The pony is too cute. March 2, 2012 10:54 PM   Subscribe

When adding a contact, the reasons you can give are all positive. But those aren't the only reasons you can have for wanting their posts on your sidebar.

I recently added a contact because I think the person is loathsome and I want to follow his comments the way I want to watch slow-motion video of fiery train wrecks.

I'd like relationship definition options that reflect this.
posted by clarknova to Feature Requests at 10:54 PM (114 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

I'd rather have an ignore option.
posted by desjardins at 10:55 PM on March 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


Sorry that's not something we'll be doing, there's enough bad juju as it is without creating a whole new layer of drama because users need a way to dislike each other in another dimension. You can use greasemonkey for this if you'd like to. And just to make sure you know: we can tell who you are talking about just by going to your profile page.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:58 PM on March 2, 2012 [33 favorites]


The relationship options are based on a web standard called XFN. They're not spectacular—and we have a history of having fun with those definitions—but we're not likely to go outside of that standard anytime soon. Any option that involves insulting people or generally spreading angst is not likely to go anywhere.
posted by pb (staff) at 10:58 PM on March 2, 2012 [7 favorites]


You can add someone as a contact without checking any reason at all.
posted by crunchland at 11:00 PM on March 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


Thanks for the shout-out, clarknova.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:08 PM on March 2, 2012 [18 favorites]


Are you sure you didn't mean to post this a few threads down as a counter-example in the "things that are part of metafilter culture" thread?

It's hard for me to imagine you thought this would happen.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 11:23 PM on March 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


i too would like a "reviled nemesis" option, but this is primarily for the lulz.
posted by elizardbits at 11:28 PM on March 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'd think that twelve years in, we'd have a "slept with" option. C'mon. Surely that one would get some use. I can name six of you off the top of my head, and that's not even the people who've gotten married.
posted by heyho at 11:35 PM on March 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


Six people who have slept together, or six people you have slept with, heyho?
posted by cgc373 at 11:37 PM on March 2, 2012


Oh, I see. You must mean the former. Why am I commenting in this thread? I'm just going to have to remove it from Recent Activity. Where is my second cup of coffee?
posted by cgc373 at 11:38 PM on March 2, 2012


the worst idea
posted by Scientist at 11:40 PM on March 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


I wonder which one it could be?

clicks profile

Oh, you.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 11:42 PM on March 2, 2012


I try to collect contacts that I think will be banned or disable their accounts. Eventually once I have a good collection I will remove everyone but those people and all my contacts will be black bars.

Why no definition to reflect this?
posted by furiousxgeorge at 11:45 PM on March 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


It is only a game community weblog.
posted by Cranberry at 11:54 PM on March 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


I recently added a contact because I think the person is loathsome and I want to follow his comments the way I want to watch slow-motion video of fiery train wrecks.

I gave this up for Lent.

Highly recommended.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 12:03 AM on March 3, 2012 [6 favorites]


I'd rather have an ignore option.
This works nicely.

And just to make sure you know: we can tell who you are talking about...
Oh no the secret's out.

Thanks for the shout-out, clarknova.
Anytime, buddy!

Six people who have slept together, or six people you have slept with, heyho?
That was awesome before you apologized for it.
posted by clarknova at 12:22 AM on March 3, 2012


Sorry about the broken link. This one works nicely.
posted by clarknova at 12:59 AM on March 3, 2012


Been there.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:16 AM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]




(And so was somebody else before me...)

That is priceless.
posted by clarknova at 2:13 AM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


My word, it didn't take much Sherlocking to work out which of your ten contacts is the mouse turd in the muesli. :-)
posted by Decani at 2:22 AM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Now take my wife! Please! That is, why does, say, "spouse" have to be taken as positive?
posted by Obscure Reference at 2:42 AM on March 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


Can we get Mr and Mrs MoonPie as the official enspousenators?
posted by infini at 2:42 AM on March 3, 2012 [5 favorites]


(And so was somebody else before me...)

Yeah, she was wrong. Looks like it was just a quick joke made on first contact with the idea, well before she shouldered the responsibility of moderating the site. It's a little funny as a "gotcha" but people are allowed to change their opinions as they grow. Maybe you will too, one day.
posted by scalefree at 3:00 AM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


"You" being clarknova not obiwanwasabi. Just to be clear on that.
posted by scalefree at 3:02 AM on March 3, 2012


Obviously she was kidding, but it reads like kidding on the square to me. It's especially cute in light of the chiding tone she took in this thread.

You're cute too, when you suck up.
posted by clarknova at 3:07 AM on March 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


I recently added a contact because I think the person is loathsome and I want to follow his comments the way I want to watch slow-motion video of fiery train wrecks.

How childish.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:25 AM on March 3, 2012 [4 favorites]


You're cute too, when you suck up.

It's not sucking up, it's learning how to take on the responsibility of membership in a community. Part of it is figuring out that you don't get to indulge your baser urges because they end up hurting others & yourself as well. I know you don't get that but I hope you will in time.
posted by scalefree at 3:54 AM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


I just finished a scan of that Rush thread and it seems to me the minority opinions were expressed in good faith in a rather well-measured way. Referring to another user as 'loathesome" seems much less so.
posted by klarck at 4:19 AM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Re: the Rush thread, republican is a troll/sockpuppet, yes? No?
posted by the young rope-rider at 5:01 AM on March 3, 2012


it seems to me the minority opinions were expressed in good faith in a rather well-measured way. Referring to another user as 'loathesome" seems much less so.

And I think it's a sign of intellectual laziness and liberal naivete to believe opinions held in good faith can't be odious, and people that hold them aren't loathsome. That very thread is a case in point. Rush isn't stoking so much ire because he's speaking in bad faith, but because he's making his deepest sentiments known more honestly than we're used to. And they're appalling. I have a prurient interest in such bile and the pestilent quibbling of its defenders, but I also want it obvious to the casual snooper that I'm not on friendly terms with it.


Re: the Rush thread, republican is a troll/sockpuppet, yes? No?
It seems crazy that real human beings can think that way, doesn't it.


I know you don't get that but I hope you will in time.
I think you're mistaking maturity with senility. Growth in the soporific direction you imagine is highly unlikely. At least for a few more decades.
posted by clarknova at 5:27 AM on March 3, 2012 [5 favorites]


Intellectual laziness is a requesting a new checkbox be added for you to click because you can't adequately express your disdain in the discussion in an open thread.
posted by klarck at 5:53 AM on March 3, 2012 [5 favorites]


Kudos on finding a way to make republican more sympathetic, with this petty bullshit. i should have thought it was impossible.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:06 AM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'd like a checkbox that actually causes trainwrecks, please. Fiery derailments. Death, destruction, blood, guts, and gore.

'Cause I like to keep an eye on those things, yaknow?
posted by carsonb at 6:12 AM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Just post quixotic feature requests to metatalk. You will not want for entertainment.
posted by clarknova at 6:18 AM on March 3, 2012


quixotic feature requests

People whose feature requests are denied for perfectly good reasons frequently confuse their requests with things the community just can't handle.

This request seems like a way to foment discord on the site, which isn't a way to improve the site.
posted by OmieWise at 6:24 AM on March 3, 2012 [6 favorites]


I'd think that twelve years in, we'd have a "slept with" option.

I suspect a "Has inappropriately dirty thoughts about" category would get an awful lot more use here.
posted by Forktine at 6:29 AM on March 3, 2012 [11 favorites]


Honestly I think the feature is misnamed as it implies a two way relationship. It should be "watch" instead of "add as contact".
posted by Ad hominem at 6:35 AM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Just post quixotic feature requests to metatalk. You will not want for entertainment.

I think you got what you actually wanted here. How about we close this up now?
posted by Gator at 6:54 AM on March 3, 2012 [7 favorites]


Don't know about the pony but there is sort of a word for people you add as contacts because of the bad/disagreeable/catastrophically-wrong comments they post. It is "schadenfriend".
posted by distressingly thick sheets at 6:54 AM on March 3, 2012 [31 favorites]


schadenfriend

I'm only favoriting that because there isn't a 'best answer' option.
posted by clarknova at 7:04 AM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I too would like a "reviled nemesis" option

Now I'm fantasizing about being added as "scourge of conscience".
posted by Trurl at 7:17 AM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


While adding contacts reasons is on the table, I'd like JÄGERNEIGHBOR to be an option.
posted by Drastic at 7:18 AM on March 3, 2012


Curses. Wrong directions to Bombtown.
posted by Drastic at 7:21 AM on March 3, 2012


It was predictable what this thread would turn into, and I don't know why Jessamyn didn't close it when she answered the request.
posted by cribcage at 7:39 AM on March 3, 2012


I'd like a 'worthy fucking adversary tag,' myself.
posted by jonmc at 7:42 AM on March 3, 2012 [9 favorites]


I often wake up in a bad mood too. I try to avoid interacting with people, instead of seeking them out, labelling them and then trying to have a public discussion about it. Maybe I'm just lazy.
posted by bquarters at 8:03 AM on March 3, 2012 [4 favorites]


I often take a bit of pride in being an asshole and even I wouldn't do this. I have begged for a killfile over the years, and would have delighted in telling bigger assholes than me I was adding them, but I was told we can't have nice things because of my reviled nemesis elizardbits!
posted by cjorgensen at 8:05 AM on March 3, 2012


MINE IS AN EVIL LAUGH
posted by elizardbits at 8:39 AM on March 3, 2012 [6 favorites]


Some people take their internets way too seriously.
posted by absalom at 9:05 AM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'll take mine on the rocks, some water on the side
posted by infini at 9:12 AM on March 3, 2012


You know you can add a contact without choosing any reason at all, right?

Related: I installed the User Notes script a while back. I found that it was easy to remember the people I liked, so I never seemed to make any notes about them, but a couple of times after other people acted in jerky ways, I'd make some note about them.

Then I realized that if anyone was a jerk through and through, they'd probably show that side often enough to be memorable, and if was a one-off act of jerkitude, why be petty and put it down on their Permanent Record?

So I don't bother with User Notes any more.
posted by maudlin at 9:13 AM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'd like 'thankless moneysink' to denote my children please.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:16 AM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'd like "thankless moneysink" to denote my elected officials, most of them anyway, but the Rolling Stones maxim applies here as everywhere else.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:48 AM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Maybe you could get "how sharper than a serpent's moneysink tooth"?

I kept typing "monkeysink" which is making me laugh.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:49 AM on March 3, 2012


monkey sink
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:55 AM on March 3, 2012 [17 favorites]


Intellectual laziness is a requesting a new checkbox be added for you to click because you can't adequately express your disdain in the discussion in an open thread.

I just have a big red bicycle-horn with the word "BAD" scrawled on it in sharpie. I carry it wherever I go, and if someone has a dumb opinion or gives me the gimlet eye, I honk it frantically until they go away. Everyone around me usually gets real quiet in agreement with me
posted by Greg Nog at 10:11 AM on March 3, 2012 [18 favorites]


That horn gets a lot of use at Micheal Jackson karaoke let me tell you.
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 AM on March 3, 2012


Monkey sink
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:42 AM on March 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


That is, why does, say, "spouse" have to be taken as positive?

Yeah, just use "spouse" as a synonym for "nemesis." Problem solved.
posted by grouse at 10:53 AM on March 3, 2012


What the hell, man!

(I assume everything is about me. Especially that song. But in my defense, this makes me pretty damn loathsome, so, you know, Q.E.D.)
posted by Navelgazer at 11:12 AM on March 3, 2012


clarknova, you realize you've allowed this person you so loathe to cause you to completely self-destruct, right?
posted by jamjam at 11:24 AM on March 3, 2012


Christ, what a passive-agressive asshole.
posted by falameufilho at 11:30 AM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't know why Jessamyn didn't close it when she answered the request.

You could ask her. She's right there!

My guess though is that threads are usually left open for a while for the community to also have their say and to screw off in.

Also, monkey's for sale.
posted by cjorgensen at 12:10 PM on March 3, 2012


MetaFilter: Because users need a way to dislike each other in another dimension.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:33 PM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't know why Jessamyn didn't close it when she answered the request.

Usually we only close threads that are going badly or otherwise in trouble. We can say "ain't gonna happen" to a pony request but still have people around and talking about the topic generally. The default is for threads to remain open.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:33 PM on March 3, 2012


This is what spousing is for.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:46 PM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Re: the Rush thread, republican is a troll/sockpuppet, yes? No?

Man, I got worried for a second that I missed a RUSH thread, with some kind of contentious argument about Ayn Rand and prog rock. Then I thought about that anecdote from Gene Simmons about how he thought RUSH was weird because they just went to their rooms and read sci-fi after playing, instead of getting wrecked.

Anyway, contacts are useful if you like someone's posts.
posted by kittensofthenight at 12:53 PM on March 3, 2012 [5 favorites]


The band Rush just got awesomer for me.
posted by Splunge at 1:16 PM on March 3, 2012 [5 favorites]


"I want to watch slow-motion video of fiery train wrecks."

... and from all those who engineer such trains, you pick republican??? That guy barely rates amateur status.
posted by Ardiril at 1:21 PM on March 3, 2012 [4 favorites]


monkey's for sale.

A former girlfriend told me this story about her former boyfriend:

When he was a young boy, he and his best friend really wished they could have a pet monkey. They decided they would go home and ask their parents that night.

When the former boyfriend asked his mom if they could get a monkey, she said, "No. It'll tear down the drapes."

When his friend asked his mom if they could get a monkey, she said, "No. It'll beat the crap out of you."
posted by hydrophonic at 1:31 PM on March 3, 2012 [6 favorites]


I don't really get this.It's kind of like a call-out for trolling, done in the most passive-aggressive way possible*. Or maybe a request for a pile-on by clarknova. Or maybe it's a king of the hill thing where he insults all comers? Well, anyway, it's a gloomy post for a grey day on the grey.

*Please, do not try to show that there is a more passive-aggressive way to frame a call-out. That's is taking the pursuit of excellence in the wrong direction.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:32 PM on March 3, 2012 [5 favorites]


So is this thread open just so we can try to figure out who clarknova hates and why?
posted by empath at 2:11 PM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Got any better ideas?
posted by Ardiril at 2:14 PM on March 3, 2012


Just post quixotic feature requests to metatalk. You will not want for entertainment.

This sort of thing makes you look like you're trolling for lulz. Come to think of it, so does the original text of your post.

Was your whole purpose here to make fun of the poor liberals who'll even tolerate intolerance?
posted by anotherpanacea at 2:20 PM on March 3, 2012


Was your whole purpose here to make fun of the poor liberals who'll even tolerate intolerance?

Intolerance of the tolerance of intolerance or just wanting Metafilter to serve different purposes than the one it was designed for?
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:24 PM on March 3, 2012


"Intolerance of the tolerance of intolerance" - or, haters hating haters and those who don't hate them. Parse it to suit.
posted by Ardiril at 2:30 PM on March 3, 2012


Intolerators, uh, not gonna tolerate.
posted by box at 2:43 PM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Parse it to suit.

Alternatively, salt to taste.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:48 PM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Y'all need to smoke more DMT.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:49 PM on March 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


Pony request: is there someway that we can send real physical poop through Metafilter to posters we don't like? Or maybe someway of poking them in the eye through their profiles? I feel like Metafilter doesn't give me enough opportunities to express my dislike for some people.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 2:52 PM on March 3, 2012 [10 favorites]


What the hell is all this shit doing on my keyboard? Why does my eye hurt? Damn you, Philosopher Dirtbike! Damn you to hell!
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:55 PM on March 3, 2012 [4 favorites]


"salt to taste" - That's a cruel thing to say to someone whose heart is 15% dead muscle due to heart attacks. ;)
posted by Ardiril at 3:02 PM on March 3, 2012


Sorry that's not something we'll be doing, there's enough bad juju as it is without creating a whole new layer of drama because users need a way to dislike each other in another dimension.

I'm gonna add you as a contact on the astral plane?
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:36 PM on March 3, 2012


It's probably incredibly naïve of me to not have realized that one could buy a monkey on the internet.
posted by deborah at 4:15 PM on March 3, 2012 [5 favorites]


Those marmosets will try to hump you when they get older.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:20 PM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Dang, I clearly need to get more involved in day-to-day commenting. I don't really know anyone here enough to dislike them. I feel like I am missing out on a key Metafilter hexperience.
posted by curious nu at 4:58 PM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


It's probably incredibly naïve of me to not have realized that one could buy a monkey on the internet.

There's practically nothing but monkeys on the internet, as far as I can tell (I do not exempt myself).
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:06 PM on March 3, 2012


carsonb: "34I'd like a checkbox that actually causes trainwrecks, please. Fiery derailments. Death, destruction, blood, guts, and gore.

'Cause I like to keep an eye on those things, yaknow?
"

I KNEW it! carsonb is actually a sockpuppet for this guy!
posted by misha at 6:10 PM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Got any better ideas?

01. beer
02. random youtube dance tutorial
03. repeat til dead of lol

you are welcome.
posted by elizardbits at 6:12 PM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


The 34 preceding the quote is special superhero code, so all you pathetic average human folk can just ignore that.

And all you monkeys, too.

stupid greasemonkey script.
posted by misha at 6:12 PM on March 3, 2012


Y'all need to smoke more DMT.

You holding?
posted by clarknova at 6:14 PM on March 3, 2012


Everything you need for that is available from Amazon.com and ebay, you know.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:22 PM on March 3, 2012


After you dislike a MeFite long enough, you come around to liking them again. When they do that thing, you just start grinning and say "oh, YOU," with that faux frustrated big-hearted sarcastic voice.* I have learned to short-circuit the process and move directly to this stage. Working to develop a streamlined process yourself will help you to love MetaFilter and all the people in it even more than you do already.

*in the manner of Nicholas Cage
posted by Meatbomb at 6:45 PM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


[1] "She loves the world, and all the people in it.", The Great Curve, David Byrne, Brian Eno, Chris Frantz, Jerry Harrison, and Tina Weymouth, 1980.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:48 PM on March 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


elizardbits: i too would like a "reviled nemesis" option, but this is primarily for the lulz.

I've said it before, if we're going "(reviled) nemesis," we need to go all the way with our arches.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:56 PM on March 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is my streamlined process.
posted by clarknova at 2:36 AM on March 4, 2012


I tag people. It doesn't add them to the sidebar but it does allow me to say "oh you" after reading a comment.
posted by Memo at 8:18 AM on March 4, 2012 [5 favorites]


Now I have to start tagging people. Hours and hours wasted purely for my own secret enjoyment. Woot.
posted by SMPA at 10:53 AM on March 4, 2012


I've "heard" that "certain" users will follow RSS feeds of members.
posted by drezdn at 10:56 AM on March 4, 2012


wonka bars, wonka bars.
posted by clavdivs at 11:44 AM on March 4, 2012


How does one tag people? I've checked the FAQ and even Googled, it's eluding me. I'm sure it's someplace embarrassingly obvious, just waiting to laugh at me, but ... help?
posted by dotgirl at 12:24 PM on March 4, 2012


It's some Greasemonkey script, this is definitely not an official site feature.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:38 PM on March 4, 2012


Philosopher Dirtbike: "Pony request: is there someway that we can send real physical poop through Metafilter to posters we don't like? Or maybe someway of poking them in the eye through their profiles? I feel like Metafilter doesn't give me enough opportunities to express my dislike for some people."

I've been working on a punch through the internet script for a while. The problem is that monitor technology is lagging way behind.
posted by Splunge at 12:50 PM on March 4, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'd like a 'worthy fucking adversary tag,' myself.

Is that an especially worthy adversary, or an adversary who is worthy in the arena of fucking?
posted by kaibutsu at 1:28 PM on March 4, 2012


There's a Fuck Arena? To think I've been wasting my life at monster truck shows..
posted by clarknova at 1:34 PM on March 4, 2012


There's a Fuck Arena?

Two men enter...
posted by Forktine at 3:10 PM on March 4, 2012 [2 favorites]


I was recently defriended by someone on MeFi, and it rather surprised me -- not because I couldn't think of anything loathsome I've done recently that would have caused him to defriend me, but because I've displayed a consistent level of loathesomeness over the years, and can't imagine how it took him this long to notice.
posted by Afroblanco at 3:46 PM on March 4, 2012


jessamyn: "It's some Greasemonkey script, this is definitely not an official site feature"

Yeah, sorry, I should have mentioned it.

It's a greasemonkey script cannibalized from the Reddit User Tagger script.

I was able to make it work here but it uses localstorage for storing the tags so it's not compatible with sub-domains (tags are unique for each subsite).

Here's the script. If anyone can edit it to use cookies that would be great.

Tested only in Chrome
posted by Memo at 5:00 PM on March 4, 2012


Memo, maybe you can check out Mefi UserNotes which works on the same process. HOWEVER the UserNotes script has NEVER worked for me in Chrome, which is really sad.


I had a huge encyclopedia of boring trivia about users stored in there and now I can't remember which of y'all wears slippers to check the mail.


(WHO(M)EVER WROTE THE USERNOTES SCRIPT, PLEASE REGARD THIS AS A REQUEST TO GET IT WORKING IN MAC CHROME WHEN MEFI SCROLL TAG AND MEFIQUOTE GREASEMONKEY SCRIPTS ARE ALSO INSTALLED. THANKS, GREASEMONKIER. THREASEMONKIER.)
posted by subbes at 6:34 PM on March 4, 2012


I've been working on a punch through the internet script for a while.

When you have a second away from that, Splunge, can you take a look at my EXECUTE REMOTE USER code? It seems to be compiling properly, and yet there are many remote users who don't seem to be executed.
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:29 PM on March 4, 2012


subbes: " THREASEMONKIER"

Someone's been watching Look Around You!

When is Peter Serafinowicz going to come out with another season? He's brilliant.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:27 AM on March 5, 2012


Memo, maybe you can check out Mefi UserNotes which works on the same process. HOWEVER the UserNotes script has NEVER worked for me in Chrome, which is really sad.


Greasemonkey has a special offline data store which is distinct from localStorage. As Memo points out, localStorage isolates a separate storage area for every domain. It'll never work in chrome because chrome doesnt have the greasemonkey storage system, only localStorage.
posted by clarknova at 8:30 PM on March 5, 2012


Monkey knife fighting.
posted by tr33hggr at 8:36 AM on March 6, 2012


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