011


Your Actual Mother
posted by davidjmcgee at 3:38 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


i know who you are and i saw what you did
posted by The Whelk at 3:40 PM on February 10, 2011


TheGirlAboveYou
posted by Namlit at 3:43 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Phasers Set To Stunning
posted by Splunge at 3:48 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Diffuse Footnote
Klehw Eht
Yes A Mine
Goretex
MahTowel
CrayfishSandal
posted by Namlit at 3:48 PM on February 10, 2011


Tu Quoque Clav Divs
posted by Namlit at 3:50 PM on February 10, 2011


drjimmy12
drjimmy13
drjimmy14
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:51 PM on February 10, 2011


The Inimitable, 2

The Thamesmen.
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:52 PM on February 10, 2011


Quis mods ipsos mods?
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:53 PM on February 10, 2011


drjimmy17
posted by mazola at 3:54 PM on February 10, 2011


djrimmy12
posted by box at 3:55 PM on February 10, 2011


flapjax at noon
posted by woodblock100 at 3:55 PM on February 10, 2011


flapjaxorbettertoopen
posted by timsteil at 3:58 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


drjimmyandmisterjimwhenimpilledyoudontnoticehimheonlycomesoutwhenidrinkmygin
posted by fixedgear at 3:59 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Mama Said Knock You Out Of The Park And Ride My Pony Express Yourself Or Someone Like You
posted by Burhanistan at 4:02 PM on February 10, 2011


East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '95-'97

I like the idea of East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion 90-93,95-97. Like, for years there has been this kid who is just a dominant force in the East Manitoba regional junior Kabaddi leagues. Taking on all comers and sending them home crying like the sniveling weaklings they are. Anywhere from Kelsey to Port Nelson where Kabaddi is played he is talked of in hushed tones. Then one year, in '94, a stranger came into town...
posted by markr at 4:06 PM on February 10, 2011 [13 favorites]


Intensive Porpoises
posted by 2bucksplus at 4:06 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Me, Myself and I Me Mine
posted by box at 4:07 PM on February 10, 2011


You And Me And Penguin Napoleon.
posted by The Whelk at 4:13 PM on February 10, 2011


A previous email address of a friend:

thehumanbodyisamiserablefuckingprison@[something].com
posted by mahershalal at 4:21 PM on February 10, 2011


This thread has been Puppytons of Fun!
posted by marxchivist at 4:25 PM on February 10, 2011


$5 And All I Got Was This Stupid Username.
posted by Hwin at 4:26 PM on February 10, 2011


One Wish Remains
posted by LogicalDash at 4:34 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


The new Iain M. Banks novel will be a bit crowded. Its title? Puppytons of Fun (in Space).
posted by Dumsnill at 4:37 PM on February 10, 2011


After a heavy bout of Hardcore History, I jotted down a few mis-heard Roman names:

Pet Roark
Skippy O
Sofa Cleese
Hannah Bull

Turns out though upon googling, there are quite a few women out there named Hannah Bull, already.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:38 PM on February 10, 2011


After mishearing the name of my friend's fraternity me and some other folks coined the name Sick Manoo which would be hilarious to a few people and possibly interesting to a few others. Actually though I think if I had another user name, it would be, simply, aroo.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:43 PM on February 10, 2011


aroo?
posted by The Whelk at 4:47 PM on February 10, 2011


Perhaps some literary references:

BLACKSTONE! WILLIAM BLACKSTONE!
Hugh, old chap
Los Manos de Orlac
The Consul
MyNameIsInigoMontoyaPrepareToDie
O. Fortuna
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:47 PM on February 10, 2011


Oh! I forgot about the totally obvious sockpuppet I would get (if I were to get such a thing):

iratetrolling
posted by piratebowling at 4:50 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


This list has some pretty great names.

I was hoping this would be some kind of "You can have that name you always wanted, but someone wasted when they didn't finish registration" festival. I miss you, username Torgo.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:50 PM on February 10, 2011


BIG MCLARGEHUGE
posted by The Whelk at 4:52 PM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


I Coulda Used This Thread About A Month Ago
posted by wallabear at 4:58 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


To quote some guy on CNN just now:

Breaking News All Over the Place.
posted by Dumsnill at 5:02 PM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Bloody Sundae.

Jimmy Two-Times Jimmy Two-Times.

Garage D'or. (I think this was an album?)

Big Oil.

The gentle science of bearpunching.
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 5:03 PM on February 10, 2011


Dogtullus
posted by Namlit at 5:06 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


art.of.muffuletta
posted by box at 5:09 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Tullus Hostilius
posted by Dumsnill at 5:10 PM on February 10, 2011


LeftAWeekOnTheCounterYumYum

dumped the moldy food already
posted by Namlit at 5:16 PM on February 10, 2011


* pate on plate
* tacos are great
* you are never friendless with a pick up truck
posted by jadepearl at 5:21 PM on February 10, 2011


not_such_a_great_idea
posted by Namlit at 5:27 PM on February 10, 2011


Phil Colons
posted by drinkyclown at 5:33 PM on February 10, 2011


Soybomb
posted by box at 5:34 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I just leafed through Burroughs (W.) and grouped words in units of three.
posted by ersatz at 5:40 PM on February 10, 2011


Rural Juror
posted by Hlewagast at 5:41 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


accident

hand

fifty ants jumping up and down on a computer keyboard

a bunch of very grateful sentient tomatoes taking a breather after completing their third opera
posted by rjs at 6:00 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Mythical Ethical Recycle Tricycle

The Emergency Crew
posted by fixedgear at 6:11 PM on February 10, 2011


Monster Cock
posted by Burhanistan at 6:18 PM on February 10, 2011


zitterbewegung
posted by ennui.bz at 6:22 PM on February 10, 2011


Kitschrdämmerung
posted by The Whelk at 6:27 PM on February 10, 2011


P.F. Porlock
L.O. Speranza
posted by steambadger at 6:31 PM on February 10, 2011


Lo, the Hippies.

Hark, Thundering Dorks.
posted by The Whelk at 6:41 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


A Raven With A Writing Desk.
posted by The Whelk at 6:41 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]



Monster Cock

Twelve Inch Rooster
posted by The Whelk at 6:42 PM on February 10, 2011


Lionel "Guilty" Cosgrave
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:43 PM on February 10, 2011


Wild Babies Ate My Dingo!
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:46 PM on February 10, 2011


All these usernames are yours except Sue Roper.
posted by Dr. Zira at 6:49 PM on February 10, 2011


Mr. Draper's Sad Little Shot Glass.

Buffy Summers' Bouncy Hair.

Casey Klein's Abused Cell Phone.

Pam's Pumps.

Hank's Neckerchief.

Mrs. Hill's Secret Shoes.

Omar's Jacket.

Kaylee's Fancy Dress.

Miss Mars' Smartphone

Mr. Bluth's Expensive Suit
posted by The Whelk at 6:52 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Captain Horatio Foamblower

usually it's the guy running the Instapak machine at work
posted by Confess, Fletch at 7:03 PM on February 10, 2011


lotuseater
posted by exlotuseater at 7:17 PM on February 10, 2011


I kind of wish I'd thought to put a space in my username. It's madcap tenor, not mad capten or.
posted by madcaptenor at 7:21 PM on February 10, 2011


Amharic
posted by aramaic at 7:25 PM on February 10, 2011


I will always be jonmc
posted by jonmc at 7:28 PM on February 10, 2011


Amharic

wow....my daughter is actually learning that as we speak
posted by timsteil at 7:39 PM on February 10, 2011


"I will always be jonmc" would be a pretty good username.
posted by adamdschneider at 7:43 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I will always be (adj) kind to a fault, much too kind(-hearted); T soft.

Damn you, Norsk-Engelsk Stor Ordbok, andre utgave, sjette opplag, ®Kunnskapsforlaget, page 255, main writer Willy A. Kirkeby.
posted by Dumsnill at 7:44 PM on February 10, 2011


Jonmc's Secret Disco Collection.
posted by The Whelk at 7:54 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ricky Martin Luther Vandross
posted by heyho at 8:05 PM on February 10, 2011


Leslie Gore Vidal Sassoon
posted by heyho at 8:06 PM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


I kind of wish I'd thought to put a space in my username. It's madcap tenor, not mad capten or.

Oh. I really thought this was somehow a play on mercaptan, which I think is an old-timey name for smelly sulfurous gasses.

Also,
Jumping Jerboa
Bladder Control Crest

I would urge any men's-rights troll to use either Mastercock or Logical Phallacy.
posted by Jpfed at 8:18 PM on February 10, 2011


LittleRichardSimmonsBeautyRestStop
posted by heyho at 8:20 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


used to be the tire king
sticky gecko toes have strong little hairs
bastard anonymous and chandelier boy
lots of countries have states that are united
i hope the trend for "funny" usernames dies soon

DU/DX
jonmc hammer
afrojudeo

thanks to mullac, who I lifted the "United States" line from
posted by Afroblanco at 8:44 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


the dread sorcerer Skeet Tsunami
posted by Nattie at 9:08 PM on February 10, 2011


aladdin nome sane

these premises are not particularly concerned
posted by Afroblanco at 9:09 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


piss on my stereo, couch, and wall
lion king, my ass!
posted by Afroblanco at 9:11 PM on February 10, 2011


Not Pirate Roberts.
posted by The Whelk at 9:16 PM on February 10, 2011


pork the militant armies of God

Thank you, spammer who sent that message to my friend. We've received years of amusement out of six words. Punctuate to taste.
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! at 9:24 PM on February 10, 2011


This thread needs an owl
posted by The Whelk at 9:47 PM on February 10, 2011


u2604aa
u2604ac
u2604ad
...
posted by u2604ab at 9:47 PM on February 10, 2011


Either "So it shall be written, so it shall be done," "deus ex machinima" or "How ya like THEM apples?"
posted by Hardcore Poser at 9:54 PM on February 10, 2011


"Them apples" is even better.

Apples To Outrage.
posted by The Whelk at 9:56 PM on February 10, 2011


I have registered every account name I've ever thought of.

Except "never used blue suede shoes."
posted by Eideteker at 10:16 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


mail

as in: "posted by mail at..."

Comments from this account would always show up about 2-3 weeks after the conversation.
posted by Eideteker at 10:17 PM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


T, Inc.
posted by Eideteker at 10:17 PM on February 10, 2011


add to favorites
posted by azpenguin at 10:31 PM on February 10, 2011


that's what you said about the hamster (or don't you remember the hamster?)
no, mister jagger, time is most certainly not on your side
penguins can't fly, but neither can you
love among the lepers
nobody talks about gomorrahmy anymore
largest member of the weasel family
ayn rand's medicare card
glacier attack
jesus loves you but he's not in love with you
posted by Afroblanco at 10:36 PM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Gluesniffing Civil Engineer
posted by Meatbomb at 10:39 PM on February 10, 2011


Xenophon "Batty" Yves-Grunner.

(he thought the Battery post cleaner was a fleshlight)
posted by clavdivs at 10:48 PM on February 10, 2011


Brian Epstein-Barr Virus
van Gogh-Gogh Girls
Lambert, Hendrix and Ross
Tony Bennett Cerf
Paul McCartney Before the Horseney
Aretha Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Marvin Gaye Talese
Ray Charles de Gaulle
van Gogh-Gogh Girls
Captain Beefheart Attack
Groucho Marxist
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:53 PM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


snowhuoue (inspired by uosuaq)
posted by russm at 10:56 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


dem·i·sem·i·qua·ver (n)
a note with the time value of one thirty-second of a whole note
posted by hapax_legomenon at 11:00 PM on February 10, 2011


Sallust Zeugma
posted by clavdivs at 11:38 PM on February 10, 2011


Fleish Bombe
posted by clavdivs at 11:40 PM on February 10, 2011


Baconator
posted by Glibpaxman at 12:13 AM on February 11, 2011


dem·i·sem·i·qua·ver (n)

It's already the name of a band, and the band is fronted by a voluptuous, Amazonesque singer named Emi Eleonola who will knock your muhfuggin socks off!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:15 AM on February 11, 2011


utf8=✓
posted by russm at 12:31 AM on February 11, 2011


imploding wooden avoidable
oakland RAID array
posted by Afroblanco at 12:56 AM on February 11, 2011


blandwoman (all lower case and no numbers)
posted by h00py at 1:02 AM on February 11, 2011


How about jessamon?

Her schtick can be like "I and I is closin' dis dread, mon"
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:50 AM on February 11, 2011 [5 favorites]


I think that this sounds like a good name for a very dapper porn actor, but it could be a good username as well:

Phillip Oliver O'Pennings
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 2:21 AM on February 11, 2011


"a specious stinkpot catchup"
or, "punk computes copycat"

(for a sockpuppet account, naturally)

or maybe "IANAL but I do it the regular way too", because I have a juvenile sense of humour.
posted by jonesor at 3:49 AM on February 11, 2011


I Dream of Wires
posted by Eideteker at 4:19 AM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Smatti Pith.
posted by thinkpiece at 4:44 AM on February 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


That's my favourite so far, thinkpiece.

The CBGB association had me thinking of...MC Jon.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:57 AM on February 11, 2011


Bomb Threat Sexual Harassment Resign
posted by box at 5:06 AM on February 11, 2011


Joruus
posted by Jorus at 5:40 AM on February 11, 2011


"'Smatti Pith.'

"That's my favourite so far, thinkpiece."

I give it a smattering of pithy applause.
posted by Eideteker at 6:16 AM on February 11, 2011


Asbestosis Mesothelioma Personal Injury Mortgage Credit Repair Loan McGill
posted by theora55 at 6:17 AM on February 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


A tip of my pith helmet for Smatti Pith.
posted by fixedgear at 6:19 AM on February 11, 2011


I guess most of mine have something to do with my dog, Clark W. Griswold. I call him:

CLARK!!!

13 Lbs. of Stupid

HANGRY (hungry + angry)

Beard-oid

Angry Squirrel

KITTY DOGGY (long story)

Mutt Butt

Chickenhead

Old Dan Tucker

Shit Storm (or Poo-nado)

Young Greezy

Snookie (They found him running up the Jersey Turnpike before I adopted him.)
posted by functionequalsform at 6:20 AM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Super Karate Monkey Death Car
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 8:54 AM on February 11, 2011


Sweetie Sweetie Sweetie!
posted by The Whelk at 8:56 AM on February 11, 2011


Call me Email
posted by theora55 at 9:07 AM on February 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


Nursling_Nihilanth
Petite_Penangaalan
Youngling_Yogsoggoth
Suckling_Succubus
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:20 AM on February 11, 2011


Despite my years of prodding, I don't think she'll ever join, so I offer up MetaCaulk to you all.
posted by iamkimiam at 9:50 AM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Three suggestions...

1.) posted by posted by at at

2.) Gotcha, you crafty Irish bastard!

And in honor of my small door-opening children who won't take their naps...

3.) Pop-blocked!
posted by codswallop at 10:33 AM on February 11, 2011


Smart Dalek II: I'm Alright, Jack and the Beanstalk
posted by Smart Dalek at 10:58 AM on February 11, 2011


Dubs Checkem
posted by dougrayrankin at 11:22 AM on February 11, 2011


2.) Gotcha, you crafty Irish bastard!
- that sounds really good actually !


also, I realized that: your + anything would work really well, including

future self, spouse, [have at it with this one too]
overlord
dog
deity
demigod
younger self

hot damn, craftmatic adjustable bed !

this smart alec
posted by fizzix at 11:26 AM on February 11, 2011


I hadn't realised le morte de bae arthur was a mathowie sockpuppet account. Stealthy work there - must be a nice payday with all those new usernames registered. Fair play. I maxed out my credit card at Pope Guilty Pleasure.
posted by Elmore at 12:09 PM on February 11, 2011


2 spaces, dammit
grocer's' apos'tropher
Wants a Pony (I signed up for this, but never paypalled)
We can haz cameraz.
I vibrates
Abortionist - Mohel - Feline Claw Remover
Cabalista
Metafilter's Own
posted by theora55 at 12:22 PM on February 11, 2011


also, apparently theora98 and theora14 are available.
posted by theora55 at 12:22 PM on February 11, 2011


Dad
posted by Mom at 12:23 PM on February 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


the bottom of The Whelk's barrel of funny usernames :(
posted by clavicle at 12:29 PM on February 11, 2011


Wibbler
Bucket of clams
Slappy mauve
Clavdivs, world of destroyers
Rich and creamy sauce
Jubilex, the faceless lord
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:11 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Drunk at Work
posted by functionequalsform at 1:28 PM on February 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Secret World of Alex Mack, The
posted by odinsdream at 1:33 PM on February 11, 2011


Never to be used sockpuppet cache inspired by my favorite show when I was 5:

Bubble Headed Booby
Crush! Kill! Destroy!
That Does Not Compute
Danger Danger Will Robinson!
posted by aught at 2:00 PM on February 11, 2011


Facehugger Sneetch
posted by Mister_A at 2:13 PM on February 11, 2011


Checkemout Linx
posted by Namlit at 2:25 PM on February 11, 2011


And his cousin Easily Banned
posted by Namlit at 2:25 PM on February 11, 2011


I can't definitively say that no one has ever snagged these but here are the first five from a ridiculously long list:

Their They're There and the Apostrophe S

Luck o' the Jewish

Reluctant Carnivore

Ominous Envelope

Professional Progress Bar Watcher
posted by JaredSeth at 2:33 PM on February 11, 2011


Or, better,

Danger Danger "Will" Robinson
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:04 PM on February 11, 2011


Mohammed Chang
posted by xil at 6:10 PM on February 11, 2011


Periscope Hiatus
posted by clavdivs at 8:20 PM on February 11, 2011


Death Wears a Condom
posted by Burhanistan at 8:34 PM on February 11, 2011


William Fakepeace Thwackery (or Facepunch)
posted by Eideteker at 12:21 AM on February 12, 2011


(inside joke from tonight's meetup: Tom Waits for Goose)
posted by Eideteker at 12:22 AM on February 12, 2011


The ____ of Compassion
The ____ of Love
The ____ of Wisdom
The ____ of Retribution

i got more too
posted by The ____ of Justice at 3:01 AM on February 12, 2011


The AK-47s of Compassion
The Dumpsters of Love
The Televisions of Wisdom
The Malted Milk Balls of Retribution
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:09 AM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


ClubfootGoGoboot

BreadStyx (also has huge potential as a cover band name)

$100.00taco

Whiteytightyass
posted by pianomover at 8:26 AM on February 12, 2011


moment of silence

mimes on acid

your dad is pissed
posted by pianomover at 8:29 AM on February 12, 2011


So Many Tacos
posted by The Whelk at 8:30 AM on February 12, 2011


New Jersey block party

That's no turn on Red

That's stoopid Billy Bob

Where's my showercap
posted by pianomover at 8:35 AM on February 12, 2011


Dick Tater

Aunt Ethel's Glasseye

TonyOrlandoFlorida
posted by pianomover at 8:38 AM on February 12, 2011


ZAMFIR, MASTER OF PAN FLUTE.
posted by The Whelk at 8:42 AM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


The flapjax of Compassion
The pianomover of Love
The Whelk of Wisdom
The Whelk of Retribution
posted by iamkimiam at 9:02 AM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


jbnljnbn
oh wait, I'm sitting an inch to the right.
posted by Namlit at 10:23 AM on February 12, 2011


and I forgot one "j". Phew, this is hard

jbnljnjbn
posted by Namlit at 10:24 AM on February 12, 2011


Pancakes@2400HRS.com
posted by Burhanistan at 10:45 AM on February 12, 2011


Cinnamon Styx
posted by Eideteker at 11:20 AM on February 12, 2011 [1 favorite]


Fido
posted by infini at 12:00 PM on February 12, 2011


As it's still going...

Queasy, M.E.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 12:40 PM on February 12, 2011


Has anyone mentioned "YoullNeverRockAlone"?
posted by MattMangels at 12:43 PM on February 12, 2011


suppermario
posted by whimsicalnymph at 1:01 PM on February 12, 2011


eh, you mean hoppermoppio, surely?
posted by Namlit at 1:06 PM on February 12, 2011


Something Something Nice Ass Something


Posterior Motives
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:45 PM on February 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Jauntiago
posted by Eideteker at 4:30 PM on February 12, 2011


Da_Baby_Momma
TweakedMonkey
GUI Pancakes
posted by ~Sushma~ at 4:52 PM on February 12, 2011


The Whelk of Wisdom The Whelk of Retribution

Aspects Of The Whole.
posted by The Whelk at 5:31 PM on February 12, 2011


The Conch Fritter
posted by box at 6:14 PM on February 12, 2011


I want to be Betty Swallocks.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 10:08 PM on February 12, 2011


I want to switch to a user name that forced subsequent commenters to appear rude, e.g.,

... as that bitch upthread said, blah blah...

... as that clueless moron wrote, blah blah...

(But I rarely comment outside of askmefi so it would be rather pointless and besides, I don't have $5 to squander anywhere these days.)
posted by ceri richard at 4:36 AM on February 13, 2011 [5 favorites]


open that secret text file

Does anybody actually do that for metafilter names? If you ever intend to use the name, why wouldn't you register it then and there, before someone else does? And if you don't intend to use it, why write it down?

On the other hand, I really do maintain a file called computer‑names.txt. It contains lists of good names for hosts, network devices, filesystems, and other computer stuff. Each class of device has its own theme. For example, filesystems are named after textiles. Related devices are indicated by alliteration or puns (ideally both).
posted by ryanrs at 7:29 AM on February 13, 2011


You Secret Text File
posted by The Whelk at 10:29 AM on February 13, 2011


Phallic Victory
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 4:16 PM on February 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


Carpe Perineum
posted by russm at 2:09 PM on February 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


I Secretly Want to Punch Slow Walking People in the Back of the Head
posted by Splunge at 12:53 PM on February 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Maxwell's Silver Demon
posted by NMcCoy at 4:32 PM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


Maxwell's Silver Surfer
After the Gold Rush Limbaugh
AllYouNeedIsLoveLoveMeDoYouWantToKnowASecret
Back In The USSR You Lonesome Tonight
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:54 PM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


Cogito Ergo NomNomNom
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:13 PM on February 15, 2011


scurvied herbivorous birds
"Potato Pan" Otis
Trickstadecaphobia
posted by Jpfed at 8:32 PM on February 15, 2011


Fan Deck Fandango
Parvenu Pastry Chef
posted by Splunge at 9:55 AM on February 16, 2011


by by at at
posted by not_on_display at 1:00 PM on February 16, 2011


Nim Chimpsky
Snowmageddon
posted by TheLittlestRobot at 1:12 AM on February 17, 2011


The Slow Death Of A. Thread
posted by The Whelk at 6:01 AM on February 17, 2011


Pissed off Pansy and her Petulant Pants
posted by h00py at 6:36 AM on February 17, 2011


hey how did you know?
posted by The Whelk at 6:43 AM on February 17, 2011


Endless Thread
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:03 AM on February 17, 2011


Snarktard
posted by Burhanistan at 8:06 AM on February 17, 2011


Damn you Whelk, that's me not you.
posted by h00py at 8:31 AM on February 17, 2011


Damn You. Whelk.
posted by The Whelk at 8:54 AM on February 17, 2011


Misteranthropic
posted by Burhanistan at 8:59 AM on February 17, 2011


Damn, someone already took that one.

That was a lamentation, but it also might work as a sockpuppet name.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:06 AM on February 17, 2011


And, man, someone on Gawker goes by "Snarktard". I give up.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:07 AM on February 17, 2011


Anonymous is Taken
posted by infini at 9:51 AM on February 17, 2011


This Way To The Gorilla Cage.
posted by The Whelk at 10:00 AM on February 17, 2011


Pootastic Slingfest
posted by The Whelk at 10:00 AM on February 17, 2011


What Bo Knows.
posted by The Whelk at 10:02 AM on February 17, 2011


What Hath Princess Sparklebunny Wrought?
posted by The Whelk at 10:05 AM on February 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


ThreadMiller
[for compulsive contributors]

or the spiralling stairthreader to hell
posted by Namlit at 10:20 AM on February 17, 2011


The Ender Of Threads.
posted by The Whelk at 10:27 AM on February 17, 2011


A Wake For The Living.
posted by The Whelk at 10:27 AM on February 17, 2011


Panther Shaman beneath the Jeweled Dome
posted by The Whelk at 11:00 AM on February 17, 2011


Sounds like something Kubla Khan would build.
posted by Sailormom at 11:33 AM on February 17, 2011


Kublaist Of All The Khans.
posted by The Whelk at 11:35 AM on February 17, 2011


TurboWhelk

The Never Ending Storyteller
posted by Namlit at 2:20 PM on February 17, 2011


artfug
posted by Eideteker at 2:50 PM on February 17, 2011


Youdeteker
posted by not_on_display at 4:22 PM on February 17, 2011


I've gotten:
Edieteker
And especially Eidetaker.
posted by Eideteker at 4:47 PM on February 17, 2011


Lumpy Space Dauphin
posted by The Whelk at 4:51 PM on February 17, 2011


Rumpy Doppelganger
posted by box at 4:58 PM on February 17, 2011


Nonsexual jazz hands.
posted by The Whelk at 5:02 PM on February 17, 2011


Mission Creep
posted by Eideteker at 7:37 PM on February 17, 2011


Negative Creep
posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:46 PM on February 17, 2011


Negative Creep, SIR
posted by not_on_display at 8:24 PM on February 17, 2011


I feel like I got up in the morning after throwing a party the night before and there are people downstairs in my living room doing bong hits and someone's been sick on my Wii and now it's time to leave and I'll try to be polite but I need to get to work and you were sick on my Wii and you've burned my carpet and it's not like I even know you all that well and would you please go home soon.

Or is there a limit on username length?
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 6:51 AM on February 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


Massive Male Mane.
posted by The Whelk at 6:59 AM on February 18, 2011


Sea of Cheese
posted by JaredSeth at 9:28 AM on February 18, 2011


Crotchomancy.
posted by The Whelk at 9:31 AM on February 18, 2011


Stupidbot
posted by infini at 11:57 AM on February 18, 2011


The lady keeps changing her name
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:45 PM on February 18, 2011


Aelfwine Even-Steven
posted by box at 1:19 PM on February 18, 2011


She is Herself
posted by infini at 1:48 PM on February 18, 2011


My Tremendous Sense Of Self-Importance.
posted by The Whelk at 1:49 PM on February 18, 2011


Solipsistgasm
posted by Burhanistan at 1:50 PM on February 18, 2011


Ask Me About My Unborn Grandchildren!
posted by The Whelk at 1:51 PM on February 18, 2011


I Kidnapped the Baby in my Profile Picture
posted by Burhanistan at 1:54 PM on February 18, 2011


But Wait, There's More!
posted by infini at 1:55 PM on February 18, 2011


Ayn Rand's Libido in a Can
posted by Burhanistan at 1:56 PM on February 18, 2011


Don't Make Me Think About Ayn Rand's Lidbo, K?
posted by The Whelk at 2:02 PM on February 18, 2011


Ayn Rand and Ann Coulter are Waiting in Your Bed
posted by Burhanistan at 2:03 PM on February 18, 2011


Long Stabby Thing.
posted by The Whelk at 2:05 PM on February 18, 2011


Phallus McPhunky
posted by Burhanistan at 2:09 PM on February 18, 2011


Testosterone Causes Derails
posted by infini at 2:38 PM on February 18, 2011


You can call me Testy for short
posted by infini at 2:38 PM on February 18, 2011


Solyent McNuggets is Balls
posted by Burhanistan at 2:38 PM on February 18, 2011


Barbecuenistan
posted by box at 3:29 PM on February 18, 2011 [1 favorite]


Approaching 469
posted by Namlit at 3:31 PM on February 18, 2011


Atlas Tugged
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:43 PM on February 18, 2011


Mefite Hugged
posted by Namlit at 3:45 PM on February 18, 2011


I've never thought that hard about these until this thread, which I tucked in the back of my mind. I thought of it just now reading this Ask answer: Hardcore Marxist & Poodle Enthusiast Monthly
posted by knile at 12:56 AM on February 19, 2011


Viking Bored
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:41 AM on February 19, 2011


Longbutt

jelly toast
posted by Sailormom at 4:19 AM on February 19, 2011


Brandon Brisket
posted by box at 7:21 AM on February 19, 2011


I. P. Freely.
posted by dougrayrankin at 8:16 AM on February 19, 2011


Thread Is Undead Undead
posted by The Whelk at 8:17 AM on February 19, 2011


My Imaginary Apartment On Gleam Street.
posted by The Whelk at 8:17 AM on February 19, 2011


Thanks To Bart Simpson
posted by Namlit at 8:31 AM on February 19, 2011


Saturdays are Sacred.
posted by infini at 8:38 AM on February 19, 2011


trip mefite fantastic
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:39 AM on February 20, 2011


love's labours lost and found
posted by infini at 7:08 AM on February 20, 2011


I Sceewed Shakesbeard.
posted by The Whelk at 7:14 AM on February 20, 2011


OmeletWise
posted by box at 8:46 AM on February 20, 2011


Cool Papa Bell Pepper
posted by box at 8:47 AM on February 20, 2011


A Dojo With A Reasonable Amount Of Mercy.


Sarcasticsaur
posted by The Whelk at 8:47 AM on February 20, 2011


Obvious Troll
Metro Gnome
Orc Hestra
posted by fings at 5:15 AM on February 21, 2011


figs
posted by box at 5:43 AM on February 21, 2011


languagehelmet
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:58 AM on February 21, 2011


pancakes at high noon
posted by Meatbomb at 6:04 AM on February 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


Vegetabletruce
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:23 AM on February 21, 2011


High, at noon.
posted by The Whelk at 6:23 AM on February 21, 2011


hai, hai, hai

(means "yeah, yeah, yeah" in Japanese)
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:27 AM on February 21, 2011


All Of You
posted by infini at 7:00 AM on February 21, 2011


All Of Me
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:03 AM on February 21, 2011


Foreskin Claw
posted by Burhanistan at 8:54 AM on February 21, 2011


Echo and the Men At Work
posted by Sailormom at 9:10 AM on February 21, 2011


Chewbacca's Churlish Chumbawamba Party
posted by Burhanistan at 9:16 AM on February 21, 2011


dammit Echo and the Bunnymen At Work
posted by Sailormom at 9:16 AM on February 21, 2011


refenestration
sweetrefenestration
posted by Eideteker at 10:35 PM on February 21, 2011


Rhodesian Sleigh Ride
posted by Meatbomb at 4:27 AM on February 22, 2011


Botswana Interruptus
posted by Meatbomb at 4:36 AM on February 22, 2011


Cameroonian Nougat Swirl
posted by Meatbomb at 4:47 AM on February 22, 2011


Democratic Republic of Disco
posted by Meatbomb at 5:09 AM on February 22, 2011


About that Pony of Yours
posted by infini at 5:21 AM on February 22, 2011


Zartosht stole my lunch money
posted by Meatbomb at 5:33 AM on February 22, 2011


It's a BRAND NEW MOTORHOME!
posted by Meatbomb at 5:45 AM on February 22, 2011


Is hamburger already taken?
posted by infini at 10:24 AM on February 22, 2011


Quay Lewd
posted by Sailormom at 8:05 PM on February 22, 2011


6'4" and full of mussels
posted by infini at 2:47 AM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


for those who grew up with Mr. Squiggle -

auer ssiw umop apisdn
posted by russm at 6:37 PM on February 23, 2011


bɐɹı uı ǝɔɐld sǝʞɐʇ pɐǝɹɥʇ ʇǝqɐɥdlɐ sıɥʇ
posted by not_on_display at 10:58 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


My fingers have been hijacked by my keyboard
posted by infini at 5:17 AM on February 24, 2011


The sinking feeling of having to do another rewrite.
posted by The Whelk at 5:23 AM on February 24, 2011


Double sided printing suxx
posted by infini at 5:38 AM on February 24, 2011


Sausalito Snowstorm
posted by infini at 7:53 AM on February 24, 2011


degenerate corpus luteum
posted by clavicle at 12:58 PM on February 24, 2011


Ms. Hugh
posted by infini at 11:07 AM on February 25, 2011


Calypso Apocalypse
posted by Meatbomb at 1:31 AM on February 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Apocalypso
posted by The Whelk at 8:00 AM on February 26, 2011


Ten Zen Hen Pen McGillicuty
posted by Meatbomb at 9:08 AM on February 26, 2011


Swedish Honeytrap Badger

greGRARious aGRARian
posted by Namlit at 11:45 AM on February 26, 2011


So hot my mouth went dry
posted by infini at 12:19 PM on February 26, 2011


Cortex's Dark Amusement.
posted by The Whelk at 12:21 PM on February 26, 2011


I thought I heard the fire alarm
posted by infini at 12:21 PM on February 26, 2011


Mods in Hell
posted by infini at 12:22 PM on February 26, 2011


Hell of Infinite Plebs
posted by Meatbomb at 12:25 PM on February 26, 2011


Automated Bourgeoisie
posted by infini at 1:33 PM on February 26, 2011


Chicken Sexer.
posted by The Whelk at 1:34 PM on February 26, 2011


My next sock puppet name?

Alphabet Game
posted by carsonb at 1:50 PM on February 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Boorish Boer Bieber Borer
posted by Burhanistan at 1:52 PM on February 26, 2011


Caliban Party Ghast
posted by The Whelk at 1:55 PM on February 26, 2011


Fuck Those Guys
posted by Meatbomb at 3:43 PM on February 26, 2011


Doh. Missed E.
posted by The Whelk at 4:16 PM on February 26, 2011


Good one The Whelk. Might as well just start over.
posted by Sailormom at 2:32 PM on February 27, 2011


Play Missed E For Me
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:30 PM on February 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


24 Hour Snarky People
posted by russm at 10:56 PM on February 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Golden Lucky Urinary Tract Infection
posted by Meatbomb at 5:51 AM on February 28, 2011


Threeway Hamshake
posted by box at 12:30 PM on February 28, 2011


My short term memory is
posted by infini at 4:15 AM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


...no short term memory
posted by not_on_display at 6:19 AM on March 1, 2011


Mean-spirited hand job
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:27 AM on March 1, 2011


teh lowkey
posted by box at 1:07 PM on March 1, 2011


Threeway Hamsniffer, for special occasions.
posted by clavicle at 1:44 PM on March 1, 2011


New Fresh Ham Scent!
posted by Meatbomb at 2:12 AM on March 2, 2011


Scent Myscelf a Scandwich
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:38 AM on March 2, 2011


Gatling Nun
posted by Eideteker at 8:33 AM on March 2, 2011


Disconnecting People
posted by infini at 10:23 AM on March 2, 2011


Gee, your hair smells like bacon
posted by infini at 11:39 AM on March 2, 2011


I can't believe it's not Quonsar
Marisa ate the Whole Thing
G.O.B. Beese
math ouchie
gortex
pb&j
back-up-pinto
Cat II: Les
you have been corrected
Kronos to Orson, come in Orson.
posted by not_on_display at 1:28 PM on March 2, 2011


two left early
filthy light meal
vanilladog
nurse_positive
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:25 PM on March 2, 2011


occasionally_on_display
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:25 PM on March 2, 2011


Crochet Massacre
posted by Meatbomb at 8:08 PM on March 2, 2011


MeatScimitar
posted by The Whelk at 8:29 PM on March 2, 2011


Lawrence Whelk
FleshTorpedo
klingklingsville
Neptor
A weeble is an active kind of ball
The Meat Brig Gulp
YEStheyR
orangejulius
posted by not_on_display at 8:36 PM on March 2, 2011


The Meat
MeatTorpedo
Meatmeatston
Meator
A Meat Is an Active Kind Of Cut
Meat On Display
Meat At Midnite
posted by The Whelk at 9:07 PM on March 2, 2011


Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncybomb
posted by not_on_display at 10:44 PM on March 2, 2011


Camp David II: a Peace Odyssey
posted by not_on_display at 10:45 PM on March 2, 2011


[NOT-NOT-NOT-HERMITOSIS-IST]
posted by not_on_display at 10:46 PM on March 2, 2011


The Pink Meatbomb Superhero
posted by not_on_display at 10:47 PM on March 2, 2011


Vegetarian Display of Innocence
posted by infini at 1:23 AM on March 3, 2011


Craft This Buddy
posted by Meatbomb at 3:31 AM on March 3, 2011


Ham de Craft
posted by infini at 3:53 AM on March 3, 2011


Seems like its time for
Hamlit
posted by Namlit at 4:23 AM on March 3, 2011


Alas, I knew him on facebook Horito.
posted by The Whelk at 5:54 AM on March 3, 2011


suck-blow continuum
posted by Meatbomb at 6:49 AM on March 3, 2011


Okay, Baconlit then
posted by Namlit at 6:59 AM on March 3, 2011


Vacuum Formation
posted by infini at 7:01 AM on March 3, 2011


goes into two different directions:
a) Beacon lit
b) Can I Leave It On The Counter (Infinitely, as opposed to vacuumed)
posted by Namlit at 7:40 AM on March 3, 2011


Bacon Left on the Counter Again, Infini?
posted by infini at 8:19 AM on March 3, 2011


Fingerpaints in the dust
posted by infini at 1:21 PM on March 3, 2011


Thats No Fingerprint
posted by Burhanistan at 1:22 PM on March 3, 2011


changed to the fast leg in queen cortex's race
posted by The Whelk at 1:24 PM on March 3, 2011


Afro Zombie
afrozombocom
posted by Eideteker at 4:19 AM on March 4, 2011


Fuck You Neil!

and also

Fuck You David!

and also

My Other Id Is Much Nicer

and

Narcissitic Gusset Snuffler

Actually, I don't think any of these are suitable for Metafilter at all, I just wanted to get them off my chest.
posted by h00py at 4:34 AM on March 4, 2011


His Serene Highness Chad Gonchpuller
posted by Meatbomb at 4:48 AM on March 4, 2011


My Eyes Grow Feet And Walk Inside You
posted by h00py at 4:53 AM on March 4, 2011


Last Train To Snarksville
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:27 AM on March 4, 2011


astrolabia
posted by Eideteker at 5:44 AM on March 4, 2011


afrolabia
posted by Eideteker at 5:44 AM on March 4, 2011


Descending the Stairway into the Gutter
posted by infini at 6:16 AM on March 4, 2011


The loneliness of long distance grar
posted by The Whelk at 6:36 AM on March 4, 2011


Tinea Killed My Brother!
posted by h00py at 6:48 AM on March 4, 2011


I talk JUST LIKE THIS!
posted by The Whelk at 7:46 AM on March 4, 2011


Spike at the End, but the End is not yet Nigh?
posted by Burhanistan at 7:52 AM on March 4, 2011


High is Nigh.
posted by The Whelk at 7:53 AM on March 4, 2011


Nigh High Wildcats
posted by Burhanistan at 7:55 AM on March 4, 2011


(class of '11)
posted by Burhanistan at 7:55 AM on March 4, 2011


An Unproductive Garden.
posted by The Whelk at 7:56 AM on March 4, 2011


Sad Little Potpourri Gnome
posted by Meatbomb at 8:13 AM on March 4, 2011


Smells Like Old People
posted by Meatbomb at 8:14 AM on March 4, 2011


SnuSnu Inspector.
posted by The Whelk at 8:17 AM on March 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


The Velveteen Dildo
posted by Burhanistan at 8:34 AM on March 4, 2011


My Friend Fucker.
posted by The Whelk at 8:36 AM on March 4, 2011


Goodnight, Spoon.
posted by The Whelk at 9:05 AM on March 4, 2011


Nerve Bundle Paradise Gateway
posted by Burhanistan at 9:07 AM on March 4, 2011


Ghostbusted
posted by infini at 9:15 AM on March 4, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hands Off Face
posted by infini at 9:15 AM on March 4, 2011


A Dreamcatcher Made From Foreskin and Cat Claws
posted by Burhanistan at 9:18 AM on March 4, 2011


Creepy Yet Boring.
posted by The Whelk at 9:32 AM on March 4, 2011


Randomly Whoring
posted by infini at 10:00 AM on March 4, 2011


simply, elegantly, ZIM!
posted by Meatbomb at 10:08 AM on March 4, 2011


le morte de arthur c. clarke
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 1:20 PM on March 4, 2011


the murders in the rue mcclanahan
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 1:23 PM on March 4, 2011


the betty white stripes
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 1:24 PM on March 4, 2011


skoda estelle getty museum
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 1:25 PM on March 4, 2011


you'll never be Jeroboam, p.i.
posted by Eideteker at 11:06 PM on March 4, 2011


you favorite like a girl
posted by Eideteker at 11:08 PM on March 4, 2011


Its snowing Robert Reed
posted by Sailormom at 4:44 AM on March 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


Puffy Hangover Face
posted by The Whelk at 6:56 AM on March 5, 2011


see me happy banana
posted by Meatbomb at 7:52 AM on March 5, 2011


he be sappy mañana
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:58 AM on March 5, 2011


Get a room, you too
posted by infini at 8:07 AM on March 5, 2011


infnifni
posted by Meatbomb at 8:09 AM on March 5, 2011


At Last, lead.
posted by The Whelk at 8:15 AM on March 5, 2011


Plumbum Board
posted by infini at 11:39 AM on March 5, 2011


TUNGSTEN CANOE
posted by The Whelk at 11:39 AM on March 5, 2011


Miss Marple's Meatbomb
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 11:58 AM on March 5, 2011


Hercule Parrot
posted by The Whelk at 12:02 PM on March 5, 2011


The Dink Panther
posted by box at 12:31 PM on March 5, 2011


Cloris Yeltsin
posted by Eideteker at 7:00 PM on March 5, 2011


whitewater crafting
posted by Eideteker at 9:06 PM on March 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


Grounding Zero at the Centre
posted by infini at 2:06 AM on March 6, 2011


Bacon rectangular flatus.
posted by h00py at 2:17 AM on March 6, 2011


Float Sim and Jet Sim
posted by Meatbomb at 2:25 AM on March 6, 2011


David Wrasslehoff
posted by Eideteker at 5:49 AM on March 6, 2011


A Flock of Sealoving Tourists
posted by Sailormom at 7:33 AM on March 6, 2011


Sea love prime.
posted by The Whelk at 7:37 AM on March 6, 2011


Eye Dew
posted by infini at 10:59 AM on March 6, 2011


Tear Drop In Two
posted by carsonb at 11:03 AM on March 6, 2011


Dew Drop It.
posted by The Whelk at 11:16 AM on March 6, 2011


Judaic Pork Subsidy Institute
posted by Meatbomb at 11:24 AM on March 6, 2011


Jurassic Park Subthread GRARitude

(Yess. I finally made the link)
posted by Namlit at 11:53 AM on March 6, 2011


There'll be Bad Puns all my Life
posted by infini at 12:33 PM on March 6, 2011


Pilcrowtudinous
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:11 PM on March 6, 2011


It's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
posted by fings at 10:20 AM on March 7, 2011


Pink Flaming Paratrooper
posted by infini at 11:02 AM on March 7, 2011


Hurricane Farty
posted by Burhanistan at 11:06 AM on March 7, 2011


Flirt master Tango
posted by infini at 12:09 PM on March 7, 2011


Textual Sealing
posted by infini at 12:10 PM on March 7, 2011


Infinitely subtle mouse click
posted by infini at 12:10 PM on March 7, 2011


Show * Desktop
posted by infini at 12:11 PM on March 7, 2011


WTF, I said Yes again?
posted by infini at 12:12 PM on March 7, 2011


America's Next Top Mohel
posted by fings at 12:15 PM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


Rorscharch test-tube baby
posted by carsonb at 12:18 PM on March 7, 2011


Bob Seger and The Silver Mullet Band
posted by Sailormom at 7:41 AM on March 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


The Botched Subfloor Hubbub of 1972
posted by Meatbomb at 8:12 AM on March 8, 2011


The Colostomy Bag of Rhodes
posted by Burhanistan at 8:14 AM on March 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


The Great Pyramid of Goiter
posted by Burhanistan at 8:15 AM on March 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Goiter McRainbow Sr.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:17 AM on March 8, 2011


(Wait, that should be:)

Hanging Goiter of Babylon
The Great Pyramid of Gout
posted by Burhanistan at 8:22 AM on March 8, 2011


Snark Level Quality Crash
posted by infini at 10:04 AM on March 8, 2011


Who Socked your Puppet?
posted by infini at 10:04 AM on March 8, 2011


Is This FPP Worthy?
posted by infini at 10:05 AM on March 8, 2011


I'm down with FPP (Yeah! You know me!)
posted by carsonb at 10:23 AM on March 8, 2011


Ready for the death panels, Ms. Palin.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 2:13 PM on March 8, 2011


Provocative Icepick
posted by infini at 2:54 PM on March 8, 2011


Great piece of dub poetry which would also make a cool username...

Mi Cyaan Believe It
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:24 PM on March 8, 2011


what the fuq
posted by not_on_display at 9:32 PM on March 8, 2011


West Saskatchewan Divisional Senior Shuffleboard Runner-up '76
posted by not_on_display at 9:35 PM on March 8, 2011


rtha kitt
youngmc
Miko Mouse
Thipstick Lesbian
posted by not_on_display at 9:38 PM on March 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Alex Jones's Dirty Dreamcatcher
posted by kuujjuarapik at 10:23 PM on March 8, 2011


Smells like Chuck Woolery's Botany 500
posted by kuujjuarapik at 10:26 PM on March 8, 2011


Muppet Manny Whippet Time episode 17: A Rainbow, and The Stench of Death
posted by carsonb at 10:30 PM on March 8, 2011


Muppets Only Do Whip-Its in Private
posted by Burhanistan at 10:31 PM on March 8, 2011


Puppeteer gloves OR Muppet Underpants?
posted by carsonb at 10:32 PM on March 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Mr. McFeely's Stealthy Assassination Service
posted by kuujjuarapik at 10:43 PM on March 8, 2011


eefin' on the porch or wherever
narwhal bombs
Humbug Crunch, whole milk, and two spoons
Ramblers out ramblin'
Amblers, Durnk, & Droll, Motorcycle Attorneys
posted by carsonb at 10:57 PM on March 8, 2011


The Socketeer and
The Mip Whuppet
posted by Namlit at 1:38 AM on March 9, 2011


Righteous Stenchman
posted by Meatbomb at 2:02 AM on March 9, 2011


Contextually Anonymous
posted by infini at 6:21 AM on March 9, 2011


cluless

seriously, I don't recognize the pattern in these comments. ah, well.
posted by not_on_display at 8:04 AM on March 9, 2011


Gestalt Averse
posted by Burhanistan at 8:05 AM on March 9, 2011


I'm trying to choose between:

The Pattern is a Special Snowflake, all on its Own

and

The Pattern is Love; Love is the Pattern

*ponders over porridge*
posted by infini at 9:20 AM on March 9, 2011


That's it! ponders_over_porridge it is. thanks, infinity!
posted by not_on_display at 5:17 PM on March 9, 2011


Assless Spats
Tapioprah
posted by Eideteker at 11:02 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


there is a pattern? I am just riffing...

Androgynous Discount Chicken Filet
posted by Meatbomb at 2:30 AM on March 10, 2011


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