Best comment contest August 20, 2012 12:47 PM   Subscribe

We should have a best comment contest. I don't know how it would be decided exactly, but presumably the mods have come up with some criteria for the best post contest, so perhaps they could be applied to comments.
posted by desjardins to Feature Requests at 12:47 PM (98 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

I'm not sure how this would work, since comments are so context-dependent. But for fun here are the most-favorited comments.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:52 PM on August 20, 2012 [6 favorites]


I don't think we'd try and do that, no. The Best Post thing is, even in its mild contentiousness whenever it comes around, something that's at least kind of concrete and definable in terms of a kind of self-contained thing people do on the site—you put together a post on your own terms and in your own time because you have a thing you want to post about—and with comments the context tends to be a lot different.

To the extent that we want people to be commenting thoughtfully and in good faith and all that I'd hope people were generally trying to make good comments, but I think the performative aspects of competing to make The Best Comment might be pretty problematic and not something we want to codify and incentive, basically.

As it is the stuff that lands on Best Of and the sidebar feels like a good always-on, no-contest-involved approach to highlighting some of the great stuff that comes along.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:53 PM on August 20, 2012 [6 favorites]


We should have a best comment contest.

Nah, sounds stunty and reeks of people falling over themselves trying to sound clever.

Posts have a higher barrier for excellence, so a contest there makes more sense. I don't see how a best comment contest would improve Metafilter.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:55 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


This should turn into a zen exercise: the best comment will be the one that is not made. It will be judged strictly on the conspicuousness of its absence. The winner will receive nothing.
posted by griphus at 1:01 PM on August 20, 2012 [49 favorites]



posted by Salvor Hardin at 1:04 PM on August 20, 2012 [17 favorites]


the comment i didn't make before this one was fucking awesome
posted by elizardbits at 1:05 PM on August 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


Ok. Awkward.
posted by Melismata at 1:06 PM on August 20, 2012


Ah, just send Sonascope an iPad and be done with it.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:06 PM on August 20, 2012 [10 favorites]


Whoah, whoah, WHOAH.

Awesome is fucking fabulous, your comment is a goddamn home wrecker.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:07 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Whoah, whoah, WHOAH.

I should win this contest because I did not immediaSHE'S A LAY-DEE
posted by griphus at 1:08 PM on August 20, 2012 [5 favorites]


WHOA...
I'm Keanu Reeves.
posted by iamkimiam at 1:12 PM on August 20, 2012


Whichever comment gets the most favorites wins.

[ducks]
posted by Egg Shen at 1:30 PM on August 20, 2012


Awesome!
posted by shakespeherian at 1:31 PM on August 20, 2012


My favorite posts tend to bring light to unknown corners of the net, spaces I would have never visited had the OP not held my hand and brought me there. My favorite comments tend to be bitter, rude, and full of swears. I don't think this contest would represent the best of metafilter, at least from my perspective.
posted by Think_Long at 1:52 PM on August 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


This should turn into a zen exercise: the best comment will be the one that is not made. It will be judged strictly on the conspicuousness of its absence. The winner will receive nothing.

I've sometimes thought of posting an appreciation here on MeTa for everybody who had something to say (especially in the heat of the moment about a contentious topic), typed it out, and then thought better of it.

Hell, I'll do it now. If you've done this, your contribution, while tacit and unknowable, has made this place better. Thank you.
posted by gauche at 1:56 PM on August 20, 2012 [13 favorites]


Nah, sounds stunty and reeks of people falling over themselves trying to sound clever. --- we already have that, thanks to the favorites system.
posted by crunchland at 2:02 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


My favorite comments tend to be bitter, rude, and full of swears.

So fucking typical.
posted by Egg Shen at 2:16 PM on August 20, 2012 [6 favorites]


The site is already too much of a best comment contest.
posted by John Cohen at 2:17 PM on August 20, 2012 [6 favorites]


I'd favorite John Cohen's post a thousand times if I could.
posted by MoonOrb at 2:20 PM on August 20, 2012


This should turn into a zen exercise: the best comment will be the one that is not made. It will be judged strictly on the conspicuousness of its absence.

posted by griphus


Nina Blackburn: They say it's the quiet ones that you have to watch out for.

Tasty Taste: And, if you've noticed, I ain't said shit for a couple minutes now.
posted by Boxenmacher at 2:29 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't begrudge you your favorites, Salvor Hardin, and I'm not accusing you of plagiarism, but I do have to point out that every word in your comment occurs in my previous comment, in the exact same order.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:30 PM on August 20, 2012


A best comment contest would heavily conflict with the ongoing first comment contest. Though the old adage will undoubtedly apply: first being the worst, second being the best, and third being the one with the hairy chest.
posted by antonymous at 2:34 PM on August 20, 2012


something something Sonascope something.

Sometime I fantasize about someone making a post that's like right in the sweet spot of the intersection of my personal and professional life such that I could really knock one out of the park in that perfect serendipitous metafiltery way that happens.

But nobody's going to make about [PROFESSION REDACTED] where [PERSONAL DETAILS REDACTED] matter, so a Best Comment contest would mostly just make me wish I were a more interesting, vibrant person, and a good way to not become a more interesting, vibrant person is to spend a lot of time wishing you were one.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go up on the roof and appreciate the green of the backyard gardens across the block, and the hazy view of that gorgeous bridge. It's not a clock tower art museum, but it's not nothing.
posted by Sokka shot first at 2:40 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


... and obviously:

MetaFilter: sounds stunty and reeks of people falling over themselves trying to sound clever.
posted by modernnomad at 3:02 PM on August 20, 2012


We should totally have a contest to see who can have the most deleted comments in a 72 hour period, any 72 hour period inside of a month timeframe. I'm not trying to imply that the mods don't earn their paychecks already, but we need to make sure they're keeping on their toes.

The winner gets to permanently rename the site to anything he/she wishes, and also gets to pick one member of their choosing to come live with them as their servant (regular or sexual) for an as-yet-to-be determined time period.
posted by item at 3:34 PM on August 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows

posted by mazola at 3:36 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


best comment prize: banhammer
posted by jfuller at 3:51 PM on August 20, 2012


Cool, I know a new way to make a blank comment. Thanks, Salvor. I will guard the knowledge well. Sorry, benito. The method you used is known to me. It is known.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 3:53 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Best comment styles:
  • Some sloppiness with the grammar makes it funny
  • Just slam-dunked religion
  • Just slam-dunked atheism
  • Deep narrative, written like a 1970s Marvel comic (liberal italics)
  • "Man, people who lived before us did funny things. Here is my great-uncle Joe's story about tripping over a ____ and becoming the world's _____ _____."
  • "Actually, I am a urethroanthropoliticogyropologist. This is my job. And here is how it works."
  • "And that, children of MeFi, is why I will ____ do ____ again." [ 59,244 favorites + ]
  • "I was there when you did the thing that got you those 59,244 favorites! Here is how I remember it..."
  • Listings of stuff
posted by circular at 4:00 PM on August 20, 2012 [4 favorites]


Just for the record, I'm constantly holding a best comment contest in my head. There are two major categories: best original limerick, and best pun. The winners will earn my undying admiration.
posted by .kobayashi. at 4:23 PM on August 20, 2012 [2 favorites]



Ah, just send Sonascope an iPad and be done with it.


NO, we hound him into finishing his novel so he can become rich and famous and adopt me us
posted by The Whelk at 4:47 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


How about the comment deleted with the most prejudice? Comment with fewest typos? Most sincere comment? Least correct comment?

Wait, I actually have an idea of how this could work, but we'd have to convince James Randi to judge The Amazing Randi's favorite comment.
posted by cmoj at 4:52 PM on August 20, 2012


Comment with fewest most typos?

I win by defualt.
posted by The Whelk at 4:55 PM on August 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


I win because this comment was supposed to be the complete novelettes of Balzac.
posted by cmoj at 4:58 PM on August 20, 2012


We should have a best comment contest. I don't know how it would be decided exactly

keep it under 140 characters.
posted by philip-random at 5:09 PM on August 20, 2012


Well, if there's ever a worst comment contest, we'd have a contestant, unfortunately.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:19 PM on August 20, 2012


This should turn into a zen exercise: the best comment will be the one that is not made. It will be judged strictly on the conspicuousness of its absence. The winner will receive nothing.

It's not that the best comment is no comment; it's that we fundamentally misunderstand the comment.

FPPs produce comments, and comments cannot become FPPs. However, we should not see the comment as after and the FPP as before. Know that an FPP exists in the normative state of cFPPs, and though it has a before and after, the realms of before and after are disconnected. Comments, in the normative state of comments, has before and after, just as that FPP, after having elicited comments, does not again become a comment, so after dying a person does not become alive again.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:25 PM on August 20, 2012


There's a long-running best comment contest on my profile page. You have to make soda squirt out of my nostrils, though, so there've only been sixteen winners since I started.
posted by brina at 5:28 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well, if there's ever a worst comment contest, we'd have a contestant, unfortunately.

I bet he even posted it from an Android device, just to get at you.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 5:49 PM on August 20, 2012 [3 favorites]


While we're at it, how about one for the most frivolous Metatalk post of the month?
posted by special-k at 6:04 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


All my comments are the best. I love them all.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:49 PM on August 20, 2012


Just for the record, I'm constantly holding a best comment contest in my head. There are two major categories: best original limerick, and best pun.

To christen one comment the best
Requires we consider the rest
And what's typed by most hands
(Like your cat's rearward glands)
Is chokingly foul when expressed
posted by psoas at 6:50 PM on August 20, 2012 [6 favorites]


I know it's brazen of me, but I've got to nominate this comment of mine. The fact that I made it while sincerely trying to communicate clearly has got to count for something.
posted by benito.strauss at 6:51 PM on August 20, 2012 [5 favorites]


Benito.strauss, that gets an honorable mention at least.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 6:52 PM on August 20, 2012


I want to nominate the death pepper comment. Not only a great comment, it is a great work of fiction. Realy, should be in some fucking literary journal.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:56 PM on August 20, 2012


I can't find it. It has got to be at like 10-20k favs at this point.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:59 PM on August 20, 2012


herrdoktor's crazy Vegas story is definitely a good one. I go back and read it sometimes because I love it so.

I also love the entire output of 'Doctor' Terence Malick.
posted by winna at 7:02 PM on August 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


This comment wins.
posted by anotherpanacea at 7:03 PM on August 20, 2012




Look, the important thing isn't which individual made the best comment, it's about all of us making comments together as a group in order to derail this thread into a vicious squabble about religion, feminism, or politics.
posted by wolfdreams01 at 7:20 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Frankly, I think it's only the sects which keep a woman firmly in her place, i.e. the home, which should have a voice at election time.
posted by hippybear at 7:50 PM on August 20, 2012


Ad hominem: you mean the Apocalypse Pepper comment?
posted by gingerest at 8:22 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


it's about all of us making comments together as a group in order to derail this thread into a vicious squabble about religion, feminism, or politics.

You forgot declawing.
posted by arcticseal at 8:54 PM on August 20, 2012


I would settle for more sidebar action.
posted by fyrebelley at 9:17 PM on August 20, 2012




Metafilter: reeks of people falling over themselves trying to sound clever.

suck it, tagline haters
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:35 PM on August 20, 2012


I approve of this thread because I learned I had the #35 most favorited comment of all time. But it wasn't that great a comment, I was just being righteously indignant and unusually brief (for me). I'm far mote amused by the goose attacking the flasher, and proudest of "High school is the world of Jane Austen" among my high-fave comments. Also fond of my mom jeans rant since I've been pants shopping this week.

In summary, why is AstroZombie's comment so way, way out in front? Is it forming its own government and demanding tribute in favorites?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:38 PM on August 20, 2012


My long my biggest favorites comment is about cooking duck.

Maybe there is a duck conspiracy within metafilter.

Holy shit, cortex, Millard , a breath away from mallard.....
posted by The Whelk at 10:40 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


A selection of my favorite things.

quin's genius plan as a ghost eliminator.

Faze hates the bass solo.

aeschenkarnos reviews Outside.

robocop is bleeding with the best first date advice ever.

jb shares the true excitement of history.

Irdic tells of his fame in the Basque country.

Greg Nog's mom leaves him the most awkward voicemail ever. Plus cats!

Another comment from Greg Nog about his Maine Coon cat getting him into trouble at a bake sale.

We cannot trust beefetish with sports cars.

elizardbits is not at Rock-a-Doodle.

griphus was a young go-getter!

Jehan's campaign!

FAMOUS MONSTER defends my friends the spiders.

Decani likes something!

Sticherbeast gives us the logical next step of paleo cuisine.
posted by winna at 10:49 PM on August 20, 2012 [8 favorites]


my biggest favorites comment is about cooking duck.

Mine is about mittens.
posted by KathrynT at 11:18 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Listings of stuff

You wish.

(+ you should have added one-liners).
posted by Namlit at 11:24 PM on August 20, 2012


herrdoktor's crazy Vegas story is definitely a good one. I go back and read it sometimes because I love it so.

Fuck that herrdoktor. Fuck him right up.

Over eighteen months now, have I been waiting for the follow-up lesson on how to score free casino robes.

Over eighteen months... Bastard!!!!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:01 AM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


I can see that a general 'best comment' contest would encourage wisecracks and stroking ofMefi's known prejudices.

But maybe something a little different? Best extra linkage added to someone else's post? Best expression of an opinion I totally disagree with? Best calm voice of reason? Best factual input? Best re-rail? Conspicuous courtesy?
posted by Segundus at 1:11 AM on August 21, 2012


Yeah, my vote is for herrdoktor, too.
posted by Grither at 3:56 AM on August 21, 2012




Mine is about mittens

And the instant I read that I went " oh is that the story about super cool sniper mittens?!" and it was.
posted by The Whelk at 6:50 AM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Mine is about mittens.

Curiously, so is mine. Metafilter clearly has a thing for mittens. Perhaps because it's a name one might give to a cute kitten.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:56 AM on August 21, 2012


Or a presidential candidate!
posted by The Whelk at 7:00 AM on August 21, 2012


Faze hates the bass solo.

As irascible and contrarian, and rude, and as wrong as Faze could be sometimes, I actually miss the guy. He was a wordsmith, at the very least.

I'm a bass layer because I'm not a soloist. The bass is an accompanying instrument -- if I wanted to solo, I'd have played the stupid guitar. That was a righteous rant.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:02 AM on August 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


my biggest favorites comment is about cooking duck.

"My biggest favorites comment" is just so inelegant. It is an important concept though, so we need a term. I nominate "favoritedest comment;" it rolls off the tongue.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:14 AM on August 21, 2012


I should start a band called The Favoritedest.
posted by The Whelk at 7:17 AM on August 21, 2012


> That was a righteous rant.

That was a dumb rant, like many of Faze's eloquent yammerings. Just because you don't care to solo doesn't mean no bass players can or should. But I said my piece in that thread, so I won't repeat it here.
posted by languagehat at 7:29 AM on August 21, 2012


I'm sorry, Mr. Henley, but you favorited the wrong comment.
posted by TedW at 7:57 AM on August 21, 2012


This is one of my favorites:

Is it harder to keep your balance in the dark?

RMALCOLM, a physicist, inventor of the Malcom Horizon and a retired Canadian Astronaut, posted this answer.
posted by mlis at 8:35 AM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Just because you don't care to solo doesn't mean no bass players can or should.

If you're Victor Wooten, maybe. It's kind of a trope because there are so many crap bass solos out there. Not that they're all crap, but especially in rock moreso than jazz. And actually, I kinda like to solo, but fortunately for you, that's what headphones are for. :-)
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:41 AM on August 21, 2012


And yeah, of course it's more they style of his contrarian rants than the correctness of them that made 'em fun for me. He could be hilariously wrong & generally hilarious at the same time.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:44 AM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Perhaps because it's a name one might give to a cute kitten.

I had a cat named Mittens and it only just occurred to me that this might have caused some prejudice on my part.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:47 AM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is just about my favorite comment ever.
posted by LionIndex at 9:11 AM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


If you're Victor Wooten, maybe.

I figure that if Jimmy Garrison could not hold my attention with a bass solo, it's a problem with bass solos in general.
posted by Egg Shen at 9:41 AM on August 21, 2012


Yay mefi infodump!

Hm. This is awkard:

If 500 people favorite this comment, I'll disable my account.
posted by hermitosis at 6:54 PM on February 10, 2008 [510 favorites +] [!]
posted by cavalier at 10:01 AM on August 21, 2012


Hm. This is awkard:

To be fair, they went over, nullifying the contract. That's blackjack, folks.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:42 AM on August 21, 2012


And actually, I kinda like to solo, but fortunately for you, that's what headphones are for. :-)

I swear I read that as "that's what headstones are for," and I thought "Technically true, Devils Rancher, but I think you should enjoy soloing on this side of the grave...."
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:46 AM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


You kids, you forget your history. He did in fact promptly shutter the account when it hit 500. And then it was the era of [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST]. And then eventually he asked nicely to come back to his original handle.

I remember taking kind of a dim view to the whole thing on account of the dramarama stuntiness, though I'm pretty much over it now.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:48 AM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well hot damn. I done forgotten. Thanks as always for setting me straight, brain stem.
posted by cavalier at 11:01 AM on August 21, 2012


THAT'S THE MEDULA OBLONGATA
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:10 AM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


That's real cerebral, cortex.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:12 AM on August 21, 2012


Is there lots of intra-brain rivalry?
posted by The Whelk at 11:12 AM on August 21, 2012


Shitmittens.
posted by homunculus at 1:52 PM on August 21, 2012


I got your bass player right here
posted by clavdivs at 2:31 PM on August 21, 2012


That's what she said.
posted by lathrop at 2:39 PM on August 21, 2012


THAT'S THE MEDULA OBLONGATA

THAT'S NO MEDULA OBLONGATA, THAT'S MY WIFE

posted by Greg Nog at 5:19 PM on August 21, 2012


Well hot damn. I done forgotten. Thanks as always for setting me straight, brain stem.
posted by cavalier at 11:01 AM on August 21 [+] [!]


THAT'S THE MEDULA OBLONGATA
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:10 AM on August 21 [1 favorite +] [!]


That's real cerebral, cortex.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:12 AM on August 21 [+] [!]


BRAINSTEM
posted by hippybear at 7:48 PM on August 21, 2012


Q: What wears a leather jacket, comprises the upper brainstem, and says "eyyyyyyy"?

A: THE PONZ
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:19 PM on August 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


THAT'S NO MEDULA OBLONGATA, THAT'S MY WIFE

THAT'S NO MEDULA OBLONGATA, THAT'S A SPACE STATION



OR -- THAT'S NO MEDULLA OBLONGATA; "MEDULLA OBLONGATA" HAS TWO 'L'S IN IT



I'LL SEE MYSELF OUT

posted by tzikeh at 10:26 PM on August 21, 2012


thank you tzikeh that was bothering me
posted by gingerest at 10:32 PM on August 21, 2012


you're welcome gingerest there's something bizarrely satisfying about having this particular kind of conversation in smalltext and without punctuation isn't there
posted by tzikeh at 11:33 PM on August 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


loud noises
posted by cavalier at 6:15 AM on August 22, 2012


The medula cut out the extra l to try and slim things down because it was feeling self-conscious about people calling it "oblongata" all the time.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:53 AM on August 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


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