MeFites, how should we pronounce your username?

August 24, 2017 1:36 PM

Following recent revelations that chris24's handle is pronounced chris-two-four aka christopher, we should probably all learn how everybody's usernames are pronounced, if it's not obvious (or maybe it is and we all collectively just don't see it).

Mine is pretty simple, but just in case: like "newman" and then "er", aka more than newman.

(yes, I'm purposely not linking to where we discussed chris24's name, for all of our sanity)

posted by numaner to MetaFilter-Related at 1:36 PM (401 comments total)

Throatwobbler Mangrove
posted by OHenryPacey at 1:43 PM on August 24, 2017 [58 favorites]

The p-tape is silent.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:45 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]

Throatwobbler Mangrove

well that's just completely unexpected!
posted by numaner at 1:51 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

Some folks call me ceege, pronounced SEEJ. I like it.
posted by cgc373 at 1:51 PM on August 24, 2017 [7 favorites]

Took me fucking YEARS to get clavdivs's username.
posted by Melismata at 1:52 PM on August 24, 2017 [37 favorites]

I was a geology student way back when and got tired of the nick 'geo' being taken on IRC and decided I needed a better spelling.

djeo == geo
posted by djeo at 1:52 PM on August 24, 2017 [12 favorites]

A classmate in college got her last name announced as McAwesome, as they asked everyone to include a phonetic pronunciation of their name. Her name wasn't particularly close to McAwesome. I was amused. And another college friend had the nickname of Deogee, because she asked how to pronounce D-O-G once, in some context I have now forgotten.

My MeFi handle is pretty basic, pronunciation-wise: fo-TAw-gra-fer.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:53 PM on August 24, 2017 [9 favorites]

I don't know how mine is pronounced.

The Roivas part was lifted from The Journal of Albion Moonlight by Kenneth Patchen, from a Godot-like figure called 'H. Roivas'.

The H was an alleged abbreviation of Heavenly, and Roivas is obviously Savior backwards.

At the time I was reading a lot of Beckett, Patchen, Ionesco and Jarry.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:54 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

Took me fucking YEARS to get clavdivs's username.

Might I gently suggest that in this thread, when we admit to finally getting something, we say what it is that we got?

I assume in this case it's that it's "claudius" with the "Latin V".
posted by Etrigan at 1:55 PM on August 24, 2017 [20 favorites]

Since it doesn't actually mean anything, whatever you thinks sounds right is right.
posted by farlukar at 1:59 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

Now is my chance to announce that my username is pronounced SWAYla-See. Not Sooo-lak.
posted by suelac at 1:59 PM on August 24, 2017 [50 favorites]

EcksWhyZeeZeeWhy. Because I'm contrarian like that.
posted by xyzzy at 2:00 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

Mine is tiva las vegas which was a nickname of mine in university because my initials are (sort of) TIVA and then it got lengthened from there to the tune of Viva Las Vegas.

I should've just gone with 'tiva'.
posted by tivalasvegas at 2:00 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

My last name is O'Mara, pronounced oh-MAIR-uh (not oh-MARR-uh).

K. O'Mara = komara, pronounced kay oh-MAIR-uh

however, in my years using this name on the internet I've found that without context it's guessed as 95% koh-MARR-uh and 5% kuh-MAIR-oh for some reason.
posted by komara at 2:01 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

Mxyzptlk, just like it's spelled.
posted by sammyo at 2:02 PM on August 24, 2017 [15 favorites]

Mine has always seemed straightforward to me but it's clearly not. JESS-uh-min. (no Z sound in there)
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 2:04 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

:: sits on edge of seat, waiting for XQUZYPHYR to arrive ::
posted by kate blank at 2:04 PM on August 24, 2017 [60 favorites]

Originally I thought it might be duh-FAN but everybody always pronounced it DEE-fan so that's become my canonical pronunciation.
posted by dfan at 2:06 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

I can't say how I pronounce "Etrigan", because my favorite part of getting on the podcast is when jessamyn tries to work out how to pronounce it.
posted by Etrigan at 2:09 PM on August 24, 2017 [14 favorites]

Am I old? I might be old.
posted by juv3nal at 2:09 PM on August 24, 2017 [10 favorites]

Mine is tiva las vegas which was a nickname of mine in university because my initials are (sort of) TIVA and then it got lengthened from there to the tune of Viva Las Vegas.

I should've just gone with 'tiva'.

My head-canon story will always be that you are from LV and enjoyed Teva footwear.
posted by nakedmolerats at 2:11 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

/ˈɛnsɛd/
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 2:12 PM on August 24, 2017 [13 favorites]

so toe no he toe

It shortens to "soto" most easily.

Or Throatwarbler Mangrove, that works too.
posted by sotonohito at 2:15 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

you don't.
posted by namewithoutwords at 2:15 PM on August 24, 2017 [37 favorites]

Mas queso por favor (I really like cheese ok)
posted by masquesoporfavor at 2:15 PM on August 24, 2017 [30 favorites]

Like that scene from Hot Rod. w-Hy do you ask?
posted by whuppy at 2:16 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

Actually, funny story: I took a friend to the ER a few years back, and for some reason I had it in my head that NSAID was an initialism, you know, EN ES AY EYE DEE. So I'm being all cool and jumped in to the conversation with the doc asking about a medication we had to pick up. "Yep," he squinted at me. "That's an en-sed."
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 2:16 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

Mine is easy. The county where I'm from - Worcestershire - less so for many.
posted by Wordshore at 2:17 PM on August 24, 2017 [23 favorites]

Mines straightfoward, but phunnieme( funny me) took way too long for me to get.
posted by AlexiaSky at 2:17 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]

ell-em-eff-silva
posted by lmfsilva at 2:17 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Mas queso por favor (I really like cheese ok)

I swear I thought it was "Masques, por favor", like you were ordering several lucha libre wrestlers.
posted by Etrigan at 2:18 PM on August 24, 2017 [52 favorites]

LobsterMitten = Lobster Mitt Romney
posted by guiseroom at 2:18 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

chris24's handle is pronounced chris-two-four aka christopher

You can pronounce my name MIND BLOWN.

But saving that, it's Emcee-Mike-Namara, rhymes with the Vietnam war criminal.

(I went through a phase of saying that about my actual last name too which my father said he hated but was secretly quite proud of.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:20 PM on August 24, 2017 [7 favorites]

guiseroom is an anagram of a word I made up: megorious
posted by guiseroom at 2:20 PM on August 24, 2017 [9 favorites]

I just ask that you please pronounce the underscores
posted by not_the_water at 2:21 PM on August 24, 2017 [27 favorites]

If we meet in person, just call me Jeff.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 2:23 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

I'm one of the E varieties of Chris. So "A Chris E".
posted by achrise at 2:23 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

Like this.
posted by chavenet at 2:30 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]

Claudius.
Or clav, pronounced claw-iv
posted by clavdivs at 2:30 PM on August 24, 2017 [10 favorites]

LobsterMitten = Lobster Mitt Romney

Hey now.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 2:31 PM on August 24, 2017 [24 favorites]

claw-iv

Claw-four?
posted by Melismata at 2:32 PM on August 24, 2017 [19 favorites]

1. clavdivs

I am embarrassed that it took me at least two years of pronouncing it "KLAV DIVS" until I realized, duh, it is Claudius with the u written as a v just as in the ancient depiction.

2. XQUZIFYR

Excuse-i-fier? As one who excuse-ifies?

3. darkstar

As one might expect. Though sometimes if feeling frisky, I pronounce the last syllable in the piratical sense, as "darkstARRRRR".
posted by darkstar at 2:32 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

Claw Four?
posted by tivalasvegas at 2:32 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

ooof, curses.
posted by tivalasvegas at 2:33 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

Claw-three was taken.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:33 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

chris24 is going to run out of favorites today because of this thread.

Thanks juv3nal for linking to the previous, I was slightly in a hurry and didn't think to check! That whole thread will get me through tomorrow! XQUZYPHYR never did check into that one...
posted by numaner at 2:33 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

dar-KEEL-dreh. It's a word from a long since abandoned adolescent conlang that has somehow stuck around as my username as long as I've been on the internet.
posted by darchildre at 2:35 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

I still say klav-divs in my head, and somehow, in my head it has semantic assonance with "crab claws" so usually I picture clavdivs typing away with pincers.
posted by nakedmolerats at 2:37 PM on August 24, 2017 [25 favorites]

dar-KEEL-dreh

I immediately thought "dark child"
posted by numaner at 2:39 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

Ezzra Nin Flur Řenče Anderson
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:43 PM on August 24, 2017 [7 favorites]

Siobhán.
posted by chococat at 2:43 PM on August 24, 2017 [11 favorites]

Lynn, SEE?!
posted by Lynsey at 2:47 PM on August 24, 2017 [9 favorites]

Just like it's spelled. This may help.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:47 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

I, too, read "clavdivs" phonetically for years.

I also spent way too long thinking that "uncleozzy" was not cleozzy. Whatever that means.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 2:55 PM on August 24, 2017 [40 favorites]

Just like this
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:55 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

I also spent way too long thinking that "uncleozzy" was not cleozzy. Whatever that means.

O.M.G.
posted by Melismata at 2:57 PM on August 24, 2017 [16 favorites]

There are many names that I originally read one way and later figured out but many of them I still read the wrong way even though I know the correct pronunciation. It's just 'correct' in my head and I get to say it however I want in my quiet voice.

I don't know if k8t is Katie or Kate T or neither but for a very long time I wondered why the extra 't' when Kate would just be k8. My brain just wanted it to be Kate and the extra t was silent.

My brain wants there to be Mac in MCMikeNamara. Emcee Mike Mac Namara. No idea why. I've never misread it but I always second guess my correct reading.

tivalasvegas just blew my tiny little mind. I read it almost exactly as intended but all jammed together as one word and I never noticed the obvious.

klav-divs is how I continue to read it and often I think of the vendor on The Simpsons selling khlav kalash. He's khlav-divvying.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 2:58 PM on August 24, 2017 [16 favorites]

Siobhán.

like this?
posted by numaner at 2:59 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

I also spent way too long thinking that "uncleozzy" was not cleozzy. Whatever that means.

Ha, I literally just saw uncle ozzy for the first time in your comment. Like thinking peacheater was pea cheater, I clearly have issues going past the first few letters in usernames.
posted by chris24 at 3:02 PM on August 24, 2017 [18 favorites]

I clearly have issues going past the first few letters in usernames.

Oh god, and we rely on your article summaries of what's on fire at any given moment
posted by tivalasvegas at 3:04 PM on August 24, 2017 [13 favorites]

I called myself "sprintf" when I was a young nerd (after the C string formatted function). Now, it just makes me sound old.
posted by SPrintF at 3:05 PM on August 24, 2017 [11 favorites]

There must be other people who do not know how to pronounce their own usernames. We're readers, not speakers! (#notallmefites)

I went to the OED to find how to pronounce my username. Looks as if my library no longer has a subscription to it. I am sad.
posted by paduasoy at 3:07 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

(Still secretly convinced that Logical Dash is a pony name.)
posted by SPrintF at 3:07 PM on August 24, 2017 [14 favorites]

Sailor
posted by the return of the thin white sock at 3:09 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

I went to the OED to find how to pronounce my username. Looks as if my library no longer has a subscription to it. I am sad.
posted by paduasoy

LMGTFY.
posted by tivalasvegas at 3:17 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

Am I the only one who occasionally conflates Eyebrows McGee and Frowner, imagining them as one scary judgmental face?
posted by idiopath at 3:18 PM on August 24, 2017 [41 favorites]

I consider MetaFilter to be a fully written medium with no oral equivalent so pronunciations are deeply irrelevant.

But my first username "wendell" was based on a radio DJ name that I always pronounced "WEN-dəll" not "wen-DELL". And I was always annoyed with people using alternate spellings of "Wendall" or "Wendel" (I'm looking at YOU: Arrested Development the band not the show).

"one-swell-foop" should be self-explanatory, but it is still rarely mangled as "on-es-well"... but nobody makes a mistake with "foop", it's "poof" spelled backwards. Still, people who 'un-spoonerism' it back to "one fell swoop" are my sworn enemies.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:21 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

etaFilter: a fully written medium with no Moral equivalent
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:23 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

Am I the only one who occasionally conflates Eyebrows McGee and Frowner, imagining them as one scary judgmental face?

YOU ARE NOT
posted by numaner at 3:24 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

Jim.
posted by bondcliff at 3:36 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

2. XQUZIFYR

Excuse-i-fier? As one who excuse-ifies?

Oh for fuck's actual sake how did I miss that.
posted by Etrigan at 3:38 PM on August 24, 2017 [20 favorites]

That's funny, Jim never has a second spelling at home.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:38 PM on August 24, 2017 [29 favorites]

Every time you try to say mines you just hear a beep
posted by bleep at 3:39 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

My MeFi handle is pretty basic, pronunciation-wise: fo-TAw-gra-fer.

You'd think so! In my 20+ years as an ESL teacher, this is the word that screws up almost every non-native speaker. Read on to find out why!

So, "photograph" is a pretty universal word, it is loaned into the vast bulk of languages. Most Euro languages have it either loaned from English or use a very similar word based on shared latin roots (not sure which, not an entymologist). So the takeaway here, almost everyone already knows the word "fotograf" before they start learning English...

So the thing is, in fo'TOgrafer the stress is in a really odd place. Usually the pattern is exactly the opposite, with 'FOto, 'FOto'GRAF, foto'GRAFik.. And really unusual for the stress to be shifted onto that unstressed syllable. And because so many languages also have some form very similar to the word "photographer", it is already wired into their brain to say it in their way. This is called L1 interference.

And because of the way vowel sounds get degraded in unstressed syllables, putting the stress wrong here really sounds wrong! fo-tuh-GRA-fer instead of fuh-TOG-ruh-fer

Anyways, you can try this out as a shibboleth, even quite advanced speakers will have trouble getting the stress onto the second syllable.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:50 PM on August 24, 2017 [35 favorites]

And I have said it before, but in my headcannon it is "Klang Klangson", i.e., Klang son of Klang. Jokes funnier that way, but I do not fault Mr. Klangston for getting his username wrong.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:02 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]

K. O'Mara = komara, pronounced kay oh-MAIR-uh

I trust this clarification will do nothing to end disagreement between cortex and jessamyn on the podcast.

I learned about ten years ago that clavdivs is "supposed" to be pronounced "Claudius" but I steadfastly cling to klav-divs. I refuse to allow my brain to change its pronunciation. (I mean, if we ever met in person of course I would pronounce your name however you prefer, but no one can control the voices inside my own head!)

I'm pretty sure that XQUZYPHYR is in the same category as clavdivs in that nothing said in this thread will change how I pronounce it in my head, but I don't really know how I pronounce it in my head - it's one of those ones that feels more like a visual symbol to me at this point.

I realized at some point that one of the MC or Mac names was actually Mac when I had been thinking it was MC, or vice versa, and now I get all of them confused. MCStayInSkool, MacSweetie, MCMikeNamara - sorry, one of you is the bad apple that's ruined it for all of you. I kinda think that I pronounced it McSweetie and it's supposed to be M C Sweetie? Anyway, sorry.
posted by nickmark at 4:05 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

"Math Owie"
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:19 PM on August 24, 2017 [36 favorites]

Like rubidium. In my head it seems clear, but it's been read as the name Luci occasionally.
posted by lucidium at 4:20 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

What if I told you my name is a reference to a tasty baked good and not an amphibian?
posted by mudpuppie at 4:24 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

Not a tasty baked amphibian?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:25 PM on August 24, 2017 [9 favorites]

We appear to have different tastes.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:26 PM on August 24, 2017 [15 favorites]

Her Jugs Lop
posted by Joseph Gurl at 4:35 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

Aw, sorry, oneswellfoop. I de-spoonerized you.
posted by acrasis at 4:37 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

That's a forking shame.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:38 PM on August 24, 2017

Oh, man. I'm glad somebody started this thread and I can get this off my chest. There was a similar discussion here, much narrower in scope, years and years ago. And at some point somebody said something along the lines of, "you know Artw, if your name was Welsh it would be pronounced 'art-oo.'" So ever since then Artw has been "artoo" to me, just like R2, based on that single offhand comment.

I have no idea how they actually like their handle to be pronounced. Sorry if that's wrong, Artw.
posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 4:44 PM on August 24, 2017 [16 favorites]

It's pronounced Chumley.

No. Emil Injure.

No. Em el en jay are.
posted by emelenjr at 4:45 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

Actually, the true pronounciation of my name involves phonemes that aren't present in any languages here on Earth. It sounds much better in the original Marain, I can assure you.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:01 PM on August 24, 2017 [16 favorites]

I have alexei to thank for the correct pronunciation of my username.
posted by ogooglebar at 5:08 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

My name's pronounced just the way you'd expect, except slightly louder.
posted by aubilenon at 5:08 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

Fizz. I'm not sure there's another way to pronounce my username.
posted by Fizz at 5:16 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

Occasionally I get someone who thinks I'm Greer mah honey. Nope. Greer, like Greer Nelson (Tigra) and Mahoney like Breathless Mahoney. 15 yo me thought this was the coolest name ever imagined, and I actually still have a few friends who call me Greer.

In other mispronunciations, my work nick is kchu (Hi work mefites! I guess I'm outed.) based off a really old computer system that created your username on some weird algorithm. I got one of the only pronounceable ones. But people at my current work sometimes call me kay-choo and I'm like "No! It's a sneeze! You have to sneeze when you want me to answer!"

And oddly, no one ever mispronounces my actual name. I'm not sure why I went with 2 less clear nicknames.
posted by greermahoney at 5:20 PM on August 24, 2017 [9 favorites]

Mochapickle sounds exactly how it looks and follows the same syllable stress pattern as MetaFilter: four syllables with the emphasis on the first syllable.
posted by mochapickle at 5:22 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

I have alexei to thank for the correct pronunciation of my username.
posted by ogooglebar

that reminds me, I take a small comfort that my full name is essentially ungoogleable
posted by numaner at 5:24 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Fizz. I'm not sure there's another way to pronounce my username.

violently
posted by numaner at 5:25 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

Moc hapickle?
Mo cha pickle?
WHAT????
posted by ramix at 5:25 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

Fuck me with a spoon! It's mocha pickle.

I will now slink quietly back under a rock!
posted by ramix at 5:26 PM on August 24, 2017 [11 favorites]

Fizz. I'm not sure there's another way to pronounce my username.

violently
posted by numaner

Touché.
posted by Fizz at 5:29 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

arr tee aitch ay

Or Eartha. Or Artha.
posted by rtha at 5:36 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

This thread is trip. Count me as part of the Chris Twenty Four group who had my mind blown.
So many other names too.

Mine is pretty easy. It's Jal-ee-ah. Though I do get Jal-I-ah a lot when it's spoken. It's usually shortened to just Jall-ee in voice chat. It's a name that I used in some online game way back when. I can't remember which one. I couldn't think of username and used their random name generator thingy. Something like Jalliah came up, I modified it because it sounded cool. I've ended up using it ever since. Mainly because it's a name that was barely ever taken and it just stuck.
posted by Jalliah at 5:41 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

Mine is pronounced: Great Dane. The meow is silent.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 5:46 PM on August 24, 2017 [40 favorites]

Fizz. I'm not sure there's another way to pronounce my username.
*opens bottle of seltzer, returns to thread all agog*
posted by miles per flower at 5:50 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

You can call me ray, you can call me jay, but you doesn't has to call me jenkin's ear.
posted by jenkinsEar at 5:59 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]

Stan Chick. In Polish, staɲt͡ʂɨk.
posted by Stanczyk at 6:02 PM on August 24, 2017 [9 favorites]

ogooglebar always makes me think of this.

Mine is easy, the zeroes are pronounced ooh and it's a question without a question mark. The answer is everybody!
posted by h00py at 6:03 PM on August 24, 2017 [12 favorites]

your humble (and) beloved commissioner
posted by yhbc at 6:06 PM on August 24, 2017 [19 favorites]

I will let Jerry explain.

Also, here is my picture.
posted by AugustWest at 6:07 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

You pee!
I pee!
We all pee for h00py!
posted by Meatbomb at 6:15 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

My username is easy enough to pronounce. However, in keeping with both the spirit of the thread, and my reputation as a raconteur, I offer this :

I've mentioned that back when I was young and pretty, I ran a chinese restaurant. Most of the BOH guys were latin-american from various places, and we got by OK on some sort of spanglish dialect. The head chef was pretty ESL deprived, however, and so he would leave me notes that started with "Diche," and whatever it was that he needed ordered or done in Spanish. A case of this, we're out of that, Jorge needs Tuesday off for an appt... Things like that. Between what Mexican Spanish I knew and a couple of dictionaries, this worked just fine. But I could never figure out the "Diche". I went to the library, and looked at all their dictionaries, I called friends who took Spanish in school - I even called a dude I knew in the Marines who was from Texas near the border to ask him if he had ever heard it.

Finally, I broke down and asked him. "You" he said and points at me - "Di Che!". Then the lights came on. My name is DJ and he spelled it phonetically, because why wouldn't he - that's what I did. I have rarely felt so stupid in my life, because if I had just said it out loud, it would have been that fucking obvious. Ever since then, whenever I am stumped on something I don't quite understand, but should, I say it out loud, because sometimes hearing the words works far better than reading them.

Today I became something! It's a major award!!
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 6:20 PM on August 24, 2017 [38 favorites]

yeah, you don’t pronounce mine either.
posted by tooloudinhere at 6:22 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

No special secrets about mine, and I'm feeling a little unimaginative about it, TBH.
posted by scratch at 6:25 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

Semi-related on the subject of names: I'm only Fizz because Fizban was already taken. Still, I'm glad that there's at least one other Dragonlance fan on this website. :)
posted by Fizz at 6:30 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

ogooglebar always makes me think of this.

Thanks, now I understand why another user once called me "ogooglebear".
posted by ogooglebar at 6:32 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]

I am now trying to determine if I enunciate the first "t" clearly or am I really just Poi Nee Stik? I think the latter.

I also spent way too long thinking that "uncleozzy" was not cleozzy. Whatever that means
I believe I've said this in metatalk before but I parsed it as "un cleozzy" as in a single unit of "cleozzy" whatever that was. Something in France I reckon.

I am terrible about reading too fast & imagining or deleting letters in usernames that just aren't there or being so wrong about associations. I always confused XQUZIFYR with that villain who tries to make Superman say his name backwards (turns out that is Mr. Mxyzptlk). Sorry, Xquzifyr.
posted by pointystick at 6:35 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

Brian K

because B rianK was too hard to pronounce.

Also, I ALWAYS got the whole clavdivs = claudius thing. But, to be fair, I took four years of Latin in high school.
posted by briank at 6:43 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Phonetically obvious, but for maximum correctness it should be howled with an intonation like the first 2-syllable vocalization of the siamangs in this old Sesame Street segment. (A much younger version of me coined my username by imitating said vocalization.)

This seems like a great place to admit that when I've been reading too much MeFi my subconscious sees usernames where there are none. Like, doing the dishes, and instead of "insinkerator" reading "invitapriore" (???).
posted by mubba at 6:44 PM on August 24, 2017 [7 favorites]

It is Chains O'Freedom . . . not Chains Of Freedom. Just one F!
posted by chainsofreedom at 6:45 PM on August 24, 2017 [10 favorites]

with an "umpty".
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:46 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

I am embarrassed that it took me at least two years of pronouncing it "KLAV DIVS" until I realized, duh, it is Claudius with the u written as a v just as in the ancient depiction.

That's you people get for having never read I, Claudius or watched the thrilling PBS mini-series.

Anyway, I pronounce my name "Goo goo gah joob."
posted by octobersurprise at 6:53 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

I'm strictly phonetic, though difficult to say quickly ten times in a row.
posted by flabdablet at 6:54 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

Mine is A-K-A burlap, not acka burlap.

And I always feel like I have to mention in these name threads that I KNOW that the "aka" part doesn't really make sense, but I wanted something "burlap" related and I didn't like just burlap by itself so I added the unnecessary "aka" to the front.

I am firmly on team Clav-Div, team pea-cheater and team "chris-2-4 blew my mind." I will continue to mentally mispronounce many user names with delight!
posted by aka burlap at 7:12 PM on August 24, 2017 [10 favorites]

I do pretty well at pronouncing it claudius in my head but it gets abbreviated to clav.

I think everyone who has actually addressed me more than once by my handle just uses r_n. I blame all of my fellow itinerants for the slightly awkward modifier.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 7:17 PM on August 24, 2017 [9 favorites]

My name is both the truth and a lie*, in that I live nearby the genesis of my nom de guerre, but am actually not named "max". Though my ever-expanding waistline is edging me closer to "max" being a truthy description.

* WTF is that hot garbage described on the historical society page...from the list of speakers, the cutesy "native" name for the "festival", the "educated" native woman as exhibit, and on and on. Yeesh. White people, ruining things since forever. I'm now scared to go down there, lest I discover some of those blasted confederate monuments.
posted by maxwelton at 7:30 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

That's you people get for having never read I, Claudius

I envy those people. What I wouldn't give to get to read that remarkable book for the first time again.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:34 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

Team clavdivs & un- cleozzy forever. But masquesoporfavor just blew my mind because I also read it as masques, O por favor! Like the need for masques was urgent. And by masques I was thinking less luchadore and more red death.
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:44 PM on August 24, 2017 [15 favorites]

Who am I?
posted by what's her name at 7:50 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

I only very belatedly realized that some people might think my name is yasa-man, as in, yasa as some sort of modifier for man. So I will take this opportunity to clarify that no, my name is just the Persian for jasmine, pronounced something like yaw-seh-man. It's also just a different version of my actual name, so I'll answer to it IRL.
posted by yasaman at 7:54 PM on August 24, 2017 [24 favorites]

UbuRoivas: I don't know how mine is pronounced.

For some reason I've always pronounced it 'OO-bee Roo-VWAH', like my brain unconciously rearranged the 'Roivas' as 'Rovois' and went 'you know, like Dubois'.

It sounds kinda like a character from Hitchhiker's Guide, or a Mos Eisley cantina regular.

Roivas is obviously Savior backwards

[mindblown.gif]
posted by obiwanwasabi at 7:54 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

Just in case:

"Empress" y'all probably got.

"Callipygos" = ka-LIP-a-gus.


....All y'all usually call me "EC" or just "Empress" anyway, which works too.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:59 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

/zamˈbəʊni/
posted by zamboni at 8:03 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

when you say cristina cristina cristina you have to dance around and sing it, because otherwise saying it is just a chore
posted by cristinacristinacristina at 8:09 PM on August 24, 2017 [14 favorites]

We have some great usernames here.

tiva, every time I read your name, I like to imagine Elvis singing it.

Btw, as I dont think they posted here yet, is the user with the long name with quonsar in it is that other quonsar, about whom I recall a vaguely complicated story?

Also, does it take anyone else time to acclimate to someone's RL name if you've only known them online by a username?

(Oh, and mine is of course pronounced nor- THERN lih-TAY.)
posted by NorthernLite at 8:11 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

I also read it as masques, O por favor! Like the need for masques was urgent.
Yes, this! mygothlaundry, I thought the same thing.
posted by pointystick at 8:17 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

Corporeal tongues never quite get it. They always mangle h.
posted by ghost phoneme at 8:24 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

The g in peagood is just as one would think one would pronounce it when saying GIF.
posted by peagood at 8:32 PM on August 24, 2017 [19 favorites]

Also, does it take anyone else time to acclimate to someone's RL name if you've only known them online by a username?

I still have trouble whenever anyone refers to cortex as "Josh."

My username is easily pronounced, I think. When I brand-new-day'd myself I was in the middle of my zillionth re-read of the Aubrey/Maturin books, and Stephen was spending a lot of time in the orlop, as one does. It's a pleasing little word, I think.
posted by Orlop at 8:37 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

Mine is Myth Er Al It's a corruption of Mithril and I'm not really sure how I got there but it's been my handle for a long time.

UbuRoivas: "I don't know how mine is pronounced."

I assumed it was Ew Boo Roy Vee Us; I didn't know what a Roy Vee Us is but Ew Boo was obviously a reference to this famous dog.
posted by Mitheral at 8:40 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

The first bit is: JUICE-oh.
Or, if you're not me: the CABAL.
posted by Juso No Thankyou at 8:44 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Canonical limeonaire pronunciation previously.
posted by limeonaire at 8:55 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

corb, corb, it rhymes with terrifying orb.
posted by corb at 9:09 PM on August 24, 2017 [16 favorites]

whenever someone asks me "poffin, how do you pronounce your name? is it POH-fin or PUH-fin?" i always tell them the same thing: how dare you speak to me
posted by poffin boffin at 9:12 PM on August 24, 2017 [59 favorites]

I've been in a number of shoving-matches about whether "miles" is one syllable or two,* but I guess I intend my name to rhyme with however you pronounce "miles per hour." (*My given name is in fact miles so I have some strong but shifting feelings about this; I've shoved on behalf of it sounding like "cows," like "pals," like "bibles," and like "files." Here as elsewhere, context generally wins.)
posted by miles per flower at 9:20 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

the more the ⬇
posted by maryr at 9:25 PM on August 24, 2017 [47 favorites]

sick-lid kay-lee

It's in the about section of my profile!
posted by cichlid ceilidh at 9:28 PM on August 24, 2017 [8 favorites]

You say mine 'axolotl'
posted by potrzebie at 9:41 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

I would prefer not to.
posted by bartleby at 9:43 PM on August 24, 2017 [47 favorites]

I have alexei to thank for the correct pronunciation of my username.

I can only hear...

ogooglebar, ogooglebar

how lovely are they branches

posted by maryr at 9:45 PM on August 24, 2017 [11 favorites]

And ahahaha I'm so excited someone else reads "Artw" as "R2". I studied Welsh for a minute in my teens and I've always felt a little weird because probably they intend it to be said "art w" but I can't not read that w as an "oo" and I came into this thread thinking "Man I hope someone brings up Artw I've been meaning to get this off my chest".
posted by potrzebie at 9:46 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

omg, poffin boffin is Jeff Goldblum, ohmygosh, ohmygosh
posted by maryr at 9:46 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

@Bent Franklin, I have ALSO spent my entire life 'explaining things to Imaginary Ben Franklin' as part of my inner monologue !!
posted by bartleby at 9:47 PM on August 24, 2017 [3 favorites]

I believe the *proper* pronunciation is something like [kriz-OSS-stum] but I mentally pronounce it [KRY-sos-tom].
posted by Chrysostom at 9:47 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

Basically it's "patter a LAY theist" except drop the final "t."

It's Koine Greek for Father of Truth, but really it's because my oldest kid is named Aletheia, and she was a baby when I joined, so I was overflowing with paternal affection and gave myself "Aletheia's Dad" as a screenname. The subsequent children have thus far expressed no jealously.

Also, I only got a B in Greek so around 15% of what I just wrote is probably wrong. I might not even be Aletheia's real dad.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:55 PM on August 24, 2017 [32 favorites]

wa-NEE-toe ahl-eh-LEE
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:00 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Oh Div.
posted by ODiV at 10:03 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

And, oh man, my dad pronounced "I, Claudius" as "I, Clavdivs" when I was a kid because he thought it was funny and I just assumed clavdivs had a similar dad and was also pronouncing it clavdivs.

>:(

I also never really realized that I considered Eyebrows McGee and Frowner to be one disapproving entity, but I totally do.

This thread has been a surprisingly emotional ride for me!
posted by potrzebie at 10:18 PM on August 24, 2017 [11 favorites]

It's the sound of a baby elephant trumpeting, according to the highly regarded zoology journal, Zoobies.
posted by terooot at 10:27 PM on August 24, 2017 [11 favorites]

Kerf rhymes with serf. Or surf. Or turf. Or surf and turf.
posted by kerf at 10:27 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

I remember this being a problem in a podcast, but "Seazer" is a homophone of "seizer", like the traditional English pronunciation of "Caesar".
posted by J.K. Seazer at 10:30 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]

AFAB is an acronym for Assigned Female at Birth. Most people pronounce it AY-fab. But fabulous has the stress on "fab." I've decided that sounds better, so it's ay-FAB-yu-luss.
posted by AFABulous at 10:37 PM on August 24, 2017 [18 favorites]

But...Ubu Roivas?! I'm so confused.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 10:39 PM on August 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Spa C. Emanst IX, please. I come from a long line of medicinal bathers.
posted by SpacemanStix at 10:40 PM on August 24, 2017 [10 favorites]

Imagine wearing a pointy helmet when saying it and you should get the general gist.
posted by Otto Franz Joseph Leopold von Soxen-Puppetten at 10:40 PM on August 24, 2017 [9 favorites]

Just don't call me Rolando Feld and we'll be just fine.
posted by RolandOfEld at 10:45 PM on August 24, 2017 [16 favorites]

I always figured "potrzebie" to be Polish? po-CHEB-yeh?
posted by Meatbomb at 10:46 PM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

Also, does it take anyone else time to acclimate to someone's RL name if you've only known them online by a username?

I am connected to mefites on Facebook and I have no idea who most of them are in the other place. And Twitter makes a 3rd dimension, if they have a different username. It's jarring when someone mentions a mefi comment on Facebook and I suddenly realize, oh no, they're that guy?
posted by AFABulous at 10:47 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

I am proud to be ugh hum bull nude a brank
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:55 PM on August 24, 2017 [5 favorites]

But...Ubu Roivas?! I'm so confused.

For real. Never picked up on the "savior" bit.

Also: Metafilter: oh no, they're that guy?
posted by Pink Frost at 11:24 PM on August 24, 2017 [6 favorites]

Vah-kah-PEEN-ta
posted by vacapinta at 11:52 PM on August 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

mine's just a pormanteau (is that this is called?) of cendawan + wanita = because i'm a lady who loves mushrooms. anyway malay never has a hard c so it's basically chen (flat e) + dha + wa + nee + ta. once or twice a mefite has called me cenda, which i find cute honestly.
posted by cendawanita at 12:18 AM on August 25, 2017 [13 favorites]

Mine is pretty simple, but just in case: like "newman" and then "er", aka more than newman.

posted by numaner

Ah. I'm sure most of us had been thinking:

Présent:
je numane
tu numanes
il/elle numane
nous numanons
vous numanez
ils/elles numanent

Imparfait:
je numanais
tu numanais
il/elle numanait
nous numanions
vous numaniez
ils/elles numanaient

...
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:18 AM on August 25, 2017 [27 favorites]

Like you are two and spitting something nasty out.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 1:22 AM on August 25, 2017 [6 favorites]

Like a bite of baking chocolate.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 1:26 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

ˈfra.u.la

Corsican for strawberry because I wanted to change from my French nick (fraise) and Corsican is awesome.
posted by fraula at 2:04 AM on August 25, 2017 [15 favorites]

That's really nice fraula. But if you do travel to Mexico you might want to be careful of calling yourself 'fresa' :)
posted by vacapinta at 2:23 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

teh-ruh-tyoo (I will take a "too" on the end from anyone who isn't British), also a member of club "this was not intended for saying out loud".

Got it from the random words on an inexplicably French image captcha when I was signing up for OK Cupid a few years ago.
posted by terretu at 2:27 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

I can't speak for my mefi username twin but usefully, here is an audio of how to pronounce my username in the British fashion, which as I am currently resident in the UK/raised on UK English is what I would say.

This is apparently the American version.
posted by halcyonday at 2:28 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

And damn am I glad that fraula is actually meant to be a strawberry connection! It has been dinging the strawberry-related-words button in my head (that's definitely a button) ever since I first saw your name and I am stoked that the association was right.
posted by terretu at 2:29 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

For most of my life I thought "potrzebie" was a word made up for MAD magazine, since (1) it appeared in it so often over 6 decades and (2) the combination of consonants "trz" seemed unlikely to appear in any logical language... but after I discovered it originated in Polish, it made more sense.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:30 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

Like this
posted by wheek wheek wheek at 2:50 AM on August 25, 2017 [7 favorites]

quidnunc (/ˈkwɪdnʌŋk/, "kwid-nunk")

Formal / long form: the quidnunc kid
Neutral / short form: quidnunc kid
Neutral ("first name basis"): quidnunc
Informal: quid
Diminutive: quiddy
Suitably obsequious: The Dark Lord His Majestic Holiness President Pope Field Marshall Taoiseach Padishah Emperor Chief Justice Maharajah Khal Princess quidnunc kid caesar of all the Russias OBE, the black goat of the woods with a thousand young [STAFF].<sup>1

1</sup> please vote #1 at your convenience.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:50 AM on August 25, 2017 [42 favorites]

pipeski is pipe-ski, not pip-eskee, although I really have no idea if anyone would pronounce it that way.
posted by pipeski at 3:05 AM on August 25, 2017 [10 favorites]

Until this moment I hadn't realized the black goat of the woods was in the "quiver-full" movement and now I am for reals terrified.
posted by maxwelton at 3:15 AM on August 25, 2017 [6 favorites]

Formal / long form: the quidnunc kid
Neutral / short form: quidnunc kid
Neutral ("first name basis"): quidnunc
Informal: quid
Diminutive: quiddy

Whoa dude: the quidster
posted by farlukar at 3:24 AM on August 25, 2017 [6 favorites]

cube
posted by kewb at 3:45 AM on August 25, 2017 [8 favorites]

I always thought mine was super obvious and sold explanatory, then one day I spoke to a bunch of old irc friends on some old voice chat service, and half of them were saying "die-sk" (like the first syllable in Dyson) rather than "disk". I've taken to using Dyskette as a handle since then in an effort to avoid that.

"Die-sk"
*shudder*
posted by Dysk at 3:48 AM on August 25, 2017 [11 favorites]

Whenever I see a post by clavdivs, I take a moment to say "KLAVDIVS" out loud! It always tickles me. KLAV-DIVS. Lol. Even knowing it's actually pronounced Claudius does not take away the joy it affords me.
posted by Ziggy500 at 3:53 AM on August 25, 2017 [19 favorites]

Actually the technically correct pronounciation is Christopher-Thrice-Octad, but one will reluctantly let it pass in the nature of restored MeFite harmony.

As much as one adores this place, the adverb 'thrice' also remains woefully underused on MetaFilter; this saddens one greatly.
posted by Wordshore at 3:53 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

Just the same as the word is pronounced.
posted by octothorpe at 4:02 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

Ghee (like the butter used in Indian cooking) Dora (like the explorer).

It took me a while, but I figured out clavdivs years ago. That hasn't stopped me from always thinking "clav divs" everytime I see the name.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:11 AM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

like the Stevie Wonder song that Jeff Beck covered
posted by thelonius at 4:13 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

Formal / long form: the quidnunc kid
Neutral / short form: quidnunc kid
Neutral ("first name basis"): quidnunc
Neutral / Chaotic: quidnunc the destroyer
Neutral / Lawful: quidnunc the protector
posted by EndsOfInvention at 4:46 AM on August 25, 2017 [8 favorites]

Ever since I saw I, Claudius as a kid I've pronounced the name "clav-divs".
posted by octothorpe at 4:50 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

prah-tso-VEE-tee
posted by pracowity at 5:16 AM on August 25, 2017 [13 favorites]

pipeski is pipe-ski, not pip-eskee, although I really have no idea if anyone would pronounce it that way.

OMG I DO. Or did. More like pih-PESS-key, really. Damn.

Mine seems super boring now, after the other thread and this one.
posted by cooker girl at 5:50 AM on August 25, 2017 [10 favorites]

Three short i's, accent on the rid.
posted by Iridic at 5:52 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

papaya ninja. Because I was once a middle school boy.
posted by papayaninja at 6:04 AM on August 25, 2017 [6 favorites]

Ip sih FEN duss. From this panel of Edward Gorey's "The Untitled Book".
posted by Ipsifendus at 6:14 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

As you normally would when alluding to strength, force, power, energy, vigor, or brawn like that of a rod.
posted by rodlymight at 6:25 AM on August 25, 2017 [7 favorites]

Pronounced like "Kevin" but with a "t-" instead of "k-".

I know some people have thought it was supposed to be like "Steven" without an "s-" but no.
posted by Tevin at 6:31 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

Just so you guys know, yeah of course it's uncle ozzy.

Also of course I say clav-divs even if I know better.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:34 AM on August 25, 2017 [6 favorites]

krazor is a my attempt at a decorruption of a middle school friend's AIM screen name. Something like:

_xXxkrAyayaaX0rxzzxXx_

I omit the part where it sounds like you swallow the mechanism for a garbage disposal.
posted by Krazor at 6:39 AM on August 25, 2017 [12 favorites]

hi-droe-si-key It's the scientific name of a caddis fly. From Greek, where it means water soul. In science, it means this little caterpillar-ish aquatic larva who builds a net to filter feed in fast moving streams, and then grows up to be a small, mothish thing that has sex and dies pretty quickly thereafter. Unfortunately, dominance of my genus can be an indicator of poor water quality, but I work in urban streams so that's okay.
posted by hydropsyche at 6:43 AM on August 25, 2017 [12 favorites]

I omit the part where it sounds like you swallow the mechanism for a garbage disposal.

Sort of like a garburator?
posted by rodlymight at 6:52 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

So-fee. The 1 is silent.
posted by Sophie1 at 6:57 AM on August 25, 2017 [15 favorites]

The u's are somewhere between "oo" and "uh," the a's are short. It means frog frog in Swahili - when I joined Metafilter, I had just gotten a sweet frog ring and I was procrastinating on a Swahili assignment.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:01 AM on August 25, 2017 [13 favorites]

Also, if you want to you can use my name to replace the chorus of this tune.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:02 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

The master himself pronounced it "Zoice" which rhymes with "choice" and sounds like something Shaggy would say while running from a man in a monster outfit. But SUE-ss or SUE-ess are also acceptable due to popular pronunciation.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 7:22 AM on August 25, 2017 [6 favorites]

> I only very belatedly realized that some people might think my name is yasa-man, as in, yasa as some sort of modifier for man. So I will take this opportunity to clarify that no, my name is just the Persian for jasmine, pronounced something like yaw-seh-man.

Thanks, یاسمن‏ !

> mine's just a pormanteau (is that this is called?) of cendawan + wanita = because i'm a lady who loves mushrooms.

For the benefit of those without a Malay dictionary:

cendawan "a generic name for fungi (mostly Agarici); a mushroom"

wanita "female; a woman (more polite than perempuan)"

Wanita is from Sanskrit वनिता (vanitā); I don't know the etymology of cendawan.

This is a very educational thread; thanks for posting it, Newman-er!
posted by languagehat at 7:24 AM on August 25, 2017 [20 favorites]

Mine is obviously easy to pronounce but I have a funny mefi handle story. Mini McGee, then 7, was cuddled up to me on the couch when I was catching up on staff stuff and at some point stopped watching his TV show and started reading over my shoulder and he said, "LOBSTERMITTEN? WHO'S A LOBSTERMITTEN?" and then after a couple seconds, "Wait, mom, are you Eyebrows?" and I said, "yes, sweetie, we use usernames at my work, people have real names but also special metafilter nicknames." I relayed this to staff because it was amusing and LM suggested he should come up with his own nickname. And his eyes got big and his face lit up and he thought REALLY HARD before announcing that his MetaFilter name, when he grew up, was going to be

HIGH SPEED LOVER

because he likes trains, you see.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 7:25 AM on August 25, 2017 [97 favorites]

So my name is pronounced as you would expect, Literary Hero. However, the reason I chose it is incredibly stupid and I should get it off my chest.

As a young boy using a modem to connect to BBSes, I used the name Kid Antrim because I was obsessed with Billy the Kid. When I got a little older I started using the name JudoChop in Lineage and other online games because I "outgrew" Billy the Kid but somehow Austin Powers was cool.

After a few more years I decided I was an adult and needed a more serious name and in an act of incredibly un-self-aware behavior I chose Literaryhero. Not because I wanted to be like Arthur Dent, but because I wanted to be Douglas Adams. I thought that I would easily become the best novelist of my generation (I obviously haven't, and have never really written anything longer or more substantive than this comment). Oh how I regret it now, but by the time I gained the perspective to realize how ridiculous it all was, I had made too many lifelong friends to change. So now I am stuck with it, and even though it isn't obvious to others exactly how egotistical the name is, every time I think about it I feel shame. So yeah, you can pronounce it "jerk face" if you want, it is probably more accurate than my pronunciation.
posted by Literaryhero at 7:31 AM on August 25, 2017 [17 favorites]

The "pa" has a soft a sound, then the "ph" is an f like you'd expect, the "nu" is kind of like the word new, or maybe actually noo is closer ....

wait shit which account is this
posted by solotoro at 7:32 AM on August 25, 2017 [19 favorites]

HIGH SPEED LOVER

sounds like a early-70s band that wrote songs about truckers, sorta golden-earring-ish. what a good username :3
posted by dismas at 7:35 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

HIGH SPEED LOVER

What you forgot is that people often remove spaces and shorten the spelling of their usernames, so it would probably be "hispeedlover", which people would mispronounce as "his peed lover" and well we know where that leads.
posted by Literaryhero at 7:42 AM on August 25, 2017 [20 favorites]

It's DES-weh-tood. Desuetude is a word which is itself falling into desuetude. (SO META!)

When I was going to more IRL meetups, I got "de-SWAY-eh-tood" or "des...[puzzled shruggo]" often enough that I just put the pronunciation right in my profile.
posted by desuetude at 7:45 AM on August 25, 2017 [12 favorites]

So it turns out I've been mispronouncing most of these names wrong in my mind, adding extra syllables or transposing letters, even seemingly straightforward ones like RolandOfEld which I, due to the 7pt type on my iPad screen, read as Eid, as in Eid Al Fitr. But cendawanita, got that one right straight away.

Mine, it's a phone number. I didn't include the rest of it because then anyone could call me.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:47 AM on August 25, 2017 [8 favorites]

High speed-lover... hrm, dunno.
posted by farlukar at 7:47 AM on August 25, 2017

Fizz. I'm not sure there's another way to pronounce my username.
*opens bottle of seltzer, returns to thread all agog*

Not all (for me) grog?

Mygothlaundry, for years I always thought your name was spelled Mythgothlaundry, and sounded it my head as such: a myth about goths doing their laundry? Some obscure reference? Then I had to type it out on Metachat or something, and was like, whoa, no th there, wth??
posted by Melismata at 7:49 AM on August 25, 2017

The E is silent
posted by soelo at 8:01 AM on August 25, 2017 [11 favorites]

People think I am a stool.

I am not a stool.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:02 AM on August 25, 2017 [19 favorites]

notorious medium because there's only one biggie.
posted by notorious medium at 8:07 AM on August 25, 2017 [15 favorites]

I say KATT-ull-us

You say ka-TULL-us

I say it's a reference to a 1st Century BC Roman poet and should follow Classical Latin pronunciation rules.

You say that Medieval Latin has a long, storied history and we should let language evolve and change.

KATT-ull-us
ka-TULL-us

Classical Latin
Medieval Latin

Let's call the whole thing off.
posted by Kattullus at 8:10 AM on August 25, 2017 [40 favorites]

Notorious Me^TM?
posted by Grither at 8:12 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

And I always read mine as rhyming with hither, and not one of the pronunciations of either (EYE-ther). But feel free to say it in your head however you like!
posted by Grither at 8:19 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

In a Fred Schneider sprechgesang.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 8:26 AM on August 25, 2017 [26 favorites]

z'eeg-NU-all, with a little uptone at the end, like it's a question except it isn't?
posted by signal at 8:28 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

In a Fred Schneider sprechgesang.

There is absolutely no other way. Every single time.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:29 AM on August 25, 2017 [13 favorites]

I know genders are (optional) in profiles but it'd be interesting to do a thread on those because oftentimes I am surprised that someone is male/female/nonbinary and it challenges my assumptions.

Same thing with race and country of origin, although that may be a more loaded topic.

(white American dude here, loves mayonnaise and can't eat anything spicier than mild salsa)
posted by AFABulous at 8:31 AM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

Primiti Too Taa
posted by pracowity at 8:34 AM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

Dwoogo Chy (rhymes with shy).

I think I'm one of the few who has almost always included pronunciation in their profile from pretty much the get-go.
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:37 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

can't eat anything spicier than mild salsa)

OMG THERE IS MORE THAN ONE OF US IN THE WORLD HOORAY!!!! <3
posted by Melismata at 8:44 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

Like this.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:53 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

Whoa dude: the quidster

El quidderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

Mine is pronounced with a silent underscore and TeXs to "busted_crayons" because I forgot the braces. "busted" is a fairly arbitrary adjective, and "crayons" is spousal_crayons's word for "crazy/cray cray/behaving in an inexplicable fashion" when I'm the subject.
posted by busted_crayons at 8:55 AM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

> I say it's a reference to a 1st Century BC Roman poet and should follow Classical Latin pronunciation rules.

Oh man, I hate to tell you this after all these years, but the second syllable in Catullus is long (ends with a double consonant) and thus gets the stress in Classical Latin as well. Time to change your own pronunciation!
posted by languagehat at 8:58 AM on August 25, 2017 [13 favorites]

[explosion sound]
posted by castlebravo at 9:02 AM on August 25, 2017 [10 favorites]

maryr?

I never even datdr!

Seazer?

I never even datdr!

"his peed lover" and well we know where that leads.

An affection for old skool arcade games?
 
posted by Herodios at 9:09 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

My username? Let me tell you about my user name.

It's pronounced exactly the same as my birth name, Herodios Ardea.

I don't really mind whether you say /hurr-ODE-ee-os/ or /hair-ODE-ee-os/. Like, some people call the crooked river /kai-a-GARDENIMPLEMENT-gah/ and some call it /kai-a-SWINE-uh/. Eh.

It's no treat having 'odious' apparently in one's name, but there it is.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got all these bluegills to spear.
 
posted by Herodios at 9:10 AM on August 25, 2017 [7 favorites]

(Actually, my username is pronounced to rhyme with "Vasco da Gama", which is probably obvious but maybe not.)
posted by tobascodagama at 9:16 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

Cromarty
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 9:23 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

"submission"
posted by nixon's meatloaf at 9:23 AM on August 25, 2017 [7 favorites]

cendawan "a generic name for fungi (mostly Agarici); a mushroom"

wanita "female; a woman (more polite than perempuan)"

Wanita is from Sanskrit वनिता (vanitā); I don't know the etymology of cendawan.


yea, i don't know whether it's a loanword or a true austronesian word either. For what it's worth, it seems to be shared across most if not all of the local indigenous groups. fun fact about the sanskrit 'v' in malay/indonesian: the regional speakers leaned more to w more than v for that character, so the sanskrit loanwords with character became articulated with that w sound, so we actually had no 'v' consonant until it was reintroduced to us during european colonialism.
posted by cendawanita at 9:24 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

VEER-ah-go.
posted by virago at 9:31 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

As a Netherlander I'm happy that Meatbomb gives words to the challenges of English pronunciation if it's a second language for you.
Even worse than phoTOgrapher is suPERfluous. Every European talking to other Europeans in English knows the correct pronunciation should be SUperFLUous.

I guess choosing my username I didn't think of anglophones. It's a Dutch first name and it's not pronounced dzyookie.
Well, at least I didn't choose a Dutch first name like Freek, Harm or Wierd.
posted by jouke at 9:45 AM on August 25, 2017 [6 favorites]

I have definitely learned from this thread that I was pronouncing several English words wrong my whole life.

(NEB-you-luh WIND-phone, "wind" like the meteorological phenomenon and not like the act of coiling something.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:46 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

Mine is just how you say it in French. (Btw now that I've had it for like, eight years (?!?) it's super weird to see it all over a Wikipedia article.)
posted by en forme de poire at 9:56 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

When I was a tween, I embarrassed myself by pronouncing "horizon" like "horizontal" without the "tal." I'd only ever read it to that point.
posted by AFABulous at 10:01 AM on August 25, 2017 [11 favorites]

I came in with the intention of ctrl+f'ing "Throatwobbler Mangrove" and didn't even have to.

The underscores in my username are silent.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 10:07 AM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

PLOO-tore

I've heard "plutter" often enough that I've had this in my profile here for, like, years.
posted by Plutor at 10:09 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

"Lead" like the element.
posted by Cash4Lead at 10:23 AM on August 25, 2017 [8 favorites]

Oh thank you Cash4Lead I've been wondering about that for ages!!
posted by Melismata at 10:27 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

Love the Cash4Lead name. "What's the angle, where's the scam? Those bastards have mastered transmutation I bet!"
posted by Meatbomb at 10:32 AM on August 25, 2017 [9 favorites]

Copper MOSS, not COPPER moss.
posted by coppermoss at 10:37 AM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

Big McLargehuge.

(loo-SYN-da)

can't eat anything spicier than mild salsa

Lookit you with your spicy eating!
posted by Lucinda at 10:47 AM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

Like Hamlet, sorta.

In other news, in my world it's still McNikonCamera, Claff-diffs and Káttullus with a thick "l", like on Finska Timmen in the radio.
posted by Namlit at 10:51 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

"Empress" y'all probably got.

"Callipygos" = ka-LIP-a-gus.

I'll be honest, every time I see your name my first instinct is to say "Empress Calypso", for no reason other than it rolls off the tongue.
posted by numaner at 10:54 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

Ah. I'm sure most of us had been thinking:

Présent:
je numane
tu numanes
il/elle numane
nous numanons
vous numanez
ils/elles numanent

Imparfait:
je numanais
tu numanais
il/elle numanait
nous numanions
vous numaniez
ils/elles numanaient

...

omg thanks for this, so many possibilitieesssss
posted by numaner at 10:55 AM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

I was anything-spicier-than-mild-salsa intolerant for the first 50 years of my life. One of the few items I admitted buying at WalMart was their house-brand "Extra Mild Salsa". Yeah, a tomato and bell pepper relish. Totally gringo chutney. I've mentioned the agony and embarrassment I experienced when I mistook wasabi for guacamole at a work-catered sushi lunch. But since I have been declared Officially Disabled, my tastebud oversensitivity has been partially disabled too. Still, I'm only on my SECOND bottle of Huy Fong Sriracha since it became trendy around 2010. (And I am a garlic LOVER, which immediately made it preferable to anything else considered 'hot sauce'). But I'm good on anything rated Medium now, though I prefer stuff where the graphic thermometer rests between the Mild and Medium.

Anyway, shoutout to MeFite sriracha with a special request for you to tell how YOU pronounce your username. (I compare it to potrzebie, pronunciation-wise)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:25 AM on August 25, 2017

If we meet in person, just call me Jeff.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 5:23 PM

Yeah since my very first meetup people have asked about my nick and whether it's hard z etc and I say "it's pronounced Don." Since it came out of an old IRC nickname there were, when dinosaurs roamed USENET, people who'd call me "fear" on the rare occasions I'd see them in person. But I think it's been at least a decade since that last happened so it doesn't much count.
posted by phearlez at 11:27 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

capnsue = cap'n sue. like cap'n crunch, but sue. it came from my new jersey hardcore wrestling federation name, captain sue albano. thank you.
posted by capnsue at 11:58 AM on August 25, 2017 [10 favorites]

re(becca) + wil(son)
posted by rewil at 12:09 PM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

Though, to be fair, nowadays I pronounce it in my head with a long e due to someone else's repeated use so it's more reewil.
posted by rewil at 12:11 PM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

i think my next screen name anywhere will be gongruy muyen
posted by numaner at 12:12 PM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

capnsue = cap'n sue. like cap'n crunch, but sue.

I always thought of cap-n-trade, only more litigious. But now I'll have in mind a pirate. A litigious pirate.
posted by darkstar at 12:16 PM on August 25, 2017 [11 favorites]

languagehat: Oh man, I hate to tell you this after all these years, but the second syllable in Catullus is long (ends with a double consonant) and thus gets the stress in Classical Latin as well. Time to change your own pronunciation!

Your Latin is much better than mine, but my internal logic is that the double t alters the pronunciation. If I've been wrong all these years, I'll happily change my pronunciation.
posted by Kattullus at 12:23 PM on August 25, 2017

AP-uh-thee-gurl, also pronounced as meh/mɛ/.
posted by ApathyGirl at 12:26 PM on August 25, 2017 [11 favorites]

Uh, ask languagehat.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 12:26 PM on August 25, 2017 [18 favorites]

Catullus is one I always confuse with Kallistos (yes, I know they mean different things, but the brain is a wonderful place) and they both occupy the same neighborhood of neural network as Cthulhu, so every time I see any of these names I get a sort of literary synesthesia of Latin poetry, Greek mythology and Lovecraftian horror.
posted by darkstar at 12:30 PM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

I don't say it out loud. It's an acronym from when I used to play a certain game obsessively.

Perhaps di-whippy?
posted by dywypi at 12:33 PM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

y clavdivs
posted by y2karl at 1:07 PM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

A customer just signed off from our phone call by saying, "Stay glitter" and I am this close to changing my username to that.

Stay glitter, MetaFilter.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:10 PM on August 25, 2017 [36 favorites]

Wait, wait, wait. So the town is dirty with... old glitter? Now THAT was unexpected!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:13 PM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

My ex and I used to have this joke where, I don't even remember why this was funny, but we used to sing Dirty Old Town to each other except with the lyric changed to Pervy Old Clown. So that's what I get stuck in my head now when I see DirtyOldTown's username. This is probably one of those stories that sounds better in your head than it does when you actually start saying it out loud, isn't it.
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:21 PM on August 25, 2017 [7 favorites]

hi-droe-si-key It's the scientific name of a caddis fly.

I had you in my moth trap yesterday.
posted by Bloxworth Snout at 1:24 PM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

no it's a great story from now on whenever I see your name I'm going to think of pervywindphone.
posted by numaner at 1:24 PM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

No it sounds pretty good when I say it out loud, too.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:25 PM on August 25, 2017

Hermione was now teaching Krum to say her name properly; he kept calling her “Hermy-own.”

“Her-my-oh-nee,” she said slowly and clearly.

“Herm-own-ninny.”

"Close enough," she said, catching Harry's eye and grinning.

posted by Hermione Granger at 1:25 PM on August 25, 2017 [12 favorites]

Fig. Pronounced Fig. Kinda boring, but easy.

However, it's a shortened version of my dog's name (Figlet), and sometimes I overpronounce it when I'm talking to him and turn it into 'Feeeeeeeg leeeeeet' or 'Fee-gah-lee-to' or "eeet's a Feeeg!" , so I'd accept 'Feeg' too.
posted by Fig at 1:29 PM on August 25, 2017 [6 favorites]

Fig etta bout it!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:30 PM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

> A customer just signed off from our phone call by saying, "Stay glitter" and I am this close to changing my username to that.

Don't you ever change DirtyOldTown—it cheers me up every time I see it!

> If I've been wrong all these years, I'll happily change my pronunciation.

The rules for Latin accentuation are simple and implacable: "1. Accent the second-to-last syllable, unless that syllable is short." Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
posted by languagehat at 1:47 PM on August 25, 2017 [11 favorites]

Dee Bee Mick-Dee - prosaic enough, just initials.
posted by dbmcd at 1:58 PM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]

Hehehe, wouldn't be the first time I overcomplicate my way to wrongth. I guess that all these years everyone else was right about how to pronounce my username and I was wrong.
posted by Kattullus at 2:20 PM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

empty
posted by MT at 2:55 PM on August 25, 2017 [8 favorites]

i just came in to tell rtha that i always pronounced her name "eartha", as in Kitt. And i was properly astounded when she told the origin.
posted by FirstMateKate at 3:04 PM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

When it come to accenting syllables...

Ac-cent... u-ate the positive,
E-lim-in-ate the negative,
Laminate the fricative
And don't mess with Mister Rogers' Neighborhood...

(then again, I pronounce it syl-LA-ble, just to mess with people)
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:21 PM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

Mine's pronounced the way Captain Sternn says it in this clip.

I've had a few user names online over the years. In the early 80s, on DC-local BBSes, I was "Lord Mhoram" (because teenage me LOVED the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant). I carried that name into my years playing Air Warrior on GEnie (tail #5868, Damned REPRESENT).

In the 90s, I found LARPing (well, except, we call it a "full-contact fantasy combat sport"). Right about the same time I turned the corner on fighting and started getting competent, I re-watched Heavy Metal, and something about the ending of the scene I linked above spoke to me, so I took 'Hanover Fiste' as my in-game character name.

Synchronously, the old DynoDNS service (where I'd been happily running a subdomain for years) decided to close up shop. I wanted to register a new vanity domain, hanover.com was taken, so (at my then-GF's prompting) I made it all 1337 by changing the e to 3. And that's stuck as a username since then, something like 15 years at this point.
posted by hanov3r at 3:27 PM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

[derail] On another site, there's someone going by the handle pough; a nickname specifically chosen for the pronunciation ambiguity (pof/pow/poo/?) [/derail]
posted by farlukar at 3:28 PM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

The stress is on the Underpants.

(I also hear "Artw" as "R-2," and picture them as a Welsh battle droid.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:47 PM on August 25, 2017 [7 favorites]

MetaFilter: the stress is on the underpants.
posted by Wordshore at 3:58 PM on August 25, 2017 [17 favorites]

The stress is on the Underpants.

There's no need to brag.
posted by Etrigan at 4:06 PM on August 25, 2017 [26 favorites]

The "G" is hard, the "ou" is oo.

I guess I like climbing the occasional Mountain of Literature so I can read whatever I like the rest of the time. Also, finding lost time (it's often in the couch).
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:07 PM on August 25, 2017 [6 favorites]

. . . finding lost time (it's often in the couch).

I yoosta keep three minutes in my shoe for an emergency phone call, but I guess that joke doesn't really work any more, what with your new-phangled moe-biyul phones and all.
 
posted by Herodios at 4:14 PM on August 25, 2017 [8 favorites]

"uncleozzy" this took me a good half hour, and three read overs. Then a while wondering what cleozzy is, what it could mean. Ha ha ha.
posted by Oyéah at 7:28 PM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

prah-tso-VEE-tee
posted by pracowity at 5:16 AM on August 25 [6 favorites +] [!]

See, now I had built up this thing called "pracowity," which is the state or quality of being pracow. "She was consumed with pracowity." I don't know what "pracow" was supposed to mean, I think I was waiting for a thread like this to tell me.

Mine is pronounced "ghif," of course.
posted by rhizome at 7:47 PM on August 25, 2017 [11 favorites]

Oyéah, pronounced Oh yeah? Like a childhood taunt, fight me!
posted by Oyéah at 8:09 PM on August 25, 2017 [7 favorites]

doctor lið (though liθ is also acceptable) -- I got the cure for whatever's ailing your philosophy.
posted by drlith at 8:10 PM on August 25, 2017 [8 favorites]

LV&
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:20 PM on August 25, 2017 [9 favorites]

GOOD-roon
posted by gudrun at 9:40 PM on August 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

The rules for Latin accentuation are simple and implacable: "1. Accent the second-to-last syllable, unless that syllable is short." Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

hahaha For years and years I thought Superbus (the last king of Rome) was pronounced Super Bus and then one day I heard the proper pronunciation and I was just the most disappointed person. But that's how I learned about that particular rule so something came out of it.

Also I'm really sorry, Meatbomb, but try as I might not to I always involuntarily picture what you say as having been voiced by Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force and sometimes it makes me laugh and laugh, I am a terrible person.
posted by barchan at 11:06 PM on August 25, 2017 [13 favorites]

"my user", but in the voice of Ahnold Schwarzenegger
posted by meijusa at 12:22 AM on August 26, 2017 [18 favorites]

KWAHN ZAR
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 12:36 AM on August 26, 2017 [9 favorites]

I kind of want to make a HIGH SPEED PLOVER sock puppet now.
posted by aubilenon at 1:10 AM on August 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

I saw some of those at the beach yesterday, those things can MOVE.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 5:59 AM on August 26, 2017 [6 favorites]

When I have to tell someone my email address over the phone, it's always "moonmilk, like the word moon and the word milk."

I always get numaner and mumimor mixed up.

I, too, like to talk to Imaginary Ben Franklin! But I've been neglecting him for quite a few years.
posted by moonmilk at 7:30 AM on August 26, 2017 [5 favorites]

Seh-yeer-jee. Means "audience member" or "viewer.". Thought it fitting for someone who was a lurker for along time.
posted by seyirci at 8:01 AM on August 26, 2017 [7 favorites]

My name seems straightforward, but it's pronounced "Weaddabebe Eatsaboi"
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 8:12 AM on August 26, 2017 [5 favorites]

"Baruch" :p
posted by Barack Spinoza at 9:25 AM on August 26, 2017 [3 favorites]

"I, too, like to talk to Imaginary Ben Franklin!"

This phenomenon, initially charming, is starting to weird me out.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 9:36 AM on August 26, 2017 [11 favorites]

"This phenomenon, initially charming, is starting to weird me out." - Benjamin Franklin
posted by Barack Spinoza at 9:38 AM on August 26, 2017 [14 favorites]

"Madcap tenor", as if it were two words. Not "mad captenor" (with the emphasis on "cap"), because "captenor" isn't a thing. Definitely not "Madcapten, Oregon".
posted by madcaptenor at 9:51 AM on August 26, 2017 [9 favorites]

Nope, sorry, you're Mad Captain Enor (rhymes with Eeyore).
posted by Etrigan at 10:27 AM on August 26, 2017 [7 favorites]

Obi-Wan Quixote. Which I was quite proud of myself for coming up with 20 years ago. Until got a MeMail linking me to a Wikia page for Don-Wan Kihotay, a minor character in the Star Wars comic books from 40 years ago.
posted by ob1quixote at 10:37 AM on August 26, 2017 [9 favorites]

I am kind of Eeyorish, so I'll allow it.
posted by madcaptenor at 10:42 AM on August 26, 2017 [3 favorites]

I've moved to the UK since creating my username, so it's now "coriander".
posted by cilantro at 10:43 AM on August 26, 2017 [34 favorites]

"Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon'"

This is why we can still have fun threads.

Or, or humming WES-ON-AL-ITY! Whilst making my 728th Monte cristo of the day.

Dam you, FLO
posted by clavdivs at 12:26 PM on August 26, 2017 [2 favorites]

prah-tso-VEE-tee
posted by pracowity

Ya know dude for years it was prA-ko in the familiar and proc-O- witty in the formal. None the less I can say prah-tso-VEE-tee; having a Detroit born step father who's parents came from Kracow.
posted by clavdivs at 12:36 PM on August 26, 2017

I don't know if anyone was wondering, but I always stress the second syllable of my username, Zephýrial (zeph-EAR-ee-ul). Basically all the vowel sounds of "etheral," but with different consonants. :)
posted by Zephyrial at 12:42 PM on August 26, 2017 [4 favorites]

Johan Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm
posted by Splunge at 1:37 PM on August 26, 2017 [9 favorites]

"Madcap tenor", as if it were two words. Not "mad captenor" (with the emphasis on "cap"), because "captenor" isn't a thing. Definitely not "Madcapten, Oregon".

Nahhhhh, I'm always still going to mentally read it as Mad Captenor, 'cause it sounds like something out of an anime, like Cardcaptor Sakura.
posted by limeonaire at 1:52 PM on August 26, 2017 [2 favorites]

Spelterwasser, oh my, I'll have some of that right now.
posted by Oyéah at 1:59 PM on August 26, 2017

Spelterwasser, the google German search only turns up Monty Python. Spelterwasser smells of elderberries.
posted by Oyéah at 2:01 PM on August 26, 2017

Zahrk.

The people who write "zarg" have always amused me tho.
posted by zarq at 2:06 PM on August 26, 2017 [4 favorites]

Throatwobbler Mangrove

That is one's fielding position of choice in cricket, second only to cow corner in terms of safety when a quifflock has nurdled an outspun delivery from a fast-headlock bowler.
posted by Wordshore at 2:45 PM on August 26, 2017 [2 favorites]

I'm disappointed that qxntpqbbbqxl hasn't made an appearance in this thread.
posted by AFABulous at 2:58 PM on August 26, 2017 [8 favorites]

I'll be honest, every time I see your name my first instinct is to say "Empress Calypso", for no reason other than it rolls off the tongue.

I always read it as "Empress Callipygian," myself.
posted by webmutant at 3:03 PM on August 26, 2017 [3 favorites]

Bib-lee-oh not Bilbo. Not a hobbit.
posted by Biblio at 3:36 PM on August 26, 2017 [10 favorites]

Pronounced the same way master voice actor Maurice LaMarche* did in the animated Tick. Spaced propely, it's Evil Midnight Bomber What (NOT who) Bombs At Midnight.

* also notable as the voice of Yosemite Sam in Looney Tunes since 1990, The Brain in Pinky & the Brain, Kif Kroker and Morbo on Futurama, and, as they say, a host of other.
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight at 3:55 PM on August 26, 2017 [6 favorites]

Hermione was now teaching Krum to say her name properly; he kept calling her “Hermy-own.”

“Her-my-oh-nee,” she said slowly and clearly.

“Herm-own-ninny.”

"Close enough," she said, catching Harry's eye and grinning.

I loved this inclusion in the 4th book because I know J. K. Rowling only put it in because she was tired of fans coming up to her and telling her that their favorite character was Hermy-own.
posted by chainsofreedom at 4:52 PM on August 26, 2017 [9 favorites]

Bib-lee-oh not Bilbo. Not a hobbit.

We won't make a Hobbit of it.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:01 PM on August 26, 2017 [6 favorites]

Car-mike-uh. Carmicha was my first aol user name back in about '93 or '94.
posted by carmicha at 5:25 PM on August 26, 2017 [4 favorites]

Just how it looks.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 9:21 PM on August 26, 2017 [18 favorites]

Toddles is a toddler toddling along.

Toodles!
posted by Toddles at 10:15 PM on August 26, 2017 [6 favorites]

AY-lin
posted by Aleyn at 11:35 PM on August 26, 2017 [4 favorites]

Just how it looks.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a

I pronounce yours and octothorpe's the same.
posted by flabdablet at 11:54 PM on August 26, 2017 [4 favorites]

I'm strictly phonetic, though difficult to say quickly ten times in a row.

Truth. I lost it around the 7th time.

Flabdlablet, indeed.
posted by greermahoney at 1:06 AM on August 27, 2017

Probably ['rũ.kɪ.fɛks], as reconstructed Classical Latin. The variant, ['run. t͡ʃɪ.fɛks], is considered vulgar. In any case, a trill r is preferred.
posted by runcifex at 1:28 AM on August 27, 2017 [6 favorites]

The anecdote about "horizon" hits home. That particular example was never one of my "only read it" blunder words...but I'm sure I still have lots of those left.

The worst for me was "epitome". I pronounced it like it was a particularly gigantic book. Not only that, but while I knew what "ee pit oh me" meant when people said it, it never occurred to me me that "epp ih tome" might, in fact, be the same word.

I think "enn you i" is definitely the state that left me in.
posted by maxwelton at 5:02 AM on August 27, 2017 [4 favorites]

German is my mother tongue, so in my mind i tend to pronounce unknown words and especially names i never heard spoken, German. So it is fun to see what the correct pronunciation is.
IRL i try very hard to learn the correct way to say a name. Mine is Fifteen ell oh six,
posted by 15L06 at 5:13 AM on August 27, 2017 [6 favorites]

Mike War - ot (as in otter)

I'll also answer to M R dot Mikey.
posted by MikeWarot at 6:26 AM on August 27, 2017 [4 favorites]

Man, those of you who parse peacheater as "pea cheater" clearly have not read Prufrock as many times as I have (probably not a bad thing!).

(Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to cheat a pea?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the sea.)

orlop, I saw your user name in a book recently for the first time and was excited to learn what it means. I think I had assumed it was a last name or something.
posted by ferret branca at 7:26 AM on August 27, 2017 [14 favorites]

Well, at least I didn't choose a Dutch first name like Freek, Harm or Wierd.

There are Dutch people with the name Wierd? If not, good one. If so, I knew that! ;)
posted by wierdo at 9:05 AM on August 27, 2017

Mine is a bit odd because it's a pseudo transliteration of my name into Cyrillic, but I pronounce it kuh-nap-ah. Short kuh.
posted by knapah at 9:50 AM on August 27, 2017 [5 favorites]

> There are Dutch people with the name Wierd? If not, good one. If so, I knew that! ;)
You definitely knew that.
posted by farlukar at 10:52 AM on August 27, 2017

The worst for me was "epitome".

For me it was "facade", which I used to pronounce to rhyme with made.
posted by signal at 10:54 AM on August 27, 2017 [1 favorite]

The worst for me was "epitome"

Yes! It ought to be a synonym for "apple peeler".
posted by flabdablet at 11:35 AM on August 27, 2017 [2 favorites]

Wait, an epitome isn't a book written with an epipen? I've been lied to...
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:02 PM on August 27, 2017 [8 favorites]

I tried writing with an epipen once but all I got was jabber.
posted by flabdablet at 12:29 PM on August 27, 2017 [5 favorites]

The worst for me was "epitome".

My mom still delights in telling the story of the time, some four decades ago, when a young hanov3r was first baking cookies, needed a flat thing with which to remove the cookies from the backing sheet, and asked for the 'spah-TOO-lah', because how the hell else do you pronounce a word spelled S-P-A-T-U-L-A?
posted by hanov3r at 12:45 PM on August 27, 2017 [4 favorites]

TRIH-shah yoo. Short, sweet, with 50% fewer calories.
posted by TrishaU at 12:51 PM on August 27, 2017 [5 favorites]

4ster is Forrester
posted by 4ster at 1:50 PM on August 27, 2017 [7 favorites]

With as much snarfling and gobbling as you can manage!
posted by Omnomnom at 2:04 PM on August 27, 2017 [9 favorites]

Every couple hours or so today, I think of Ramix saying "Fuck me with a spoon! It's mocha pickle." And I start laughing all over again.

Bless this thread.
posted by greermahoney at 3:04 PM on August 27, 2017 [8 favorites]

Witt gen stein, though I believe the real Wittgenstein pronounced it Witt gen SHtein. But, he's dead and I'm around, so I can pronounce it any way I want.

Wittgenstein and Milton Erickson are two people I wish I could have met in real life.
posted by wittgenstein at 3:44 PM on August 27, 2017 [5 favorites]

the "on a stick" is silent.

I'm a 10ker, who signed up in one of the unpredictable sign up windows. I was "crush" socially and on the internet--and would have used it when signing up--but panicked. I assumed, in my short window of sign up, that a short, real word would be taken and thus appended the "on a stick" (though, truly, I should have gone with "on a biscuit"). Last year or so, at a TINCC* gathering, I learned that crush, in fact, despite being a short real word was unclaimed. So I claimed it. Then swapped over.
posted by crush at 4:53 PM on August 27, 2017 [7 favorites]

I intended my username to be pronounced "emm enn" (how boring, right?) but about ten years ago, my girlfriend at the time said, "That's totally pronounced 'mahna mahna'" (like the Muppets song), and I saw that she was right.

[My username also exposes string-escaping bugs in MeFi's code -- which have dwindled mightily over the years. But during Live Preview, I am still rendered as "////"; I've long found it charming that this is a bug that only I (?) get to see.]
posted by /\/\/\/ at 5:05 PM on August 27, 2017 [27 favorites]

The numeral is fully voiced, as in "Against Thebes" or "Brides for Brothers".
posted by prismatic7 at 5:59 PM on August 27, 2017 [7 favorites]

Mine is not exciting, same as you pronounce physics in high school.

But this prompts me to share one of my favorite mefi user names offhand - ND¢ - took me a few reads before I got it (indecent).
posted by fizzix at 6:02 PM on August 27, 2017 [4 favorites]

Pronounced to sound like fingers tapping softly on a desk.

Record yourself making a valiant attempt, and I will send you a cool postcard. First responder gets a secret gift! Do it now. Operators are standing by.

Here is a reference (links to 0:34 in the song).
posted by tirutiru at 6:06 PM on August 27, 2017 [9 favorites]

tirutiru, I love this music.
posted by Oyéah at 7:18 PM on August 27, 2017

First name Ree-AN-un (like the Welsh mythological figure or the Fleetwood Mac song*), last name Stone (like a rock). Not my real name--bestowed upon me when I was a teen by a Celtic myth-obsessed mentor who said I shared some qualities with the Welsh goddess and other qualities with a rock.

*I occasionally encounter people who struggle with pronouncing it and I have "Rhiannon" pretty much permanently queued up on my phone for these instances.
posted by rhiannonstone at 8:22 PM on August 27, 2017 [2 favorites]

Ah. I'm sure most of us had been thinking:

Présent:
je numane
tu numanes...

I go in conjugating l'infinitif: numaner but always leave with Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei in my head. On loop. For the rest of the day.
posted by Sockin'inthefreeworld at 3:08 AM on August 28, 2017 [7 favorites]

tirutiru, your username will always remind me of this song.
posted by hanov3r at 8:11 AM on August 28, 2017 [1 favorite]

the "on a stick" is silent.

Well, that explains why I hadn't seen coas around for a while.
posted by zamboni at 9:48 AM on August 28, 2017 [4 favorites]

LEE, lie-low. Explained in my profile. (Originally lelilo, since I didn't realize capital letters for user names were allowed way back in 2001, but Jessamyn – no Z – was kind enough years later to fix that for me.)
posted by LeLiLo at 8:00 PM on August 28, 2017 [3 favorites]

I pronounce my username the standard way.
I still think it's a clunky username.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 8:01 PM on August 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

Mine is pronounced "I enjoyed this website for years but delayed joining because I had doubts about the long-term value of contributing here myself."
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 10:21 PM on August 28, 2017 [3 favorites]

My client has not authorized the release of any information about the pronunciation of his advocate's username.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:42 AM on August 29, 2017 [18 favorites]

Old Scratch is stingy with data, everybody knows that.
posted by rhizome at 9:32 AM on August 29, 2017 [9 favorites]

Mine is pronounced "clotted cream gin".
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:41 PM on August 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

Mind-blowing thread.

Mine is said like a German speaker would say the letter "T" followed by Hund (dog). If you don't know how these are said in German, ask your local German for help.

It started as a way of saying "T-dog" in German, because I was in high school and thought T-dog would be a cool nickname (incredibly, it didn't catch on). It's a sufficiently weird username that it's available on most sites. But thanks to lauranesson's excellent comment, now it's been retconned to also be a meta-joke on "on the internet no one's knows you're a dog."

I guess this is a good a place as any to admit that I did not read every single election 2016 thread. Eventually I skipped ahead so I could read reactions to current news. Sorry to disappoint.
posted by Tehhund at 4:05 AM on August 30, 2017 [79 favorites]

I have started really reading the names, carefully, after this thread. It's a whole new experience.
posted by Oyéah at 7:11 PM on August 30, 2017 [5 favorites]

Oyéah, I pronounce your name like this.
posted by AFABulous at 5:47 AM on August 31, 2017 [11 favorites]

That's funny, because in my head your name is "AbFab-ulous"
posted by rhizome at 11:45 AM on August 31, 2017 [7 favorites]

BIG-BOO-TAY! TAY! TAY!
posted by JawnBigboote at 12:54 PM on August 31, 2017 [10 favorites]

Close relative of Count de Monet
posted by JawnBigboote at 12:58 PM on August 31, 2017

Without an accent on the 'e', I would have thought you were an olde tymey version of this guy.
posted by rhizome at 12:58 PM on August 31, 2017

The worst for me was "epitome".

Okay, so am listening to an audiobook, and I thought I just did this, so I looked up the word I am pretty sure they were using. At first I thought I was right (that I had been wrong all these 42 years), because Dictionary.com gave: klabərd,ˈklapˌbôrd, i.e. the definition the audiobook used as the first, then the one I heard in my head all these years when I read the word.

But then, every other source I looked at used clap-board. And then I really couldn't figure out which way this source was going:

"Clapboard is pronounced as it's spelled!" you might say. And, true, for many people it is. But this word, for a kind of wooden siding, was already being spelled sometimes as clabord in the 1600s, though it had first appeared in English just the previous century. Well, why not? Cupboard was already being said as "cubbard" by the 1500s. Wondering who the blackguards are who sanded down the clapboards and cupboards? They may well have been blackguards — domestic menials, not highly literate, who turned "pb" into "b" as easily as they turned "kg" in to "g," and the rest fell off from there. (Why isn't blackboard like "blabbard"? For one thing, "k" and "b" aren't said in the same place in the mouth, like "k" and "g" or "p" and "b" are; for another, it's newer, and is best known to educated speakers.)

I just asked four coworkers and they all said clap-board. So why did Andre Braugher say clabburd?
posted by Pax at 10:59 AM on September 1, 2017

No idea about Andre Braugher, but every carpenter I've ever talked to in the Northeast US pronounces it "clabberd," as in "first we're gonna rip off all the old clabberds, then we'll put in foam sheeting and do vinyl siding over that." It's just easier on the mouth.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 11:56 AM on September 1, 2017 [3 favorites]

So why did Andre Braugher say clabburd?

Honestly, that's how it reads to me intuitively, but not so much because I know that to be the case as because it just sort of sits in my head in the same space as words like "mainsail" (ˈmānsəl), "waistcoat" (ˈweskət), or "coxswain" (ˈkäks(ə)n), ie words that I'm much more likely to run into during a Gilbert and Sullivan show than I am in real life.
posted by solotoro at 11:57 AM on September 1, 2017 [8 favorites]

So why did Andre Braugher say clabburd?

I grew up in an old farmhouse with people who talked about clapboarding incessantly and they pronounced it clabburd. I am also from the northeast.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 11:58 AM on September 1, 2017 [4 favorites]

This is fascinating. I know I've heard "clabburd," but reading it I still said clap-board in my head. I grew up in Massachusetts and Delaware. I don't know where Mr. Braugher grew up, but the book he's reading me takes place in Washington, DC.
posted by Pax at 12:10 PM on September 1, 2017

I've never heard of anyone pronouncing "clapboard" any other way but "clabberd." I *have* seen people write it as "clabberd," though.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:37 PM on September 1, 2017 [2 favorites]

I don't know where Mr. Braugher grew up

Chicago, as I recall.

I'm assuming no one needs help on pronouncing my MeFi username. Which is a nice break from reality, where almost everyone always does.
posted by CommonSense at 3:41 PM on September 1, 2017 [2 favorites]

ckape is Lojban for Danger, which, as it clearly states in my profile, is my middle name. I tried and gave up learning Lojban in college, around the same time I was getting frustrated with people who were not me grabbing my account names, so I figured this was something short and unlikely to be taken and it has worked pretty well, except for twitter and that one time it worked too well and I couldn't set up an account on a webforum because it kept assuming I was a spammer and silently dropping my sign-up.

shkah-peh
posted by ckape at 5:38 PM on September 1, 2017 [6 favorites]

I'm from California and lived in Oregon for a long time, and all the carpenter/contractor/DIY types I've known have said clabberd.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:57 PM on September 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

This is fascinating. I know I've heard "clabburd," but reading it I still said clap-board in my head.

Well, OK. If "clapboard" as "clabberd" still sounds weird to you, try "cupboard".

Eh? Now you see.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:29 PM on September 1, 2017 [2 favorites]

Underpants Monster, yes! I almost said the same thing. Working in construction you meet a lot of people for whom the written word does not come entirely naturally, folks who learned enough reading and writing to get the job done but who don't really have an interest in it beyond that. I have definitely seen "clabberd" written down in the wild. Lots of other bits of houses get similar treatments, and nobody bats an eye or picks a nit over spelling or grammar. Language is whatever we understand it to be, after all.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:38 PM on September 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

I often say cup-board, but just to be annoying.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:42 PM on September 1, 2017 [2 favorites]

I posit that "clap-board" vs. "clabberd" may track with how frequently one has to pronounce the word in daily life. Words have a tendency to get worn down and rounded off with frequent use.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:42 PM on September 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

Well, OK. If "clapboard" as "clabberd" still sounds weird to you, try "cupboard".

Eh? Now you see.

Well, yes, and I know English is tricky, and I read the part about cupoard in the link I posted that described all the funny English words (I was in HMS Pinnafore in elementary school, which is where I learned boatswain - aka bos'n), my question was just which do [people] say, because I polled my office, looked at the internet and couldn't figure out which version I thought I knew!

*previously non-disclosed statistically irrelevant (because my sample i irrelevant) information: I talked to the four people left in the office at 2pm on Friday before Labor Day: three underwriters and an actuary. Of the underwriters, two are American-born males, both from the mid-Atlantic region. Of the other two, one underwriter is American, south Asian-born, perfectly fluent but not educated in the US. The actuary is a young man who came to the US from eastern Europe at age 10, perfectly fluent.
posted by Pax at 6:58 PM on September 1, 2017

I posit that "clap-board" vs. "clabberd" may track with how frequently one has to pronounce the word in daily life. Words have a tendency to get worn down and rounded off with frequent use.

Sorry if you are being funny and I'm being Captain Obvious, but you are describing descriptive linguistics (which I support!).
posted by Pax at 7:03 PM on September 1, 2017

Sorry, wasn't trying to have an argument! I don't think we actually disagree on anything here! I was more riffing on your comments than trying to rebut them. Apologies if I came off oppositional, definitely not my intent!
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 7:13 PM on September 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

Sorry, wasn't trying to have an argument! I don't think we actually disagree on anything here! I was more riffing on your comments than trying to rebut them. Apologies if I came off oppositional, definitely not my intent!

Sorry back! (are you Canadian!?) Was just pointing out that the premise of the link was comparing cupboard and clapboard, and I couldn't figure out which way the blogger was saying was the right way!
posted by Pax at 7:18 PM on September 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

Also, I want to move to Canada!
posted by Pax at 7:19 PM on September 1, 2017

Get a room, you two. In Montreal.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:21 PM on September 1, 2017 [11 favorites]

Not a Canadian myself, but if I were, my fantasy is to live in 1990s Vancouver (yano, before the real estate market went completely nuts and more than half the windows in all those bluish-green condo towers were dark every night).

Sorry if I offended any Vancouverites. (See? Excessively apologetic — I was MEANT to be Canadian, dagnabbit!)
posted by CommonSense at 9:08 PM on September 1, 2017

How did I miss this! I'm always game to note that mine is pronounced "RAO-mee." Rhymes with cow pee wow me.

Fun fact: after years of having a unique handle, I've learned that "Rhaomi" is now also claimed by:

• a South Korean artist
• The alien protagonist of a Starbound machinima series (and he pronounces it right!)
• a piece of costume jewelry

(Also, after being blissfully ignorant of the wrongness of Ray Omi, then locked in bitter reality-TV-based struggle, I have recently discovered there are at least 33 unique Ray Omis on the web, and don't know what to think anymore.)
posted by Rhaomi at 11:38 PM on September 1, 2017 [8 favorites]

This was such an enjoyable thread to read. Thank you everyone. It did remind me of the earlier days when I spent more time on MetaTalk and posts other than the political threads. I guess it is my own fault for not being more community-minded.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:51 AM on September 2, 2017 [6 favorites]

Having just seen this name pop up as having favorited one of my comments, mon-ma-tron's user name will always be sung in my head as if by a Muppet.

doo-doooOOOoo-doo-doo-doo
posted by hanov3r at 9:55 AM on September 8, 2017 [4 favorites]

This is indeed a lovely thread. Reflecting the considerable amount of time I spend on MetaFilter, my username is pronounced "valettafilter".
posted by valetta at 9:50 PM on September 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

You're not alone, Rhaomi. After I spent time cleverly grafting together mono (singular, one) and pas (French negating word) (I was terribly depressed when I was trying to figure out a username), some drug company came along and used it for a tuberculosis medication. Which only seems to be available in India now. And then someone else used it for a Sourceforge project thingy.

I've always pronounced it mono-paws.

I'd buy a new account, but then I'd have to leave my collection of favorites behind. I'm invested.
posted by monopas at 10:21 PM on September 13, 2017 [2 favorites]

Joining in late. I'm:
Sam, the [char]mander

Not Salamander. Not Sam the Man. No: the truth is that I first got access to the internet at a time when I was obsessed with Pokémon, specifically Charmander, and the "mander" part stuck. To thine own self be true.
posted by samthemander at 10:29 PM on September 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

TIL Lojban exists. Thanks ckape!
posted by whuppy at 6:35 AM on September 14, 2017 [2 favorites]

I guess this is a good a place as any to admit that I did not read every single election 2016 thread. Eventually I skipped ahead so I could read reactions to current news. Sorry to disappoint.

I WANTED TO TELL PEOPLE IN THAT THREAD SO BAD but I didn't want to be the bringer of that news...
posted by numaner at 1:47 PM on September 14, 2017 [2 favorites]