favorite buddies June 18, 2020 8:11 AM   Subscribe

Is it just me, or are there certain MeFites who show up in your "favorited by others" pretty often?

When I look at my "favorited by others" page, I see a few usernames come up pretty frequently. Of the fifty comments on my "fuzzy" page, one person shows up ten times! 20% of what I have to say is favorite-worthy! That's quite flattering. Another person only shows up three times now, but was at like seven or something when I started thinking about this. There are several others who show up multiple times as well. A lot of times, they stand out because they're the only ones to have favorited a particular comment. Most people, often including myself, sees these as forgettable throwaway comments, but not everyone! I like to think of these MeFites as my favorite buddies.

Even better, they seem like really nice people! I would totally want to be friends with them in real life. Ever since I first joined, I've been looking at the profiles of people who favorite something I write, and when I see someone favorite a few things of mine, I start paying attention to them. And I've found that my favorite buddies pretty much always have nice, thoughtful things to say. That makes me feel pretty good about myself - if these nice, thoughtful people are liking my comments, that probably means I'm doing a good job of being nice and thoughtful.

I feel bad, though, because I'm on the opposite side of the favorites debate: I rarely favorite anything, and when I do, it's kind of like a bookmark to be able to find it later. I don't think I've ever favorited anything by most of them. To the extent that I have, I only realized I'd favorited a post by Bella Donna when looking back through my favorites while researching this post. I feel like I'm not holding up my end of the buddyship.

So let me publicly acknowledge and praise Tehhund, wenestvedt, Bella Donna, TrishaU, and thetarium, specifically. I'm sure I'm leaving out some people, and I feel bad about that. But I want to make it clear that I appreciate it, and that I notice you guys, too, even if I don't reciprocate the favorites.

Does anybody else do this? And is there a statistical way of determining BFFs based on favoriting activity?
posted by kevinbelt to MetaFilter-Related at 8:11 AM (69 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

Lo these many years ago FishBike used the InfoDump to produce some stats like that.
posted by jedicus at 8:26 AM on June 18 [4 favorites]


I definitely have an awareness of people because I favorite them often or they favorite me often, though my current incarnation is neither very active or favorite-happy.

Also I am favorite-stalking my wife but I don't know if that counts.
posted by each day we work at 8:27 AM on June 18 [4 favorites]


This is a good use of the Infodumpster. For example.

I think it's a combination of things. People use favorites differently. I find some folks just favorite anything they even remotely agree with, as if they're talking to people face-to-face and nodding their heads. Also, people I link to tend to favorite my stuff more probably because a) we're friends, b) we have stuff in common and c) if I have a comment that gets favorited a lot they'll see it on the sidebar, making it more likely they'll see it.

I'm like you in that I don't give a lot of favorites. I've gotten better at it, but I'm lazy and sometimes clicking a thing is too much work.

Different people also see favorites differently. I like getting them as an acknowledgement that something I wrote might have meant someone to somebody, but I don't see them as a score or currency. Sometimes I think people feel like they owe you a favorite, or they're doing you a solid by giving you one. Again, different strokes for different folks.

The various ways people use and give favorites is one of the things I like about this place.
posted by bondcliff at 8:30 AM on June 18 [14 favorites]


I don't like the idea of favorites discussion if names and patterns start coming up.
it could make some folks uneasy.
posted by clavdivs at 8:42 AM on June 18 [11 favorites]


With a tip of a hat to bondcliff, I use my favorites to nod my head :). And to say “this was fantastic, wow” and “I see you” and “I am acknowledging the logical end of a pleasant exchange.” It’s a bit of a saturated channel the way I use it, honestly, but I’m okay with positive feedback being a saturated channel.
posted by eirias at 9:24 AM on June 18 [18 favorites]


There are three fawning groupies ;) who have favorited over 200 of my silly jokes, and another 15 who have favorited over 100. They are often the same people whose comments I tend to favorite as well, so I assume we all must share a certain sense of humor. For myself at least, that feels very gratifying.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:41 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]


It's not just that people use favorites in different ways it is also that individuals use favorites in different ways...
I use favs:
* to add my support to an AskMeFi answer--especially when it is so well written and well thought out that I want the asker to just listen to this answer because 1M people have favorited..."DMTFA!" "Go to ER!" or "Don't eat that!"
* to find the comment later because it has info I need-- like where to shop for the best crouton pet toys...
* or just as a way to applaud, high five, or fist-bump someone for their clever comment.
posted by calgirl at 9:56 AM on June 18 [4 favorites]


The person who's favourited my comments the most has favourited over 200,000 comments in all. Second place goes to someone with over 100,000.

I've favourited 114 comments in the past 8 years. Sorry - it's not that I don't want to be your buddy. I'd love to.
posted by pipeski at 10:11 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]


Sometimes I'll favorite comments because I think they've put a point I don't agree with well (but which I consider within the realm of acceptable discourse, of course).
posted by praemunire at 10:31 AM on June 18 [5 favorites]


There's one person who shows up as favouriting my comments a lot. I like to imagine they have a secret crush on me. Really, they probably just favourite a lot of stuff but that's way less fun to think about.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:38 AM on June 18 [11 favorites]


There are definitely hyper-favouriters out there. My favourites are like precious flowers, bestowed only on the truly worthy (all 16,000 of them, cough).
posted by GuyZero at 10:51 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]


I have a bit of mutual admiration society sort of vibe with a few folks, but that's partly because I have great, big, shiny and easily-triggered buttons (for better and for worse). I wish I had a consistent manner in which I give out favorites, but I don't. Except in Ask, where it's like 50% "Yes, this is a good answer" 25% "This would have been my answer but you got here first and said it better anyway." and 25% "I need this information, hopefully I can find it again later" (though I usually favorite the post as well for this.)

While I'm here, I notice on my 2nd page of favorites, about halfway down, it stops listing usernames and only says how many times it was favorite-ed. Is this new behavior?
posted by ApathyGirl at 10:55 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]


I try to favorite generously, if a comment made me think, made a point I agree with, made a point well that I didn't agree with, made me laugh, surfaced information that's useful... I like to think that it gives at least the tiniest boost of the spirits to people who get favorites to know somebody read their thoughts and showed support.
posted by jzb at 10:57 AM on June 18 [6 favorites]


There's one person who shows up as favouriting my comments a lot. I like to imagine they have a secret crush on me.
Iiiiii.... definitely have secret (and not-so-secret) crushes on folks here. How could you not, with so many funny, interesting people about?

posted by ApathyGirl at 11:00 AM on June 18 [6 favorites]


I'm one of those hyper-favoriters (Greg_Ace, you're up to 4 fawning 200+ groupies if you add the +s from this account to Fig's, which is my previous username). I might have a crush on everyone I drop favorites on. I'm not telling though, because then it wouldn't be a secret, and where's the fun in that?

In all seriousness, I really do appreciate all of you so much and love this community, and there's only so many opportunities to leave schmoopy comments so [+] is how I show appreciation of participation.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 11:14 AM on June 18 [25 favorites]


Is it possible to see who *I* have favorited most?
posted by bleep at 3:50 PM on June 18 [2 favorites]


Update: It is! Go here and fill in your username under "Most comments favorited by ___"
posted by bleep at 3:54 PM on June 18 [11 favorites]


One of my favorite things about favorites is noticing just how great all of you are with user names.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 4:35 PM on June 18 [5 favorites]


I can understand that I have said many different things that many different people have liked or agreed with or some such thing. But to think that any individual has, 65 different times, felt some sort of positive way about my rambling, well. [insert blushing emoji]

I’ve only favorited any one individual 11 times, which seems both stingy overall and particularly unreasonable for the specific person in top place, who I’m sure I’ve read more than 11 clever or insightful or funny comments by. Perhaps I will be more liberal with my favorites, as to be honest they really are just little thumbs up and I will never in my life actually go into my favorites to find a specific comment. That’s what Metatalk questions are for.
posted by brook horse at 5:31 PM on June 18 [2 favorites]


Hi Sparky Buttons! I've seen your name in my favorites a lot lately. It all becomes clear why my good fave buddy Fig is seen no more. I always have a happee when I see your name.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 5:50 PM on June 18 [8 favorites]


I've been around a year or 12 and always vaguely knew that "info dump" was a thing, but I'd never seen (so never followed) a link until now. Wow. Wild.

Also, here go the Philly fireworks. Ugh, going to wrap my dogs in a blanket.
posted by Pax at 6:05 PM on June 18 [1 favorite]


Is it possible to see who *I* have favorited most?
Update: It is! Go here and fill in your username under "Most comments favorited by ___"


Whoa, turns out I favorite a lot less than I thought I was doing! My apologies to all I've shorted, I'll try to do better.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:50 PM on June 18 [1 favorite]


So I looked at the Infodumpster, and it turns out that the person whose comments I’ve favorited the most is... the same person who has favorited mine the most. Granted, he has been 11x more active in the bromance, but that’s an even neater coincidence than I would have thought while writing this post.
posted by kevinbelt at 7:38 PM on June 18 [5 favorites]


Update: It is! Go here and fill in your username under "Most comments favorited by ___"

That is interesting, including seeing all the names of people who don't seem to be active anymore.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:29 PM on June 18 [2 favorites]


I notice when certain familiar names favorite me but I don't keep track of anything. Nor do I want to even try, not even with Infodump. There are a lot of active users these days so I notice names from a while ago better than I do more recent ones. Also, I lurked here for ages before joining so there is also that.

I dunno, favorites are strange for me. I use them as a barometer for some things, but mostly don't care. I post things I enjoy or want to share, and I generally don't post outrage stuff. So it either clicks or it doesn't. And enough people don't favorite or aren't even members of MetaFilter that might get a tiny catch of interest, it's fun to share.

I find it more interesting when I toss off a comment in passing and it somehow gets like 74 favorites. I will sometimes do this before work, and then getting home and having internet access again, I'll look and be all WHAAA?
posted by hippybear at 8:31 PM on June 18 [2 favorites]


Favorites go with activity levels etc too. I probably answer too many questions, but don’t say much on the blue. Nor here on the grey. But I do like favorite stalking.

I notice people who know their stuff and say it well, and favorites help keep track of that. Just today I favorited an answer by Spathe Cadet for the nth time; they are surely one of the best people here for houseplant stuff, and hence I also appreciate their favorites all the more.
posted by SaltySalticid at 8:36 PM on June 18 [2 favorites]


I favorite regularly (when I'm here), mostly when I laugh out loud or profoundly agree or want to be able to refer back to the comment. I don't actually notice who favorites me usually.
posted by bearwife at 9:36 PM on June 18 [3 favorites]


Is this post a precursor to another Great Enspousening?
posted by sara is disenchanted at 9:50 PM on June 18 [6 favorites]


I have an unknown user name, according to the infodumpster. Oh well.
posted by Oyéah at 10:32 PM on June 18 [3 favorites]


Anyway, I have been favorited, therefore I am.
posted by Oyéah at 10:34 PM on June 18 [10 favorites]


I don't look at favorites because I find it a bit creepy to go around checking up on such things. Same with looking at profiles or people's past posts/comments. I always get a bit squicked when someone answers an Ask by starting with "I checked your previous posts, is this the same problem?" Ewwww. I guess It's for some people and not for some others. Strangely enough, I think it's fine for people that do, it's just not a thing for me. I'd rather just remember people/things over time without going going data-mining into the past.
posted by zengargoyle at 1:30 AM on June 19 [1 favorite]


Great minds do think alike, after all! ;)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 2:43 AM on June 19 [1 favorite]


I have an unknown user name, according to the infodumpster. Oh well.

I saw that! Your name is there, but it looks like this: Oyéah. Old problem with the accent mark, maybe?
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:04 AM on June 19 [3 favorites]


Awwww, hi kevinbelt! Always a pleasure to favo(u)rite* you!

I mostly lurk, and don't comment much, but I read the green and the blue (and lately the grey) pretty much daily. When I first joined, I had a scarcity mindset to do with favo(u)rites, and rarely fave'd anything. The whole prospect made me anxious, not that I'd run out of faves, per se, but that I'd favorite wrong maybe, or wasn't establishing my own fixed metric for what "truly" "deserved" a fave. Yeah, I'm over that now with 107,000+ under my belt. Needless to say, I don't use favo(u)rites to bookmark stuff.

What changed was, I think, feeling more part of the community and feeling more empowered in going with my gut in life in general, spilling over into my MeFi habits. More joy is more joy. More favourites is more joy.

I have a very flexible, diffuse rationale underpinning my favo(u)riting these days. I fave things I think are funny, or wise, or well said, or brave (in revealing a poster's vulnerability and/or in tackling a difficult subject that needs to be addressed), or helpful, or thrilling, or weird, or happy, or cool, or educational, etc. Sometimes, a fave is like a thumbs up, sometimes a nod of the head or tip of my metaphorical hat, sometimes a broad smile, sometimes a supportive hand on the shoulder, sometimes a commiserating tequila shot.

Favo(u)riting is my primary way of interacting on the site, though I always intend to try to carve out more time to comment. I know for some favo(u)rites can be super stressful, particularly in terms of visible metrics of supposed popularity -- and I very much don't want to contribute to that stress. Like anyone, my eye gets drawn to heavily favo(u)rited comments, but I try to double-check I'm fav'ing because I genuinely want to, instead of blithely going with what appears to be a favoriting consensus. Sometimes this means I don't fave, sometimes I still do.

All that said, if I've favo(u)rited a comment or post of yours, it's coming from an affirmative place from me, because something in me responded to your words and went: yes, favo(u)rite, I see you, hey, thanks for posting this.

* Can you tell I'm British?
posted by thetarium at 8:44 AM on June 19 [8 favorites]


My approach towards favorites is to use them to say “I have seen this“ most of the time. I may agree or disagree, but I want the commentor to say “oh, somebody noticed that.“ I favorite posts either because I really really enjoyed them, or because I found them interesting but don’t have anything to say. I guess that second case really is the “I noticed this” approach, too.

Speaking of the infodumpster, it doesn’t seem to have been updated since March. Is everything OK?
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:35 AM on June 19 [5 favorites]


This account is too new to have any interesting info come out of the infodumpster, but I do know for a fact that a hell of a lot of the time that I read a comment that has me vigorously nodding my head and reaching for the fave button, that comment will turn out to have been written by Frowner.
posted by Balthamos at 9:45 AM on June 19 [4 favorites]


After looking up whose comments I'd favorited the most, I realized that favorites serve different purposes for me on different parts of the site, which is kinda fun. For the blue, I seem to use them to signify agreement/support on political topics; for the green, for people who I think give consistently wise advice; and for the gray, to wave at friendly folks. Hi!
posted by ferret branca at 10:12 AM on June 19 [6 favorites]


I think i know who has a crush on meeeee

(it's mutual btw)
posted by fluttering hellfire at 11:37 AM on June 19 [3 favorites]


I haven't participated in the site much lately, but in the past I have definitely had a favorite buddy. During the megathread days it seemed like we were on the exact same wavelength.
posted by Jpfed at 12:05 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]


Have we given Tehund their award yet?
posted by Mrs Potato at 12:41 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]


Update: It is! Go here and fill in your username under "Most comments favorited by ___"

Wow, tehloki is WAY out in front, more than double nickyskye at #2.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:12 PM on June 19


OMG it's a reciprocal crush! Is tehloki alive? And single?
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:13 PM on June 19


Today I learn my second biggest Metafilter fan is actually just my real life best friend. This is both a bit of a disappointment and a relief.
posted by thivaia at 2:38 PM on June 19 [7 favorites]


To kevinbelt's initial question, I think many who actually favorite things are favoriting things/ideas they like. Most people hang out with people they like/agree with, and so favorites are no different.

It's a problem with the name. Acknowledge or some such might be better. I know I have been guilty. How can you favorite someone on a check-in thread who has been laid off and days later taken to the hospital for a life-threatening illness and losing their health insurance because they were laid off so will probably lose their home due to hospital bill and no way to pay? That deserves tons of hugs, but it's not a favorite of mine.

Anyway, after years of lurking I finally joined 07/2016. My stats in infodumpster (thanks all for sharing! I'll probably lose a day in that soon) are remarkably skewed because of megathreads.

My favoriting is remarkably skewed anyway. I almost never favorite posts because I flat out forget. I'll go days with out favoriting comments for the same reason. I have the "luxury" of spending time every now and again reading MeFi at work while I wait to be allowed to work again. So, I favorite all sorts of comments that include links to things I want to read where I don't want to be interrupted. Funny comments, of course.

I just have a ton that were place markers in the megathreads. Too darn hard to pick up where I left off without as much.

I am surprised by at least one name where we are close to the same amount of favorites for each other. It must fall under, "Our worldviews are wildly different, but I respect yours."
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 6:42 PM on June 19 [3 favorites]


Aside: It's really hard to write a comment about favorites and have MeFi highlight it as a spelling error. C'mon mods! Can we get a better dictionary?
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 6:44 PM on June 19


The next time you get it as a spelling error, try right clicking on it or click-holding it if you're on a device, and see if "learn spelling" is available. It might be a local dictionary, not MetaFilter.
posted by hippybear at 7:09 PM on June 19 [1 favorite]


Thank you MonkeyToes!
posted by Oyéah at 7:14 PM on June 19


Have you tried "favourites"? It's a perfectly cromulent spelling.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:15 PM on June 19 [5 favorites]


I've had some truly lovely written correspondence with my #1 favoriter- he mailed me a lovely note during a crisis, (he'd been part of the card club) and I really look forward to his letters.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 11:34 PM on June 19 [4 favorites]


After checking Infodumpster, I am rather surprised to discover that the top favouriter of my comments as mrs potato and as OLDNAMEHANDLE14years is the same person.

Wow!
posted by Mrs Potato at 3:40 AM on June 20 [3 favorites]


Checking my favoried and favorited by counts in infodumpster, my top 20 on each list both contain 2 friends (all from before joining), plus a person I've met at least once outside of IRL events, so the majority of my favoriting is going to people that (as far as I know) I have no contact with except on the site. For what it's worth. I suppose a real test would be prorating the counts against years active, but I have a lot to do, so I think that won't happen.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:48 AM on June 20


There's only a really noticeable set when I'm being snarky. Names, of course, protected.
posted by ominous_paws at 8:48 AM on June 20


I just like everything sciatrix writes. Also ChuraChura with the monkeys.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 10:33 AM on June 20 [2 favorites]


Sounds like an answer from an expanded Clue version: ChuraChura, in the forest, with the monkeys!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:13 AM on June 20 [2 favorites]


Sounds like an answer from an expanded Clue version: ChuraChura, in the forest, with the monkeys!

I was thinking more along the lines of the aliens from “Darmok.”
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:14 PM on June 20 [1 favorite]


I know of that series only via its oft-repeated bits, so that didn't occur to me. But yeah, that works as well or better.

Greg_Ace, in the thread, without a Clue
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:01 PM on June 20 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Greg_Ace, in the thread, without a Clue
sorry
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 2:30 PM on June 20 [4 favorites]


Quite frequently accurate, though.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:39 PM on June 20 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I have experienced this. There's a handful of names that I feel like I see more often than others. But that could also be confirmation bias I guess. Either way, thank you kind favorite givers.
posted by lazaruslong at 4:34 PM on June 20 [1 favorite]


Just wondering, the mods can't see how often I click on my profile and check to see who has recently favorited a comment of mine, can they? I don't do that, I'm just wondering if they could tell how often I did it if I did, or if I can erase any record of that, if there were one, which there isn't.
posted by skewed at 5:01 PM on June 20 [2 favorites]


If you’re worried about that you could change it up by going to Recent Activity and clicking on Recent Favorites.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 6:05 PM on June 20


Junior High School never really ends: There are some people who I never favorite even though I like what they write because I'm worried they'll figure out I have a big crush.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 7:36 PM on June 20 [3 favorites]


I have a big ol' crush on all of you. I just assume everyone also has a big crush on me, and the ones who don't favorite me are just adorably shy.
posted by mochapickle at 7:45 PM on June 20 [8 favorites]


I favourite mostly FPPs I find interesting and worthwhile, as a kind of thank you to the poster first of all and signal to others I guess that I think they're good, and also as a bookmark if I want to look them up later. I used to favourite a ton of comments way back but now only if I find them truly extraordinary. Can I admit the reason is because I started worrying about a favourites imbalance, particularly when I'm not that active? Maybe I should start favouriting comments more as well, and a big collective sorry for all the fantastic comments I haven't bothered to mark.
posted by blue shadows at 1:50 AM on June 21 [3 favorites]


I've used the favorites button 15,573 times, and my most-favorited comments by a single person amount to 94. Do I just have a weird breadth of opinions that no other person has all in the same basket? Am I a wishy washy person? Who knows.
posted by FirstMateKate at 9:48 AM on June 25 [1 favorite]


I just finished writing a janky-ass perl script that, given a user name, eventually spits out who that user has gotten the most faves from and who they've favorited the most. That was a fun exercise!
[pulaski]$ ./fave.pl hanov3r
searching user database for username hanov3r
hanov3r is user number 62109
Most favorited user: poffin boffin, favorited 68 times
Most favorites from user: Proofs and Refutations, received 61 favorites
Thanks for recently kicking the infodump, cortex.
posted by hanov3r at 3:03 PM on June 25


Oh man, so the Infodump thing is a little minor journey, and frimble gets credit for almost all of the actual kicking. There was some interruption to it updating tied to steps along the way on our transition between AWS accounts earlier this year, and when it came to trying to get everything behaving again frimble went ahead and rewrote the Infodump scripts in I think python, to run cleaner and faster and closer to the actual SQL queries.

For the last decade? plus? prior to that it's been running on perl code I wrote and wouldn't want to have to be the one to maintain. So that puts us in somewhat better position to maintain and potentially expand Infodump stuff in the future, which feels good.

The one big question with that rewrite is whether anything depending on very finicky details of white space etc would break because of subtleties in the output of the old perl vs. the new python. Seems like we haven't run into anything like that so far—I thiiiiink that in particular the Infodumpster hasn't balked, but I still need to loop back and check in with C. E. Lighthouse about it—but in any case if you find yourself revisiting old parser projects or whatnot and see something that seems wrong, please do let me know.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:28 PM on June 25 [1 favorite]


I updated infodumpster.org with the new data files. Also fixed the bug with accented usernames like 'Oyéah'.

Btw, in the new data files, the first line ends with \n but all the others end with \r\n. The mysql importer hates that.
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 7:43 PM on June 25 [3 favorites]


Go here and fill in your username under "Most comments favorited by ___"

The code for this seems a little suspicious:

10 INPUT username$
20 PRINT "the quidnunc kid"

posted by some little punk in a rocket at 9:33 PM on June 25 [2 favorites]


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