Metatalktail Hour: Change Your Mind! August 17, 2019 5:35 PM   Subscribe

Good Saturday evening, MetaFilter! This week, ricochet biscuit wants to know, "What is the last thing you changed your mind about?"

As always, this is a conversation starter, not limiter, so tell us everything that's up with you! And send me ideas for future metatalktails!
posted by Eyebrows McGee to MetaFilter-Related at 5:35 PM (72 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

My yard plans are always subject to a change of mind. Today I planned on cutting many of the tree branches encroaching on the roof with my [borrowed] pole saw. After two branches I changed my mind and called it a day.

I heart professional arborists today more than ever.

Also, I was planning on making a new flower bed in my yard by smothering the grass with cardboard/compost/mulch, but I decided this week that I’m going to just dig up the sod with the $10 manual sod cutter rented from the neighborhood hardware store. If I can prep the garden bed in time to sow native meadow seed in October, then I can get a jump start on next year’s growing season as opposed to buying more expensive plants and waiting for the cardboard to decay.

I keep thinking that if I do the hard work now, I won’t have to do as much work in the coming years, but I’m starting to realize that as long as there is grass in my yard I will be working to grow something cooler than a lawn. This may be my life’s work, as opposed to the job that pays me money to cover my mortgage and property taxes.
posted by Maarika at 5:56 PM on August 17 [8 favorites]


I grew up as the weird child who preferred whole wheat bread, went through a substantial portion of my 30s thinking it had started tasting unpleasantly bitter, and recently went back to it again. I can't identify any reason why it tastes different. It just does. I have also recently realized that I now like orange life savers, the bane of my childhood, but I admit I probably hadn't had one in twenty years before I impulse bought a pack last week, so I have no idea when that really changed.
posted by Sequence at 6:07 PM on August 17 [4 favorites]


It can be the existence of an afterlife, it can be the best pizza toppings. Myself, I was stuck in a rut in my freelance job, pouring way too much time and energy into a foundering project that was poorly launched (thanks to my early errors). I decided to ease off on that and focus on another project which requires similar amounts of time and resources and which reaps rewards an order of magnitude higher, financially and emotionally. I will relaunch the other project with better groundwork next year, now that I have seen what will work better.

Also, not long ago, with no big huzzah, I became a convert to the cause of the singular "they."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:08 PM on August 17 [13 favorites]


For years, I've preached to my son about the virtues of planning ahead and being prepared and packing the right tools for the job. And yet....His buddy asked him to come along on a run to the big box store for lumber. They picked out what they needed, and pushed the big flat cart out to the vehicle, and realized that the materials wouldn't fit inside. "So we looked at each other, and said, 'Shit.'" was how he described the scene. They couldn't remember the terms "ratchet straps" or "tie downs," but went back in and managed to find what they needed, and then did the best they could to secure the lumber to the roof, with my kid's arm hanging out the window, steadying the load. He told me how proud he was that they worked this out on the fly, and the look on his face has made me reconsider my own urges to have a plan and tools at all times, because sometimes it really is fun to be confounded, and to say "Shit," and feel good about improvising a way to make the thing work.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:09 PM on August 17 [34 favorites]


What is the last thing you changed your mind about?

I wasn't going to post a comment, but then I did anyway.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 6:19 PM on August 17 [24 favorites]


I was going to post a comment but decided not to.
posted by lollusc at 6:21 PM on August 17 [21 favorites]


Oops.
posted by lollusc at 6:21 PM on August 17 [29 favorites]


I never liked mustard when I was a little kid but in the last couple of years I've enjoyed putting it on sandwiches. Hot dogs shall always remain mustard-free, though: relish and grilled onions on hot dogs all the way!
posted by XMLicious at 7:12 PM on August 17 [3 favorites]


Guilt. Guilt, man, that messes you up. I was brought up to be nice, to say sorry for things, and have felt guilt my entire life, for not being nicer, better, richer, thinner, more normal, eating too much, not eating the right foods, hair too curly, having an outtie belly button (even tho' it saved me at birth! I had positive Rh factor & my Mom had negative, so I had to have a blood transfer at birth, as my oldest brother had given her the deadly antibodies with his positive Rh ahead of me, thanks, bro'!). Then I got made fun of by my siblings for my out-ward facing belly button. And my curly, frizzy, wild hair. My Mom used to tell me I looked like a witch. I was NEVER allowed to leave it down as a child. Braided, No More Tangles, pony tails, but never just allowed to run wild and free with my own hair.

I was one of those weird theater people. I had boyfriends and had sex without being married. I had a child out of wedlock (gasp!) and managed to raise her on my own, working my ass off, but boy, when I wanted to go dancing once in a while or date a MAN, my older sister (who had had the good sense to have a shotgun wedding when she got pregnant, and my Mom was 3 months pregnant with said older brother, but that was okay, because she was ENGAGED), Sis was judging the ever-living CRAP out of me for wanting to date, so I booked it out of there and got a roommate and did as I damned well pleased.

I still worked my ass off, cleaned my apartment, made healthy meals for my daughter, took her to the library, spent most of my off hours with her. But once a month or so, I went to ladies' night at the local club, leaving her overnight with the sitter, and danced my fool 22-year-old ass off. I didn't go home with guys, I just dance and drank cheap rum and cokes, and danced and danced and dance. Then I stopped at White Castle on the way home and got some sliders, went home, and got up and went back to work the next day. Fuck guilt, man, that shit will eat you alive.

I'm 55 goddamn years old, and I have lost 16 pounds since the beginning of the year. I went out on Friday and bought myself some new clothes, and I wore them to the store today, along with my fancy $16,000 insurance-appraised sapphire ring, that I got for $150 at a pawn shop, and my amber ring from Portobello Road Market, which trip I paid for by selling novelty ideas in the late 1990's for $4,000 cash money on the barrel. And oh, my siblings tried to make me feel guilty for that! Ooooh, a trip to England! OMG. How dare I? I fucking paid all of my bills for 2 months, quit my temp job, and went to England for a week. They acted like I had eyes growing out of the back of my head. Horrors! That I would do something for MYSELF.

I don't know what it is about my family. I mean, they are seemingly nice people. Well educated, talented, etc. But whenever I step out of line, the norms of normal human behavior, I get slapped down. So I don't talk to them anymore. Because fuck guilt. I changed my mind to stop feeling guilty about living my own life. I am not hurting anyone, and I am a super nice person, to my husband, my cats, my friends and neighbors, and all of the people I have ever met along the way LIKE me. So fuck guilt, and fuck family members who try and make you feel guilty for being yourself. Seriously.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:40 PM on August 17 [86 favorites]


This is a neat question. I look forward to responses.

The last significant thing I've changed my mind about is pretty obscure and geeky: the Hubble's constant controversy. (In short, several sets of largely independent measurements give uncomfortably different values for the local expansion rate of the universe.) I've gone from "I will bet you my home that it's all just underestimated systematics and one or both sides are simply wrong" to "there's at least a 10% chance that both are right and new physics is involved." It sounds pretty minor, but I find the change surprising and exciting.

The last significant thing I've changed my mind about that non-physicists might care about is price gauging during crises. I've slowly and painfully come around to the idea that removing barriers to price gauging may actually be the least-bad way to distribute resources in an emergency, assuming governments and NGOs have failed to fill local needs. (If they've succeeded, then price gauging doesn't work anyway.) It's more correlated with need than first-in-line policies or lotteries or pretty much any other realistic option, and it incentivizes local redistribution and efforts to import goods. As a rather strident anti-capitalist, I was surprised to find myself convinced that this is one of the very few cases where unrestricted commerce is actually the best option. (I've yet to meet anyone who agrees with me.)

The last totally insignificant thing I've changed my mind about is dolmades. I don't hate them, but they're less good than either the raw ingredients or pretty much any other option on the menu. I've decided to stop ordering them or taking them from plates. I've been putting up with them since I was a kid and they're always disappointing. (If you like them, cheers! You can have mine.)
posted by eotvos at 7:43 PM on August 17 [8 favorites]


I’m voting Green in the next election. (You heard it here first!) I’ve never voted anything but Liberal federally. But I’m voting Green next time. Something’s got to change.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 7:53 PM on August 17 [5 favorites]


My next round of T-Shirts will have pockets so I have a place to stow my reading glasses. In the current times I can't just get pissed off with my hair and buzz cut it off without looking like a skinhead. Don't taunt the gas station dude about computer things...he's next generation and thinks you're a moron for not being amazed at the latest 6-month framework fad and has no interest in computer science as a whole (Bless His Soul).

+++

It's officially crunch time. I have pictures of my nephew in his new dorm room (painted cinderblock), and his roommate (oddly taller), and his year-long-ish year older GF who attends the same university (woo hoo). So I have about a month or two to finalize the A Certain Oddlystrange Prescient Bucket project and send him his evil uncle welcome to the real world care package.

That has also changed and morphed over the last year that I've been back-of-the-mind planning things. A bit like MonkeyToes a mix of "here's what I would have taught you" and "pat yourself on the back, you'll do fine". Hopefully. But here's a bucket of stuff anyways, you'll need it.
posted by zengargoyle at 7:57 PM on August 17 [2 favorites]


I keep going back on forth on whether I think those weird Amazon twitter accounts are real or not.
posted by bleep at 8:33 PM on August 17


Apparently I changed my mind about needing a huge batch of cheap, bulk, gummi bears. C'mon they had grapefruit flavor, I never buy stuff like this, and I bought a bunch of other sweet things. Not my usual. I have a shoulder and bicep injury and maybe trauma makes for a sweet tooth. My neighbor brought me surprise summer bbq! Gummis for dessert. I also fell in love recently, this was a shocker as I thought I was dead inside!
posted by Oyéah at 9:24 PM on August 17 [18 favorites]


I recently converted to polytheism after being agnostic-bordering-on-atheist my whole life. It wasn't a rational choice, just something I suddenly knew, and it's creating all sorts of bizarre (but expected, had I thought about it, but since I didn't think about it, I didn't expect them) ripple-effects that are kind of complicating my life and entire belief structure, and it's not like there's a logical person to go talk to about all this, so it's just... a thing that is happening and that I'm attempting to navigate the best I can.

The last thing I thought I changed my mind about was eggplant. I was collecting pre-made stuff at the market for a mezze platter on Monday and I grabbed some hummus and some olives and a couple other spreads, including baba ganoush, thinking that I should give eggplant a chance every now and then to see if I have started to like it. (I did not buy dolmades, as I am fully aware I don't like them either, eotvos!) I was reading my book and eating, and I started eating the baba ganoush and it was AMAZING! I was so proud of myself -- I liked eggplant! I have always wanted to like eggplant, because they are such beautiful vegetables! Yay! Then I realized I was actually eating the red-pepper-walnut-pomegranate spread. Which was seriously amazing, but I already liked all those ingredients previously. So then I tried the baba ganoush. I apparently still do not like eggplant.
posted by lazuli at 9:32 PM on August 17 [17 favorites]


Wow, I think I just had my first encounter with an ALS person. I was homeless and now recycle and take every opportunity to collect cans and make them an easy find/haul for the can harvesters. That's usually waiting for the recycling bins to hit the street and placing a bag of cans right on the top so the lucky person doesn't have to dig. Or when I happen to see a can harvester out an about, dragging them back to my abode with promises of a good haul. blah blah blah.

So tonight I saw this electric wheelchair bound neighborhood dude (that I've seen around long enough) poking about the trash outside the corner market in the obvious can harvester way.

I go into my standard spiel: cans? you want cans? i have cans. follow me, short distance.... lot's of cans... come, this way...

Simple is best with possibly non-english speakers or street crazy. It's a mix of trust and follow me and I'll give you cans.

So he follows me home and waits outside while I get cans. This is how it usually goes. But he starts waving his arms about the bushes and saying "go, back" (I'll spare you trying to type how that sounded). He's agitated a bit. I think he want's me to check behind the bushes for more cans. Attempted conversation ensues. I take a stroll through the bushes wondering what's up with looking for more cans. He keeps gesturing and "go, back". Then he staggers his way out of the wheelchair carrying the bag of cans into the bushes and drops them and staggers back saying "go, back".

"Sokath, his eyes open!"

I get it. He's the one going and coming back. Drop the stash off and maybe go home to caretakers and come back later. OMG he's probably totally capable of understanding me and has wits about him all Hawking like.

Hope nobody steals his cans from the bushes. Hope he's really in there and just can't motor function well. Hope he gives me a pass on my simple word and gesture communication style.

Maybe next time it will be more 20 questions style where "yes, no, thank you" are enough to pin down that sneaky suspicion that I have that dude might just be all there and can't get out.

We'll see.
posted by zengargoyle at 9:33 PM on August 17 [6 favorites]


I always separate laundry, lights vs. darks, heavyweight vs. filmy... My husband never separates any of his clothes, but just throws everything in together. Jeans, underwear, and if there’s a towels or dirty rag, that goes in, too. For years I’ve warned him, “You’re going to ruuuuiiiinnnn your clothes!” But nothing has ever been ruined. So now I’ve changed my mind. It’s not necessary. But I’ll continue separating my laundry out of habit, compulsion, and an overactive sense of keeping order.
posted by Knowyournuts at 10:44 PM on August 17 [13 favorites]


Also, Marie Mon Dieu, heart heart heart. That was amazing. Thanks for sharing that.
posted by Knowyournuts at 10:46 PM on August 17 [5 favorites]


My whole adult life I’ve believed in single payer health care as the only solution here in the U.S. I’m now one year into a deep dive into an academic health policy program and its clear to me that that is not only insufficient to solve the problems in American healthcare but it is also not a requirement to solve the problems of American healhcare.

Don’t get me wrong — single payer could certainly be a worthwhile option, and all the players I’ve always thought of as the Bad Guys are definitely still the Bad Guys, but there’s a lot that healthcare organizations themselves need to do, and doctors need to cap their salaries, and there are scenarios that would probably work that would preserve multiple competitive insurance plans under far tighter regulation. Also, primary care should absolutely definitely not be funded by insurance companies. This stuff gets super complicated and there really are no simple solutions. But there are solutions, you’re just not likely to hear a real one as part of a campaign stump speech. “Medicare for all” is sort of a gross oversimplification and really a meaningless slogan without a whole lot of other explanation behind it. The point is, I used to believe there was a simple solution — tear down the insurance industry— and the change in my opinion is that it is more complicated than that. Fortunately, there are some people out there who have a good grasp on these complex issues. Trump doesn’t listen to any of them, but several of the Democrats do.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:48 PM on August 17 [25 favorites]


I just changed my mind about moving house and have decided to stay put for six more months where I am. I was hoping to move to a more permanent place where we can get a cat and put plants in the ground instead of containers. And most importantly, so we can go from LDR to just R. But the timing is not right and I need to save my money for upcoming big expenses anyway (ie, ILR … my life is full of acronyms).

The plus side is that I get to break the spell of having not lived in a place for more than a year in six+ years! And I don’t have to move a balcony full of plants. Yet.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:06 AM on August 18 [5 favorites]


Marie, you are my kind of person
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:03 AM on August 18 [1 favorite]


Hmm. OK, I used to think it was embarrassing that syntax was so fragmented: you have Chomsky's theory, then Chomsky's other theories, then GS, Word Grammar, Relational Grammar, construction grammar, etc, etc. Shouldn't science provide The Answer, or at least the best answer?

Then, writing a book on syntax, I realized that it's OK. The analogy shouldn't be physics, where there is usually The Answer, but mathematics, where you can have multiple very different proofs of the same theorem, or computer science, where everyone can solve a problem in a different way.
posted by zompist at 4:44 AM on August 18 [8 favorites]


I've always had this incredibly naive notion in my mind about how to live the perfect life. Do your chores, work hard, pay your bills, never be late, don't let anybody else down, do what you say you will do, help anybody you know that asks for it, do it now.

It dawned on me that this was the ideal recipe for a complete nervous breakdown, and it came pretty close.

I've narrowed the list down considerably. It looks more like work/sleep/pay bills/clean house regularly/think about the rest when you want to. Also, read more books and stay off the Internet.

I like the new mind better.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 6:15 AM on August 18 [25 favorites]


I am in the process of trying to change my mind about a relationship that's become difficult, where I am probably the main obstacle right now to making it better. It's incredibly hard to do this! Thank god for Mr. eirias. (and for some MeFi-recommended readings on anxiety, which should arrive at my doorstep tomorrow)

More trivially, we were going to go to a party last night, but I was feeling kind of under the weather, so instead we stayed in and ate leftovers and taught Little e to play rummy.
posted by eirias at 9:08 AM on August 18 [6 favorites]


For the past ten years or so I've been certain that I was pretty much totally out of media fandom--done with it, wasn't watching anything much, or getting enrapt with anything, and especially not writing fanfic anymore. And then . . . Good Omens happened; and after a brief struggle against temptation, I fell, and went and did a big swan-dive right back into the soup. (And have what will likely be a >100,000-word story outlined. FUCK.)
posted by Kat Allison at 9:14 AM on August 18 [15 favorites]


Most recently I changed my mind about whether I was above binge-watching YouTube channels about cycling. I am not. I know they're essentially clickbait designed to sell me bikes and bike parts. I don't care. I still want to watch people biking across Scotland, even if it's also an ad for panniers.

If it inspires me to take my own cycling a little more seriously, and if it inspires me to actually get out there and bike more every day or every week, I think it's a net positive overall. Of course, with the crazy heat, high humidity, and biting insects that make up the Maryland trinity, I haven't been able to get out as much as I'd like. I wanted to bike to the Mt. Rainier Bike Co-Op today, which is about 8 miles away, but it's just too hot. I've gotten badly overheated when it was 10 degrees cooler than it is today, so I'm playing it safe. I'll get out tonight if it cools off enough. Summer can't end fast enough and/or I can't leave Maryland fast enough.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 9:55 AM on August 18 [4 favorites]


Oh, I also changed my mind about getting Strava. I thought I was too casual a rider for it, and I thought it was only for major fitness types -- but actually, I really like knowing various stats like my average and top speeds, elevation gained, the various grades along my routes, and so on (I climbed 1670 feet this week! I routinely ride up an 11% grade on my fixie!). Like I said, I'm not getting out as much as I'd like, but I think I'm doing alright considering. I haven't gotten the paid version, because I'm not flush with cash and I'm not sure it's necessary, but I'll probably cave on that eventually.

This is something I never thought I'd say, but if you need/want more friends on Strava, send me a MeMail and we can follow each other. I like having people to keep up with, and my one cyclist friend still hasn't followed me back.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 10:06 AM on August 18 [5 favorites]


A couple of years of listening to the indie station on SiriusXM has convinced me that I was wrong about electronic sounds in pop music. I'm not to the point of being interested in full-on EDM or dubstep or what have you. But I'm completely cool with and increasingly pleased by synths, programmed drums, and various electronic burps and gurgles inflitrating my indie pop and indie rock. And I fully acknowledge that the bleeding edge of music has long since moved from four track recorders onto laptops.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:12 AM on August 18 [4 favorites]


I thought it was pointless for my kid's school to have sent a corn seedling home, but we dutifully planted it in a little pot and damn me if there isn't an ear forming on it, with a fluffy crown of silk on it and everything. so cute.
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:13 AM on August 18 [23 favorites]


Around 8am I decided to sleep in rather than going to the farmers market.

Partly because on Friday I saw a really great art exhibit at a museum with a really hard floor and my feet are still killing me. Folks in the twin cities, if you can get to MIA for Hearts of Our People, it is absolutely amazing.
posted by bile and syntax at 10:29 AM on August 18 [9 favorites]


I used to not form strong opinions and found merit on both sides (not talking about evil stuff, here.) I was brought up with children being seen and not heard plus am an introverted female.I had a basic tenet about treating people and animals right but that was about it.

I am way more opinionated. I have strong opinions about most environmental, social and economic issues. And I am willing to put my thoughts into action.

Now, I have lived long enough and have seen, studied and experienced enough to believe that my ideas and thoughts are important and worthy.
posted by mightshould at 11:02 AM on August 18 [13 favorites]


I'm prone to bouts of extreme self-doubt which can border on self-hate so changing my mind, while undoubtedly a good thing from time to time can be a tad fraught. I've changed my mind on placements of vegetables in the garden, and on trimming your tomato plants, as this year has shown that unpredictable weather can change best practices overnight.

On Wednesday as it became clear some of my tomato plants were goners, I executed a tomato tear out. This is a part one sadly, as I realized I only had so much room in the compost bin. The weather here was so unbearably hot I had some emergency watering to do, and some very stressed plants. The rapid switch back from fog and rain to bright sunny skies is just murder on a garden. At least it's cooling down some. I even had the time to do some replanting and reseeding which at least means I have less to do next week. I also put in a Graptopetalum amethystinum in the front patch. Here's hoping no one steals it. The dog based perks of my job continue, with a sleepy spaniel, a good sitting pitty, and a happy tripod.

I hope everyone is doing well this weekend and all weekends. Peace out.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 11:47 AM on August 18 [6 favorites]


I’ve decided, “first having read the book of myths, / and loaded the camera, / and checked the edge of the knife-blade,” to start reading more Adrienne Rich after all.

Would she roll over in her grave to hear me reading my trans gender into her “we who refuse to be women and men as women and men are chartered?” Maybe she would. Maybe she wouldn’t. I think the answer is less important than what I might learn about how to be “a woman in the shape of a monster / a monster in the shape of a woman.”
posted by haltingproblemsolved at 11:52 AM on August 18 [8 favorites]


At work I change my mind pretty frequently: I work in a pretty data-driven field, and find it helpful to form a strong hypothesis early, but then let evidence change my mind where appropriate. I try to be pretty loud and obvious about this, to normalize that being wrong is fine and normal, and encourage others to be open about their priors.

On the personal front, I am in the process of changing my mind about the effectiveness of going to therapy (for me). In the past I’ve made several attempts that either went poorly or just didn’t provide me any benefit, so I was pretty sure that this was just not a good tool for me. But after the anxiety got real bad this year, I’m trying again and this time it actually seems to be helping. Not sure if it’s my new therapist (who is awesome!) or something about me; likely a combination.
posted by a device for making your enemy change his mind at 12:39 PM on August 18 [10 favorites]


The last big one was I changed my mind about the flu shot. It was about five years ago and I've gotten one every season since.
posted by aspersioncast at 1:43 PM on August 18 [8 favorites]


I kind of like Bernie Sanders now compared to 2016. His policy platforms on my issues (disability rights and criminal legal system) are better (I think he has better staff).
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 1:57 PM on August 18 [8 favorites]


Duran Duran and the viability of cheap Sub- orbital Spacecraft.
posted by clavdivs at 2:48 PM on August 18 [5 favorites]


I've always had this incredibly naive notion in my mind about how to live the perfect life. Do your chores, work hard, pay your bills, never be late, don't let anybody else down, do what you say you will do, help anybody you know that asks for it, do it now.

I'm glad you said this, because this has been me also and it's been challenging for me to change a little bit of that so that I can chill more than...never. I've blabbed about this before, but both my parents died in the past decade. One was a miser and one was just someone with a fancy job. They left some stuff+money for me and my sister and it's been a blessing and a curse. That's a little beside the point.

The big thing is, I take after the miser and have a really hard time getting my head around the fact that it's okay to just... do less sometimes. Prepare less. Be on top of everything a little less. Mostly because other people don't usually care (my friends love me anyhow, I've always overperformed at work, etc etc). And this is especially true because there are some times you can toss money at a problem and it goes 100% away. Not all problems, certainly, and everyone's got their own personal limits at how much they can toss at how hard a problem for it to be a real option for them. And I've always managed problems the hard way as if this was not an option: taken the bus when I could have taken a cab, walked when I could have taken a bus, bought generic when I preferred non-generic, not turned on the AC when I was too hot, waited for a thing to be on sale when it would save me $2. This is how I grew up. This was what I mistook for virtue. And some of that is virtuous. Exercise has value. Interacting with your community has value. Saving money has value. I still get every book at the library. Still walk when I can.

This is a roundabout way of saying I had a big party which is an annual thing I do with my college friends. I open up my dad's house and my three friends, their wives, their six kids, some of my neighbors and Jim (and sometimes my sister, not this year) spend a Saturday through Sunday day here having a cookout and then we go to the beach. I'm happy to be able to do this, to share what I have with people I love. And every year I agonize over shopping. Is it okay to get generic seltzer, is that too cheap? How much meat do I get if my friends always bring too much meat? Why do they buy milk when I say I already have milk?

Anyhow, the thing I changed my mind about is our local grocery. This is one of those retirement community/boating towns where the nearest supermarket is expensive and also full of people I instinctively dislike (conspicuous consumers, bad drivers, I don't know, I am crabby). When my anxiety was less under control I could not go there without getting into a fuss when I got home "THESE PEOPLE...." Now I am mostly fine. This place not only delivers (too expensive) is also has pickup (like order from the website, pick up at a pre-arranged time, less expensive). I have had A YEAR and while I was looking forward to my friends coming, I was also having an "I can't even" month for various reasons. I decided to order food (mostly a LOT of seltzer, organic bagels and some full-price cream cheese, and bacon I was sort of sure people might not eat) and pay full price and chip in extra to have it picked up. And then I had Jim pick it up and was happy and did not bitch or even sort of "The THINGS I DO for all of you" (this is what my mom would have done, if she brought us home and extra pack of gum and we did not appreciate it) about it to anyone until I wrote about it here.

It was a nice weekend, but I didn't have a lot of spoons left. Getting grocery pickup so I did not have to do a few things I didn't want to do so I could be more fully present for things I did want to do is a dramatic turnaround from my Puritan work ethic "Don't pay someone else to do a thing unless you absolutely can't do it yourself" Yankee flintiness. It was a good decision and worth a change of mind.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 3:32 PM on August 18 [34 favorites]


I feel you, Jessamyn. My Mom grew up during the depression, and she had anxiety, to the point where she was so worried about money once, she freaked out at my Dad. He opened his wallet, which contained several $100 bills, and said, "look, you don't need to worry! We have the money, it's okay."

Then I married a guy who had OCD, I mean, he was later diagnosed with it, about money. No McDonald's, ever, because it was too much money. Try that one on when you have 2 little kids who want Happy Meals. He used to examine the grocery receipts, and one time, I forgot to use a 30 cent coupon for diapers, and he got so angry, that he took the coupon and receipt and drove to the store to get his 30 cents.

I still feel guilty about not getting meat on sale (which I do, 9 times out of 10), or buying something at full price. My husband was raised in a sort of upper-middle-class household in Ohio, with a mother who was an actress and theater person, and a step-father who was a professor. Step-dad's hobbies included making wine and ice cider (he'd make cider, then put the carboys that he'd gotten from the lab on the porch, allowing it to freeze like ice wine), and other things. My MIL wanted a new stove, he spent a few years researching those before buying her an awesome gas Viking stove, with the biggest and baddest hood fan money could buy. My husband went to a private high school. He didn't grow up with religion. He is a total hedonist, and the most calm and relaxed person I have ever met. He truly does not care what others think of him, yet he has empathy for others, and loves kittens and puppies. I have never met another human being with such a lack of baggage as Mr. Mon Dieu. Except for maybe your Jim, LOL. He's a keeper, for sure!

Thanks for sharing.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:25 PM on August 18 [10 favorites]


Owning a video game console. (Currently about 8 billion hours into Breath of the Wild. I love it so much.)

Figs on pizza.

About 5 years ago I rather epically changed my mind about buying a house after putting in a low ball then miraculously having the low ball accepted. That's one for the ages.
posted by soren_lorensen at 4:44 PM on August 18 [2 favorites]


I almost didn't go to the FREE Mountain Goats concert last weekend. That would've been stupid. They played "Broom People," which I've never heard live.

I also actually turned down the apartment I now live in. I had to go back to them later and ask permission to change my mind. Now my friends come to my new place and are all "you turned this down? Are you KIDDING me?" and I'm all "but my last place had exposed brick and 12-foot ceilings and carvings on the facade and this is a white box next to a white box" and they're all "YOU HAVE A WASHER-DRYER AND A DISHWASHER AND YOU CAN SEE ALL OF MIDTOWN MANHATTAN FROM YOUR WINDOWS" and I'm like...yeah...okay...maybe you have me.

Intellectually...probably free-speech maximalism, because...look around you.
posted by praemunire at 4:58 PM on August 18 [7 favorites]


Big things?

Whew, that's tough.

I used to be of the mindset that if you see something problematic then, ya'know, calling the authorities was a fine thing to do. Actually, nope. That brings about it's own whole parade of problematic correlations and complications.

Intellectually...probably free-speech maximalism, because...look around you.

Preach. Humanity needs better keepers than we are for ourselves.
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:25 PM on August 18 [5 favorites]


The Indian grocery near me sells yogurt in 5lb round tubs, and for years I re-used those tubs as tupperware. But they were opaque, and didn't quite fit most of my refrigerator shelves. They were too tall, and not a nice even fraction of the width and depth.

Finally today I forked over $20 to the Webstaurant Store for a half-dozen square translucent 2qt Cambro-knockoffs, which it turns out fit almost perfectly 2x2 stacked three high on one of my shelves. So I'm really looking forward to getting those.

This is part of a larger progression in my life as I get used to the upper middle class, and I hope it'll reduce some of the friction my wife and I experience trying to reconcile our standards of living. Marrying up is not as easy as it's cracked up to be.
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 9:57 PM on August 18 [9 favorites]


It's been a slow creeping change, I think. I'm starting to get more comfortable in my own interests, in what I choose to spend my time and money on. Way back when in childhood, we moved every two to three years, so I was always trying to reinvent myself to appeal to a new group of friends as quickly as possible. I used to worry over not having a One Specific Thing I was good at, but all this chameleon-ing and dipping my toes into everything that makes me go "ooh" means that I've had a lot of broad experiences and interests over the years. This might also be affected by my brain gripping onto anything that shines through depression fog, but to the same effect. I'm not complaining too terribly.

More specifically and recently: I changed my mind on what fashion I gravitate towards. I bought a leather jacket, and then a denim jacket that I like better, and I've added patches and pins and I'm thinking maybe some embroidery later, and I'm really just waiting for the weather to cool off so I can wear it to the local lgbtq+ meetups. I bought cheap speakers so I can start using my turntable again. I've decided that hard cheese is a good investment for grating over salads, despite the initial price shock.

I've also changed my mind on buying an air conditioner unit for my living room. (My bedroom has the only one in the apartment.) I've gone through this cycle for the past two summers, and every time I almost give in and throw money at the problem so I can start feeling comfortable in my own home, the weather breaks and I'm fine. I like to think I've saved myself $500-700 this year.


(Because I saw the show mentioned above: please send me your Good Omens recs and stories you've written. I'm serious. This show and related fandom has filled me with love for the past 2 months and I will always welcome more. I thought the book didn't interest me just two years ago but wow do I need to eat my own hat now -- another changed mind)
posted by lesser weasel at 2:02 AM on August 19 [7 favorites]


I think we should call a now abandoned standpoint a stoodpoint.

Here's one of my stoodpoints: I used to read the webcomic Sinfest every day, and I liked it. I have changed my mind on that; I do not like it and I've stopped reading it. Of course, the author helped me make that decision, by getting all transphobic and weird and unfunny.

Here's another stoodpoint: I used to consider pants/trousers the only option that suited me. In recent years I found that I also really like kilts. I now own five kilts (a black and a white Blåkläder worker's kilt, one for for building/tinkering and one for painting; a black cotton, somewhat more dressy kilt from Pakistan; a khaki kilt that's similar and came from the UK, and finally a black version of that last one that's a spare for the one from Pakistan) and I hardly wear anything else anymore. It feels like freedom. I know that many people read it as feminine but for me it feels like a part of my androgynous/masculine swagger.
posted by Too-Ticky at 9:08 AM on August 19 [10 favorites]


I used to think that there wasn't a piece of information that I would be better off not having; that is, for all X, I would in some sense be at least as well off knowing X as I would be if I did not know X.

However, I encountered a practical counterexample in the last few years.

I used to have untreated sleep apnea. One side effect of this was feelings of worthlessness, and there was a time when I thought of suicide every day. (I'm so glad Marie Mon Dieu got a CPAP! Apnea can do terrible things.) Now, one benefit of my job was a very generous life insurance package. I did not know whether my wife would get the payout if I killed myself. And since I didn't want to want to kill myself, I deliberately chose not to check whether she would. That way, whenever I felt like my atoms should be repurposed elsewhere I could remind myself that my making it to a natural-death finish line would be worth a ton of money for my wife, but opting out early had a significant chance of depriving her of that. (This wasn't the only counter I had for suicidal thoughts, but it certainly helped.).

And now that I do have a CPAP, I have changed my mind about whether I am a waste of carbon.
posted by Jpfed at 9:55 AM on August 19 [10 favorites]


I've been married for more than 12 years now to a wonderful, punctual, orderly lady, who has put up with my messes and chaos, which has expanded with our two little boys. For my whole life, I've been an "on time is good enough, don't rush to get there early" kind of guy, leaning towards "a bit late is still OK" for most things and to date, that's pretty much worked for me. And I abhor being really early at the airport, because of my own silly, unseen fight against security theater.

Recently, my wife said "on time is late" and this was the phrase that changed my view of timeliness. Also, I realized that rushing on the front-end, allowing you to leave early, means you don't have to rush elsewhere to try and make up time.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:29 AM on August 19 [6 favorites]


Last thing I remember changing my mind about: painting. I like to draw and color quirky little artworks with colored pencils, nothing particularly fabulous but I enjoy the process and occasionally create something I really like. I generally like to burnish and use solvents to smooth out the grainy colored pencil marks, which, while I enjoy the process of doing so made me think that perhaps painting would be a more efficient way to put down color that I might also enjoy. So I started watching YouTube videos and soon became enamored of "intuitive painting," which is a style that involves making marks and adding color in layers, ideally in an uninhibited manner, until a painting emerges that you actually like. Turns out to not be as easy as it looks, heh. After a few ugly initial attempts and making a terrible mess both on and off the canvas, I decided that painting was not for me, and I gave away the fairly significant stash of paints and canvases I had acquired.

Fast forward a few months. An ad came across my Facebook feed for an acrylic portrait workshop, and the artist had a very loose, colorful style which I liked very much, so on impulse I decided to sign up to go take this in-person class. Prior to the class date I set upon the task of learning to draw faces so I wouldn't waste class time struggling with the drawing vs learning to do the painting part. Long story short, I loved the workshop even though my portrait didn't come out very well, and I've since painted two more portraits on my own that I actually like, and while I kind of got stuck on my third, I've been researching how to do the thing that is giving me problems and I think I'll be able to finish. I've had to pack everything away as I am in the middle of packing for a move, and I'm really missing being able to work on it. Looking forward to setting up my art space in the new apartment and getting back to work!
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 10:37 AM on August 19 [3 favorites]


I've changed my mind about so many things, big and small, so often, that I'm not even sure I will hit the "Post Comment" button or not. I often get brain-freeze when looking at a small menu, never mind anything more complex.

So I'll pick one out of the bag: I recently changed my mind about Bob Seger and the Eagles—I can tolerate them again.
posted by not_on_display at 12:33 PM on August 19 [1 favorite]


My dad had my bike upgraded to an e-bike as a surprise, and I was initially ungrateful - I had borrowed his e-bike once and hadn't liked it, and I thought it was a waste of money since I just don't bike a lot. I don't like expensive presents I'm unlikely to use, because they make me feel vaguely guilty. But dad argued that a) his bike was a mountainbike and mine is a citybike, so maybe that's what I didn't like about it, not the e-bike thing and b) if my bike was an e-bike, I would probably use it more.

A) turned out true, my upgraded e-bike feels just like my old bike, only more convenient. B) is still up in the air, but I'm not discounting the possibility. I gave in on Sunday and rode my new e-bike to the lake, which I hadn't done in years, because I had become too much of a couch potatoe. But with the e-bike, a venture liked that suddenly seemed feasible again. Hilly scenery is much lovelier when viewed from the saddle of an e-bike.

For what it's worth Dad often buys me stuff I say I don't want, which I end up liking - my e-reader for instance. For years he would ask me every Christmas if I wanted one and I would say no, I still have so many unread paper books (I will always have stacks of unread books), until he finally gave me one anyway, and well, it's pretty handy. Maybe it's just that my Dad is an early adopter, who loves new technologies, and I'm a bit of luddite. I tend to say no without thinking twice when I don't really _need_ some expensive thing, but some things you don't need are still nice to have, if you can get them.
posted by sohalt at 1:08 PM on August 19 [4 favorites]


I have been feeling myself slowly gravitating more towards "country things" and away from "city things." I grew up in the suburbs and have always gravitated towards urban life - we did not do things like go camping or hiking when I was a kid. But between learning how much the dog loves being out in the woods and focusing more on trying to source local food (not in an obnoxious way, I swear), I've just been spending more time out in the wilderness. So now we've got some binoculars for birding and scouting, waterproof gear, decoys and duck calls... But I refuse to give up city life. The waders are hanging up next to a nice tweed car coat I inherited from a relative.

And speaking of the dog, she has completely changed her mind about water. She used to hate getting wet and dirty, despite loving our long hikes. I took her out once a couple years ago and accidentally went off trail through a big swampy area; once I realized my mistake, I had to carry all 50 pounds of her back out because she refused to go through it again. Starting early this summer, though, she's been incredibly excited to jump in the water. We have a couple of regular routes with her, and she's mapped every bit of water and mud and will drag me in to them if I don't let her go in. I really want to find somewhere she can try to swim, it just needs to be fenced in because she's still skittish and we have to keep her leashed if she's outside the yard.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:26 PM on August 19 [2 favorites]


I used to consider pants/trousers the only option that suited me. In recent years I found that I also really like kilts.

Speaking as a guy who hasn't even worn shorts in public since school, yet being also in possession of (as I am told by the privileged few) some damn fine hairy pins I take my hat off to this. Living the dream!

It took me most of my life before I even felt comfortable walking round my own home barefoot (yuk! feet!) and I only started wearing comfy shorts about the house about a year ago. Despite that, if you asked me if I had any hangups about my body or manner of dress I'd say not really. Mystery to myself!
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 1:57 PM on August 19


"Changed my mind" is a generous way to put this, because it seems more like "finally thinking with my actual mind about, rather than blindly reacting to" it, but I have changed what I do when people say shitty things to me for no reason (kind of like Marie's relatives above).

Friend or Relative: you are a terrible person and you should feel bad
Old Me: Haha fuck you and fuck off and PS fuck yourself
FoR: Wow so angry! So brazen! Such a terrible person!
*time passes*
FoR: Um hi can we not talk about our argument
Old Me: Ohh have you finished fucking yourself

---

Friend or Relative: you are a terrible person and you should feel bad
New Me: that's hurtful. you hurt my feelings. you definitely got me. ouch.
FoR: [uncomfortable silence]
New Me: [uncomfortable silence]
FoR: Ugh, sorry I guess
New Me: That doesn't help much
FoR: Okay, really sorry
New Me: We cool :)

Which, btw, is impossibly difficult and hard. That vulnerability is so alien in my world. Even writing it out is so hard that I couldn't resist the temptation to make it snarky and weird, when actually I just started letting people nakedly see the pain they put me in. Where before I was cavalier with relationships and quick to write people off, I find myself now shepherding them through the process of apologizing properly to me and being patient with them while they try to work through the uncomfortable situation of being unable to bluster through their mistake.

I wasn't able to do this before because I saw the world as a threatening place, and people as entities who could annihilate me with their unkindnesses. Therapy is what helped me grow out of that mindset. I am understanding from within that other people have very little power over me in most cases, and I have nothing to fear from them. And if I help them through their mistakes, then I help us both preserve a valuable relationship.

Sounds basic but Brene Brown made a whole career out of this, and I've only just now understood it in practice. It's powerful not to lose a friend over one bad interaction!
posted by MiraK at 2:06 PM on August 19 [13 favorites]


A camera, and some processing, will be better than a simple ultrasound sensor, and the extra data and reliability will be worth the extra work.
Prior to that:
A camera, and some processing, will be better than a simple ultrasound sensor, but the extra data and reliability will not be worth the extra work.
Prior to that: GOTO 10
posted by pompomtom at 8:54 PM on August 19 [2 favorites]


Mira, my reactions to hurtful things from people knows no bounds even though in the moment I am very well grounded and confident in who I am. Many people don't know or respect the power they have over others. I think it's good that you can address them in the moment with the person. I tried that with a friend right after things started dying in my arms who said, "We just thought you didn't like us anymore." smirking and laughing about my skipping friend trip. I'd actually taken the time to explain to him holding my cat while he (the cat) screamed like a human (they can do that!) in my arms and then died at the vet (in exactly the way my dad did). I said, "Are you serious?" He said, "Yes." and laughed. People can be monsters. He's not a person I'll ever speak to again though. But I'm very proud that I had the courage to ask my question because it was important and absolutely none of my brain wanted to ask it.

But I did actually come here to say changed my mind about being a terrible person. Then I was gonna leave it blank as to which way cause I couldn't totally go for it and snark is safer.

I am a good person. I bring love to the world. Mostly. Work in progress. It's iterative okay, shut up. Sorry I told you to shut up just now. Also, I think I am slowly changing my mind about my (irrational?) belief that I killed my cat. A few days until six months after my dad died and 9 days to five months after my cat died. I definitely didn't kill my dad at least.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 9:06 PM on August 19 [4 favorites]


I'm always feeling, Blue:
I used to consider pants/trousers the only option that suited me. In recent years I found that I also really like kilts.
Speaking as a guy who hasn't even worn shorts in public since school, yet being also in possession of (as I am told by the privileged few) some damn fine hairy pins I take my hat off to this.


Well, thanks (although I'm sure the hat looks very fine on you) but I feel the need to say that it's a bit different for me because I'm (mostly) cis female and therefore expected to wear skirts, at least now and then. So on me, a kilt reads as a skirt to many people, and that kept me from wearing them for a long time since I do not feel comfortable with wearing clothes that are seen as feminine. Some people have even said things like 'see, you are a Real Woman after all' when seeing me in my kilt for the first time. That felt icky. These people are... not good friends. Let's keep it at that.

In other words, a kilt seen on you has a different effect than a kilt seen on me. But I bet you'd look good in one, and feel pretty good too. Why not get yourself one to wear at home?

And if we ever get to meet, let's have a leg hair competition.
By the way, you know what's more fun than walking in a kilt? Dancing in a kilt. It twirls around you. It's great.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:34 AM on August 20 [3 favorites]


Less a change of mind and more the inability to change my mind on something that much of the world is belligerently insistent that I might still change my mind on: I had both fallopian tubes removed yesterday, along with 2x 5cm cysts, one on each ovary. I feel better already for having the cysts gone in spite of the tenderness etc. from surgery, and I can pee normally again for the first time in more than a year. Thanks to everyone who commented on my recent AskMe post about the surgery, including everyone who pointed out how wildly misinformed I was about what a urinary catheter actually is (I didn't need one at all in the end, huzzah!). I feel remarkably good, all being said.

I never imagined in this lifetime that I'd find a doctor who would agree to sterilise me at the age of 30 without a lot of questions or a fight about it, so thanks, universe, for this delightful and unexpected gift. I'm really looking forward to being able to shut down conversations about whether or not I'm having kids with "sorry, can't, no tubes".

Weirdly, the only person who's given me even a small amount of "but are you sure you're sure?" pushback is my own mother, the person from whom I learnt exactly how much it sucks to be raised by a primary parent with zero maternal instinct. I'm extremely similar (I do not like kids at all; I'm one of the most child-unfriendly adults I know) and very much committed to not perpetuating the same thing on any progeny of my own.

She was satisfied, however, with my standard spiel for anyone who's concerned I might still change my mind even having elected to remove my tubes: if at any point in my life I have a total change of personality and begin to regret not having more relationships with kids in my life, I could volunteer or work with children, spend more time with friends' & family members' children, look into fostering or adoption, or even do IVF either with my own genetic material or donor material. I still feel like I have a ton of options should my feelings in this area change, but I also now have the huge relief of knowing that if things go in more of a Handmaid's Tale direction, no one can force me to reproduce.
posted by terretu at 2:12 AM on August 20 [7 favorites]


I'm still riding high off of a recent decision to close a lot of doors, in a sense. I feel better for having them closed.

I should have done this a long time ago, but I've decided I can't let what my future CV might look like make pretty much any decisions for me. I can't worry about employers googling me, what things my name is on. That doesn't mean I plan excess all of a sudden, but it is something of a weight lifted.

I guess it's a change easier made because a lot of damage has already been done, but it's beneficial in the here and now. This feels like the folly of youth, and I've been told a thousand times this is a regrettable course of action, but somehow none of that has been able to get through. Maybe everyone's right and I will be begging to bend the knee to capital before I'm thirty, but I don't see why I should make it easy for myself to wriggle out of my beliefs at some future point.
posted by Acid Communist at 5:55 AM on August 20 [2 favorites]


I have never liked feta cheese. Don't know why, but it's always been a big NOPE for me. This summer? I'm eating it like it's going out of style. Green salads. With watermelon, cucumber, black pepper. Tossed with walnuts and edamame. The creamy salty deliciousness, why did I waste so many years of my life. ALL THE FETA CHEESE.
posted by spinturtle at 8:27 AM on August 20 [2 favorites]


Nachos. I just don't like nachos that much! I always thought I did. But lately I've noticed that if there's anything AT ALL else on offer, I never want nachos. It's the only food on earth that ever makes me 1) wonder if it's worth the calories and 2) decide it's not!
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:59 AM on August 20 [2 favorites]


Last month I was at a bar with my spouse ordering nachos. . . and we realized that no commercially made nachos have ever once lived up to the idea of nachos. We've both been disappointed with nachos our entire adult lives. Every time, we say, "well, that was a bad idea." But, we keep ordering them anyway, several times a year. We resolved not to order them any longer, no matter how tempting the concept.

Half the energy and many of the molecules in my body as a teenager came from taking advantage of the 7-Eleven offer of unlimited cheese, hot sauce, and pickled Jalapeños at the $1.50 nacho bar. But, like icees, I don't need to eat them today. I don't actually like them. My body sure doesn't benefit from them. The only difference is that the neighborhood bar doesn't include icees on their late night menu. (Free retro-branding hipster bar menu idea for anyone who wants it. Though, I guess blended margarita machines aren't really that different.)

I'm now a little bit curious if the previous poster is actually my spouse. I suspect the answer is no.
posted by eotvos at 11:49 AM on August 20 [1 favorite]


That's interesting, wpofibh and eotvos, I think texture of foods is very underappreciated as a factor in bingeing and addiction to certain foods.
posted by jamjam at 12:02 PM on August 20 [3 favorites]


(I love nachos, even blah ones. All the texture, temperature, and flavour contrasts make me so happy.)

I'm working hard and I think succeeding at turning the corner on how I feel about love. That all the genuine love coming my way is good and right, as long as no one's getting hurt. And that trying to moosh existing relationships, be they romantic or not, into a mold is a) useless and b) not necessary. Bring the love!
posted by wellred at 12:14 PM on August 20 [4 favorites]


Taco Bell's Steak Nacho Bell Grande with no beans, extra steak. I have never not been glad I ordered it.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 4:08 PM on August 20 [2 favorites]


Sorry for my mistaken assumption Too-Ticky and cheers for the answer. That "See...!" response you describe would be incredibly infuriating to me (or anyone!)

Leg hair competitions absolutely need to happen.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 5:05 PM on August 20 [1 favorite]


I changed my mind about yogurt over the weekend. I still don't like in sweet contexts (fruit, granola, etc.) but in savory contexts? Give me all the tzatziki!

I changed my mind about the Apple Card today. I applied, got approved and turned it down because 24.99% fuck that. I have to say that application process was really well thought-out, though.
posted by emelenjr at 5:55 PM on August 20 [1 favorite]


A couple years ago, I changed my mind about soup.

I had thought all my life that I didn't like soup, just in general. This seemed fine - I am an incredibly picky eater and disliking entire huge genres of food, especially wet foods, seems totally normal to me. But two years ago I found myself thinking about soup a lot, so I found a recipe I thought I might like and made it and it was awesome.

So it turns out that I do like soup. I just don't like the kinds of soup that my parents make - either brothy soups like chicken noodle (something about the strong smell of unadorned chicken broth is Very Bad) or full of tomatoes/potatoes/beans (which are all firmly on the "foods I don't eat" list).

I made a big pot of pumpkin peanut butter soup this weekend and just had some for dinner and you guys, soup is pretty great.
posted by darchildre at 6:32 PM on August 20 [5 favorites]


I changed my mind about yogurt over the weekend. I still don't like in sweet contexts (fruit, granola, etc.) but in savory contexts? Give me all the tzatziki!

I envy you the universe of dishes you have to discover. I don't even think that's a particularly thorough list?
posted by XMLicious at 6:41 PM on August 20


I think the most recent thing I changed my mind about is the Captain Marvel movie. I had zero knowledge of the comic books and only knew a little about the Avengers based on what I'd seen from Black Panther and a few episodes of Agents of SHIELD and Agent Carter. I hadn't seen any other Avengers movies and thought I wouldn't really understand or appreciate the movie without having that background.

One of my best friends watched the movie in the spring and said I should watch it because he thought I would like it. Fast forward to me finally watching it a couple of weeks ago, and wow, mind blown.

At some point I hope to write up something in the FanFare thread. There were definitely Avengers things that went over my head, but yeah, this movie really got to me in a way I did not expect at all.
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 12:24 AM on August 21 [2 favorites]


I'm now a little bit curious if the previous poster is actually my spouse. I suspect the answer is no.

No, if for no other reason that my partner is APPALLED by my new nacho revelation, as he wishes to eat nachos at all times.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:16 AM on August 21 [2 favorites]


This is pretty niche, but: I recently changed my mind from believing that Go is a bad programming language that is nonetheless a pragmatic choice in several contexts to believing that it is an absolute liability. This was after months of seeing something that proceeds painlessly in other languages (pulling in dependencies) cause my build to fail 40% of the time (this is empirically derived); seeing a coworker having to go through all the hoops of getting their environment in a state where she could build a project that relies on private repositories; seeing a database get swamped by held-open connections because Go's "simplicity" means that there's no language construct that lets you abstract away the notion of teardown, so forgetting even one measly little .Close() will really ruin your day; having to choose between a comparatively sane way to manage dependencies (modules) and having the ability to do something as simple as rename a symbol in my IDE, because the project as a whole lacks the discipline to implement a feature consistently across all of its basic tooling before releasing it; and that's not even to delve into all of the minor snags in various corners of the standard library. The people who designed it, I'm realizing, are fundamentally janky thinkers, and I foresee that the treadmill of brokenness will never stop even if the particular things that are annoying now get solved. It's a relief to just finally come to terms with the fact that it's not worth it.
posted by invitapriore at 4:58 PM on August 21 [3 favorites]


A) turned out true, my upgraded e-bike feels just like my old bike, only more convenient

Sohalt, I have been watching a lot of apocalyptic/alien invasion movies lately and after a lot of thought, decided that an e-bike is the best vehicle to have in the event of a metropolitan doomsday scenario. So, congrats! You're all set.
posted by windykites at 10:36 AM on August 25


« Older Alas, MrBill   |   Site finance snapshot, August 2019 Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments