The horror! The horror! May 13, 2011 2:07 PM   Subscribe

I have reached 666 favorites on Friday the 13th. Am I going to die?
posted by Nomyte to MetaFilter-Related at 2:07 PM (126 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

Yes.

Eventually.
posted by The Whelk at 2:08 PM on May 13, 2011 [21 favorites]


Almost certainly, but probably from something boring and unexciting, many years from now.
posted by pecanpies at 2:09 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


You sure are.
posted by Faint of Butt at 2:09 PM on May 13, 2011


I hope so. The idea of immortal MeFites scares me.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:10 PM on May 13, 2011 [58 favorites]


No, but you'll feel queasy, after which a quiet elation follows, and then fidgety ennui.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:11 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


You're not going to die, you have the awesome power of the antichrist as the wind beneath your wings! Good job!

ps you can never go back to the life you once knew
posted by Greg Nog at 2:11 PM on May 13, 2011 [9 favorites]


If 666 people favorite this comment, I rain scorpions on the face of the earth and place the mark of the beast on each of you who shall be damned.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:12 PM on May 13, 2011 [35 favorites]


If you can just hang on until the 21st, we'll all go together!
posted by katillathehun at 2:13 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


You'll live on where nobody can reach you: in the heart of the millions.
posted by Namlit at 2:13 PM on May 13, 2011


Only if you punch a mirror under a ladder while a black cat walks in front of you during a full moon.
posted by Kattullus at 2:14 PM on May 13, 2011


hearts. Damn
posted by Namlit at 2:14 PM on May 13, 2011


The idea of immortal MeFites scares me.

Look upon my favorites and despair.
posted by The Whelk at 2:14 PM on May 13, 2011 [18 favorites]


Wait. Are there black cats on the moon?
posted by Namlit at 2:15 PM on May 13, 2011


Hopefully, some people reading this can unfavorite some of your comments to help you out. I'm going through your favorited by others to see if I can make a difference.
posted by stavrogin at 2:16 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


.
posted by Ian A.T. at 2:16 PM on May 13, 2011 [4 favorites]


Hmmm, let's see if I've ever favorited you so I can take some back.
posted by yeti at 2:16 PM on May 13, 2011


If 666 people favorite this comment,

Better do it before May 21st, because I'm outta here!
posted by yeti at 2:17 PM on May 13, 2011


Done with the work of breathing; done
With all the world; the mad race run
Though to the end; the golden goal
Attained and found to be a hole!

- Squatol Johnes
posted by Wallace Shawn at 2:18 PM on May 13, 2011


The honey badger gets 666 favorites on Friday the 13th, can you imagine? Honey badger don't give a shit.
posted by Namlit at 2:20 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


Or is it that you haven't really lived?
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:21 PM on May 13, 2011


What is death but a pause from garnering favorites?
posted by shakespeherian at 2:23 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]


S`io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocchè giammai di questo fondo
Non tornò vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.


Tl;dr, Dante likely would have hated favorites, and most certainly the "mark as best answer" feature.
Related Posts:
I guess he had it coming. Friday 13 2006
We all have it coming. Friday 13 2002


But mostly, for unforgiven apocalyptica, See Also:
Previously.
posted by infinite intimation at 2:25 PM on May 13, 2011


I would favorite you, but I kind of want to find out.
posted by whoaali at 2:26 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


Today's date is 5/13/11 (or 13/5/11 if you're one o' them European types): ALL PRIME NUMBERS! It has to mean something!
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 2:29 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


(2011 is prime too, holy crap I am so scared right now)
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 2:30 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also prime: Chicago ribs.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:31 PM on May 13, 2011 [4 favorites]


In Sweden it's even 11-05-13. What does that mean, I wonder?
posted by Namlit at 2:32 PM on May 13, 2011


.
posted by The ____ of Justice at 2:32 PM on May 13, 2011


PRIME NUMBERS
posted by The Whelk at 2:33 PM on May 13, 2011


One day, you’re going to die. Your life will just end, right then and there. You will be no more. It probably won’t be pretty like in the movies or in fairytales. Maybe something extraordinary will happen, but probably not. Some times people have enough energy to say or do something meaningful right before they die. And that’s nice. But that is uncommon. Usually, people just die. And you’re going to die, too.

Some people will say nice things to make you feel comfortable before you die. Other people will tell you wild stories that say you’re not actually going to die. But those people are only nice, not honest. Because you really are going to die.

There are many ways to think about dying, different stories to tell and different things to think dying is like. But death happens to people on the same way, no matter which way they think about it. Everyone dies and is no more. Because we are so good at making up stories and believing them, you may even begin to experience dying in a way that may fit one of your stories. And that is okay. But then you’ll die and it won’t matter what story you had. When you die, you won’t be able to see if your story was right or not, because there will be no story and no person to believe or compare stories. You will be dead.

You won’t go anywhere and you will not even stay in the same place, because there will be no “you”. There won’t be anything and there won’t be even nothing, because you won’t be there to feel that there is nothing. There won’t be forever because you won’t be there to feel there’s forever.

You will be dead.

And you won’t be able to think; “Gee, I’m dead”. Because you can even think or feel or be anything besides dead when you’re dead. Death can happen at any time. Sometimes little babies die. Sometimes mommies and daddies die. And when people get too old, after they have had lot of life, they die. And you’re going to die, too.

Sometimes it hurts when you die, and other times people don’t feel a thing. We only know what people say and do right before they die. After you die, you won’t feel anything. Not even pain. But people who still alive when you die might hurt because you are gone. And that is ok.

People love other people and usually hurts when people we love die. We even comfort ourselves with those stories that the dead person is not really dead. And that is ok too. But of course, everyone dies. And you will, too.

When you say, “I want this” or “I feel this”, you are talking about yourself… You might think yourself different from the rest of the world or you might think you are just a little part of the world. But when you die, yourself dies and so does your view of the world. So you won’t have a world or a self or any thoughts about either because you just won’t exist.

When you die, you won’t feel sad anymore, you won’t worry anymore, you won’t care about anything, or want anything. You won’t even enjoy being dead though, because you won’t be anything, only dead. That is why you should love life. There are lots of things in life that seem bad, but since life only happens once, and there is only one “you”, love life while you can. No matter what happens. If you feel sad, at least you can feel sad. If you are worried, at least you can be worried. You exist. You are alive.

If you love life this way, when it comes time to die, you will be happy because death is the perfect end to life. Life is only good because death ends it. So live and love life… Because you don’t even know how, when or why, but since you’re alive, you’re going to die.
posted by crunchland at 2:35 PM on May 13, 2011 [20 favorites]


I've been dead for years. You don't hear me bitching about it. Undead, these days! They don't know how good they've got it. Why, in my day, you got the mark of the beast on you, they flayed the skin off you, stuck you on a hook outside in the fucking rain somewhere, and let the birds peck your eyes out! Then, after you died, they'd steal your clothes and burn you in a pit! Then, you'd drop straight down into The Fiery Pit, and start thinking of your final hours as the good old days! Undead, these days! Got no respect! Get off the white, hot coals outside my eternal torture chamber!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:41 PM on May 13, 2011 [6 favorites]


You're not going to die today.

But when you die, you're going to hell.

See you there!
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:43 PM on May 13, 2011


Yes. And not only that, you're going to miss the rapture. Sucks to be you!
posted by Decani at 2:44 PM on May 13, 2011


Hate to break it to you, but we've already missed the rapture.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:46 PM on May 13, 2011


No. We still have a week to go.
posted by crunchland at 2:48 PM on May 13, 2011


I was told in no uncertain terms that there was twenty-four hour shopping in Rapture
posted by The Whelk at 2:48 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


You're already dead.
posted by Sailormom at 2:50 PM on May 13, 2011


WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO FAVORITE THIS THREAD AND SAVE HIM!?
posted by Lutoslawski at 2:54 PM on May 13, 2011


Trust me on this one. I don't care who says they can get you a boarding pass. If you haven't already been eating golden goose foie gras for at least 60 years, you're having maggot-crusted potted meat product on a stick every meal for the rest of eternity.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:55 PM on May 13, 2011


I just unfavorited something of yours, Nomyte. Consider yourself saved!
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:57 PM on May 13, 2011


Where have they gone?

The faves of Villon.

They are falling from Meta, as rain.
posted by The Whelk at 2:59 PM on May 13, 2011


I just favorited this post. Die, bitch.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 3:02 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


Noooooo! I must re-save!
posted by Metroid Baby at 3:06 PM on May 13, 2011


If you're cute, I'll rescue you. It won't last.
posted by tigrefacile at 3:07 PM on May 13, 2011


Where's the metafilter spawn point again?
posted by The Whelk at 3:07 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


Bottom drawer on the left.
posted by Sailormom at 3:17 PM on May 13, 2011


Don't you mean Spawn point?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:19 PM on May 13, 2011


/kit arms
posted by The Whelk at 3:23 PM on May 13, 2011


I hope so. The idea of immortal MeFites scares me.

Well, I've got bad news for everyone then, because there can be only one.
posted by quin at 3:24 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]


Mmmm, dinner.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:25 PM on May 13, 2011


The idea of immortal MeFites scares me.

We are more of a post-mortality crowd. Immortality is too hipsterish.
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:29 PM on May 13, 2011


What the hell is wrong with people who are obsessed with having exactly 666 favorites?
posted by dersins at 3:34 PM on May 13, 2011


Hell if I know, but I joined a Facebook event today called Post Rapture Looting and I'll be on the lookout for a new laptop come May 22nd.
posted by jokeefe at 3:36 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hmmm, let's see if I've ever favorited you so I can take some back

*ducks*
posted by zarq at 3:39 PM on May 13, 2011


Oh boy looting! That's where I'm a Viking!
posted by The Whelk at 3:40 PM on May 13, 2011 [5 favorites]


dersins, I noticed for a short time you had 667 favorites. I wondered who had to forfeit one of those coveted slots.
posted by mimo at 3:43 PM on May 13, 2011


Is this something that I would have to own an Easy-Bake Oven to know about ?
posted by y2karl at 3:45 PM on May 13, 2011


They are shrinky dinks
posted by The Whelk at 3:46 PM on May 13, 2011


Not if you gift a MetaFilter membership to someone else.

"Seven days."
posted by Jacqueline at 3:52 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]


Now I have to look up what's supposed to happen on the 21st...
posted by patheral at 3:54 PM on May 13, 2011




Now I have to look up what's supposed to happen on the 21st...

Here you go. I particularly liked the moment where a day went from being 1000 years to a day being a 24 hour period without acknowledgement of the contradiction.
posted by never used baby shoes at 4:03 PM on May 13, 2011


Squiiiiiids iiiiiiiin Spaaaaaaaaace.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:04 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have reached 666 favorites on Friday the 13th. Am I going to die?

I'll have an answer for you tomorrow.
posted by Cranberry at 4:04 PM on May 13, 2011


If you order something with seitan in it, I am sure you will be spared.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:44 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


Ha! Every time I hear Satan, by Orbital, in my head it's a song about wheat gluten.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:49 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


Paging ColdChef! Incoming!
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 4:55 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


Note that "in my head" is a very scary place to be.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:56 PM on May 13, 2011


A few throw pillows, a spider plant, we could make it real homey IRFH
posted by The Whelk at 5:19 PM on May 13, 2011


When I die, my account will be hooked up to that Markov-chain comment generator, and "hermitosis" will just keep commenting forever!

It will probably take a few months for people to even notice the difference.
posted by hermitosis at 5:37 PM on May 13, 2011


I was disheartened to learn that my girlfriend has been brought up with an entirely wrong set of lyrics to "Did you ever think as a hearse drives by…"

Unfortunately, googling has shown me that there are many, many more wrong answers out there.
posted by klangklangston at 5:43 PM on May 13, 2011


When I die, my account will be hooked up to that Markov-chain comment generator, and "hermitosis" will just keep commenting forever!

Maybe there'll be a metafilter plugin for Envoy.
posted by dersins at 5:48 PM on May 13, 2011


not anymore
posted by clavdivs at 6:16 PM on May 13, 2011


Great, now we'll have someone going around murdering people with Numerically Significant Numbers on thier profile every Friday the 13th. The Favorite Killer.
posted by The Whelk at 6:28 PM on May 13, 2011


Can I return Terminal Verbosity's favorite? I don't think I want it anymore.
posted by Nomyte at 6:47 PM on May 13, 2011


This favorite tastes funny...

I....uuuuugh

*faints*
posted by The Whelk at 6:48 PM on May 13, 2011


You're about four years too late. In accordance to the Templar Conspiracy, the named number of the antichrist, 666, must be hit on the 700th anniversary of the destruction of the Templar Order at the hands of King Philip (the Fair!) of France. It was this knowledge, learned by Templar crusaders in the discovered, buried Temple of Solomon, that resulted in their destruction. Spoken by the severed head of John the Baptist to the surprised crusaders, which subsequently was kept in a box, upside down, and submerged in olive oil, the Pope (Clement) of the time arranged with the King of France to prevent the Templars from ending the world by invoking the favorited 666 on the 700th anniversary of 1306.

The two men failed, however. Templars escaped the French and Papal authorities and went underground. Many turned their expertise in irrigation learned in the Holy Land adventures into practical work in the field of water works. Mainly in Scotland and later, these secret Templar knights offered services in bringing drinking water to the fountains of cities. In particular, they were renown for their water filtration devices, or filters. The devices, found primarily in northern Europe were generally three feet in length. Hence, they were known as Yard Filters. Upon the advent of the meter system, they soon gained a new nickname, Meter Filters. In the Masonic Lodges of Scotland, the pronunciation of Meter Filter became corrupted into Meta Filter (Particularly during the rejuvenation of Scotch). This new pronunciation was dispersed across the English speaking world by the masons and by the 20th century, had in America been turned into a compound word, MetaFilter.

Thus, it was with terror when Papal authorities discovered the popular rise of MetaFilter.com and its use of favorites. Here, then in the 21st century, as the 700th anniversary came on nigh, the chance for the favorited 666 to arise was entirely possible. Fears were lessened by the advent of the $5 memberships and the resulting decrease in the pace of membership growth, and seventy-two cardinals contributed to a papal membership (the Pope opted to remain a lurker) for the purpose to constantly watch for favorites of any member nearing 666 and to favorite comments by said members to ensure that the favorites exceeded the cursed favorited number by wide margins. Friday the 13th, 2006, was a tense day and a company of volunteers (7 Swiss Guards, 12 Nuns, and 1 hungry abbot) followed the website for 24 hours, favoriting willynilly any comments by mefites that was remotely close to 666. By the stroke of midnight, the end of the world had been averted and only a few fingers sore from mouse clicking.

Since that day, four years ago, the problem of having 666 favorites has been made moot. The time has passed, you, good web adventurer, are safe from harm.
posted by Atreides at 7:26 PM on May 13, 2011 [4 favorites]


In some manuscripts of Revelation, the number of the beast is 616. There's at least a chance that you are well past the danger point now and didn't even realize.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 7:27 PM on May 13, 2011


THE DEVIL OF GRAND RAPIDS
posted by The Whelk at 7:44 PM on May 13, 2011


he moved
posted by clavdivs at 9:01 PM on May 13, 2011


no cabal
posted by clavdivs at 9:01 PM on May 13, 2011


No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes
posted by clavdivs at 9:03 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


1337 bro.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:03 PM on May 13, 2011


You're already dead.

The favorite came from inside the house!
posted by Ghidorah at 9:04 PM on May 13, 2011


You're currently up to 668, the Neighbor of the Beast.
posted by galadriel at 9:04 PM on May 13, 2011


ad hominem has a black space in the picture profile.

He is from Metanate, here to disrupt our semantic tactics.
posted by clavdivs at 9:08 PM on May 13, 2011


The two men failed, however.

Both men were killed by assassins from marseilles with-in a year of the Demolays' curse, a curse laced in mystery.
posted by clavdivs at 9:18 PM on May 13, 2011


Now it's over, you're dead, and you haven't done anything you want, or you're still alive and there's nothing you want to do.
posted by maryr at 9:37 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


Coach, I don't think we survived that crash.
posted by The Whelk at 9:41 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


Wait to draw any conclusions until May 21st. But try not to start laughing at 11:59 pm.
posted by medea42 at 9:42 PM on May 13, 2011


My grandmother believed we were all dead and in hell, being punished for something we had no memory of doing. She was real fun at parties.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:48 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]


The Wee Free Men all believe they are dead and this is the afterlife, so they are allowed to take what they want and do as they please. They're real fun at parties.

Just don't call them pixies.
posted by The Whelk at 9:50 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw.
posted by Nomyte at 10:16 PM on May 13, 2011


If you can just hang on until the 21st, we'll all go together!

Sorry, I have plans that night. I'm going out to eat guitars.
posted by drjimmy11 at 10:19 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]


we all die when we hit 666 here. that's what makes the place so interesting.
posted by philip-random at 12:14 AM on May 14, 2011


there can be only one

Oooh, a MeFi Quickening party. I'll bring cookies.
posted by arcticseal at 12:15 AM on May 14, 2011


"My tongue goes to the Secretary of the Dead
to tell the corpses, "I'm sorry, fellows,
the killing was just one of those things
difficult to pre-visualize-like a cow,
say, getting hit by lightning."
posted by clavdivs at 12:47 AM on May 14, 2011


People, we're shooting squid into space.

Stephen Baxter 1, Metafilter's Own Charlie Stross 0 (unless the lobsters are already out there, and we just don't know).
posted by Infinite Jest at 1:23 AM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Bah, you think YOU have it bad. I was at 666 for like a week, then I got to 667, then somebody un-favorited something just to make sure I got back to 666 again, bastards.
posted by AugieAugustus at 4:13 AM on May 14, 2011


Speaking of immortal MeFites, we should get the Wandering Jew to sign up before the end of days next Saturday.

I bet that guy has some awesome travel advice for AskMe.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:19 AM on May 14, 2011


Superstition causes bad luck.
posted by Floydd at 8:08 AM on May 14, 2011


When you believe in things that you don't understand



Then you suffer
posted by Sailormom at 8:58 AM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Nomyte posted "Am I going to die? "

Only for ruining a day without metatalk by 5 minutes.
posted by Mitheral at 9:34 AM on May 14, 2011


If I get ONE MORE FAVORITE it'll be all 3s.

That's almost interest, right?
posted by The Whelk at 9:43 AM on May 14, 2011


33,333!

What do I get?
posted by The Whelk at 10:07 AM on May 14, 2011


A bandanna which matches your favourite count?
posted by gman at 10:10 AM on May 14, 2011


OK, it's the 14th now. Has anybody seen Nomyte?
posted by Quietgal at 10:17 AM on May 14, 2011


mccarty.tim: Speaking of immortal MeFites, we should get the Wandering Jew to sign up before the end of days next Saturday.

I bet that guy has some awesome travel advice for AskMe.


Mods, please let me change my username. Please?
posted by gman at 10:28 AM on May 14, 2011


If you can just hang on until the 21st, we'll all go together!

I'm having a whiskey-tasting party that evening, so at least some of us will be going drunk and happy.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:07 PM on May 14, 2011


I'm going to a wedding that evening so I'll be drunk and well dressed, but unhappy.
posted by miss-lapin at 12:15 PM on May 14, 2011


(I feel the need to come clean to all the people who favorited this comment, in case there was any confusion. I didn't write it. I (badly) transcribed it from the youtube video that I too subtley linked to, and it was written by Timothy Furstnau. That is all.)
posted by crunchland at 1:21 PM on May 14, 2011


Cake indeed.
posted by clavdivs at 1:21 PM on May 14, 2011


timing
posted by clavdivs at 1:22 PM on May 14, 2011


S/he's a witch!!
posted by Iron Rat at 3:34 PM on May 14, 2011


Let me get my pitchfork.
posted by arcticseal at 4:21 PM on May 14, 2011


Quite shortly, and no more than two weeks from now, Glenn Danzig will be along to bellow incomprehensibly for several minutes. A few minutes after that, Henry Rollins will be along to apologize on Glenn's behalf.
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:49 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


My son is graduatiing on the 21st. I'm starting to think there may be something to this "World is Ending" prophecy.
posted by misha at 5:06 PM on May 14, 2011


The call is coming from inside the thread!
posted by Chanther at 8:24 AM on May 15, 2011


This thread is just a dream in which you call your only friend who really doesn't like you anyway.
posted by Sailormom at 12:08 PM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Are you dead yet?
posted by clavdivs at 3:22 PM on May 15, 2011


what favorites numerology should we be watching out for on december 21, 2012? i've got some FPPs ive been saving and i'd like to plan ahead so I'm not in any danger of Mayan retribution.
posted by Glibpaxman at 3:58 PM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


The winged serpent makes a great housepet
posted by The Whelk at 4:01 PM on May 15, 2011


Are you dead yet?

I was, but then you woke me up. How am I going to get back to being dead now?
posted by Nomyte at 6:28 PM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


Propofol?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:39 PM on May 15, 2011


How am I going to get back to being dead now?

well, you post another metatalk thread, these little funny threads have a purpose and intent...party hats.
posted by clavdivs at 5:58 AM on May 16, 2011


Just do what I did.
posted by wittgenstein at 5:58 PM on May 17, 2011


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