Usernames which match expertise October 19, 2014 4:22 AM   Subscribe

What are some MeFi usernames which match their users' expertise? For example, physicsmatt comes in to set things straight regarding physics posts. And backseatpilot can be relied upon to supply intelligent aviation-related info. Who else comments pretty much exclusively on topics represented by their username?
posted by paleyellowwithorange to MetaFilter-Related at 4:22 AM (239 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

Languagehat
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 4:26 AM on October 19, 2014 [19 favorites]


Also, computech_apolloniajames.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 4:48 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


the man of twists and turns has made several politics-related posts, which made me smile.
posted by marienbad at 5:08 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


as the name would suggest, I am a hopelessly douchey pick-up artist type
posted by DoctorFedora at 5:36 AM on October 19, 2014 [13 favorites]


I've made 35 posts to MetaTalk in my time here.
posted by grouse at 5:37 AM on October 19, 2014 [64 favorites]


Yes, I AM an expert on the Huron River.

(also, I've always found Cortex to be a bit Cerebral, if that counts)
posted by HuronBob at 5:37 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Oh, that's funny. I've always thought Cortex was a bit superficial.
posted by nobody at 5:39 AM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


Mmmmmm, chocolate.
posted by cocoagirl at 5:55 AM on October 19, 2014 [5 favorites]


travelwithcats often answers AskMe questions on the obvious
posted by Jacqueline at 5:57 AM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


I'm known to drop Red Dwarf references in comments here and there.
posted by jozxyqk at 6:01 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


Yet another instance where I'm doing it wrong.
posted by arcticseal at 6:04 AM on October 19, 2014 [8 favorites]


I pretty much confine myself to comments about the intersection of the dairy and near-space exploration industries.
posted by moonmilk at 6:05 AM on October 19, 2014 [14 favorites]


You'll find out later! :)
posted by Meatbomb at 6:06 AM on October 19, 2014 [29 favorites]


I am indeed the father of all truth, and everything I write is to be accepted as unfailingly true.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 6:10 AM on October 19, 2014 [18 favorites]


I've spent decades studying my subject.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:10 AM on October 19, 2014 [11 favorites]


uhhhhhh
posted by dudekiller at 6:17 AM on October 19, 2014 [18 favorites]


I know all about vrak!
posted by vrakatar at 6:22 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I do have a husky. I don't let him type, but I do translate his advice on askme.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:23 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I rarely stop moving.
posted by kinetic at 6:27 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I am an expert on appearing out of nowhere, wreaking havoc, and disappearing quickly while leaving a path of destruction in my wake.
posted by Elly Vortex at 6:38 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Anyone need a site designed and hosted?

Or....a spider who wants to have an affair with your husband?
posted by the webmistress at 6:42 AM on October 19, 2014 [19 favorites]


Isn't there an undertaker here called ColdGuy or something like that?
posted by dfriedman at 6:53 AM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


Actually Coldchef....
posted by dfriedman at 6:54 AM on October 19, 2014 [6 favorites]


I'm always on time.
posted by Punctual at 6:57 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I know more about this subject than you can possibly imagine.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 6:58 AM on October 19, 2014 [14 favorites]


I write for a living.

(An extremely modest living....)
posted by Narrative Priorities at 6:58 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


This is the first time I've ever wished I had picked a clever user name.
posted by Bruce H. at 7:00 AM on October 19, 2014 [9 favorites]


I tend to be very quiet around here.
posted by pianissimo at 7:05 AM on October 19, 2014 [30 favorites]


Someone once thought I must know something about moving to Minnesota, but unfortunately I only know how to take the first vowel out of a mango. (I can't even disemvowel myself competently!)
posted by Mngo at 7:09 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Hi.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 7:12 AM on October 19, 2014 [9 favorites]


Vote #1 Quidnunc Kid .

Personally, I'm just a relic of an old scandal so I don't have much to contribute to NSA spying discussions anymore. (However, I am still reading everyone's MeMail.)

Isn't there an undertaker here called ColdGuy or something like that?

Yes, if I have any say in the matter.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:17 AM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


my comments stink
posted by stinkfoot at 7:30 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


wurf whine

*beg*
posted by Wolfdog at 7:31 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


lol @ "coldguy"
posted by nadawi at 7:38 AM on October 19, 2014 [14 favorites]


I'm kind of like Che Guevara but with buttons for eyes.
posted by Sockpuppet Liberation Front at 7:47 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I am shocked, just shocked that no has created a new account with a name referring to genital size or some other sexual innuendo.

Little disappointed too.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:48 AM on October 19, 2014


what expertise?
posted by president of the solipsist society at 7:50 AM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


Ice Cream Socialist has an keen sense for the unfair distribution of frozen dairy products.
posted by Quilford at 7:53 AM on October 19, 2014


I am an expert on typographic symbols that have two vertical lines and two horizontal lines that intersect the verticals forming nine squares in the negative space created.
posted by octothorpe at 7:53 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


I know all about Randy Moss paying off his fine, but nobody ever makes an FPP about it.
posted by cashman at 8:02 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


Whenever somebody posts something about lawnmovers wrooming, sprinklers wooshing and/or neighbors gossiping - I'll be there.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 8:23 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


Before he quit the site, The Straightener used to be a treasure trove of information and good advice about crisis services.
posted by trunk muffins at 8:32 AM on October 19, 2014 [9 favorites]


I am shocked, just shocked that no has created a new account with a name referring to genital size or some other sexual innuendo.

Well, we did have the user whose name referenced his fondness for oral pleasuring ladies. Although now I can't find the username so perhaps I'm mis-remembering.
posted by winna at 8:37 AM on October 19, 2014




I am shocked, just shocked that no has created a new account with a name referring to genital size or some other sexual innuendo.

My first name is double?
posted by mr. digits at 9:07 AM on October 19, 2014


I'm a scoutmaster.
posted by boo_radley at 9:12 AM on October 19, 2014 [9 favorites]


Well, we did have the user whose name referenced his fondness for oral pleasuring ladies. Although now I can't find the username so perhaps I'm mis-remembering.

LadiesILoveCunninglinguis or something like that, who I believe was given a talking to about it and the name was changed or deleted. It did come off creepy.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:20 AM on October 19, 2014


Thus, I give up the spear..

(Inn u end o, Brandon Blatcher!)

I'm really very fond of whales. Know a little bit about em.
posted by Ahab at 9:23 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


I never approve of anything and am always ready to find the reason why something you like is politically unsuitable.
posted by Frowner at 9:27 AM on October 19, 2014 [7 favorites]


I am shocked, just shocked that no has created a new account with a name referring to genital size or some other sexual innuendo.

GODDAMMIT IT'S A SONG I WAS INTO IN 2009
posted by Think_Long at 9:27 AM on October 19, 2014 [5 favorites]


I know a lot about that machine the cleans the ice.
posted by Seymour Zamboni at 9:30 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I've spent decades studying my subject.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:10 on October 19


This is impeccable timing, as I have a Brandon which requires Blatching immediately!
posted by briank at 9:31 AM on October 19, 2014 [16 favorites]


Suddenly Seymour
Is cleaning the ice rink...

posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:33 AM on October 19, 2014 [7 favorites]


All of the guys I've got busy with have said that why yes, I DO have an amazing butt.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:36 AM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


I am basically useless.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:43 AM on October 19, 2014 [18 favorites]


it me
posted by poffin boffin at 9:54 AM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


I am reasonably well-versed in the Boston food scene. (My username is also the name of my food blog.)
posted by The Girl Who Ate Boston at 9:56 AM on October 19, 2014


I've been known to. Mostly in my younger years.
posted by raisingsand at 10:08 AM on October 19, 2014


I'm really picky about who I bring down with me.
posted by Tandem Affinity at 10:24 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


> I am basically useless.
> posted by Sys Rq


If you ever feel the need for a second account, I'd love it if you chose the username 'Prt Sc'.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:29 AM on October 19, 2014 [6 favorites]


You can use the Ask MeFi Interest Areas tool to check if your username aligns with the tags used for ask.mes you comment on the most! It mainly shows cats and food for me. Hm, guess I should answer more travel related questions. :-)
posted by travelwithcats at 10:30 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


My username is a contraction of my real name and I am an expert on myself.
posted by jonmc at 10:33 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I know a lot about that machine the cleans the ice.
posted by Seymour Zamboni


Well, this is awkward.
posted by zamboni at 10:39 AM on October 19, 2014 [34 favorites]


I talk way too much about cutting babies in half. Way too much.
posted by Solomon at 10:41 AM on October 19, 2014 [11 favorites]


I'll just leave myself here.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 10:59 AM on October 19, 2014 [20 favorites]


I hook things together to make them work in ways they weren't necessarily designed for, and tend to answer questions from people attempting same.
posted by contraption at 11:15 AM on October 19, 2014


gruuuu
posted by The Whelk at 11:23 AM on October 19, 2014 [5 favorites]


I would just like to state for the record that I don't work in showbusiness, I don't know anything about showbusiness, I just liked the fact that showbiz rhymed with Liz. Sorry for being misleading.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:31 AM on October 19, 2014 [10 favorites]


I am short in stature but large in spirit.

That's what I tell myself, anyway.
posted by homunculus at 11:34 AM on October 19, 2014 [6 favorites]


I really do wear a black t-shirt with jeans almost daily.
posted by blacktshirtandjeans at 11:43 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


no one has ever really grappled with me in my time on this site so I guess I'm a pretty sweet kid. I realize every time I say that I am tempting fate, but it seems to be there to be tempted.
posted by sweetkid at 11:46 AM on October 19, 2014


I mean fate is never really sitting there, like, no I'm being good today.
posted by sweetkid at 11:47 AM on October 19, 2014


Shut up.
posted by Splunge at 11:50 AM on October 19, 2014


I uh... Prometheus or the best answer to "do you have a light"?
posted by Pyrogenesis at 11:51 AM on October 19, 2014


You can take anything I say as truth, to be accepted without argument.
posted by axiom at 12:01 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


docpops is a physician and graces us with his expertise on the world of medicine.
posted by mbrubeck at 12:03 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Some people say I'm.....
posted by easily confused at 12:05 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Those who've met me in person can attest to my affinity for human hearts, skulls, and severed hands. And I do have a two-snake head.

On topic, drpynchon is a for-real doctor, right? Not just a good simulation?
posted by Coatlicue at 12:08 PM on October 19, 2014


I am exactly one quarter of the way to my final FPP.
posted by 256 at 12:09 PM on October 19, 2014 [7 favorites]


Anytime anyone needs advice on Flying Nun music from the 1980s, I'll be there.
posted by Pink Frost at 12:31 PM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


Oh, and to suggest someone else: 26.2 does indeed run marathons.
posted by Pink Frost at 12:32 PM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


rtha is for the birds. I mean, about the birds!
posted by Quietgal at 1:00 PM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


I have the advantage of versatility
posted by Another Fine Product From The Nonsense Factory at 1:10 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


I have been known to play "Home on the Range" on the ukelele.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 1:12 PM on October 19, 2014


There's a guy here named fishfucker but I haven't seen him in awhile.
posted by Kangaroo at 1:17 PM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


I made a post about bacon last week.
posted by biffa at 1:38 PM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


I know surprisingly little about lemurs. And not doing the opposite of what the OP was asking for.

But I'm great at triple-negatives, it would seem!
posted by Lemurrhea at 1:44 PM on October 19, 2014


There's a guy here named fishfucker but I haven't seen him in awhile.

Bycatch is a problem that affects us all, but some more than others.
posted by Lemurrhea at 1:45 PM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


ethnomethodologist
posted by pravit at 2:00 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


who's your favorite cabinet minister?
posted by philip-random at 2:00 PM on October 19, 2014


I am from west central Scotland, and I am inordinately fond of beer.
posted by Jakey at 2:05 PM on October 19, 2014


Confession time: I've only seen "Treehouse of Horror III" once.
posted by zombieflanders at 2:06 PM on October 19, 2014 [5 favorites]


I'm not really interested in anyone else's opinions.
posted by Ideefixe at 2:14 PM on October 19, 2014 [7 favorites]


All day I've been hearing a voice in my head and it's Dennis Farina saying, "'eey, Coldguy...."
posted by Room 641-A at 2:26 PM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


This whole conversation is rather
posted by chavenet at 2:54 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


I used to be somebody.
posted by ColdChef at 3:02 PM on October 19, 2014 [28 favorites]


I don't know anything about Canadian banks or hockey. Or gardening, really.
posted by desjardins at 3:03 PM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


Highly educated about boobs and their maintenance, as well as the less exciting presidents. And puns.

(Paging Herbert Hooters! Seriously, I got a list of these a mile long.)
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 3:06 PM on October 19, 2014 [7 favorites]


Anyone who's met me will tell you that I am a skull, and also rather pale.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:10 PM on October 19, 2014


I was wrong about Chinese food. It's ginger, not soy sauce.
posted by chinesefood at 3:16 PM on October 19, 2014


Every single one of my comments is an ordered string of characters.
posted by Sequence at 3:29 PM on October 19, 2014 [6 favorites]


I have an extremely unsatisfactory relationship with food, despite being the nourishment of the Greek pantheon.
posted by ambrosen at 3:31 PM on October 19, 2014


I feel as if I am too large a presence in AskMes about domesticated cats.
posted by jaguar at 3:33 PM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


If you need an expert in the best pairings with fried chicken and gravy, I'm your girl.
posted by SweetTeaAndABiscuit at 3:38 PM on October 19, 2014 [8 favorites]


200 times around the seawall for me, this year. Ask me anything.
posted by seawallrunner at 3:49 PM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


My MeFi history shows that my posts are seasonal with a bit of this and a bit of that.
posted by salad at 3:50 PM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I'm shocked...
posted by v-tach at 4:02 PM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I dropped out of a marine sciences grad program...
posted by oceanjesse at 4:03 PM on October 19, 2014


I know some things about bees...
posted by dbmcd at 4:17 PM on October 19, 2014


I'm pretty good at demolition and urban pre-renewal development strategies, though mostly in the Tokyo area.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:51 PM on October 19, 2014 [7 favorites]


Also, Cold Guy > Hawk Guy
posted by Ghidorah at 4:52 PM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


Like my handle, I'm a specialist in 19th-c. British lit. Um, without the profitable forgery sideline, though.
posted by thomas j wise at 4:56 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Meh.
posted by ApathyGirl at 4:57 PM on October 19, 2014 [25 favorites]


I have two lips. I can hold my own in conversations about sounds made by humans.

Also I drop into threads to talk about what I do and do not do to my body hair. I am an expert on my vagina.

Vaginas were not at all in my mind when I chose my username. Seriously.
posted by bilabial at 5:12 PM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


I would say more but I have to run ...
posted by Dashy at 5:31 PM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I am still relieved that, 15 years ago in library school, I didn't go with my original Internet name idea: "Bookwhore."
posted by bibliowench at 5:46 PM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


I rarely, if ever, post about math. Or trees.
posted by naturalog at 5:48 PM on October 19, 2014


On the opposite end of the spectrum, zippy is no pinhead.
posted by Room 641-A at 5:58 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm lacking complete accuracy.
posted by unliteral at 6:11 PM on October 19, 2014


Many people feel that I post while concussed. This is untrue. On the old Plastic.com, I was accused of being a Juggalo, and I do listen to ICP on occasion.*

I sometimes include footnotes in my comments, tho, so the asterisk is apropos.

(* I defy anyone on this site to explain how magnets work - you're all hitting up wikipedia now for a pat explanation to crib from. A few of you will fall down the rabbit hole of trying to understand magnetic domains, and come up for air with a year's worth of beard on your cheeks, which will be a surprise if you're a woman.)
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:43 PM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


I've had a go at the odd windmill or two.
posted by ob1quixote at 6:44 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Hey, thanks! I do like talking about planes and I'm glad I can contribute my expertise here. I'm always happy to answer questions if I can, and if not I can probably point you in the right direction to an answer. And if you live around Boston and want to fly in a small plane I'd be happy to take you.
posted by backseatpilot at 6:46 PM on October 19, 2014 [6 favorites]


What's a melisma, I asked during my elementary school music lessons. It's a passage that goes on and on and on, I was told. Later I found out that the plural is melismata, and since I go on and on and on about many things, it seemed appropriate. (It's also close to my real name.)
posted by Melismata at 6:50 PM on October 19, 2014 [6 favorites]


Yet another instance where I'm doing it wrong.

No, arcticseal, your real story is better.
posted by Melismata at 6:54 PM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


I do not sweep and I know nothing about Punjabi bangles. I'll answer questions about Swahili, though, and frogs are vaguely like monkeys.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:10 PM on October 19, 2014


There is that shark guy, can't remember, something like "sharksareterrific".
posted by smoke at 7:16 PM on October 19, 2014


I am yet to get a pompom-related question I couldn't answer.
posted by pompomtom at 7:18 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


I can't actually participate in this thread without sinning against my user name. sigh.

Edit: Sharkdude
posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:33 PM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


I know all about 724A. Do not ask me about 724B or C.
posted by 724A at 7:36 PM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I'm kind of like Che Guevara but with buttons for eyes.
posted by Sockpuppet Liberation Front at 10:47 AM on October 19 [2 favorites +] [!]


In 2nd grade my older son was randomly assigned a famous person to research. He got Che Guevara and used an old sweat sock to make a puppet with black embroidery floss hair. I thought it was hysterical but he got a good grade on it. Si se puede!
posted by selfmedicating at 7:58 PM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


No one ever asks me about the good doctor, but I do know a fair amount about his writings, illustrations and history and also about anapestic, iambic, and trochaic tetrameter.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 7:58 PM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


I know a lot about the two other major Jessamyn Wests, the deceased author one and the holistic horse masseuse one. I know a little bit about many other jessamyns including the MMA fighter, the naked model and the amusingly-named (to me) Jessamyn North. I am an expert on myself.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:10 PM on October 19, 2014 [5 favorites]


I'm never unsavory.
posted by Umami Dearest at 8:18 PM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]



posted by not_on_display at 8:24 PM on October 19, 2014 [31 favorites]


Sometimes I post about vaguely seasonal things. Go Lutefisk!
posted by julen at 8:32 PM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


The spelling is wrong, but I do post a lot about books. I rarely have anything to contribute about wind instruments or water grasses.
posted by NoraReed at 8:33 PM on October 19, 2014


Send me your questions about indoor aroids. The ones I know, I really, really know, and the ones I don't know, I'll pretend I didn't hear.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 9:02 PM on October 19, 2014


I make a pretty darn delicious...well...you figure it out.
posted by pecanpies at 10:09 PM on October 19, 2014


I am my own official annalist?
posted by clavdivs at 10:22 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


let's try this again.

(clears throat)

But which candidate would you rather drop acid with?
posted by philip-random at 10:44 PM on October 19, 2014


I have a phone.
posted by jeffamaphone at 11:16 PM on October 19, 2014


This thread will be useful for future reference.

Please continue sharing about yourselves.

Thank you.
posted by NSA at 12:38 AM on October 20, 2014 [20 favorites]


'stavros' is of course a reference to the cross, 'wonder chicken' a reference to "Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani?", the only words attributed to the crucified Jesus that appear in more than one canonical gospel, and meant to suggest the interesting question of whether he might have lost faith and courage at the end, all of it a pointer to my lifelong unbeliever-fascination with christian mythology and other religious faiths.

Or maybe I'm just making that shit up, and it's all about the miraculous greek poultry.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:04 AM on October 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


i am a moose, i am a lovely shade of rose
posted by PinkMoose at 2:05 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I wouldn't call myself an expert, but I do know a fair bit about the gold rush town where my namesakes charged the miners a dollar a dance.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 2:35 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Ask me what is the capital of Malta. Go on, ask me. But don't expect me to spell it correctly.

I wish I'd looked up Wikipedia before I chose that name because apparently, " the beauty of its Baroque palaces, gardens and churches led the ruling houses of Europe to give the city its nickname Superbissima".

Which I can spell.
posted by valetta at 2:43 AM on October 20, 2014


My name speaks for itself. In Old Babylonian. I may be the oldest Mefite, by quite a margin.
posted by Atrahasis at 3:13 AM on October 20, 2014


This isn't a literal meaning, per se, but Tanizaki answers a lot of AskMes about Japanese.

I, on the other hand, know nothing about enslavement, or the lack thereof.
posted by chainsofreedom at 3:53 AM on October 20, 2014


I admit to doing research, and AskMe may have played a role in my dissertation. However, no monkeys were involved in my research.
posted by research monkey at 5:50 AM on October 20, 2014


I know a moderate amount about the early Greek Church figure / total asshole, St. John Chrysostom.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:11 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I got worms. That's about it.
posted by Atreides at 6:38 AM on October 20, 2014 [9 favorites]


I have read every Burroughs novel.
posted by Benway at 6:55 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


> I may be the oldest Mefite, by quite a margin.

Sorry, but no.
posted by benito.strauss at 7:31 AM on October 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Sadly no one wants to discuss saltating sand grains. But when the day comes, oh golly am I going to drop some knowledge.
posted by barchan at 8:37 AM on October 20, 2014


I am more Mary than you.
posted by maryr at 8:50 AM on October 20, 2014 [12 favorites]


My son's middle name really is Thor.
posted by Thorzdad at 9:15 AM on October 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


Mine is a watchword for the more positive aspirations of my area of expertise.
posted by audi alteram partem at 9:17 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I don't actually eat that many Hormel products.
posted by dinty_moore at 9:37 AM on October 20, 2014


I know:
1) Very little about Jamaican music
2) Not much about late-period third-wave ska albums
3) A surprisingly decent amount about mutant rhinoceroses.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:53 AM on October 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


audi alteram partem, I remember looking up your name when I first saw it, and have often seen you embody it since then. Hooray you!
posted by benito.strauss at 10:04 AM on October 20, 2014


I have advised people, and will continue to advise people, on hiking in the Pemigewassett Wilderness in New Hampshire's White Mountain National Forest, at the heart of which is a summit named Bondcliff.
posted by bondcliff at 10:25 AM on October 20, 2014


I like photography, and I am tall, but I generally try to avoid casting a shadow on shorter folks, except when it's appreciated.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:27 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm good at not being able to say the same thing quickly ten times without giggling.
posted by flabdablet at 11:00 AM on October 20, 2014


STAVS!
posted by clavdivs at 11:01 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I Ctrl-F'd and didn't find any mention of me...sometimes I'm pretty good at doubting your commitment.
posted by sparklemotion at 11:31 AM on October 20, 2014 [9 favorites]


I have (or have had): two biological children, 8 stepchildren, 5 stepgrandchildren, and 5 godchildren.
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 11:47 AM on October 20, 2014


Unfortunately, I am nether royalty nor can I sing.

My last name is a royal title and my first name is a variation of carols/songs
posted by royalsong at 11:55 AM on October 20, 2014


In these confusing times, what can we trust except zompism?
posted by zompist at 12:15 PM on October 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


I like to poke at things.
posted by pointystick at 12:28 PM on October 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I'm a barbecue-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all.
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 12:34 PM on October 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


Sweetie, you can always ask me about anything. You know that.
posted by Mom at 12:50 PM on October 20, 2014 [19 favorites]


What's for dinner?
posted by maryr at 1:02 PM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


When will daddy be back from the store? That was 4 months ago.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:04 PM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm not taking responsibility.
posted by disclaimer at 1:14 PM on October 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


My last name is a royal title and my first name is a variation of carols/songs

Carole King, is that you?
posted by jaguar at 1:51 PM on October 20, 2014 [8 favorites]


I'm an expert, but you don't really want to know how it's made.
posted by Kabanos at 1:56 PM on October 20, 2014


Left handed. Some say it's back to front...
posted by Namlit at 2:17 PM on October 20, 2014


(And yes. It's expertise)
posted by Namlit at 2:18 PM on October 20, 2014


I comment a lot about booze but people probably don't consider me an expert because I say things like, "Bud and Clamato is not actually that bad!"
posted by Drinky Die at 2:25 PM on October 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Would somebody give If only I had a penguin... a penguin already?
posted by languagehat at 2:31 PM on October 20, 2014


Yo
posted by the young rope-rider at 2:35 PM on October 20, 2014


languagehat: but then 'If I only had a penguin...'s name wouldn't make sense. Unfortunately they must forever remain penguinless if their name is to stay sensical.
posted by el io at 3:00 PM on October 20, 2014


I am.
posted by dios at 3:05 PM on October 20, 2014


Would somebody give If only I had a penguin... a penguin already?

I'd be more worried about this guy.
posted by homunculus at 3:13 PM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I know next to nothing about turtles. Maybe I should get a Brand New Day username... Fopdoodle comes to mind.
posted by terrapin at 3:15 PM on October 20, 2014


or maybe jackpudding.
posted by terrapin at 3:16 PM on October 20, 2014


I like photography, and I am tall, but I generally try to avoid casting a shadow on shorter folks, except when it's appreciated.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:27 AM on October 20 [+] [!]


Huh. I always thought you were a slim if dirty burglar.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 3:35 PM on October 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I'd be more worried about this guy.


This account is disabled.

That is quite the disability. :(
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 3:39 PM on October 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I'm hollowed out, have a glassy stare and a huge smile, plus I don't get out much.
posted by Countess Elena at 4:01 PM on October 20, 2014


I comment a lot about booze but people probably don't consider me an expert because I say things like, "Bud and Clamato is not actually that bad!"

Bloody Cesars (Bloody Marys with Clamato) are delicious. Also delicious: Bloody Marys with real clams, a Baja specialty.
posted by Room 641-A at 4:07 PM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Well, I mean, I've been doing lots of reading and revising for these kinds of exam questions but how can I be sure it's ever enough? Do you think Professor Cortex will only accept three rolls of parchment on the topic, because I've written four and I think I could go on for at least half a foot more...
posted by Hermione Granger at 4:15 PM on October 20, 2014 [5 favorites]


I know a lot about rabbits, but people don't seem to ask about them much.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 4:26 PM on October 20, 2014


What is your favorite kind of rabbi, rabbitrabbit?
posted by Hermione Granger at 4:31 PM on October 20, 2014


Wait...
posted by Hermione Granger at 4:46 PM on October 20, 2014


Let's just say that if your Thanksgiving meal is falling apart, I'm your man.
posted by Turkey Glue at 5:12 PM on October 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


Expertise? Nope.
posted by A dead Quaker at 5:24 PM on October 20, 2014


I am a basic bitch.
posted by Sara C. at 5:46 PM on October 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


I don't c that.
posted by maryr at 8:55 PM on October 20, 2014


Bloody Cesars (Bloody Marys with Clamato) are delicious.

If you want to take your Caesars to the next level, stir in half a tablespoon of creamed horseradish. I can only drink them when I get back to Canada every two or three years, and I look forward to them with great anticipation.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:38 PM on October 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I am an imaginary colour. The colour of an extinct Tasmanian mammal.
posted by thylacinthine at 12:17 AM on October 21, 2014 [1 favorite]


I dunno.
posted by vapidave at 2:13 AM on October 21, 2014 [1 favorite]


it was my former career. i still qualify on the geek part and on some of the science.
posted by sciencegeek at 5:51 AM on October 21, 2014


I'm your go-to guy for useless conversational filler.
posted by um at 6:00 AM on October 21, 2014 [8 favorites]


Like the Holy Roman Empire, no part of my name is accurate.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:18 AM on October 21, 2014 [2 favorites]


If somebody every posts about the history of the Farmer Labor Party in the US and/or Minnesota governors, I'll be able to jump in and drop mad knowledge.
posted by elmer benson at 9:49 AM on October 21, 2014


My name is actually a little misleading. While it's true that I emerged from hell to bring chaos and destruction to the world, I am not actually a hat.
posted by a hat out of hell at 10:14 AM on October 21, 2014 [3 favorites]


Evil otto is an expert in evil otters—their breeding, development and training. It's a typo that really should have been caught by the mods at registration time.
posted by jeffamaphone at 10:16 AM on October 21, 2014


I just liked the fact that showbiz rhymed with Liz. Sorry for being misleading.

And all this time I thought it was because you are grand.

I'm shrewish, but not so much.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 1:49 PM on October 21, 2014


"oppressively hot?" yeah that's right.
posted by sweltering at 2:06 PM on October 21, 2014


I answered a question about a synecdoche once.
posted by synecdoche at 7:11 PM on October 21, 2014 [1 favorite]


I used to live in Inuvik, NWT. I am a woman.
posted by arcticwoman at 9:46 PM on October 21, 2014


Whoops -- I meant half a teaspoon.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:03 AM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


Well, we did have the user whose name referenced his fondness for oral pleasuring ladies. Although now I can't find the username so perhaps I'm mis-remembering.

it was "Ladies, I sure do love cunnilingus", which was a phrase used by another user in a particular contentious thread. They picked it as a joke, but it wasn't a great one in context and out of context it didn't work at all, and they got it changed.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 12:07 AM on October 22, 2014 [2 favorites]


I would be more interested to hear a story about your username, vibratory manner of working.
posted by marienbad at 2:23 AM on October 22, 2014 [4 favorites]


I had a wordlist that included some phrases, and randomly pulled two lines. I did that a few times until I had something interesting sounding. "vibratory" + "manner of working". It's possible I'm misremembering and I was pulling three lines and got "vibratory" + "manner" + "working", and threw in the "of" to make it flow. Either way, the point was anonymity - tells you nothing about me and isn't linked to any other usernames I've had online. Not very interesting.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 9:33 AM on October 22, 2014


On the contrary, I think it's fascinating and tells quite a lot about you. :)
posted by mbrubeck at 10:08 AM on October 22, 2014


I am very, very good at feeling uneasy and uncomfortable. Also at directing armies into battle.
posted by General Malaise at 10:20 AM on October 22, 2014


I read one once.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 12:42 PM on October 22, 2014


That speaks volumes.
posted by maryr at 3:37 PM on October 22, 2014 [3 favorites]


I'm an actual government drone.
posted by govtdrone at 6:22 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


Despite my name, I'm not actually a Cuban nun. I know you're all stunned.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:15 PM on October 22, 2014 [1 favorite]


Are you a member of Urge Overkill?
posted by Chrysostom at 8:58 PM on October 22, 2014


I know a little bit about forestry and competitive woodchopping, but I don't speak Basque.
posted by Aizkolari at 3:57 PM on October 23, 2014


My interest areas show up as: relationships, dating, health, anxiety, family, depression, relationship, moving, friendship, sex


But if you people would properly tag your Asks, it would also list California cuz I do answer questions about that.
posted by Michele in California at 5:27 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]


If I knew much about me, I would not be Elusive.
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 8:11 PM on October 23, 2014 [1 favorite]


"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all." - God Entity, Futurama
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:43 PM on October 25, 2014


Some of my comments have known to be... alienating. Others have left me red-faced. In either case, I do tend to anthropomorphize things more than I should.
posted by the cydonian at 12:17 AM on October 26, 2014


I'm pretty good with dried fruit.

I mean nobody pays me for it, but even so. Pretty good.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:14 AM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'll point out the consequences of bad urban planning from time to time.
posted by one more dead town's last parade at 8:43 AM on October 27, 2014 [2 favorites]


You'll never guess my area of expertise.
posted by Treaty of Westphalia at 10:01 AM on October 27, 2014 [5 favorites]


The Peace of Münster?
posted by Chrysostom at 11:13 AM on October 27, 2014


I wear jade all the time and do have a few pearls.
posted by jadepearl at 8:39 PM on October 27, 2014


I'm actually not all that fond of math
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:37 PM on October 27, 2014


My posts usually begin as unimaginably profane tirades. I usually post later in threads because I've learned it's always better to read things over once or twice with a cooler head. The edit window was a godsend.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 1:32 AM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]


I give you the Urban Dictionary definition of my username:

official definition: a internet acronym, similar to "noob". HOWEVER, whilst a NOOB is someone who is lame/idiotic because he is new, a NUB is someone who has had the opportunity to learn something new, but never did, and is therefore idiotic/stupid.

And will just leave it there.
posted by nubs at 10:08 AM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]


I am neither Big, nor Calm.
posted by BigCalm at 11:28 AM on October 28, 2014


If you've never scratched a mule's ear, it would do no good to explain it. If you have, an explanation isn't necessary.

Dot 98 jay....I once saw a Fan Song from orbit.
posted by mule98J at 11:28 AM on October 28, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm neither red, nor green, but I *can* tell them apart...
posted by RedOrGreen at 9:17 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]


My non sock puppet account certainly matches what I do.
posted by Towelie at 3:04 AM on November 10, 2014


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