Seeking annual sandwich listing July 28, 2015 11:08 PM   Subscribe

I'm trying to round up a link I'm pretty sure I saw here. It was a list of sandwich recipes, one per year, going back at least several decades if not more (and inadvertently illustrating some now-obsolete food trends — e.g. english-muffin-based sandwiches were A Thing in the 70s or 80s). My recollection is that the sandwiches on the list were winners of a national contest that was held annually for some time. Googling is finding lots of clickbait-y IF YOUR STATE WAS A SANDWICH WHAT SANDWICH WOULD IT BE? / SEVENTY-TWELVE HIPSTER SANDWICHES YOU MUST EAT BEFORE YOU DIE lists, but not the retro contest-winning sandwich listing I remember. Am I crazy or did this thing really exist?
posted by nebulawindphone to MetaFilter-Related at 11:08 PM (113 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

Little known fact: one of Aristotle's lost works was a treatise on sandwiches - for which he is generally considered the father of the philosophy of the sandwich (although there were pre-socratic commentators whose opinions should not be ignored, especially Heraclitus). I fully expect this thread to descend into a hateful, bile-flecked shouting match between the adherents of differing schools of sandwich philosophy, with various arguments being put forward for and against the inclusion of kebabs, dogs-hot, jam-filled donuts &ct. in the category of sandwich. However, I should like to point out at this early stage in our proceedings that the most correct and fruitful philosophic starting point is the phenomenology of sandwich, as practiced by Husserl, and I would refer participants to his celebrated treatise on the subject, Über den Begriff der Doppelschnitte.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 3:49 AM on July 29, 2015 [25 favorites]


I'm here to defend the honor of English muffins with all of my blood and treasure.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:41 AM on July 29, 2015 [8 favorites]


is it this site (national sandwich month blogs entries for years gone past on right hand side) from this thread?

not really "several decades", but the best i could find on google.
posted by andrewcooke at 4:44 AM on July 29, 2015


I'm here to defend the honor of English muffins with all of my blood and treasure.

that just so has to be an american, and not an english(oh look american is gender neutral but englishman isn't)person speaking.
posted by andrewcooke at 4:48 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Yes. (Insert jingoistic USA chant here.)
posted by double block and bleed at 4:52 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


(i just meant i don't think they're much loved in their home country)

(well, no, also, i guess the entire statement is lacking a certain reserve).
posted by andrewcooke at 4:54 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


although there were pre-socratic commentators whose opinions should not be ignored, especially Heraclitus

Well, I think you have to balance the oft-quoted comment of Heraclitus that "You cannot eat the same sandwich twice, other and other condiments flow" with Promenades and Zeno's assertion that, in fact, you cannot eat a sandwich at all.

Thales, of course, is famous for the story that he once fell into a well while eating a sandwich, and Pythagoras supposedly stopped someone eating a sandwich believing that the meal was a reincarnated friend. So, yeah, the early days of Sandwich Philosophy were pretty complex.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:07 AM on July 29, 2015 [13 favorites]


IF IT'S OPEN-FACED IT'S NOT A SANDWICH. SO WHY IS IT CALLED AN "OPEN-FACED SANDWICH"?!?
posted by anotherpanacea at 5:26 AM on July 29, 2015


Because it sounds better than "bread with stuff on it".
posted by Going To Maine at 5:31 AM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


All of you need to calm down and slice open a biscuit or toast some rye and put whatever you have between the two slices.

Aristotle's lost work was rediscovered by none less than The Earl of Sandwich probably by examining entrails.

SO WHY IS IT CALLED AN "OPEN-FACED SANDWICH"?!? You just didn't notice the eyes. I always pick them out.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 5:36 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


IF IT'S OPEN-FACED IT'S NOT A SANDWICH. SO WHY IS IT CALLED AN "OPEN-FACED SANDWICH"?!?

My mother recently made an open-faced ice cream sandwich, an affront to all that is good and right in this world. We argued with her but she just pretended to be the Swedish Chef.
posted by jeather at 5:46 AM on July 29, 2015 [17 favorites]


anotherpanacea: IF IT'S OPEN-FACED IT'S NOT A SANDWICH. SO WHY IS IT CALLED AN "OPEN-FACED SANDWICH"?!?

It's not. It's called breakfast.
(Yes, I'm Dutch.)
posted by Too-Ticky at 5:51 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


However, I should like to point out at this early stage in our proceedings that the most correct and fruitful philosophic starting point is the phenomenology of sandwich, as practiced by Husserl, and I would refer participants to his celebrated treatise on the subject, Über den Begriff der Doppelschnitte.

Victuals Of The Earl....
posted by zarq at 5:51 AM on July 29, 2015


IF IT'S OPEN-FACED IT'S NOT A SANDWICH. SO WHY IS IT CALLED AN "OPEN-FACED SANDWICH"?!?

Because Carl "the Cleaver" Cleaver, a short-order cook in Cincinnati in the 20s, liked making them, and, when people would ask this question, well, let's just think about the phrase "open the face" and move swiftly on to more appetizing scenes.

Strange, but true!
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:04 AM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


I would like to join double block and bleed. I too will give all of his blood and treasure to defend English muffins! They are a fully-integrated emigrant to America, and thus, in fact, are much loved in their home country.

My seasonal summer breakfast sandwich, to be deployed only on special weekends: toasted English muffin; two strips of bacon, halved and layered; a fried green tomato; and yes, a slice of American cheese. You'll note the so-called "English" muffin nestled quite happily next to two quintessentially-American foods, there. USA! USA!
posted by gilrain at 6:08 AM on July 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


English muffins

... Yorkshire pudding, Cornish hens, Scotch eggs, Canadian bacon ... Practically a cornucopia of Commonwealth cuisine ...
posted by octobersurprise at 6:12 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


I am suddenly troubled. There are English muffin sandwiches, yes. And there are open-faced sandwiches, yes. (As a resident of Kentucky, I can hardly claim otherwise in the face of the Hot Brown.) However, this forces the conclusion that Eggs Benedict is an open-faced sandwich. I'm conflicted.
posted by gilrain at 6:18 AM on July 29, 2015 [7 favorites]




If you haven't had a sausage, bacon and egg soda you haven't lived. (Though there's a distressing lack of brown sauce on this one.)

*weeps anaemic vegetarian tears*
posted by billiebee at 6:26 AM on July 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


It's not what's being asked for in this post, but I made a post a while back which linked to a good, well-photographed collection of regional sandwiches. The title was a quiet cry for help because, reader, I was on a very-low-carb diet at the time and torturing myself.

I'm better now. I'm losing about the same amount using intermittent fasting, which allows me to eat so many sandwiches, yes please.
posted by gilrain at 6:27 AM on July 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


Although, now that I remember it... the last link in that post does include a timeline of early sandwiches. So maybe?
posted by gilrain at 6:30 AM on July 29, 2015


Goddamn I love fucking sandwiches so much. I could eat nothing but them and be at peace. Blessings to all.

PS: Sprouts
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:49 AM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


Because it sounds better than "bread with stuff on it".

In classic fashion, the German word for "open-faced sandwich" is belegtes Brot, which pretty much literally means "bread with stuff laid upon it."
posted by jedicus at 7:32 AM on July 29, 2015 [10 favorites]


FetishFilter: Goddamn I love fucking sandwiches so much.

...

PS: Sprouts
posted by MoonOrb at 7:46 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Ditto for Norwegian, where smørbrød is "butter bread" to refer to an open-faced sandwich. The word for food placed between pieces of bread is "sandwich".
posted by Tanizaki at 7:47 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Must re-post relevant tweeet: The Earl of Sandwich invented a great way to eat while playing cards, but so did the Earl of Wiping-Hands-on-Shirt.
posted by growabrain at 7:47 AM on July 29, 2015


Legend says that Simonides of Ceos was the inventor of the method of loci where large amounts of data can be remembered in order by placing images that represent the data into mental locations or journeys:
There is a story that Simonides was dining at the house of a wealthy nobleman named Scopas at Crannon in Thessaly, and chanted a lyric poem which he had composed in honor of his host, in which he followed the custom of the poets by including for decorative purposes a long passage referring to Castor and Pollux; whereupon Scopas with excessive meanness told him he would pay him half the fee agreed on for the poem, and if he liked he might apply for the balance to his sons of Tyndaraus, as they had gone halves in the panegyric.

The story runs that a little later a message was brought to Simonides to go outside, as two young men were standing at the door who earnestly requested him to come out; so he rose from his seat and went out, and could not see anybody; but in the interval of his absence the roof of the hall where Scopas was giving the banquet fell in, crushing Scopas himself and his relations underneath the ruins and killing them; and when their friends wanted to bury them but were altogether unable to know them apart as they had been completely crushed, the story goes that Simonides was enabled by his recollection of the place in which each of them had been reclining at table to identify them for separate interment; and that this circumstance suggested to him the discovery of the truth that the best aid to clearness of memory consists in orderly arrangement.

He inferred that persons desiring to train this faculty must select localities and form mental images of the facts they wish to remember and store those images in the localities, with the result that the arrangement of the localities will preserve the order of the facts, and the images of the facts will designate the facts themselves, and we shall employ the localities and images respectively as a wax writing tablet and the letters written on it.
What they don't tell you is what that cheap-ass Scopas was feeding his guests. That's right: sandwiches.

Yes, if you've read Wolf Hall you already know this story. Except for the sandwiches.
posted by languagehat at 7:52 AM on July 29, 2015 [11 favorites]


Although, now that I remember it... the last link in that post does include a timeline of early sandwiches. So maybe?

That timeline mentions a National Sandwich Month recipe contest, which sounds like what I'm remembering. But I don't see a list of winners.
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:54 AM on July 29, 2015


last year i made a truly epic open faced sandwich. so i guess i'm pro-open faced sandwiches.
posted by nadawi at 8:12 AM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


Question: Is breakfast cereal a sandwich?
posted by shakespeherian at 8:15 AM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


I suppose you could argue that cereal is unleavened bread, maybe. However, in my opinion if the "bread" is completely immersed in the filling, it can't be a sandwich. An open-faced sandwich is still topped, not immersed, since the bread is always on the bottom.

The slightest nod to the bread containing or supporting the filling/toppings is necessary in a sandwich, I think.
posted by gilrain at 8:20 AM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


I realize you then get into burrito territory, which is why I'm not fully prepared to allow unleavened bread in the first place. But cereal is right out.
posted by gilrain at 8:21 AM on July 29, 2015


Oh shit, pizza is leavened. Oh well, I give up. It's a sandwich if I say it is. My MeMail is always open, if you require a specific judgment.
posted by gilrain at 8:22 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Every English muffin I've ever had was covered in some sort of horrible powder that sticks to your tongue. Why would anyone want that.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:25 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


the trick is to knock off some of the cornmeal or whatever before toasting. i make really good english muffin sandwiches, so feel free to stop by if you need your mind changed.
posted by nadawi at 8:27 AM on July 29, 2015


andrewcooke: "(i just meant i don't think they're much loved in their home country)

(well, no, also, i guess the entire statement is lacking a certain reserve).
"

I wasn't offended, if you're concerned about that. I was just being silly, though I probably should have waited for the OP to get the answer to their question first.
posted by double block and bleed at 8:28 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


last year i made a truly epic open faced sandwich. so i guess i'm pro-open faced sandwiches.

that is the most beautiful motherfucking thing I have seen in a while
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 8:31 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


"Sandwich" always strikes me as a funny word. I'm reading this thread aloud and giggling an unreasonable amount.
posted by DingoMutt at 9:28 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Is a Manhattan a sandwich, provided it is garnished?
posted by shakespeherian at 9:41 AM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


Every English muffin I've ever had was covered in some sort of horrible powder that sticks to your tongue. Why would anyone want that.

If Thomas' English Muffins, that's Farina. If not, then it's likely corn meal. Both are used to help prevent the dough ball from sticking before it is shaped. For similar reasons, flour or corn meal are often used when making pizza, and can create a crunchy underside on Neapolitan pies.
posted by zarq at 9:48 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Hey shakes, between you and me who's to know? So, is it "sandwiches" for lunch again or what? It's hump day, after all!
posted by gilrain at 9:50 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


I like English muffins as a breakfast item, and I am intrigued by the possibility of using them as sandwich construction material.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:17 AM on July 29, 2015


For similar reasons, flour or corn meal are often used when making pizza,

Seriously - at places I used to work the cornmeal was like pizza ball bearings so you could get it to come off the peel and into the oven.

Is a Manhattan a sandwich, provided it is garnished?

I'm prepared to call a Milwaukee Bloody Mary a sandwich. Along with maybe a couple other things.
posted by LionIndex at 10:18 AM on July 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


Is a Manhattan a sandwich, provided it is garnished?

Only if garnished with bread.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:45 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


If you put a piece of bread on cereal, is it an open faced sandwich or is it soup?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:49 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


I refuse to accept a definition of sandwich that does not include French onion soup.
posted by gauche at 10:51 AM on July 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


Mashed potatoes are an open-faced sandwich.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:06 AM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


> I like English muffins as a breakfast item, and I am intrigued by the possibility of using them as sandwich construction material.

I used to regularly make delicious sandwiches with English muffins, but that was back in the '90s, and then the decade changed and I forgot all about it. I want to say I'll start doing it again, but I probably won't. Damn you, zeitgeist!
posted by languagehat at 11:15 AM on July 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


Am I wrong in thinking that in the 1990s the bagel replaced the English muffin as the prevalent non-sliced bread sandwich base?

(Before being replaced in the 00s by the wrap, which is arguably different in kind, and then in the 10s by just wrapping everything in bacon, I think)
posted by MoonOrb at 11:38 AM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


like many trends, some things never die in the flyovers - we're still making sandwiches out of english muffins, and bagels, and sliders are still big, and wraps, and whatever other carb-y thing the coasts have abandoned. it really is god's country out here.
posted by nadawi at 11:43 AM on July 29, 2015 [7 favorites]


English muffins

If I could only eat one sort of bread for the rest of my life, they are what I would choose. Based on my diet I am probably made of about 22% English muffins. I think this is because they are one of the bread products that are super fussy and annoying to cook so I always appreciate them.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 11:50 AM on July 29, 2015 [8 favorites]


in the 1990s the bagel replaced the English muffin as the prevalent non-sliced bread sandwich base? (Before being replaced in the 00s by the wrap, which is arguably different in kind, and then in the 10s by just wrapping everything in bacon, I think)

Where do panini's fit in here?
posted by octobersurprise at 11:55 AM on July 29, 2015


They're pretty flat, so: between any two of the list mentioned previously.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:18 PM on July 29, 2015 [4 favorites]


> Am I wrong in thinking that in the 1990s the bagel replaced the English muffin as the prevalent non-sliced bread sandwich base?

See, now I make sandwiches out of bagels. I had no idea I was such a slave to fashion.
posted by languagehat at 12:19 PM on July 29, 2015


While the english muffin is no slouch and the right bagel comes close, the basis for any materially good sandwich is some fresh bakery made jewish seeded rye. Whatever goes between the two slices is good enough. I happen to prefer the pastrami with deli mustard and some cole slaw, but corned beef or salami will do too.
posted by AugustWest at 12:24 PM on July 29, 2015


bagel replaced the English muffin
I love bagels plain or with shmear, but I don't like bagel sandwiches unless they have been pressed. They are too tall otherwise and always fall apart on me.
posted by soelo at 1:05 PM on July 29, 2015


I think this is because they are one of the bread products that are super fussy and annoying to cook so I always appreciate them.

I can't help but think this care for the super fussy and annoying (e.g., MeFites) is the attitude that made you such a well-loved and successful moderator of this website.

I mean that as a compliment, and in no sense a criticism of your toasting and/or buttering skills.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:27 PM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


A drop of milk between two bran flakes is a sandwich; every bowl of cereal is a soggy mass of sandwich potentiality

in the 1990s the bagel replaced the English muffin as the prevalent non-sliced bread sandwich base? (Before being replaced in the 00s by the wrap, which is arguably different in kind, and then in the 10s by just wrapping everything in bacon, I think)

I'm starting to see the Sad 100 Calorie Whole Grain Flat Round get around

Anyway next time there's a how-to-grilled-cheese thread I'm busting this out

My work network blocks the site as "pornography," which doesn't seem entirely wrong
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:44 PM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


It really is a miracle I don't eat breakfast sandwiches every meal of the day every day of the year. That so many people here are stepping up for the English muffin feels like an affirmation of my being.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:51 PM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


Here's another reply that doesn't answer the question but links to a post about a sandwich.
posted by daisyace at 2:35 PM on July 29, 2015


Here is a guy who eats a sandwich every day during National Sandwich Month going back many years, and posts a picture of the sandwich. He did it for ten years before he got tired of posting them.
posted by Roger Dodger at 2:50 PM on July 29, 2015


And a post from his wife, with highlights.
posted by Roger Dodger at 2:52 PM on July 29, 2015


Melted Butter. Nooks. Crannies. What's not to love?
posted by zarq at 4:05 PM on July 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


Crumpets are better than English muffins, unless you got trypophobia
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:18 PM on July 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: We Have Sandwiches
posted by mrbill at 4:31 PM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


so yeah, trypophobia isn't that good a thing to do an image search on :(
posted by andrewcooke at 5:30 PM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


If you didn't have trypophobia before the image search, you likely will after...
posted by Deoridhe at 6:02 PM on July 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


Crumpets are better than English muffins

There is room in my stomach for all of god's creatures.
posted by phunniemee at 6:18 PM on July 29, 2015 [6 favorites]


Sometimes I spend the entire working day at my desk dreaming up new ideas for sandwiches while staring blankly at a Word document.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:29 PM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh shit I just had another crazy sandwich idea. Peanut butter, banana, and honey...and HAM. On SOURDOUGH. OH GOD.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:30 PM on July 29, 2015


I call it: "The Hawaiian Mistake".
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:31 PM on July 29, 2015 [8 favorites]


Am I wrong in thinking that in the 1990s the bagel replaced the English muffin as the prevalent non-sliced bread sandwich base?

STILL waiting for a hard roll fad.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:08 PM on July 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


99% sure they are selling them from food trucks in Portland as I type this.
posted by MoonOrb at 8:19 PM on July 29, 2015


To be clear: An open-faced sandwich has two pieces of bread. It's a regular sandwich with some assembly required. Think McD.L.T., but not so much that we get into the whole "are hamburgers sandwiches" thing, because yes technically they are but no we don't call them that unless we are aboard a satellite watching a terrible B-movie in the not-too-distant future.

We don't really have a commonly-used word for a piece of bread with some stuff on it in English, even though we have all kinds of dishes like that: Welsh rarebit, bruschetta, pizza bagel, etc. In Swedish they call that a smörgås (as in the bord), and you will invariably see such a thing described in forced translation as an "open-faced sandwich," but it isn't really. It's just a piece of bread with some stuff on it. It's fine for what it is, but it is not a sandwich.

People will undoubtedly disagree. Avoid such people. They just want to stiff you on bread.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:05 PM on July 29, 2015


An open-faced sandwich is a sandwich, a hamburger is a sandwich, a ramen burger is a sandwich, a lettuce wrap is a sandwich, words have no fixed meaning, there is no such thing as objective truth
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:00 PM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


mrbill: Metafilter: We Have Sandwiches

MeFi definitely has sandwiches.

(I would like to take this opportunity to thank pb and all the mods again for the wonderful MetaFilterest (and for this thread in particular, thanks to goodnewsfortheinsane for the sandwiches idea). I still find myself going there sometimes -- it's on my bookmarks toolbar! -- and the available options and selections of great photos always make me smile.)
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 11:24 PM on July 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


I was once bothered by the natural limit to how much peanut butter you can put in a sandwich; too much and it all just squishes out the sides and gets all over your hands. So I invented the Peanut Butter Club Sandwich, with an extra slice of bread in the middle. It's... intense.
posted by teponaztli at 11:42 PM on July 29, 2015


Oh shit I just had another crazy sandwich idea. Peanut butter, banana, and honey...and HAM. On SOURDOUGH. OH GOD.

I call it: "The Hawaiian Mistake".


Now we know you are lying.

If it were truly Hawaiian, it would be SPAM.
posted by hippybear at 2:19 AM on July 30, 2015


Oh shit I just had another crazy sandwich idea. Peanut butter, banana, and honey...and HAM. On SOURDOUGH. OH GOD.

I call it: "The Hawaiian Mistake".


The Lilo Sandstitch

(Sleep deprived mother of newborn and toddler and preschooler and DID YOU KNOW all the Lilo movies are on Netflix)
posted by that's how you get ants at 4:55 AM on July 30, 2015 [4 favorites]


I don't like sandwiches. I don't understand why anyone likes sandwiches. I think I should probably leave this thread right about now and go a very long way away quite quickly.
posted by lollusc at 5:34 AM on July 30, 2015


prize bull octorok: "An open-faced sandwich is a sandwich, a hamburger is a sandwich, a ramen burger is a sandwich, a lettuce wrap is a sandwich, words have no fixed meaning, there is no such thing as objective truth"

Damon Knight (right before lunch): "Sandwich means what we point to when we say it."

Potter Stewart
(feeling hungry): "I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of food I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description ["sandwich"], and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the foodstuff involved in this case is not that."
posted by Chrysostom at 5:36 AM on July 30, 2015


So I invented the Peanut Butter Club Sandwich, with an extra slice of bread in the middle. It's... intense.

Read this approximately four times as the peanut butter CUP sandwich and wasn't sure whether to praise you or have you locked away for our safety. The extra bread seemed excessive in any event.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:59 AM on July 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


To make it a true club sandwich, I think you should also add bacon because a bacon and peanut butter sandwich is one of life's real joys.

I'll bring the toothpicks.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 6:02 AM on July 30, 2015


MCMikeNamara: "It really is a miracle I don't eat breakfast sandwiches every meal of the day every day of the year. "

Related
posted by Rock Steady at 6:16 AM on July 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


It really is a miracle I don't eat breakfast sandwiches every meal of the day every day of the year.

I live my life by very few rules, but one that has served me well is: never don't get the breakfast sandwich.
posted by gauche at 6:19 AM on July 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


Oh shit, pizza is leavened. Oh well, I give up. It's a sandwich if I say it is. My MeMail is always open, if you require a specific judgment.

Counterpoint:
It is my first time in Italy. I am attempting to order food at a cafe lunch counter, pointing at an item behind the glass which consists of meat and condiments laid between two slices of bread.

ME: Io prendo... ah, come si dice..?
BARISTA: (stares blankly) ...pizza.
posted by drumcorpse at 6:23 AM on July 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


There is room in my stomach for all of god's creatures.

and you call ME the cannibal
posted by poffin boffin at 6:30 AM on July 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don't like sandwiches. I don't understand why anyone likes sandwiches. I think I should probably leave this thread right about now and go a very long way away quite quickly.
posted by lollusc


Since you may be a filter feeder, I think this is an understandable sentiment. For you.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:30 AM on July 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Sometimes I spend the entire working day at my desk dreaming up new ideas for sandwiches while staring blankly at a Word document.

One of the great joys in my life is that I'm often in a position to make whatever crazy food I dream up for my next meal. This has lead to the invention of The Piggy Cristo: shredded pork, sharp cheddar, and mustard sandwich, battered and deep-fried and topped with a dusting of powdered sugar and smoked pepper hot-sauce.
posted by Gygesringtone at 6:33 AM on July 30, 2015 [8 favorites]


I don't like sandwiches. I don't understand why anyone likes sandwiches. I think I should probably leave this thread right about now and go a very long way away quite quickly.

You can come hang out with me because you won't be eating my sandwiches.
posted by jeather at 6:44 AM on July 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


I live my life by very few rules, but one that has served me well is: never don't get the breakfast sandwich.

A place that otherwise has decent food near me has put this, generally very good, principle to the test. A sausage breakfast sandwich yields a smallish sausage link rolling between two pieces of toast, the time I tried it with bacon it somehow just didn't come together, so that it wound up collapsing into a pile of bread, egg, and meat that no one would dignify with the name of sandwich.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:23 AM on July 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


...it wound up collapsing into a pile...

They were hard at work Disrupting Sandwich. Watch for the new app SandWch.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:38 AM on July 30, 2015


To be clear: An open-faced sandwich has two pieces of bread.

Here comes the next Wikipedia edit war.
posted by Tanizaki at 8:23 AM on July 30, 2015


They just want to stiff you on bread.

And stiff bread is no good for sandwiches, it's all dried out and it crumbles too easily.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:24 AM on July 30, 2015


Here comes the next Wikipedia edit war.

Number of pieces of bread and other topics are mentioned briefly on the Talk page. :)
posted by zarq at 9:14 AM on July 30, 2015


One of the great joys in my life is that I'm often in a position to make whatever crazy food I dream up for my next meal. This has lead to the invention of The Piggy Cristo: shredded pork, sharp cheddar, and mustard sandwich, battered and deep-fried and topped with a dusting of powdered sugar and smoked pepper hot-sauce.
posted by Gygesringtone


The current MeFi Contacts functionality doesn't allow me to tag people, so Gygesringtone, I am unable to label you properly as SANDWICH GOD. But trust me, I'll remember.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:30 AM on July 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


Hmm. I've just realized the english muffin sandwich falls outside Judge John Hodgman's considered ruling on the definition of sandwich, which includes the criteria that they are items that may routinely be cut in half (thereby effectively ruling the hot dog as Not A Sandwich). No one would cut an english muffin sandwich in half unless they were under some weird duress or compulsion. Intriguing.
posted by deludingmyself at 10:11 AM on July 30, 2015


...why wouldn't you cut an english muffin sandwich in half?
posted by nadawi at 10:17 AM on July 30, 2015


You split them with a fork.
posted by Gygesringtone at 10:24 AM on July 30, 2015


Yes, the cut-in-half rule falls apart under scrutiny.

A KFC Double Down is a sandwich. A sandwich is a base + a filling. A pizza is a sandwich.
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:29 AM on July 30, 2015


A pizza is a sandwich.

That way lies insanity.
posted by zarq at 10:32 AM on July 30, 2015


no, i mean, once the sandwich is made, which i think is what deludingmyself is referring to - i totally do that with english muffin sandwiches sometimes.
posted by nadawi at 10:33 AM on July 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


I got a quarter of a way into that thread, saw the OP's comment: "BTW, this argument has gone on for months." and shook my head knowingly.
posted by zarq at 10:33 AM on July 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh, yeah the misunderstanding was on my end. No clue.
posted by Gygesringtone at 10:42 AM on July 30, 2015


Also this fantastic comment from BOP deserves to be framed and mounted. :D
Is a pizza ever served with a pickle spear and chips? No! Clearly it cannot be a sandwich.

I find this to be a convincing argument.

Also, Miko -- a calzone is not a sandwich. It is a pizza singularity, the result of a pizza collapsing on itself. A pizzalarity, if you will.

posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:35 PM on August 4, 2008
posted by zarq at 10:44 AM on July 30, 2015 [2 favorites]




This thread is a sandwich.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:18 AM on July 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


Today Lucky Peach weighs in on the sandwich debate with a guide to Chinese Sandwiches, one of which, 棺材板 aka "Coffin Sandwich" is more a bread bowl-with-top than anything else.
posted by Maecenas at 1:05 PM on July 30, 2015


Chrysostom:

"prize bull octorok: "A KFC Double Down is a sandwich. A sandwich is a base + a filling. A pizza is a sandwich."

Crime is a sandwich...


A KFC Double Down is a crime.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:10 PM on July 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


I know an amazing joke about sandwiches:

Q: Why don't you get hungry on the beach?

A: Because of all the sand which is there!!!!!

!!!!!!!
posted by ZipRibbons at 1:40 PM on July 30, 2015 [5 favorites]


There is an art to the business of making sandwiches which it is given to few ever to find the time to explore in depth. It is a simple task, but the opportunities for satisfaction are many and profound: choosing the right bread for instance. The Sandwich Maker had spent many months in daily consultation and experiment with Grarp the baker and eventually they had between them created a loaf of exactly the consistency that was dense enough to slice thinly and neatly, while still being light, moist and having that fine nutty flavour which best enhanced the savour of roast Perfectly Normal Beast flesh.

There was also the geometry of the slice to be refined: the precise relationships between the width and height of the slice and also its thickness which would give the proper sense of bulk and weight to the finished sandwich: here again, lightness was a virtue, but so too were firmness, generosity and that promise of succulence and savour that is the hallmark of a truly intense sandwich experience.

The proper tools, of course, were crucial, and many were the days that the Sandwich Maker, when not engaged with the Baker at his oven, would spend with Strinder the Tool Maker, weighing and balancing knives, taking them to the forge and back again. Suppleness, strength, keenness of edge, length and balance were all enthusiastically debated, theories put forward, tested, refined, and many was the evening when the Sandwich Maker and the Tool Maker could be seen silhouetted against the light of the setting sun and the Tool Maker's forge making slow sweeping movements through the air trying one knife after another, comparing the weight of this one with the balance of another, the suppleness of a third and the handle binding of a fourth.

Three knives altogether were required. First there was the knife for the slicing of the bread: a firm, authoritative blade which imposed a clear and defining will on a loaf. Then there was the butter-spreading knife, which was a whippy little number but still with a firm backbone to it. Early versions had been a little too whippy, but now the combination of flexibility with a core of strength was exactly right to achieve the maximum smoothness and grace of spread.

The chief amongst the knives, of course, was the carving knife. This was the knife that would not merely impose its will on the medium through which it moved, as did the bread knife; it must work with it, be guided by the grain of the meat, to achieve slices of the most exquisite consistency and translucency, that would slide away in filmy folds from the main hunk of meat.

The Sandwich Maker would then flip each sheet with a smooth flick of the wrist on to the beautifully proportioned lower bread slice, trim it with four deft strokes and then at last perform the magic that the children of the village so longed to gather round and watch with rapt attention and wonder. With just four more dexterous flips of the knife he would assemble the trimmings into a perfectly fitting jigsaw of pieces on top of the primary slice. For every sandwich the size and shape of the trimmings were different, but the Sandwich Maker would always effortlessly and without hesitation assemble them into a pattern which fitted perfectly. A second layer of meat and a second layer of trimmings, and the main act of creation would be accomplished.

The Sandwich Maker would pass what he had made to his assistant who would then add a few slices of newcumber and fladish and a touch of splagberry sauce, and then apply the topmost layer of bread and cut the sandwich with a fourth and altogether plainer knife. It was not that these were not also skilful operations, but they were lesser skills to be performed by a dedicated apprentice who would one day, when the Sandwich Maker finally laid down his tools, take over from him. It was an exalted position and that apprentice, Drimple, was the envy of his fellows. There were those in the village who were happy chopping wood, those who were content carrying water, but to be the Sandwich Maker was very heaven.

And so the Sandwich Maker sang as he worked.

He was using the last of the year's salted meat. It was a little past its best now, but still the rich savour of Perfectly Normal Beast meat was something unsurpassed in any of the Sandwich Maker's previous experience. Next week it was anticipated that the Perfectly Normal Beasts would appear again for their regular migration, whereupon the whole village would once again be plunged into frenetic action: hunting the Beasts, killing perhaps six, maybe even seven dozen of the thousands that thundered past. Then the Beasts must be rapidly butchered and cleaned, with most of the meat salted to keep it through the winter months until the return migration in the spring, which would replenish their supplies.

The very best of the meat would be roasted straight away for the feast that marked the Autumn Passage. The celebrations would last for three days of sheer exuberance, dancing and stories that Old Thrashbarg would tell of how the hunt had gone, stories that he would have been busy sitting making up in his hut while the rest of the village was out doing the actual hunting.

And then the very, very best of the meat would be saved from the feast and delivered cold to the Sandwich Maker. And the Sandwich Maker would exercise on it the skills that he had brought to them from the gods, and make the exquisite Sandwiches of the Third Season, of which the whole village would partake before beginning, the next day, to prepare themselves for the rigours of the coming winter.

-- Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
posted by obiwanwasabi at 10:43 PM on July 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


Ok so I am just back from a variation on The Hawaiian Mistake that used standard wholemeal bread, triple smoked shaved free range ham, blueberry jam, and crunchy natural peanut butter. It probably helped that it is 3 in the afternoon and I hadn't eaten anything all day but it was actually legitimately excellent. I think frying it would have taken it to the next level. Would eat again.
posted by turbid dahlia at 10:15 PM on August 1, 2015


The secret to making a badass batch of 12 English Muffin sandwiches is using a cupcake / muffin tin with 12 slots (I've only tested this with 12), a fresh batch of 12 eggs (so the yolks don't crack), and some oil or cooking spray to lube up the tins. Heat the oven to 350° F and use the middle rack -- check after 10 minutes to see how they are coming along, and then every 2 minutes after, probably getting to "over easy" at 12 minutes (nope) and "over medium" around 14-15 (yep) and then "over hard" around 17+.

Remove them with a spoon, like you would an avocado. You can cook your muffins under the broiler and pre-butter them, or toast and butter them. Always butter them, damnit. Deluxe-style American Cheese and some sausage, ham, or bacon come next, though you can get away with any combination of items or none of the items inside so long as butter and English Muffins are involved.
posted by aydeejones at 11:58 PM on August 11, 2015


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