You know, just in case I want to write something for the Fringe Festival... June 23, 2012 1:00 PM   Subscribe

I'm looking for a comment that I just can't find and want to read again. It detailed a version of Sex In The City as performed as a Beckett-like Black Box stage production. The women wailed a chorus of " THE SHOES" someone said " I fear I am not fecund". I have tried every permutation I could think of with no success. I'm 99% sure I read it here.
posted by The Whelk to MetaFilter-Related at 1:00 PM (74 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

The Morning News.
posted by mykescipark at 1:09 PM on June 23, 2012 [8 favorites]


I DOUBT I AM FECUND, of course, that is so much better.

Must have been linked to from here, created th connection in my mind. Thanks mykescipark!
posted by The Whelk at 1:11 PM on June 23, 2012


Can we move this over to askme where it belongs?
posted by cjorgensen at 1:27 PM on June 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


Looking for specific comments and things mentioned in MetaFilter is a regular thing in MetaTalk.
posted by hippybear at 1:55 PM on June 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think that play version of Sex and the City would really be a lot of fun.
posted by Bwithh at 1:59 PM on June 23, 2012


Hippybear, I was making a joke. Since it wasn't a comment on this site it's not really a meta... I'm not really suggesting it be moved. (That's also not actually done.)
posted by cjorgensen at 2:14 PM on June 23, 2012


Also, article written by mefi's own ftrain.
posted by modernserf at 2:16 PM on June 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


I would each that play so hard I'd develop acne.
posted by The Whelk at 4:23 PM on June 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


Watch...I mean
.....sigh
posted by The Whelk at 4:55 PM on June 23, 2012


cjorgensen, hippybear, take it to Meta.
posted by Atreides at 5:10 PM on June 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


Whelk I am going to buy you a keyboard for your iPad.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:08 PM on June 23, 2012


It really needs a breathalyzer.
posted by The Whelk at 7:13 PM on June 23, 2012 [26 favorites]


DON'T DRINK EXPENSIVE ICELAND BOOZE
posted by shakespeherian at 8:24 PM on June 23, 2012


I'm dunk.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:50 PM on June 23, 2012


This is probably the best recent meta to not complain about my comment that was deleted in the green.

-guy thanking the mod that deleted my comment about an embarrassing moment describing a lanced boil. CHEERS MATE !!!
posted by vozworth at 9:13 PM on June 23, 2012


I am hungry. I will not marry.
posted by infinitywaltz at 9:50 PM on June 23, 2012 [3 favorites]


THE SHOES
posted by The Whelk at 2:44 AM on June 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Or Checkhov: the three sisters do not move...
posted by lucien_reeve at 4:40 AM on June 24, 2012


There really should be a MetaTalk sidebar that records the worst attempts to explain jokes about digressions that were not really digressions but misunderstandings of an attempted wry quip that would only make sense to someone at that previous meetup that was scheduled but didn't actually happen.

Wait, make that best attempt.
posted by sammyo at 6:16 AM on June 24, 2012


Am I alone in Osaka thinking that everyone should be drinking more, not less? Am I the only one in the thread whose just had a Hoegaarden Forbidden Fruit followed by a nice bottle of Delerium Tremens?

Shit. I am? Damn. Then I'm probably the only one who's filled their hotel sink with ice to keep the beer cold. To which I can only ask, why haven't you!
posted by Ghidorah at 6:41 AM on June 24, 2012


I had a Viking Summerale at the Icelandic bar like five seconds ago.
posted by The Whelk at 6:44 AM on June 24, 2012


Was it tasty? I mean, I don't really usually like Belgian beers, but these were tasty. More importantly, can you ship one of those to my place?
posted by Ghidorah at 6:52 AM on June 24, 2012


That article is hilarious. Thank you for wanting to read it, Mr. Whelk.

(My favorite is from before the Beckett stuff: "The wedding will be followed by champagne, and then by revolution, as the workers arise and take what is rightfully theirs, including the beaded Mischka wedding gown and the heaped platters of canvasback duck.")
posted by SMPA at 7:51 AM on June 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


It was light and sweet.
posted by The Whelk at 8:33 AM on June 24, 2012


Then I'm probably the only one who's filled their hotel sink with ice to keep the beer cold. To which I can only ask, why haven't you!

Becuase I have a refridgerator. Also, getting quality beer involves crossing state lines (though there is one local, which is nice)
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:34 AM on June 24, 2012

These two people, Terence Trevor-Mills and Lauren Grape-Expury, the ignorant, self-righteous recipients of a false system of wage exploitation, will be united in April during a massive wedding spectacle funded by the profits stolen from the proletariat employed by their capitalist fathers. The union, which will culminate in the corporate-and-state-supported subjugation and sexual slavery of Ms. Grape-Expury to Mr. Trevor-Mills, will be sanctioned by a paid-for church father despite the thieving hypocrisy of the celebrants, and will be attended only by other ruling capitalists, who will be served by even more proletariat, each at chafe under the rule of their masters. The wedding will be followed by champagne, and then by revolution, as the workers arise and take what is rightfully theirs, including the beaded Mischka wedding gown and the heaped platters of canvasback duck.
I love Paul Ford. Especially since he goes on to say:
I’ve seen this so often—in friends and strangers—that it seems fundamentaly unmockable. I can’t say it won’t be me...

I can’t say it won’t be me. When you understand that—when you can say it and mean it—about any of the behaviors you've been comfortable condemning since adolescence, you've well and truly grown up.
posted by languagehat at 9:34 AM on June 24, 2012 [13 favorites]


I'm probably the only one who's filled their hotel sink with ice to keep the beer cold.

Lies! I did this just two weeks ago when I was in Toronto (and when I met the charming and woofy PinkMoose). Mr. hippybear was mystified by my resourcefulness in using the sink to fill with ice and beer rather than the restroom trash can, but I simply told him, "hey, I'm an experienced hotel room partier".
posted by hippybear at 1:39 PM on June 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was aiming for a more 'At this moment kind of thing' but nuance is hard to do sometime after the nth beer. And there is a refrigerator, but it just doesn't get things cold. Hotel fridges always seem to suck in that regard.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:58 PM on June 24, 2012


That play should be wikied and crowdsourced, like Pulp Shakespeare.

1: Which one is Miranda?
2: I'm not Miranda. I'm almost sure.
3: Maybe none of us is Miranda.
posted by steef at 5:59 PM on June 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


"It will make you expectorate"
posted by The Whelk at 6:06 PM on June 24, 2012


ROF micturating
posted by flabdablet at 8:36 PM on June 24, 2012


I want a beer.
posted by Night_owl at 9:02 PM on June 24, 2012


i am still getting used to boys finding me woofy.
posted by PinkMoose at 9:58 PM on June 24, 2012


I just had an expensive artisanal Scandinavian Toasted Porter that has been highly rated by the experts. It is brewed at the foot of a volcano from meltwater that has filtered for years through volcanic rock.

It tasted a bit familiar, so I opened one of the two last bottles of my toasted oatmeal brown ale that I brewed in November. Mine was as good if not better than the highly rated and hard to find ale that sells for $6 a bottle.

This made my day. Maybe even my week.

On the other hand I just found out have a scary meeting early on the week which could result in nothing, losing a few thousand dollars or losing my job.

Is it possible, in a cosmic sense of view, to once in a lifetime, after the age of eight, to have a perfect week with absolutely no worries?
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 10:45 PM on June 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I opened one of the two last bottles of my toasted oatmeal brown ale that I brewed in November. Mine was as good if not better than the highly rated and hard to find ale that sells for $6 a bottle.

I made a (non-toasted) oatmeal stout that far eclipsed any commercial stout I can remember ever drinking.

Considering it was my first attempt at 'first principles' brewing instead of simply throwing a tin of sticky glop & a kilo of generic malt into a fermenter with a sachet of yeast, it really made me wonder just how half-arsed the commercial breweries are in their corner-cutting & skimping on quality ingredients.

mmmm...oatmeal stout....
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:06 PM on June 24, 2012


Lets say you are making 5 gallons of beer at home.

You can aim for maximum efficiency. Crush the grain very very fine and sparge until the wort runs very light (risking tannin extraction). Use the least amount possible of hops to get your IBUs, using old super high alpha acids hops for bitternes and only a little good fresh aroma hops at the end. You can really filter your wort between kettle and fermenter, extracting weird flavors from the trub. Then you ferment on yeast that has been used 3 or 4 times, pitching and the minimum necessary rate, and then try to get to the bottle as fast as possible.

Or you can add en extra 2 pounds of grain for $3.50 and use better and hops for both bittering and aroma for an extra $4.

Those $7 would turn into several thousand for a big batch.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 11:35 PM on June 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


I too have brewed a stout that eclipsed anything I have ever tasted. It did, however, only reach that level of maturity as I was drinking the last bottle.

Must try that 7.5% Belgian-esque hop monster again soon
posted by hardcode at 8:09 AM on June 25, 2012


Hardcode, you just rediscovered one of the laws of home brewing. The best bottle in the batch is always the last one.

When new home brewers ask for advice I tell them to hide a six pack of every batch in a really inconvenient place. Drink one 3 months after you finish the rest. The next one at 6 months. Then at one year. Drink the rest at one year intervals.

You will know how beer matures, when different styles peak, and when they start to decline. It is amazing the work the little left over yeast can do. They will adapt their metabolism to eat almost anything with carbon, and find ways to excrete ever more delicousness from their little scarred single celled sexy bodies.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 10:04 AM on June 25, 2012 [6 favorites]


Wow, that was a shockingly good article. Thanks Whelk for asking the question that lead to it!
posted by Doleful Creature at 10:22 AM on June 25, 2012


All my friends that know Beckett won't get the Sex and the City reference. All my friends that know Sex and the City friends won't understand the Beckett reference. Can there be misery loftier than mine?
posted by xod at 1:19 PM on June 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


This is the reason MeFi exists: for people who get both the Beckett and the Sex and the City references.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:29 PM on June 25, 2012 [10 favorites]


and hotel room partying tips!
posted by The Whelk at 1:30 PM on June 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


> Lets say you are making 5 gallons of beer at home.

Okay.

You are making 5 gallons of beer at home.
posted by Naberius at 1:57 PM on June 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


All my friends that know Beckett won't get the Sex and the City reference. All my friends that know Sex and the City friends won't understand the Beckett reference

But xod, we're your friends, and we're the Trashy Sophisticates!
posted by benito.strauss at 2:29 PM on June 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


My mistakes are my life.
posted by xod at 2:34 PM on June 25, 2012


i liek to make the psots on teh meatfilter.
posted by The Whelk at 2:39 PM on June 25, 2012


Then I'm probably the only one who's filled their hotel sink with ice to keep the beer cold.

No sir, you are not.
posted by Hoopo at 2:39 PM on June 25, 2012


Considering it was my first attempt at 'first principles' brewing instead of simply throwing a tin of sticky glop & a kilo of generic malt into a fermenter with a sachet of yeast, it really made me wonder just how half-arsed the commercial breweries are in their corner-cutting & skimping on quality ingredients.

The bit about the grain prices is true. It's much easier and much much cheaper for you to upgrade your equipment as well as your ingredients, and that equipment can make a huge difference in how your beers turn out. Another factor is that you're in control of those bottles from the time the beer gets put in them 'till they get poured. In the end, it's much easier to make and distribute an o.k. beer than a really good one. The bell curve wins again.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to figure out how I can talk my wife into picking up a six pack of Left Hand's Milk Stout Nitro on the way home.
posted by Gygesringtone at 3:23 PM on June 25, 2012


Then I'm probably the only one who's filled their hotel sink with ice to keep the beer cold.

No, no you are not.

It is highly possible, however, that I am the only one who's converted their hotel bath tub into a giant gravity bong. I was younger. Don't hate.
posted by lazaruslong at 3:49 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


In the end, it's much easier to make and distribute an o.k. beer than a really good one. The bell curve wins again.

That was my observation with mead, which was what I started out brewing years ago. Only, you should substitute "ersatz" for "o.k": every commercial mead I've tried seemed to have been brewed with regular brewing sugar, with a dash of honey thrown in at the end to fool the consumers. I assume the reason is that honeys are full of a variety of relatively complex sugars, which take a lot longer to break down. Initial fermentation for me would take anywhere from 4-6 weeks, depending on the season (compared with 4-6 days for beer).

Commercial mead breweries presumbly aim to cut down on this long turnaround, by getting most of their alco-bang from easily fermentable brewing sugar, and only use the honey for a bit of flavouring.

The result is normally a sticky, sweet concoction, suitable only for the most naive of medieval recreationists. In contrast, I used to brew mine right through to something not unlike a dry white wine, relying more on the natural characteristics of the different kinds of honeys for flavour, rather than a generic sweetness (orange blossom with about 25% leatherwood was a favourite).
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:28 PM on June 25, 2012


i am still getting used to boys finding me woofy.

BOYS!?!?

You address me as Sir. And my boots need some polishing. Get to work. ;)
posted by hippybear at 8:07 PM on June 25, 2012


Yes, SIR. (I will polish the boots, but it will most likely be a terrible job)
posted by PinkMoose at 8:30 PM on June 25, 2012


It's OK, PM. The giggling doesn't help. Just do your best.
posted by wallabear at 9:51 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Just send the boots out to a trained craftsman, they have tools and such.
posted by The Whelk at 10:07 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


can you outsource bootblacking?
posted by PinkMoose at 11:24 PM on June 25, 2012


Mr. hippybear was mystified by my resourcefulness in using the sink to fill with ice and beer rather than the restroom trash can, but I simply told him, "hey, I'm an experienced hotel room partier".

It's not a real party until the bathro^wtub is full of ice and bheer.
posted by MartinWisse at 5:29 AM on June 26, 2012


Bathtub full of champagne, pool full of naked people, table stocked high with dark chocolates and gourmet space food.

Dream a little bigger people.
posted by The Whelk at 6:44 AM on June 26, 2012


space food? There'll be astronaut ice cream at this party? This'll be the best party ever.

Seriously, I want a cocktail invented right now that somehow has a garnish of space ice cream that doesn't lose it's bizarre styrofoam crispyness upon contact with liquid.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:49 AM on June 26, 2012


I once made a cocktail where the rim was encrusted with pop rocks.

Also it was bright pink.
posted by The Whelk at 6:51 AM on June 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


That drink suggest so many thoughts, The Whelk. I'm just gonna let that one live in my brain for a while.
posted by lazaruslong at 8:21 AM on June 26, 2012


I once made a cocktail where the rim was encrusted with pop rocks.

They serve these at The Friendly Toast (in Cambridge and other locations). The cocktail involved vodka and grape Kool-aid, plus some other stuff I don't remember. Probably had a Gummibear on the swizzle stick, too.
posted by benito.strauss at 9:32 AM on June 26, 2012


Is that what's called a "Barbie's Bathwater"?
posted by lazaruslong at 9:52 AM on June 26, 2012


the theme of the party was Manic Pixie Dream Forever, nothing but SPARKLES and RAINBOWS and PIXIE WINGS and FLASHING LIGHTS
posted by The Whelk at 10:01 AM on June 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


Please tell me there was a Jello rainbow in the bathtub or something.


(Also: what is "woofy"?)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:31 PM on June 26, 2012






(Also: what is "woofy"?)

Um... hard to explain, has to do with bear subculture in the gay community. It's like "hot", but instead of meaning, say, male stripper beauty, it instead says that someone has attributes which are attractive to people who like the bear thing. It's also somehow done in a more friendly way than just saying "you're hot".. it's not uncommon to be at a bear gathering where men are saying "woof" to other men and it's a friendly acknowledgement of "you're a good looking guy, thanks for existing" or something.

As far as where it comes from, the origins are hotly debated, but there is a general consensus that it comes from this.

posted by hippybear at 6:01 PM on June 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Okay, I thought "woofy" meant "ugly like a dog" or something. Thanks.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:05 PM on June 26, 2012


I always thought it had to do with the wolf whistle myself.
posted by The Whelk at 8:50 PM on June 26, 2012


If a man looks at you and says, "Woof," you're woofy. The best compliment.
posted by wallabear at 10:04 PM on June 26, 2012


I'd pefer cash.

Or at least some drunken making out.
posted by The Whelk at 10:17 PM on June 26, 2012


"Woof" is often followed by the latter.
posted by wallabear at 10:35 PM on June 26, 2012


the theme of the party was Manic Pixie Dream Forever

I hope at the very end you all burned Zooey Deschanel in effigy.
posted by elizardbits at 7:54 AM on June 27, 2012


ZOOEY! ZOOEY FOR THE QUIRK GOD! PIXIES FOR THE SPARKLE THRONE! DIE FOR YOUR QUIRKS!
posted by The Whelk at 7:56 AM on June 27, 2012


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