Things are getting better! October 18, 2017 12:34 PM Subscribe
If you are a poster on the green please share some of your victories with me.
I'm looking to read sequential AskMe questions that show things getting better over time.
I'm looking for stories or narratives that shows Improvement in their life, positive outcomes due to making changes and generally things getting better.
I'm looking for stories or narratives that shows Improvement in their life, positive outcomes due to making changes and generally things getting better.
I'm looking for stories or narratives that shows Improvement in their life, positive outcomes due to making changes and generally things getting better.
posted by tedious
Eponysterical.
posted by Melismata at 1:24 PM on October 18, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by tedious
Eponysterical.
posted by Melismata at 1:24 PM on October 18, 2017 [7 favorites]
Hm. I now speak Yiddish semi-fluently. And dress like a cowboy all the time.
They seem barely related, but both have improved my life immeasurably.
posted by maxsparber at 1:58 PM on October 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
They seem barely related, but both have improved my life immeasurably.
posted by maxsparber at 1:58 PM on October 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
I find this fascinating and would like more information on how to dress like a cowboy/girl
posted by bq at 2:36 PM on October 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by bq at 2:36 PM on October 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
My situation in grad school.
My question about dropping out.
My update at 1 year.
My update a few years later.
I just left my super sekrit engineering R&D job at the richest company in the world. Running my own small business - my way, my speed - so far it's paying the bills and I'm in love with life, my partner, my family.
posted by fake at 4:44 PM on October 18, 2017 [41 favorites]
My question about dropping out.
My update at 1 year.
My update a few years later.
I just left my super sekrit engineering R&D job at the richest company in the world. Running my own small business - my way, my speed - so far it's paying the bills and I'm in love with life, my partner, my family.
posted by fake at 4:44 PM on October 18, 2017 [41 favorites]
I am incredibly bored and frustrated and I need some kind of job or project, but it also has to fit around my family obligations which are currently very intense
O hai I found a job
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 6:20 PM on October 18, 2017 [45 favorites]
O hai I found a job
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 6:20 PM on October 18, 2017 [45 favorites]
Four years ago I asked a question under another handle about going to grad school to become a high school teacher in my 50s. The responses were positive. The subsequent study was great and I ended up upgrading to a Masters degree and graduating with a very high GPA. Then earlier this year I asked about how to salvage a job interview that was regularly interrupted by migraine-induced emetic eruptions. You guys were there for me and gave me a good plan. I got that job and now I have a career that I adore working for students who need me with fantastic colleagues for good pay and the bonus of regular travel.
So, in just over four-years I have gone from a bored, underemployed and under-stimulated middle-aged peri-frump to a highly engaged and well paid professional. And just this morning I realised that I am currently the happiest I have been inyears decades!
posted by Thella at 6:46 PM on October 18, 2017 [69 favorites]
So, in just over four-years I have gone from a bored, underemployed and under-stimulated middle-aged peri-frump to a highly engaged and well paid professional. And just this morning I realised that I am currently the happiest I have been in
posted by Thella at 6:46 PM on October 18, 2017 [69 favorites]
I haven't seen a drain fly in my shower this month (fingers crossed, it's been many a long year).
posted by unliteral at 9:37 PM on October 18, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by unliteral at 9:37 PM on October 18, 2017 [7 favorites]
Yesssss, unliteral, I literally read your AskMe question two days ago in a panic and thanks to a combo of boiling water/bug spray my shower is also free of drain flies!
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 10:24 PM on October 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 10:24 PM on October 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
I posted a question in January 2015 about being scared to go to the gym, and got some great answers! More than 2.5 years later, exercise is a regular part of my life and one that has improved my life immeasurably.
posted by Ziggy500 at 11:53 PM on October 18, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by Ziggy500 at 11:53 PM on October 18, 2017 [12 favorites]
Congratulations Ziggy500 and thank you so much for pointing out your gym thread. It was just what I needed to read!
posted by Thella at 12:32 AM on October 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Thella at 12:32 AM on October 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I posted this in 2014 about learning uke, and I'm playing at the Blue Mountains Ukulele Festival in 2018. For the third time.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 2:39 AM on October 19, 2017 [46 favorites]
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 2:39 AM on October 19, 2017 [46 favorites]
Well... the bomb shelter comment got us digging down the sides instead of through. The trapped thread inspired me to make something out of nothing.
But I am still dismayed that nobody could help with the Komodo Dragon. Maybe that's because the papers got swallowed by Gannet. Surely some of you were VCU students when that happened.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 3:40 AM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
But I am still dismayed that nobody could help with the Komodo Dragon. Maybe that's because the papers got swallowed by Gannet. Surely some of you were VCU students when that happened.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 3:40 AM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Dating back about a decade I've asked questions, and followed other questions about weird symptoms i sometimes felt. Doctors often said "oh it's BLANK" and i'd let it sit but asking and reading mefi got me more proactive in my health.
I finally discovered I had a rare seizure condition this year and lo and behold they just fucking make meds for that! So I take 2 pills and it's gone.
Had I been more diligent in following advice from one of my 10 year old asks I might of have even caught this sooner. But that's kinda looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Anyway healthy, will stay healthy indefinitely!
as long as I have healthcare
posted by French Fry at 6:19 AM on October 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
I finally discovered I had a rare seizure condition this year and lo and behold they just fucking make meds for that! So I take 2 pills and it's gone.
Had I been more diligent in following advice from one of my 10 year old asks I might of have even caught this sooner. But that's kinda looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Anyway healthy, will stay healthy indefinitely!
as long as I have healthcare
posted by French Fry at 6:19 AM on October 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
I didn't end up lifting weights to get in better shape. I did get a vertical sleeve gastrectomy though and I've lost 71 pounds in 11 weeks. I'm no longer pre-diabetic. I don't have high blood pressure anymore. I don't have joint pain. I don't snore or have night sweats. My skin looks great. And in a few weeks, my pulmonologist is giving me another sleep study with the expected result being that I won't need a CPAP machine anymore. I've taken up hiking, too, and I routinely put in 8-12 miles a week. Life is pretty good.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:16 AM on October 19, 2017 [42 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:16 AM on October 19, 2017 [42 favorites]
I find this fascinating and would like more information on how to dress like a cowboy/girl
10 gallon hat, Western shirt, boots, and, of course, an ever-present, inexplicable, ghostly yodel.
posted by maxsparber at 7:39 AM on October 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
10 gallon hat, Western shirt, boots, and, of course, an ever-present, inexplicable, ghostly yodel.
posted by maxsparber at 7:39 AM on October 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
I have a good relationship with my dad again. At least no worse than it was before I came out.
I've had my stray cat for a year and he is happy and healthy and the boss of the household.
posted by AFABulous at 8:13 AM on October 19, 2017 [19 favorites]
I've had my stray cat for a year and he is happy and healthy and the boss of the household.
posted by AFABulous at 8:13 AM on October 19, 2017 [19 favorites]
Sometimes I look back on my old posts and I can see my life story going on behind the scenes.
In 2005, my first book came out and I publicized it on the web. I never did manage to talk about it at a comic book convention.
Honestly, though, I saw writing for print as a distraction from my true calling, which was to be a film writer/director. I never got very far on that, and around the time my daughter was born, I finally gave up on my filmmaking dream.
The problem was, I didn't have a backup plan. My books weren't selling spectacularly, and anyway, they were humor books without storylines. The whole reason I had become a writer was to tell stories.
But revisiting children's books with my daughter made me remember how much I loved them. So I turned to writing kids' books. I looked for inspiration in smart picture books and beautifully written novels for children.
Years went by, and I could not interest anybody in my kids' books. I turned to freelance journalism. I tried to get ahead of things by looking for news I could write about in advance. I searched for more sources of freelance work. None of it helped much.
By 2015, I was 43, and I was beginning to suspect my writing career was over. I had been sending out my picture books and my novel for years and nobody was interested. My life was a constant drizzle of disappointment.
But I hadn't just been acquiring rejections. I had been working on improving my craft. I had been making my manuscripts tighter. And finally, it all paid off. I got a fantastic children's book agent. She sold one of my picture books and got me a three-book deal for my series of novels! The first novel came out earlier this year.
The second one comes out next year and it features a bunch of fragments of old London that are visible in the modern city.
I'm now working on the third book in the series. And when I do, I listen to the same themed playlist I put together back when I wrote the first draft of book 1.
posted by yankeefog at 8:19 AM on October 19, 2017 [48 favorites]
In 2005, my first book came out and I publicized it on the web. I never did manage to talk about it at a comic book convention.
Honestly, though, I saw writing for print as a distraction from my true calling, which was to be a film writer/director. I never got very far on that, and around the time my daughter was born, I finally gave up on my filmmaking dream.
The problem was, I didn't have a backup plan. My books weren't selling spectacularly, and anyway, they were humor books without storylines. The whole reason I had become a writer was to tell stories.
But revisiting children's books with my daughter made me remember how much I loved them. So I turned to writing kids' books. I looked for inspiration in smart picture books and beautifully written novels for children.
Years went by, and I could not interest anybody in my kids' books. I turned to freelance journalism. I tried to get ahead of things by looking for news I could write about in advance. I searched for more sources of freelance work. None of it helped much.
By 2015, I was 43, and I was beginning to suspect my writing career was over. I had been sending out my picture books and my novel for years and nobody was interested. My life was a constant drizzle of disappointment.
But I hadn't just been acquiring rejections. I had been working on improving my craft. I had been making my manuscripts tighter. And finally, it all paid off. I got a fantastic children's book agent. She sold one of my picture books and got me a three-book deal for my series of novels! The first novel came out earlier this year.
The second one comes out next year and it features a bunch of fragments of old London that are visible in the modern city.
I'm now working on the third book in the series. And when I do, I listen to the same themed playlist I put together back when I wrote the first draft of book 1.
posted by yankeefog at 8:19 AM on October 19, 2017 [48 favorites]
We bought the house. I paid "rent" and didn't contribute to the down payment. My name was not on the paperwork. We chose a house that was in a horrible state, not even structurally sound, but it was in a lovely neighborhood (Carrollton area). And cheap. Very cheap for a three bedroom house with a garage in New Orleans. I could bike to work or take the streetcar if I wanted. We continued to rent and he paid the first few months mortgage while we worked on getting it habitable. Every day, we would get off work, change, go to the house and rip out termite and/or mold infested flooring, cabinets, and drywall. Go to the apartment, shower and sleep. Then we started building. We put in new joists to replace the termite-destroyed ones. New subfloor, new floor. Drywall and paint. We paid someone to do the cabinets and bathroom, as those required skills we did not have. We moved in, enjoyed the fruits of our labor, and eventually we got married (by MeFi's own ColdChef!). Compromising on the house was one of the best decisions I ever made. MeFites' inventive suggestions allowed us to find a solution that worked for us both.
Oh, and the house is now worth three times what we paid for it.
posted by domo at 9:23 AM on October 19, 2017 [19 favorites]
Oh, and the house is now worth three times what we paid for it.
posted by domo at 9:23 AM on October 19, 2017 [19 favorites]
I was asking stuff like this, this or this about 7 years ago.
I have recently quit my academia day job, and am a full-time programmer and part owner of a tiny software company. Now it's 20:30 and I'm still in the office so I'm not entirely sure this counts as an improvement but it's a lot of fun.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:14 AM on October 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I have recently quit my academia day job, and am a full-time programmer and part owner of a tiny software company. Now it's 20:30 and I'm still in the office so I'm not entirely sure this counts as an improvement but it's a lot of fun.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:14 AM on October 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I have maintained that all-important cool-aunt status, the one who gives great presents and introduces the kids to new books and lets them do weird and frequently-messy projects in my kitchen.
I have been working on building a relationship with my recently-discovered half-sister; we're taking it slow, but we both think it's going well. The whole family now laughs at Ancestry.com's commercials: that bit about "let us show you the ancestors you never knew about" is hilarious to people who found an unsuspected sibling through those DNA tests --- it ain't the darn ancestors they showed us!
I continue to get into various discussions about off-the-wall topics with my coworkers; you've helped us with all-important questions on cowboys & beans and squirrel evolution and more, and I'm sure we'll need to come back to you with something else odd sooner or later.
posted by easily confused at 10:54 AM on October 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
I have been working on building a relationship with my recently-discovered half-sister; we're taking it slow, but we both think it's going well. The whole family now laughs at Ancestry.com's commercials: that bit about "let us show you the ancestors you never knew about" is hilarious to people who found an unsuspected sibling through those DNA tests --- it ain't the darn ancestors they showed us!
I continue to get into various discussions about off-the-wall topics with my coworkers; you've helped us with all-important questions on cowboys & beans and squirrel evolution and more, and I'm sure we'll need to come back to you with something else odd sooner or later.
posted by easily confused at 10:54 AM on October 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
We got a dog, and she's the cutest.
posted by Ragged Richard at 10:58 AM on October 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Ragged Richard at 10:58 AM on October 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
Recently a kitten was abandoned in a box at a nearby park. When I visited, a park employee was wandering around, distraught, headed for school herself so unable to take him and looking for someone who could.
Within an hour Gilligan had been see by our vet and had joined our growing flock of six rescued animals, and he is happily no longer stranded. Bonus: our two bored older cats are bored no more.
posted by kinnakeet at 2:30 PM on October 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
Within an hour Gilligan had been see by our vet and had joined our growing flock of six rescued animals, and he is happily no longer stranded. Bonus: our two bored older cats are bored no more.
posted by kinnakeet at 2:30 PM on October 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
This Ask of mine is a good long read featuring the absolute best of our fellow MeFites.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:33 PM on October 19, 2017 [26 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 6:33 PM on October 19, 2017 [26 favorites]
Count me among those who just want to hear more about Max's cowboy wardrobe.
My name is Ted. And one day I'll be dead, yo, yo, yo.
posted by yhbc at 7:35 PM on October 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
My name is Ted. And one day I'll be dead, yo, yo, yo.
posted by yhbc at 7:35 PM on October 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
We moved and sold our house! It was soooo stressful. The house took longer to sell than we hoped for and we lost money. We had rent and a mortgage for 3 months! Buying a house was difficult but selling was even worse. That being said I really love where we live now. I have the best commute I've ever had. It's just a 5 minute walk to the train station and there is a supermarket on the way. We have no regrets about our decision to sell and feel so relieved to not have to deal with any house problems.
posted by mokeydraws at 7:35 PM on October 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by mokeydraws at 7:35 PM on October 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
The ulnar nerve in my left arm felt funny, it was messed up, it needed surgery.
Six years later, I have full feeling, motion, and strength back in my left hand. Although my funny bone is in a non-standard place.
posted by escabeche at 7:46 PM on October 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Six years later, I have full feeling, motion, and strength back in my left hand. Although my funny bone is in a non-standard place.
posted by escabeche at 7:46 PM on October 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
This cat is now on my lap as I'm typing this. He's purring, rolling on his back and showing his fluffy belly. Such fluffy, very purr, wow.
posted by Too-Ticky at 5:06 AM on October 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by Too-Ticky at 5:06 AM on October 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
I got braces. They've been off for a year, I have no regrets getting them and was worth it in the end although 2 teeth are already starting to shift (even after wearing my retainer at night).
I was pretty depressed when I was a recent college grad and mostly unemployed for a few years. As days wore on, I felt that I'd be unhappy and poor for the rest of my life and doubted that things weren't going to get better. I had pretty low self-esteem. Around the time of the question was my lowest point. A few months after the question, I started getting interviews in my dream industry - online geospatial analysis and web cartography. I had a couple paid internships and contracts, attended conferences and even presented at a couple, and felt welcomed there.
Meanwhile, I needed benefits and my side gigs weren't enough, so I did take a full-time non-profit job.
In retrospect, my programming skills aren't great and basic concepts and syntax in programming isn't something that I've been able to easily learn. If I consciously focused on a particular niche in the industry, I would have been more skilled and attractive to employers to be hired in it.
However, I asked this question one year ago yesterday. I was offered the job and accepted it. I think I was unqualified when I first started it (general web devel), but I've learned a lot since I started, my boss has been very understanding, I'm generally doing a good job (meeting deadlines and most objectives; and it's certainly helped that my biggest challenge/deadline at work had been pushed back by 6 months for unexpected reasons outside my control or responsibility) and I actually sort of enjoy going to work most days.
I'm pretty happy and professionally and even personally fulfilled here.
I didn't realize until taking this job how stressed and unhappy I was at my previous one, and the money had removed most stress regarding finances.
My past has helped shape me not to take my current position and privilege for granted and how necessary social services (especially access to mental health resources) are how a strong safety net from the government are for American society. So many people slip through the cracks in our current one. We need to fund the hell out of them.
posted by fizzix at 5:56 AM on October 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
I was pretty depressed when I was a recent college grad and mostly unemployed for a few years. As days wore on, I felt that I'd be unhappy and poor for the rest of my life and doubted that things weren't going to get better. I had pretty low self-esteem. Around the time of the question was my lowest point. A few months after the question, I started getting interviews in my dream industry - online geospatial analysis and web cartography. I had a couple paid internships and contracts, attended conferences and even presented at a couple, and felt welcomed there.
Meanwhile, I needed benefits and my side gigs weren't enough, so I did take a full-time non-profit job.
In retrospect, my programming skills aren't great and basic concepts and syntax in programming isn't something that I've been able to easily learn. If I consciously focused on a particular niche in the industry, I would have been more skilled and attractive to employers to be hired in it.
However, I asked this question one year ago yesterday. I was offered the job and accepted it. I think I was unqualified when I first started it (general web devel), but I've learned a lot since I started, my boss has been very understanding, I'm generally doing a good job (meeting deadlines and most objectives; and it's certainly helped that my biggest challenge/deadline at work had been pushed back by 6 months for unexpected reasons outside my control or responsibility) and I actually sort of enjoy going to work most days.
I'm pretty happy and professionally and even personally fulfilled here.
I didn't realize until taking this job how stressed and unhappy I was at my previous one, and the money had removed most stress regarding finances.
My past has helped shape me not to take my current position and privilege for granted and how necessary social services (especially access to mental health resources) are how a strong safety net from the government are for American society. So many people slip through the cracks in our current one. We need to fund the hell out of them.
posted by fizzix at 5:56 AM on October 20, 2017 [8 favorites]
Thorzdad, that thread made me cry. I'm so happy you were able to take care of your mom that way, and that her final year was so positive.
Mr. Yuck, the komodo dragon story is wonderful. I don't think I know anyone with Virginia connections, but I'll spread the question around just in case.
posted by daisyk at 7:11 AM on October 20, 2017
Mr. Yuck, the komodo dragon story is wonderful. I don't think I know anyone with Virginia connections, but I'll spread the question around just in case.
posted by daisyk at 7:11 AM on October 20, 2017
Perhaps not quite at the emotional level of some of these, but our new house is organized as shit because of you all. I had to go back and best answer a couple of things that we've done since my follow-up that I thought were my own ideas but turned out to be residual Mefadvice.
posted by notorious medium at 7:32 AM on October 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by notorious medium at 7:32 AM on October 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
3 months after I asked this I moved to a new role with a team in a completely different division that valued my math and interpersonal skills; and got a raise+ bonus twice the size of the prior year, at year end. 2 years later I had leapfrogged the promotion ladder and was promoted to middle management.
4 years ago I was upset, pissed off at the universe and dreading coming into work every day.
2 years ago I was second in command of a international team of 150 people across 5 countries, glued to my blackberry and still kind of dreading coming into work every day.
This summer, I took a 'demotion' where I do work that is genuinely what I'm interested in (and absolutely unrelated to what I studied in college), but no longer manage quite so many people. I look forward to my job every day, and I leave my work at the office.
It gets way better. I still use some of the tips from that thread when I react way emotionally in public.
posted by larthegreat at 8:12 AM on October 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
4 years ago I was upset, pissed off at the universe and dreading coming into work every day.
2 years ago I was second in command of a international team of 150 people across 5 countries, glued to my blackberry and still kind of dreading coming into work every day.
This summer, I took a 'demotion' where I do work that is genuinely what I'm interested in (and absolutely unrelated to what I studied in college), but no longer manage quite so many people. I look forward to my job every day, and I leave my work at the office.
It gets way better. I still use some of the tips from that thread when I react way emotionally in public.
posted by larthegreat at 8:12 AM on October 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
I wanted marriage advice from Mefi, the folks I trust. We're not married yet, but I am finalizing the book of poems I wrote to use as a proposal and we've adopted our first joint cat. The piece of advice from those responses that I keep coming back to is to decide what you want to do with your lives together if you decide not to raise kids. Through a great stroke of luck, we ended up fostering kittens, and now we know what we want to do together forever. I expect wedding planning and house buying questions will show up on the green from me before too long.
posted by possibilityleft at 11:35 AM on October 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by possibilityleft at 11:35 AM on October 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
Our niece has been with us full time for several years. We've settled into a pretty good pattern - her anxiety is less than when she moved in with us, and I don't feel like a checklist machine. Everything is a work in progress, but we have made such great progress over the years.
I now realize that when I'm reacting to something as emotionally as this, I need to think about whether or not any of my medicine has changed and if I've been taking it regularly (thanks, hormonal bcp pills!). This was a really good learning experience for me, and has stopped me from overreacting several times since then.
We've moved into a larger house with more space, and that's been great for all of us, as it's easier to get along when you're not right on top of each other.
I have an awesome reading nook (IKEA for the win!).
We're headed to Alaska in the next month, and I am hopefully prepared in terms of clothing.
My niece's wet iphone has been replaced with an iphone SE.
posted by needlegrrl at 12:18 PM on October 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
I now realize that when I'm reacting to something as emotionally as this, I need to think about whether or not any of my medicine has changed and if I've been taking it regularly (thanks, hormonal bcp pills!). This was a really good learning experience for me, and has stopped me from overreacting several times since then.
We've moved into a larger house with more space, and that's been great for all of us, as it's easier to get along when you're not right on top of each other.
I have an awesome reading nook (IKEA for the win!).
We're headed to Alaska in the next month, and I am hopefully prepared in terms of clothing.
My niece's wet iphone has been replaced with an iphone SE.
posted by needlegrrl at 12:18 PM on October 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
fizzix, you may need a permanent lingual-wire retainer, plus a new overnight retainer that fits over it.
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:32 PM on October 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:32 PM on October 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
Needlegrrl, can we see a photo of the reading nook? :)
posted by Shebear at 6:23 PM on October 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Shebear at 6:23 PM on October 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
I hope yasp is OK.
posted by bendy at 6:54 PM on October 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by bendy at 6:54 PM on October 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
I left my abusive husband for good thanks to askme readers support. I am now remarried happily to a nice man.
posted by TestamentToGrace at 10:50 PM on October 20, 2017 [69 favorites]
posted by TestamentToGrace at 10:50 PM on October 20, 2017 [69 favorites]
You can see from my questions that I’m going through a rough time right now. (This anonymous question is me too.) About a month ago, I was raped by someone who had, until that day, been one of my closest friends for over two years. But MeFi has been there for me in so many ways.
One mefite friend even provided this sock so that I’d be able to ask questions anonymously but immediately (she always keeps an unused one on hand for emergencies—smart!). It’s been playing out more over texts than on MeFi itself, but I have had near constant love and support in my pocket since the day after my assault nearly a month ago.
Mefites are the ones who helped me maintain my courage as I decided to report my rapist via Title IX at my institution. Others who don’t even know what happened to me provided a wonderful moment of respite at a meetup as I swung through their town shortly after my assault. I’m also, at this very moment, on a train going to visit several mefites for the weekend.
Though these mefites are not exclusively women (shoutout to one male mefite who has been diligent in responding when I blow up his phone with texts in the middle of the night for weeks, and one non-binary mefite who provided a meal and companionship on a rough day), they mostly are. The women of MeFi are some of the best humans I know.
I said this to her in a MeMail yesterday, but I particularly want to thank jessamyn for everything she did to cultivate AskMe over the years. Everyone I talk to who works with survivors of assault keeps telling me that I am coping really well and that I’m doing all the right things. Though I’m getting a ton of support and guidance in the here and now, so so much of my knowledge about how to deal with this has come from reading AskMe for a decade.
It’s still an evolving story. It’s mostly behind the scenes. But I’m healing, and coping, and the decade I’ve spent with this website as a near daily presence in my life has made an enormous difference in the aftermath of this event.
posted by superswell at 5:23 AM on October 21, 2017 [43 favorites]
One mefite friend even provided this sock so that I’d be able to ask questions anonymously but immediately (she always keeps an unused one on hand for emergencies—smart!). It’s been playing out more over texts than on MeFi itself, but I have had near constant love and support in my pocket since the day after my assault nearly a month ago.
Mefites are the ones who helped me maintain my courage as I decided to report my rapist via Title IX at my institution. Others who don’t even know what happened to me provided a wonderful moment of respite at a meetup as I swung through their town shortly after my assault. I’m also, at this very moment, on a train going to visit several mefites for the weekend.
Though these mefites are not exclusively women (shoutout to one male mefite who has been diligent in responding when I blow up his phone with texts in the middle of the night for weeks, and one non-binary mefite who provided a meal and companionship on a rough day), they mostly are. The women of MeFi are some of the best humans I know.
I said this to her in a MeMail yesterday, but I particularly want to thank jessamyn for everything she did to cultivate AskMe over the years. Everyone I talk to who works with survivors of assault keeps telling me that I am coping really well and that I’m doing all the right things. Though I’m getting a ton of support and guidance in the here and now, so so much of my knowledge about how to deal with this has come from reading AskMe for a decade.
It’s still an evolving story. It’s mostly behind the scenes. But I’m healing, and coping, and the decade I’ve spent with this website as a near daily presence in my life has made an enormous difference in the aftermath of this event.
posted by superswell at 5:23 AM on October 21, 2017 [43 favorites]
I almost started laughing when — at the tail end of my question history, which I was reading in reverse order — I saw this question about how to become less risk-averse.
Because on the surface, yeah, I actually took a bunch of crazy fun risks. There was the summer I drove an ambulance. There was the winter I worked for my friend's pyramid scheme. There was my granola polyamorous homesteading phase where we bought a house in terrible condition and remodeled it while we lived there and grew our own vegetables (never did get the vermicomposting thing off the ground, though). There was a summer as a sort of assistant groundskeeper for a neopagan church and festival site — looking back, I kept the details of that one mostly off AskMe, probably because the guy who owned the place was an abusive shit, but holy fuck was it an adventure.
And then there was the Big Adventure of grad school: making plans to study linguistics in a practical, career-oriented way and sending out applications and moving to Texas after getting in to UT. Living in the world's most decrepit co-op. Slowly getting sucked into the joy of research and asking a squillion practical questions about different research topics. Doing fieldwork! Winning grants!
But, uh. Risk-averse. Yeah. About that.
What I actually meant was less "I want to have some adventures," it turns out, and more "I can't even begin to imagine a future for myself, and everything I do feels gray and drab, and that scares me." Okay, so antidepressants. Therapy. A bunch of jumping into and out of relationships. And finally, fucking finally, admitting I was trans.
AskMe was a huge part of my transition. I met the first trans women I ever knew IRL here, who held my hand through my very first trans meetup and my first makeup store excursion and my first trip to a gender therapist. I got fashion tips here. I got amazing advice on tolerating the stress and pain of marathon facial hair removal. Got tips on sperm banking so I could start hormones. I re-learned how to sing. And then, for a second time, I moved across the country — this time to New England (ended up settling on Boston, not Vermont), where insurance is required to cover gender care, so I could get myself a fancy new vagina installed.
And what's amazing, reading back over these questions, is how much more real and three-dimensional everything felt after I started transition. It was the first of my weird stupid adventures that actually felt like it was mine. I don't care if I was part-owner of a shitty house before, the apartment I found after asking this question feels like my First Real Apartment. The girlfriend in Northampton who I ate barbecued raccoon with felt a little like my first real girlfriend. The frankly-kinda-tedious tech editing job I got feels like my first job, and all the ambulance-driving and pyramid-scheming misadventures feel like dumb stories that happened to someone else.
I finally did get surgery, after a yearlong wait (and my first real train-wreck of a Special Snowflake personal AskMe thread, about whether to tell my coworkers what my medical leave was going to be for).
Anyway. I dunno. I still have a ton of mental health shit to sort out, and lots of catching up to do on being an adult human. But my life finally sort of feels like it belongs to me and is worth doing stuff with, and that's really cool. There were lots of reasons why 2012 was a fucking amazing year to be a newly-out trans girl on the internet, but for me AskMe was a big, big part of it. And, uh, shit, this kind of turned into a speech, but fuck it: thank you.
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:58 AM on October 21, 2017 [47 favorites]
Because on the surface, yeah, I actually took a bunch of crazy fun risks. There was the summer I drove an ambulance. There was the winter I worked for my friend's pyramid scheme. There was my granola polyamorous homesteading phase where we bought a house in terrible condition and remodeled it while we lived there and grew our own vegetables (never did get the vermicomposting thing off the ground, though). There was a summer as a sort of assistant groundskeeper for a neopagan church and festival site — looking back, I kept the details of that one mostly off AskMe, probably because the guy who owned the place was an abusive shit, but holy fuck was it an adventure.
And then there was the Big Adventure of grad school: making plans to study linguistics in a practical, career-oriented way and sending out applications and moving to Texas after getting in to UT. Living in the world's most decrepit co-op. Slowly getting sucked into the joy of research and asking a squillion practical questions about different research topics. Doing fieldwork! Winning grants!
But, uh. Risk-averse. Yeah. About that.
What I actually meant was less "I want to have some adventures," it turns out, and more "I can't even begin to imagine a future for myself, and everything I do feels gray and drab, and that scares me." Okay, so antidepressants. Therapy. A bunch of jumping into and out of relationships. And finally, fucking finally, admitting I was trans.
AskMe was a huge part of my transition. I met the first trans women I ever knew IRL here, who held my hand through my very first trans meetup and my first makeup store excursion and my first trip to a gender therapist. I got fashion tips here. I got amazing advice on tolerating the stress and pain of marathon facial hair removal. Got tips on sperm banking so I could start hormones. I re-learned how to sing. And then, for a second time, I moved across the country — this time to New England (ended up settling on Boston, not Vermont), where insurance is required to cover gender care, so I could get myself a fancy new vagina installed.
And what's amazing, reading back over these questions, is how much more real and three-dimensional everything felt after I started transition. It was the first of my weird stupid adventures that actually felt like it was mine. I don't care if I was part-owner of a shitty house before, the apartment I found after asking this question feels like my First Real Apartment. The girlfriend in Northampton who I ate barbecued raccoon with felt a little like my first real girlfriend. The frankly-kinda-tedious tech editing job I got feels like my first job, and all the ambulance-driving and pyramid-scheming misadventures feel like dumb stories that happened to someone else.
I finally did get surgery, after a yearlong wait (and my first real train-wreck of a Special Snowflake personal AskMe thread, about whether to tell my coworkers what my medical leave was going to be for).
Anyway. I dunno. I still have a ton of mental health shit to sort out, and lots of catching up to do on being an adult human. But my life finally sort of feels like it belongs to me and is worth doing stuff with, and that's really cool. There were lots of reasons why 2012 was a fucking amazing year to be a newly-out trans girl on the internet, but for me AskMe was a big, big part of it. And, uh, shit, this kind of turned into a speech, but fuck it: thank you.
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:58 AM on October 21, 2017 [47 favorites]
In 2014, I was feeling stuck in a job that had a lot of plusses, but one insurmountable minus in that I had always felt I was spending my life doing meaningless work. I'd already tried a career shift into academia the previous decade, and while I did end up meeting my wife during that little adventure (and thus it remains the best thing I've ever done!), I ultimately realized that I wasn't interested in being an academic so I'd returned to my original career with no idea as to what else to do. When I asked for career direction on the green, Wolfster suggested speech therapy.
I did some reading on my own and then followed up by asking for input from speech-language pathologists about the field, and Stacey kindly put me in touch with a university SLP in the city where I was living. I left my meeting with that person even more fired up about the idea, and ultimately spent the next two years completing the leveling courses necessary to apply to grad school.
I ended up being accepted into ~10 graduate programs (woohoo!), and then my biggest challenge was deciding which one to accept. I was particularly intrigued at the prospect of moving across the country to Oregon (and the DingoWife was REALLY into this option), but with all the rest of my family living in Florida I was worried about how it would feel to live so far away so I once again turned to AskMe for advice. The reassurance I got helped us make our decision, and on June 30 we loaded up our car (newly acquired after AskMe helped me sell my beloved old hatchback for much more than I'd expected) and drove to Oregon. The one speed bump we hit along the way was a minor breakdown on our poor dog's part halfway through the drive, but once again the folks on AskMe had great advice, and she's 100% better now.
As of two days ago I have officially been in my speech-language pathology program for a full month now, and I am LOVING it. My classes, classmates, and professors are great, I love getting to work with my assigned client in clinic, and though I'm now incredibly busy it's all work that feels valuable to me. Moreover, my wife and I are really enjoying Oregon, my family came out to visit us just last week and they all thought it was beautiful - and heck, I'm even typing this on the laptop I got after sockermom and others steered me right when I was contemplating what laptop to get for grad school (holy cow am I glad I didn't get the heavier one I'd been considering - my Asus comes with me everywhere now).
I have mentioned the career changing help AskMe has given me in previous MetaTalk questions, but looking through the progression really makes me appreciate all the big and small ways my life is better thanks to this site. I really can't think of another place on the internet that has added so much to my life, and it's fun to see how it's helped other mefites, too - thanks for asking this question, tedious!
posted by DingoMutt at 10:31 AM on October 21, 2017 [8 favorites]
I did some reading on my own and then followed up by asking for input from speech-language pathologists about the field, and Stacey kindly put me in touch with a university SLP in the city where I was living. I left my meeting with that person even more fired up about the idea, and ultimately spent the next two years completing the leveling courses necessary to apply to grad school.
I ended up being accepted into ~10 graduate programs (woohoo!), and then my biggest challenge was deciding which one to accept. I was particularly intrigued at the prospect of moving across the country to Oregon (and the DingoWife was REALLY into this option), but with all the rest of my family living in Florida I was worried about how it would feel to live so far away so I once again turned to AskMe for advice. The reassurance I got helped us make our decision, and on June 30 we loaded up our car (newly acquired after AskMe helped me sell my beloved old hatchback for much more than I'd expected) and drove to Oregon. The one speed bump we hit along the way was a minor breakdown on our poor dog's part halfway through the drive, but once again the folks on AskMe had great advice, and she's 100% better now.
As of two days ago I have officially been in my speech-language pathology program for a full month now, and I am LOVING it. My classes, classmates, and professors are great, I love getting to work with my assigned client in clinic, and though I'm now incredibly busy it's all work that feels valuable to me. Moreover, my wife and I are really enjoying Oregon, my family came out to visit us just last week and they all thought it was beautiful - and heck, I'm even typing this on the laptop I got after sockermom and others steered me right when I was contemplating what laptop to get for grad school (holy cow am I glad I didn't get the heavier one I'd been considering - my Asus comes with me everywhere now).
I have mentioned the career changing help AskMe has given me in previous MetaTalk questions, but looking through the progression really makes me appreciate all the big and small ways my life is better thanks to this site. I really can't think of another place on the internet that has added so much to my life, and it's fun to see how it's helped other mefites, too - thanks for asking this question, tedious!
posted by DingoMutt at 10:31 AM on October 21, 2017 [8 favorites]
UCLA's Korean Studies department now has a scrapbook of letters from a Korean orphanage
I got a job, but not the one I was asking about
My nordic solstice parties are still going strong with awesome tunes thanks to Metafilter
posted by vespabelle at 10:39 AM on October 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
I got a job, but not the one I was asking about
My nordic solstice parties are still going strong with awesome tunes thanks to Metafilter
posted by vespabelle at 10:39 AM on October 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
With treatment, my Max happily lived for almost 2 more years. After he passed in July 2016, Ollie was sad for about a month but adjusted just fine. (On the other hand, I miss Max every day.) After 2 rounds of meds, Murphy Maximus (Ollie's new brother and kind-of-best friend) tested clear of giardia and Ollie never caught it.
I moved my blog to a new host and got a new domain name and it all worked out fine.
This tooth ended up breaking and I wore a flipper for almost two years without losing it or breaking it. The lisp went away, and this July I finally finished the dental implant process. New tooth # 7 is pretty and looks great and I smile again.
Mom and I went to Virginia Beach four years in a row and made great memories. With some gentle pharmaceutical help her anxiety about flying faded away, and yesterday we returned from a 4-night cruise through the Bahamas.
posted by kimberussell at 12:30 PM on October 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
I moved my blog to a new host and got a new domain name and it all worked out fine.
This tooth ended up breaking and I wore a flipper for almost two years without losing it or breaking it. The lisp went away, and this July I finally finished the dental implant process. New tooth # 7 is pretty and looks great and I smile again.
Mom and I went to Virginia Beach four years in a row and made great memories. With some gentle pharmaceutical help her anxiety about flying faded away, and yesterday we returned from a 4-night cruise through the Bahamas.
posted by kimberussell at 12:30 PM on October 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
After a series of bad breaks in DC in the fall of 2011, I told the city to go fuck itself and moved to a new house in Philadelphia with some social network but no job plans whatsoever. After a traumatic event that made me question what I wanted my life goals to be and many shitty temp gigs (I quit the one from that question not long after I posted it), I started researching new career fields. Eventually I decided on nursing, though I wound up applying to school one year after that question instead of the same fall. Nursing school itself was hard, and I had to stumble through two shitty jobs at first, in no small part because all my earlier employment trauma left me with so little confidence in my abilities. But then my dream job recruited me away! I've been here for three weeks now, and it almost feels like jinxing something to mention how much I love it here, but it's been great so far. I look at all the things in that earlier question about job fields and what I wanted in a position--varied tasks, not sitting all day, working with adults, and viewing health through a bigger picture approach--any my current job ticks all those boxes.
Oh, and in a moment I am so, so proud of, my manager told me that I am "so gifted" in working with our very high-needs population. Suck it first boss who kept telling me I did empathy wrong. I learned, and I grew, and now I'm gifted at working with the same people you told me I should have never worked with. Revenge is so so sweet.
posted by ActionPopulated at 1:54 PM on October 21, 2017 [12 favorites]
Oh, and in a moment I am so, so proud of, my manager told me that I am "so gifted" in working with our very high-needs population. Suck it first boss who kept telling me I did empathy wrong. I learned, and I grew, and now I'm gifted at working with the same people you told me I should have never worked with. Revenge is so so sweet.
posted by ActionPopulated at 1:54 PM on October 21, 2017 [12 favorites]
I asked this question about emotion and brief dissociation episodes. I got much of feedback and I remain very grateful for everyone.
From there it was a quest in search of insights. I've come to see, to some extent, the result of the ill-developed emotional "competency", so to speak, for the lack of a better label. I'm beginning to accept that I'm capable of very intense emotions, which is both a vulnerability and a power. With power there comes responsibilities.
I've seen that emotions are embodied. They're not "mine", as some object that I abstractly "own". They are part of what I am. They're a highly evolved function. It's disruption is akin to sabotaging the endless links of thoughts, feelings, perceptions, actions, and expressions, which we inevitably find ourselves in.
It was a long history of how it became like that, and there has been much damage. But I've seen something.
posted by runcifex at 5:32 AM on October 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
From there it was a quest in search of insights. I've come to see, to some extent, the result of the ill-developed emotional "competency", so to speak, for the lack of a better label. I'm beginning to accept that I'm capable of very intense emotions, which is both a vulnerability and a power. With power there comes responsibilities.
I've seen that emotions are embodied. They're not "mine", as some object that I abstractly "own". They are part of what I am. They're a highly evolved function. It's disruption is akin to sabotaging the endless links of thoughts, feelings, perceptions, actions, and expressions, which we inevitably find ourselves in.
It was a long history of how it became like that, and there has been much damage. But I've seen something.
posted by runcifex at 5:32 AM on October 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
Oh man, this was the most satisfying trip down memory lane ever, thank you.
My first ask ever was about my husband's struggle with the crappy biotech job market of 2012ish. Then he got a job so we bought a house and had a couple more kids. They came very early, had a rough stay in the NICU, and were erroneously identified as showing very early signs of severe cerebral palsy.
They're three years old now and healthy. And my family's really happy in our 1200 square foot ranch. And all my questions are about things like gardening and buying camisoles.
posted by gerstle at 9:13 PM on October 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
My first ask ever was about my husband's struggle with the crappy biotech job market of 2012ish. Then he got a job so we bought a house and had a couple more kids. They came very early, had a rough stay in the NICU, and were erroneously identified as showing very early signs of severe cerebral palsy.
They're three years old now and healthy. And my family's really happy in our 1200 square foot ranch. And all my questions are about things like gardening and buying camisoles.
posted by gerstle at 9:13 PM on October 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
I am not currently overridden with fleas! and happily I didn't have to hire an exterminator or anything. There for a while I was regularly getting fun and weird things in the mail and that was cool. I quit tindr and haven't looked back. Still crushing it, single style.
I seem to ask a lot of questions, and not always the right ones ...
posted by bunderful at 6:20 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I seem to ask a lot of questions, and not always the right ones ...
posted by bunderful at 6:20 PM on October 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
Thanks, unliteral. I must have broken the flea link.
posted by bunderful at 7:14 PM on October 24, 2017
posted by bunderful at 7:14 PM on October 24, 2017
So, I wanted to buy a boat.
So I bought a boat that was actually a bar, and was in the Netherlands and had a Dutch name.
I thought for a while about building lots of fun sensors and things in it...
But there was lightning and that caused some difficulty.
As time went by we started making headway on turning a bar into a home.
Like, making the door a little easier to open. or making it easier to go from shore to ship.
A long running (and still not fully resolved) issue was dealing with very boat specific issues, like insulating portholes in a not terrible way. The solution currently seems to be bendy ply and an oscillating multitool. Though I haven't fully finished them yet.
Whilst replumbing the sewage connection I discovered that 32mm is apparently exactly equal to 1-1/4". and started speculating about issues of river cleanliness.
In fact it got so homely in the boat (this wasn't really true at the time, but it fits the narrative) that we decided to increase the number of inhabitants. In doing so we discovered that small boat doors don't necessarily go that well with comfy armchairs.
But, on the whole, the baby process went relatively smoothly.
We had a lovely fire for the winter, which was helpful, because the electricity was still a bit twitchy after the lightning (since fixed, for now...).
I built a nice flight of stairs, albeit with low headroom.
We built a nice wooden floor (but I got distracted by a sunbeam)
So now, I'm finally getting round to finishing the front cabin which is even curvier than the rest of it and in the process discovered that our boat might have seen some action, defending people from Nazi's.
The current task, finally replace the terrible bathroom!
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 8:42 AM on October 25, 2017 [5 favorites]
So I bought a boat that was actually a bar, and was in the Netherlands and had a Dutch name.
I thought for a while about building lots of fun sensors and things in it...
But there was lightning and that caused some difficulty.
As time went by we started making headway on turning a bar into a home.
Like, making the door a little easier to open. or making it easier to go from shore to ship.
A long running (and still not fully resolved) issue was dealing with very boat specific issues, like insulating portholes in a not terrible way. The solution currently seems to be bendy ply and an oscillating multitool. Though I haven't fully finished them yet.
Whilst replumbing the sewage connection I discovered that 32mm is apparently exactly equal to 1-1/4". and started speculating about issues of river cleanliness.
In fact it got so homely in the boat (this wasn't really true at the time, but it fits the narrative) that we decided to increase the number of inhabitants. In doing so we discovered that small boat doors don't necessarily go that well with comfy armchairs.
But, on the whole, the baby process went relatively smoothly.
We had a lovely fire for the winter, which was helpful, because the electricity was still a bit twitchy after the lightning (since fixed, for now...).
I built a nice flight of stairs, albeit with low headroom.
We built a nice wooden floor (but I got distracted by a sunbeam)
So now, I'm finally getting round to finishing the front cabin which is even curvier than the rest of it and in the process discovered that our boat might have seen some action, defending people from Nazi's.
The current task, finally replace the terrible bathroom!
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 8:42 AM on October 25, 2017 [5 favorites]
Super recommend reading every link above, that was a delightful journey!
posted by ellieBOA at 10:53 AM on October 25, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by ellieBOA at 10:53 AM on October 25, 2017 [1 favorite]
I left this job, started this other job, and then left the Bay Area instead of whatever cart before horse moving/job situation I was asking about here. We found someone to take over the lease after only one showing. The trip across country on our way out of CA was one of the most memorable months of our marriage. We didn't go through with a crazy plan to buy our friends' rental, although we did live with them for several months when we moved to CO. We now live a couple blocks away, which was a far better decision. The 'tapdancing' boss from my very first job question link wrote me a recommendation for grad school. Neither of these PhD programs were the right choice, but I transferred halfway through my first year and have been unbelievably happy with my day to day life and career trajectory for basically two years now, which is a new record.
Oh, and Google stopped doing those football Gameday Doodles almost immediately after I asked the question. I still wonder about the cause and effect there.
posted by deludingmyself at 3:34 PM on October 25, 2017
Oh, and Google stopped doing those football Gameday Doodles almost immediately after I asked the question. I still wonder about the cause and effect there.
posted by deludingmyself at 3:34 PM on October 25, 2017
Got married. Very happy, notwithstanding husband flipping himself over his bike two weeks later. Thanks guys.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 11:21 AM on October 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by flibbertigibbet at 11:21 AM on October 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
I checked my profile for sequential questions and there aren't many, but is it cool if I just gush for a minute about how Metafilter has changed my life? I now strive for success with equanimity and am doing great in my career, have left two jobs on good terms and was told by more than one person my departure was more gracious than seems humanly possible, have amazing housemates, act more wisely with boundaries and communication and kindness in relationships, did not keep dating that one guy, chilled out and found a productive way forward in my leadership role... and that's just the questions I asked.
Seriously, AskMetafilter has grown me up and adulted me and I'm so grateful. So many of the frameworks I draw on for decision-making and investing in a valuable life came from these pages. I'm more confident and equipped and operate out of a sense of self-worth and acceptance that's modeled every day in these AskMes. idk. This is just a really magical place. I feel like I've gotten a life power-up and a thousand hugs all in the same forum.
posted by ramenopres at 11:44 AM on October 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
Seriously, AskMetafilter has grown me up and adulted me and I'm so grateful. So many of the frameworks I draw on for decision-making and investing in a valuable life came from these pages. I'm more confident and equipped and operate out of a sense of self-worth and acceptance that's modeled every day in these AskMes. idk. This is just a really magical place. I feel like I've gotten a life power-up and a thousand hugs all in the same forum.
posted by ramenopres at 11:44 AM on October 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
From being serially dumped by 5 people in my early days of transition to getting married.
posted by Annika Cicada at 2:58 PM on October 30, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Annika Cicada at 2:58 PM on October 30, 2017 [3 favorites]
I got a used car as my first car when learning to drive over age 35. I put some important stuff in it, and fixed it up with a part from a junkyard when it got body damage from an accident. I bought a new car for my second car (no posts), which I'm now thinking about replacing (post from a few days ago).
I went on some trips, both alone and with Misterben as our relationship developed. We moved in together. We got married, and recently had our 10-year-date-iversary. We bought a house and are working on the landscaping. We joined AARP.
I lost some jobs and got some jobs (no links, but it's all on my profile, and oh so tedious.)
So basically my whole grownup-adult life is on AskMe. (Thank god my 20s aren't on here because it would be a lot of relationship drama and needing to D some MFs A.)
I did reduce the number of books I own and now only have about 2.5 Ikea bookcases full.
However, the wool-eating cat (fondly known by Metachat people as the "woolsucking fucker") never stopped eating wool. He died of cancer a few years back and is dearly missed.
posted by matildaben at 8:24 AM on November 1, 2017
I went on some trips, both alone and with Misterben as our relationship developed. We moved in together. We got married, and recently had our 10-year-date-iversary. We bought a house and are working on the landscaping. We joined AARP.
I lost some jobs and got some jobs (no links, but it's all on my profile, and oh so tedious.)
So basically my whole grownup-adult life is on AskMe. (Thank god my 20s aren't on here because it would be a lot of relationship drama and needing to D some MFs A.)
I did reduce the number of books I own and now only have about 2.5 Ikea bookcases full.
However, the wool-eating cat (fondly known by Metachat people as the "woolsucking fucker") never stopped eating wool. He died of cancer a few years back and is dearly missed.
posted by matildaben at 8:24 AM on November 1, 2017
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posted by MrMoonPie at 1:19 PM on October 18, 2017 [4 favorites]