Schmoopy from my eyeball! October 30, 2015 5:38 PM   Subscribe

Shout out to askmefi! I didn't even need to ask though. This afternoon at 4:00, my eye started acting strange (like I'd looked at a bright light and the spot wouldn't go away) and I thought, eh, maybe I'll google it or call the doctor on Monday. It's going to storm tomorrow, so New Orleans Trick or Treating has been moved to today so I have to take my little kid trick or treating and finish my teenager's Manos Hand of Fate costume. I didn't really know what to google so I thought maybe I'd ask metafilter. I didn't even pull out my phone - I knew all the answers would be "Are you insane, it's your eyesight you imbecile!"

So anyway, I called my eye doctor, she had me rush in right away and then she called an eye surgeon at 5:55 and now I'm getting my retina re attached tomorrow. She was very happy I came I so early and said I have a very good chance at good results. I didn't tell her that it was all thanks to the imaginary answers of Internet people but I'm here to say thanks!! Thank you to all the people who I am totally sure would have yelled great answers if I had needed to ask! Also thanks to the person in an ask me question who had a similar (but freakier, iirc) eye problem that I vaguely remembered!

Sorry this is so long above the fold. My eyes aren't working and now they're dilated and I can't manage to select half the post to paste it down here.
posted by artychoke to MetaFilter-Related at 5:38 PM (56 comments total) 71 users marked this as a favorite

Yay for the spirit of Metafilter! (And I split the post for you, just for everyone's convenience.)
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 5:38 PM on October 30, 2015 [7 favorites]


I LOVE the askme chorus that lives in my head. I'm so glad you have one too and that it shouts at you when you need it!
posted by rtha at 5:55 PM on October 30, 2015 [81 favorites]


Thanks for posting! Hope you have a speedy recovery!
posted by pianissimo at 6:01 PM on October 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


Phew!

(Good thing you didn't ask: some careless reader might have told you that it was OK to eat it.)
posted by wenestvedt at 6:05 PM on October 30, 2015 [48 favorites]


Take the advice of semi-random people on the Internet! The sight you save may be your own!
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:07 PM on October 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


Oh my gosh I live in fear of a detached retina and I am so glad you took action! Thank you for your vindication of every time I have chided people on askme to get in contact with an optometrist. I hope your surgery goes flawlessly and your recovery is simple!
posted by Mizu at 6:08 PM on October 30, 2015 [5 favorites]


I love this story. The metafebo effect.
posted by threeants at 6:08 PM on October 30, 2015 [27 favorites]


Yay! Also, don't eat it, and there's a good chance you should DTMFA, but there's also a good chance that you shouldn't.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:08 PM on October 30, 2015 [11 favorites]


I see what you did there.

Have a speedy recovery. And a happy Halloween.
posted by marienbad at 6:26 PM on October 30, 2015 [4 favorites]


AskMe is good training. Just imagining the answers has saved many questions.
Good luck with your surgery tomorrow.
posted by SLC Mom at 6:45 PM on October 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


I would be posting a question every week if it weren't for the fact that I've internalised the Voice of AskMe so I know the answers to most of them before I've finished composing the post in my head. So I heartily endorse this post and good luck tomorrow!
posted by billiebee at 7:08 PM on October 30, 2015 [17 favorites]


AskMe - so good, you don't even need to ask the question.

Speedy recovery!
posted by Ruki at 7:11 PM on October 30, 2015 [8 favorites]


Also, don't eat it, and there's a good chance you should DTMFA, but there's also a good chance that you shouldn't.

And you should definitely get a lawyer.
posted by litera scripta manet at 7:53 PM on October 30, 2015 [5 favorites]


But seriously, I'm glad the wisdom of ask mefi guided you to the doctor's office. I hope you have a swift and speedy recovery!
posted by litera scripta manet at 7:58 PM on October 30, 2015


> And you should definitely get a lawyer.

And a therapist. And a crockpot!
posted by rtha at 8:04 PM on October 30, 2015 [50 favorites]


Just yesterday, I wrote out a question, which upon further reflection, I realized I already knew what the Green was going to tell me. I deleted the question and took my imaginary Green's advice.
posted by msali at 8:17 PM on October 30, 2015 [4 favorites]


I am a therapist and I approve of you listening to the voices inside your head.
posted by jaguar at 8:21 PM on October 30, 2015 [42 favorites]


Y'all crack me up! Also only in my head because I'm probably not supposed to laugh and jiggle my eye goo. Thanks for all the good wishes for surgery!
posted by artychoke at 8:33 PM on October 30, 2015 [12 favorites]


I <3 this post. Best of luck on your surgery!
posted by triggerfinger at 8:38 PM on October 30, 2015


When in doubt:

Don't eat it
Talk to a lawyer
See a doctor
Get therapy

and if none of that works, DTMFA!

I hope it all goes well for you!
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 9:18 PM on October 30, 2015 [8 favorites]


waiting to see what eyeballkid has to say about all of this
posted by the webmistress at 9:25 PM on October 30, 2015 [5 favorites]


So glad to hear you went in right away! AskMe made me aware of the threat of detached retinas too. Good luck tomorrow!
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 9:34 PM on October 30, 2015 [4 favorites]


So you don't need help naming a kitten then?
posted by dness2 at 9:38 PM on October 30, 2015 [15 favorites]


So this description sounds a great deal like the optical/ocular/aura migraine I had earlier this week (I get them infrequently but generally without headache pain, although when they do precede headache pain, it's the 72 hour headache sort! Whee!). How does one distinguish this detached retina thing from the optical migraine without headache that's not common, but not that unusual?
posted by crush-onastick at 10:58 PM on October 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


I am a therapist and I approve of you listening to the voices inside your head.

I approve of being the voices inside your head
posted by aubilenon at 11:21 PM on October 30, 2015 [6 favorites]


Metafilter is nearly always inside my head when I'm trying to make a difficult decision. And if I ignore the imaginary chorus and tell myself "but they don't understand" or "it will be fine" or "I'm an adult and don't have to listen to this" it inevitably turns out to be the wrong decision.

So thanks a lot, Metafilter. I've read so many AskMetafilter questions that you occupy the spot in my head where my parents should've been. Thanks a lot.

I don't have to listen to you, you're not my real dad
posted by schroedinger at 12:19 AM on October 31, 2015 [24 favorites]


Good luck with the surgery and the recovery!

I am a therapist and I approve of you listening to the voices inside your head.

This is a wonderful sentence in so many ways.
posted by Dip Flash at 2:16 AM on October 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


Christ, what an eyeball.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 4:34 AM on October 31, 2015 [4 favorites]


I am so glad you listened to imaginary mefites! I hope you recover super quick.


and yeah, I haven't posted any of the 'why would they do this?' questions I've had because I know the answer: cats are weird.
posted by kitten magic at 7:22 AM on October 31, 2015 [3 favorites]


jiggle my eye goo

That phrase should be inserted into every conversation for at least the next 3 months.
posted by cynical pinnacle at 7:51 AM on October 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


If we're doing t-shirts again soon maybe also we can do bracelets with the letters WWAMS? etched in?
posted by notyou at 8:33 AM on October 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


Crush-onastick: How does one distinguish this detached retina thing from the optical migraine without headache that's not common, but not that unusual?

You should try that on the green, my friend. The answers are on the green.
posted by SLC Mom at 9:00 AM on October 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


Hooray for Metafilter helping save your eyesight! Good luck with your operation and a speedy recovery!
posted by colfax at 9:36 AM on October 31, 2015


Christ, what an eyeball

But better than being a dog in outer space, no ?
posted by y2karl at 10:00 AM on October 31, 2015


This is a wonderful sentence in so many ways.

Introjects can be useful things. ;)
posted by jaguar at 10:09 AM on October 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


Hope all goes well! Eyes are good things to have.
posted by Namlit at 10:17 AM on October 31, 2015 [1 favorite]


I do this all the time, also. So glad it worked out for you, and good luck!
posted by raisingsand at 10:31 AM on October 31, 2015


So glad you caught it! Good luck in the storm tonight, looks like a doozie.
posted by radioamy at 11:58 AM on October 31, 2015


Also props to your kid for the manos costume
posted by angrycat at 12:16 PM on October 31, 2015


I'm sorry your retina felt it was ok to ghost on you after you've been together so long. I'm glad they've agreed to counseling to get back together and work on your issues as a couple.
posted by sio42 at 1:55 PM on October 31, 2015 [19 favorites]


In the slightly irreverent spirit of Chainsawsuit, this topical comic has made me snicker over and over again.

The Colors of Fall
posted by Existential Dread at 3:10 PM on October 31, 2015 [3 favorites]


Good thing that you listened to popular advice and didn't eat it.
posted by littlesq at 3:36 PM on October 31, 2015


But with a detached retina, how will you join the Coast Guard now?
posted by TrishaLynn at 9:56 PM on October 31, 2015 [2 favorites]


for the best results from my rice cooker I like ebert's The Pot and How To Use It
posted by AaronRaphael at 1:25 AM on November 1, 2015


and if none of that works, DTMFA!

And don't forget to read "The Gift of Fear."
posted by Melismata at 6:00 AM on November 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


If your retina was that detached maybe you need to spend a little more time nurturing the relationship. It's not all about you. Retinas have needs too.

Also....couples therapy. I'm just sayin'.
posted by the webmistress at 9:19 AM on November 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


This same thing got me into the emergency room three weeks ago! Only my retina was not detached or torn. I was lucky enough that the ophthalmologist on call decided to leave home to see me, based on my description of what was going on. She is a retina specialist, and she diagnosed my condition as punctate inner choroidopathy, a rare eye disease for which I'm receiving excellent care. She also seems a bit blown away by my having noticed it so early on.

Thanks, Invisible AskMe!
posted by salix at 3:11 PM on November 1, 2015 [6 favorites]


Don't eat it
Talk to a lawyer
See a doctor
Get therapy

and if none of that works, DTMFA!


See, now I want the imaginary MeFi chorus to be real. I want a group of men and women in blue, white, gold and green choir robes:
Sopranos: Don't eat it
Basses: Talk to a lawyer
Tenors: See a doctor
Altos: Get therapy

All: and if none of that works, DUMP THEIR MOTHER FUCKING AAAA----SSSSSSS!
The last chord should be a nice suspended fourth, dropping to the second before resolving to the third.

It should be like angels pointing you in the right direction.

Oh - and good on you for getting your eye fixed up.
posted by plinth at 6:50 PM on November 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


How does one distinguish this detached retina thing from the optical migraine without headache that's not common, but not that unusual?

My migraine-related visual disturbances are in both eyes, if I close each in turn. I'd think a retinal detachment would only affect one eye?
posted by palliser at 8:03 PM on November 1, 2015


AskMe is great. Not a single body I've disposed of has ever been found.
posted by um at 8:35 PM on November 1, 2015 [10 favorites]


Clearly, you were smart from the very beginning.
posted by St. Hubbins at 1:16 PM on November 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


Plinth surely the MeFi Music people can make that happen?
posted by Wretch729 at 3:55 PM on November 2, 2015


Update: surgery went well on Saturday! I can't see anything out of that eye because they put a big gas bubble in it after taking out the eye goo and lasering holes and things so now I have to stay face down for two weeks so the bubble pushes my retina back into place. Super fun! My 7 year old says I need a monocle. Now I'll be searching old askmefi questions for podcast recommendations!
posted by artychoke at 6:46 AM on November 3, 2015 [14 favorites]


Ask vs Guess culture, Guess who won?

And yes, my worst nightmare too... here's wishing you a speedy recovery and thank you for sharing this with us
posted by infini at 2:33 PM on November 3, 2015


Yay for eyesight! Can you now tell us more about the Manos costume???
posted by AJaffe at 11:29 AM on November 5, 2015


I can not tell you more about the Manos costume because my 15 year old hasn't put it on for me yet. He's the worst. ("Sure I'll put it on in a minute...") I had made the giant black poncho thing out of a black tablecloth and gotten the kids to cut out the giant red hands but then didn't have a chance to sew the parts together. My mom slapped it together quickly but I wasn't there (or maybe I was asleep) when he went to the party and came home. He had plans to do a silhouette of Tom Servo, Crow and Joel but I don't think that happened. I have to get the kids to all put their costumes back on so I can see them and take a picture but they've been resisting so far. I'll just refuse to make Mardi Gras costumes until they do. It won't be a very cohesive picture - Manos Hands of Fate, Peter Pan and a bat.
posted by artychoke at 7:20 AM on November 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


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