Metatalktail Hour: Wish List! October 23, 2020 10:05 PM   Subscribe

Happy weekend, MetaFilter! This week, I have a SUPER-SELFISH metatalktail hour, which is that I want to know what's on your wishlist, because my mother demands we provide her with extensive ones for the holidays and mine is crappy. What is on your realistic wishlist? What books? Movies? Random small appliances? What is on your wild imaginary wishlist, specific private islands? Modernist mansions? TELL ME. What would be the perfect gift for YOU?

As always, a conversation starter, not limiter! Tell us everything that's up with you! And hit the contact form if you have ideas for future metatalktails!
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) to MetaFilter-Related at 10:05 PM (99 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

In order from most likely to achieve to fat chance:
* a table top ironing board and fabric steamer for mask making and sanitizing
* Instacart and Walmart+ memberships. I have Shipt and like it, but Instacart has so many more stores and though I'm so conflicted, many things we eat are so much cheaper at Walmart, and I can't justify paying for three grocery delivery services!
* convection oven/'air fryer'/dehydrator/toaster oven combo
* a comfortable mattress, and the understanding of what I need in a mattress
* 17" 4K laptop with 32+ megs of RAM so my fragmented brain can have scores (hundreds?) of tabs in several windows open at any given time
posted by QuakerMel at 10:33 PM on October 23, 2020 [2 favorites]

I will probably post about 20 answers to this thread over the course of the week, but number 1 on my imaginary wish list:

I want a holodeck, mostly so I can LEARN EVERYTHING FROM EVERYONE. Immediate on call friendly helpful pedagogically expert language teachers all the time any time. Movie appreciation with Roger Ebert. I want to learn piano from Monk. Plus I'd like to be able to hang out at the beach, by myself, and switch from mild sunny (but with shade trees) (or, you know, holodeck sun that doesn't give you skin cancer, that would work too) to cool and somewhat windy and grey and cloudy and occasional rain on the waves and back to mild sunny and back to blustery.

But mostly I want to Learn All the Things, so: a holodeck for me, please.
posted by kristi at 10:52 PM on October 23, 2020 [11 favorites]

-- A copy of Creaks, the new game by Amanita design.

-- A pair of headphones that I can listen to while lying on my side.
posted by Zumbador at 11:23 PM on October 23, 2020 [2 favorites]

On my imaginary, wildest dreams list would be the ability to browse the shelves of my local library. I'm desperate for books to read, and the current "pick up and drop off" system, while better than nothing, means you have to know what book you want and pick it from the online catalogue. No ability to find books you didn't know about, or where you can't remember the author or title but can remember where it was on the shelves...
posted by Zumbador at 11:31 PM on October 23, 2020 [13 favorites]

- WeatherTech mats for my truck. (Aslo same brand phone cup holder)
- Set of free weights
- Music. Specifically a subscription for 2021 to Dave's Picks
- Pants with a phone pocket like these from Carhartt. The right leg phone packet has changed my life. So easy to carry phone now without sitting on it, without it getting in the way of walking. Try it!
- A minor speaking role in a movie
- Kelly's Car Wash has been on my list for 50 years and not once has anyone gotten it for me. Hint hint. Link, but anything on this Pininterest page I would be very happy with.
- Depending on who is asking for my list, 9mm ammo.
- Supply of NexGen ceramic car "wax"
posted by AugustWest at 12:09 AM on October 24, 2020 [2 favorites]

This is a great theme, as I come from a big list-making family. I suspect for me and my mother the core reason behind that is neurodivergence, as I don't think either of us are the kind of people who can easily engage with the kind of non-list gifting culture that expects you to know the person you're buying for intimately and accurately predict a surprise that will delight them. Everyone making a list means zero ambiguity and we all get stuff that we want, which I'm sure for some people takes all the fun out of it, but not for me! I also have a pretty strong aversion to receiving things I don't actually like or want, as I hate my house filling up with crap that is "not me" but also feel guilty about throwing out or regifting stuff I've been given that falls into this category. Sharing a list derisks this considerably.

Ironically, though, my mother and I are also (unsurprisingly) both people with pretty rigid interests/likes and dislikes, to the point where I strongly suspect we could go off-list one year and still end up getting each other stuff we both like. This feels like a version of the no/yes Drake meme, with "knowing each other well enough that we can buy off-list gifts that are sure to delight" at the top and "having had enough opportunities for pattern-matching in previous gifting cycles that we could probably successfully gift shop for one another without a list at this point" on the bottom.

On my actual Christmas list this year (which exists already, not because I'm someone who's into Christmas by the middle of the year, but because I'm now at the stage of life where I already have most of the stuff I could possibly want and it's useful for everyone if I can periodically remember some stuff I don't yet have but do want) is a kitchen mandoline and (very importantly, since I am clumsy as hell and want to keep as many of my fingers as I can) a set of cut-proof gloves for using it. Also a microplane. Being a grownup with a house full of stuff already, I usually ask for vinyl copies of records I like but don't yet own and fancier cheese/chocolate than I would usually buy myself in case anyone wants to spend more money on me than the value of the other items I've asked for.

On my list of things I want to buy myself at some point (but not yet and who knows when, as I tend to be pretty cheap with myself and not treat myself very often), a Switch is right up top since I keep getting pangs when I hear other people talking about pokémon they've caught in Sword & Shield or their island in Animal Crossing. I've also started actually getting cold in the winter, after running hot for the first 27 or so years of my life, so electric blankets are starting to look very desirable. I could also do with upgrading to a pair of 10kg dumbbells (the 8kg pair we've got are starting to feel too light) but damn, it turns out that big chunks of metal are expensive, and so is the shipping.

I also need a new phone at some point, as mine is old/slow enough that it doesn't really take new apps any more, and it'll be six years old next year. I want to switch to a Fairphone 3 and change to a sim-only deal on a network that gets better reception where I live, but I've been succumbing to inertia regarding this purchase for at least two years now, maybe three. It's hard to justify spending a chunk of money on something that I know on some level is kind of harmful to me, particularly when my old phone just keeps chugging along, but it's going to die some day and on that day I will regret not having dealt with the problem while I still had a working phone.
posted by terretu at 1:29 AM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

I was going to share my current wish list (October birthday and Christmas) but I realised it is pretty boring (my husband asked me and I said "well, we need a new frying pan...")

So instead I'll share things that have been on my wishlist ever.

A back yard firepit. Now I have a small child I'm not sure.

a pogo stick (all the cool kids had one)

a charcoal barbecue (the thought "I should buy a weber" was my 'whoah' moment about how advertising works)

audible subscription

a skate board


fruit trees

rose bushes
posted by freethefeet at 1:29 AM on October 24, 2020 [4 favorites]

The warmest wool socks I can get, but not too thick 'cos my boots don't got much room for winter padding.
posted by youarenothere at 2:17 AM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

In no particular order:

- A trip to the Studio Ghibli park, when it's finished and fully open.
- A trip to Australia for the Boxing Day Test match, to see England win the Ashes.
- A good wander around the Lofoten Islands, which I've somehow still not been to despite being in Norway/Scandinavia numerous times the last few decades.

Also high-quality coffee, pastries and stationary, plus pottering around on ferries between archipelago islands, but that'll require a return to Sweden at some point in the next [uncertain] months.

More realistic in the nearer future, depending on whatever lockdown scenarios occur and the weather, some walking around Northumberland - especially the coastline and moors and castles - as I've only passed through this attractively empty-of-people county on the train and it's always looked like good walking territory. My ex-neighbour is from there and his opinion was "It's a terrible place as you can go whole days without seeing, or speaking to, another person" ... but that sounds like heaven (and a safe heaven in these times) to me.
posted by Wordshore at 2:53 AM on October 24, 2020 [9 favorites]

I want a 6 foot tall full color velociraptor for my yard. They cost $2000. I bought a house in June and I was going to set up a gofundme in hopes people would give a few bucks to the velociraptor fund. But it felt callous to ask for money for something so stupid when everyone was losing jobs and marching in the streets for justice. I still very much want a velociraptor for my yard. I think I will wait until the spring now to get one. I don't know how take care of a house in a winter yet, much less the needs of an outdoor dinosaur sculpture.

So until then I will wait patiently and plan out the many seasonal items I will dress her in to entertain the neighbors, once she joins my family.
posted by phunniemee at 5:18 AM on October 24, 2020 [20 favorites]

"No ability to find books you didn't know about, or where you can't remember the author or title but can remember where it was on the shelves..."

It isn't as good as browsing in person, but my library has been doing a thing where you fill out a form saying what you're in the mood to read and a couple of books you like, and within 48 hours the librarians email you back with 10 suggestions, and you can just click the links to get them for curbside pickup, or e-book borrowing.
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 7:16 AM on October 24, 2020 [11 favorites]

I realized recently that my desktop PC was manufactured in 2011, so I've been building new PCs on various websites. I have spousal buy-in on gifting myself a new PC for my birthday next month.
posted by COD at 7:33 AM on October 24, 2020 [3 favorites]

I'd love a trip to South Korea to see how things have changed in the roughly 10 years it has been since I was there.

A new stove with a convection oven. But we don't need a new stove.

Someone mentioned a Switch above. I'd like one of those too.

A weeks paid vacation (ha ha ha ha ha... like that would ever happen)

All the coloring books on my wish list. Not that I need anymore......

I'd actually like some cake decorating classes. Not fondant, but buttercream. Fondant tastes horrible.
posted by kathrynm at 7:59 AM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

  • A new Leatherman multitool. My current one is 21 years old and the scissors are getting a little wonky. I inquired about the supposed 25 year warranty, but I'm in Chile and the local representatives use the Chilean mode of customer service, which means they answer your emails once every 3 months, and basically say 'we're looking into it'.
  • More guitar/bass pedals. They who die smothered under an avalanche of colorful metal boxes you can plug your instruments into win. Right now I'm looking into an Iron Ether Nimbus Reverb, a 'boutique', small run bass pedal with reverb times of over 1 minute and filters on just the 'verb.
  • Dawn of X stickers. And t-shirts.
posted by signal at 8:00 AM on October 24, 2020 [4 favorites]

Oh, also:
  • Either a pedalSHIELD DUE or a Pedal PI, both DIY programmable guitar pedals, which would be the exact center of a Venn diagram of my interests (especially if I put a Dawn of X sticker on it), but seem to be completely sold out. If anybody knows where I could get one, informing me would a great early X-Mas present.
posted by signal at 8:04 AM on October 24, 2020 [3 favorites]

I don't really want anything? I mean a new garmin would be cool but my old one works fine. I wouldn't mind a bigger apartment, but I could afford it and am not moving for a variety of logistical reasons which probably means I don't really want it.

Sometimes I think I would like a fancy car but then I remember that I don't wash my current car and since it is reasonably priced I don't worry about it getting dinged up or anything so I really don't want a fancy car.

I honestly would like my kids to be about 4 years older so that I could like not be responsible for their every need every single second of every single day, but I would probably regret that later too.

I guess I should count myself fortunate then, but if that's the case then why am I so miserable? And that got dark fast.
posted by Literaryhero at 8:27 AM on October 24, 2020 [10 favorites]

My list. I'm going all out here. Because why not.

• A lithium battery generator with solar panels like this. For camping, for power during the apocalypse (or just regular power outages), for piece of mind. Plus, I just like techy stuff and if it's practical, even better.

• Someone to come and clean my house without me having to stress about the cats, having to declutter beforehand, or actually talk to people to arrange it. My current state of mind and the cost mean that apparently I am choosing to live in filth instead of making this happen.

• Someone to clean, detail and de-dent my car without any effort on my part. Anyone else noticing a trend here?

• A puppy (or dog). Check my ask-me history for the backstory. Permanently single in these pandemic times, plus losing my dear dear cat over the summer, has amplified this desire x1000. I just want a puppy dangit!! But I am also very specific about said puppy (because of HOA rules and cats) so there's a year long waiting list anyway.

• More time off work without it hurting my career.

• Combining all of the above (clean things, time off, generator, puppy) into an awesome roadtrip that, as a Canadian, probably includes all the amazing beaches and national parks in the US. But, uh... well... sigh.
posted by cgg at 8:45 AM on October 24, 2020 [2 favorites]

you have to know what book you want and pick it from the online catalogue

What I've been doing is doing a generic search for something like "book" and then sorting the results by what's been most recently added (in, say, the adult fiction section), to see what they have that is new. Some libraries do a good job of highlighting this stuff already, mine does not.

I was talking to not_on_display about this recently--I had a COVID birthday--how I've sort of suppressed the idea of wishes lately because all I want is ineffable things I can't have right now (for us to be together, for my dental journey to be over, for the right thing to happen in the election, for someone else to get my snow tires put on) and so it's been hard for me to even think about other things I might want. I've been okay at just... waiting.

However I do have a wishlist and it is surprisingly short and almost entirely books with a few games tossed in (for later) and one pair of what are called "nerd sheets" which have a spreadsheet pattern on them. If I was thinking of other things I think they'd veer wildly between impractical and very prosaic

- a COVID-safe driver to take me down to Massachusetts and go get groceries for me so I could spend a week down there doing projects without doing eight hours of driving
- more Darn Tough socks for winter, I have some, I'd just like more so I can do less laundry, also a few more pairs of these.
- an extra freezer (and a place to put it which I do not have in my small apartment) so I can stockpile winter food when I am in a cooking mood
- a campervan for tootling around but being able to stay in my own "house"
- some of those nice ink pens that I like. I have one, I'd like more.
- flannel sheets with a more pleasing pattern/color than the ones I have
- wildlife cam to see all the critters that are scooting through my backyard lately (also birds)
- a good plan for keeping the squirrels off of my birdfeeder (I've been doing well but I bet there is a better solution than the janky ones I have)
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 9:07 AM on October 24, 2020 [5 favorites]

(It’s funny you ask this as Sunday is my birthday.)

Ironically what tops my wishlist is for Kobo to make its wishlists public and giftable, because since switching over from Kindle, no one can gift me books anymore which is sadmaking. (And they don’t sell eGift cards for U.S. customers, and getting physical ones is next to impossible.)

My real-world wishlist (I still have one on Amazon because I’m still struggling to disentangle myself from them entirely) is full of things like pants (of the regular and under varieties), cat litter mats, a Bluetooth audio dongle for my TV, new arch supports, new travel mug and water bottle, oh I still need to add things like sheets that fit my bed properly now that I’ve added a memory foam topper. Oh, less realistically, a new bed. That easy-build Thuma one looks nice.

My MeFi wishlist was for iCloud to unblock emails from MeFi and I see by the latest update that this wish has been fulfilled.

My pie-in-the-sky wishlist is to have a magic wand that creates an apartment accommodating each and every one of the obstacles my autistic brain encounters that could be accommodated by design changes or the addition of tools or gadgets at-will.

I guess that last one is just a wish to be rich.
posted by bixfrankonis at 9:16 AM on October 24, 2020 [2 favorites]

Oh yes please. A small sanctuary for rescued donkeys, to include all logistical knowledge and etc.
And the land and cash and other stuff, for it.
posted by Glinn at 9:26 AM on October 24, 2020 [5 favorites]

1. A strong, pain-free left shoulder with full range of motion.

That's it actually. Had surgery on Monday so my life currently revolves around the care and feeding of the shoulder and the big question is how much ROM I will recover. I have pretty much everything else I need. I mean, usually I could spout off a long list of household items that I've been ardently desiring but this shoulder thing has seriously reprioritized my wishes.
posted by HotToddy at 10:04 AM on October 24, 2020 [5 favorites]

When family asked me for a Christmas wish list, it seemed silly to ask for little everyday things that I could just as well buy for myself, and often did. On top of that, where's the fun in buying something for someone that they already know they're going to get - or in receiving it? Isn't the point of Christmas to care enough about someone that you're willing spend time looking for just the right thing, within one's budget, that you know that person will enjoy but wouldn't have thought of for themselves?

So I started writing lists of outlandishly expensive and/or impossible things like an end to world hunger, or a fancy cabin in the woods, or a Ferrari. Or "surprise me!" Eventually they quit asking and just gave me generic stuff like shirts and books and blank cassette tapes, which is all they really wanted to do in the first place.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:13 AM on October 24, 2020 [2 favorites]

There really isn't much in the way of actual things I want; I really really really want to travel right now but I'm not going to travel during COVID-19 circumstances- I just wish it was safe right now.

In the realm of magical thinking wishlist items, I have two!
1) A non-surgical magic fix for problematic joints! (Stupid middle age)
2) A quiet room in my current house! I love my family but right now I'm typing in the same room with a vigorous game of Mario Kart and a neighbor's construction work in the background. I need a room in a pocket dimension with a comfy chair, a side table for a nice cup of tea, and a stack of books - or possibly a knitting project and nice music instead of absolute quiet. And perhaps some cats - 3/5 of my family are allergic so we have none right now.
posted by sencha at 10:20 AM on October 24, 2020 [3 favorites]

Sorry, that came off as more "bah humbug" than I'd intended! I have in fact gotten some lovely gifts over the years from a few people who liked me enough to make an effort, and I hope I've done the same in return. For instance, for my birthday this year an unexpected bottle of very nice scotch was anonymously delivered. I had to go through my list of friends trying to figure out by process of elimination who would have sent it; turned out to be an old friend I'd kept in touch with but only just, so it was doubly unexpected. And reverentially appreciated dram by dram.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:23 AM on October 24, 2020 [4 favorites]

FWIW, I hated the surprise of gifts, as well as the socially-performative nature of opening presents, but didn’t understand why and couldn’t express the feeling. Today, I think people mostly understand that they need to absolve me of any need to participate in that approach.
posted by bixfrankonis at 10:48 AM on October 24, 2020 [5 favorites]

There are many things that I want but they're things that I want when I have a house - and I'm not going to get a house until I move to somewhere that isn't rural central Iowa, and I'm not going to move out of rural central Iowa until I get a job somewhere that isn't rural central Iowa, and I'm not even looking for a new job right now for Reasons.

I want my landlord to fix my window, which was smashed during the derecho more than two months ago.

In smaller wishes: I want some better lighting for Zoom calls, a spice rack, the entirety of BPAL's new Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers collection, and a veggie burger from Zombie Burger. But I probably need a replacement wheel for my car that keeps having trouble with rim leaks.
posted by Jeanne at 11:40 AM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

Better rain pants and new outdoor shoes, because apparently my Oboz I bought last summer aren't as waterproof as they claim to be. The mid-range rain pants I bought are... ok but just too small for layering on my fat ass or biking in, and they're comically difficult to put on even though the legs zip fully open. It's like I'm a sausage trying to stuff myself into my own casing.

A new Leatherman multitool, an assortment of new bike tools that I don't have.

A complete pro bike overhaul and new beefier rims.

On the much higher end I would love a good, reliable folding solar panel big enough to charge my ebike conversion and a way to convert the battery into a solar generator of some kind as well capable of charging and power some basic stuff like a small laptop, phone and lights.

Yeah there's a theme here and that theme is basically: Let's go ride bikes! Possibly in bad weather, while trying to get lost deep in the woods!

I've been wanting this combination of ebike + solar + power for accessories combination for so long it's been something like twenty years, with ideas about being able to go on extended bike tours and being able to go camping pretty far off grid while staying online and connected, maybe being able to do things like photography, field recording and such out in the middle of nowhere.

I can't remember his name, but there was some tech industry bike nerd that did this way back maybe as early as the mid to late 1990s to early 2000s, and he had some wild custom recumbent bike with a trailer packed with waaaaaay too much technology. Like he had a chording keyboard built into his handlebars and multiple computers and a bunch of discrete devices like an old school GPS unit and data radios or early cellular data modems and so on - all of which could be easily replaced today with a cheap cell phone and laptop combo.

Also, if I remember correctly I don't think he had a powered bike and it was just human powered and all the heavy solar and batteries were just for his toys.

Well, I'm almost there.

A few months ago I converted my awesome touring/gravel bike into a mid drive ebike kit. This is the same bike gman's brother bought me almost ten years ago, the same bike I was living on for a few years on my survival bike tour of doom and self discovery almost 5-6 years ago.

The same bike that pretty much saved my life in a lot of different ways, and still does because it's a huge boon to my mental and spiritual health.

I had a lot of mixed feelings about converting it to an ebike and originally wanted to build my ebike on a different used bike like a steel mountain bike frame converted to a gravel bike or something. But since the pandemic everyone has been getting back into bikes so much that when I called up to ask if they had any suitable used bikes built up the guy just started laughing at me. (He actually knows me and he's my favorite mechanic and parts-finder.)

And I was realizing I really did just want the same exact bike I already had and how much it would cost to get a second set of all the accessories I wanted to make it basically the same bike but with power.

So I went for it. And I fucking love it.

It's now a turbo-powered beast of an ebike. I used the class of mid-drive kit that people normally put on a big, heavy fat tire bikes or mountain bikes on a rather light and fast 700c gravel bike with fairly skinny tires and kept the rear 8 speed drive train touring friendly gearing, so I have a gear range that's suitable for climbing hills or higher top end road speeds and downhills.

With pedaling I can easily hit 20+ MPH going up steep hills. The top end speed I've hit on a flat is [redacted] and it's just ludicrous and I love it. (Safety disclaimer: I've spent my whole life riding dirt and am used to going this fast on the same bike, but normally I would need to bomb a hill to get there. Yes, I'm wearing a good helmet and gloves!)

Heck, the other day I experienced the thrill of something you only get have happen on a motorcycle, which was having my back tire spin and fishtail on dry asphalt due to too much power and torque in accelerating out of a tight turn and I loved it. I did a burn out on my bike! Coooool.

It also has some serious range because I went for one of the biggest batteries I could get for a 52V mid drive. I've done 40+ mile rides with barely pedaling at all and barely broke 75% battery remaining. I think with economical use with a light load, pedaling and managing acceleration it could do 100+ miles, maybe even 200. I have yet to run it down below about 70% battery and I think it might take me all day and then some to run it flat.

So now I can commute to work in about a third of the time it used to take me, and not have my ass kicked on the hilly, long ride before I even get to work. I can haul groceries and run errands without planning my route around hills or elevation. Sometimes I even use it at work if they need me to run to the store, because I can easily match the local speed limits and I don't have to find parking and end up being faster than using a car.

And I can basically go everywhere I would go on my gravel bike from super slim and twisty single track trails through heavy brush or long trails and even whip it around and go do some trail bashing. I'm actually riding a lot more and getting to explore a lot.

One of the things I like to do now before work is go do some forest bathing and trail exploring because now it's not a huge investment of time or energy and it gets me through the day. Sometimes I get to work on something remotely and I can set up an office in all kinds of cool outdoor places that would normally be a lot more work to get to.

And I think I'm going to go do that now. It's super windy out and I don't care because I don't have to struggle into headwinds!
posted by loquacious at 11:41 AM on October 24, 2020 [8 favorites]

A new lightweight foldable wheelchair with quick release wheels compatible with my current supply of wheels.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:59 AM on October 24, 2020 [7 favorites]

(Steve Roberts, technomad on BEHEMOTH, later working on microships, possibly in the San Juans now)
posted by clew at 1:05 PM on October 24, 2020 [2 favorites]

I always have a very sensible holiday wishlist with books and kitchen stuff with one completely ridiculous item for my Mom to get me so she feels like she got me a "big" present. This years it's a dog DNA kit. The shelter told us Ozzy is a labradoodle and he's almost certainly a labradoodle. But for the last year friends have been texting me photos of Lagotto Romagnolos that are my dogs doppelgänger (...doggelgänger) asking if someone stole Ozzy. So I am wondering just a little bit and think it would be fun to find out. If nothing else I'll learn what mix of dogs it takes to make a counterfeit Lagotto Romagnolo.
posted by lepus at 1:46 PM on October 24, 2020 [2 favorites]

Imaginary wishlist first:

* The ability to jump ahead in time about 2 months, to the point where my broken knee has finished healing and I'm nearly done with physical therapy.

* An extra room in the apartment where I can set up a full pantry.

* A skylight in the hallway because it gets so dark there.

* The ability to have a dog. (My building is no-dogs-allowed.)

* A small second apartment in Paris, somewhere in the 11eme or 12eme arondissment preferably on Rue Charonne or close by the Marche d'Aligre.

* Transporter technology linking this apartment and that one.

* A cabin in the middle of the Catskills.

Real wishlist -

Some random food prep gadgets and Anthony Bourdain's last book that's due out soon.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:09 PM on October 24, 2020 [3 favorites]

a gift certificate to my salon for botox and ultherapy. yes, I know its incredibly stupid because I work from home anyway and always wear a mask outside. I used to argue with myself about getting 'work' done but its not like I can spend the money on travel or fine dining so I might as well indulge my vanity and smile when I look in the mirror or take a selfie.
/something something beautiful corpse.
posted by supermedusa at 2:11 PM on October 24, 2020 [3 favorites]

I will probably post about 20 answers to this thread over the course of the week, but number 1 on my imaginary wish list:

I want a holodeck, mostly so I can LEARN EVERYTHING FROM EVERYONE. Immediate on call friendly helpful pedagogically expert language teachers all the time any time. Movie appreciation with Roger Ebert. I want to learn piano from Monk. Plus I'd like to be able to hang out at the beach, by myself, and switch from mild sunny (but with shade trees) (or, you know, holodeck sun that doesn't give you skin cancer, that would work too) to cool and somewhat windy and grey and cloudy and occasional rain on the waves and back to mild sunny and back to blustery.

But mostly I want to Learn All the Things, so: a holodeck for me, please.

kristi I'm sad I can only favorite this once!!!
posted by supermedusa at 2:13 PM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

A large jewellery box with lots of small dividers and maybe stackable layers. There would be no more cascades of tiny cardboard boxes whose teeny tiny contents tumble out...and it would put an end to the sometimes fruitless treasure hunts that delay my morning walk to work.
posted by The Patron Saint of Spices at 2:25 PM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

New teeth. My three wisdom teeth grew in pointing forward under the gumline and ended up pretty much crushing most of the back of my mouth. It's eventually dentures or the new-fangled new teeth in a day thing. It's been on my wishlist for a decade or so.
posted by zengargoyle at 2:30 PM on October 24, 2020 [3 favorites]

A Joe Biden landslide.
My 20 year old body back.
posted by Splunge at 2:33 PM on October 24, 2020 [16 favorites]

universal healthcare.
posted by k8lin at 2:34 PM on October 24, 2020 [10 favorites]

well if we're going full HAM here I'd like my entire skeleton replaced with some sort of high-tech titanium frame, joints moving smoothly suspended in some colloidal goo.

and a Biden landslide pls Santa!!!!
posted by supermedusa at 2:36 PM on October 24, 2020 [3 favorites]

To be recruited by The Culture, whisked off to live on a GSV with my loved ones.
posted by signal at 2:44 PM on October 24, 2020 [7 favorites]

I want a pair of pyjamas that feels brand-new every time I put them on.

I want a magic remote control that cleans my house, washes my clothes, performs all necessary car maintenance, and converts litter/animal poop into twenty dollar bills.

And I want a house with a closed courtyard for my cats to play in, located in a region with more humidity and more humanity.
posted by armeowda at 3:45 PM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

I struggle badly with wanting things. Like, it’s hard for me to feel the need to want things, and part of that, I think, is that when I do want a thing, I get so terribly conflicted about whether or not it’s worth actually buying the thing that I’ll actually go to the store where it is, and stand there staring at the thing. While doing that, my mind will come up with all of the reasons that I shouldn’t get the thing that I want. I’ve done this for a very long time, and I want it to stop.

Last year during the holiday season, PlayStation 4s were on sale for $100 off the regular price, and I wanted one, but agonized about it, and by the time I decided I would finally buy one, they were literally sold out across the country. Over the summer, I agonized about getting a new iPad and the Apple Pencil to start drawing again, as I’d be mostly stuck inside for five weeks with nothing to do. I kept looking at the Apple store, then giving up, until one day, the next day shipping was gone, and there was a notice about a 4 week delay, so, we’ll, that’s done. A couple weeks ago, I was in a little hobby shop that had little snap together models that I really like, and I stood there, boxes in hand, justifying all the reasons not to buy them (waste of money, where would I put them, once I finish building the model, what’s the point?) and ended up putting them back, an incredibly detailed Y-Wing model about two inches long, and a Starblazers earth battleship (not the Yamato) that would’ve cost about $12.

I want to be able to want a thing, and to buy it without going through this hellish cycle in my head. I have a deal with myself right now, because I want a PS5 when they come out, that every day I walk at least 10,000 steps, I put an imaginary $5 in an imaginary jar. I won’t have enough by launch, which is fine, because that’ll let me bypass whatever terrible issues pop up at launch.

I want the Polceyn Ruhlman book on pâtés. I want to have a small group of friends over for thanksgiving, but I’m realizing that’s not going to happen, but I’ve only just recently let myself vocalize it. A functional neck and lower back would also be appreciated.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:18 PM on October 24, 2020 [6 favorites]

I honestly would like my kids to be about 4 years older so that I could like not be responsible for their every need every single second of every single day, but I would probably regret that later too.

You will regret it. But, it sounds like you already regret it and appreciate the time with the ying yangs.

My kids are now in their 20s. I spent many a day saying to myself, I can't wait for the next stage. Diapers suck or begging them to let me strap them into the car seat sucks or the throw food at the table thing sucks or the I don't want to go to school thing sucks, or the puberty blues suck or the Dad, can I have $20? (not even a hello Pops) sucks or the can I get a car thing sucks or the Pops, I am ok but the car not so much thing sucks, or the staying up until 2 am waiting for them to come home in one piece thing sucks, but now when they are not here in the house, that sucks the worst. Time flies. Kids are great.

I made a decision at some point that I would either have to be annoyed at the things kids do or be amused. I chose the amused path. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. My ex used to say she had 4 kids just that one was much bigger and older. I chose to let them be with the understanding I would bail them out (not literally, well yes literally but more figuratively) if they made a mistake rather than fight them on all the, shall we say, less than well thought out ideas. Rather than helicopter, I took adviser route. Here is my advice. Make your own decision but live with the consequences good or bad.

My wish list would include a commitment from all 3 to always come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas every year. Never get the I am too busy. We are going to my spouses' , etc. All I ask is one holiday every year.

I also wish for their health and safety. Seeing as one of my kids is a pilot and another in the US Army, and the third is somewhat of a risk taker living in NYC, it seems like not too much to ask.
posted by AugustWest at 4:21 PM on October 24, 2020 [8 favorites]

I would like for my husband not to be dead again. I know that's not happening, so this is what I would wish if I could have anything in the world:

- A nice house with a washer and dryer;
- Friends and neighbors where I could interact safely;
- A dog. I have always wanted to have a border collie dog, but my sister said I can't have one unless I am willing to be herded, I guess she's right, but I love them;
- A clean house. I am a clean person, and I don't like having a messy house;
- Friends. I have friends at a distance and I am VERY grateful for them, but

I get freaked out being all alone by myself and friend visits a long time between. I do enjoy time by myself but weeks and months beyond human interaction is freaking me out!

So I wish for someone to visit me in the winter.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 5:46 PM on October 24, 2020 [21 favorites]

I want to have a small group of friends over for thanksgiving

ME TOO. I wish to see my friends in real life and cook for them! I want that very much! (Meanwhile, I just want them to be OK so we can possibly do this in the future)

I wish for my cats to stay healthy. They're about 10 years old now and on the kidney diet, but doing all right, I think.

And god, I wish this depression would vanish. I'd like to feel OK about singing again, rather than my mind screaming at me every time I try and practice.
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:57 PM on October 24, 2020 [6 favorites]

I want a job that pays as well as my current one, but means more to me.

I need to find a dude to date who will give me faith that men my age are not a complete lost cause. Even if we don't work out long-term, that would be really nice.

I need to befriend someone who is into different kinds of booze and willing to teach me about them (but not an alcoholic) because when you grow up in a teetotaling family, going into a liquor store is very intimidating. What do I like? I don't know! But I don't want to buy a 30.00 bottle of something and then find out I hate it. Also I know nothing about mixing drinks.

I need to find a good woman electric guitar teacher because I have both a sweet little purple Danelectro an a crippling sense of insecurity about playing music.
posted by emjaybee at 6:13 PM on October 24, 2020 [10 favorites]

I have finally got my work-from-home set-up all set up, and I'm pretty happy with it from a technical point of view. But now what I want is some cute little tchotchkes to give it some personality, because it's currently a little sterile. I think this may be the kind of thing that I have to get for myself, rather than having someone get it for me, but that's what's on my current wish-list.

I broke down and got myself a coffee maker this week. I have always been totally happy with my aeropress, but it only makes one cup of coffee at a time, and I realize that's not really working for me now that I'm working from home, am busy at work, and don't have time for breaks. So I got a Mr. Coffee, and now I can get up when I have a second and get more coffee without having to boil water and whatnot.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:18 PM on October 24, 2020 [2 favorites]

My career and industry to return.

To curl up in the arms of someone who cares about me and just feel secure for a minute of two.

Since neither of those are happening anytime soon, I’ve been wanting a 3 compartment trash can for my kitchen for, oh, 22 months now. I finally found one that suits my needs and fits in my tiny NY apartment, so I’ll probably ask my dad for that. My mom decided to cancel Christmas for her half of the family. 🤷‍♀️
posted by mollymayhem at 6:37 PM on October 24, 2020 [6 favorites]

Marie Mon Dieu, I think you should have your Border Collie.
posted by HotToddy at 6:37 PM on October 24, 2020 [16 favorites]

Realistic items:
New shoes for work, but I’m taking care of that soon.

A string of colorful twinkly lights for my hallway, to leave up all year, because there’s nobody to tell me I can’t.

Better shelving/organization/storage, plus a useful knowledge of how to shelve/organize/store things. That second part might be unrealistic, for a wish list.

Some of those little Darda racecars, and a decent amount of track, and of course the space to leave the thing up. I might build myself a table for such a thing, once I get my space and organization stuff sorted out.

Perhaps some ultrafine nail files, so I can have two-weeks-worn-smooth edges on freshly-cut nails. Fresh edges are the worst.

Decent over-the-ear bluetooth headphones that aren’t ridiculously expensive, with cushions that won’t disintegrate in a year.

Slightly less realistic, but not impossible:
Possibly a Cintiq tablet, but that’s a longer way off. Gotta get in the habit of using what I have before I splash out on an expensive tool I might wind up not using.

A really stonking powerful, upgradable computer, and the wherewithal to keep it up-to-date, at least every year or two, anyway.

The pie-sky things, the genie-lamp-style wishlist, is

1) for all the people I care about, or what the hell, all the people, to be in their best health,

2) some version of the “the Culture is real and rescues Earth” fantasy, which would, as a side effect, take care of the item above,

3) some kind of magical way to always access the knowledge of how to best do the thing I want to do. I guess I want an Internet that contains facts, or truth, or content beyond and outside just “what users like me felt like posting,” which as we know, can be pretty great, and often is, but often isn’t. An internet that is more library than billboard. And I guess that like genie wish 1, this would also fall under the umbrella of genie wish 2.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 6:50 PM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

A set of goggles that could be set to any year, so the wearer could see the space around them exactly as it was at that time.
posted by kinnakeet at 7:41 PM on October 24, 2020 [7 favorites]

I just removed a smidge under 100 sq ft of sod from my front yard, so my immediate wishlist is for a Japanese soaking tub. And for my overwinter fiber flax crop to germinate. Or at least not have too much predation if it decides not to germinate until spring.

Continuing in the lawn theme, a European-style scythe to quietly and sustainably mow the wet but tall spring grass has been tickling my fancy lately. Though there aren’t many prehistoric and yet also nearly modern household technologies that I am not a little bit keen on.

Away from -stuff- I would like to have holidays again. Thanksgiving is a lost cause and it’s a bummer.
posted by janell at 10:14 PM on October 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

I feel like everything I REALLY want requires magic:

1. A magical nanny like Mary Poppins who can tidy my house by singing and educate my kid via fanciful adventures, so I just have to feed her and love her instead of teaching her to read and do backward somersaults and draw math story problems while I’m working.

2. Magical hiking boots identical to my existing hiking boots, including level of wear and fit to my feet, but lighter, because I bought these in 1998 before everything was ultralight but they’re otherwise perfect.

3. Magical rewiring of my garage that doesn’t cost thousands of dollars, so I can put a kiln out there and have a functional pottery studio. Actual rewiring of my garage is way too expensive.

4. Magical revision of my appearance and life story so I can attempt the nightmare of post-divorce dating after the pandemic ends without making an ass of myself.

5. Some kind of magical device that tells me where the really good edible mushrooms in the forest are and encourages people/bears who are in the way to go somewhere else for awhile.

More realistically, I’m asking people for a free-standing hammock, gift certificates to the good plant nursery and the good pottery supply store, upgraded kitchen basics like fancy cookie sheets, and a national parks pass for next year. Delightful boring things.
posted by centrifugal at 10:15 PM on October 24, 2020 [5 favorites]

My impossible wish is that somehow every MeFite who needed another person to be whole could be introduced to another MeFite that needed them and was a perfect match. Because we’re all pretty good, I think.

And I want the new LEGO StarWars Mos Eisley Cantina, which is sold out.

I’m sure there’s a middle ground there somewhere, but can’t come up with anything.
posted by skyscraper at 10:43 PM on October 24, 2020 [6 favorites]

I have had a fever and severe fatigue since Friday and will be driving myself to a walk-through COVID testing center in a few hours. I feel so weak I got dizzy halfway through washing a couple dishes and had to sit down, heart pounding and sweaty.

I'm also a medical worker who's due back at work on Thursday.
I obviously wish for it to not be COVID but I also hope I get an accurate result and not a false negative. I cannot imagine going back to work feeling like this but we are so short staffed that I simply have to be there. I texted a coworker about the fever and got a dismissive answer along the lines, oh it's probably emotional since it was a day after my birthday. So, yeah, my biggest fear is that I still feel like s***t when I go back to work and that I'll harm someone due to the brain fog and the sheer exhaustion.

So, I'd like to feel magically 100% better right now. And for my family (whom I only see with a kn95 mask on - they are cheap over here) to stay healthy.

In terms of physical objects, I'd like a recycling trash can that does not suck. I live in a walk-up with a small kitchen and currently have five trash containers and would love to figure out a better system.
posted by M. at 2:01 AM on October 25, 2020 [6 favorites]

Oh man I absolutely have a never gonna happen list that I still hold a candle for. Top three :

1) Meat slicer. My partner's from Chicago and looooves Italian beef so I'd love to be able to actually deliver on that thin sliced beef goodness at home. I've tried every which way to get that without a slicer but nothing works as well. Plus when I make bacon I'd love to get it through a meat slicer and freeze it that way. Everyday usefulness lowish, but there are definitely a few tasks I do periodically it would excel at.

2) Chamber vacuum sealer. I have a food saver that's . . . fine? It does some of what I need ok, some of what I need poorly, and can't do everything I want. For one I'd love to be able to compress melon. It sounds like a silly thing, and it is, but make wouldn't that be fun, and it's something I love every time I have it. As well there's a lot of things that have meat + juice. The ability to seal those securely would be amazing! There's enough times when some liquid has interfered with the seal on my current vac sealer that I'd love a chamber one had we the space.

3) Chest/2nd freezer. This is last one the list but first in line of ever actually happening. I really hate our current fridge/freezer combo, not the least because it's a side by side so I have to manage temperature differential along side the fact that our freezer is quite narrow. It fits the galley kitchen though so I don't ever really see it changing. But I'd love a separate freezer! Too much pork shoulder from costco? Frozen and accessible, oh this extra bbq? It's not hidden behind the thrice cut pork belly, but below the turkey, etc. Growing up we had an outdoor freezer that I wish I could access now, but again we don't have the space and man I miss a more functional freezer system.
posted by Carillon at 2:46 AM on October 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

Mostly, I have all the stuff I want, which makes me very lucky. I still have wants, though, but they can't go on a holiday list:

1. ankles that like running and don't start aching in the mornings when I'm running regularly
2. a stash of willpower to stop me doomscrolling and help me to read some of my unread books
3. the ability to know how much I can attend to my own stuff (reading, doomscrolling, learning) when there's a child in the house. He's getting older and can entertain himself for hours but how much should I be directing his activities and steering him away from TV?
posted by altolinguistic at 3:24 AM on October 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

I have two things. The first is for someone handy to come over and help me do some simple but possibly time consuming cosmetic renovations to my apartment (removing some terrible wallpaper; painting some walls, finally putting up curtains in the living room).
The second wish is for a microchip cat feeder so that my adult cat will stop eating the kitten's food. So fancy! So expensive!
posted by janepanic at 3:44 AM on October 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

COVID-safe childcare.
posted by saladin at 4:10 AM on October 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

Eyebrows McGee saidIt isn't as good as browsing in person, but my library has been doing a thing where you fill out a form saying what you're in the mood to read and a couple of books you like, and within 48 hours the librarians email you back with 10 suggestions, and you can just click the links to get them for curbside pickup, or e-book borrowing.

That sounds marvellous. I've been adding a note to my email saying "and anything you think I'd like." The librarians added all kinds of books to my pile. :) A bit hit and miss but it's also a bit of human interaction, another thing I'm starved for :)
posted by Zumbador at 4:54 AM on October 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

I would like

1. To be on the lease in an apartment - since this is a wish list, I'll say an affordable but well-kept-up 1 BR in my current neighborhood with plenty of counter and shelf and closet space that allows cats so I can bring Triceratops back to live with me (my parents have temporary custody but it's been several years now since I've had my cat with me) and will have no roommates

2. Bras that fit and are attractive and comfortable

3. A new set of nice pots and pans, and metal measuring cups and spoons

4. All sorts of organizing things. Boxes and files and drawers in various sizes.

5. A new, more comfortable desk chair

Otherwise, I feel like my Stuff Needs are being pretty well met!
posted by ChuraChura at 5:45 AM on October 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be surprised by my friends showing up to come with me for a morning spending irresponsible amounts of money at vintage stores in a city with good ones and maybe have a massage and and a facials and then an Edie Sedgwick inspired makeover (it's been a while since I've gone blonde). And then get all dressed up in some fabulous Mod cocktail dress and ridiculous statement earrings and eat oysters and go to some dance party with all of my best friends where everyone looks gorgeous in some heavily sequined, gender-irrelevant way and we dance to weird disco and Wu Tang Clan and "Private Idaho" at some point the DJ plays "Fame" by David Bowie and "Fame" by Irene Cara (the 12" extended mix) back to back and we all sing along under a rain of sparkly rainbow confetti and gold balloons and afterward we have 4am breakfast and walk home as the sun comes up and have at least two days to recover, because Lord Knows, none of us are that young anymore. And it's worth pointing out that my desire to do this has in no way subsided now that I'm in my forties, and probably less cool or famous or likely to be either than ever, and thus the whole thing has an added sense of poignancy or whatever.

But it's Covid times, and with expectations wholly in check (my five year old MacBook is dying a slow and painful death even as we speak, which is probably where the rest of my frivolous* budget is about to go), I'd probably settle for the new Alex Ross, some decent watercolor brushes and cold press paper, and an "everyday" black cashmere sweater, sans moth holes. I'd planned on asking UK-bound friends to try and find me a bottle of Harris gin (which is delicious and still does not ship to the US) but alas, 2020.

*Note: Until last week, I was asking for these, but I finally buckled (or more accurately zipped) and bought them for myself. Because in Endtimes, a girl needs a fabulous pair of green metallic boots. And if it's not Endtimes . . . well, I'll be the one in forever debt but with fabulous green metallic boots.
posted by thivaia at 5:47 AM on October 25, 2020 [7 favorites]

Oh! If someone WANTED to give me a kitchenaid mixer, I probably wouldn't say no.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:53 AM on October 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

Carillon, I’m with you on the meat slicer. I’m making (for other people) about 15-18 kilos of bacon a month, but a slicer with enough “travel” for a whole slab of bacon is way past home use and into professional grade machinery, massive footprint and very heavy. Instead, I slice all the bacon by hand, for which I use the giant ass 12 inch knife I was given several birthdays ago. It takes forever, but over the years I’ve gotten pretty good at uniform-ish thickness, though it’s hard to do thin slices for people who want super crispy bacon.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:21 AM on October 25, 2020 [2 favorites]

At this point in life, I have very few wants or needs for gift-giving occasions. More than anything what I want is uninterrupted time. I have a slew of albums and CDs I've never gotten to dig into to give a proper first listen, plenty of movies and shows I want to watch, and books to read. But between work, family, and pet maintenance, I have almost zero time to myself to really enjoy these things.
posted by jzb at 7:25 AM on October 25, 2020 [2 favorites]

--My ultimate wish at the moment is that someone would figure out how to install venting for my kitchen fan. (TL;DR: house was built in 1850; the kitchen was originally in the basement, then moved upstairs in the 20th c., at which point it was vented by opening the back door; in the 1980s, the then-owner added a laundry room in front of said back door; now there is no ventilation)

--More realistically, a KitchenAid stand mixer, one that can actually handle things like bread dough.
posted by thomas j wise at 7:36 AM on October 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

I've been adding a note to my email saying "and anything you think I'd like."

My library is back open for browsing now, but, back when we were only doing curbside service, fulfilling requests like these (or 'ten board books for a kid who likes animals,' or 'I've already read all the Michael Connelly books, what else would I like?', or 'funny family-friendly tv shows,' or 'new science nonfiction') really made us feel connected with our users, and has been some of my most satisfying covid-era work (trying to make policies that please both people who want to shut everything down and people who want everything back to normal has been... challenging). If your library is closed, and they're accepting these kinds of requests, please, keep making them.

Okay, wishlist: I have a bunch of mostly-old bikes (some of them pretty nice) and two old cars (one's boring and the other's a money pit, but they're okay). I would like to sell all of these and get one nice bike and one nicer car, without actually having to do any of the work of making that happen. If somebody wanted to give me a cabin somewhere next to water, or laser eye surgery, I wouldn't turn it down.

More realistically, I'd like an immersion blender, but then I'm like 'well, it's kinda single-use' and 'well, I already have a regular blender,' and I never manage to buy one. Same for an outdoor pizza oven, except that they're a lot more expensive. There's a pair of fancy shoes I'd like to buy, but they're never in stock. More tattoos.

(There's also a lot of stuff I'm wishing for re elections and pandemics and justice and relationships and whatnot, but I'd rather talk about cabins and blenders.)
posted by box at 7:38 AM on October 25, 2020 [4 favorites]

In a day to day sense I have everything I need and don't really have a wish list of stuff. But I'm also getting tired of living in unsatisfying apartments in a city where housing costs are way too high to ever consider buying. I don't so much mind renting (though it definitely has its downsides), but I do mind that renting here means not having the space to have a chest freezer or to be able to use tools, or even to feel enough permanence to put up artwork. We've been talking for a while about maybe moving far away to a place with a better climate and more rational costs of living, but now we are all stuck in incompetent pandemic hell and everything is on hold.

So I guess my wish list is really for big-picture things that need to change in the world, like universal healthcare and sane immigration policies and government that listens to science. Then, I'd be able to exercise all my stuff-related fantasies about having a large and well-set up kitchen, and so on.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:56 AM on October 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

I realized I need some new gloves this morning when I went to scrape the car and couldn't find them. Gloveless car scraping will appear in my personal hell.

Also maybe an induction burner? I have a crappy stove and it'd be nice to have some kind of heat control for at least one pan.
posted by East14thTaco at 8:21 AM on October 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

These are all so wholesome and heartwarming to read :) thanks for sharing !

My wishlist - I'll soon have a bedroom opening up, which I want to make into a home yoga/dance studio, so a WiFi extender (to better do streaming classes ) and a wall of full-length mirrors would be awesome. And a chandelier, one of the kind that's metal flowers in a chalky green/pink , like this.

My house has lots of small fixes needed , just spackles/repaints , some things hung up, etc. If I could have someone swing through here and do all that for free, that'd be great. A tree in the backyard needs to be removed as well.

I wish I could figure out how to do those plastic molly things that hold screws in the wall. I fuck those up every. single. time.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 8:28 AM on October 25, 2020 [4 favorites]

Yes, a Biden landslide would be good, along with the Green New Deal.

I would really like an e-scooter! Since I have been working from home, I wanted to sell my car and get an e-scooter. My wife said I will need the car in a couple of years, which is true. She said I could still have the scooter, but that didn't seem fair.

In 12-18 months, we would like to get out of our apartment and buy a house. I would like more space in the kitchen and otherwise. And a yard to make a food forest and wildlife garden (although I am not sure how compatible those two goals are).

It would be nice to eat inside with my dad and sister.

Among more realistic items, I would like some new long-sleeve tops.
posted by NotLost at 9:33 AM on October 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

HOLY SHIT, all y'all. I was going to tell you about my biggest, and pretty much only, material wish: to have my motorbike (the ancient Honda offroad that carried me all around the Sahara) running properly again. The engine has really seen better days, after 150'000 kms, and is wearing out in several places.

Yesterday I found a revised engine being offered for sale. That never happens. These things are getting so rare! The bike is from 1987 and the engines that are left are pretty much all used up by now, or in the hands of people who love them to death and will never part with them. Or they're much more expensive than I can afford.

This one, however. It still costs money. But I can afford it.
It may be irrational to pump money into such al old bike that will never be worth a lot, and more so to spend money on a toy that runs on fossil fuel in this day and age. It may be silly not to keep the money as a buffer especially now.
But, this is my Africa bike. I love this bike. I don't even think I'll ever want another one until I get too old to throw my leg over the seat and kickstart the thing... which will probably happen in the next 15 or 20 years.

It has handmade stainless steel panniers, that will only fit this model; they are extremely narrow because they are built very close to the bike, which you can only do if you are building them to fit a specific bike. You can't buy panniers like that.
It has a larger than standard tank (for long distances) and a shorter seat (to fit the tank). It has additional oil cooling (for the desert).
In other words, it's customized. And if you dig deep enough, you will find that some parts still carry traces of red desert dust.

It's not a pretty bike. But it's mine. And it'll be fixed up and I'll be able to go riding it again. I've been missing that!
My partner fully supports me in this irrational, silly endeavour and the engine is now reserved for me. I'm not sure whether to cry happy tears or jump for joy. Maybe I can do both.
posted by Too-Ticky at 10:18 AM on October 25, 2020 [17 favorites]

I just have one wish and I've been wishing it really hard and I can't make it come true. I just wish everyone would wear a fucking mask.
posted by Stanczyk at 10:38 AM on October 25, 2020 [13 favorites]

Stanczyk, that's an excellent wish and one that I can get behind. I'll help a tiny little bit by making nice-looking and comfortable masks for family and friends.
posted by Too-Ticky at 10:51 AM on October 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

Ok, super unrealistic wish list: the Culture shows up, fixes our problems, and I get a private island on a private planet (hell, I’ll take a moon. Or even just a small ship).

More realistically: Figure our what I want to do with the rest of my life; get out of my dead end job; and a new tablet, since I just dropped mine and smashed it to bits.
posted by nubs at 1:18 PM on October 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

1. I recently moved into a new (much bigger) apartment, and now I need furniture. My last place had built in bookshelves, and now I have a mountain of boxes in the middle of my living room because I have no bookshelves. So 2 bookshelves are #1 on my wants list. And I will be getting them as soon as IKEA gets its supply chain back in order!

2. Secondly I would like a new sofa. My current love seat is looking pretty rough from my cat's scratching, and it's getting kind of lumpy and uncomfortable. I feel embarrassed when people visit me, because it's so awful. It's also not big enough - I need more bumspace so all of my visitors can sit down.

3. I used to be in costuming and I have a ton of sewing stuff and other related items, like hat blocks and special ironing implements. I want a great big wardrobe to store all of that stuff in. Then I will purge it all in ten years when I no longer feel I have to keep it because it was so expensive.

Totally unrealistic and impossible wishes:
1. I can't drive, but I want to go places. Transit isn't an option because of Covid. So I want a chauffeur to whisk me around places, especially to the grocery store and to areas with hiking trails. The chauffeur would probably have to be a robot or a ghost or something with no personal needs so I don't feel guilty.

2. I'm really cutting it close money-wise. So I want either a) a good job that pays much more than what I currently make, or b) an apartment in the city that costs under $1200/month (this is more improbable than a ghost chauffeur).
posted by Stoof at 1:27 PM on October 25, 2020 [2 favorites]

I want a time machine.
posted by tzikeh at 1:55 PM on October 25, 2020 [2 favorites]

When do you want it?
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:46 PM on October 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

My needs for stuff are pretty well met. My needs for a social life are wrecked by covid, timing, and family dysfunction. But:
A trustworthy housekeeper (previous person 5 years ago was a meth user).
Pants that fit, look normal and have pockets. I keep gaining weight, try-on rooms are closed, and this is a problem. Why are we still wishing for pockets for women? This should be settled science.
My leather jacket is all stretched out. I've had it for over 20 years, so it gave good value.
I would like a pair of well-insulated winter boots, will likely get them soonish. Being well equipped for winter makes it less miserable.
Some very nice bourbon. Some decent sherry. Bedtime, curling up with a book or movie, sipping something nice; this is civilized when nights are long.
Remote work.
Magical revision of my appearance and life story so I can attempt the nightmare of dating after the pandemic ends without making an ass of myself. sigh. this.
posted by theora55 at 2:56 PM on October 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

What is on your wild imaginary wishlist, specific private islands?

Feet on desk, lights cigar... Australia
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:40 PM on October 25, 2020 [2 favorites]

All I want is a photo I've seen for sale. It's a winter photo of the place that we spend a lot of time in every summer.
posted by freakazoid at 5:25 PM on October 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

Nice modernist villa with courtyard in the Douro valley (or a nearby tributary valley), built out of an 1800s farm, nice heavy stonework (with well-hidden seismic reinforcing). Few hectares of olive, a few of grape, some fruit trees, spot of forest maybe, oooo, perhaps a small stream. Let a proper farmer handle the olive/grape sections for free in exchange for a couple bottles a year of each.

And, if we're getting fantasy-style, some DMG Mori Seiki equipment in the workshop, and a Kern unit on a base-isolated pad. Probably wire EDM as well, since we're going that way already. Haas if we're going lower fantasy quotient. Build absurd geared machines and set them loose about the countryside. Goddammit, another one of Aramaic's machines has gotten into the river, someone give him a call to fish it out. Maybe see if he's made some of that rogan josh we like while you're at it.

I'd settle for the Azores if I could find a seismically/volcanically safe property. Maybe a nice sloped promontory, so the lava would flow around me but I wouldn't fall into the sea either. Problem: getting decent spices. Can't survive without hing et al.
posted by aramaic at 6:21 PM on October 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

I would like a dishwasher please.
posted by h00py at 11:02 PM on October 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

I’d love a house with a yard big enough to socialize in, but LA prices being what they are, it’s unlikely. On the more attainable but markedly less practical end, I’ve been eyeing a Lady Maria hat that might be the one costume-y hat I could pull off. On the solidly practical end, a tiny Shuffle or something for music on my runs would be nice. On a small scale, a Discord server with a perpetual fun conversation, and at this point maybe a paid DM or someone willing to trade DM time for art, because I’d like to play and I’m tired of games falling apart.
posted by tautological at 11:10 PM on October 25, 2020 [1 favorite]

Oh! I just thought of another wish.
I've been absolutely loving watching some kind, soothing shows, really helps my anxiety. The Repair Shop, Queer Eye and Grand Designs are my favorites. Have also enjoyed the Bakeoff show. I watch them on Netflix. But I'm running out! I've watched all the Repair shops, and Queer Eye can't last much longer...I need some more kind, soothing shows.
I've ventured into torrenting to get more episodes of Repair shop and Grand Designs, but either my torrenting skills suck (very likely) or there just aren't a lot of them available :(
posted by Zumbador at 11:25 PM on October 25, 2020 [3 favorites]

Mrs. W's family does a Christmas gift exchange where we list $50 worth of stuff we want, names are picked during Thanksgiving, and then you buy the gifts for the person whose name you get. Everyone opens their gifts Christmas Eve (in a complicated ritual where they go oldest, youngest, next oldest, next youngest, etc. so that I always open my gifts last). So, every November I am thinking of gifts. This year I am asking for Volume 2 of E. Nelson Bridwell's Super Friends comic book stories and Mickey Mouse: The Ice Sword Saga which is very well reviewed. That's not quite $50 yet, so I will be reading everyone else's wish list.
posted by wittgenstein at 5:47 AM on October 26, 2020 [1 favorite]

But it felt callous to ask for money for something so stupid when everyone was losing jobs and marching in the streets for justice.

You should start a GoFundMe for an animatronic velociraptor, so it can go and march with the protests for justice.
posted by Stoneshop at 10:46 AM on October 26, 2020 [1 favorite]

A cure for cancer, asap. For people and cats. Thank you.

Warm fleece-lined leggings.
Warm fleece-lined slippers.
Warm (fleece-lined?) lap blanket.
That small vintage-look Vornado heater. I may have a bit of a theme going here, as I type in my chilly office.
posted by gingerbeer at 1:23 PM on October 26, 2020 [2 favorites]

Current mostly realistic wishlist, in that the wife and I will take care of it ourselves :)

- stand mixer. My sister-from-another-mother assures me that Costco puts these on good sale before Christmas.
- panini press. I'll take care of this for the wife's holiday gift.
- more outlets in my kitchen wall (I love our house, but I don't know who built the kitchen. Someone who didn't cook)
- stove draft
- regraveling our driveway
- re-screening our screen porch
- a nap. many naps. sigh. :)
posted by joycehealy at 1:39 PM on October 26, 2020

> I've been absolutely loving watching some kind, soothing shows, really helps my anxiety. The Repair Shop, Queer Eye and Grand Designs are my favorites. Have also enjoyed the Bakeoff show. I watch them on Netflix. But I'm running out! I've watched all the Repair shops, and Queer Eye can't last much longer...I need some more kind, soothing shows.

Right there with you. I'm currently watching the Great Canadian Baking Show. There's an Irish one, and a few other spinoffs. The Great British Sewing Bee is absolutely fantastic, if you can get access to it. Time Team, the UK archaeology show, kind of scratches that same itch for me.
posted by gingerbeer at 2:43 PM on October 26, 2020 [2 favorites]

Just added to my list, as of a few minutes ago -- a new car, with a catalytic converter that can't be stolen!

I just went out to start my car, so I could drive my visiting elderly parents to the covid testing site, so they can be cleared to see my sister with cancer, who they traveled across country to see, only to discover that the 3rd catalytic converter had been stolen, despite the $400 steel cage I had installed to prevent exactly that, which the thieves nicely left in the street next to the car.
posted by gingerbeer at 2:48 PM on October 26, 2020 [2 favorites]

Aside from the general things, I think we all wish for (Peace on Earth, Goodwill towards all, etc.), my list is remarkably short.

Still fussing with the idea of somehow making it to Ireland around our anniversary next year. This has been on partner's bucket list forever. We found a great deal and then... CoVid.

Over the last several years, my Quonsar/Secret Beans requests have been some variation of, "Do something nice for you (and tell me about it). If you want to do something more, do something nice for your community (and tell me about it). If you STILL want to do something more, send me something that is super local from your area."

Five years ago, I pretty much lucked out on a career that I had been hoping to break into for... decades. This coming February, I will be nicotine free for 3 years. These, and many other things, have given me a cushion that I have never had before. (Money I spent on smokes I had auto-transferred to savings as a way not to spend it on anything but "big ticket" items. Like Ireland.)

My wish list is to have as many others have that same cushion as possible. I feel really darn lucky that I can do so in any way.

As to things I want, I think I am finally going to break down and get a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer in March, with Birthday Money. My parents have started doing that thing of "Here's a check for $10 x number of years of life", so I might just have them order it direct to save them writing a check.

But, really, I just want to make the world a better place for as many people as possible. There's no need for anyone to struggle. I'm not wealthy, but I can definitely raise the tide for a number of boats....
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 6:35 PM on October 26, 2020 [4 favorites]

things that money can buy, maybe:

1. a glass mixer bowl for my standing mixer
2. a fancy air fryer oven and the counter space for it
3. one of those new eyebrow pens that goes on in little strokes so it looks like eyebrows, and the patience to use it
4. an at home laser depilatory? (and the skill and wisdom not to burn my genitals with it)
5. a pack of brand name sharpies
6. a workshop bench with a rotary saw
7. the new Ottolenghi book, I think it's called "Flavor"
8. hair product that would actually work to make my hair look thicker and stay in place
9. a really good, light enough to handle but heavy enough to be very stable, ladder for the house
10. one of those too-good-to-be-true shampoo "systems" for hair thickening
11. a car with a butt warmer and chiller
12. a foot massaging machine that would actually work and not hurt
13. those clips that tighten the waist of your jeans, I had one and it worked but I lost it
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:27 PM on October 26, 2020 [1 favorite]

I want my own ice rink in the basement! Or more realistically, for the rinks to open back up in less than 6 mos. this time... the personal ice rink is looking like the better, safer bet...
posted by Tandem Affinity at 8:54 PM on October 26, 2020 [1 favorite]

I've fairly recently stumbled upon the elevator to the top of Maslow's pyramid, which is fantastic, but means it's hard to come up with a wish list. At least of things that can actually be gifted and don't involve profound changes to society that are hard to achieve. (When it comes to absurd personal things, if anyone wants to send me a box of tenure, I'll happily swap it for thirty pounds of human fat.)

At the moment the only thing on my list is socks that meet my incredibly specific requirements: as thin as possible, large with a wide toe box, not too tight on the shin, able to be washed and tumble-dried without shrinking, black, no embroidery. It doesn't sound challenging, but, they're somehow incredibly hard to find. The last company that sold suitable ones changed their fabric a year or so ago. The package is the same, but they shrink and become unwearable after a couple of washes. I've tried a dozen likely candidates since, and all have failed in one way or another. Which reminds me that I've been meaning to write an askme about that. Next time I find one that works, I'm buying a lifetime supply.
posted by eotvos at 10:34 PM on October 26, 2020 [2 favorites]

After last night's coping-with-broken-knee adventure, I have one thing to add to my immediate blue-sky wishlist -

* a longer bathtub.

(Tried a sit-down shower for the first time last night, and it took my roommate and I about five full minutes to figure out the necessary Tetris to get me into the tub and seated on the shower stool, and yet still somehow figure out where to put my leg with the knee I cannot bend. I ended up having to have it sticking out through the shower doors and propped up on a toilet because without bending my knee I literally could not fit it in the tub.

(Still totally worth the shower, the first one I've had in 3 weeks. And my roommate should absolutely, positively be canonized.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:21 AM on October 27, 2020 [1 favorite]

What I could use:
- A respite from my color blindness so I could decorate my house in a way that has some sense of style. Yes, I could hire someone to do it but I want it to be mine and I can't trust my instincts.

- An end to this fucking pandemic so I wouldn't have to deal with the prospect of not seeing my girlfriend for months at a time because everything is horrible here in WI and her roommate isn't taking the appropriate precautions to make me feel safe enough to get together in person.

- New albums by all my favorite artists in lieu of concerts any time soon.

- A reliable 2nd tennis serve.

- A ride in a motorcycle sidecar

- A trip to see the redwoods in California so I can be among my tall brethren

- As long as we're dreaming, a bathtub that I can comfortable fit my legs into.
posted by Twicketface at 8:58 AM on October 28, 2020 [2 favorites]

-- A new laptop complete with charger cord and mouse, as the video chip on my 2012 laptop is dying, my old charger cord is mended with duct tape, and my mouse is getting unreliable.

-- A trip to the optometrist, and new glasses. Haven't had my eyes tested since 2012, and the glasses I got then are looking worn and shabby. Contacts would be nice too, since I haven't had any for years, and if I'm really dreaming, a great pair of prescription shades.

-- A new front porch, as mine, which has needed replacing for years, is really starting to scare me.

-- A new tiled kitchen ceiling with track lights over the countertops and a pendant light over the kitchen table. At present, the kitchen ceiling is a disgusting old stained suspended tile ceiling, and the light in it hasn't worked properly for years.

-- A set of ChiaoGoo 2.75-10.0mm Twist Red Lace interchangeable circular knitting needles.

-- A bicycle and helmet. I want a city-style bicycle with cream paint and a brown leather seat.

-- A flat screen TV. Mine current TV is a 1997 analogue set on which the picture frequently cuts out during movies and I have to jiggle the cords on the back to get it back again.

-- A mandoline for the kitchen. I want to make dried apples.:)

-- I'm drooling over several pairs of shoes and boots on the Cydwoq site. They're so worth it once you have them, because they'll outlast so many pairs of regular factory-made shoes, but they are a big up front cost.

-- A new rug for my bedroom floor.

-- A new premier for Ontario. That'll have to wait until 2022 though.

-- Decent physical energy levels. I've had chronic fatigue issues for over 13 years now, and it's driving my life into the ground.

-- To be rid of my horrible sociopathic tenants, with whom I've been stuck living in the same house with for over five years.

-- A way to make a reasonable income. I haven't earned a livable income since 2012, and am living partly on borrowed money. I will have to sell my house before too long if that doesn't change.

-- I used to wish for "someone to spend time with", as I've been so isolated for so long. I've been on just two dates in the last 12 years, and since 2012 I've been working from home and only spending time with others socially once every few months. but I almost don't care about that anymore -- I'm too tired to. If I could just pay my own bills and buy the things I really need and not be forced out of my house, I'd feel like that's all I can ask out of life now.
posted by orange swan at 11:54 AM on November 1, 2020 [1 favorite]

I wish to amend my previous wish from "time machine" to "time machine that goes back one week."

Future Me gets out of the time machine, takes my computer away, and says "You have managed to stay off of Twitter for nearly four years. You know that it is a cesspool of hate, stress, and anxiety. Now is the exact wrong time for someone with your mental illnesses to be reading about anything to do with this election, such as Trump people trying to run Biden/Harris buses off the road, Trump and the SCOTUS readying to invalidate the election results NO MATTER WHAT, ignorant people asking "Where are the police?" while looking at Trump intimidation caravans and not understanding that THOSE ARE THE POLICE, people saying there's "Nothing to worry about because this isn't like 2016," people saying "All of the votes will be counted," people saying "Trump will go to prison after he loses" which makes your HEAD EXPLODE with how naive it all is. And so, so, so much more. Oh yeah, and people shooting other people over lawn signs."

"Right now, you don't know any of this. You are in an as decent-as-can-be-expected mental state because you are NOT reading about things you cannot change that are only going to freak you out and enrage you. DO NOT GET ON TWITTER. DO NOT. Stay in your ignorance; it is the only way you will survive this."

And then I promptly forget everything she told me I would see on Twitter and remain as ignorant as I was a week ago, so that I would not be stress vomiting this morning.
posted by tzikeh at 10:42 AM on November 2, 2020

My sister told me recently that she wants to buy me a posh advent calendar, and could I make a list of choices. This made me well up (overtired) and I enjoyed making the list. Here are a few from it:

Advent calendar with literary facts behind each window
Kosmos Science & Research 604349 Alleskönnerk Strip DIY Advent Calendar
FIMO Advent calendar
The Night Before Christmas Dolls House Pop and Slot Advent Calendar
Traditional Black and White Village - 24 Pop up Buildings to Make Advent Calendar
Advent Calendar "Castle in snow"
Ravensburger 18941 Advent Calendar-The Mysterious Castle-24 Puzzles
Festive House Paper Craft Advent Calendar
Haynes Retro Radio Advent Calendar (make a radio in steps every day)
Sellmer Little Town from 1946 Advent Calendar
Moomins by the Fire Advent Calendar 2021 (with stickers)
Mr Holmes' Advent Calendar: 24 Solve-it-Yourself Christmas Crimes
Escape Room Advent Calendars

I posted a version of this list on Ravelry, where we were also discussing Stuff, and someone noticed a if-you-like-this-you-will-like-that link to a dinosaur a day advent calendar, which, although I don't feel I need in my life at the moment, is sort of awesome that it exists.

In not so easy stuff, I would like not to have two rooms I can't use as they are too full of Things (I have a problem), and I would like to find a way to support my niece better without us both getting disspirited. I am meeting her later today to help with a project on the history and connotations of poppies, and I know it will be hard to help her feel that she is doing a good job.
posted by paduasoy at 2:03 AM on November 8, 2020 [1 favorite]

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