One last chance to be moderated by Matt: feel free to be extreme. March 6, 2015 1:57 PM   Subscribe

So, mathowie, you are still with us for one last night, as a so-called moderator. Interesting. Beguiling, even. Show us then: what are the uncouthnesses, insubordinations and downright fripperies up with which you will not put, while you are still in power?
posted by MiguelCardoso to Feature Requests at 1:57 PM (625 comments total) 92 users marked this as a favorite

Technically he's not on the clock for another hour and three minutes, so presumably he's in the middle of a training montage right now.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:58 PM on March 6, 2015 [86 favorites]


omg
posted by cgc373 at 2:01 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


omigs
posted by cgc373 at 2:01 PM on March 6, 2015 [24 favorites]


*goggles*
posted by octobersurprise at 2:02 PM on March 6, 2015


I've a list of "fuck you"s to give, and a list of users to give them to. Get ready Matt, save me from myself!
posted by Think_Long at 2:02 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]




Also I just edited this comment for content, not just for a typo! Content, Matt. Content!
posted by Think_Long at 2:04 PM on March 6, 2015 [48 favorites]


LET US POST IMAGES MATT WE SHOULD HAVE AN IMAGE JUBILEE

IMAGES FOR ONE NIGHT MATT

IMAGES IS HOW I FEEL ON THE INSIDE
posted by boo_radley at 2:06 PM on March 6, 2015 [91 favorites]


elephantpeeing.gif
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:07 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


jessamynschickenfuckingpictures.jpg
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


this isn't working
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


eeep
posted by rtha at 2:10 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Why is this the send off we would give him?
posted by stoneweaver at 2:10 PM on March 6, 2015 [13 favorites]


Am I just not a fun person?
posted by stoneweaver at 2:11 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


Flag it and move on, guys.
posted by Skorgu at 2:14 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


stoneweaver: "Why is this the send off we would give him?"

have you met us?
posted by boo_radley at 2:15 PM on March 6, 2015 [54 favorites]


I mean, we're like the Bad News Bears with no Buttermaker.
posted by boo_radley at 2:15 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


Why is this the send off we would give him?

I think it's meant to be a tongue-in-cheek sendoff, not actually a bunch of people saying shitcock.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:15 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


a tongue-in-cheek sendoff

Does anyone have a breathmint?
posted by ODiV at 2:17 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


No, but I have a lot of coffee brandy. Want that instead?
posted by maryr at 2:19 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Hey, have you guys seen these Get Your War On cartoons?
posted by bondcliff at 2:20 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


i do not think we should actually cause any massive problems for him to moderate but am amused by the idea of having an image party, esp since i have many, many selfies of my soul

<3
posted by NoraReed at 2:23 PM on March 6, 2015


Were they printed in The Onion, bondcliff?
posted by cgc373 at 2:23 PM on March 6, 2015


Why is this the send off we would give him?

We have Gamoras.gif
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:23 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


*ushers in a gaggle of camgirls*
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:25 PM on March 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


Oh man, one thread, image tag on, ALL NIGHT PARTY.
posted by maryr at 2:26 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Jennicam!
posted by zarq at 2:26 PM on March 6, 2015


...In my defense, I wrote that before I saw cortex's camgirl comment.
posted by maryr at 2:26 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Ceiling Cat is watching you moderate.
posted by Chrysostom at 2:27 PM on March 6, 2015 [45 favorites]


ALL NIGHT PARTY.

Like it's sometime in 1999?
posted by octobersurprise at 2:28 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's always 1999 somewhere.

*drinks a Surge*
posted by maryr at 2:30 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


As soon as Matt comes on duty, I'm going to post an FPP about Florence Henderson.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:31 PM on March 6, 2015 [80 favorites]


Liberté, Egalité, Wessonalité!
posted by benito.strauss at 2:33 PM on March 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO DO THAT FOR HOW MANY YEARS
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:33 PM on March 6, 2015 [20 favorites]




In the name of the most holy and individual Trinity: Be it known to all, and every one whom it may concern, or to whom in any manner it may belong, That for many Years past, Discords and Civil Divisions being stir'd up in the Roman Empire, which increas'd to such a degree, that not only all Germany, but also the neighbouring Kingdoms, and France particularly, have been involv'd in the Disorders of a long and cruel War...
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:34 PM on March 6, 2015 [13 favorites]


In before the image tag gets turned on!

Good luck out there Matt! It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!
posted by anotherpanacea at 2:40 PM on March 6, 2015


Alternate training montage.
posted by mazola at 2:45 PM on March 6, 2015


Also, holy shit, it's MiguelCardoso
posted by boo_radley at 2:46 PM on March 6, 2015 [34 favorites]


I am so joining this party!!!
posted by ramix at 2:49 PM on March 6, 2015


Suicide Girls ads for everybody!
posted by item at 2:49 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


I think it's meant to be a tongue-in-cheek sendoff, not actually a bunch of people saying shitcock.

I was gonna say shitcock.
posted by joedan at 2:52 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Who better to initiate this send off than the eloquent Senor Cardoso? Just about perfect.
posted by caddis at 2:52 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]




I'm going to use my sock puppet to agree with me inthread and Matt will have to work out who it is ahahaha!
posted by billiebee at 2:53 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


Request to reactivate images for just today....
posted by caddis at 2:53 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


that is a great idea that you had and I fully support you
posted by not billiebee at 2:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [32 favorites]


.===================================================================.
||     __   _    __   __  __   __          __   ..        __       ||
|| -=]|__  /_\  |__) |__ |__) /  \ |\  /| |__) |  | |__/ |__ |\ |  ||
|| -=]|   /   \ |  \ |   |  \ \__/ | \/ | |    \__/ |  \ |__ | \|  ||
||                            ___                                  ||
||                          .'   '.                                ||
||                         /       \           oOoOo               ||
||                        |         |       ,==|||||               ||
||                         \       /       _|| |||||               ||
||                          '.___.'    _.-'^|| |||||               ||
||                        __/_______.-'     '==HHHHH               ||
||                   _.-'` /                   """""               ||
||                .-'     /   oOoOo                                ||
||                `-._   / ,==|||||                                ||
||                    '-/._|| |||||                                ||
||                     /  ^|| |||||                                ||
||                    /    '==HHHHH                                ||
||                   /________"""""                                ||
||                   `\       `\                                   ||
||                     \        `\   /                             ||
||                      \         `\/                              ||
||                      /                                          ||
||                     /                                           ||
||               jgs  /_____                                       ||
||                                                                 ||
'==================================================================='

posted by mazola at 2:56 PM on March 6, 2015 [32 favorites]


MATHOWIE MODDED ME AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS CRAPPY STEAMPUNK MAKEOVER!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:57 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


jessamynschickenfuckingpictures.jpg

Some days you're the turkey on top, and some days you're, uh, not. This one's for you, Matt.
posted by MonkeyToes at 2:59 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


I agree with Billiebee! Inthread, no less!
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:59 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


This will not wendell.

but who says it SHOULD?
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:00 PM on March 6, 2015 [13 favorites]


Is it time?!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:00 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]




WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
MATT?
posted by trunk muffins at 3:01 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


I have to express my slight disappointment that this thread did not contain a "MataFilter" tag because if we're going to send Dear Leader out in a blaze of awful we should at least seal it with a terrible pun.
posted by Tevin at 3:02 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


ALRIGHT MATT, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:02 PM on March 6, 2015 [56 favorites]


This is wendell.
posted by maryr at 3:03 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Whee!
posted by ocherdraco at 3:03 PM on March 6, 2015


[A few comments deleted. Folks, the point is to overwhelm Mathowie with moderation duties on his last shift. If you have something thoughtful and innocuous to say, please start a new post.]
posted by uosuaq at 3:04 PM on March 6, 2015 [145 favorites]


I would love to see a real time stream of the server stats tonight.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:05 PM on March 6, 2015


Sr. Cardoso! Thank you for doing this, it's much appreciated and indeed perfect (and I'm genuinely as surprised as y'all are). Hope you're well, happy to see you here.

Matt, I hope the last day of your so-called moderator life is (otherwise) uneventful. And much enjoyment and happiness in the next.

Now, I'm not entirely sure, my memory of protocol is a bit rusty -- but I believe that gittin nekkid is correct and expected here, so I'm taking my clothes off just in case. This does not constitute advice, I'm just playing it safe here people. Hey, is that Ginja?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 3:06 PM on March 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


ha ha you had clothes on
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [14 favorites]


getting naked?

I started early I guess, oops.

you're welcome for that lovely visual; Brain Bleach is available down the street, $20 SAIT
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


(This thread is kind of like the way Tom Baker turned up in The Day of the Doctor. That's a compliment, Miguel, if there's any uncertainty.)
posted by Grangousier at 3:10 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


I thought the first rule of joining mefi was no posting while empantsed.
posted by madamjujujive at 3:11 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


Matt is just like everyone else: he takes his pants off one leg at a time.
posted by anotherpanacea at 3:11 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


It is done.

[*tick tick tick*]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:12 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


(Are we sure Matt is on duty yet? I flagged every post on this thread like 5 minutes ago, and so far, they're all still here.)
posted by uosuaq at 3:12 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


I was worried that this would be hundreds of users posting the entire texts of increasingly-obscure historical documents.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:12 PM on March 6, 2015


shit though i shouldve asked his autograph first now im nekkid and thats just a ridiculous way to ask someones autograph *hops toward horizon halfpantsed* ow i think thats glass doesnt hurt so much though oh well were still having fun no senhor cardoso senhor cardoso big fan
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 3:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Sr. Cardoso, this is Matt, reporting for final duty.
░░░░░F░E░E░L░░T░H░E░░░░
▀██▀─▄███▄▀██─██▀██▀▀█
─██─▐██─██▌██─██─██▄█─
─██─▐██─██▌▐█▄█▌─██▀█─
▄██▄█▀███▀──▀█▀─▄██▄▄█ 
posted by mathowie (retired) at 3:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [193 favorites]




So are we flagging things? I feel like I should be flagging things.
posted by deludingmyself at 3:13 PM on March 6, 2015


I thought the first rule of joining mefi was no posting while empantsed.

Some of us post from work, y'know.

...Of course, I'm the only one still here. And I hate these pants. Hm...
posted by maryr at 3:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


MATT IS THE BESTBEAST
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 3:14 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


So are we flagging things? I feel like I should be flagging things.

I wouldn't bother. You're only deludingyourself.
posted by maryr at 3:15 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


                  / \--..____
                   \ \       \-----,,,..
                    \ \       \         \--,,..
                     \ \       \         \  ,'
                      \ \       \         \ ``..
                       \ \       \         \-''
                        \ \       \__,,--'''
                         \ \       \.
                          \ \      ,/
                           \ \__..-
                            \ \
                             \ \
                              \ \   OK, WE HAD FUN, NO MORE FLAGGING
                               \ \
                                \ \
                                 \ \
                                  \ \
                                   \ \
                                    \ \
posted by mathowie (retired) at 3:15 PM on March 6, 2015 [81 favorites]


Yes, sir! Flagging, sir!

*slowly loses energy*

*flops around*
posted by tickingclock at 3:17 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


Let's go for most flags on a comment ^^
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 3:17 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


My final request is for people to find some really good ascii art and post it here, wrapped in PRE tags so we can all enjoy them.
posted by mathowie (retired) at 3:19 PM on March 6, 2015 [20 favorites]


Matt!
posted by pb (staff) at 3:20 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


Notes from the FAQ:
    don't get stressed about the exact reason for flagging
    not every flag will result in obvious action
    there is no need to flag 20 comments in a thread
    flagging old posts and comments usually doesn't result in any action
...unless of course some kind of coordinated flagging effort were to ensue across the back-archives of Metafilter. Cough.
posted by deludingmyself at 3:21 PM on March 6, 2015


FLAG ME. I said something awful, probably.
posted by zerolives at 3:21 PM on March 6, 2015


IT'S ASCII ART DAY PB, DON'T FIGHT IT ALSO YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR
posted by mathowie (retired) at 3:22 PM on March 6, 2015 [32 favorites]


HEY EVERYBODY FLAG YOU!!
posted by pyramid termite at 3:23 PM on March 6, 2015


PLAY HIM OFF, KEYBOARD CAT
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posted by avocet at 3:23 PM on March 6, 2015 [25 favorites]


  I WANT HEAD                                        
  RIGHT THIS                                         
FUCKING SECOND                                       
               \  .-.                                
                 /_ _\                               
                 |o^o|                               
                 \ _ /                               
                .-'-'-.              BLEEP BOOP BLOOP
              /`)  .  (`\            (THIS MEANS YES)
             / /|.-'-.|\ \         /                 
             \ \| (_) |/ /  .-""-.                   
              \_\'-.-'/_/  /[] _ _\                  
              /_/ \_/ \_\ _|_o_LII|_                 
                |'._.'|  / | ==== | \                
                |  |  |  |_| ==== |_|                
                 \_|_/    ||" ||  ||                 
                 |-|-|    ||LI  o ||                 
             jgs |_|_|    ||'----'||                 
                /_/ \_\  /__|    |__\                
posted by George Lucas at 3:23 PM on March 6, 2015 [51 favorites]


In before Treaty of Westphalia.
posted by Monsieur Caution at 3:24 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


Clear case of senioritis, Matt.
posted by blurker at 3:24 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


For clarification, amplification, and reiteration purposes, the map maryr linked to specifically shows the corner of Wendell Street and Oxford Street, appropriate since I support, use, and sometimes abuse the Oxford comma.*

-the Foop formerly known as Wendell
currently wearing my "FLAG IT and MOVE ON" shirt and no pants

* and the Cal Poly asterisk
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:24 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


____________$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
_________$$$$$$_________$$$$$$
______$$$$$_________________$$$$
_____$$$___$$$$$______________$$$$
___$$$$___$$$$$$$____________$$$$$$$
__$$$_____$$$$$$$__________$$$$___$$$
_$$$_______$$$$$_________$$$$______$$$
_$$$________$$$_________$$$________$$$
$$$_________$$$$______$$$$__________$$
$$$_________$$$$$___$$$$____________$$$
$$__________$$$_$$_$$$______$$$$$___$$$
$$__________$$$__$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$__$$$
$$$_________$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$__$$$
$$$_________$$$$$$$$_____$$_$$$$$___$$
_$$$_______$$$$__$$$_____$$________$$$
_$$$______$$$$$__$$$_____$$_______$$$$
__$$$___$$$$$J$__$$$_____$$______$$$$
___$$$$$$$__$K$__$$$____________$$$$
_____$$$$___$$$__$$$__________$$$$
_______$$$$_________________$$$$
_________$$$$$__________$$$$$$
_____________$$$$$$$$$$$$$
posted by item at 3:26 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


In honour of Matt's last day, I've decided to donate a significant portion of my life savings to charity.

Do you people know of any good sites that evaluate charities based on their cost effectiveness?

EDIT: Actually upon looking into it, I hear that this is a great one! You should all check it out!
posted by Lemurrhea at 3:26 PM on March 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


Fuck you all, but especially fuck you Think_Long for getting here first!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:26 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


I think we should all flag this, since it's an obvious self-link. Then the poster should be banhammered.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 3:26 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


The door, Matt?
posted by feelinglistless at 3:26 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don't know if I otter be doing this...
    .-"""-.
        /      o\
       |    o   0).-.
       |       .-;(_/     .-.
        \     /  /)).---._|  `\   ,
         '.  '  /((       `'-./ _/|
           \  .'  )        .-.;`  /
            '.             |  `\-'
              '._        -'    /
                 ``""--`------`
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:27 PM on March 6, 2015 [18 favorites]


                               /T /I
                              / |/ | .-~/
                          T\ Y  I  |/  /  _
         /T               | \I  |  I  Y.-~/
        I l   /I       T\ |  |  l  |  T  /
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.--~-._  ~-  `  _  ~-_.-"-." ._ /._ ." ./
 >--.  ~-.   ._  ~>-"    "\   7   7   ]
^.___~"--._    ~-{  .-~ .  `\ Y . /    |
 <__ ~"-.  ~       /_/   \   \I  Y   : |
   ^-.__           ~(_/   \   >._:   | l______
       ^--.,___.-~"  /_/   !  `-.~"--l_ /     ~"-.
              (_/ .  ~(   /'     "~"--,Y   -=b-. _)
               (_/ .  \  :           / l      c"~o \
                \ /    `.    .     .^   \_.-~"~--.  )
                 (_/ .   `  /     /       !       )/
                  / / _.   '.   .':      /        '
                  ~(_/ .   /    _  `  .-<_
                    /_/ . ' .-~" `.  / \  \          ,z=.
                    ~( /   '  :   | K   "-.~-.______//
                      "-,.    l   I/ \_    __{--->._(==.
                       //(     \  <    ~"~"     //
                      /' /\     \  \     ,v=.  ((
                    .^. / /\     "  }__ //===-  `
                   / / ' '  "-.,__ {---(==-
                 .^ '       :  T  ~"   ll       -Row
                / .  .  . : | :!        \
               (_/  /   | | j-"          ~^
                 ~-<_(_.^-~"
posted by rtha at 3:27 PM on March 6, 2015 [28 favorites]


Matt!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 3:29 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


Meow meow Henrietta Pussycat meow meow meow The Presidents of the United States of America meow Kitty?
posted by pyramid termite at 3:30 PM on March 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


So we'll be doing this every night around six thirty from now on, right?
posted by uosuaq at 3:31 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Miguel, I trust you will be supplying some of the famous Cardoso cocktails?
posted by madamjujujive at 3:32 PM on March 6, 2015


boo_radley: "Also, holy shit, it's MiguelCardoso"

Stan Chin is in the other thread!
posted by Chrysostom at 3:33 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


*hands out torches, pitchforks*
posted by languagehat at 3:33 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


Is he here yet? Is this the bottom of the grey yet? Will someone kindly yell at me for derailing this into random chatfilter?

*waves recipes in one hand and pancakes in the other*

*is that a giant doughnut?*
posted by infini at 3:34 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Here's hoping you always land on your feet, Matt!
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                                               .--.
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posted by krix at 3:34 PM on March 6, 2015 [81 favorites]


░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░
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Such Meta!
Much Missing...
Can haz favorites?
posted by Toekneesan at 3:35 PM on March 6, 2015 [35 favorites]


Monsieur Caution: "In before Treaty of Westphalia."

Wrong!
posted by Chrysostom at 3:35 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


I'm such a failure
posted by Monsieur Caution at 3:36 PM on March 6, 2015


Um

Er

GUTS!!! GUTS GUTS GUTS

...

fuck this was my big chance and I Ramona Quimbied it
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:37 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


MiguelCardoso, can we do a AMA thing here?

How's your family doing?
posted by mathowie (retired) at 3:39 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


MiguelCardoso: Have you released any books lately we should know about? Anything coming out soon?
posted by mathowie (retired) at 3:39 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Since it's Old-Timers' Day:
    _____________
   (             )
    `———————————'   
      /       \.-"""-._
     / a   ' .    '    `-.
    (       .  '      "   `.
     `-.-'       "       '  ;
         `.'  "  .  .-'    " ;
          : .     .'          ;
          `.   ' :     '   '  ;
            )  _.". "     .  ";
          .'_.'   .'   '  __.,`.
         '"      ""''---'`    "'
posted by Songdog at 3:39 PM on March 6, 2015 [57 favorites]


it'd be a shame if something happened to them
posted by pyramid termite at 3:39 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]



                                                         
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  **     ***     ****    * ***        **     *   ****    **     ***   * ***   
  **      **      **    *   ***       **    **    **     **      **  *   ***  
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**   ****         ****    **   ****     
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posted by jgirl at 3:40 PM on March 6, 2015 [30 favorites]


I got some OJ coupons and unidentified mushrooms over here, if anyone wants some.

But really, I'm just looking for a used car and don't understand any of this.
posted by nubs at 3:42 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


<marquee>wheeeee</marquee>
posted by Wolfdog at 3:42 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]



                                  _____
                               .-'     `-.
                              (           )
                        x      `-._____.-'    ! 
                       ' !                   < X
                       !  !                 :   >
                      '    :                >   '
                      !    'L              !     4
                     '      '>             :       !
                     !  !h   `            >    >  '>
                    '  !  X   ` :xx++~""~!   :~!   !
                    f '        4        '           !
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     `\.    `\.             \'~`M      `\'  /                  .:~`
          `"x.  `%.           "~         '                .:~~  .x="
   ~+:.        "+. `%.                                ..<>
         `"*<>
                 `""+x.`"x!x        :f            .+"`      .x+""`
       ....::::++++~~!!.:::++-      `h         ~` ....x-~"
    ...::>**~""```  .:x~")!        f  `        =:..  `"<>
             .x+"~   %x"         :  .. ':      +../  `"%+x.`"+..
     ..x-~"       .~"  %.       ~        \     .f  "~x.      `"~+:.
:*"`          .+"        `""""    B L U B .            `"=:.        `"*
           :"`                                              `"=x.
        "                    B O W  T O  M E O W .               `~+:.



posted by pyramid termite at 3:42 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


Also, Matt, we're going to need you to go ahead and come in this weekend. That'd be great.
posted by nubs at 3:42 PM on March 6, 2015 [35 favorites]


<blink>did it work</blink>
posted by gerryblog at 3:43 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


I have no idea how these people got their ASCII wedged into this MeTa, or why.
posted by uosuaq at 3:43 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


  !r`````!  '
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' ! !: !!          `MMXXMMXXMMMXXMMf
  :<4>
posted by Tevin at 3:44 PM on March 6, 2015


=^● ⋏ ●^=
posted by trunk muffins at 3:45 PM on March 6, 2015


I know I shouldn't have, but I got you this banjo. I think it'll make this world a better (albeit stranger) place, and give myself some closure.
             .----.
           [-|.  .|-]
           [-|.\/.|-]
             \||||/
              ||||
              ||||
              ||||
              ||||
              ||||
              ||||
             /||||
           [-|||||
             |||||
             |||||
             |||||
             |||||
           _.|||||._
        .-'  |||||  `-.
      .'     |||||     `.
    .'       |||||       `.
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  \  `.      |||||          /
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    `.  \   |     |      .'
      '.|   '.    |    .'
        '--._|____|_.-'
posted by deludingmyself at 3:45 PM on March 6, 2015 [59 favorites]


This is a fast moving thread with much moderation. Delete something, quick.
posted by infini at 3:47 PM on March 6, 2015


An illustration of the ultimate entrepreneur, as described by mathowie:
                    XXXXXXXXXX                        STRESS   STRESS
                  XXX        XXX                                     
                 XX            XXX            XSTRESS      STRESS    
                X                XX        XX XX    STRESS           
               XX      XXXX       X  STREX  X  XXSTRESS     STRESS   
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              X              XX   STRESS X      XX                   
              X            XXX         XX      XX                    
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                XX                X          X       XX              
                 XX              XX         XXX       X              
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              XXX               X                                    
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            XX               XX               XXXXXXX                
            X                                       XX               
            X                                        X               
            XXX X                                   XX               
              XXXXX                                 X                
        INNOVATIONXXX                              XX                
                      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX           X                 
INNOVATION  INNOVATION          X      X          X                  
                               XX      X         X                   
   INNOVATION                  X       X         X                   
          INNOVATION           X       X       X                     
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        INNOVATION            X       X     XX                       
                            XXX      XX    XX                        
     INNOVATION           XXX       XX     XX                        
                          XXXXXX    X       XXXXXXXXX                
        INNOVATION              XXX              XXXX                
                                  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX                   
posted by ignignokt at 3:48 PM on March 6, 2015 [81 favorites]



posted by cortex (staff) at 3:49 PM on March 6, 2015 [138 favorites]


^^ HAX
posted by trunk muffins at 3:50 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]



posted by mathowie (retired) at 3:50 PM on March 6, 2015 [131 favorites]




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posted by corb at 3:51 PM on March 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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posted by ocherdraco at 3:52 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


         ../MMMMMMM\
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posted by corb at 3:53 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Cortex, pancake bunny gif. I BEG YOU. this one.
posted by cmyk at 3:53 PM on March 6, 2015




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posted by pyramid termite at 3:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


                   ____
                 /  @   \==]|[=(]       M O D E R A T E ! !   M O D E R A T E !!!
                |--------|
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           -------------------------      
posted by mazola at 3:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [37 favorites]


This is going to eventually escalate to shitting elephants and a guy fucking a raw uncooked chicken, isn't it?
posted by mathowie (retired) at 3:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [17 favorites]


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posted by oneswellfoop at 3:55 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


Well yeah, it's a party.
posted by flatluigi at 3:55 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is going to eventually escalate to shitting elephants and a guy fucking a raw uncooked chicken, isn't it?
Eventually? I give it five more minutes.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:55 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]



posted by cortex (staff) at 3:56 PM on March 6, 2015 [156 favorites]


Is this where we start sharing recipes? Recipes in MeTa is perfectly okay, right?

Best Grilled Cheese Ever

Ingredients
1/4 pound pulled pork
mustard vinegar bbq sauce
two slices good bread
four slices cheese (suggestions: smoked cheddar, pepper jack)
one foil wrapped brick

Spread bbq sauce on the inner side of each slice of bread. Layer the inner side of a piece of bread with one slice of cheese. Top with pulled pork, place slice of cheese on pulled pork, then top with remaining slice of bread. Place in pan over a medium heat, and press the sandwich with the foil wrapped brick. When browned on the bottom, flip, and press again with the brick. Remove the brick, apply a slice of cheese to the outside of the sandwich, and flip, listening to the delightful sizzling sound of cheese frying in the pan. Place last slice of cheese on the uncheesed top of the sandwich, and wait one minute, then flip again. Fry the cheese until you have a nice thick crust on each side.

Remove from pan, cut diagonally (because cutting any other way would be sad), and enjoy, possibly with cream of mushroom soup.
posted by Ghidorah at 3:56 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


If I could post an image it might be one of these.
posted by Songdog at 3:56 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Aren't all uncooked chickens by nature raw?
posted by item at 3:56 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is going to eventually escalate to shitting elephants and a guy fucking a raw uncooked chicken, isn't it?

          .-"-.
         /  _  \
         | / \ |
        _|_|_|_|_
"--...-".     .  "---...--jro""
       .             .     .
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   "Yeah, well, I couldn't take
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    bully he could just go and
         cluck himself."


posted by pyramid termite at 3:57 PM on March 6, 2015


Oh man, IRFH actually made the Florence Henderson post!
posted by Chrysostom at 3:57 PM on March 6, 2015


Oh. My. God. Matt actually flagged it before he moved on.

I'm moved.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:57 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


YAAAAAAYYYY

thank you

Ooolong the Bunny is still my Mefi mascot

posted by cmyk at 3:57 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


IAAL, and I, for one, am going to start offering nightmarishly wrong legal advice for Matt to chase all over the green tonight
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 3:57 PM on March 6, 2015 [24 favorites]


This thread looks *great* on an iPhone! {|}
posted by mazola at 3:59 PM on March 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


So, will Metafilter be reborn tomorrow as an old-school ascii roguelike, or will that have to wait until Monday morning?
posted by Grangousier at 4:00 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


                .---. .---. 
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posted by billiebee at 4:02 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Is 2am too late to make a grilled cheese on the frying pan where one had earlier made some pork chops ?
posted by infini at 4:02 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


I flagged Matt's comment as "Breaks the guidelines". I haven't read all the way through, but I'm hoping for a response along the lines of "Breaks The Guidelines!?!? Punk, I WROTE the guidelines! I AM the guidelines!"
posted by benito.strauss at 4:04 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


Eventually? I give it five more minutes.

*cough*

(and looking up the chickenfucking picture, the link is borked now)
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:05 PM on March 6, 2015


Matt, you can sell this later and make a fortune.


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                            $$$"'        .?T$$$$$$$
                           .$'        ...      ?$$#\
                           !       -=S$$$$$s
                         .!       -=s$$'  `$=-_      :
                        ,        .$$$'     `$,       .|
                       ,       .$$$'          .        ,
                      ,     ..$$$'
                          .s$$$'                 `s     .
                   .   .s$$$$'                    $s. ..$s
                  .  .s$$$$'                      `$s=s$$$
                    .$$$$'                         ,    $$s
               `   " .$$'                               $$$
               ,   s$$'                              .  $$$s
            ` .s..s$'                                .s ,$$
             .s$$$'                                   "s$$$,
          -   $$$'                                     .$$$$.
        ."  .s$$s                                     .$',',$.
        $s.s$$$$S..............   ................    $$....s$s......
         `""'           `     ```"""""""""""""""         `""   ``

posted by GuyZero at 4:05 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]




                ___,,___
           _,-='=- =-  -`"--.__,,.._                            "i don't give a shit"
        ,-;// /  - -       -   -= - "=.
      ,'///    -     -   -   =  - ==-=\`.
     |/// /  =    `. - =   == - =.=_,,._ `=/|
    ///    -   -    \  - - = ,ndDMHHMM/\b  \\
  ,' - / /        / /\ =  - /MM(,,._`YQMML  `|
 <> \
 hjm          `""'  `->>>    ``WHMb,.    `-_<>>>

posted by pyramid termite at 4:05 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


treaty_of_westphalia.txt
posted by juv3nal at 4:05 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


I feel like this is one of those high school parties that only happen in movies and not when you're actually in high school, except here we all are in high school and it's happening
posted by penduluum at 4:06 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]



posted by cortex (staff) at 4:06 PM on March 6, 2015 [84 favorites]


Welp, it's time for that FPP about libertarian gun-toting feminists who re-enact the Civil War in order to raise money for Israel and declaw their cats in their spare time to save the babies because they are pro-life.
posted by corb at 4:07 PM on March 6, 2015 [30 favorites]


It's the end of MeFi as we know it
And I feel fine....
posted by cmyk at 4:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Cortex you need to put him in a LARP trek strip, preferably departing for the Twilight Zone. A job. OMG
posted by infini at 4:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


I feel like this is one of those high school parties

Mod-themed "Breakfast Club," cortex, please?
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:08 PM on March 6, 2015


Oh god oh god oh god, I have no ascii art! I am not prepared! I DIDN'T KNOW TO PREPARE FOR THIS!

Someone! Post an ascii llama for me!
posted by meese at 4:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


*nips out to make a quick grilled cheese*
posted by infini at 4:09 PM on March 6, 2015


Teacher says, "Every time a bell rings, Uncle Billy fucks a raw chicken!"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:09 PM on March 6, 2015 [15 favorites]




aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
8                                                   8
8  a---------------a                                8
8  |    MeFi       |                                8
8  |    Backup     |                                8
8  |    .TXT       |                               8"
8  "---------------"                               8a
8                                                   8
8                                                   8
8                      ,aaaaa,                      8
8                    ad":::::"ba                    8
8                  ,d::;gPPRg;::b,                  8
8                  d::dP'   `Yb::b                  8
8                  8::8)     (8::8                  8
8                  Y;:Yb     dP:;P  O               8
8                  `Y;:"8ggg8":;P'                  8
8                    "Yaa:::aaP"                    8
8                       """""                       8
8                                                   8
8                       ,d"b,                       8
8                       d:::8                       8
8                       8:::8                       8
8                       8:::8                       8
8                       8:::8                       8
8                       8:::8                       8
8                  aaa  `bad'  aaa                  8
"""""""""""""""""""' `"""""""""' `"""""""""""""""""""
posted by GuyZero at 4:09 PM on March 6, 2015 [37 favorites]


kibosig.txt

Todd Lokken
posted by ursus_comiter at 4:11 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


GuyZero: NICE
posted by mathowie (retired) at 4:11 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


OK, Matt.

When are you going to announce your candidacy for governor of Oregon?
posted by ursus_comiter at 4:11 PM on March 6, 2015


Thirteen flags is the limit?! Just in the dialog, I hope; the actual total must be recorded somewhere, right?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:12 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Could someone just tell me, here and now, how the hell to circumcise and declaw my indoor cat in one fell swoop? (Or maybe an ACSII illustrated guide would do it?)
posted by penguin pie at 4:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


                  |\
        ---*--   |  \                             
    -"""      \__|   \
   /   : Qld  :  TAS  \
  /    :........       \
 ' SA  : AA    :.......*|   x = Schenectady NY USA
 \     :     * :NSW    /
  \*   :/""""""\`..x */
   ----'     VIC\ *`./
                 \""/
                 \""/
posted by Justinian at 4:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


Not even another Boston snowstorm could keep me out of this thread!
                         ___
                       .'   \
                       | .--.|
                       |(`--'|
                       /\`'`'|_
                      /  `::'  `.
                     /           \
                     |   | MATT|  \       _
                     \   \_    |  .\__.--' \
                .----|\    `---<>
                |`+'_| `.___|._./\|  |       \
                `.|' |'     \    `|   |       \
                _/   `.(    ))---/`-.__|_.--'--`.
               ((_    /\   .' `-/._ `.  `-._     `-._
               /\\`-./\ >-'    /   `-.`-.   `-. _.---\
            ` '__`_-(  (-._  .J_      `-.`-.   | (##) >.
            `    // \\  )_ `-.F `-.__    `-.`. |__.--'  \
              `  `\_//`'._`-.J       `--.__ `-`.      _.-)
            '        `--.__`-|    Me       `-.__>----'.-'
                           `--`--.__Fi      _.-')__.-'``.    .-.
                                    `--._.-'-'""        ``._//_))
                                 ` ` --'--\\   ._    ` ` _____.'
                                '    `-.`- \\ //)\  '
                                  '     `-._ .' .'    '
                                            `--'
posted by GuyZero at 4:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


How we are hoping Matt will perceive this thread.
posted by nubs at 4:13 PM on March 6, 2015


a guy fucking a raw uncooked chicken

Raw, yet also uncooked. Matt leaves us with much to ponder. Go forth and spread that zen!
posted by robself at 4:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: IMAGES IS HOW I FEEL ON THE INSIDE
posted by Going To Maine at 4:14 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


NOT MY CIRCUS

NOT MY MONKEYS

posted by cortex (staff) at 4:14 PM on March 6, 2015 [69 favorites]


MATT IS THE BESTBEETS
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:14 PM on March 6, 2015


I'm not experienced enough to annoy matt, so I'm going to take notes for when cortex leaves if he turns out to be mortal.
posted by halifix at 4:14 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


This depicts the starchy tuber with the nickname we must not speak.
                                        
                     ?II7               
            I?III 7+?III?II             
        7???IIIII?++IIIII?I?            
       7+?IIIIII?+=~+++?+++=+           
        +++??++===..?III?::=??7         
    ?+?=~::~~~::,+?+??I??I????+???7     
   ??????+:..:=+???~?IIIIIII?+?+??+=    
  7+++?++=~,=+????+=+???????+????+?+?   
 777?+?+=??????+~~~:+?++++??+?III????7  
  777+??+?IIII??=??+=:====~:=?????+?77  
   77+++??+????++?+IIII??+:=+??????I7   
    77?+?++???+~+??IIIIII++==??++I77    
      777II?????????????=+???I7777      
               777I??+???I777           
                    77777                         
posted by jgirl at 4:16 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


.
posted by edgeways at 4:18 PM on March 6, 2015


These fungal foods go well with those tubers.
                              . ................. .... .               ~.   .+ .
                            .  .:~+++?I??????+??+++?++=,           .  + . ~I  ..
                 ..........~+??????II??????II???+????????++~.  .. . . :  . I   ~
                  .:+III?III?7IIII????I7IIII7IIII7III?IIIII?I?+~..... + .  I  ,.
           ......7?Z7I?I?IIIIII?I???II????????I?IIII??IIIIIIII?+7I~, ..=... ... 
          ....:?+IIIIIIIII?I????????IIIIIII??II?II??III?I77I?I?I?+$$?:. .,~~  ..
        .....?==+++=????III?I+??I7III?????II?II?I??7II==II7$$$ZI?I?$$$+:.. . .  
        ...~==?+II?II?II77II+$77IIIIII77IIIII7II7IIIII=~~,IZ?$I~?I??$Z$$~,.  .  
       ...+=+I7III7?I?II7I$I777IIII?777III7III777$7III?I=I::$I?I7???$$$$$+,. .  
   . .,.+I+=:7?III?I7I+:I?+7777II7I7II77III7I7I+I$$++??+?II7~7$+7~+I?ZZ$$$7=... 
   ..==:+=+==???~7?$?++7?I?77IIII?=I+I7I$$+++I??II$7I??+???7I+Z++7$+?7Z$$$$$=,..
...=?+=+++===??I?+7+++?I++7III=?=+?~+=~+?I~=I+=II=?Z7Z$I++?I?I+?7=7III$Z$$$$I~,.
..~==+==?~+??I?IIII?+:~7+=+=?+=+=~=77?=~+~:=++7I:I7?$$OZ?~II$+7I7=++??ZZZ$ZZZI~.
..::==+~++=?+??II??+~+~I+=+~~~:??==7=,,,~=+=~=++~=+I?77ZIII$?7IIII=II7ZZZZZZZ$=,
.+====+====+?+?+7=I=I:=~~=::~:~7?~...?~~++,:==+=~I~?7?I?7$+$7Z?7777?+ZZZZZZZZ$+:
==+:==+~===~+I=I==~=,:==~=,=.~.7,.:=~:=~?=++?=I===??III?7ZI77O++77I?ZZZZZZZ$$$+,
===+I=7++=+?77+..?,..~::=,==~.,.,=.:~:++~~$7=+=?=~+7?$?7I7$IIII??=7ZZZZZZZZ$Z?~.
,+?+?++?I=++:.:.....::=?:==:::?=:+?::+III?+????I777I77?$77ZZ$I++ZZZZZZZZZZZ$7=,.
.~?~II++=+=~,.+I,,..~==~?+I+,:I~=I=~I+I7++?II+I+7$+7$I?II??IZZZZZZZZZZZZZ$7?:,..
...==~~~==??+=,~~=:~.=+==++=I=+I?$+???+I?+====~ZZOZZOZZZOZZZZZZZZZ$Z$$$7+~:,.   
.  .====?=+=?+=~=~:=~~~++=+?=?+II77??I=$OO8DDDD8Z8OZZZZZZZZZZZ$$II?++=~:,.. .   
.  .......~+=~~?:??~~=++++~?+?~I888OOOOOZZ88ZZZ$OZZZZZZZZ$7I+=~::,,.....        
          ...:==:=~+~+=++~+77ODOOOZ78Z8OI7+===?OZZZZZZZZI=~::,,....             
          ......,,::~...,,:~:::=:::~,~~I=?++?OZZOZZZZ7=:......                  
                        ..,:::::~::~=+==??I+ZZZZZZZZ=,..                        
                         ...,~=~~~~=?==?=++7ZZZZZ$?:...                         
                        ....~=~,,:~+=?+?+IIZZZZZI:...  .                        
                        .. .,=:~=====++=+=ZZZZZ+.  .                            
                        ....::::~=++++==?=?ZZ$,..                               
                        ...::::~~===+?+?++?IZI..                                
                        ..:,,::::~~=+?==++I$ZZ,..                               
                        .,~,,::::~~~=$?==+=ZZO+..                               
                        ..+~:,::+I+7Z7~I?$ZOOO,..                               
                        ...+~:~~:I=I$$~??7O$ZZ,..                               
                        .....77=$Z$Z???I$ZOO+..                                 
                        .......$I$$?I?7OO7~.....                                
                            .  .. .......                                       
                             . ...........                                      
                                                                                
                                                                                
posted by cmyk at 4:18 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


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posted by Too-Ticky at 4:18 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]




           /|                                        |\
         /  |                                        |  \
       /   <              ,,''''|'''',,               >  \
      |     \         ,,''      |      ``,,         /     |
      |       \    ,''         | |         `,     /       |
       \        \,'            | |           `',/        /

         \     ,'              | |              ',     /

           \_,'                | |                ',_/

            ;____             |   |             ____;

            |____~~~---_______|   |_______---~~~____;
            //   ~~~---_______|~-~|_______---~~~   ;\\
          ///;    ,,=====,,,  ~~-~~  ,,,=====,,    ;|\|\
         |/|/   '"          `'     '"          "'   ;|\|
         ||/`;   _--~~~~--__         __--~~~~--_   ;/|\|         "sit on my face???? - um, no"
         /|||;  :  /       \~~-___-~~/       \  :  ;|\|\
         /\|;    -_\  (o)  / ,'; ;', \  (o)  /_-    ;||\
         |\|;      ~-____--~'  ; ;  '~--____-~      ;\||
         /||;            ,`   ;   ;   ',            ;||\
        |/|\ ;        ,'`    (  _  )    `',        ;/|\||
        /|//|/;    ,'`        ~~ ~~        `',    ;|\\|\|\
       |/||\/||;  '                           '  ;\|/||\|\|
       ///|||/||;         _--~~---~~--_         ;|\||/|\\|\
      |\||/\/|/||;      ,~-------------~,      ;\\|\||/|\\||
     //||\|/|/||/;       ~~~~--------~~~       ;||\\|\|||\/|\
    ||/|/|||/||/;;`;,           -            ;';;\|\\|\\|/|\||
   /|\|/||//|,,`    `;       -- _ --       ;'    `,,|\|\\|\||\\
  ||/||//,,'`         `~--__         __--~`         `',,|\||\\||
 /|||,,'`                   ~~-----~~                   `',,|\|\|
|,,'`spb                                                    `',,|
' 
posted by pyramid termite at 4:19 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


............................................________...............................
....................................,.-‘”...................``~.,....................
.............................,.-”...................................“-.,...............
.........................,/...............................................”:,...........
.....................,?......................................................\,........
.................../...........................................................,}......
................./......................................................,:`^`..}....
.............../...................................................,:”........./.......
..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../........
............./__.(.....“~-,_..............................,:`........../..........
.........../(_....”~,_........“~,_....................,:`........_/............
..........{.._$;_......”=,_.......“-,_.......,.-~-,},.~”;/....}..........
...........((.....*~_.......”=-._......“;,,./`..../”............../............
...,,,___.\`~,......“~.,....................`.....}............../.............
............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-”................
............/.`~,......`-...............................\....../\...................
.............\`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....\,__.............
,,_..........}.>-._\...................................|..............`=~-,....
.....`=~-,_\_......`\,.................................\........................
...................`=~-,,.\,...............................\.......................
................................`:,,...........................`\..............__..
.....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``.......
........................................_\..........._,-%.......`\...............
...................................,<`.._|_,-&``................`\..............
posted by corb at 4:19 PM on March 6, 2015 [15 favorites]


                _..--''``\--....__    _..,_
      ____ _.-'`   .-/";  `       ```≤._  ``-+'~=. ____
     /  .-' _..--.'_    \                    `(^) )   /
    /  ((.-'    (≤ _     ;.__                 ; `~   /
   /             `-._,_)'``  ```--..._____..-'      /
  / Purrrr...                                  /
  `````````````````````````````````````````````````
This is how they got those cats in their scanners.

At last you know!
posted by ursus_comiter at 4:23 PM on March 6, 2015 [24 favorites]


I'm not experienced enough to annoy matt

I am, apparently. Now I feel bad about causing him extra stress. Sorry, #1.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:24 PM on March 6, 2015




                                _._
                              _/:|:
                             /||||||.
                             ||||||||.
                            /|||||||||:
                           /|||||||||||
                          .|||||||||||||
                          | ||||||||||||:
                        _/| |||||||||||||:_=---.._
                        | | |||||:'''':||  '~-._  '-.
                      _/| | ||'         '-._   _:    ;
                      | | | '               '~~     _;
                      | '                _.=._    _-~
                   _.~                  {     '-_'
           _.--=.-~       _.._          {_       }
       _.-~   @-,        {    '-._     _. '~==+  |
      ('          }       \_      \_.=~       |  |
      `,,,,,,,'  /_         ~-_    )         <>
        `-----~~/ /'===...===' +   /
               <>         /  //
                             /  //
                            <>      "Smooth sailing ahead!"
posted by brundlefly at 4:25 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


Who awakened the Portuguese Sex-Beast?
posted by ColdChef at 4:25 PM on March 6, 2015 [10 favorites]


Uncooked? You're sick.
posted by Jimbob at 4:26 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Who awakened the Portuguese Sex-Beast?

i bet it was a lisboner
posted by pyramid termite at 4:27 PM on March 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


This is how they got those cats in their scanners.

At last you know!


If only you'd revealed this 16 years earlier! We could have saved so much time.
posted by Going To Maine at 4:27 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


lol butts
                   ,,,               ,,,,
                ..ooo*"""**ooooo .oo*""*ooo..
             .  oo*"           "*o.oo*"           "*o.
            . o"                   'o"                  "o
             o                      o                     *o
           .o                       o                        'o
           o                        o                          o.
          o                          o                          o
         o                          \o/                         o
         o                         --0--                         o
         o.                         /o\                         .o
         "o                          o                           o
          oo                         o                          oo
          oo.                       oo                        oo
           'ooo.                  .oo.                     ooo
            "o ""oo,,        ,,oO-'Oo,       ,,,,,,..oo"o
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             *o                    oo                    o
              'o                    o                    o
              o                     o                   o
               o                    o                  o
               o                    o                 o
               o                    o                 o
                o                    o                 o
                o                    o                 o
posted by merelyglib at 4:27 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


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IIII?????????+++++++===~~+==+~~=~?I=:~~=+?7$$$ZOO88OOZ$$$III?7$$7I?$I$I?III?=~~=
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????????:~:==~++++~~=???II=~~+???~~?I?I+~~~~==+==~~I$8OII?77ZZ7IIIIII7$$77?III77
???????~::~???+===~??????I~::=+???++I???8OOOOOOOO8888I??I?7$ZII??II77ID$II???I7I
?????=::=~~????=~~+???????:~~~$ZIZ$OI????ID8O888888??I??I?77III?I777IIN$I?IIII7I
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posted by Monsieur Caution at 4:28 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


I do not WANT to be exposed to butts.
posted by Too-Ticky at 4:28 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


             /^\
           /         (/^\)     /
      \   ( \         \ /     ( \     /^\
     / )   \ |        _|_      \ |   |/^\|
    | /    _|_        | |      _|_    \ /
    _|_    | |        | |      | |    _|_
    | |    | |        | |      | |    | |
    | |    | |    ****| |******| |    | |
    | |****| |****    | |      | |****| |
   *| |    | |                 | |    | |*****
 *  | |                               | |      *
*                   W O O T! ! !                *
| *                                           * |
|  *****                                 *****  |
|@      **********             **********      @|
| @   @           *************           @   @ |
|  @@@ @    @                       @    @ @@@  |
|       @@@@ @      @       @      @ @@@@       |
 *            @@@@@@ @     @ @@@@@@            *
  *                   @@@@@                   *
   *****                                 *****
        **********             **********
                  *************
posted by bluefly at 4:28 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


------------------------------------------------------ 16:24:41
rdaeley@mithrandir:~
$ banner -w 40 Bye Matt!
          #                         #
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          #              #          #
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           #############   ######## 
             ##########      #### 
               #####
  #                      #
 ###                   ###
 ###               #######
   ###          ##########
       ##############
          ########
              ### 
                  ####   #
                      ####
                         #
               ##### 
            ########### 
           ##############
          ##     #     ## 
          #      #       #
          #      #       #
          #      #      ##
           #     ########
            ##   ###### 
                 ### 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
          #                         #
          #                         #
          ###########################
          #                   #######
                        #############
                   ###############
              ###############
           ###########
                ######
                      ##### 
          #                  ##### 
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          ###########################
          #                         #
                                     
             ###
           #######    ##
          #########  #### 
          ##     ##   # ##
          #      ##      #
          ##     #      ##
          ############### 
          ##############
          # 
          
                         #
             #################
          ####################
          ####################
          ##             #
          ##
            #
                         #
             #################
          ####################
          ####################
          ##             #
          ##
            #
           ##               ######
          ####   ####################
          ####      ################
posted by Celsius1414 at 4:28 PM on March 6, 2015 [14 favorites]


    ___       ___       ___       ___       ___       ___            ___       ___       ___       ___   
   /\  \     /\__\     /\  \     /\__\     /\__\     /\  \          /\__\     /\  \     /\  \     /\  \  
   \:\  \   /:/__/_   /::\  \   /:| _|_   /:/ _/_   /::\  \        /::L_L_   /::\  \    \:\  \    \:\  \ 
   /::\__\ /::\/\__\ /::\:\__\ /::|/\__\ /::-"\__\ /\:\:\__\      /:/L:\__\ /::\:\__\   /::\__\   /::\__\
  /:/\/__/ \/\::/  / \/\::/  / \/|::/  / \;:;-",-" \:\:\/__/      \/_/:/  / \/\::/  /  /:/\/__/  /:/\/__/
  \/__/      /:/  /    /:/  /    |:/  /   |:|  |    \::/  /         /:/  /    /:/  /   \/__/     \/__/   
             \/__/     \/__/     \/__/     \|__|     \/__/          \/__/     \/__/                      
posted by phunniemee at 4:29 PM on March 6, 2015 [15 favorites]


Upside down ox head:

A

... that's all I got.
posted by kyrademon at 4:29 PM on March 6, 2015 [16 favorites]


We're so weird, its sick.
posted by infini at 4:30 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


 ?ZZ$  =ZZZ        ?Z         ?????     ??  ?=                                  
 ZZZZ  Z$Z  ,ZZZZ ZZZZ .ZZZZ ??     ?~  ?. ???  ????  ????                      
 Z ZZ Z ZZ +Z  ZZ  Z      ZZ ????  ??  ??  ??  ?+  ?. ??                        
ZZ ZZZ= Z  ZZ$$$$ ZZ   ZZ ZZ??     ??  ?? ,?  ??????  ?,                        
Z$ ZZZ ZZ  ZZ ZZ  ZZ ZZ  ZZ ??    :?  +?  ??  ??  ?? ??                         
:  ::  ::   $$    =$  $$ :: ,,    ,,  ,,   ??  :?:   ,,
posted by jgirl at 4:32 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


I MADE YOU A ASCII

BUT I EATED IT
posted by uosuaq at 4:32 PM on March 6, 2015 [10 favorites]


It was so tasty.
posted by infini at 4:34 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Holy shit, I made SO MANY dot-matrix banners in PrintShop on my c64. I think my parents returned home to find them on the garage door constantly in about 1983.
posted by mathowie (retired) at 4:34 PM on March 6, 2015 [23 favorites]


                 o                                .oOOOo.  
                O                                .O     o. 
                o                                O       o 
                o                                o       O 
            .oOoO  `OoOo. .oOoO' 'o     O 'OoOo. O       o 
            o   O   o     O   o   O  o  o  o   O o       O 
         Oo O   o   O     o   O   o  O  O  O   o `o     O' 
         oO `OoO'o  o     `OoO'o  `Oo'oO'  o   O  `OoooO'  
          O                                                
         o'                                                
                  o                             Oo      oO 
                 O                              O O    o o 
                 o             O     O          o  o  O  O 
                 o            oOo   oOo         O   Oo   O 
       .oOo. .oOoO             o     o   .oOoO' O        o 
       O   o o   O             O     O   O   o  o        O 
       o   O O   o        Oo   o     o   o   O  o        O 
       `OoO' `OoO'o       oO   `oO   `oO `OoO'o O        o 
                           O                               
                          o'                               
             o                  o                          
             O                 O                           
             o                 o          O                
             o                 O         oOo               
             O  o  .oOo. .oOo. o          o   .oOo. 'OoOo. 
             OoO   O   o O   o O          O   O   o  o   O 
             o  O  o   O o   O o          o   o   O  O   o 
             O   o `OoO' `OoO' Oo         `oO `OoO'  o   O 
                                                           
                                                           
                               oO o                   o    
                               OO O                  O     
                               oO o                  O     
                               Oo o                  o     
                               oO O  o  .oOo  .oOoO' OoOo. 
                                  OoO   O     O   o  O   o 
                               Oo o  O  o     o   O  o   O 
                               oO O   o `OoO' `OoO'o `OoO' 
                                                           
                                                           
posted by jgirl at 4:34 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


To me, the most appropriate "old movie" reference should be the end of Casablanca, with Cortex saying to Mathowie "If you don't get on that plane Slack, you'll regret it", then as he flies off Cortex says to LobsterMitten "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:35 PM on March 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


Let us pre
posted by jgirl at 4:35 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]



€ MIGS!



Cruise director Julie of the grey.
posted by clavdivs at 4:37 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


So... we're partying like it's 1983? Well, that works for me.

Edited because I could
and again!
posted by Too-Ticky at 4:37 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]



 ANNOUNCEMENT - DUE TO MATT'S DEPARTURE, WE HAVE HIRED 4 MODS TO REPLACE HIM

            ___             |\             .---.             _
           ( o )            |'_\           \ V /            | |
           _| |_           _| |_           _| |_           _| |_
         .`_____`.       .`_____`.       .`_____`.       .`_____`.
       |\ /     \ /|   |\ /     \ /|   |\ /     \ /|   |\ /     \ /|
       |||  @ @  |||   |||  9 9  |||   |||  6 6  |||   |||  o o  |||
       \_\   =   /_/   \_\   -   /_/   \_\   o   /_/   \_\  ._.  /_/
        .-'-----'-.     .-'-----'-.     .-'-----'-.     .-'-----'-.
       (_   ___   _)   (_   ___   _)   (_   ___   _)   (_   ___   _)
         | |___| |       | |___| |       | |___| |       | |___| |
         |       |       |       |       |       |       |       |
         (___|___)       (___|___)       (___|___)       (___|___)
         jgs/m¢

posted by pyramid termite at 4:37 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


Holy shit, I made SO MANY dot-matrix banners in PrintShop on my c64. I think my parents returned home to find them on the garage door constantly in about 1983.

Same here, except on an Apple ][+

Suddenly remembering creating a music video for "Beat It" using Hi-Res Graphics. :D
posted by Celsius1414 at 4:38 PM on March 6, 2015


Beanplate

    000000000000
\________________/
posted by jgirl at 4:39 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]



                        
                        

                        
                        


                  
               
           
                 
                 
                 








posted by Gary at 4:41 PM on March 6, 2015 [58 favorites]


Who awakened the Portuguese Sex-Beast?

"What rough sex-beast slouches
toward metafilter
waiting to see Matt mod ..."
posted by octobersurprise at 4:42 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]



                                              _
                                   .-.  .--''` )
                                _ |  |/`   .-'`
                               ( `\      /`
                               _)   _.  -'._
                             /`  .'     .-.-;
                             `).'      /  \  \
                            (`,        \_o/_o/__
                             /           .-''`  ``'-.
                             {         /` ,___.--''`
                             {   ;     '-. \ \
           _   _             {   |'-....-`'.\_\         ohh, big boy - come on, satisfy me - i'm so raw
          / './ '.           \   \          `"`
       _  \   \  |            \   \
      ( '-.J     \_..----.._ __)   `\--..__
     .-`                    `        `\    ''--...--.
    (_,.--""`/`         .-             `\       .__ _)
            |          (                 }    .__ _)
            \_,         '.               }_  - _.'
               \_,         '.            } `'--'
                  '._.     ,_)          /
                     |    /           .'
                      \   |    _   .-'
                       \__/;--.||-'
                        _||   _||__   __
                 _ __.-` "`)(` `"  ```._)
           jgs  (_`,-   ,-'  `''-.   '-._)
               (  (    /          '.__.'
                `"`'--'
posted by pyramid termite at 4:43 PM on March 6, 2015 [10 favorites]


posted by Gary

what is this sorcery
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:45 PM on March 6, 2015 [15 favorites]



posted by cortex (staff) at 4:47 PM on March 6, 2015 [33 favorites]


This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the beans
that were in
the ascii

and which
you were probably
posting
for the lols

Forgive me
they were more delicious
than raw chicken
the Treaty of Westphalia
and taters
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:48 PM on March 6, 2015 [35 favorites]


Here is a Bermuda bus pole.
                                      ,?:                                       
                                      ,?:                                       
                                      ,+:                                       
                                      ,?:                                       
                                      ,+:                                       
                                      ,+:                                       
                                      ,+:                                       
                                      ,+~                                       
                              ------------------                                            
                                          
I'm not enough of a pedant to know which color it is, pink or blue. Who cares if you are in Bermuda; the buses all go somewhere nice. Mostly.

Matt, was that fighty and call-outy enough to be inappropriate? ::::hopeful look::::
posted by jgirl at 4:48 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


(Eiwohtt?) A man, a plan, a catscan, a cstac anal pan -- a matthowie!
posted by argonauta at 4:48 PM on March 6, 2015 [19 favorites]


Like Gary Coopers Craneshot.
posted by clavdivs at 4:50 PM on March 6, 2015


I can't find Perth on any of these maps.
posted by Monsieur Caution at 5:02 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


88888888ba,                  888b      88   ,ad8888ba, 888888888888  
88      `"8b                 8888b     88  d8"'    `"8b     88       
88        `8b                88 `8b    88 d8'        `8b    88       
88         88  ,adPPYba,     88  `8b   88 88          88    88       
88         88 a8"     "8a    88   `8b  88 88          88    88       
88         8P 8b       d8    88    `8b 88 Y8,        ,8P    88       
88      .a8P  "8a,   ,a8"    88     `8888  Y8a.    .a8P     88       
88888888Y"'    `"YbbdP"'     88      `888   `"Y8888Y"'      88       
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                         
88                               88                      
88              ,d         ,d    88                      
88              88         88    88                      
88  ,adPPYba, MM88MMM    MM88MMM 88,dPPYba,   ,adPPYba,  
88 a8P_____88   88         88    88P'    "8a a8P_____88  
88 8PP"""""""   88         88    88       88 8PP"""""""  
88 "8b,   ,aa   88,        88,   88       88 "8b,   ,aa  
88  `"Ybbd8"'   "Y888      "Y888 88       88  `"Ybbd8"'  
                                                         
                                                         
                                                                          
         88                                       88          88          
         88                                       88          ""   ,d     
         88                                       88               88     
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a8"    `Y88 a8"     "8a a8"     "8a 88P'   "Y8    88P'    "8a 88   88     
8b       88 8b       d8 8b       d8 88            88       88 88   88     
"8a,   ,d88 "8a,   ,a8" "8a,   ,a8" 88            88       88 88   88,    
 `"8bbdP"Y8  `"YbbdP"'   `"YbbdP"'  88            88       88 88   "Y888  
                                                                          
                                                                          
                                                
                                                
                                                
                                                
8b       d8  ,adPPYba,  88       88 8b,dPPYba,  
`8b     d8' a8"     "8a 88       88 88P'   "Y8  
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  `8b,d8'   "8a,   ,a8" "8a,   ,a88 88          
    Y88'     `"YbbdP"'   `"YbbdP'Y8 88          
    d8'                                         
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""     `Y8 I8[    "" I8[    ""    a8"     "8a 88P'   `"8a  
,adPPPPP88  `"Y8ba,   `"Y8ba,     8b       d8 88       88  
88,    ,88 aa    ]8I aa    ]8I    "8a,   ,a8" 88       88  
`"8bbdP"Y8 `"YbbdP"' `"YbbdP"'     `"YbbdP"'  88       88  
                                                           
                                                           
                                                                             
        88                                                                   
  ,d    88                                                                   
  88    88                                                                   
MM88MMM 88,dPPYba,   ,adPPYba,    8b      db      d8 ,adPPYYba, 8b       d8  
  88    88P'    "8a a8P_____88    `8b    d88b    d8' ""     `Y8 `8b     d8'  
  88    88       88 8PP"""""""     `8b  d8'`8b  d8'  ,adPPPPP88  `8b   d8'   
  88,   88       88 "8b,   ,aa      `8bd8'  `8bd8'   88,    ,88   `8b,d8'    
  "Y888 88       88  `"Ybbd8"'        YP      YP     `"8bbdP"Y8     Y88'     
                                                                    d8'      
                                                                   d8'       
                                     
                                     
                          ,d         
                          88         
 ,adPPYba,  88       88 MM88MMM      
a8"     "8a 88       88   88         
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"8a,   ,a8" "8a,   ,a88   88,   888  
 `"YbbdP"'   `"YbbdP'Y8   "Y888 888  
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 5:04 PM on March 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


ಠ_ಠ
posted by ardgedee at 5:05 PM on March 6, 2015


The thing that's great about viewing ascii art on my phone is that the formatting makes it even more magic eye bullshit than it usually is. Are there bunnies and kittens and wizards wearing hats? Who the hell knows!
posted by winna at 5:06 PM on March 6, 2015 [16 favorites]


Shore in Bermuda
posted by jgirl at 5:07 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Jeez I want a flag reason for sorcery
posted by halifix at 5:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [16 favorites]


I'm listening to Jane Eyre and I've got to the point where Jane is like THE HELL WITH U ST. JOHN.

She is such a boss.
posted by winna at 5:09 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


I put on my robe and wizard hat.
posted by ursus_comiter at 5:11 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


                                 .       .
                                / `.   .' \
                        .---.  <    > <    >  .---.
                        |    \  \ - ~ ~ - /  /    |
                         ~-..-~             ~-..-~
                     \~~~\.'                    `./~~~/
           .-~~^-.    \__/                        \__/
         .'  O    \     /               /       \  \
        (_____,    `._.'               |         }  \/~~~/
         `----.          /       }     |        /    \__/
               `-.      |       /      |       /      `. ,~~|
                   ~-.__|      /_ - ~ ^|      /- _      `..-'   f: f:
                        |     /        |     /     ~-.     `-. _||_||_
                        |_____|        |_____|         ~ - . _ _ _ _ _ >

(Today was the worst. I am so glad that this thread is happening right now. But it needs more dinosaurs.)
posted by cellar door at 5:11 PM on March 6, 2015 [19 favorites]


What time does your shift end?
posted by Melismata at 5:11 PM on March 6, 2015


Well, I've been trying to convert this image to ASCII art, 'cause it's not the text of the Treaty of Westphalia, but the results are all so ineffective and obnoxious that I just can't do it. Not even for the cred of getting a comment deleted in this thread. I'll just have to try something else.

poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop
posted by benito.strauss at 5:11 PM on March 6, 2015


I noticed the tag on this post "everythingweholddeer"
                              ....
                      .: :..:::::'
                   ..:.::''''  '''     .. . .
                 .':: ::''  .. ..   .::'' '''
                  ':::' .::.'::  .'..::::::.
               ..:.::::: '.. :.'.:'''
         ...:'''  '':'::':'   ''
        :^ ^  'o>   .:'''
        :..'        '.
         '''''::    ':             .........
              :     :.       ...::''' ' ' '''::.
            .::     ':::.:':'''''            :::':.
           .::'                             :::
           ::'                              ::. ...::.
          .::'                        .      '''.' . :.
          '::.                       ::... .  .'.''':::.
           ':.                   ....:::::':::::.    ':::..
           .:'         .:'.:.'::::::' '        ':::..  ':::::.
      ....:::::..     .:::::::'' '                 '':.    '':'
    .':.:.:::::::'. ...:: ''
  .'.''          .':'::'  
.::'          .''::
              ' ':':'.. .
                     '''.' 
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:14 PM on March 6, 2015 [10 favorites]


Note: Everyone needs a hug.
posted by mountmccabe at 5:15 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Can I just say

ZIPPITY BOP!

?

Cos I know it's neither the time not the place, but I can't do this ACSII shit and it's all I got.
posted by penguin pie at 5:17 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


👉👌
posted by ardgedee at 5:18 PM on March 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


888    888                        
888    888                        
888    888                        
8888888888888  888 .d88b. .d8888b 
888    888888  888d88P"88b88K     
888    888888  888888  888"Y8888b.
888    888Y88b 888Y88b 888     X88
888    888 "Y88888 "Y88888 88888P'
                       888        
                  Y8b d88P        
                   "Y88P"         
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 5:19 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


davidleerothaskingforabottleofanythingandaglazeddonuttogo.gif

That's all I got. I don't really know how to do ASCII art on anything but my old TRS-80 with the Epson dot matrix printer.
posted by bondcliff at 5:21 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


"Any advice for the new moderators matt"


posted by boo_radley at 5:21 PM on March 6, 2015 [31 favorites]


matt where is my image matt
posted by boo_radley at 5:23 PM on March 6, 2015


ohhhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
posted by boo_radley at 5:24 PM on March 6, 2015 [20 favorites]


G̢̜͉͙̊ͯͬO̗̠̩̬̝̖̝̼̫ͭ̉̓́̉̑͠O̦̟̣̲̝̝̙̟͌̒͟Ḑ̨̙͍̭̰̦̹͖̎ͭͨ̅B̷̝̂͛̆ͮ̉̔ͬ͗͝Y̻̘̗̩̻̺͕̓̂ͭͤͫ͛ͬ͜E̴̷̘͎̹̮̮̗̳͈̲̽̔́ͯ́ͯͩ͞,̵͖ͮ͌ͪ̓͛̉̾̐̀͟ ̴̧͚͖̠ͯ̇͗̓̇̍M̝̥̗͈̳̝̀̓̔̈́ͫͣA̱̙͍ͧͣ̿̑̓Tͩ̍ͬ̑̽͜҉̜͙̗̙T̸̈̊̄̾̚͏͓͕͎̯,̨̛̟͚̄͑͗̅ ̨̛ͦ̊̎͂̊҉̩̮͚͕A̢̺̱̮̩̲͉̩̟͐ͪN̷̗̙̮͐͗ͬ̑͆̿̎̍̕͠D̦̦͉̳ͮͣ͊͛ ̸̧̪͚̖͎̥̒̂́̈̐̈́ͅG̗̳͎͌̆ͮ̽Ó̼͕̎̀͘͢O̧̢͖͔̮̺̪̳̫̾̍͝Ḍ̸̝͔̑̓̉̉͗ͪ̍ ̵̦̔͐ͪ̉ͮ̂̓ͯͮ̀͠Ḷ̻̲̜̽͢U̼̱͋ͯ̐́͒͠ͅͅC̯̳̞͉̍̔ͩ͠K̵͍̘̰̼͔̱̹͎͂̇ͣ͋̈́̿̊́ ̰̲ͭ͂̇t̸̛̫͍̮̭̜̙̀ͣ͂̈̚ͅoͮͩ̓ͮͯ͗͏̼͖͚̫̯͉ͅͅ
̴̻̱̩ͬͩͩ̌̽̂ͤͣ͝
̸̷̮̪̘̦ͧ̇͡R̯̰̫͑͑ͪ̋̌ͪͤ͡ȅ̡̫̫̯̤̤̻g̖̪͐͌ͨ̓̒̇͋͛͠ͅa̢̛̘̣̥̦̽̐̔̄ͥ̔ͪr̼͍̪͎̐̔̒̀́d̆̅̔҉̭̀s̪̣̞ͮ̀͆ͨͥ̔ͣ̚͘,͖͍̪̳̲̲͍̗̤͊̓̈́
̨̠̯͑ͯ̆̂ͦ̓̈́̓Z̜̯͈̲ͪ̋͐̑ͧ̇̾͘͞a̷͑͋҉̫̪͔̯̣̙̪̻͞l̨̉ͩ̎͏̻̦̱̰̮̳̯͍g͓̾͐́͜o̽͒҉͇̤̗͚̘̰
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 5:25 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


I sense a great rummaging through memes, and an impending avalanche of images.
posted by gingerbeer at 5:32 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


flonk
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:35 PM on March 6, 2015


What's That? Sadly, the education of the youth of amerika is declining in more than one way. The other day I was at the grocery store and the checker was unable to identify a portabello mushroom. And no, she wasn't new...and to make matters worse the checker next to her didn't know either.
posted by Mayor West at 5:37 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


hey let us change the backgrounds on our user profiles hey hey come on just for old time's sake hey please
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:37 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


Awww. *kicks dirt*
posted by Mayor West at 5:38 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Mayor West: was this a Shaw's? Challenge them to a fight. They'll know where to meet you.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:38 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


no ascii art, no zalgo, and no img tag so I can only link to a video cap of matt trying to head for the exit.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:39 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


So how the heck did boo_radley get that image in?
posted by Mitheral at 5:40 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


I inserted it by hand, from the link.
posted by mathowie (retired) at 5:40 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


also: bribes
posted by mathowie (retired) at 5:41 PM on March 6, 2015 [65 favorites]


Matt on the Hollywood Squares?
posted by clavdivs at 5:41 PM on March 6, 2015


...and a scene from the going away party.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:42 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


hahaha! I tired (and failed) to imbed an image so I flagged my post and it got deleted by (I assume) Matt.

Imma make that motherfucker MODERATE my ass until his time is up. No way is he getting off easy.
posted by bondcliff at 5:42 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


This thread makes me want a cocktail.
posted by heyho at 5:43 PM on March 6, 2015




Geez Matt isn't it a little late to making your bribes/no bribes stance public?
posted by Mitheral at 5:43 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]



                |@@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@|
                |@@@@@@^     ~^  @  @@ @ @ @ I  ~^@@@@@@|
                |@@@@@            ~ ~~ ~I          @@@@@|
                |@@@@'                  '  _,w@<    @@@@|
                |@@@@     @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@  @  @@@|
                |@@@@     @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  I  @@@|
                |@@@@     @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i  @@@|
                |@@@@     @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | ]@@@|
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                |@@@@,  @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[  @@@@|
                |@@@@@_|| @@@@@@P' @@P@@@@@@@@@@@[|c@@@@|
                |@@@@@@w| '@@P~  P]@@@-~, ~Y@@^'],@@@@@@|
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                |@@@@@@@@,@ @@, c,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@|
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                |@@@@^^=^@@^   ^' ,ww,w@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@|
                |@@@_xJ~ ~   ,    @@@@@@@P~_@@@@@@@@@@@@|
                |@@   @,   ,@@@,_____   _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@|
                |@@L  `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@|
                |@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@|
Have fun with Slack, Matt.
posted by zamboni at 5:44 PM on March 6, 2015 [18 favorites]


It's small, but LLAP. \\//_

Can I get a favorite Matt? Just to say I got a favorite from you? :D
posted by IndigoRain at 5:44 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]



[trigger warning: everything.]
posted by ardgedee at 5:44 PM on March 6, 2015 [69 favorites]


 __        ___   _    _  _____ 
 \ \      / / | | |  / \|_   _|
  \ \ /\ / /| |_| | / _ \ | |  
   \ V  V / |  _  |/ ___ \| |_ 
  __\_/\_/  |_|_|_/_/   \_\_(_)
 |_   _| | | | ____|           
   | | | |_| |  _|             
   | | |  _  | |___ _          
  _|_|_|_| |_|_____(_) __      
 |  ___| | | |/ ___| |/ /      
 | |_  | | | | |   | ' /       
 |  _| | |_| | |___| . \ _     
 |_|  __\___/ \____|_|\_(_)    
 |  \/  |  / \|_   _|_   _|    
 | |\/| | / _ \ | |   | |      
 | |  | |/ ___ \| |   | |_     
 |_|  |_/_/   \_\_|   |_(_)
posted by NoraReed at 5:45 PM on March 6, 2015 [30 favorites]


for the science nerd that still lurks deep in your heart, Matt
 
                      ( L   )
                      ( O  )
                     ( L )
                    (  )
                  /AAA\
                 /AAAAA\
                /AAAAAAA\
               /AAAAAAAAA\
              /AAAAAAAAAAA\
             /AAAAAAAAAAAAA\
            /AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA\

                 lolcano!
posted by barchan at 5:46 PM on March 6, 2015 [20 favorites]


For the record, this is the image I tried to imbed. It's still my most viewed image on Flickr.

Before my wife understood Metafilter and/or knew Jessamyn she'd occasionally see and and go "Tell me again who that woman is who is sort of flashing you and who the heck is that guy on her shirt?
posted by bondcliff at 5:46 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


Anyone hungry?
                ._zzzd@@@@zzzL_
              ._d@@~=~'._)-]~~~-@zz,
       _zzr-zz~~)'   )L  _,   z _"~@z_
     ]a@~._]P 6"             z     e`@bz_
   _z@@Z, ][    -  )c )-  )-  ._ - .,`~r~b,
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 ]@@. ]r, .-aL_ _   )L `   "'], ._z_  ~   ][
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     ~~@@@@@@@@zzaza_db_L  `' z=@@@@@@@@@@@~
       ]@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[~~"
        ]@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@]@@@@@@@@@@'
        `@@@@@a@@a@@]M@@M@@]@@]OM@@@@[
         q@@@@K@@U@@M@[@H[@]M@]@UM@@@'
          @@U@@]][@qH[[]H[[]H[]]]]]@[
          `@@aN,baq[[[2]][[q~[d|r(@@'
           q@@)ql]`bq|]]][[]]'P||Q@[    jrd
            ~@@bd_L11"`` '_____za@@'
             `~~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~~"
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:50 PM on March 6, 2015


YAY I GOT A FAVORITE FROM MATHOWIE!!
posted by IndigoRain at 5:51 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


Matt if you have time could you answer this question real quick:

How 2 poast internet?

posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:51 PM on March 6, 2015


 ______  _       _______           _    _______ 
(_____ \| |     (_______)  /\     | |  (_______)
 _____) ) |      _____    /  \     \ \  _____   
|  ____/| |     |  ___)  / /\ \     \ \|  ___)  
| |     | |_____| |_____| |__| |_____) ) |_____ 
|_|     |_______)_______)______(______/|_______)
                                                
 _     _  _____  ______ _______    ______  _______ 
| |   | |/ ___ \(_____ (_______)  |  ___ \(_______)
| |__ | | |   | |_____) )____     | | _ | |_____   
|  __)| | |   | |  ____/  ___)    | || || |  ___)  
| |   | | |___| | |    | |_____   | || || | |_____ 
|_|   |_|\_____/|_|    |_______)  |_||_||_|_______)
posted by cmyk at 5:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [10 favorites]


Careful now, bondcliff.
posted by Songdog at 5:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


And with all due respect to the Zalgo upthread, surely it should be



H̳͎͂̆eͩ̿ͬ̆ͩ̏͆ͪ҉̫ͅ ̨̛̩̖̺͉̩̦̼ͮ̋͐͑̀g̶̶̘̹̒͑̇̽̇̏o̷̯͍͉̮͉͚̍̉͋̾̀̈́̀ę̘̓ͫ̅ͩ͑ͥ͒s̙̰̦̣̝͗͌ͨ͌̄̅͂
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


 __        ___   _    _  _____ 
 \ \      / / | | |  / \|_   _|
  \ \ /\ / /| |_| | / _ \ | |  
   \ V  V / |  _  |/ ___ \| |_ 
  __\_/\_/  |_|_|_/_/   \_\_(_)
 |_   _| | | | ____|           
   | | | |_| |  _|             
   | | |  _  | |___ _          
  _|_|_|_| |_|_____(_) __      
 |  \/  || | | |/ ___| |/ /      
 | |\/| || | | | |   | ' /       
 | |  | || |_| | |___| . \ _     
 |_|__|_| \___/_\____|_|\_(_)    
 |  ___|  / \|_   _|_   _|    
 | |___  / _ \ | |   | |      
 |  ___|/ ___ \| |   | |_     
 |_|   /_/   \_\_|   |_(_)
oops.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:56 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


we were gonna pool funds and get you a bike accessory as a parting gift, but.... YOU KNOW:
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 5:57 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


I̝͕͉̭̤̰̊̓ͬ̐͒͛ͩͅͅṋ̪̜͈͔̘̆̍̽̔ͫ͛͌ ͚̞̞͙̣̟̰̃ͭt͖̤͍̝̖̣̪̑̾h͇͍̻̯͔̙̠̱̘͊̆͂̐̐͠ȩ͈̩̯̈́ͪͮ͋ ̷͕̠̺͙̺͖̻̅͂ͪ͊ͧn̞̱̑̌̾ͪͥa̵͚̮̥̼̣̋̄͐͛́̓̄̀̕͠m̢͍̜̺̖̬̩͖̄ͦ̐̔̓̈̌͝e̬̯̟̙̗̠̹͂ͭ̅̌̐̀͜͡ ̈́̽̀ͪͤ̂̊͊̋͏̵̝͔͡o͒͆̂̑҉̶͉̭̥͍̝f̛͈̬̗͈͍ͪͯͬ̇ͦ ̳̭̎ͨ̅̓̕͡t̠̬̠͕̹͖̔͡͠h̼̣͐͑̿͆ͫ̀͆ḙ̡̼͎̠͈̫͉̂̕ ̥̫̯̮̤̪̌͌̔͛ͪͯ͛m̧̼̘͖̐̊̈́o̢̹̼̞̜̺͓͊s̴̜̺̟͇ͣͫ̄̏̎t̥̫͙̖̤͈͍̘ͬͪͤ̇̕ ̧̳̙̦̿ͮ͌̇̈́͋̉̽ͭh̘̫̺̼̐ͤͭ̃o̸̪̮̰͚̭̳͒̔͂ͪ̔̎͢l̫̮͇̰̬̜͔̭ͬͫ̀͗̍ͣͯ̋̈͟y̷̻̮̜̗̞̙͆̌̕ ̬͓̰̠̖͙̦̫̳̃̾̓̑ấ̵̛̬̘ͯ̽̏ņ̬̺̭͚̻̥̯ͯͦͦ̀ͭ͛͡d̨͕̺̣̱̩̼̀̄͛́ ̻̖͉̣͇͙̓́͌ͩ̑̿ͪ̕i̩͙̻͔͙͍͛ͬ̎̐͝n̷̟̑͗́͌̊̇d̰͍ͫ͑̈̅͛̕͝ͅį̶̠̲͉͓̔̃̐̄v̶͎̥͇̙͎ͪͪ̓͜i̷͉̲͒̿͛ͦ̿ͩ͂̈́̆͠ḓ̣̖͖̳̯̭̤̫̌ͥȕ̵̜̞̣̠ͧ͐ͧ͘͞ͅa̰͇̗͕̤͎ͨͯͦͮ͟lͦͪ͒ͯͮ͐͠͏̖̫̞̩ͅ ̖̥̗̱͙̬̙̒̔ͦͥͪ̀̄̓́Ťͤ̍͂ͭ̓͏͏̠̝̩̱̤r͚̫̖̹̱͖͇͂͂̽̈́͛͜ȋ̄̑͂̚҉̵̻̻̼̥n̉̾ͩ҉̻̼̫̪̯͕i͍͚͙̬̋̃̔ͧͮ̇̀̚͞͝t͈̰̠͚̬͕͍͕̍̊ͯͣͩ͢y̢̧̝̭͖̌̿ͨͦ̈̋̾͠:͕́̊̾ͨ͐̅͌͞ ̴̪̘͎̝̭͉̩̓ͤ̕͜

̻͌͋͑͆̓̒̈́͋͢B̾̅̓͋ͬ͒ͮ̐̚͏̢̼̹̻̮͎͇̙e̴̱͓ͮ͌ ̪̟̖͉͎̪͎͕̱̓͆ͬͨ͊͢i̢̳̣̭͆̾͗̓͑̾͡ţ̸̷̮͖̤̹̩ͦ̒̆́ ̉͗͏̨̪k̡̗̻̻͉͓ͣ̂̒n̵̺͈͎̗̱̟͇͔ͧ̆̎ͩ̓̂ͨ͒͘oͭ̍̎͌͌̃҉̵̮̙̦ẅ̷̲̝̬̜͙̳͖͖́͂͡ṅ̛͔̥ͥͦ͐͘ ͇̞̗̳̓͂̏͊̋̏͋̕͡t̡̥͎͈͇̎͌́o̯̬̻͍̅̀ ̸̠͉͚̦̍̂́͛́́ḁ̷̷̢͖̣̲̬̔l̶̷̸̖͓̳̬̞̰̒ͥ͆l̜̤̮̭̠͈͈̗ͪ̌ͭͪͩ́́͡,̡̠̜̭̱̹̜̰͛̆ͦ̇͆̓̈́ ̴̸̛̱ͥ̑̇̆ą̨̯̹̥ͤͧ̉ͬ̔͜n̨̢̥͈͕͖̖̯̳̂ͧͥ̈̎̈̿̇ḏ̠̱ͤ̍ͯ̉ͯ̽̾͌͡ ̡͉̝̙̪͎̓̋̀́̊͟ȅ͕͕̝͇̬̋̅̎́ͅv̌̃̓ͦͨ̊ͩ̇͞҉̡͈̼̝e͙̜͉ͤ̊͢r̉ͩ̔͌҉͔̩͉͎̻̖y̡̘̓ͭ͑̃͐͘ ͊̉̒̊͏̩͍̜̤̙̮o̶̙͖͉̟͋̎̀ͅn͚͙̗͈̥̈̀͟ȩ̭̈͊̇̍ͮ̽̌̀ ̩͔̅ͪ͊͋̊͆̽͠w̷̴͎͕̩̝̺̼ͦ͐̑̅ͤ̂͌̿͝ḫ̴̺̖̬͙̉̅̂ͨͨ͊̇́͂ò̶̥̯͉͍͂̀m̒ͯ̊ͯ͊͛҉̗͙̫͖͚̻̥̩́ ̥̘̝̰͓̣̗͓ͭ̃ͮ͂̏̍̄i̵̛̩̙̠̼̹͉ͯͦͤ̃͘tͧ̈́ͩ̉̓̄̀͝҉̘͖̲ ̱̤̙̝̼͋m̷ͭͨ͊̽͒̉͟͏̬̺͙͙͇̲̦ͅá̟͋́̉ͯ͌͌͋͢y̴̝͉̖̱̯̹̑̋̄̚͟ͅ ̺̮̠̺̜͆̊̊̐ͬͯ͆̎͘͠ͅc̐̅͌̽̄ͮ̄͒͏̧͕̳͖͎͕o̸͍̻̱̗̠͎̤̯͊̔ͤ̽͌n̛̘̝ͥ͂ͨͤ͊ͤc̴̯͙̳̖̘̞͈͆̀̂̐̋̕e̮̠̗̙͉͕̭ͩͦ̕ŗ͖͚͙̹̃̽̓ͩ̎͋͐̄̈́͘͠n̩̯̣̬̺͋ͥͩ́̚,̟̥̟̩̏ͮ̒̈́̒̆͑̓͢ ̙͕̞̪̱͑ͪͣ͆̿̆o̩̥̫̓̓͂͐̀̏ͨŗ̪̟̘ͪ̀̑͒̚͘ ̸ͫ̔̾̋ͦͪ͏͎̼ͅt̰͖̞̹̔͌̇̇͒͌̾̕o̷̥͚̼͎̯̤͔̺̎̾̄̌ͥ̌͑̌ͬ͠ ̵̟͚̻̳͒̔ͣ̓̑͡w̥͙̝͗̔̿̿̀̀͜h̒ͧ̔ͥ̌̿͏̨̝̗̺o̵̵̦̭̿̉ͭͩm̯̺̯̼̔̒ͫͭ̐̎̅͢ͅ ͔̭̺̩̀̉̓͌͟ͅiͯ̌ͯͯͯ̿̎̚҉̕҉̻̤̝n͚̫̰͕̝͚̠̺͂ͫ͐̆͐̾ͩͫ͢ ͐͛̓͗̄̎͑̀͏̰̙̬à̢̲̭͎̺͕̐ǹ̛̯͍̞̇͐͂͛͢y̷̛̹̝̞͈̱̞̆ͅ ͓͓ͮ̈́̊ͬͩ̓̓ḿ̷̮̬̻̀ͣͫ͌ͥa̡͈̼ͫ͒̊ͯ̈́̚nͦ̃̇̇̄̋ͨ̇҉̸̲̜̯ͅn̢̝̐͗́ĕ͗̓ͭ͑̎̎͑̓҉̪̼͚͚̩͇̭ṟ̵̊ͨ͑́ ̸͙͎͚̯͍̞̀̿̆ͧ̉̐̄̚iͬ̅҉̶҉͖̱̯̩͍͓̺͈t̯̫̹ͯ̑̑̅̆͒̅̚͡͠ ̷͖̜̭̯͙̇̂͐́m̤͓̼̪̳̲̯ͭ̍̊ͤa̱̲̿̄̇ͫ̀ȳ̦̯̲ͩ ̵̸̣͉̈͊b̐̌̐̉҉͉̘͚͡ẽ̡͕̫͍̼̬̣͉͛ͩ̑̏͘ͅl̸̩̮̲̫̣̗̗̓ͬ̀͘o̭͉̯̜̟̻̖̹ͯ̀̽͐̀͡n̴͙͕̦̥̦̹͖̜ͭ̈́̍g̛͚̘̲̑̏͞,̳̼̼͔̬͎̼ͭ̐̊̓̂ͅ ̡̛̘͎͔͇̣͈͖ͥ̎̉̅̽͋̄
̴̖̲̦̳̯̯͂ͪͮ́͋̆̐̓
T͓͉̗͔̘̲̝̭ͯ̀͝h̦̜͛͋ͨͫa̼̬̣̥͕̯̘ͭ̆͡͝ͅt̡̤͈ͭͪ͋ͨ ̛̥̱͑̍͢ͅͅḟ̩̥̪ͤ͑͂͆͢ö͎͎̮̘͍͖̲͚́ͦͅr͇̖̝͚̭̼ͪ̔͘͟ͅ ̛̌҉̸̥͈͉̟̲̭̱m̶͎̣̜͓͑͂ͭͣ̓ä̴̟̪̼͕͇͕̻̉ͣ̀͜n̆̑̚҉̞̹͓͖̯͍ͅÿ̭͇͉̪͖ͦ̄ͨ́ ̞͈̪̮̘̥̈́ͦ̾̄ͤ̑́͢͞Y̷̝͙̪̙͕̤̺ͤ̀̾ͬ̌̋ͤ̍ẹ̟͖̙̓̓̿͗ͫ̍̊ạ̴̵̻ͤͤͣ̈r̺͎̬̰̞͕̪ͨ̃̆ͨͤͫͣ͌͡ͅͅṡ̨̝̝͉̺͙̻͚͘ͅ ͑͂̄̊͐ͤͬ̄̿҉̘̣̬͙̠̣͞p̵̡͍̥͎̦̖̀̂̇̾̋͌ͭ̕a̰̻͕͔͈̰ͮͦ̌ͧ̅͐̚s̤͕̖̞̳̆̈̅͌̒ͤ̄̌t͕͈͉̘ͧ̔̐͛͞,̡̛͇ͮͧ̕ ̡̙ͪ̏ͯͯͤ̚D͈̜̈̎̾͂͠i̻͔̬̠͐̀̿ͅs͓̺̯̖̞̃̈́̇ͩ͛͊ͪͩ̎c̓͐̃͗̊ͬ̓̋̚҉̸̠͍̗̤͈̦̘̼͔o̵̺̲̿̂̾̓ͣͅŗ̮̝͇͕̺̳ͫ̓͊͗̈̊̋d̟͙̟̻̭͎̭̐ͭ̄̍̓ͬ̊̅̀͝ͅs̸͚̙͓̥͚͇̱ͣ͆ͩ̌ͮͧ̏͛̕ͅ ̩̰͖͖͔̩̩ͨͬ͟ͅá̞̭͚̓ͪn̸̠̭̖̦̗̖̊̇̀ͫ̃̈ͪ͐͘d̵͎̳̪͓ͮ͛͡ ̜̼̗̝ͦ̓ͦ͌͌̆̏̈ͩC̢͔̻̖̠̠̝̹̲̖̊̔ͪ̃i̹͙̩̠̖̥̇̐͆̂͗ͯͣ͆́v̨̧̼͔͇̙̪̤̈̾ͤ̕i̟̝͙ͤ̿͐ͦ̇́͝͞l̴̳̩̹͍̫̋̈̚͠ ̣̙̜̍ͬ̋̓̐̚ͅD̴͍͚̓̔͜i̸̛̝̞͖̫͇̺̹ͯͪ̓̏͊̿ͅv̢̰͉͓̭̻̦͚̪͎̓̀̒ͤ͌͊͞i̸̴͉̬̫̻̥̳͕̇͛́s̜̼̩̥͑ͥi̸̠̹͉͉̫͚͙͊̏̽̄ͫ͞ͅo̢̡̲͌̊̑̈́̆̍̾ͤn̤̲̖͙̮̙͚̜͇ͦ͌͐̊ͩ͝s̷̫̙͓̜̣͊̃͑ ͈͆̊̉͐́͒̋b̫̼͕͍͓͈͓͓̃̇͑̃ͦͯe̠̲̥ͪͯͪ̊͐̈́͟į̦͎̻͌͗͂̈́ͬ̃̽̚͜n̯͙̪͈͍͎ͧg̨͙̳̤̠͇̠̭͖̪̉̒ͥ̕ ̫̹ͬͧ̿̽͡s̷͇̗̓̿ͬ̌̆͜͢ͅt̳͔̮̰ͪͨͣ͊̏͛̿̈́͢͞i̡̨̘̲̥̝̿ͥ̏͢r͈̠̼̘̯ͫ̊̾ͮ̓ͧͅ'̘̣̤̥̺̱ͣ͛̀̀͗̀̌́̌ͅd̵̷͓͓̜͔͗̽̎ͩ ̉ͧ͏̤u͈̰̦͕͎̙̓̃̈̍͑p̧͉̗̠̤̭ͥͪ͛ͤ͑̀ ̰̩̗͍̖̲̯͔̱̎̏ͩi͔̳̞̙̪̟̖͕ͯ̈ͨ̄̋̌̔ͩ̕ņ̗̟̠̫̞̮ͦ̕͢ ͌ͭ͑ͧ̌̏͐̓͏̷͉ͅͅt̜̻̱̗̰̭̯̣͍̉̊ͥͤ͟h̷̞͖̞͙̦̤̩ͫ͒̀̑e̲̤̤͙̦̲̥̊͊̈̊́̏ͥ̉ͅ ̴̛̻̗̹͔͈̙̘̱̤͊ͯͦ̅͑R͚̥̭̜̘͖̭̠̔̈́ͪ͞͠ȯ̼̼̣̖̼̭ͣ̄͛͞ͅm̶̦̖̦͕̗̪̖̼͉̆͆͊̃͒̆͗͋́͝aͯ͏͖̥͇̙̜͟n͓͚͚̰͎̙̓̌ͣ̓͗̈̃͘ ̨̻͙̠͊ͥ͐́̽ͤ͆̀͞E̙͇̣̟̹ͬ͊͗͂̋̋̋͞ͅm̶͉̖͇̈́͛̆̄͆̕̕p̧̺̩͈̠̼ͬͯ͝i͙̬̙͖͚̳̮̙ͪ͗̇r͚̞̬̋e̵̳̬̳̤̳̥̥̠͒ͯ͆̋̀ͅ,̢̝̙̰͍̪̔̊ͤͬͤ̊̒̑̕ ̊ͩ͋̋̊͛̓̄͏̛̠͉̮
͍͕̦̙͉̃̐̌̍ͧ̓̚ͅ
ẘ̷̷̹͕̞̪̼̞̑ͪ͛ͤ̌̐͛ͅh̦̻̦̋ͩͩ̋̃̽̋̓͞ͅī̷͕ͩ̋̓͒̀c̭̯̖̗̓ͣͮ̏h͉͉͓̤̖̩̱̼́́̒̚ ̞̙̬̖̭͇͎̉́i͉̜͍̺̱̱͐̉̑̑̐͊̋͞n̪̲̝ͯ̈́̐̾̽̌͞ĉ͖̣͇̣̰͚͔͖̈́̔̕͟rͨͯ̽̈́͗͏̵̸̰̼̻͉̹̝̲ȩ̟̟̪̂̈̆̋̇ͭ̀̂a̢̳͉̯̪͆̽͐̀͌̊ͭͯs̸̍̅̂̈͗͊͒͏̭̦̼'̝̹̪̜̲̼͎͌̾̄̅̉̅̎d̶͎͎̝̱̱̯̘̜ͮ̔ ̦̟̥̯͈̑ͣ͘ṱ̷̤̰̘̭̏ͥ̀͝o̢̤̦̙̺͐̐̾ͭ̕ ̛̼͍͈͋ͮͩ́ͭ̽͟s̨̬̟̜̩̩̫͖͓̟ͣ̑ͫͭ̚u̢͚̪̤̳̇ç̻͙͎͓̘̞͋ͫ͆̐̍͐ͪ͢͟h̰̗̺̼ͨͯͩ͐̇ ̣͔̝̬̦̥̠̿̆ͨ̋ͮ́̍ͤ̄̀͜͠ȃͤ͌́̚̚͏̶̱̰̮̜͕͕̮̗̮ ̬̫̫̺̝̩͓͕͋͂ͤ̅ͫ̆͆ḑ̵̝͔̝̠̻̗̎͌̒̃́ͥͭ̎͠e̅̈͌͊͏̤͉͕̺gͥͮͥ͐̔ͦ͏̱͔͔̭̗r̖̭̲̯̯̾̚e̸̶̡̦̰̦̜̭͖̝̙̎e̛̺̰ͥ̄̾ͭͭͣ̄̏́͘͠,̞̙̺͕̹̟̘͚͚̑ͪ͘͝ ̶̲͇̃̆ͪ̀͡
̶͇̯̂͂ͦ
t͈͈̩̥̗͉̘̻̰͋͞͞h͚̘̓̊ͯ͑͒̈̈͌̃͞ą̪̘͕̞̅̃ͪͧ͌͗̒̀͝ţ̢̞̱͔̣̃̍ ͑͋͒ͪͥ̅̀̈́҉͙̙̱̦̪̣͕ͅņ̻̜̪̦͑ͣ̕ö̧͙̖̩̰͈̤͈̹̿͡͠t͉̥̖̤̦̭͈͙̹͆͐̍ͥ̌͒̄̂ ̨̲͖̺̞̖̱̅ͮ͐ͩ̀oͥͮͬ́͏͔̩̪ṅ̨͚̭̬̭̆͗͋̀͡l̴̡̗̠̹̼̙̳̃̓̆̓̑ͩ̚̚y̞̮ͨ͑̓̿̉͡ ̸̡̞̭̥̯̜̮̠́̈́̿̔ͮͯ̓̉a͕̮̬͍͐͝l̤̱ͥͣ̈́͋l̨̜̣̣ͮ͆͐ͫͨͅ ̟̯̝͔͉̼͂̾ͯͧ̆̂̌ͨͤG̜̘̜̤̳̭̙̬̗̊ͫͥ̋͂̔͑̊̀͞e̠͇̟̣̥ͨ͌́̌ͥͪ͠r̡̘̗͇̰̠̜̞̟͊̌́ͤ͛͋͌m̮̯̻̹̔ͨ͢ȃ͎̖̦͎̻̹̺̼̣͐͢͟͞n͋̔ͣ̊ͣ̏̕͏̱͎͎̣͚ͅy̸͉͙̹̲͐͌ͤ̔͊͋,̳̜̙͎̦̾̀ͩͣͥ̋̚͞ͅ ̗̬̣͇̰͉ͤ̌͟
͖̬ͨͪͧ͘͟
b̖̦̖͇̖̮̣ͬͨͮ̌ͣ̅ͤͨ͘ǔ̴̬͔̭͔͓̼͖͙̅͟t̺̠̟͙͕̺̓ͦͩ̔̒̿ͫͮ ̨̨͚̯̖̗̤̟͓́ͯ̐̓͆̔̊̂̈́͟ã̜͇͍̦̱̪̘̝̱̌̄̉͗̆̇͋̋l͔͔͓̼ͦ̆̊͡s̢̞̠̙̟̏̑̚͝ǒ͖̳̎̃̓̃̓̃͝ ̥̳̥͈͖̮͖ͬͩͭͦ̒͌̂͊̑͘͟t͉̦͇̯̀͂ͨͪ́ḩ̰͙͊ͮ̅͌̑̐̔ͬ͑͞ẽ͋̅ͯ͆҉̘ ̡̧͖̖̦̳͈̻͉͔ͫ̃͛͒ͩͫn̗̮͍̣ͬ̊͐͊ͬ͛̌̕͘͠eͦ͊̎̊ͣͦͤ҉̣͇̜͕̜̹͈̭͠ͅi̷͖̱̻̹̩̱̭̳ͯg̗͓̜̗͚͓͓̽̈́̂͛͞h̓͗͏̛͎͖͈̘͈b͎͇̃̔̈́͆ͣ́͛̓o̴͐ͭͧͭ͏̗͇͖̖͍̣u̶͓̬̗̼͊̅̀ͮ̀r̬͕͙̠̫̪̫͛͒̃ͨ̓͊ͯ̽͠ḯ̴̲̙̻̙̥̯ͨͣͪ͋̄͢ͅn̗̘̥͎̑ͫ̽ͭ͑̋ͪ̓ͮ̀g̓́͌̆̄̽́҉̘͞ ͤ͒ͥ̔̇҉̸͍̼͜K̪̗̮͙̩͔̩ͬ́ͩ̉̀͆į̝͖̦͓͇ͮ̆̄ͭ͑̇̒͢n̶̯͈̟̟̩̅ͣ̉́̓̓ͫͅg̴͙̜̟̔͗̈́d̖͚̗̠͖̹͇̖̩̑̏ͦ̽ͭ͊̃͜o̾͛̇͆ͬ̑҉̜͇̖̟́m̸̵͉ͤͯ͛s̞̼̟̼̥̝͂͐͠͞,̧̲̟͇͓̼̖ͧ͛̀̃͜ ͍͙͎͔̯̈́́͢͝
̬͔̬̱̻͙̝̈ͦͦ̆͡ͅ
a̱̠̦͎͖̩̪͎̮̅̎͆̽͑̀͜͟n̸̷͎̙͉̈́ͣͬ̂̾͜ḓ̤̣̥͙̦̰͕̑́̚̚̕ͅ ̨̥̙̬͗ͨͨ͜͞F͈̦͖͖̓͗͛ͭ͠r͉̺͔̅ͥ̈́ͣ͆ä̷̠̲͔̮͍̗͉͆n̸̨͔̗͓̦͍̾ͥ́̇ͣ̄͑́ͅc͙̪̞̺̟̿ͨͫ̓̑͘͠͠e̙͖̞̮̦͖̬̭̽͛ͬ̽̾ͦ̈́͞ ̵̢͉̬͓̞̲̰̰͎̔ͮp̡͓̜̀̽͑ͥa̅͆͏̷̸̠̼̖͕̥̯̲̼̫ŗ̣̠̦̪͓̩͖̠ͭͣ͐ͯţ̸̯̤̲̜̠̯͈̟ͨ̅̊̓i̟̙̟̜͂̓̑̓̕͞͝c̘͍͆̍̍u̧͉͖̩͐̋ͩ̐̌̍̈́l̜̯̟͖̜̞ͣ̇̇̓ͨͦ̌̆ͅā͎̯͑̂ͧ͗͋ͦ̐̀͟r̗̝̞̟͑̄ͤ̇͊ͪ͂͘l̡̝̪̯͚̰̹̑̏̓ͥ͗ͩÿ̸̞̣̯̠̓͘,̵̮̠ͨ̌͌́͆̈̎̂̇͠ ̵̴̝̜̘̜͐ͫ
͇̥̹͕͔̘̋̇̉͗́͆͐ͪ
h̠͎̼͇͓̒̾̄̋̀͜ͅą͖̘ͨ͗̀ͬͨ̾́v̞̣͍̱̰͍ͬ͗̏͐̑ͅẹ̪̰͛͆ ̺̞̯̦̘̠̪ͩͤͩ̚ͅb̸̸̮̺̾̎͋ͮ̾ẽ͈̺̮͈͕͖̠ͫͥ͂͜͠ͅè͍̠̰͈͚̩̰̠͑̋̈́̚͜n̳͉̲̈́̿́̄́ ̰͕ͬͯ͊ͮ̈͛͝ï̲͓̤̣̖͇̼̙ṋ̵̨̭̲̞̲̗͛ͥ̕ͅv̵͈͕͌̑̇͘ọ̷̷͙ͬl̵̬̘̱͐ͪ̊v̨̱̒ͦ͋̌̿̅̌͞'̴̮̝̼̬̾̏͊͞d̞̙̪͙̩̘̙̪̝̅̓ͪ̓ͮ͞ ̴͕̫̼̲͔̓̋̊̾͡͝i̵̦̮̞ͩͩ͘ṅ̬̻̩̭̔̆̓̏̕ ̙̲̫̣ͮͥ̽́̆ͫͬ͐͢t̵̪̙̼͈̆̽ͬͬ̕h̢̨̭͙̻̭̝̣̤͆͌̂ͬ̀́e͎͔̘͎̝̩̲̤͌̊͞ ̨̱̞͓͍͖͆̽̋ͤ͒̊͊̔̆͢D̨̛̠̥̼̲͉̦ͯi̙̊ͭs̓҉̧͖̖̞̩͇ő̶͔͔̑r̨̖͕͌ͩͩͧͥͯ̕ḑ̞̩͈͓̺͖̤̜̑͑̾̃ͬe̡̩̭̲͛ͮ̽̄ͥ͋͘r̿ͪ҉̶̘̩͚̱̝́s͐ͤ͂̀͜͏͖̻͈̖͍ ̙̣̺̪̯̓̀ͅo̵̷̮̥̯̫̲̼̗͒̆͗̎̑͡f̣̤͉̟̜̹̘̺͒͗̊͜͢ ̝̲̜̗̪̍͑ͯ̒̚͞a̷͇͇̤͔̺̘̬̔͟͠ ̩̬͔̟̺̓̓̉̓l͓͖͕̜̜̖̈́̓̃̊̏̀̌̃͡o̧̯͚͋̈́ͣ͜n̓̚͜҉̬̘͈̱g̭͑͑͊ ̸̧̩͇͕̫̺ͦ́̀̍̍̂ͥ͋͐́a͗͋͗̐͒ͯͣ҉̣̳̭̯n͔̻̝͔̞̻̥̝͐͋͢d̥͈̮͆̉͜ͅ ̫̺̟̩͙̦͑͊ͨͥ̓̈́̃̀͘c͓̗̘̙̜͇̺̜̃̅̓ͨ́ȑͩ̇͋̄ͧ͐͏̮͙̞ũ͎̥̲̇̍ͪͪͪ̃ḛ̘̯ͨͤͪ̾ͭͮͦ͘l͗̃͆ͬͩ̀̇̚҉̷͕͓̗̻͚̻̫ ͔̌ͦ̍̾͌̎ͣW̶̩̙̮̗̲̮̳͇ͮ̚a̺̟̻̽̽͆͆̉r̴̦̭̙̣̗ͥ̅̒̐ͭ̿̇̉:̨̲͇ͤ̀̋͛̆ͮͣ̔͡ͅ
posted by cmyk at 5:58 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


This thread needs more newly registered sockpuppets.
posted by Good luck, Matt! at 6:01 PM on March 6, 2015 [38 favorites]


Yes; yes, it does.
posted by Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch Kids at 6:04 PM on March 6, 2015 [28 favorites]


Matt on the Hollywood Squares?

Circle takes the square! (I'm not calling you square, Matt.)

I couldn't decide what to listen to on such a momentous occasion. So I'm going with some Peter Allen, then a little Kristofferson, then we're gonna wind it up with some Bob Welch. (You all can listen along at home.) They're the only men worthy of you, Matt.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:06 PM on March 6, 2015


this is the image

Matt has a mullet?
posted by wallabear at 6:07 PM on March 6, 2015


Boo. Too lame!
posted by clicking the 'Post Comment' button at 6:12 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


The reign of our prophet is coming!
posted by draygan at 6:15 PM on March 6, 2015 [10 favorites]


PRAISE HIM
posted by dreigan at 6:16 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


PRAISE HIM
posted by dragan at 6:17 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


The sock prophet cometh!
posted by clicking the 'Post Comment' button at 6:18 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


matt vs the infinite abyss [img]
posted by thejoshu at 6:19 PM on March 6, 2015


PRAISE HIM
posted by draygun at 6:19 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


FREE QUONSAR

dang, was supposed to be orange
posted by frecklefaerie at 6:19 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


_ ______  _______  _______ _________ _______  _______ 
(  ____ )(  ____ )(  ___  )\__   __/(  ____ \(  ____ \
| (    )|| (    )|| (   ) |   ) (   | (    \/| (    \/
| (____)|| (____)|| (___) |   | |   | (_____ | (__    
|  _____)|     __)|  ___  |   | |   (_____  )|  __)   
| (      | (\ (   | (   ) |   | |         ) || (      
| )      | ) \ \__| )   ( |___) (___/\____) || (____/\
|/       |/   \__/|/     \|\_______/\_______)(_______/
                                                      
         _________ _______  _ 
|\     /|\__   __/(       )( )
| )   ( |   ) (   | () () || |
| (___) |   | |   | || || || |
|  ___  |   | |   | |(_)| || |
| (   ) |   | |   | |   | |(_)
| )   ( |___) (___| )   ( | _ 
|/     \|\_______/|/     \|(_)
                              
posted by jgirl at 6:20 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


← click the glowing bar click the glowing bar click the glowing bar
posted by grouse at 6:21 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


    __  ___     __        _______ ____           
   /  |/  /__  / /_____ _/ ____(_) / /____  _____
  / /|_/ / _ \/ __/ __ `/ /_  / / / __/ _ \/ ___/
 / /  / /  __/ /_/ /_/ / __/ / / / /_/  __/ /    
/_/  /_/\___/\__/\__,_/_/   /_/_/\__/\___/_/     
 c  o  m  m  u  n  i  t  y     w  e  b  l  o  g
posted by mazola at 6:25 PM on March 6, 2015 [10 favorites]


I'm just here for the free Quonsar

never mind it isn't orange.

posted by Songdog at 6:26 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


mathowie taught me Latin.
posted by semper ubi sub ubi at 6:27 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


Monsieur Caution: "In before Treaty of Westphalia."

Some of us have to work for a living, you know.
posted by Treaty of Westphalia at 6:27 PM on March 6, 2015 [27 favorites]




mathowie mathowie mathowie
posted by grouse at 6:37 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


This thread is very confusing on mobile.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 6:37 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


Does anyone have a recipe for taters and /hamburger?
posted by wenestvedt at 6:38 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Best Grilled Cheese Ever
That is clearly a melt, not a grilled cheese.

Best Grilled Cheese Ever That's Really A Grilled Cheese
(I have no measurements because I'm at work and Cook's Illustrated wants more money to access their content online)

In a food processor, process a thing of brie, a thing of delicious cheddar (at room temperature), a splash of wine or beer, and some minced shallots. You'll end up with a delicious cheese paste that both has flavor AND melts. Mix some mustard (the kind with the seeds) with some butter; spread on two pieces of whatever bread you think will be good for a grilled cheese. I'm not going to bother typing out the rest of the steps. Basically, make grilled cheese. I have faith in you. Let sit and cool a few minutes before devouring, or else the cheese will all splooge out.
posted by Weeping_angel at 6:38 PM on March 6, 2015 [15 favorites]


FREE QUONSAR

With purchase of any other QUONSAR of equal or greater value.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:39 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


         ____________________                   
        /                    \                                    
        !       B A N        !                                    
        !    H A M M E R     !                       
        \____________________/                       
                 !  !                                
                 !  !                                
                 L_ !                                
                / _)!                                
               / /__L                                
         _____/ (____)                               
                (____)                               
         _____  (____)                               
              \_(____)                               
                 !  !               
                 !  !               
                 \__/               
posted by mazola at 6:41 PM on March 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


___|______|______|______|______|______|______|______|______|______|______|______
=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>W
THE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE
K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+M
^=>WHAT^=>WHAT^=>WHAT^=>WHAT^=>WHAT^=>WHAT=>WHAT=>WHAT=>WHAT=>WHAT=>WWHAT=>WWHAT
*THE!FU*THE!FU*THE!FU*THE!FU*THE!FU*THE!FUTHE!FUTHE!FUTHE!FUTHE!FUTHEE!FUTHEE!FU
CK+MATTCK+MATTCK+MATTCK+MATCK+MATCKK+MATCK+MATC+MATC+MATC++MATC++MATCC++MATCC++M
?^=>WHA?^=>WHA?^=>WHA?^=>WA?^=>WA?^=>>WA?^>>WA?>>WA?>>WA?>>WWA?>>WWA??>>WWA??>>W
T*THE!FT*THE!FT*THE!FT*TH!FT*THHFT*THHHFT*HHHFTHHHFTHHHFTHHHFTTHHHFTTTHHHFTTTHHH
UCK+MATUCK+MATUCK+MATUCKMATUCCKMAUCCKMAAUCKMAAUCKAAUCKKAUCKKAUCKKKAUCCKKKAUCCKKK
T?^=>WHT?^=>WHT?^=>WHT?^>WHT??^>WHT?^>WWHT^>WWHT^WWHT^^WWHT^WWHTT^WWHHTT^WWHHTT^
AT*THE!AT*THE!AT*THE!AT*THE!AT*THEAT*THHEA*THHEA*HHEA**HHEA*HHEAA*HHEEAA*HHEEAA*
FUCK+MAFUCK+MAFUCK+MAFUCK+MAUCK+MAUCK++MAUK++MAUK+MAUKK+MAUK+MAUKK+MAAUKK+MAAUKK
TT?^=>WTT?^=>WTT?^=>WTT?^=>WT?^=>WT?^==>WT^==>WT^=>WT^^=>WT^=>WT^^=>WWT^^=>WWT^^
HAT*THEHAT*THEHAT*THEHAT*THEAT*THEAT*TTHEA*TTHEA*THEA**THEA*THEA**THEEA**THEEA**
!FUCK+M!FUCK+M!FUCK+M!FUCK+M!FUCK+!FUCKK+!UCKK+!UKK+!UUKK+!UKK+!!UKK++!!UKK++!!U
ATT?^=>ATT?^=>ATT?^=>ATT^=>ATTT^=>ATT^==>AT^==>AT==>ATT==>AT==>AAT==>>AAT==>>AAT
WHAT*THWHAT*THWHAT*THWHA*THWHHA*TWHHA*TTWHA*TTWHATTWHAATTHAATTHHAATTHHHAATTHHHAA
E!FUCK+E!FUCK+E!FUCK+E!FUK+E!FUK+E!FUKK+E!UKK+EUKK+EUKK+EUKK+EEUKK+EEEUKK+EEEUKK
MATT?^=MATT?^=MATT?^=MATT?=MATT?=MATTT?=MATT?=MTT?=MTT?=MTT??=MTT??=MMTT??=MMTT?
>WHAT*T>WHAT*T>WHAT*T>WHAT*>WHAT*>WWHAT*>WHAT*>HAT*>HAT*>HAAT*>HAAT*>>HAAT*>>HAA
HE!FUCKHE!FUCKHE!FUCKHE!FUCKHE!FUCKHE!FUCKE!FUCKE!FUCKE!FUCKE!FUCKE!FFUCKE!FFUCK
+MATT?^+MATT?^+MATT?^+MATT?^+MATT?^+MATT?^MATT?^MATT?^MATT?^MATT?^MATTT?^MATTT?^
=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>WHAT*=>W
THE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE!FUCTHE
K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+MATT?K+M
___|______|______|______|______|______|______|______|______|______|______|______
posted by limeonaire at 6:42 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Sorry guys, I dozed off. What're you all up to?
posted by does anyone read the posts down here? at 6:44 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


assbutt
posted by Pronoiac at 6:45 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


███╗   ███╗███████╗████████╗ █████╗ ███████╗██╗██╗  ████████╗███████╗██████╗                              
████╗ ████║██╔════╝╚══██╔══╝██╔══██╗██╔════╝██║██║  ╚══██╔══╝██╔════╝██╔══██╗                             
██╔████╔██║█████╗     ██║   ███████║█████╗  ██║██║     ██║   █████╗  ██████╔╝                             
██║╚██╔╝██║██╔══╝     ██║   ██╔══██║██╔══╝  ██║██║     ██║   ██╔══╝  ██╔══██╗                             
██║ ╚═╝ ██║███████╗   ██║   ██║  ██║██║     ██║███████╗██║   ███████╗██║  ██║                             
╚═╝     ╚═╝╚══════╝   ╚═╝   ╚═╝  ╚═╝╚═╝     ╚═╝╚══════╝╚═╝   ╚══════╝╚═╝  ╚═╝                             
                                                                                                          
██╗███████╗    ██╗    ██╗██╗  ██╗███████╗██████╗ ███████╗                                                 
██║██╔════╝    ██║    ██║██║  ██║██╔════╝██╔══██╗██╔════╝                                                 
██║███████╗    ██║ █╗ ██║███████║█████╗  ██████╔╝█████╗                                                   
██║╚════██║    ██║███╗██║██╔══██║██╔══╝  ██╔══██╗██╔══╝                                                   
██║███████║    ╚███╔███╔╝██║  ██║███████╗██║  ██║███████╗                                                 
╚═╝╚══════╝     ╚══╝╚══╝ ╚═╝  ╚═╝╚══════╝╚═╝  ╚═╝╚══════╝                                                 
                                                                                                          
███╗   ███╗ █████╗ ████████╗████████╗███████╗     █████╗     ██╗   ██╗██╗██╗  ██╗██╗███╗   ██╗ ██████╗ ██╗
████╗ ████║██╔══██╗╚══██╔══╝╚══██╔══╝██╔════╝    ██╔══██╗    ██║   ██║██║██║ ██╔╝██║████╗  ██║██╔════╝ ██║
██╔████╔██║███████║   ██║      ██║   ███████╗    ███████║    ██║   ██║██║█████╔╝ ██║██╔██╗ ██║██║  ███╗██║
██║╚██╔╝██║██╔══██║   ██║      ██║   ╚════██║    ██╔══██║    ╚██╗ ██╔╝██║██╔═██╗ ██║██║╚██╗██║██║   ██║╚═╝
██║ ╚═╝ ██║██║  ██║   ██║      ██║   ███████║    ██║  ██║     ╚████╔╝ ██║██║  ██╗██║██║ ╚████║╚██████╔╝██╗
╚═╝     ╚═╝╚═╝  ╚═╝   ╚═╝      ╚═╝   ╚══════╝    ╚═╝  ╚═╝      ╚═══╝  ╚═╝╚═╝  ╚═╝╚═╝╚═╝  ╚═══╝ ╚═════╝ ╚═╝
posted by Room 641-A at 6:46 PM on March 6, 2015 [29 favorites]


BOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBfNoRdBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOBoBoBoBoBoBOB
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`:::::::'___`::::!
!:::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::::'/_ _\`:::!
!:::|/ ~ \|`::::|/ ~ \|  `::|/ ~ \|'   `|/ ~ \|::'  |/ ~ \|::::'|/ ~ \|:::!
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Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S\ /Y/\.::./\S
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%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%%%%%%%%%%%XX%WiZ
And yeah, cut us some Slack.
posted by limeonaire at 6:46 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Your time has come, mathowie...

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                /  /_  _`\\            // `||
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                | |L====J |       / |/ |   ||
               /  /'-..-' /    .'`  \  |   ||
              /   |  :: | |_.-`      |  \  ||
             /|   `\-::.| |          \   | ||
           /` `|   /    | |          |   / ||
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        |       `\_|    |/      ,.__. \ |  ||
        /                     /`    `\ ||  ||
       |           .         /        \||  ||
       |                     |         |/  ||
       /         /           |         (   ||
      /          .           /          )  ||
     |            \          |             ||
    /             |          /             ||
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   \ `-._       |           /              ||
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    |||| ) |__/             |              ||
    |||| `.(                |              ||
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`-.___,-.      .-.        ___,'            ||
         `---'`   `'----'`



 
posted by jazon at 6:47 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


METAFILTER?
MORE LIKE,
GET-A-FILTER
IF YOU ASK ME
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:48 PM on March 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


holy shit i didn't even know about this MeTa and Matt just corrected a typo in a post i just made *swoon* and then emailed me I think I have the vapors
posted by chococat at 6:50 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


I'm crying ASCII tears.
posted by bendy at 6:52 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


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posted by Sticherbeast at 6:53 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


I like to watch this and this when responsibilities are over and I can just get drunk and have fun.
posted by Drinky Die at 6:54 PM on March 6, 2015


Okay, fine, someone else posted a butt first, but mine is better., because come on.

(I hope this works)


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posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:54 PM on March 6, 2015


                     .--------------.
                 .---'  o        .    `---.
              .-'    .    O  .         .   `-.
           .-'     @@@@@@       .             `-.
         .'@@   @@@@@@@@@@@       @@@@@@@   .    `.
       .'@@@  @@@@@@@@@@@@@@     @@@@@@@@@         `.
      /@@@  o @@@@@@@@@@@@@@     @@@@@@@@@     O     \
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  |@@@@@    O    `.-./  .        .  @@@@\__/@@@@@   @@@  |
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 |@ @@@@ .  @  @    `    @            @@      . @@@@@@    |     
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 |  .     @   @ @       o              @@   o   @@@@@@.   |       
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   \      @@@    @@@@@@       .                   o     /
    \    @@@@@   @@\@@    /        O          .        /
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      \      .     . \.-.---                   `--'  /
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         `.    o     / | `           O     .     .'
           `-.      /  |        o             .-'
              `-.          .         .     .-'
                 `---.        .       .---'
                      `--------------'
posted by Mitheral at 6:54 PM on March 6, 2015


GOD DAMN IT
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


Your time has come, mathowie...

Well, on the plus side, he now gets to hang out with Manuel Calavera, Glottis, and Meche.
posted by SpacemanStix at 6:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


  _______                     __     ______                     ______               __ 
 |   _   .----.---.-.-----.--|  |   |   _  \.-----.--.--.--.   |   _  \ .---.-.--.--|  |
 |.  1   |   _|  _  |     |  _  |   |.  |   |  -__|  |  |  |   |.  |   \|  _  |  |  |__|
 |.  _   |__| |___._|__|__|_____|   |.  |   |_____|________|   |.  |    |___._|___  |__|
 |:  1    \                         |:  |   |                  |:  1    /     |_____|   
 |::.. .  /                         |::.|   |                  |::.. . /                
 `-------'                          `--- ---'                  `------'                 
                                                                                        
posted by mazola at 6:56 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]

That is not flagged which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may FIAMO.
One day when the stars come right again the Elder Mods will awake from their dreamless retirement, return from those queer nethermost regions of the web where favorites have never favorited, read out the FAQ of Ages, set the eternal queue, delete every thread, and utter forth such hideous non-Euclidean Markov text deletion reasons that every user will disable their account in horror and fright.
posted by XMLicious at 6:58 PM on March 6, 2015 [10 favorites]


Matt never corrects *my* typoes.
posted by uosuaq at 6:59 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Is this a good time to discuss all those comments you deleted of mine over the years?
posted by mazola at 7:01 PM on March 6, 2015


.------..------..------..------.     .------..------..------.     .------..------..------..------.     .------..------..------..------.
|W.--. ||H.--. ||A.--. ||T.--. |.-.  |T.--. ||H.--. ||E.--. |.-.  |F.--. ||U.--. ||C.--. ||K.--. |.-.  |M.--. ||A.--. ||T.--. ||T.--. |
| :/\: || :/\: || (\/) || :/\: ((5)) | :/\: || :/\: || (\/) ((5)) | :(): || (\/) || :/\: || :/\: ((5)) | (\/) || (\/) || :/\: || :/\: |
| :\/: || (__) || :\/: || (__) |'-.-.| (__) || (__) || :\/: |'-.-.| ()() || :\/: || :\/: || :\/: |'-.-.| :\/: || :\/: || (__) || (__) |
| '--'W|| '--'H|| '--'A|| '--'T| ((1)) '--'T|| '--'H|| '--'E| ((1)) '--'F|| '--'U|| '--'C|| '--'K| ((1)) '--'M|| '--'A|| '--'T|| '--'T|
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posted by double block and bleed at 7:02 PM on March 6, 2015


BLINK!
posted by Drinky Die at 7:03 PM on March 6, 2015


This is now a recipe thread.
posted by ormondsacker at 7:04 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


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posted by wombatman at 7:04 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


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 ..;:::"""'   ;;:":::::::::::::::::""'.;:::; '' 
 :::"'      ;;"",:::::::::::::::::":;.;::::::              ,... 
 "::.   ,.;'"...::::::::::::::"""":;::'::::::;         ,  ;::::.. 
  '':...'"  ;::';::::::::;:":" ;;;:::;;;:;::::;       ;:::::""::: 
   ':"' ,..::'.;:::::"::"::;'  :"":::::::::::::;.....;:.;':   '"' 
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      ":;  ,;""",;"'.;: ;";:        '"""":::""   ,:::::::::: 
       '"::::.;::" ;:: ;;;:'                     :::"  ""';' 
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                '""""'                           '"""' 
posted by jazon at 7:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


 .----------------.  .----------------.  .----------------.  .----------------.  .----------------.  .----------------.  .----------------. 
| .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. |
| |  _______     | || |  _________   | || |  _________   | || |     _____    | || |  _______     | || |  _________   | || |  ________    | |
| | |_   __ \    | || | |_   ___  |  | || | |  _   _  |  | || |    |_   _|   | || | |_   __ \    | || | |_   ___  |  | || | |_   ___ `.  | |
| |   | |__) |   | || |   | |_  \_|  | || | |_/ | | \_|  | || |      | |     | || |   | |__) |   | || |   | |_  \_|  | || |   | |   `. \ | |
| |   |  __ /    | || |   |  _|  _   | || |     | |      | || |      | |     | || |   |  __ /    | || |   |  _|  _   | || |   | |    | | | |
| |  _| |  \ \_  | || |  _| |___/ |  | || |    _| |_     | || |     _| |_    | || |  _| |  \ \_  | || |  _| |___/ |  | || |  _| |___.' / | |
| | |____| |___| | || | |_________|  | || |   |_____|    | || |    |_____|   | || | |____| |___| | || | |_________|  | || | |________.'  | |
| |              | || |              | || |              | || |              | || |              | || |              | || |              | |
| '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' |
 '----------------'  '----------------'  '----------------'  '----------------'  '----------------'  '----------------'  '----------------' 
posted by fatbaq at 7:09 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


This is now a recipe thread.

(Googles "treats of Westphalia"...)
posted by Songdog at 7:10 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


WHAT IS THIS SLIDY THING PEOPLE ARE DOING WITH THE MOVING BOXES I AM LOSING WHAT LITTLE IS LEFT OF MY MIND
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:10 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]



                         nnnnnnHHHHHHHHHHHHHnnnnnn
                   nHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHn
                nHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHn
             nHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHn
           nHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHn
          HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
        nHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHn
       HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
      HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
     HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH^^~"    ~H~    ~~^^HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:^                    ^HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
   nHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:                       ^HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHn
   HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH::                        ^HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:                   .      HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH|:                          |HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 HHHHHHHHHHHHHH%%%%:::H|: ~~~~----- -      ------  |:::%%%%HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 HH~              ~HHHH|:   ~~  -----    - ---     |HHHH~              ~HH
                   HHHH|:\\\.                 ./// |HHHH
     ____________   HHH|: \\\\\\\\. / \ .////////  |HHH
    /____________\   HH|:=-- ----  \.  : (_@_> .   |HH
   /%%%%%%%%%%%  %\   H|:   ~-- ~~:|.  :   ~ -'   :|H "A toast!
  |%%%%%%%%%%%%%  %|  ||:        .:|.  :         :'||    To my good,dear
   \=---%%%%%%%' %/   \|:       .:/.   '\        : |/      friend..."
  /:   _)%%%%%'.--.    |:.      :(.     .)\      : |
 ( _-=%%%%%%'.%(  )    |:|     /::::._.-~  \       |
  (    :    )%~/~~|    ::|    / /.____    . \    : :
  :--------~|     :    `:::  (  \%========/\       '
  (__:_) |% |(   /    /%%::\     ~~~~----'  \     '=\
   (  : )|% |   /    /H%%%::\                    '==%\
    `---'|% | -~ ---(%%H%%%:::.\           /   .===%==)---
    |  _.%%.%.|      \%%H%%%%n:::._______.::.-===:%==/
    |  ~~~~~~~|       \%%DrS%%%%~---------~=====%%==/      DrS
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:11 PM on March 6, 2015 [13 favorites]


There's fivebux that'll never get spent. And honestly, it's a great sock puppet name.
posted by boo_radley at 7:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


3..2..1...
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:14 PM on March 6, 2015


This thread has me as butthurt as the time I wondered if I should eat a three-day old a declawed cat named Special Snowflake on the border of Israel and Palestine, so I shall DTMFA and go see a therapist.
posted by 4ster at 7:15 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


WAIT. WHAT?

Ghidorah: "Best Grilled Cheese Ever
[snip]
Ingredients
1/4 pound pulled pork

[snip]
four slices cheese (suggestions: smoked cheddar, pepper jack)
[snip]
place slice of cheese on pulled pork"

Suh, this aggression can not, must not, and will not stand. You insult the noble pig, the majestic cheese, the culinary sciences, chefs everywhere (even Guy Fieri!), the entirety of the lower Mid Atlantic AND all of the upper South, the butcher, the baker, the cheesemaker, knives, the noble tree, the ignoble tree, the smoke, the rennet, Porky AND Petunia, backwoods smokers, US-Japan relations, ASCII pigs, the purest incarnation of dignity, me, my cats, and you yourself when you lay such horror down on the digital plain.

Have you no shame?

I need to lie down.
posted by julen at 7:17 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


                                                                                                                                                             
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                                                                                                                                                                                         GlassGiant.com 
posted by a humble nudibranch at 7:17 PM on March 6, 2015


PRIME THE PORT!
posted by clavdivs at 7:18 PM on March 6, 2015


but pulled pork grilled cheese is a thing of beauty
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:18 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


Gawd that's big, no so humble now^^
posted by a humble nudibranch at 7:18 PM on March 6, 2015


I'll shit twice and die if this actually works:




posted by double block and bleed at 7:20 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Rats
posted by double block and bleed at 7:21 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


I wonder whether anyone's tried this before. Fortune favors the bold!

Hi Matt!
posted by Songdog at 7:22 PM on March 6, 2015 [23 favorites]


So now you'll shit once and lapse into a brief coma?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:22 PM on March 6, 2015



                                           $"   *.      
               d$$$$$$$P"                  $    J
                   ^$.                     4r  "
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                  P   $                  e" $
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        "*==*""                             ^"*==*""   Gilo94

Matt racing!
 -------- __@      __@       __@       __@      __~@
 ----- _`\<,_    _`\<,_    _`\<,_     _`\<,_    _`\<,_
 ---- (*)/ (*)  (*)/ (*)  (*)/ (*)  (*)/ (*)  (*)/ (*)
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 7:22 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


I told you I can't go Matt racing until I get new hydrofoils for my old one!
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:25 PM on March 6, 2015


☝️
posted by clavdivs at 7:25 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


  o-o  o-O-o o    o--o o   o   o-o o--o o-o         O  o    o    
|       |   |    |    |\  |  /    |    |  \       / \ |    |    
 o-o    |   |    O-o  | \ | O     O-o  |   O     o---o|    |    
    |   |   |    |    |  \|  \    |    |  /      |   ||    |    
o--o  o-O-o O---oo--o o   o   o-o o--o o-o       o   oO---oO---o
                                                                
                                                                
o   o o   o     o    o-O-o o--o o--o     o   o  o-o  
|\ /|  \ /      |      |   |    |        |\  | o   o 
| O |   O       |      |   O-o  O-o      | \ | |   | 
|   |   |       |      |   |    |        |  \| o   o 
o   o   o       O---oo-O-o o    o--o     o   o  o-o  
                                                     
                                                     
o   o  o-o  o--o  o--o 
|\ /| o   o |   | |    
| O | |   | O-Oo  O-o  
|   | o   o |  \  |    
o   o  o-o  o   o o--o
posted by bleep at 7:27 PM on March 6, 2015 [10 favorites]


Weeping_angel: In a food processor, process a thing of brie, a thing of delicious cheddar (at room temperature), a splash of wine or beer, and some minced shallots.

That is clearly a wine and shallots melt.


Best caramelized onions melt:

Parmesan (after everything has cooked for a while)
Butter
Sliced sourdough
Coarse mustard
Butter
1/2 a wedge of Laughing Cow "cheese"
Chipotle powder
Smoked paprika
Shredded Cheddar
Shredded Gouda
Shredded Machego
1/2 a wedge of Laughing Cow "cheese"
Butter
Caramelized onions
Sliced sourdough
Butter
Parmesan (after everything has cooked for a while)

It's nice if you finish the frozen caramelized onions in a little bit of butter in the pan just before putting together the sandwich.


You may think I'm joking about the Laughing Cow but it's creamy and lovely. Goat cheese would work too, I suppose.
posted by mountmccabe at 7:31 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


I keep hearing people talk about ASCII Art, but all I see are perfectly valid regexes and some Perl.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:33 PM on March 6, 2015 [16 favorites]


Now we're into a naming fight over grilled cheese vs melt? I think we need to get languagehat in here to give us a nice talk about prescriptive language.

Also, cheese on pulled pork is delicious. Transgressive, but delicious. Trangrecious.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:33 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


GRILL ME A CHEESE.
posted by cellar door at 7:35 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


My final request is for people to find some really good ascii art and post it here, wrapped in PRE tags so we can all enjoy them.

You know, I'm really tired of you saying that those of us who can't do great ascii art are totally worthless and should fuck off. I'm outta here.
posted by jaguar at 7:36 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]



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posted by pyramid termite at 7:36 PM on March 6, 2015 [10 favorites]


I'm back!
posted by jaguar at 7:36 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]



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posted by heurtebise at 7:37 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


 
o______, o______, o______, o______,     o______, o______, o______, 
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posted by snuffleupagus at 7:38 PM on March 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


I signed in on my phone, against my own rules, just for this longboat.

Good luck, Matt. We're all counting on you.
posted by lysdexic at 7:39 PM on March 6, 2015


(peeps... I think he's signed off...)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:41 PM on March 6, 2015


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posted by double block and bleed at 7:41 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


And there he goes, riding off nobly into the sunset:

posted by churl at 7:41 PM on March 6, 2015 [94 favorites]


Thanks Matt, for everything here.
posted by SLC Mom at 7:41 PM on March 6, 2015


Can you give us a clue about your new gig so we can - not stalk you but you know, just know what you're up to...exactly.
posted by bendy at 7:42 PM on March 6, 2015


bendy
posted by jaguar at 7:46 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


See also.
posted by Songdog at 7:47 PM on March 6, 2015


Oh man, you guys, I just woke up from the worst dream, it was in the future, in 2015, and the world was all weird and strange, and you were there... and you were there... and so were you. But I'm so happy to be back here in 2006 again, even if it is in black and white. *sniff*
posted by 1f2frfbf at 7:47 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


Didn't he say on the podcast that it's at Slack? He's gonna help make it phenomenally successful so that they can sell it for a few gagillion dollars and make a third iteration of Game Neverending/Glitch
posted by NoraReed at 7:49 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


*shakes head sadly*

Do you not see how the cheese on bbq is already warping your reality? Making up words, smacking your lips, being satisfied ... so so sad.

...

That said, there's just enough brie left over to pop some of it on some bread with assorted other cheeses that may be found in the refrigerator and grill it up. Is five cheeses too much?
posted by julen at 7:50 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


no
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:51 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Alright, everybuddy, it's time to drop the Recipe Thread and start the Alphabet Thread.

Just remember, I have dibs on the W (for Wendell) and F (for foop).
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:52 PM on March 6, 2015




Yes please Matt make them do another Glitch that would be an excellent thing.
posted by winna at 7:57 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


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@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@''+##@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
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posted by jessamyn (retired) at 7:59 PM on March 6, 2015 [89 favorites]


Flagged.

(as fantastic!)
posted by mazola at 8:00 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh my god - I could not tell what that was for the longest time! (And now I'm sorry I figured it out..)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 8:02 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


What is she holding?
posted by jgirl at 8:04 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Take your pick.
posted by jgirl at 8:05 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


  __________________          _-_           
   \________________|)____.---'---`---.____ 
                ||    \----._________.----/ 
                ||     / ,'   `---'         
             ___||_,--'  -._                
            /___          ||(-              
                `---._____-'   

Thanks for everything Matt, as you boldly go...
posted by bitmage at 8:07 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


What is she holding?

He is holding a chicken.

'Holding' is not the only applicable verb.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 8:10 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


The chicken lover strikes again.
posted by double block and bleed at 8:12 PM on March 6, 2015


I just saw this happen while watching Adventure time and it made me think of you, Matt, and this thread

posted by bleep at 8:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


rhymes with Chicken Plucker...
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:14 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Wiccan Hucker?
posted by Tevin at 8:17 PM on March 6, 2015


Oooo wait, no I'm an idiot.

Wiccan Trucker.

Derp.
posted by Tevin at 8:18 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Shit, if this is gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes… !
posted by mazola at 8:19 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]




Tucker: The Man and His Chicken
posted by Chrysostom at 8:20 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


The short-lived TV production company partnership of Dobie Gillis's Dwayne Hickman and F Troop's Forrest Tucker.
Hickman/Tucker.

That's my story and I'm Hickman/Tuckering to it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:24 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


To anyone trying to read this on a phone: I have now checked out this thread via desktop and it makes NO MORE SENSE than it did in weirdly-line-wrapped mobile version. FYI.
posted by Lexica at 8:29 PM on March 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


 .----------------.  .----------------.  .----------------.  .----------------.  .----------------. 
| .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. |
| |  ________    | || |  _________   | || | ____    ____ | || |  _________   | || |      __      | |
| | |_   ___ `.  | || | |  _   _  |  | || ||_   \  /   _|| || | |_   ___  |  | || |     /  \     | |
| |   | |   `. \ | || | |_/ | | \_|  | || |  |   \/   |  | || |   | |_  \_|  | || |    / /\ \    | |
| |   | |    | | | || |     | |      | || |  | |\  /| |  | || |   |  _|      | || |   / ____ \   | |
| |  _| |___.' / | || |    _| |_     | || | _| |_\/_| |_ | || |  _| |_       | || | _/ /    \ \_ | |
| | |________.'  | || |   |_____|    | || ||_____||_____|| || | |_____|      | || ||____|  |____|| |
| |              | || |              | || |              | || |              | || |              | |
| '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' |
 '----------------'  '----------------'  '----------------'  '----------------'  '----------------' 
posted by mazola at 8:30 PM on March 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


Theory: MetaFilter is unstaffed right now - there's a massive party a-happenin' in Portland..
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 8:30 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Now I can make all those FPPs I've always wanted…
posted by mazola at 8:32 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


  _______ _           _                         _        __            _    _                            _     _      _              _ 
 |__   __| |         | |                       (_)      / _|          | |  (_)                          | |   (_)    | |            | |
    | |  | |__   __ _| |_    __ _ _   _ _   _   _ ___  | |_ _   _  ___| | ___ _ __   __ _    __ _    ___| |__  _  ___| | _____ _ __ | |
    | |  | '_ \ / _` | __|  / _` | | | | | | | | / __| |  _| | | |/ __| |/ / | '_ \ / _` |  / _` |  / __| '_ \| |/ __| |/ / _ \ '_ \| |
    | |  | | | | (_| | |_  | (_| | |_| | |_| | | \__ \ | | | |_| | (__|   <| | | | | (_| | | (_| | | (__| | | | | (__|   <  __/ | | |_|
    |_|  |_| |_|\__,_|\__|  \__, |\__,_|\__, | |_|___/ |_|  \__,_|\___|_|\_\_|_| |_|\__, |  \__,_|  \___|_| |_|_|\___|_|\_\___|_| |_(_)
                             __/ |       __/ |                                       __/ |                                             
                            |___/       |___/                                       |___/                                              
posted by double block and bleed at 8:33 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


How the hell did Gary and the rest of you figure out how to post that white ascii art on this gold background?
posted by davidjmcgee at 8:34 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


How the hell do you have a gold background?

</progress?

posted by double block and bleed at 8:37 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


db&b: Oh god are you one of those weirdos who sees blue and black?
posted by Pronoiac at 8:38 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


I thought long and hard about this. if I only ever get to post one image on metafilter, what is the one image I want to be forever remembered for?



and it's totally this one.

which I'm posting as a link because I'm sad now because the images in this thread were A LIE and that would be some seriously baroque ASCII art. why am I SILENCED ALL MY LIFE? why don't MY FEELINGS matter? why won't you LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY?

I have so many BANANAS to say on so many topics.
posted by byanyothername at 8:39 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


nope
posted by double block and bleed at 8:40 PM on March 6, 2015


¿ǝɹǝɥ uʍop sʇuǝɯɯoɔ ǝɥʇ pɐǝɹ ǝuoʎuɐ sǝop
posted by double block and bleed at 8:43 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


ǝdou
posted by byanyothername at 8:45 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Oh boy, here we go.
posted by desuetude at 8:49 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


moderator in the streets

comedy themed sock puppet in the sheets.

e: Oh boy!
posted by boo_radley at 8:51 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Yeah... why AREN'T we allowed images?

NEW META!
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 8:52 PM on March 6, 2015


joseph conrad is fully awesome: "Yeah... why AREN'T we allowed images?

NEW META!
"

You mean many, many very old metas.
posted by double block and bleed at 8:56 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


           /'._     _,
             \   ;__.'  }
         (`-._;-" _.--.}'
         /_'    /`    _}     _.--"""-.
           `.   \_._.;     .'         \
             '-.__ /      /            |
     jgs      _/  `\      \            /
             ^`   ^`       '._       .'
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:56 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


It's a Pinocchio thing. If your img link is brave, truthful, and unselfish, The Blue Fairy will turn it into an embedded image.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:57 PM on March 6, 2015 [16 favorites]


Seriously there is no one here but us mice - and my Amazing Spiderman 2 movie is somewhat disappointing... this thread is meant to keep us busy but LET'S START SOME REAL ANARCHY!!
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 8:59 PM on March 6, 2015


(WAKE UP SHEEPLE, they *want* to control your forms of 'acting up', etc.)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 9:00 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


                              ,.---.   
                    ,,,,     /    _ `.
                     \\\\   /      \  )
                      |||| /\/``-.__\/
                      ::::/\/_
      {{`-.__.-'(`(^^(^^^(^ 9 `.========='
     {{{{{{ { ( ( (  (   (-----:=
      {{.-'~~'-.(,(,,(,,,(__6_.'=========.
                      ::::\/\ 
                      |||| \/\  ,-'/\
       jgs           ////   \ `` _/  )
                    ''''     \  `   /
                              `---''
... that'll have to do for now ... I'm still looking for ASCII art for a lightly soiled lederhosen ...
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:01 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


I'd hit it!
posted by phoque at 9:01 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Are we going to have a special thread tomorrow where we try to drive Cortex crazy?

Cos if not, y'all, don't hold back here.
posted by cmyk at 9:01 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


*Every* thread is drive-Cortex-crazy thread.
posted by uosuaq at 9:03 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


"Are we going to have a special thread tomorrow where we try to drive Cortex crazy?"

What would that be? I mean, how would that best be achieved?
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 9:03 PM on March 6, 2015


ok, fine, the next time I'm down in your godforsaken state, I'll buy you and cortex your drink of choice.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:04 PM on March 6, 2015


That chicken has sharp knees. Would not hit it.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:06 PM on March 6, 2015


Hey! I just want to sing Matt a song.
posted by valetta at 9:07 PM on March 6, 2015


Hey? I just want to sing Matta song. Won't takelong.
posted by valetta at 9:13 PM on March 6, 2015


MetaTalk? That's where I'm a Viking!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM~MMOMMN?+M+MM+NNMMMMM,MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN++M?N+?IN?N??+D?N?$+8?MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMZ?IM?M?++M++M?++O????D++M?+MO$MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDIM++M+?M+?+O?+D?++M??O=??M?+M?+M?M?MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMND?++$O?+M?++=??8?++Z+?+M?++I+++M?+N+=M?MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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MMMMMMMMMMDZMM++M+?+M?++$?++N?+++7?++M?+++M?++=D?+M?+N??M.MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMOMMM++N+?+M+++N++++??++++?+++?+++O+?++I?++II+O??MMM:MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMM~ZMM=+?Z?+II?++N?++++?+++++++++++++++++++++++++???MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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MMMMMMMIMMM++N+?+++?++I+++++++O........N+++++++I........M??MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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MMMMMMMMMM?+++++++?++++++++++I..MM... ..$++++++M.........M?MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMN++++D?++++++++++++++O..........O+++++++M.......M??8MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMM$+++++++++++++++++++++++M......M7++MD8NMN?+MMMMO???OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMI++?=++++++++++++++++++++++II++++++++++++7D++++++??Z=MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMM+??=+++++++++++++++++++++++++M+++++++++?M+++++++??NIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMM=+?+++++++++++++++++++++++++7M$+ND++???M?+++++++??Z:MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMM~M+?++++++++++++++++++++++N++++?8NMMM??+++++++++??8+MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMN??++++++++++++++++++?M+++++?M??????++++++++++???MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM??+++++++++++++M+++M+++++?DI$$???++++++++++???MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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MMMMMMMMMMMMMD,~~~~~~7MD+++++++++M++++++++++++++?M??I~MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM~=~~~~~~~~~IMMD++M8M++++++++++++?Z+N+MM~MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMZ=M~~~~~~~~~~~~~=M,~~+MM+++++++++M?M?Z++++MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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MMMMMMMM=I~~~~~~~~:,M7~====M?~~~~~~~~~~~~IO??$????M??+M?+NMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM,
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MMMMMMMMMZ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~M:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+DO?~M=~~~?+??MM?NMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM:ZMM
MMMMMMMMMM=~~~~~~~~~~~~:==~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+??+M?+~~~~~~?+?+?++MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?DMMM
MMMMMMMMD$+=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+????M?+?~~~~~~??+++??MMMMMMMMMMMM:ZMMMMM
MMMMMMMZ:,M??=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=?+?+ZM????~~~~~~~++?+??MMMMMMMMMMM+DMMMNDM
MMMMMM?:,~~M+?=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+?????MI+++?+~~~~~~~~?++?+?MMMMMMMMM7MMMM8IOM
MMMMMMN:~~~~D???=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=+?+???+M?????=~~~~~~~~~++?+??$OMMMMM:OMMMM$~8MN
MMMMMM,,~~~~~=M?++?+~~~~~~~~+++??++??+MI??+++~~~~~~~~~~~~??++?+M+8MM=DMMMMI:8MMM
MMMMMM:~~~~~~~~M???++?++?+++?+??????MI++??++~~~~~~~~~~~~~++++??Z+NM?NMMMN+,8MMMO
MMMMMM,~~~~~~~~=~8D+?????+??????8MO+???++=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+?+???7+NMMMM8:.OMMM$+
MMMMMM:~~~~~~~~~~~=~7MMO7I8MMMO++??+?+~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?+++??M+NMMMZMMOMMMO=?
MMMMD=+MM+~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?++++?D~+MM7MMZMNMO?++
MMMMM?????=ZMMI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~????+??=?D?MM7MMM8=+++
MMMMMI?????????+=$MMD=~=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+?????+NM~+MMIMMM8?++++
MMMMMMM7?????????????+=+8MMMO+:~~~=~~~~~~~~~~~==+$$Z8MMMM8MMM$????~+M?MMMN+++++?
MMMMMM..,DM$????????????????????++======??77I===M+I777I777N???????++INMMDI=+++++
MMMMMM. ,,,,:,$MMZ??????????????????????????????M+77777777M??????Z~~?~MM?+?++??+
MMMMM8~.,,,,,,,,::::,=DMMNZ?????????????????????M+77777777MDMMO::M~~?8M$=+++++?=
MMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::,:::::~=??7ODD8D8D8Z$$MMMMMMMM8=~~~~:::MMMDMZ++++++?++
MMMMMMM..,:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::,:::::,,::,:::::,:,~~~~7++?OI=++++++++O
MMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,~~~~M+++??N++++++~ZM
MMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,~~~:?++++??M++?++IMM
MMMMMMMM~M..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:~~~M+?MD+?M~++++IDMM
MMMMMMMMMMM..:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::~:M=++IM+??+++++8MMN
MMMMMMMMMMDZ.,:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::~~M?Z++?M++?++?+7MMM$
MMMMMMMMMMMM..:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,~::8+?M++?M++++++7NMMO+
MMMMMMMMMMM=O..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,:::MM+?M=?M++++++=DMMN++
MMMMMMMMMMMMM..:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:~:N::MMMO=++?+++++7MMM7=+
MMMMMMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:,::~~::~~MMD?++++++++INMMZ++?
MMMMMMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,,,:~::::::,:,,,,,,,,,:,,,::,:~::::MM?++++++?+=8MMN++??
MMMMMMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,::~:::~~=~~~~~~:::~~~~~M,:,,,,~:~:MO=+++++?++IMMN$++??
MMMMMMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,:~::~::$,~:~:~~~:7MM+,..:,,,,,~~::M?++++++++?DMMO+++??
MMMMMMMMMMM=M..,,,,,,,,,:,:~::~~:MMM~++=MM...,,,:,,,,,,,:::~M+?++++++=ZMMN?++???
MMMMMMMMMMMNZ..,,,,,,,,,:,:~:::~+IMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,,,~~~M++++++++?NMMZ=+????
MMMMMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,,:~:~~:8MMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,,,:::8++++++?+ZMMD?++????
MMMMMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,:,:~::~~OMMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,,,,~~::+++?++=7NMM7++????+
MMMMMMMMMMMM..,,,,,,,,,,:,:~~:~~=MMMMMMMMN..,,,,,,,,,,,,:~~:~~++++?=8MM8=+?????+
MMMMMMMMMMM~..,,,,,,,,,,:::~~~~~~MMMMMMMN..,,,,,,,,,,,,,::~:~M+++++IMMM7=+????++
MMMMMMMMMMM..:,,,,,,,,,,,:::::~:~=MMMMMMM..,,:,,,,,,:,,,:~~:~+I++?+OMMO++?????++
MMMMMMMMMMZ..:,,,,,,,,,,:~~~~~~~::+MMMMM~MN.:,,,::,,:,::~:NMZMMM?+IMMM7+?????+++
MMMMMMMMMMMNM.:::,:,,:,:~~:~~:::8MMMMMMMM?777MMMMMMMMMMDI777777777OMMD=+?????+++
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MMMMMMMMM:?????????I77777777777777I777INM???????????????????????????I7I7IM??+?++
MMMMMMMMM????????????????????????????I7777MM???????????????????????????777M+++++
MMMMMMMMMMMMM?I?????????????????????????II7IZMMM7???????????????????????77?+++++
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMDM8?????????????????????????777IMMM:D=8MMMMNO$7?+++??IZNMM8?++++++
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMNI?????????????????????77$$M?MM8?++++?++++?MMMZ=?????++?+++
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIMMMD7??????????????OMMMOMM$+?+++++?++ZMMN?+?????+??+++
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM=MMN~MMMMMMM~MMN+++++?+++=?NMMO+?????+++++++
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM$MMZMMMMMMMM7MMO=++++++++=7MMM7+?????+++++++
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM:NMM+MMMMMMMMDMMI++++?++++=8MMN++???I++++++?+
posted by cmyk at 9:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


A celebratory dinosaur gif, for you. May it be given modly animation:

posted by CrystalDave at 9:14 PM on March 6, 2015 [69 favorites]


Wow, I love you guys.
posted by yhbc at 9:14 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Come on guys. Can you keep it down a bit? I just wanna
posted by valetta at 9:14 PM on March 6, 2015


For the record, I have no complaints regarding the moderation of this thread.
posted by mazola at 9:15 PM on March 6, 2015


Did someone say yatta song?
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:18 PM on March 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


Cortex, can I have the mike?
posted by valetta at 9:19 PM on March 6, 2015


No one said that, cortex. Literally *no one* said that.
posted by uosuaq at 9:20 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


HI I KNOW YOUR NOT MY DOCTOR BUT SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT "DOWN THERE" I HAVE PICS THX
posted by CatButtRealities at 9:21 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]




With the old man finally neutralized, cortex the killer addresses the members: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN!!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:33 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


I totally approve of gifs, even if you have to link 'em. In fact the ONLY time I ever look at the comments at a Gawker Media site is io9's "Friday GIF Party", and here's why (which is totally irrelevant to anything)...

uh huh.

yup.

who?


what?

hey!

well...

nope.

zoom.

narrrr...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:33 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


RPM Dirty Danglers Chrome 70693
$6.66

let's put this on the end cap.
posted by clavdivs at 9:36 PM on March 6, 2015


So. Any chance I can get this comment in comic sans? Y'know, just for old time's sake?
posted by 1f2frfbf at 9:41 PM on March 6, 2015 [16 favorites]


And corty... (can I call you corty, we've known each other poorly for years...) that Yatta Song lost me when it declared Wendy's Dave Thomas > SCTV's Dave Thomas. After that, not even the Colin Mochrie could save it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:44 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


ROFL!
posted by mazola at 9:44 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


* knock knock*

Check!
Check wunnn
Thwtoo
Free
.
.
.
Is this thing on?
posted by valetta at 9:51 PM on March 6, 2015


It is SO on.

also, ROFL? ROLF!
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:53 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


I love these free-for-all clusterfucks.
posted by double block and bleed at 9:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Where's Matt? Is Matt here? Someone get Matt.
posted by valetta at 9:56 PM on March 6, 2015


MATT

MATT

MATT


MATT

MATT

MATT

MATT

MATT
posted by uosuaq at 9:58 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


Louder.
posted by valetta at 10:00 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


MATT! MATT! MATT! MATT! MATT! MATT! MATT!

(it's standing ovation time, people)
posted by uosuaq at 10:01 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]



        
        
        


                 

                 


            
            
            


            
            
            
posted by Gary at 10:03 PM on March 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


Fuck yeah!
posted by valetta at 10:06 PM on March 6, 2015


Abusing mod powers for no good reason is kind of fun, I'll miss it.

posted by mathowie (retired) at 10:10 PM on March 6, 2015 [40 favorites]


in a just world where there were royalties for ascii art, joan stark (jgs) would be SO rich.
posted by cj_ at 10:11 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


No good reason is the best reason.
posted by mazola at 10:11 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


You will always have mod powers. You can stop by and abuse them anytime.
posted by pb (staff) at 10:12 PM on March 6, 2015 [14 favorites]


Although that is terrifying.
posted by pb (staff) at 10:12 PM on March 6, 2015 [25 favorites]


Mod me Matt, mod me all night long.
posted by valetta at 10:12 PM on March 6, 2015


I hope ReplyAll does a podcast and tracks down whoever -jgs is, and we find out they crouch over an old typewriter with reams of paper creating new ASCII artworks.
posted by mathowie (retired) at 10:13 PM on March 6, 2015 [16 favorites]


Is that how it's done? I thought they wedged those pictures in a photocopier.
posted by valetta at 10:16 PM on March 6, 2015


jgs found
posted by not_on_display at 10:16 PM on March 6, 2015 [7 favorites]


I'm almost off-shift for the last time. Everyone, it's been grand and fun, but you should probably stop flagging every comment in this thread for laughs because it's kind of a bear now.
posted by mathowie (retired) at 10:21 PM on March 6, 2015 [29 favorites]


must...not...flag...mathowie...
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:22 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Good night and good luck.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:26 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


🎉
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 10:26 PM on March 6, 2015


i like to eat paste
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 10:27 PM on March 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


i like turtles
posted by not_on_display at 10:28 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


*strummm*

Hey hey, Matt Haughey
I wrote you a song ...

And it goes a little sumthin' like this:

*twanga twanga*

He's l33t p3t1t3
The kinda M4tt
You'd ever wanna m3t4

[curtsey]

[[[[blows kisses]]]]
posted by valetta at 10:29 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Matt.

Thanks, man.

If you ever make out to anyplace I am near - all the beers are yours for the asking.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 10:29 PM on March 6, 2015


Migs came for a port and LEFT!
[craneshot: pan left/slow fade]
posted by clavdivs at 10:30 PM on March 6, 2015


\(^▽^)/             Thanks Matt & best of everything to you!
posted by mazola at 10:30 PM on March 6, 2015


1#
posted by clavdivs at 10:31 PM on March 6, 2015


I heard there was a recipe thread!

Swedish Teacakes

1 cup soft butler
½ cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour

Cream butter and sugar. Beat in egg and vanilla.
Measure flour and stir in.
Drop rounded teaspoon of batter in each greased tiny muffin cup.
Press batter over bottom and up around sides – to ¼ inch thick.
Chill in refrigerator.
Heat oven oven to 325 degrees F.
Fill hollows with Almond Filling.
Bake 25-30 minutes, makes 24.

ALMOND FILLING
Beat two eggs until light and foamy. Gradually add ½ cup sugar and blend well.
Mix in 1 ¼ cups chopped or slivered almonds, plus ½ tsp almond flavouring


Does this mean we can talk cookbooks on fanfare?
posted by chapps at 10:34 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Soft butler?
posted by mazola at 10:35 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Thanks Matt, for a great retirement blow-out.
posted by jabo at 10:35 PM on March 6, 2015


boom!
posted by The Whelk at 10:38 PM on March 6, 2015


MetaFilter: I love these free-for-all clusterfucks.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:40 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Vote #1 Matthew Haughey!
posted by benito.strauss at 10:42 PM on March 6, 2015


y'all are nuts.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 10:42 PM on March 6, 2015


but thanks for something wonderful Matt!
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 10:42 PM on March 6, 2015


.==================================================================.
||    ( )              ( )                ( )              ( )    ||
|'================================================================'|
||                                                                ||
||                                                                ||
||                                                                ||
||                                                                ||
||                                                                ||
||                                                                ||
||                                  .::::.                        ||
||                                .::::::::.                      ||
||                                :::::::::::                     ||
||                                ':::::::::::..                  ||
||                                 :::::::::::::::'               ||
||                                  ':::::::::::.                 ||
||                                    .::::::::::::::'            ||
||                                  .:::::::::::...               ||
||                                 ::::::::::::::''               ||
||                     .:::.       '::::::::''::::                ||
||                   .::::::::.      ':::::'  '::::               ||
||                  .::::':::::::.    :::::    '::::.             ||
||                .:::::' ':::::::::. :::::      ':::.            ||
||              .:::::'     ':::::::::.:::::       '::.           ||
||            .::::''         '::::::::::::::       '::.          ||
||           .::''              '::::::::::::         :::...      ||
||        ..::::                  ':::::::::'        .:' ''''     ||
||     ..''''':'                    ':::::.'                      ||
||                                                                ||
||                                                                ||
||                                                                ||
||                                                                ||
|'================================================================'|
||                                                                ||
||  _______ _______ ___ ___ _______ ___ ___  ___ ______  _______  ||
|| |       |   _   |   Y   |   _   |   Y   )|   |   _  \|   _   | ||
|| |.|   | |.  l   |.  |   |.  1___|.  1  / |.  |.  |   |.  |___| ||
|| `-|.  |-|.  _   |.  |   |.  |___|.  _  \ |.  |.  |   |.  |   | ||
||   |:  | |:  |   |:  1   |:  1   |:  |   \|:  |:  |   |:  1   | ||
||   |::.| |::.|:. |::.. . |::.. . |::.| .  |::.|::.|   |::.. . | ||
||   `---' `--- ---`-------`-------`--- ---'`---`--- ---`-------  ||
||                                                                ||
'=============================================================LGB=='
posted by St. Hubbins at 10:43 PM on March 6, 2015


I haz a sad. Thanks Matt, and best of luck to you and yours!
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 10:53 PM on March 6, 2015


Thanks again, Matt. May the road rise to meet you, and may a judo roll spare your clavicle when your fucking bike tries to kill you.

(seriously, learn how to roll. a broken clavicle sucks, even though you get a cool souvenir.)
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:54 PM on March 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


.
posted by 724A at 11:01 PM on March 6, 2015


What a party!

Matt, thanks for everything, from the bottom of my heart. Seriously. My life would have been very different without Metafilter these last 15 years.
posted by jokeefe at 11:02 PM on March 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


Luckily, the only collarbone break I've suffered was at birth (it happens all the time to kids, one of mine is bent at a crazy angle from the delivery break) and I've been lucky in every bike crash to spare my collarbone (did lose a wrist a couple years back, which is another obvious injury).

Thanks all, I've officially signed off!
posted by mathowie (retired) at 11:07 PM on March 6, 2015 [94 favorites]


Also: Miguel Cardoso? Holy everything that I hold dear.
posted by jokeefe at 11:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]




Good luck Matt! We're all counting on you.

Wait.
posted by jokeefe at 11:08 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


Good luck Matt! We're no longer counting on you.
posted by cmyk at 11:10 PM on March 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


You stand relieved, you beautiful son of a bitch.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:14 PM on March 6, 2015 [52 favorites]


wait wait as your last act mod pls delete cortex
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:16 PM on March 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


shitcocks
posted by Sebmojo at 11:17 PM on March 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


{hug}
posted by benito.strauss at 11:17 PM on March 6, 2015


And like that -- *poof* -- he's gone.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:19 PM on March 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


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posted by Mitheral at 11:51 PM on March 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


The 16 year reign of terror is finally over. Hooray!
posted by item at 11:55 PM on March 6, 2015


Thanks for everything, I also wouldn't be the same if you had not set this up eons ago.
posted by rider at 12:39 AM on March 7, 2015


 photo Screen Shot 2015-03-07 at 08.42.15_zpscp41b8go.png

Miguel has been watching us this entire time...waiting for his moment.
posted by vacapinta at 12:47 AM on March 7, 2015 [36 favorites]


Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


Thannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkyooooooouuuuuu.


Goooooooooooooooooodluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

::sniffs::
posted by Faintdreams at 1:09 AM on March 7, 2015


Live long and prosper, Matt. You are why we have a nice thing.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:48 AM on March 7, 2015 [7 favorites]


...waking up to a mattless world *snif*. Only pixels left...sigh. [MANY pixels, it seems looking up above...]
posted by Namlit at 2:00 AM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


posted by mathowie (retired) at 11:07 PM on March 6
and so the mathowie era ended on March 6, 2015, a date that shall live in infamy.
posted by Cranberry at 2:18 AM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Welcome to the afterMatt.
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:25 AM on March 7, 2015 [6 favorites]


Is it too late? Or are we heading to the after-after-Matt?
posted by adrianhon at 2:47 AM on March 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yes, we have officially entered the post-Matazoan era. Singularities for everyone!
posted by Dumsnill at 2:49 AM on March 7, 2015


  ___________________________________
/ Actually it's about ethics in forum \
\ moderation.                         /
  -----------------------------------
         \   ^__^ 
          \  (oo)\_______
             (__)\       )\/\
                 ||----w |
                 ||     ||
    
posted by PenDevil at 3:37 AM on March 7, 2015 [14 favorites]


FTYF:
  ___________________________________
/ Actually it's about ethics in forum \
\ moderation.                         /
  -----------------------------------
        \
         \
            .-._   _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
 .-''-.__.-'00  '-' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '-.
'.___ '    .   .--_'-' '-' '-' _'-' '._
 V: V 'vv-'   '_   '.       .'  _..' '.'.
   '=.____.=_.--'   :_.__.__:_   '.   : :
           (((____.-'        '-.  /   : :
                             (((-'\ .' /
                           _____..'  .'
                          '-._____.-'
posted by Too-Ticky at 4:10 AM on March 7, 2015 [8 favorites]


Matt woke with a start. He checked his phone. There was no Metafilter. There were no Google results for "metafilter". It had all been a dream. He breathed a deep sigh of relief as if a battleship had been taken off his shoulders. The nightmare was finally over.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:16 AM on March 7, 2015 [45 favorites]


This thread is making me laugh and cry! It's the perfect farewell! Bye, Matt!
posted by liquorice at 4:18 AM on March 7, 2015


You survived the onslaught! Congratulations, Matt!
posted by joedan at 4:21 AM on March 7, 2015


*pours out bottle of elephant piss*
posted by leotrotsky at 5:29 AM on March 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


Wow, that was some party last night. *nurses hangover*
posted by Melismata at 5:39 AM on March 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


What now, people? Where do we go? Do we go? Do we stay?

Who do we want to be? Is that even possible? Can we do it?

DO WE NEED A LEADER? Or a beer. Beer is almost as good as cheese.

Cheese or leader.

Help me out here. I'm confused.
posted by Combat Wombat at 5:46 AM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


ctrl-f portobello

No hits. I am disappoint.
posted by octothorpe at 6:12 AM on March 7, 2015


Cheese or leader.


Would you accept a *grilled* cheese?
posted by Ghidorah at 6:29 AM on March 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is a good place you have created here, mathowie. Go exploring!
posted by Dumsnill at 6:49 AM on March 7, 2015


I thought about it, but instead shoved the bleu cheese into three eggs and poured it over fried bacon and mushrooms. Looked like a couple of omelette sandwiches.

ladylike burps
posted by infini at 6:49 AM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


> Now we're into a naming fight over grilled cheese vs melt? I think we need to get languagehat in here to give us a nice talk about prescriptive language.

A grilled cheese sandwich has cheese and bread and butter or equivalent and maybe some tasty flavorings if you roll that way (me, I keep it simple). It does not have pulled pork. I yield to no one in my love of pulled pork, but that is its own thing.

/descriptivist in language, prescriptivist in grilled cheese

This is the best MeTa thread in years!
posted by languagehat at 7:02 AM on March 7, 2015 [19 favorites]


|         ACHIEVMENT UNLOCKED         |
|   Complete MetaFilter on Hard Mode. |
|                100G                 |

posted by EndsOfInvention at 7:07 AM on March 7, 2015 [42 favorites]


As cortex awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a responsible adult.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:10 AM on March 7, 2015 [107 favorites]


Would you accept a *grilled* cheese?

I'm not grilling you a cheese!

On preview, /me considers converting a picture of a roach into ASCII, nopes out of googling roach pictures and ever using nope as a verb again.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:14 AM on March 7, 2015


Argh, I had a very nice bottle of champagne last night and read a book last night. Went no-internet. I could have been in this thread with champagne! I need a time machine.
posted by Ruki at 7:28 AM on March 7, 2015


This thread is the best thread.
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bobbobboBboBBobbOBBOBBOBbobboBBOBBOBBOBBOBBobbOBBobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbob
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bobbobbobBOBBOBboBBObbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbob
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posted by rmd1023 at 7:39 AM on March 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


Well, sir, there's nothin' on earth like a genuine bona-fide electrified six-car monorail! What'd I say?
posted by Drinky Die at 7:43 AM on March 7, 2015


.______________________________________________________________________________.
[x] Comments on 19 | MetaFilter                                                |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------++
|   __  ___    __       _____ ____        ====================================||
|  /  |/  /__ / /____ _/ __(_) / /____ ____  =================================||
| / /|_/ / -_) __/ _ `/ _// / / __/ -_) __/    %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%||
|/_/  /_/\__/\__/\_,_/_/ /_/_/\__/\__/_/     .::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::||
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|                                                                             ||
|  July 14, 1999                                                              ||
|                                                                             ||
|    _Cat-Scan.com_ is one of the strangest sites I've seen in some time.     ||
|    I have no idea how these people got their cats wedged into their         ||
|    scanners, or why.                                                        ||
|    posted by _mathowie_ at 3:03 PM PST  [_trackback_]                       ||
|                                                                             ||
|        does anyone read the posts down here?                                ||
|        posted by _phooey_ at _1:50_PM_ PST on October 13                    ||
|                                                                             ||
|        i do.                                                                ||
|        posted by _pnevares_ at _3:12_PM_ PST on November 17                 ||
|                                                                             ||
|        we all do.                                                           ||
|        posted by _mathowie_ at _5:39_PM_ PST on November 24                 ||
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posted by Westringia F. at 7:57 AM on March 7, 2015 [44 favorites]



posted by safetyfork at 8:33 AM on March 7, 2015


> As cortex awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a responsible adult.

Congrats on emerging from your chrysalis & all, but dude, have you noticed your legs? I mean all of them?
posted by Westringia F. at 8:41 AM on March 7, 2015 [6 favorites]


What are you, talking about, I—

*looks down*

Oh god! Oh god oh no! I'm wearing sensible trousers!
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:44 AM on March 7, 2015 [31 favorites]


And Matt is wearing Slacks.
posted by taz (staff) at 8:45 AM on March 7, 2015 [29 favorites]


We are now in the era of Enpantsed Cortex.
posted by rtha at 8:46 AM on March 7, 2015 [7 favorites]


Not even a kilt? tsk.
posted by ardgedee at 8:55 AM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Are you wearing the Wrong Trousers?
posted by Melismata at 8:57 AM on March 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


And Matt is wearing Slacks.

Matt is the Jim Rockford of moderators: he'd rather point the ban hammer than have to use it, and he keeps it hidden in a cookie jar.
posted by Room 641-A at 9:05 AM on March 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


first post!
posted by lalochezia at 9:16 AM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


did you guys know that 'mathowie' is an anagram for 'i just pooped in the coldfusion database thing'
posted by dmd at 9:21 AM on March 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


SWEATER STUFFERS

Come at me, bro.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:34 AM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


                  /'\
                 /
                /                 ,
             c-'                 /
            /'-._         ,____,' .-'''-.
       .-'.// \  '-;-========,"-,'       '
     ,`   /,   \_//\       ,/  (  '- *)   )
    (   ./  )   {,}========'===='- '      ,
     ,     ,   \/               ', -muse.
 _____'-.-`_______________________'-..-'____
 
A recliner for your retirement Matt!
posted by Iteki at 9:50 AM on March 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


Cortex, you need a tie. Make it white, for a truly professional look.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:51 AM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Today I go to voodoo donuts for the changing of the mod. God speed, le roi est retiré, vive le roi!
posted by boo_radley at 10:09 AM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


guys i just finished my taxes more than a month early, what is happening to me
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:56 AM on March 7, 2015 [9 favorites]


you're growing up?

runs away, fast

posted by infini at 10:57 AM on March 7, 2015


Oh god! Oh god oh no! I'm wearing sensible trousers!

It's not too late, just tear them a bit. Stick it to the man! It's the height of fashion in Kirkwall.
posted by homunculus at 10:58 AM on March 7, 2015


guys i just finished my taxes more than a month early, what is happening to me

It's like we don't even know you anymore, man.
posted by nubs at 11:21 AM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


You're getting a refund is my guess
posted by boo_radley at 11:22 AM on March 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


I seriously considered posting a literal "look at these assholes" post to the blue for mathowie to delete. I decided that the risk of actually getting banned was not zero though.
posted by ctmf at 12:19 PM on March 7, 2015


guys i just finished my taxes more than a month early, what is happening to me

Now see, this...THIS...is what happens when people start cutting their hair!! Next thing you know you'll be wearing polo shirts and taking up golf.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:38 PM on March 7, 2015


I think an emergency beer meetup is the only thing that will save you, Cortex.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:40 PM on March 7, 2015


I think an emergency beer meetup is the only thing that will save you, Cortex.

Just as long as he makes it for late tomorrow afternoon/early evening. Too busy today!
posted by curious nu at 1:09 PM on March 7, 2015


(MAKE THIS THE LAST COMMENT. NO, REALLY. I CRAVE THAT SORT OF MEANINGLESS CLAIM TO FAME AND IT MUST BE IN ALL CAPS.)

Also, whoa. ColdChef and Migs. Where's the rest of 9622?
posted by readymade at 1:11 PM on March 7, 2015 [5 favorites]




I am enjoying this thread, but it has made me all the more certain that the image tag should be used only in the stuntiest of stunt posts, and then only by highly trained people who have good alibis and plausible deniability.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:23 PM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Fuck. Just finished the thread and I feel the same way I do after reading an Erowid bad trip report. Awesome.
posted by Elmore at 1:27 PM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


I can't believe I missed this thread while it was happening. I need a text alert for "Shenanigans Going On" on MetaFilter.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:34 PM on March 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


omg.png
posted by holgate at 1:39 PM on March 7, 2015


Got as far as "up with which you will not put" and passed out for several hours. Did I miss anything?
posted by Splunge at 1:40 PM on March 7, 2015


Well, there were some things down with which we did get.
posted by boo_radley at 1:47 PM on March 7, 2015 [11 favorites]


You are an amazing human being, boo_radley.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:56 PM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Dammit! I was gonna throw a "Shit-kawk" into the mix but, well, done got beat to it...
posted by From Bklyn at 1:59 PM on March 7, 2015


Thanks Matt. Enjoy your new adventures!
posted by Miko at 2:04 PM on March 7, 2015


I miss all the best parties :-(
posted by dg at 2:17 PM on March 7, 2015


Stepped into MeTa for the first time in a long time and dropped my jaw at the news: not that Matt is leaving, but that MiguelCardoso made a post!
posted by painquale at 2:32 PM on March 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


dg: "I miss all the best parties :-("

This is more of a wake than a party.
posted by 724A at 2:46 PM on March 7, 2015


It's both. Those are best (of each).
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:51 PM on March 7, 2015


Well, a wake is just a party where the guest of honour is present in spirit only. So this is even better, because the guest of honour is actually here. Well, here in digital form which, until I see evidence otherwise with my own eyes, I consider is the only way he exists anyway.
posted by dg at 3:02 PM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


he lives in my computer, just like the rest of you people
posted by NoraReed at 3:11 PM on March 7, 2015 [14 favorites]


Yeah, I don't know how they get all those people in my computer, or why.
posted by dg at 3:17 PM on March 7, 2015 [4 favorites]


This is more of a wake than a party.

To our favorite man of the wire... thanks for everything.
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:46 PM on March 7, 2015


I couldn't let a Migs post go by without popping in.

Best wishes for you in your retirement, mathowie. You built an amazing community that attracted a lot of very cool people whom I am proud to call my friends.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:24 PM on March 7, 2015 [16 favorites]


Yeah, something compelled me to check on MeFi tonight . . . There was a disturbance in the force. . . . this was why. Matt, thanks for germinating/grooming/nurturing this place and sharing it with everyone.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:52 PM on March 7, 2015


I'm wearing sensible trousers!

ya wanna fish wit dem pants?
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 6:38 PM on March 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


all the best matt, this site has bought a lot of joy to me over the years
posted by 404 Not Found at 6:44 PM on March 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Is this the part where we drag Cortex kicking and screaming to the top of the pyramid, offering him as blood sacrifice to the blood god welcome Cortex to the electroshock therapy room his new role as leader of the secret cabal of chicken fuckers our erudite and polite discussion community?
posted by double block and bleed at 6:53 PM on March 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


Thanks Matt. I never really appreciated your jawline before today and I feel like I've somehow missed out.
posted by swift at 7:28 PM on March 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


\MetaFilter: You're wrong. No, you're wrong!
posted by Miko at 8:05 PM on March 7, 2015


I don't know how this thread on Comic Sans can be 8 years old. It really feels like yesterday. Probably the high point of my Metafiltrations.

In addition to everything else, thanks for that and thanks for all the little things, Matt.
posted by GuyZero at 8:56 PM on March 7, 2015


Huh? What'd I miss? (I was, uh, watching something.)
posted by Ceiling Cat at 9:37 PM on March 7, 2015 [13 favorites]


Aha. Is this the safe place where the Australian members get to use their "colourful language" and "dry wit" that the American members always feel so super comfortable with?
posted by taff at 10:02 PM on March 7, 2015 [6 favorites]


taff: "Aha. Is this the safe place where the Australian members get to use their "colourful language" and "dry wit" that the American members always feel so super comfortable with?"

Sure, but a lot of us are asleep (or should be.) Daylight Saving time starts in about half an hour. That's when they steal a perfectly good hour from us, promising to return it in November, doing God knows what to it in the meantime.
posted by double block and bleed at 10:35 PM on March 7, 2015


"Sniff. I can't believe he's really gone."

"Who, Matt or Miguel?"

"Whatever."
posted by Lynsey at 11:20 PM on March 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


Daylight Saving time starts in about half an hour. That's when they steal a perfectly good hour from us, promising to return it in November doing God knows what to it in the meantime.

It's alright, us Queenslanders have it covered. We use it to stop things from fading.
posted by h00py at 12:17 AM on March 8, 2015 [3 favorites]






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posted by yaymukund at 12:35 AM on March 8, 2015 [11 favorites]


Daylight saving confuses the cows anyway. Disrupting thousands of businesses, schools and families for several months of the year is clearly far more important than not having confused cows and faded curtains.
posted by dg at 12:36 AM on March 8, 2015


It's worse when the cows fade and the curtains get confused. Cf New Zealand.
posted by taff at 12:55 AM on March 8, 2015 [6 favorites]


(cue "Laugh-In" music)

CONFUSED CURTAINS HAVE HANG-DOWNS

(/"Laugh-In" music)
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:31 AM on March 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


575th!
posted by y2karl at 8:14 AM on March 8, 2015


I'm here! The party is still going on isn't it?

Guys?

Guys?

Guys?

Guys?

Dammit.

*weeps*

posted by arcticseal at 9:21 AM on March 8, 2015 [5 favorites]


This is going to eventually escalate to shitting elephants...

Eventually...
                  ___.-~"~-._   __....__
                .'    `    \ ~"~        ``-.
               /` _      )  `\              `\
              /`  a)    /     |               `\
             :`        /      |                 \
        \`-._|`  .-.  (      /   .            `;\\
         `-. `--'_.'-.;\___/'   .      .       | \\
      _     /:--`     |        /     /        .'o \\
     ("\   /`/        |       '     '         /  O :`;
     `\'\_/`/         .\     /`~`=-.:        /      ``
       `._.'          /`\    |      `\      /(    O
                     /  /\   |        `Y   /  \
                    /  /  Y  |         |  /`\  \   O
                   /  |   |  |         |  |  |  | OOO
                  "---"  /___|        /___|  /__|OOOOOO
                         '"""         '"""  '"""
posted by Behemoth at 9:34 AM on March 8, 2015 [5 favorites]


Jesus, I stepped away from being a nerd for 2 days and this happened?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:04 AM on March 8, 2015 [6 favorites]


What the hell is Google going to make of this thread in the future?
posted by spitbull at 12:23 PM on March 8, 2015


I HATE TOM SERVO'S NEW VOICE.



Did I do this right?
posted by wittgenstein at 12:45 PM on March 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


It *is* weird getting an automated email from cortex.
posted by infini at 12:51 PM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Could be worse, could be email from your own cortex.
posted by arcticseal at 1:28 PM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Or worse yet, your fridge.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:31 PM on March 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


Or from faded cows.
That's always depressing.
posted by taff at 1:33 PM on March 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


I always flip out this time of year because MeFi time is obviously calculated based on Oregon (USA) time and not on world (GMT) time so being weirded out by missing Matt's retirement announcement kind of makes it metaphorical now...


(we don't spring ahead for almost another full month)

voilà pour ton petit déjeuner du dimanche Matt, direct de Paris
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`@L_,   "-~ `--"~-a,           `C.  ~""O_    ._`@
 q@~'   ]P       ]@[            `Y=,   `H+z_  `a@
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    aa~'   ],  .a@'                qqL  ), ./~
    @@_  _z~  _d@[                 .V@  .L_d'
     "~@@@'  ]@@@'        __      )@n@bza@-"
       `-@zzz@@@L        )@@z     ]@@=%-"
         "~~@@@@@bz_    _a@@@@z___a@K
             "~-@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~" 
                `~~~-@~~-@@~~~~~'
posted by fraula at 1:48 PM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Is that a croissant or a cocoon?
posted by ursus_comiter at 2:05 PM on March 8, 2015


Little did I know, as a young and innocent teenager, sitting down on those Trash 80s for the very first time, far longer ago than I care to count, that one day, I would be alive, to see an ASCII croissant posted on my screen, all the way from down there.


What daylight, she said, from the Arctic.
posted by infini at 2:06 PM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Is that a croissant or a cocoon?

Viking helmet.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:08 PM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


with buttocks
posted by you must supply a verb at 2:17 PM on March 8, 2015


infini, you live north of the arctic circle? Or are you just up there for work?
posted by ursus_comiter at 2:19 PM on March 8, 2015


I too am in this thread.
posted by Jofus at 2:20 PM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Whoa. Who turned MetaTalk's clock back to 2002?
posted by eyeballkid at 2:24 PM on March 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


I did!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 2:26 PM on March 8, 2015 [25 favorites]


ursus comiter I'm approx 700 km south of teh circle at the moment, on a secondhand couch, with my feet up on a cushion that's resting on one of those IKEA thingies that doubles as a storage box and contemplating getting up to pull on the beanie for a quick nip out to smoke. Why do you ask?
posted by infini at 2:35 PM on March 8, 2015


To quote James Joyce from that Ulysses book:

"Between the Saxon smile and yankee yawp. The devil and the deep sea.
—He will have it that Hamlet is a ghoststory, John Eglinton said for Mr Best's behoof. Like the fat boy in Pickwick he wants to make our flesh creep.
List! List! O List!
My flesh hears him: creeping, hears.
If thou didst ever...
—What is a ghost? Stephen said with tingling energy. One who has faded into impalpability through death, through absence, through change of manners. Elizabethan London lay as far from Stratford as corrupt Paris lies from virgin Dublin. Who is the ghost from limbo patrum, returning to the world that has forgotten him? Who is King Hamlet?
John Eglinton shifted his spare body, leaning back to judge.
Lifted.
—It is this hour of a day in mid June, Stephen said, begging with a swift glance their hearing. The flag is up on the playhouse by the bankside. The bear Sackerson growls in the pit near it, Paris garden. Canvasclimbers who sailed with Drake chew their sausages among the groundlings.
Local colour. Work in all you know. Make them accomplices".

There you have it: the MeFi ethos.

Or, as we say in canny Portugal: uau! (ooh aah woo) or, if you're American and in a hurry, wow!

I hereby coin the word Mattmosphere for everything that is breathable and wonderful on the spidery web.

*pangs of saudade (look it up and weep)*
posted by MiguelCardoso at 2:36 PM on March 8, 2015 [21 favorites]


I just have a thing for the arctic and antarctic is all.
posted by ursus_comiter at 2:40 PM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


croissant or a cocoon?
Nah, it's that plo chop guy again.
posted by mono blanco at 2:45 PM on March 8, 2015


I would like a croissant now. And let me tell you, it's difficult to get one, on a Sunday evening, even if one's 900km south of the circle instead of 700, and a wee nudge to the west from where that IKEA thingie is parked. Scandinavia and croissants don't often mesh.
posted by Namlit at 2:49 PM on March 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


*pangs of saudade (look it up and weep)*

Aaaaand now I have the title for my autobiography.
posted by ColdChef at 2:55 PM on March 8, 2015 [5 favorites]


*nips back in with a cookie, half an orange and some ginger/lemon tea*

*pangs with saudade for croissant*
posted by infini at 3:02 PM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Saudade
Dodgy Sow
posted by not_on_display at 3:57 PM on March 8, 2015


Re-Joyced.
posted by clavdivs at 4:08 PM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


I went to an actual wake on Friday after work: it was for the patriarch of a big Irish-American family, and the room was stuffed with people and noise. Some was rueful, some was joyous, and of course there was grief. But what it was, was life and love. I thought about this news while the podcast played for the whole drive to the funeral home, and I agree that this thread is a wake, too -- also loud and sad and noisy.

Matt, thank you for all this. For gathering together this crazy mix of people, who make up a particularly raucous province of the Internet with low ($5) -- but fiercely-defended -- walls. And thank you for lashing yourself to the tiller all these years.

Your second-best achievement is finding your own Band Of Merry (Wo)Men, and giving MetaFilter another decade or three: you loved something so you set it free, and I think you'll be delighted where it goes.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:44 PM on March 8, 2015 [9 favorites]


"Computers are like a bicycle for our minds" I hope some of the extra time you may or may not have is on your real bike, job well done here.
posted by specialk420 at 8:51 PM on March 8, 2015


So this thread, it vibrates?
posted by readymade at 9:38 PM on March 8, 2015


Wait, I can understand mobile breaking half the things here, but why does Comic Sans font display as some serif or Times font on mobile?
posted by halifix at 10:32 PM on March 8, 2015


Vibrates? I'm having a Derby.
posted by clavdivs at 10:50 PM on March 8, 2015


Damn it I miss all the fun.
posted by Twain Device at 5:15 AM on March 9, 2015


Who's mathowie ?
posted by Pendragon at 5:45 AM on March 9, 2015


He used to work in the mail room.
posted by xqwzts at 6:34 AM on March 9, 2015 [10 favorites]


It turns out I'm just no fun.
posted by stoneweaver at 6:35 AM on March 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


octothorpe: "ctrl-f portobello

No hits. I am disappoint.
"

Referenced here and here.

posted by Chrysostom at 6:45 AM on March 9, 2015


Miguel I believe that you should self link - saudade
posted by adamvasco at 10:50 AM on March 9, 2015


The irony of that being tagged broken link has me seeking out the Laphroig...
posted by infini at 11:00 AM on March 9, 2015


Godspeed Matt. Beware of badgers.
posted by digitalprimate at 11:48 AM on March 9, 2015


May you always know where your towel is.
posted by Justinian at 3:40 PM on March 9, 2015


Who's mathowie ?

He's just this guy, you know?
posted by maryr at 3:54 PM on March 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


xqwzts: He used to work in the mail room.

I heard he was a window washer who just climbed in.
posted by brundlefly at 3:57 PM on March 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Metafilter.com is one of the strangest sites I've seen in some time. I have no idea how Matt got these mefites wedged into his scanner, or why.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 1:07 AM on March 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


The Sun now doesn't rise until after 8 am. That sort of makes it feel like Scandinavia here. I do have croissants available to me.

Don't worry, Scandinavians! Soon you'll have your 23.5 hours of sunlight a day. I can't help you with your croissant problem, though.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:26 AM on March 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


The ASCII art in this thread makes my vintage iPhone4 blow up, so now that I have been able to sit at my proper PC for more than 5 minutes undisturbed by Peanuts #1 & #2, a very belated hat tip to Mr. Math Owie, mad props to our new overlord and saviour cortex and salutations to all the old skool 9622.
posted by romakimmy at 5:16 AM on March 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


(hooting noises recede)
posted by boo_radley at 9:16 AM on March 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


Thirty days in
Nawwait





















THIRTY DAYS IN THE HOLE!
posted by clavdivs at 7:58 PM on March 10, 2015


Blue Oyster Cult will work also.
posted by clavdivs at 7:59 PM on March 10, 2015


FROM THE FUNHOLE OF TIME COMES THIS CHILLING GLANCE INTO A FUTURE NOW MADE ALL TOO POSSIBLE:

CORTEX: Let me have your attention for a moment. So you're making LOLCat front-page posts, bitching in MetaTalk about questions in AskMetafilter, some son of a bitch who needs a lawyer or a doctor, some broad who needs to dump or be dumped, and so forth. Let's talk about something important. Are they all here?

JESSAMYN: All but delmoi.

CORTEX: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important. Put that mushroom down. Portobello mushrooms are for Mefites only. You think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mathowie. And I'm here on a mission of mercy.
posted by boo_radley at 9:49 AM on March 11, 2015 [5 favorites]


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