Metatalktail Hour: Nuisance-level nitpicks February 12, 2021 11:20 AM   Subscribe

What are your minor annoyances? We know what all the MAJOR annoyances are lately but what’s the teeny thing that nonetheless is on your last nerve after all this time at home, or navigating workandschoolandpeopleandstuff?

As always this is just a conversation starter not a limiter, anything's on topic except Politics. What's your minor gripe? I am here for it.
posted by jessamyn (retired) to MetaFilter-Related at 11:20 AM (222 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

Mine are small: after some holiday package mishegas me and my long distance partner set out some ground rules for valentines. Mail EARLY. Which he did. And mine still hasn't arrived. And I am a huge fan of the post office, and I understand and sympathize with what they are dealing with, and yet I would like this dumb little piece of paper to appear in my mailbox before Sunday (he has mine), even as I am not really a "YES HOLIDAYS" person. Grump!
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 11:25 AM on February 12 [6 favorites]


Also I have small town governance things that I attend. We receive these invitations by letter which is also PDFed and emailed to us. The Zoom link is in this letter, and in this PDF, it is not in this email. I just want a link to click!
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 11:30 AM on February 12 [7 favorites]


I developed an allergy to a cheap but effective moisturizer that I particularly like, which is just like, really? I cut out all my makeup use for straight up a whole year and THIS is how you repay me, face?
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:38 AM on February 12 [4 favorites]


My neighbors continue to put their recycling in paper bags before placing them into the building recycling receptacle, despite very clear signs instructing residents not to do so. Bagged recycling takes up a lot of room. I frequently have to wait until the recycling is collected to add my own to the bin. Relatedly, one of my neighbors puts their weekly newspaper delivery directly into the recycling without even taking it out of the plastic bag, which seems environmentally and financially wasteful. Argh!
posted by wicked_sassy at 11:49 AM on February 12 [4 favorites]


My wife leaves the light on in her closet all the time. Back in the days of incandescent bulbs I'd have a point in asking her to turn it off when not in use but it's just one LED bulb and yes it should be turned off and I do turn it off when I see it's been left on but it isn't worth nagging someone over. She's mindful of turning off lights in general but this one always slips her mind.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:11 PM on February 12 [2 favorites]


My new job sent me a 13" laptop instead of a 17" like I was used to.
It was hurting my eyes and just crashing my brain to be squinting at something so tiny all day.
So I had to then buy with my own money a monitor, a webcam, a trackpad, a monitor holder to attach to my desk so it wasn't too high up, and a keyboard.
Because it's a new Macbook it's USB-C only, so for each of these things I had to buy and return at least 2 of them before I found one that actually worked with USB-C because I wasn't reading the descriptions carefully enough. Some of the extras are still sitting around here because I don't actually have time for any of this.
Now I'm waiting on my 3rd webcam to show up because the one I got connects to the USB-C through an adapter so the mic doesn't work. And also my skin shows up as bright red so I have to put on 3 layers of tinted moisturizer before each meeting so I don't look like I'm dying of shame or something.
So I'm using my laptop's mic because the webcam mic doesn't work.
But that means that I have to remember to open the lid during meetings, because if i keep it open all the time then having it in my field of vision at the same time as my monitor hurts my eyes because they have different resolutions.
So when I don't remember to open the lid before the meeting, when I do open it, then the meeting also switches the camera to the laptop's camera. Which is not pointed at anything.
So then I have to leave and rejoin the meeting and it's all VERY EMBARRASSING. ACK.
posted by bleep at 12:18 PM on February 12 [5 favorites]


The lid on my coffee carafe has a lever you depress with your thumb when you want to pour coffee out. When you screw the lid on, the lever should line up perfectly with the carafe handle for both ergonomic and aesthetic reasons. But it doesn’t! It lines up just a little off center, and it bothers me every time I get coffee.
posted by not_the_water at 12:37 PM on February 12 [9 favorites]


Every time someone fucks up breathe/breath when writing I die inside.
It's the most minor thing, everyone knows what you mean, but this one bothers me more than almost any other typo. It's SO COMMON.

I also am annoyed by isle instead of aisle but not quite so much.
posted by phunniemee at 12:51 PM on February 12 [20 favorites]


hahaha... ok, we have been under-going renovations since October - which means, I might be cranky as every night, I have to drop a mattress on the floor of the living room, then pick it up in the morning.

did I mention the living room is open-concept adjacent to the kitchen? did I mention that my in-laws live with us? they are retired - so, apparently can be up all night watching TV (thankfully in another room) - and then periodically heading to the kitchen for snacks... the clatter of the ice (3:40am this morning, I looked at my phone), the lights absolutely have to go on... occasionally conversations have to occur amongst two people who are suffering from some level of hearing loss... the microwave absolutely has to be used every. single.night. ...

(or - the nightlight that I keep moving from one outlet in the kitchen - because it shines directly into our eyes while attempting to sleep, to another outlet... which then gets passive-aggressively moved back to the original location... every.single.fucking.night, even after explaining and politely asking for it not to be moved to that location...)

Ok - y'know what... I actually don't really find that all that much!

... but... what drives me absolutely bonkers is their tendency to open the refrigerator (at any time of day or night)... and just leave it open while they putter around the kitchen... even actually while cooking an entire breakfast... it has gotten so bad, that I am starting stopwatch timers (10m on one occasion) and occasionally even recording it - in awe... (while also making some snide side-commentary to my wife) ...

...do they think the fridge is a magical device? these are the same adults for are constantly worried about energy usage from LED light bulbs...

.... so.... jessamyn.... thanks for this nice little vent...
posted by rozcakj at 12:54 PM on February 12 [15 favorites]


When something is stored in a ziplock bag and the last person to close it didn't press the air out so now you have a balloon in your cheese drawer in the fridge and it's taking up all the space.
posted by that's candlepin at 1:09 PM on February 12 [11 favorites]


The utter failure of spouse and child to notice when clean laundry or other sundry items need to be put away.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 1:17 PM on February 12 [4 favorites]


The recycling continues to not take itself out
posted by Going To Maine at 1:20 PM on February 12 [13 favorites]


And finding pairs of dirty socks in random locations. This morning they were on the bathroom sink. The laundry chute is five steps away from the bathroom in question.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 1:20 PM on February 12 [2 favorites]


real quick question, does either spouse or child fit inside the laundry chute
posted by phunniemee at 1:41 PM on February 12 [22 favorites]


The other day, my workplace put out a public piece of writing with “plead” used as the past tense of “to plead.” I give up.
posted by holborne at 1:42 PM on February 12 [4 favorites]


The sheer number of library patrons at our curbside service who insist on coming to knock at our staff door, despite the large signs posted immediately in front of their parking spaces with clear instructions that say PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

Also the ones who don't knock at the door but instead get out of their cars and STARE AT US through the window - I suppose to tell us telepathically that they want their books. Those same large clear signs also include a phone number they can call or text when they arrive, but no, the psychic messages and staring are clearly superior.
posted by darchildre at 1:45 PM on February 12 [19 favorites]


Inputs. Learnings.
posted by Stoof at 1:45 PM on February 12 [8 favorites]


Shoveling snow. This year I built a 40x20 pandemic ice rink in the yard (excellent! success!) and it's probably snowed 25+ inches since then, every inch of which has to come off of the rink, with a shovel. At this point there is nowhere reasonable to put it, with another 7 inches or so expected next week.
posted by true at 1:48 PM on February 12 [9 favorites]


My boyfriend just laughed at me for using an immersion blender in lentil soup because, apparently, the people who rely on beans as a staple don't have access to immersion blenders?

He just doesn't like lentil soup, whatever, but that makes zero sense.

In minor joys, though, dreamphone sent me a very tasty lentil soup recipe and I don't have to share any with my boyfriend!
posted by the primroses were over at 1:52 PM on February 12 [9 favorites]


My neighbor has the most amazing snowblower. He can clear ten inches of snow off of his driveway in ten minutes.

He still doesn't clear the sidewalk in front of his house.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:55 PM on February 12 [22 favorites]


The HOA is removing dead/dying trees. It's the third time in 5 years, and most of this week's removals are replacement plantings.
Not one of the HO, not eligible to attend A meetings, so the habitually rotting arboriculture situation is opaque and saddening.
The machinery noise is drowning out the sound of my teeth grinding, so there's that.
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:56 PM on February 12 [4 favorites]


The other day, my workplace put out a public piece of writing with “plead” used as the past tense of “to plead.” I give up.

ehehehe we came within a hair's breadth of publishing a book with a "FOREWARD" after several of us continually asked the people responsible to make the revision. I nearly left the damn thing in out of sheer spite.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:57 PM on February 12 [7 favorites]


Someone used my email address to sign up for a Paypal account, and instead of just marking the emails as spam like I normally do when someone signs up for something with my email, for some reason I took it upon myself to email Paypal to request they remove my address (after first digging around to find a supposedly viable address to do so). I got a canned response with info on how to sign up for Paypal, so I tried again. I got the same canned response.

I am now just irritated enough to think about trying to actually call them (since that's what their site says you need to do) but also too irritated at the thought of having to call them when an email should do. And in the meantime they continue sending me their stupid emails just often enough to remind me that I'm annoyed by the whole thing but not frequently enough to motivate me to get the issue resolved. So instead I set up an auto reply filter that sends my original request every time they send me an email and then moves their stupid email into my trash, which also seems to be what they're doing with my emails; I haven't checked but I'm getting some grim satisfaction at the thought of my inbox and Paypal engaging in an endless loop of automated email battles, clear to the end of time.
posted by DingoMutt at 2:01 PM on February 12 [11 favorites]


real quick question, does either spouse or child fit inside the laundry chute

Sadly, no.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 2:10 PM on February 12 [2 favorites]


I really resent being ignored. I think it goes back to when as a kid my dad would ignore stuff I said or questions I asked if he was irritated or thought it wasn't worth answering. Working various CS jobs over the years, it always inordinately annoyed me when I'd greet someone or ask a friendly question and get zero response, even from a co-worker. And I'll never understand sending a (non-famous) person a polite question or comment about their work and hearing nothing back, even as they're visibly active and engaging with other randos. Like, fuck me for letting you know about a show-stopping bug on your web app, right? Gah.

(NB: Not including romantic ghosting here, more basic acknowledgement/small talk/reaching out to strangers type of stuff.)
posted by Rhaomi at 2:13 PM on February 12 [9 favorites]


When I turn my computer on for work every morning, I have to sign onto the VPN. The VPN is the last thing to start up automatically, which means that while trying to sign into the VPN I am constantly interrupted by about half a dozen pop-ups from programs letting me know they don’t work because I’m not signed into the VPN yet. Such a small thing, and yet it guarantees that I will start off every morning somewhere between severely annoyed to swearing in anger.
posted by skycrashesdown at 2:18 PM on February 12 [25 favorites]


My significant other will take stuff out of the microwave a few seconds before the timer runs down, and just walks away without hitting Cancel.
posted by medeine at 2:20 PM on February 12 [32 favorites]


It's Friday afternoon. The next person who comes to me asking me to turn something around for them by some time on Monday can expect me to reach through the internet and smack them.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:36 PM on February 12 [24 favorites]


if my roommate takes one more luxurious morning shower while I desperately need to pee, I might snap
posted by ChuraChura at 2:49 PM on February 12 [12 favorites]


Why is sharepoint? Why?
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 3:06 PM on February 12 [41 favorites]


Mansplaining
It’s/its
Judgement
You’re
Masks below the nose (ok this might be a major, not minor, annoyance)
Synergy
Socialize
posted by hampanda at 3:13 PM on February 12 [5 favorites]


So many young men with cars modified to be noisier than necessary. WTF is up with that, anyway?
posted by Rash at 3:21 PM on February 12 [8 favorites]


People pretentiously referring to the bathrooms in their houses as “restrooms.” It doesn’t sound fancier that way, it just sounds grosser.

“Washroom,” “WC,” “loo,” “can,” all fine! But unless you have a urinal/diapering station/tampon vending machine/stranger playing “poop chicken” with you from the other side of a metal divider, it ain’t a restroom.
posted by armeowda at 3:27 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]


Hello... trees? Okay, we get it: you're horny. Please keep your pollen in your pants, okay? Some of us are already having a hard enough time breathing over here.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:28 PM on February 12 [10 favorites]


When the fuck did everything become a journey? Everyone is on a fitness journey or a mindfulness journey, and I just listened to a podcast about grief where the host asks each guest to describe their grief journey. I am not on any fucking kind of journey. I have left my house three times in the past month. I'm doing workout videos so my butt doesn't get permanently glued to my sofa cushion, which is not at all the same thing as taking a cool trip to the Republic of Fitlandia.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 3:30 PM on February 12 [41 favorites]


I can see the brochure, now. "Welcome to the Republic of Fitlandia, Population: You!"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:34 PM on February 12 [6 favorites]


Why the fuck is everything about sparking joy, or bringing joy, or giving joy these days - hasn't anyone heard of happiness or contentment or comfort or taste? There's one ad on Australian TV right now that says "Joy" 12 times in 30 seconds. That's 12 times in 30 seconds I'm disrupted from my book because I'm conditioned to react to my name. And the timing is not just Xmas anymore. (I used to be very good at its and it's but rather than look up the correct usage, I will reword my sentence to pretend I don't have a poor memory).
posted by b33j at 3:35 PM on February 12 [22 favorites]


This is more than a minute nuisance, but I went to the doctor yesterday morning to address something causing me a fair amount of discomfort. The person who looked at me said they would call in a prescription; when I called my pharmacy at 5, nothing had been called in and of course the clinic was closed so I had to wait overnight. Called the clinic this morning and was told that the person who saw me yesterday was off but that the clinic would get the prescription sent over. Forgot about it until 3pm (now) because I figured they would handle it; just called the pharmacy and NOPE it was not called over.

Called the clinic AGAIN and was told that shucks, my PCP was also out today (so apparently they were just going to leave it at that???), but since I keep pestering them they'll see if a nurse can do it. Also they're closing in under two hours and also won't be open on Monday, lol (I had to ask about this, it wasn't volunteered).

So now I'm sitting here trying to get work done while also massively pissed off, feeling anxious about knowing when it's reasonable to call and push them AGAIN if they don't get back to me, and still very uncomfortable and why the fuck don't people just do their damn jobs arrrrgh.
posted by DingoMutt at 3:42 PM on February 12 [8 favorites]


During a social zoom call today, we all started having fun looking at our Uber/Lyft ride history to see the last time we used them, then the discussion got onto the topic of passenger ratings, where I found out to my disbelief that my Uber rating was a 4.67 which puts me firmly in the category of bad passenger.

I realize none of you know me IRL, but trust me, bad passengers do things like "slam doors, ask the driver questions that are entirely too personal, holler and scream, are dirty, make the driver wait longer than five minutes" etc. I do none of those things!

This is a complete nitpick because not only have I not used any rideshare for about a year now, but I stopped using Uber 3+ years ago in light of their horrible business practices, but that didn't stop me ranting for 5 minutes about the injustice of my subpar rating.
posted by jeremias at 3:49 PM on February 12 [6 favorites]


DingoMutt, call them back right now and tell them to confirm that the prescription has been called in, and that you will wait on hold so they can confirm this.
posted by phunniemee at 3:50 PM on February 12 [11 favorites]


Mass exodus
Veggies

IDK why but both of those set my teeth on edge. Mass exodus because it's so common, but also flies into the ATM machine category, where there's redundency.

Veggies *shudder* is just how child-like it seems to me? This one I know is very personal and not something I judge others on, but it reads to me like you're still asking your friends if they need to go potty or something. Vegetables or veg work fine!
posted by Carillon at 4:10 PM on February 12 [6 favorites]

I can see the brochure, now. "Welcome to the Republic of Fitlandia, Population: You!"
The Republic of Fitlandia is definitely an elaborate MLM scheme that recruits Instagram influencers to sell overpriced leggings and fancy protein powders. In five years, we will find out that the leggings are dyed with arsenic, the protein powder contains lead, and the owners are members of a cult. There will be a podcast called Journey From Fitlandia, featuring former Fitlandia sales people who had to go through treatment for arsenic and lead poisoning, as well as cult deprogramming.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 4:17 PM on February 12 [5 favorites]


Thank god. I need to get this off my chest.

Ok, now, anyone who knows me at all knows that I absolutely love and adore my wife Amy. We've been happily married now for over 23 years and while we both have those minor spousal annoyances that most couples probably have, we never fight or even really argue much. We're both pretty lucky.

But.

About twice, maybe three times, a year I need to put a piece of paper or a check into an envelope, put a stamp on said envelope, and slap a return address label on it.

This is the point where I acknowledge I am fully capable of stocking my own envelopes, stamps and return addresses in my own desk.

But I don't. Amy keeps those things in her desk because she tends to use them more than I do.

Now, with the way MY brain works, if I knew that every time I needed an envelope I would also need a stamp and a return label, I would keep them all in the same drawer. Open one drawer, take out the three things you need, you're done.

One drawer.

Amy's brain does not work like my brain works. It isn't any better or worse, it's just different.

I go to Amy's desk, I open one drawer to get an envelope.

I open another drawer, because that's where the stamps are.

I open a third drawer and I get myself a return address label.

Three drawers.

Not better, not worse. Just different.

Different.

GOOD GOD WHY DOES SHE KEEP THESE THREE THINGS IN THREE SEPARATE DRAWERS?

Early on in our marriage I may have tried to "fix" this sort of behavior. I eventually learned it doesn't need fixing. There is nothing to fix. While this sort of thing makes absolutely no sense to me, it make perfect sense to her. Somehow.

I mean, the fix for this is for me to buy my own stamps and envelopes, I get that.

Thank you all for hearing me out. I'm going to go make us both a cup of tea and then we're gonna watch Alone on Hulu. Unless I'm mailing a letter, she's pretty swell.

I will not be taking questions at this time.
posted by bondcliff at 4:28 PM on February 12 [34 favorites]


Okay, but we're telling the lovely Amy what to get you for your birthday.
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:31 PM on February 12 [11 favorites]


When people say eXpresso, it makes my ears itch. I mean, I'm not even Italian. Hell, I don't even drink espresso. Why this bugs me so much, I have no idea.

My dad leaves the water running in the kitchen sink full blast while he wipes the counters and table. There's no need. Ugh. I swear, I'm getting old.
posted by kathrynm at 4:37 PM on February 12 [9 favorites]


The crows, for whom I leave out peanuts almost (yeah, I know, but) everyday (and who pick them up shortly after they are put out - like within the hour at most) the crows still have not brought me jewels in return. I sincerely thought I would get jewels and so far - nothing.

It is, though, fascinating to step out of your city-life brain and check out the crows, up there on a different level, roof-top to balcony railing to tree branch. Down the middle of the street. Screaming at their friends, fighting, lying, etc. Watching them flounce around, living a different life is like a brief, perfect vacation.

Other peeve - words the NYTimes SpellingBee puzzle does not put on its list. Today's gripe - "nonage." Couple days ago - "dalit" It makes me fucking crazy and every time I write an email (the address is right there, of course I write an email) and get a stupid, empty, mushy-mouth reply that does nothing to assuage my ... peevitude.
posted by From Bklyn at 4:43 PM on February 12 [8 favorites]


Thanks, phunniemee - I ended up doing exactly that and happily it's all sorted. SO relieved!
posted by DingoMutt at 5:18 PM on February 12 [9 favorites]


Inputs. Learnings.

See also:

"We need to you help us communicate these new trainings we're doing."

"O.k. So are these training classes, training sessions, online training modules, or..."

"No. These are trainings."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:27 PM on February 12 [12 favorites]


Working various CS jobs over the years, it always inordinately annoyed me when I'd greet someone or ask a friendly question and get zero response, even from a co-worker.

while trying to sign into the VPN I am constantly interrupted by about half a dozen pop-ups from programs letting me know they don’t work because I’m not signed into the VPN yet


It seems we all work at the same company here!

Called the clinic AGAIN and was told that shucks, my PCP was also out today

And have the same doctor apparently.
posted by traveler_ at 5:35 PM on February 12 [2 favorites]


A person I have to email regularly for work writes almost the entirety of whatever message she’s trying to convey IN THE SUBJECT LINE. I click through to the message hoping to find whatever I need to find in the body and there’s next to nothing there. More often than not I am communicating with this person about patients being discharged from hospitals, so it leads to the effect where a new email in the chain can fool me into thinking a patient who’s now in transit or at their destination is still waiting for their discharge.

I’m so glad this thread exists, because those damn emails drive me bonkers every day.
posted by ActionPopulated at 5:48 PM on February 12 [6 favorites]


Why oh why during a zoom\MS Teams or whatever meeting, do the same people start off every one of their conversations with '....oh, sorry, I was on mute..' YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MUTE WHEN YOU'RE NOT TALKING, AND THEN WHEN YOU WANT TO TALK, YOU UNMUTE YOURSELF AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL US THAT YOU JUST DID!!!!
And if you do start to talk without umuting, just unmute and start again!
Sorry for shouting, but that is what you would hear me shout about 20 times a day.
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 5:55 PM on February 12 [9 favorites]


I will not be taking questions at this time.

Just a comment then. My envelopes are across the room from my stamps. TEAM AMY (for this one)
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 6:00 PM on February 12 [9 favorites]


Other peeve - words the NYTimes SpellingBee puzzle does not put on its list.

That's a peeve of mine too. It accepts all kinds of obscure currencies and foods but doesn't accept bole or linnet! Or atlatl, which is maybe uncommon enough that it makes sense to leave it off, but it's one of those words that shows up a lot and it always bugs me that I can't use it.
posted by Redstart at 6:02 PM on February 12 [3 favorites]



Veggies *shudder* is just how child-like it seems to me? This one I know is very personal and not something I judge others on, but it reads to me like you're still asking your friends if they need to go potty or something. Vegetables or veg work fine!


While we're on terms that cause us to grind our teeth until they crack, I am in a field where TOO DAMN MANY people seem to feel compelled to refer to kids as "kiddoes," and omg I hate it so much. These are grown-ass professional people and if for some reason "kids" seems too - what, blunt? Informal? - there are plenty of other words for the people we work with. Students! Learners! Child or children! These are just a few of the applicable words that are NOT "kiddoes"!

Stooooop with the kiddos, please...
posted by DingoMutt at 6:24 PM on February 12 [6 favorites]


Hell yeah bole, linnet, there was a long one today. But dalit, should be capitalized, since it is a caste of people, and words that begin with upper caste, I mean upper case, letters are not appropriate for the puzzle. You can bet that Brahmin is always upper case. I use a lot of archaic words, and archaic usages. The puzzle does not like these, it wants to be hip, but not too hip. I quit emailing.
posted by Oyéah at 6:42 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]


I open another drawer, because that's where the stamps are.

Of course. I keep the stamps where there are a bunch of spare USB drives, a guitar capo that I haven't used since I got one of those Shubb ones a few years back, a pencil I've never sharpened, and other assorted bits and bobs. This makes absolute sense as an organizing principle.

Photo of said drawer.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:45 PM on February 12 [11 favorites]


I could not go to my step mom's burial in another state, because I had a covid exposure, and I was not going to risk them. Then I have to hear that one of the step sisters had covid with visiting with her sister, and mom who passed, on the day of. Then I have to hear the details of the event I missed, and my covid denier brother describes hugging people and holding their breath, (we were wearing masks!) The luncheon was cancelled, but still we went to the house and gathered. This drove me nuts to hear. 50% of those in attendance are terribly at risk for the ravages of covid.
posted by Oyéah at 6:45 PM on February 12 [8 favorites]


"Roadmap". No. It's two words -- "road map". And the figurative use is a cliche. Try plain old "plan".
posted by NotLost at 6:54 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]


We keep our stamps in the veggie drawer.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:55 PM on February 12 [16 favorites]


My envelopes are in a file cabinet upstairs.
My stamps are in a drawer downstairs.
It is what it is.
posted by bookmammal at 6:58 PM on February 12 [5 favorites]


Stamps are in the checkbook behind that plastic bit where you're supposed to put the ledger that you never use anyways.
posted by zengargoyle at 6:58 PM on February 12 [3 favorites]


ehehehe we came within a hair's breadth of publishing a book with a "FOREWARD" after several of us continually asked the people responsible to make the revision. I nearly left the damn thing in out of sheer spite.

This sort of past tense irksome, but my longtime employer fifteen years ago was about to publish a map showing the locations of all of our facilities. For reasons there were quite a few in one geographic locale. It was my job to review the draft versions and offer feedback.

I had to fight with the (outside) graphic designer regularly to put the icons on the map in the right location despite the clustering effect and not, you know, relocate the city two hours' drive away just because there was more blank space available there.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:02 PM on February 12 [9 favorites]


Stooooop with the kiddos, please...

...and the doggoes, while were at it. The felines, meanwhile, stay cool -- nobody's calling them cat-oes. Cat-toes? Can't even say it.
posted by Rash at 7:05 PM on February 12 [6 favorites]


Cat-toes? Can't even say it.

Cat toes are formally known as "beans."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:09 PM on February 12 [8 favorites]


Food and beverage packaging that makes me think that no one who creates that product could ever eat/drink it or they'd surely fix it. Don't they realize they sell two things, the product and the container for that product? Like the Polar soda can tab that cuts my finger unless I open it with a paper towel in between, or the Trader Joe's (most excellent) chocolate pudding with the plastic liner that I can't open without a knife, or the mustard squeeze bottle that squirts vinegary dribbles that sog the bread before ever getting any mustard out, etc. etc.

(And rah rah Spelling Bee folks! More missing words: anole (today), bolete, and SO many more that I can't think of now that there's this chance to vent about them!)
posted by daisyace at 7:11 PM on February 12 [5 favorites]


I’m going to stab something the next time someone at work says “reach out” when they mean “contact” or “ask.” It’s just an email containing a scheduling question, not a condolence card for the family of a murder victim.
posted by corey flood at 7:14 PM on February 12 [21 favorites]


That's a peeve of mine too. It accepts all kinds of obscure currencies and foods but doesn't accept bole or linnet! Or atlatl, which is maybe uncommon enough that it makes sense to leave it off, but it's one of those words that shows up a lot and it always bugs me that I can't use it.

The lack of "atlatl" in their dictionary makes me unreasonably angry. I mean, I have read articles about atlatls in their own stupid newspaper, it's not like they don't know it is a word. The overall whitebread-ness of their dictionary irritates me, too -- it's great that they include "naan" and "taco," but not "idli," "torta," or any of a gazillion other perfectly normal words?

Ahem. Clearly this is a subject that I was more sensitive about than I had realized.

Theoretically I'd be in favor of keeping envelopes and stamps together, but in practice I keep them across the room (with the stamps tucked away in a place no one would ever think to look).
posted by Dip Flash at 7:23 PM on February 12 [4 favorites]


We keep our stamps in the veggie drawer.

We keep our medication in the silverware drawer.
posted by bondcliff at 7:57 PM on February 12 [4 favorites]


Gripe 1: I have a Very Particular Yogurt that I like in a Very Particular Flavor. This variety happens to be stacked three high on the top shelf, ears-to-elbows with other, less tasty yogurts. I have not yet managed once to get my yogurts down without causing a civilizational collapse of the adjoining varieties.

Gripe 2: A variation on the mask thing. People who don't wear their masks while interacting with employees at a drive-thru: just you wait until I learn to channel my rising blood pressure into my eyeball lasers, you all are so fucking toast.

Gripe 3: Dolly Parton re-recorded 9 to 5 as 5 to 9. Bad. A Nina Simone song used in a commercial for some fitness brand. BAD.
posted by snerson at 8:09 PM on February 12 [5 favorites]


I'm sorry young apartment neighbors but were you raised by wolves since you can't break down a box or empty a lint trap?
posted by soakimbo at 8:47 PM on February 12 [10 favorites]


My bosses current plan that my group CC her on all emails “to improve communication” has done wonders for the rest of the group communicating via methods that aren’t email. Now she’s even more out of the loop and I’m spending more time on the phone, no one is winning here!
posted by lepus at 9:02 PM on February 12 [7 favorites]


Outlook has recently, for some reason, decided it needs to automatically capitalize the next word after I paste a string of numbers into an email. This is annoying because there is no reason for it to think that I meant to start a new sentence. I send like 20 emails a day into which I've pasted a string of numbers, quickly typed the next few words and then caught the auto-correction out of the corner of my eye and have to go back and change it. Grrr.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 9:26 PM on February 12 [5 favorites]


"Roadmap". No. It's two words -- "road map".

A lot of paired-up words gradually get pulled together. If you read any major newspaper archives at a few points over the last thirty years, you can often find an evolution from "Web site" to "web-site" to "website."

I'm more concerned with people who have never noticed that when phrasal verbs become nouns or voce versa, they are separate when they are verbs but one word (possibly hyphenated) as nouns. You might be laid off in a layoff; you realize you can pick up things in your pickup; you turn to crime and use your truck to get away as you make a daring getaway; but you are caught and get locked up in the lockup after you line up for the lineup. It's about the easiest thing in the world to remember, but somehow few trouble to do so.

Outside of grammatical persnickitiness, I despair of an inexplicable tendency in news stories to refuse to identify who is shown in a photo. Sure, many people recognize HRH the Queen or the Pope, but almost every time I read local news, I find stories running with some rando in the accompanying photo. If it is about a woman who is opening a new kind of intriguing business and there is a photo of a woman, we can guess this is her, but more often I see that one John Doe, 36, is sought by the police for aggravated assault against his neighbour Richard Roe, 31. The alleged assault was witnessed by John Stiles, 38, and Richard Miles, 33, who are interviewed in the article. Accompanying the piece is a photo of a thirtysomething man. Fugitive? Victim? Witness? Who's to say?

This might seem trivial*. Still, a year or two ago a high school bullying incident in my old hometown went very bad indeed and resulted in a teenager knifed to death by his bully in front of the school. I have read three or four stories about the trial, and more than once people have commented on the accompanying photo: "He's obviously guilty -- just look at him," and, "He's got the eyes of a killer. I hope he gets killed in prison" Invariably they are commenting on a photo of the young man who was stabbed to death. That must be great for his bereaved family to read all the time.

*Of course, this is our theme today.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:44 PM on February 12 [8 favorites]


If you open it, close it.
If you turn it on, turn it off.
If you take it out, put it back (in the same place).
If you borrow it, return it.
If you don't know how to use it, don't use it or ask someone who knows.
If you make an appointment, show up on time.
If you break it, fix it or replace it.
If it is garbage, throw it away.
If you can put it in the sink, you can put it in the dishwasher.
If the garbage is full, take it out.
Do not leave one sip or one piece or one item in a container because you are too lazy to have to clean the container or replace the item.
If the washing machine has finished its cycles, move the clothes to the dryer. If the dryer is finished, fold the clothes. Then put them away.
posted by AugustWest at 11:18 PM on February 12 [16 favorites]


I am old and fat.

My bones hurt.

I have bones.

I'm not a mossy rock or large old growth tree.
posted by loquacious at 11:45 PM on February 12 [12 favorites]


I’m picturing Amy taking joy in opening lots of tiny drawers in preparation to send off letters on their postal journeys.

I would pretend I was a banker in front of my fancy labelled cabinet. Cheap thrills!

(So right about journeys—going to banish this word from my marketing materials asap! I think we’ve all been obsessed with narratives and heroes, but the novelty has worn off.)
posted by iamkimiam at 12:54 AM on February 13 [2 favorites]


I have an unreasonable amount of anger to the lock to every front door ever to where I live. All of them over my entire lifespan. Seriously. There is something about the getting home and having to find my keys and turn the lock that is a massive amount of effort and make me irrationally angry that it is in fact keeping me from my blessed living space where I want to be.

How dare it.
posted by AlexiaSky at 1:39 AM on February 13 [5 favorites]


My darling child has taken to crocodile rolling the instant she is placed on the change table. She does not exhibit this behaviour for her father. I'm the one who is home all day with her.

The button for gifs, emojis and other frivolities is right next to the comma on the keyboard on my phone, and I keep getting the frivolities one, and I have to get out of it to get back to typing.

Our neighbours have new lights! We can tell because we don't need any night lights when they are on. Our whole house is lit up. (Going to drop in a friendly note, I think.)
posted by freethefeet at 3:27 AM on February 13 [5 favorites]


My boyfriend just laughed at me for using an immersion blender in lentil soup

That's what I use. I am baffled by his laughter. Why would that prompt derision or teasing?

Anyway, two complaints. One involving lights and the other an elevator. There are three storage rooms, one on each floor of my building where each tenant has an assigned wire enclosure with a door to store stuff if we choose. Some 90% of the time when I check, the lights are on. This drives me nuts because the lights may have been on for days, I have grandchildren, climate change, yadda yadda and the management company has ignored my lobbying for this to be fixed with an auto-off system or something.

The building elevator has become a bane of my existence. So frustrating! Yesterday was hard for a variety of reasons and so I was excited to see, when I got home, that the elevator had been repaired after being out of service for several days. I live on the top floor, which is the third floor, and I can get to it via a metal spiral staircase which is not usually a big deal. But I was tired from chasing oppositional grandkids and wearing a heavy backpack so a repaired elevator was good news. Got into the elevator and waited for the door to close. It never did. Hit the button for my floor. Still no progress. So I trudged slowly up the stairs, let myself into my tiny apartment, then took off my backpack and sank into a chair for a bit of a small, emotional meltdown.

I have called the elevator repair company (as instructed to by the building management firm) four times in 2021. Recently the elevator was out of service for 9 days. I'm an oldster; dragging laundry up and down those stairs is a no-go for me. Also, my grandkids visit; one of them is young enough that we can take the stairs together but it's kind of harrowing because spiral stairs are easier to fall down courtesy of the itsy-bitsy edge on one side.

After I fed myself and calmed down, I filed a long, well-documented complaint online with the management company (the automatic form told me that since it was a complaint about the elevator to call the repair firm and I was just like, no, fuckers, I think not) that included screens of my calls to the repair company, photos of different notes on the elevator saying parts had been ordered, etc.

I cannot believe that the repair firm is sending out folks who know what they are doing. The last time it got repaired (truly repaired, unlike the false alarm yesterday), a wire was left sticking out of the bottom of the panel for the summon-elevator button on the top floor. Like, how could that be okay?

Also, am super annoyed lately by how my brain works but that is nothing new.
posted by Bella Donna at 3:38 AM on February 13 [5 favorites]


"Roadmap". No. It's two words -- "road map"

That drives me nuts... As well - it is actually, completely incorrect when used in current business fashion.

A road map displays all the places you could possibly go - and how to get there.

A route is your plan.
posted by rozcakj at 4:57 AM on February 13 [5 favorites]


My boyfriend just laughed at me for using an immersion blender in lentil soup
That's what I use


Never refer to it as an "immersion blender" - instead call it a "boat motor" and then they will always want to be the one doing the blending - uh, motoring...
posted by rozcakj at 5:05 AM on February 13 [11 favorites]


Sometime in the last couple of months, Outlook has started highlighting misspelled words in a pinkish/orange-ish color, and to fix, you left-click. Meanwhile, good old Word still uses a red squiggly underline, and you have to right-click. Wtaf, Microsoft?
posted by SuperSquirrel at 5:53 AM on February 13 [8 favorites]


I am so so so annoyed every morning that I have to go to work because the stupid mask means my glasses ALWAYS fog up. I park as close to the building as I possibly can but it doesn't matter; the instant I put the mask on and get out of the car, fog. I have to cross a street and I can't see if cars are coming, and when I get into the building the glasses fog up even worse so I just take the damn things off and walk through the long blurry blurry hallway to get to my office and people pass me and say good morning and I mostly have no idea who they are -- do I actually know you or are you just one of those nice people who says good morning to everybody? So it's like 4 minutes of annoyance and frustration to start each work day. I know I am extremely fortunate to have a secure job in these awful times, but sheez if I wanted to be annoyed every single morning going to work I'd go back to northern VA and commute on I-66.

The thing that made me snap yesterday, though, was my poor kitty Sadie -- she is prone to hairballs, which means she's prone to throwing up, which is fine, she can't help it, but yesterday she had to go and stick her head INSIDE her cat tunnel and puke there, and I was just NO, I am not cleaning that up, I will throw it away and the next time I go to PetSmart I will buy you a new tunnel Sadie. I felt a little bad about the waste but I just couldn't cope with cleaning puke out of a cat tunnel. I guess we all have lines we don't cross.
posted by JanetLand at 6:30 AM on February 13 [8 favorites]


I love pets. I love pictures of people’s pets. I follow various pets on Twitter.

But I CANNOT STAND Twitter comments that use baby talk as the voice of the pet. I nope right out of those. It is just so annoying to me and too much work to figure out what the person is making their pet say.

But really, I do love pets. If I met your pets I’m sure I would love them!
posted by bookmammal at 6:41 AM on February 13 [10 favorites]


When I'm forced to call an institution because I can't do what I need to online, and their hold message suggests every two minutes that I could just visit their website.

When people send emails using TO: or CC: when they should be using BCC:. And then their recipients use Reply All.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 7:01 AM on February 13 [11 favorites]


I despise when people say "orientate" when the word they are looking for is orient.

You orient yourself. You get oriented. You do not "orientate."

I sometimes offer to "presentate" a list of reasons to "justificate" why "orientate" is not a word.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:11 AM on February 13 [17 favorites]


Our work email doesn’t allow BCCs and it results in a ton of inappropriate reply-alls. Email clients should have some sort of alert when you try to reply all to more than a handful of people, asking basically “are you sure all 75 of these people need your reply, or does LITERALLY ONLY ONE PERSON CARE?”
posted by obfuscation at 7:12 AM on February 13 [5 favorites]


Men who use below-nose masks to intimidate me out of their way.

I am losing my monkeyshit over this.
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:28 AM on February 13 [13 favorites]


"pour over"

"tow the line"
posted by soundguy99 at 7:42 AM on February 13 [12 favorites]


I agree about the ‘veggies’. To me it sounds like the speaker is claiming to be really big pals with the vegetables, but can’t actually remember any of their names.
posted by Phanx at 7:51 AM on February 13 [8 favorites]


One of the roads leading out of the village where I live floods regularly during winter, to the point of closure. There are signs along this road that state "road liable to flooding". I have a deep internal sense that "liable to" should be followed by the root verb form, whereas "prone to" should be followed by the gerund (example: I am liable to lose my shit [rather than "liable to losing my shit"] when people word road signs poorly).

If they'd said "prone to flooding" on the signs, all would be good! If they'd said "liable to flood", also all good! But they chose a combination that just chimes wrong in my brain every time I see it, which is all the time since it's on the road to my house. I've mentioned this to coworkers before and it's a really good way of triggering "the look" where they realise for the first time that I might not be exactly neurotypical.

Talking of road signs, I also hate it when the variable message signs on smart motorways in the UK say "use hardshoulder". There is very clearly enough character space to write "hard shoulder" out as the two words that it actually is instead of bodging it into one for no good reason.

While we're on road ire, I also hate it as a motorist in a roundabout-heavy country when people don't use their fucking indicators on the roundabout (either at all, or specifically to signal that they're going to leave the roundabout at the next exit). I waste entire seconds of my life sitting waiting to enter the roundabout just because the fool who was already on the roundabout before me chose not to signal that they were leaving at the exit just before my entrance.

I can't just pull out anyway on the off-chance that their non-signal is actually correct and they're about to pass my entrance (which would mean me cutting them up at best, and driving into the side of them at worse). The look on their faces of utter lack of recognition that they've inconvenienced someone else on the rare occasions when I gesticulate or verbalise my frustration is the cherry on the turd sundae. I know that for some drivers indicator usage has never been in fashion, but I'm just utterly baffled that in a medium where you have so few communication mechanisms with other drivers, you'd chose to eschew one of the ones that's actually available and reasonably effective.

One last one on driving: I live in an area with a lot of high-speed-limit roads that temporarily become low-speed-limit roads when you pass through a town or village (usually 60mph in between towns but sometimes 40 or 50; 30mph while driving through them). A subset of drivers seemingly only ever want to drive at 40mph, whether that's 10 over the limit or 20 under it. I also get tailgated by people in the slow sections who want to go faster than 30 in the 30 zone but seem surprised that someone who actually wants to drive at 30 in the 30 zone also wants to drive at 60 in the 60 zone. I tend to leave them in the dust when I immediately speed right up from 30 to 60 as soon as the sign changes.

I've long been tempted to get some kind of bumper sticker that says "the driver in front of you is autistic, and is thus actually following the numbers on the signs exactly" except I don't need that kind of advertising in my life. The fact that this kind of driving behaviour seems surprising to other drivers also makes me weep for the average adult's pattern-matching skills, because I know that if I were driving behind me I'd have clocked my driving methodology after two or three speed limit changes. And the idea that so many people see those numbers as guidelines or suggestions (or indeed don't even see them), rather than something to be adhered to pretty strictly, blows my mind.
posted by terretu at 7:57 AM on February 13 [8 favorites]


When the fuck did everything become a journey?

Hahaha yes. Anything that makes what you are going through sound purposeful or like you have control. I'm not on a journey. I am going over the falls in a barrel.
posted by BibiRose at 8:16 AM on February 13 [17 favorites]


My mother like to use, frequently, the phrase, "Six of one, half a dozen of the other." That's fine. Except what she actually says is, "Six and one half dozen of the other."

That's just a dozen of the other...

I suffer an inordinate amount of mental anguish every time I hear it.
posted by Mister_Sleight_of_Hand at 9:45 AM on February 13 [13 favorites]


Masks below the nose.

It's not just that it's wrong but as a hospital employee, it looks WRONG like someone hung the toilet paper wrong side up. It just grates on my eyes.

Feeling really cranky recently, thanks for this thread!
posted by M. at 10:45 AM on February 13 [4 favorites]


So, this is entirely my own fault, because I was cheap.

Poor House the Trilogy had been converted in part to a rental back in the 1980s. While the subsequent owners did a good job of fixing up its structural issues, not all of the cosmetics were and are, um, up to par.

My kitchen, which probably started life as the butler's pantry, has a staircase right behind it that goes up to one of the servant's rooms. That room is now just an unheated storage area, but I had it drywalled and insulated. What I did not do was drywall and insulate the stairwell, which is lath and plaster. With holes in it. "Nobody is going to see this," I said. "It's inside the house," I said.

This is now winter #2, and I have discovered, to my great dismay, that there was a good reason to drywall and insulate the stairwell--because the air in there currently registers 45 F. This means that my kitchen, which has one small radiator (it started off with no heat at all), never gets above 60 degrees in the winter. Walking past that wall leads to immediate COLD ICY BLASTS OF ARCTIC CHILL. This does not encourage, say, cooking. I become deeply annoyed every time I go in there. With myself.
posted by thomas j wise at 11:40 AM on February 13 [7 favorites]


My pandemic-era pet peeve is when I am carefully socially distancing at a store and someone randomly causes a bottleneck that causes me to have like a half dozen people within my personal space.

Damn, lady, maybe don't stop to tie your shoes while you're in the narrow space between the entry doors and the carts. People are still coming in behind me and now we're all piled up, breathing each other's air and stuff because you couldn't take two extra steps forward to work on your double knot.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:50 AM on February 13 [6 favorites]

When the fuck did everything become a journey?

Hahaha yes. Anything that makes what you are going through sound purposeful or like you have control. I'm not on a journey. I am going over the falls in a barrel.
Where are we going and what am I doing in this handbasket?

I have overcome my annoyance at the fact that only I know the correct way to load the dishwasher; I just move the dishes. I have given up on ever getting over it's & its.
posted by kingless at 11:57 AM on February 13 [5 favorites]


I'm so annoyed by the weather in the Chicagoland area lately. Extremely cold (oh hey, another wind chill warning for the entire weekend!) and snow basically every day (I'm about to go out and shovel. Again.) I could do either, but it's been both for about 2 straight weeks now with no change in the forecast.

I have a little area in my backyard , part of the pathway from my back door to where I store the trash cans , that goes down a very slight hill. The lawn, over time, has grown up and is now higher than the sidewalk in that area, so any time it rains there is a large area (probably about 4' by 3' ?) that gets a few inches of standing water (or mini skating rink this time of year) that is unavoidable to step in when I want to take out the garbage. It's so damn annoying, but it would cost thousands to get the yard re-leveled.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 12:03 PM on February 13 [6 favorites]


Oh, and I am lucky enough to be in Covid Vaccination group 1B, but trying to get an appointment is ridiculously frustrating. It's like you have to talk to others to know where to look, when to try to book an appointment, and what special phrases to say in order to maybe find an open spot. I had a few promising leads completely fall through this week, and along with some other life stuff it threw me into a deep spiral (journey??) of anxiety and depression, and I went from being happy about seeing others get their shots to being bitter and self-pitying, and I'm mad at myself for it. Bah. Logically I know that I'm priviledged, and it'll just be a few more weeks, months at most, but my lizard brain is very loudly screaming "why not meeeee". Annoying af. (Also shout out to the boyfriend, who has been so patient with dealing with me this week, he is a saint.)
posted by Sparky Buttons at 12:10 PM on February 13 [9 favorites]


One of the things that sends me up the wall in recent years is people replacing every instance of (e.g.) "contact", "get in touch with", "call", etc., with "reach out (to)". It's one of the reasons I stopped watching Elementary...it kept popping up in almost every episode.

While I'm here, something that's even more maddening is people overcorrecting and saying things like "X and I" where it should be "X and me". That's one of the reasons I stopped watching Black Sails. Even pirates should know better.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:25 PM on February 13 [6 favorites]


But I CANNOT STAND Twitter comments that use baby talk as the voice of the pet. I nope right out of those. It is just so annoying to me and too much work to figure out what the person is making their pet say.

So with you here. The one that totally sets my teeth on edge is “hooman.” It doesn’t even make sense as baby talk.
posted by holborne at 12:33 PM on February 13 [6 favorites]


The other day, my workplace put out a public piece of writing with “plead” used as the past tense of “to plead.” I give up.

Within, like, the past year I’ve noticed a MASSIVE uptick in people not bothering to use the past tense of verbs. I guess during quarantine we’ve lost all sense of time or something.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:57 PM on February 13 [4 favorites]


I've watched more Star Trek during lockdown than I expected, and there's definitely a point where telling the story about the macguffin is too onerous for the writers so they cause the characters to say "Drah-ma because ... we don't have a choice."

I'm sorry if I've Bader-Meinhof'd that for you, but this lazy writing has caused me to grind my teeth.
posted by k3ninho at 12:58 PM on February 13 [1 favorite]


Also within the last year I’ve noticed people starting to say “based off” when they mean “based on.” When and how did this start, and why don’t people seem to notice that saying the exact opposite of what you mean doesn’t make any sense?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:59 PM on February 13 [6 favorites]


While I'm here, something that's even more maddening is people overcorrecting and saying things like "X and I" where it should be "X and me". That's one of the reasons I stopped watching Black Sails. Even pirates should know better.

Or people opting out of “I” and “me” altogether and saying “X and myself.” Any pronoun in a storm, I guess.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:01 PM on February 13 [4 favorites]


Mine is what people call the federal holiday on Monday versus what it's real name is.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 1:01 PM on February 13 [1 favorite]


Hello... trees? Okay, we get it: you're horny. Please keep your pollen in your pants, okay? Some of us are already having a hard enough time breathing over here.

I may have told this story here before.

I went to get the results of my allergy tests. The doctor, reading the report, said, “...dust ...mold ...oh, and trees.”

“Trees?” I said. “What, all trees?”

“Oh, no, no. Of course not. Not all trees.”

“Well, that’s a relief.”

“Just all the trees that grow in this part of the country.”
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:20 PM on February 13 [17 favorites]


All right. I have carefully studied all of your minor annoyances and believe that I have the most objectively annoying minor annoyance. Every time my partner sniffs, itself an annoying event that happens often now due to his refusal to consult with an ENT, the dog EXPLODES into a fit of barking and insane leaping around and cannot calm down unless he's physically restrained. WHY.

Also, I share your rage at the dicknosers. I think the pandemic has permanently altered my view of what was already not the most appealing part of human anatomy. Put that thing away, there are ladies and children present.
posted by HotToddy at 1:51 PM on February 13 [12 favorites]


“Just all the trees that grow in this part of the country.”

I was lucky. Growing up, I was highly allergic to whichever trees are doing the nasty in Ohio in May-June. Those trees apparently don't grow here in Illinois, and I've been happily nearly allergy-free ever since moving here 20 years ago. If I schedule my yearly trip to Ohio at the wrong time of year, the allergies hit me in the face like a sledgehammer practically the second I cross over the Indiana-Ohio border.

On a side note, I just Googled sledgehammer to find out if it's supposed to be one word or two so I don't end up in someone's pet peeve further down.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:54 PM on February 13 [6 favorites]


HotToddy the dog my husband had when we met did the same when my husband sneezed! But only my husband, very odd. Other sneezes were fine. It’s been several years since that pup passed, but I still gear up to be irritated every time my husband sneezes. (Our current dogs have their own annoying charms but that is not one of them, fortunately.)
posted by obfuscation at 1:56 PM on February 13


Within, like, the past year I’ve noticed a MASSIVE uptick in people not bothering to use the past tense of verbs. I guess during quarantine we’ve lost all sense of time or something.

I think in the sense of the past tense of to plead, it is a side effect of the shift that seems to have happened on the last decade or two with the past tense of to lead. I recall little doubt in my childhood from anyone about the past tense being led, but through cross-contamination with to read (and the existence of the metal lead, somehow led as a past tense has been shunted aside for lead (pronounced like the metal).
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:11 PM on February 13 [5 favorites]


OK, another language-related pet peeve, and I’m sure not a lot of people share this one as fewer and fewer of us spend our primary school years being required to memorize big chunks of the King James Bible.

It drives me crazy when people try to imitate “old timey English” and just randomly tack -est and -eth to the end of every verb regardless of form, case, or tense.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 2:29 PM on February 13 [9 favorites]


"pour over"

Geez, it's a perfectly normal method of making coffee!
j/k, that bugs me too
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:50 PM on February 13 [5 favorites]


obfuscation, yes, he does it when he sneezes too, but I can forgive him for that because the sneezes are genuinely loud and startling. But the sniffing, goddamn. And yeah, my sneezing and sniffling passes without remark, although I do notice that I have trained myself to sneeze in a way that sounds more like a cough than a sneeze. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if I had never had dogs. I’m sure my habits have been warped by them in ways I can no longer see.
posted by HotToddy at 2:52 PM on February 13 [3 favorites]


I have so many.

The text at the top of my partner's toothpaste tube that says something like "protects against the areas dentists check most" There are so many possibilities for this sentence, but this suggests that the areas are going to hurt me....and I suspect that was not the intention. (my own toothpaste is prescription stuff, and that's an annoyance for another day)

The new dishwasher in this apartment that looks enormous but handles fewer dishes than the mini version we had at the old place.

The two sprained ligaments in my ankle, plus however many bones I bruised and the walking boot I still have to wear outdoors.

The toast sits just a bit too low in the toaster to easily get out, so I keep a plastic knife next to the toaster. Because my use of a regular utensil to fish around in an appliance makes my partner (rightly) nervous

I need to go to the post office and get a package on the way that should have left here Two Months Ago. I am feeling considerable shame about this. What is stopping me? I need to make sure the package is sturdy enough for its international journey. Also my attempts to get one of the things for the package have shown that things to be apparently made of unobtainium.
posted by bilabial at 2:56 PM on February 13 [6 favorites]


Oh, and my yearly annoyance at the trees and pollen situation. Do you know why there's so much pollen? Municipalities decided they didn't want to deal with fruit splat and animal poop, so they chose to install the male trees rather than the female trees.

Side effect - allergies!
Other side effect - fewer people have access to fresh fruit than could be the case!
Third side effect - what the fuck are they doing with all the female trees?
posted by bilabial at 3:03 PM on February 13 [3 favorites]


It drives me crazy when people try to imitate “old timey English” and just randomly tack -est and -eth to the end of every verb regardless of form, case, or tense.

I know. I speak, thou speakest, he or she speaketh. I may be overestimating how easy this is, but... isn't this really easy?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:24 PM on February 13 [4 favorites]


My sweetie wore out a heavy flannel shirt. That's not the minor annoyance, he'd had it for ever!

I ordered him another one, just the same. It arrived on time! But the sizes have changed, so he wore out a L that fit but now needs a M. That's not the annoyance, it's been so long that I should have checked. And it came with a return label, so back it went through UPS...

six weeks ago. No record of the return. In fact, no record of my having made an account to track the order in the first place. Well, we should have been fussier to get a receipt from UPS, but did we want to spend the extra time in the office? No. A gamble, lost. Not the annoyance.

The annoyance is that they keep sending me email to the "not on record" email address asking me to review the shirt that's lost in transit.
posted by clew at 4:13 PM on February 13 [2 favorites]


The toast sits just a bit too low in the toaster to easily get out, so I keep a plastic knife next to the toaster. Because my use of a regular utensil to fish around in an appliance makes my partner (rightly) nervous

I have long wanted to Ask about this but never remember when I'm on a device. Is this an old wive's tale? Or could I actually electrocute myself fishing out my toast with a metal knife?
posted by HotToddy at 4:24 PM on February 13


I don't know if you can get electrocuted, but it definitely can break the toaster. I used to have this great old chrome toaster, until my (otherwise lovely) guy was tipsy and annoyed that the little end piece of bread had fallen down into the toaster, so he tried to fish it out with a steakknife. At least he wasn't hurt, because it had a plastic handle, but there was a flash and a bang and the toaster was dead. Shopping for a new toaster was infuriating!! the old one was small, sleek, had chrome sides and black bakelite ends. Nowadays, toasters all boast of stupid things like "coolsides technology" which means that they make it about twice as big as it needs to be, just in case you can't wrap your fool head around the concept that an item designed to heat bread might get warm to the touch. Luckily he found me a nice compact 80's toaster that matches my kitchen, and got me a pair of silicon-tipped tongs for grabbing the toast to ensure this mishap will not occur again, so I suppose he's forgiven.
Apparently my pet peeves revolve around toast.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:40 PM on February 13 [10 favorites]


the battery in the burglar alarm in the motion detector ran low, so the panel started to beep a few weeks back. I discovered you can turn the beeps off, and — huzzah! — the annoyance stopped. But then the motion detector battery ran out completely, which as started a new and unstoppable set of beeps. Since we're not going out, we don't need to set the alarm, but damn! does it want us to change that battery.

Got a wooden-topped Ikea desk for working at home: Arkelstorp. it's quite nice, but was basically all that the (closed) Ikea stores in Ontario have. Turns out I'm allergic to the wood finish and it brought me out in huge hives (a new thing for me). It's too big to move out of my upstairs office, and I don't want to have Ikea folks in the house to remove it.

Also, not a minor thing, but it looks like my work at the assistive tech charity didn't get its sustaining grant this year. I am being let go at the end of March. Getting a job I like usually takes me a couple of years when there's not a pandemic on. This is all I fucking need.
posted by scruss at 5:07 PM on February 13 [2 favorites]


when people try to imitate “old timey English” and just randomly tack -est and -eth to the end of every verb

I try not to brag about it much, but I have a BA in theatre, an MFA in Shakespearean staging and performance, and an MPhil in literary and linguistic computing with a focus on Early Modern playwrights. You can therefore imagine how incandescent with rage this kind of thing gets me.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:12 PM on February 13 [13 favorites]


When the fuck did everything become a journey?

I have an acquaintance from college that I follow on Instagram and every post she makes is about how everything is "magical" and her children are on "an adventure" and look I get that things are hard right now and we all need to keep our spirits up but your kids are literally throwing rocks in the ocean, this is not going to be something that they reflect back on in twenty years except maybe to wonder why their mom was so obsessed with taking selfies with them in the background.

Anyway.

My personal annoyance, now that it is winter, is that our neighbors seem to take our condo agreement way too literally. The condo association is just us and the upstairs unit; we share a front porch (two separate entry doors) and the condo docs say that the left hand side of the porch is their and the right hand side is ours. What this means in practice is that when it snows and I don't get out there with the shovel first, our upstairs neighbors will only clear "their" half of the steps up to the porch. It is absolutely mystifying to me, because they know that I shovel everything including the entire porch right up to their door, but they don't seem to want to reciprocate. And if I'm busy or out of town and they shovel first, then everyone just walks up "their" side of the steps to get to either of our doors. It's incredibly stupid and I wish they would just take the extra thirty seconds to clear the whole staircase.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:57 PM on February 13 [12 favorites]


For some reason it bums me out so much when people write “coco” when they mean “cocoa.” Mmm, hot coco. NO.
posted by Tuba Toothpaste at 6:11 PM on February 13 [7 favorites]


I saw a post on social media that tipped me over the edge. I try not to correct people online (anymore, sigh younger me was obnoxious) and so I made a post explaining that when we are talking about not being able to go interstate, the borders are closed, not the boarders. I tried hard to make it unsnarky and educational.

My sister messaged. Apparently the post I saw was right next to my post in her feed, and it could be seen as insensitive. I thought Facebook jumbled up everyone's feeds. But I hid the post, and wondering if I'm the butthole?

But yes. "The boarders are closed" "we made it over the boarder" arrrrghhhh.
posted by freethefeet at 6:22 PM on February 13 [2 favorites]


I keep stamps in three places, and I virtually never mail anything, even though I have 400 envelopes, business style, because at the time of my mother's death she had just bought a box of 500 envelopes. My friends and I are discussing starting up old fashioned letter writing. Yeah, but apparently my arms are painted on, or just have become robotic typing puppets. To write letters I have to get stationary, then I have to type the letters first then copy them, so I can edit and not get all over the landscape with these oh so precious letters. so I am just in the thinking about it phase, same as my friends, apparently, since I have not received any letters yet. But to be clear, I am the only one that has mailed anything at all, to one of these friends, and it was a letter. I thought it was pretty pathetic, which is why I want to type them out at first and copy, so they are grandiose, because thinking and writing is just too much. I think I can type without thinking, maybe I have a proxy in here...
posted by Oyéah at 6:49 PM on February 13 [5 favorites]


I generally embrace the evolution of language and descriptivism, but the verbing of “gift” peeves me a bit every time. “Give” isn’t good enough? Are you trying to emphasize that you don’t *need* to be given things, that it’s purely because you’re special? Clearly, I think about this uncharitably and too often.
posted by momus_window at 6:52 PM on February 13 [6 favorites]


And then there’s the “verbing” of “verb” ;-)
posted by obfuscation at 6:58 PM on February 13 [2 favorites]


I was JUST about to post about "gift" instead of "give" because "give" is, in fact, a perfectly good word, and then I saw that momus_window beat me to it like five minutes ago, so now I am extremely minimally peeved that momus_window posted that before I did, which is not nearly as peeved as my minor peevance at the overuse of "gift" as a verb.
posted by kristi at 6:59 PM on February 13 [4 favorites]


(Sorry I do totally see the difference between the two! But I also see a difference between “giving” and “gifting.”)
posted by obfuscation at 7:00 PM on February 13 [2 favorites]


When I first learned of the word Latinx, whatever publication I was reading provided the pronunciation (la-TEEN-iks). It made sense; I verified it with a quick google—and I've never heard that pronunciation since. I hear Latin-EX. What? No; it follows convention of similar words: Latina, Latino, Latinx. Right? Yes; of course.
posted by heyho at 7:27 PM on February 13 [2 favorites]


Do Not tell my partner this, but yes, as a child I had a run in with a toaster that resulted in me zapping myself into a rictus, and left the toaster smoking. This was the mid 80s and that toaster might have been 20 years old by that point. It was very heavy.

We didn't have a toaster for a while after that.

The next toaster set fire to the kitchen curtains, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't my doing.

The toaster after that also met a demise. I had spent the night at a friend's home and was served peanut butter and jelly on toast and that was so magical I needed to recreate the experience. On a morning when we had peanut butter, and jelly in the house, I put some of each onto some bread, and put them down in the toaster.

Turns out that is a way to start a fire with a toaster.
posted by bilabial at 9:08 PM on February 13 [10 favorites]


My boss -- he's great, we get along fine, but he's very much a take-charge guy -- keeps giving me tasks, then doing then himself. These are usually tasks he knows how to do from long experience, but are new to me. I spend ten minutes figuring out how to do this new thing, then start it...only to find he's done it himself.

We're working remote, of course, and yes, I'm going to talk to him in our next one-on-one or the next time he does it. It won't be any problem, but man, it's frustrating.
posted by lhauser at 10:23 PM on February 13 [2 favorites]


Recent annoyance that luckily won't last. Yesterday it got down to -22. This is annoying and is making me sigh every time I pass a window because
  1. Why the hell is it -22 in February. It hasn't been this cold on this date since 19 fricken' 50.
  2. Because it was +10 two weeks ago there is no snow. I'm sorry. -22 and no snow is just straight up wrong.
Insult to injury I just got my new to me hot tub set up and running three days before the snap after months of work. I hear it kick on every once and a while and want to scream at the sky at the injustice of not being able to use it lest I become a reverse human Popsicle.
posted by Mitheral at 12:29 AM on February 14 [2 favorites]


Veggies is/are Australian: please also see we are having the rellies over for Chrissy when we might grill veges on the barby before we hand out prezzies. What do you think, Bazza, Muzza, Johnno, Bluey (with red hair)?

Also I am sick to the fuck that I cannot contact government departments with email, even though I have audio processing problems. I can WRITE them a snail-mail letter, but I'd have to leave the house. And although I was able to ring the hospital where I'm due a CT scan tomorrow at 8am, the only way I can reschedule is during "opening hours" which is Mon- Fri, 9am - 5pm. I was able to call the hospita switchboard, but they couldn't leave an email for CT admin. I have a cold or the flu and apart from not being able to hold my breath for long enough, I don't a. Want to spread germs, or b. End up on the COVID ward again.

Also my sinuses hurt, my nose has been leaking continuously for 4 days, I coughed up a bucket of dark green phlegm, and my eyes are burning, my skin can't decide whether it's on fire or in the freezer AND I haven't been paid this year.
posted by b33j at 1:48 AM on February 14 [5 favorites]


I just favorited most of the comments on spelling errors and horrible neologisms like "trainings", but maybe I missed an earlier mention of the confusion of loose and lose. Further, "facist" for fascist and "rascist" for racist.
posted by Strutter Cane - United Planets Stilt Patrol at 2:58 AM on February 14 [4 favorites]


All of my annoyances are based on being an over-privileged white person and I’d be embarrassed to share them.
posted by bendy at 3:07 AM on February 14 [4 favorites]


My gripey-hour gripe: A bunch of weeks ago or so, some politician found some move or statement during the impoochment preparations "a bridge too far," and all of a sudden, too far bridges pop up like the proverbial toadstools (you know: "literally") all over the place across all the media outlets, as if everyone had been longing to find (or re-animate) that magical phrase that finally would make it possible to concisely describe This Thing that otherwise could not be explained.
posted by Namlit at 4:09 AM on February 14 [4 favorites]


Grammar hangups, mentioned above, I find incredibly frustrating. I notice non-standard grammer and get distracted from what's actually being said, then I feel bad about momentarily judging people, then I feel stupid for spending time thinking about the topic at all. But, some part of my brain just won't stop getting stuck.

"Begging the question" is the one that I most resent. It's a centuries old mistranslation of a Latin phrase that takes almost as much time to say as just describing the logical fallacy; a fallacy that is so obvious it doesn't need a name. When the words are used "incorrectly," they're being treated like words in English that have meaning. "Begs the question" is exactly as meaningful as "demands that we ask." But, I feel a little twinge of annoyance every single time people use it in the obvious way. My former grad advisor, who is one of the most thoughtful people I've met, says it once a month. Every goddamn time I wince a little. And then I hate my English teacher's English teacher's English teacher who went to school when Latin seemed like a class worth taking and has passed on the virus to generations of students.

The difference between "envious" and "jealous" is another one that makes me angry at myself. I didn't learn about it until I was an adult. And I'm pretty sure I learned about it from a book of trivia from 1927. Which means it was already an obscure distinction worth asking trivia questions about before my grandparents were born. I don't care. Nobody cares. Why the fuck do I notice it?

I've finally gotten used to "anyways." And for some reason I never cared about "on accident." (Though, "accidentally" and "intentionally" are just sitting there waiting to be used.) The initial "so" feels entirely natural to me, which perhaps pins down exactly when and where I grew up.

I genuinely don't care about any of it. If I can tell what you mean, say it however you want. If people say it often enough, let's put it in the dictionary. But, there's some virus running on the religious-firmware of my brain that always notices and is a little bit annoyed when things are just a tiny bit off from the dusty textbooks I grew up reading.
posted by eotvos at 5:26 AM on February 14 [8 favorites]


And then there’s the “verbing” of “verb” ;-)

A classic proofreading story in my office is about a document that had a long convoluted sentence of many lines, but no verb. No verb anywhere. So the proofreader wrote a note beside it that said, "Most sentences verb. This one not."
posted by JanetLand at 5:37 AM on February 14 [13 favorites]


My trigger is affect and effect.

The postal stamps reside in two different drawers in my desk.The address stamps and stamp pads live in a third. The envelopes are in the basement, two floors down.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 6:02 AM on February 14 [3 favorites]


Also, on reading the rest of the previous comments, seeing what my neighbors put into the recycling bin makes me feel sad. I understand trying to recycle high-numbered plastics, paper, and glass, 'cause out city still pretends they're actually being recycled and we all want to believe that doing so requires less energy than making new stuff. (We're probably just burning more gas by requiring a second truck to take our LDPE, polystyrene, and junkmail to the landfill. But, that's not at all obvious.)

But, the number of DVD players, lamps, and chairs in the recycling bin is astonishing. I'm always tempted to either break them up and throw them down the garbage chute so the maintenance guy doesn't have to do it or take them out of the bin and leave them in the hallway so my idiot neighbors have to step over their own garbage on the way to work. (Which I realize would only create more work for the maintenance guy.) I do neither, because not fucking with your neighbors, even when they're dumb as a box of boxes, is a community standard I feel strong about upholding. But, yikes.

[Edit: I've broken the no-politics rule, yet again. Sorry. Won't be offended by a deletion.]
posted by eotvos at 6:23 AM on February 14 [3 favorites]


If I can tell what you mean, say it however you want. If people say it often enough, let's put it in the dictionary. But, there's some virus running on the religious-firmware of my brain that always notices and is a little bit annoyed when things are just a tiny bit off from the dusty textbooks I grew up reading.

Yeah, I can generally stop, reread, and figure out what the writer is trying to say, however they say it. But that’s a pretty discourteous way to treat the people that are being asked to read what you’ve written. When you read, you should be able to take in the text in big chunks, with a steady rhythm and flow. Reading something that’s written incorrectly is like driving on a road that’s riddled with potholes.

Yes, all language is made up, but the words do have meanings that we’ve all more or less agreed on. It’s like trying to send coded messages when the person at the other end has decided to use a different code book because the regular one is on the top shelf and they just can’t be bothered to stand up and get it.

All our names are made up, too, but it’s going to make life more complicated than it should be if I decide I’d rather call my colleague John Bob on Mondays, Rick or Steve every other Tuesday in Spring, Millicent on the Wednesdays of weeks containing a national holiday, and Rudolph every other Christmas Eve. It’s gonna be especially confusing to my other colleagues who happen to be named Bob, Rick, Steve, Millicent, and Rudolph.

I love how adaptable English is to new circumstances and concepts. I love that when we need a new word we make one up, import one, or repurpose one. But that’s a different thing than just not caring enough to use the perfectly serviceable words we’ve already got.

Before I get down off the soapbox for the day, I’d just like to lodge a complaint against “yummy.” Nobody over the age of four has any business saying “yummy.” “Yummy” is baby noises that we make before our brains and mouths are sufficiently developed to say “good,” “tasty,” or “delicious.”
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:48 AM on February 14 [7 favorites]


A friend of mine grumbled about people leaving just 3 seconds left on the microwave instead of canceling them, and I agreed heartily, because my wife does this all the time. And I told my wife about it, because she is good-natured about her irritating quirks, and it's annoying but I'm not, like, mad.

A couple weeks later she comes up to me out of nowhere and says "I figured out why I don't cancel the microwave timer when there are a couple seconds left! It's because I don't want to waste them."

*stare*

I love my wife. But she's very weird.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 7:17 AM on February 14 [25 favorites]


Yeah, well, sometimes I play a game when I'm editing when, for example, I'm changing a word and I backspace up to a letter from the old word which I can then use in the new word, adding the new letters to the old, to make the new. Saving the old letter. Ridiculous, I know.

My trigger is affect and effect.

It's my bellief that because these two can be trouble, and people don't want to get it wrong, they just give up and instead use impact as the verb. I hate that, especially in the continuous form:
How's that weather impacting Texas?
Groan.
posted by Rash at 8:43 AM on February 14 [9 favorites]


Yeah, I can generally stop, reread, and figure out what the writer is trying to say, however they say it. But that’s a pretty discourteous way to treat the people that are being asked to read what you’ve written. When you read, you should be able to take in the text in big chunks, with a steady rhythm and flow. Reading something that’s written incorrectly is like driving on a road that’s riddled with potholes.

I am so very onboard with this. I work as a researcher and translator and my main client these days is a fellow I worked with in a previous job, and one who has been losing his sight gradually for years. His computer software is great at reading a pdf or the like that is just straight text, but not so great at a website or a document with charts and illustrations. Thus we probably spend a couple of hours a week reviewing things together that he has been sent.

Yesterday we spent thirty minutes trying to tease some meaning out of a sloppily and ambiguously-worded email he received. It probably took the original writer ten seconds to craft the pivotal sentence and it meant an hour or so of other people's time trying to puzzle out what was meant with it, and even then having maybe 85% certainty that it had been parsed correctly. It is incredibly unprofessional.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:07 AM on February 14 [3 favorites]


the verbing of “gift” peeves me a bit every time.

I love this thread so much, thank you all. This reminded me of another thing that makes me very cross. I am on the board of a state-level kinda fancy non-profit. One of the things we are supposed to do on the board is encourage people to donate, donate ourselves, and thank our donors. This is fine with me, I knew it when I went into it. However the language surrounding all of this for some reason bugs me. We are encouraged to thank our donors for their "gift" and talk all the time about the "gifts" people give us. The word "donation" is somehow not okay even though we've basically asked people to give us these things and I've always thought of a "gift" as something freely given with no expectations of anything including a tax write off.

So I refuse to call it a gift and when I write thank you cards (we are giving the options of cards, emails or *gasp* phone calls) I am encouraged to use the Dr. and Mrs. Peter Jeffries phrasing which is antiquated and was garbage at the time, so I always address the envelopes with the wife's name first.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 9:26 AM on February 14 [10 favorites]


The sound of whispering (mildly amusing since I’m a librarian).
Referring to people as “creatives.”
The act of putting a duvet cover on.
posted by sugarbomb at 9:56 AM on February 14 [6 favorites]


People who only turn on their blinkers as they start moving into the other lane.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:10 AM on February 14 [3 favorites]


I haaaaaaaaaaate when people say "baby" without "the," as if it were a name. As in "this will upset baby's tummy" or "it's good for baby to [blahblah]". Oh my god, I hate that so much. It sounds like it's trying to be vaguely cutesy or something, and it makes my eyeballs bleed tears of hot rage. It makes every cell in my body clench up with fury, clench up so hard the mitochondria get ejected from every one simultaneously, and there I sit, eyeballs bleeding and cells all without their powerhouses, just gagging over this appalling turn of phrase.
posted by DingoMutt at 10:35 AM on February 14 [10 favorites]


Microwave and cupboard doors standing open.
Wildly crooked parts in hair.
Me and my friend..,
...went with my wife and I.
posted by SLC Mom at 12:11 PM on February 14 [2 favorites]


Microwave and cupboard doors standing open.

equally: washing machine doors (the not-upright ones) fully closed. Modern manufacturers spent ages developing the magnetic semi-latch that lets them stay open enough that they don't go foosty
posted by scruss at 12:20 PM on February 14 [3 favorites]


My two pet peeves:
1. Cat the Younger eating everything that looks like it might be a mouse tail or made of plastic;
2. Cat the Elder nipping at my ankles in the morning. (Since he had a health scare last month, though, I have been feeling considerably more tolerant.)

As an atheist ex-Catholic, I can comfortably enjoy Sunday mornings in my pajamas, but on occasion I reflect that one nice thing about church as an idea is that it offers set-aside time to think about larger questions and how they relate to one's smaller actions. (I say "as an idea" because I have not been a churchgoer since I was around fifteen and I don't imagine that at that age I made full use of the time in practice.) Well, today I was accidentally offered a Sunday meditation by a member of another community I am in, and it felt like finding a dollar in a parking lot. He noted disapprovingly that the community we share, having been thrown into disarray by COVID, is handling it gracelessly. He's been on the receiving end of a lot of member opinions on a particular issue, and he pointed out specifically that even the supportive messages he's gotten have been full of assumptions of malign intent on the part of people on the other side. And I thought: oh shit, that is totally me. Broadly speaking I think he and I are on the same side of the issue, and although I have not been sending him character assassinations by email, I have absolutely found myself thinking things like "so and so is not arguing in good faith," and feeling the urge to respond splenetically, and not from an open heart. And we can so easily lose our attachments to each other, and instead become attached to these stories we tell ourselves about each other... So thanks, fellow community member, for reminding me today of the beam in my own eye.
posted by eirias at 1:59 PM on February 14 [6 favorites]

"I figured out why I don't cancel the microwave timer when there are a couple seconds left! It's because I don't want to waste them."
But this is why I don’t like being confronted with leftover seconds on the microwave — then I’m the one who has to consign them to oblivion unused! Or hit the +30 button which is what I usually do.

My most minor peeve is the use of the word “revealed” to mean “announced” or even just “said.” Generally found in pop culture Wikipedia entries, but I’ve noticed it creeping into mainstream journalism recently.
posted by yarrow at 2:28 PM on February 14 [1 favorite]


I haven't had sinus issues in a long time. (Thanks, nicotine patch!) But right now, probably because the air's been so dry, I have some little ball-bearing-feeling sitting right above my right upper incisor, that tickles me once every two hours. It doesn't hurt, it just surprises and tickles and annoys. Neti bottle and Neti pot have yielded zero results so far (except nice moist innards). Doing all the right OTC's. Gonna have to wait this one out, but GODDAMNIT!

No other annoyances other than to echo what jessamyn said at the top of the thread—neither of us got each other's valiumtights cards or boxes (I got her card, but there's apparently a box! squeee). Even worse, they're probably stuck in Springfield, MA.

But really? I'm probably one of the luckiest humans on earth all things told.
posted by not_on_display at 4:14 PM on February 14 [3 favorites]


This is just the thread I need to complain about a little thing that is making me dérangée. At the beginning of 2020 I was laid off and part of my new life was NO MORE SUGAR. I started eating Sugar Free Jello Chocolate Pudding as an everyday highlight of my not-so-sweet life. Then came COVID. No more going to the grocery store and even if I could go the store, the whole grocery chain discontinued selling it. I tried to order on Amazon. Sold out or a few boxes priced about 10x the usual price. Found out Walmart has it but I cannot use their pickup service since I don't have a cell phone to call when I arrive. They will not ship or deliver Jello for some unstated reason. My friend who will shop for me, is morally opposed to Walmart. I lost 40lbs using the Sugar Free Chocolate Jello Pudding as my daily treat and since I can't get any, I have not lost any more weight. Boo fucking hoo for me.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 7:54 PM on February 14 [6 favorites]


My husband whistles. Inside the house. All the time.

This was annoying before we were trapped in the house 24/7 for an entire year. Now I'm just like 🤬🤬🤬
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 9:49 PM on February 14 [8 favorites]


I really wish people would think for even a second about the physics of rowing before completely bastardising their techniques on rowing machines at the gym.

It's like fingernails on a chalkboard to me, seeing what about 95% of people do on those things.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:05 PM on February 14

The difference between "envious" and "jealous" is another one that makes me angry at myself. … I don't care. Nobody cares. Why the fuck do I notice it?
I care, insofar as I maintain the difference in my own idiolect, but I don't judge people for it (…that much).

Another that angers me completely out of proportion to the "offense" is "reoccuring character" used instead of recurring character.
posted by Strutter Cane - United Planets Stilt Patrol at 11:13 PM on February 14 [3 favorites]


My husband whistles. Inside the house. All the time.

On the up side, no jury in the world would convict you.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:38 AM on February 15 [5 favorites]


Whistling inside.... Does your husband work from home? "Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to work we go..... * whistling * "
posted by mightshould at 5:30 AM on February 15 [3 favorites]


agree with all the grammatical, spelling and idiom peeves, with extra props for "learnings," "lead" and "plead" as past tense (i strongly prefer "pleaded" but have stopped objecting to "pled" except when my suggestions have been solicited), and the verb "gift." gah.

two that haven't been mentioned are tenet/tenant and cavalry/calvary. double gah. full stop. honorable mention to tact/tack and jibe/jive.

i will usually stop reading an article once convinced the author doesn't care about language.

for a living, i read, primarily, executive-suite-level corporate email and associated corporate documents, and am amazed that the captains of industry have such poor command of language, and, separately, take such abusive liberties with it (see "trainings" and "learnings" and "the ask"). to channel my disproportionate rage i have, for some years, collected samples and, aperiodically, will compile them (and some other related nonsense and carelessness) into found-language dadaist nonpoems, under a series title of "sic, or [some example from the subject set]." the latest is
sic, or pain-staking care

the whole house was ram sacked
we has american tourists pay the data productionalization
visa versa
its creaseless committment
progressing meeting to progress
hold one-way dialog

we committed to expeditiating the agreement
some tenants to keep in mind
tenants that has separated us
pain-staking care was taken
why is the circle not straight?
runs affowl of a legal point of you

rational benefits ladder to more emotional benefits
laddering to the positioning
our great organization, to which has galvanized us
endeavor to shed the spotlight on the collusion
i have asked, pleated and begged
some dublication whole-heartily
firing shots over our bough

the tact we take needs great contemplation
success could be a bi-product of new value
laddering to the positioning
we have onforwarded this
provide a cost saving
i don't shoot my leg for any money

we may have a small reporting glitz
one of the closet out products
should have added him earlier, as he's the excerpt
lets catchup this weekend
some items sometimes may be matters of taste; other items sometimes feel like punching-down. but i persist, in knowledge of my own fallibility and full awareness of my almost nonexistent audience.

also, echoing turn signal/directional indicator issues, above, i am irritated by vehicles that leave a turn signal in signaling mode although they have already turned or changed lanes or do not intend to do either. and those that do not dim their high beams.
posted by 20 year lurk at 8:19 AM on February 15 [13 favorites]


Whistling inside....

I do this very occasionally, so must defend, since there's nuances. I mean, can he whistle? Can he carry a tune? Is it recognizable? Is he even jazzily elaborating on the tune? If so, infinitely more tolerable than the unmusical kind who just generate atonal (or shifting in and out of tune) whistling noises.
posted by Rash at 9:40 AM on February 15 [2 favorites]


When people refer to their parents without the proper possessive adjective, I cringe inside.

Chewing/whistling/humming all drive me up the wall.

Finally, I wish people would not send emails that have no content other than “thank you”, especially in a work environment.
posted by lyssabee at 11:24 AM on February 15


Other people in my house refuse to put a bag clip on an opened bag of tortilla chips. Then they put the bag in an overhead cabinet. Then I reach up on tiptoes to take it out and the damned thing rains stale tortilla chip crumbs on me and for fuck's sake, people, just clip it and put it in the counter-top-level place of opened bags!
posted by MonkeyToes at 2:13 PM on February 15 [7 favorites]


The family members who think that just because I am sitting in one of our common areas, I am up for conversation; no, I am here because there's nowhere else for me to go as everyone else is doing their remote work and schooling. OH MY GOD ONE OF THEM SAT DOWN TO TALK TO ME AS I WAS WRITING THAT. THEY ARE STILL TALKING AS I TYPE THIS.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:34 PM on February 15 [10 favorites]


i will usually stop reading an article once convinced the author doesn't care about language.

Me, too. It doesn’t bother me that much when, like, somebody’s forum comment or personal e-mail is poorly written. But when somebody is getting paid for a piece of writing and it’s clear that they haven’t bothered to try to learn the rudiments of their craft, well, that pisses me off.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:09 PM on February 15 [3 favorites]


People who ask me what I’m looking at when I’m on my phone or laptop. To me this feels like opening the bathroom door when I’m in there and asking what I’m doing. Animals!
posted by HotToddy at 4:18 PM on February 15 [9 favorites]


Part of my job involves working with Excel spreadsheets that include large walls of text (think 7-8 paragraphs per cell). This is annoying enough, but I had to take over one my peer's spreadsheet, too. She routinely makes 2-3 typos per paragraph, which she asked me to fix. It is so annoying to run spell check in Excel and have to try to figure out where the typo is in the wall of text so I can get some context and figure out what the correct word should be. So I am cutting and pasting the cell contents into Word and running the spellcheck in Word. It's infuriatingly inefficient and my usual hacks for getting through dumb boring repetitive tasks aren't working.
posted by creepygirl at 7:19 PM on February 15 [2 favorites]


@creepygirl, are all the cells with paragraphs in the same row or column? Would it be practical to export that whole section into a Word table, proofread/correct there, and then import it back into the spreadsheet?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:22 PM on February 15


I have so many of these, it makes me feel like I'm a crazy judgemental fruitcake sometimes. Do other people not see them?

I work in a relatively new building that is full of this stuff. I started to list them, but no one needs to hear that whole rant. The worst one is that some numb-nut electrician installed the light switches inside the clean labs, behind the door. There were three other options for placement, and they went with the only one that required me to don five types of cleanroom garment/ppe in order to access it. I hate them almost everyday.

People who treat shared workbenches as storage. Yes, of course, I just cleared the kitchen benches so that you could leave your crap all over it.

Also, I have to make sure there are two packets of toilet paper in the linen closet at all times, because if there's only one, my housemates will open the packet, and only take two rolls into whichever toilet has run out. And leave the rest of the packet in the linen closet. Because when you're running low on TP, the best place to store it is obviously the linen closet. If there are two packets in the linen closet, they will take one of the packets intact and shove it into cube storage near the toilet. I still don't understand why they do this, but it's not a fight I seem to be able to win, so I just keep the linen closet well stocked.
posted by kjs4 at 7:44 PM on February 15 [2 favorites]


This the best thread I've read today. It's making all the things in my day manageable because at least I'm not dealing with the thing you are dealing with. Unless maybe you also have:
Coworkers that want to convey they are going to tell person À something. But instead of wording it like that, they draft the whole email "dear person À, I wanted to let you that we are going to be sending you the draft. We will follow up in two weeks and we hope you and your family are doing. We look forward to your feedback on the draft. Thank you so much, coworker". I am climbing the wall during the whole thing, no pleeeeeeease, you don't need to also spell out the closing phrase with YOUR NAME. I know who you are.

Also people that audibly pace while speaking on telecons. What kind of shoes are you *wearing* while you're stuck at home and no one sees below the waist.

And eating/drinking on the telecom. Do not.

Insurance prior authorizations. And when you find out the doctor has been applying for one to insurance you had last year. For three weeks. Despite you mentioned six times the new insurance and gave them the new card yada yada and followed up three times and they even sent you for unnecessary blood work because maybe that was the issue.


Ahh I feel so much better. Hope you all do too, even just a little!
posted by Tandem Affinity at 8:01 PM on February 15 [3 favorites]


While we're on terms that cause us to grind our teeth until they crack, I am in a field where TOO DAMN MANY people seem to feel compelled to refer to kids as "kiddoes," and omg I hate it so much.

...and the doggoes, while were at it.


Not sure which is worse, doggoes or puppers.


two that haven't been mentioned are tenet/tenant and cavalry/calvary. double gah. full stop. honorable mention to tact/tack and jibe/jive.

People who talk about being 'phased'.
Unless you're occurring in stages or got shot by a Star Trek character, it's FAZED, FFS.

'Loose' for 'lose'.
posted by myotahapea at 12:26 AM on February 16 [5 favorites]


Pressing enter after inputting a username and password or a search term on a website not actually logging in or performing the search (unless you manually tab over to select the login or search button and then press enter). I don't know why this seems to be so common on websites here in Japan (along with being very particular about whether one includes "www" in the URL). I'm used to it on J-PlatPat (Japan Platform for Patent Information), but I was newly annoyed by it today in my first encounter with the cloud service for payslips my employer introduced this month.
posted by Strutter Cane - United Planets Stilt Patrol at 2:15 AM on February 16 [1 favorite]


Anxious vs eager.
posted by carmicha at 3:08 AM on February 16


The NY Times Spelling Bee takes linnet now! One tiny gripe that can be crossed off the list.
posted by Redstart at 6:30 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]


I regret to inform you that the cats in my house are sometimes collectively called the kittoes. But a) we don't inflict it on anyone else, and b) usually I actually go with "kitkats" because they all have some pretty good kitten energy.

I am mostly irritated that the "I am not a cat" filter isn't just built into zoom and instead requires an extra app. Too much work.
posted by ktkt at 11:24 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]


Ah my fellow language people!, most of my pet language peeves have been covered. One I did not see is the use of "alot" instead of "a lot", as in, I see this happen alot [sic].

Terminology that grates on me - the Smithsonian Transcription Center is a really worthwhile effort and I am not criticizing what they do. What grates on me though is that they refer to the volunteers who transcribe documents etc. on the site as "Volunpeers", a portmanteau of volunteer and peer. I hate this word so much.

Work from home pet peeve - this is a small place and Mr. gudrun talks to himself way to much. It is enough already to have to deal with overhearing zoom meetings and phone calls, without adding more random noise to the mix.

Here is a funny story about dogs and sniffing (warning, it includes a little bit of baby talking to the dog). My parents used to have a corgi, Cari, and as dogs do, she loved to rub and roll in nasty stuff, including actual animal poop. She also had a really impressive ruff of fur on the front of her neck, which was what often got stuff on it. One day, she rolled in something really nasty, and my mother kept trying to clean it off her fur/ruff, and sniffing the dog to see if she had managed to get it all off (with the sentence "Do you still have poo-poo on the ruff?" being bandied about repeatedly). After that, the dog had a real complex when it came to anyone sniffing, because she thought she was being accused of being bad. If you wanted to get the dog going, all you had to do was sniff, and she would start curling her lip and growling. It was not a big deal normally, unless you happened to have a cold, in which case she would get incendiary with rage at the false accusations and go off in a huff. (I admit that it was so cute that we sometimes sniffed at her on purpose, of course.)
posted by gudrun at 11:42 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]


I regret to inform you that the cats in my house are sometimes collectively called the kittoes.

“Sometimes” is the key here. “Kiddo,” “doggo,” “pupper,” etc. are fine when used occasionally. But more and more people are using them exclusively. It’s like, a sprig of parsley makes a lovely garnish, but eating an an entire heaping platter of parsley sprigs for dinner wouldn’t be very appetizing for me. They’re good as “sometimes words” in the same way something cloyingly sweet makes a good “sometimes food.” Like Shakespeare said, “For as a surfeit of the sweetest things the deepest loathing to the stomach brings.”
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:08 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]


And eating/drinking on the telecom. Do not.

I'm on calls from 8am until 6 with virtually no breaks; when precisely am I permitted to eat and drink then?
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:13 PM on February 16 [3 favorites]


Late to the party but...
On Webex (or zoom, or whatever) meetings, there's always someone who pops in late, after the presenter has started presenting, or whatever. Great! You're late. That's fine, we're all busy.

But whenever it's a Senior Manager, Director, or above - THEY ALWAYS ANNOUNCE THEMSELVES!!!

Presenter: So you can see in this graph that the downti--
Important person: This is Zaphod B. I'm now in the meeting. Where are we?
Presenter:...as I was in the middle of saying, the downtime in January rose mostly--
Another Important Person: This is John Wanksalot. I've joined the meeting.
Presenter: ...
When the presenter is *me*, I usually gush thanks that they've deigned to attend the meeting (usually that they demanded I call) and they're too self-important to recognize the sarcasm.
posted by notsnot at 2:27 PM on February 16 [3 favorites]


People who ask me what I’m looking at when I’m on my phone or laptop. To me this feels like opening the bathroom door when I’m in there and asking what I’m doing.

I have a relative who thinks a great welcome when encountering someone who is already around (i.e. someone else who was already in the house but who had been in a different room for the last hour) is to ask, “What did you lose?”

It seems a stupid thing designed only to make confuse people and make them question whether or not they seems like they are searching for something, but he’s been doing this longer than I have been alive, so no going back now I suppose.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:20 PM on February 16


Invite is a verb. Invitation is a noun. You don't "send out the invites."
posted by Knowyournuts at 5:52 PM on February 16 [4 favorites]


I have a relative who thinks a great welcome when encountering someone who is already around (i.e. someone else who was already in the house but who had been in a different room for the last hour) is to ask, “What did you lose?”

'My patience; I don't think I'm going to find it in here, though.'
posted by jamjam at 7:44 PM on February 16 [4 favorites]


Is it nuisance level when your office insists upon operating as per usual when literally 75% of your staff has been without power for 48 hours? Or is that like a bigger thing
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:05 AM on February 17 [5 favorites]


Grocer's apostrophes.

[Swears unintelligibly]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:07 AM on February 17 [6 favorites]


^^
You need a local grammar vigilante, DirtyOldTown.
posted by myotahapea at 7:18 AM on February 17 [4 favorites]


The family members who think that just because I am sitting in one of our common areas, I am up for conversation; no, I am here because there's nowhere else for me to go as everyone else is doing their remote work and schooling.

Those SAME family members are the one who will seek you out when you flee to a quiet area to focus in peace to complain about that you are 1. Disengaged and 2. don't have to say anything! You can just sit doing your thing and we won't bother you!
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 7:23 AM on February 17 [2 favorites]


Ugh. Because I just saw another example of it and can't believe I forgot it first time round ...

Rein/Reign
Every time I read something to the effect of "they were given free reign to" my blood pressure ticks up a few points.

*climbs aboard soapbox*
To "reign" is to rule.
Queen Elizabeth has reigned for 69 years.
"Free rein", "rein in", &c, is having the freedom/permission to do as you choose. Originates with horseback riding, and refers to how tightly the straps (or "reins") controlling the horse's head were held. E.g. when animals were given "free rein" those straps were loose, allowing the creature to choose their speed/direction; when the rider reapplied pressure to regain control the animal was "reined in".
*dismounts soapbox*

Apologies. Been needing to get that out my system for ages.
posted by myotahapea at 7:41 AM on February 17 [9 favorites]


Oh I have another, and I'm so happy that this thread is here so I can gleefully report it instead of just silently being ticked off when it happens.

I live in a town that shares a zip code with a larger town. We're too small to have our own post office. When I enter my street address into many online forms, they force me to say I live in that other town. It won't accept my town with that zip code. Hey! I live here!
posted by daisyace at 7:57 AM on February 17 [2 favorites]


"Real quick" attached to a request. "Can you help me real quick?" It reminds me of "quick question," and they both make me think, just make it quick, don't tell me it's going to be quick.

I feel bad for getting so annoyed with this; most people using it don't seem to mean any harm but it always ends up feeling like I am being put under pressure. With someone who does this repeatedly I'll actually say that I can't promise to do it quickly, which probably comes across as obnoxious. I don't think most people are really telling me to help them quickly; rather, they are likely trying to reassure me they won't take up much of my time. But it's in the category of "small favor." I'll do you a favor whether it is small or not but whatever you do, don't tell me it's small when it is not.
posted by BibiRose at 8:06 AM on February 17 [2 favorites]


I feel you, daisyace! I’ve lived in three houses over the last twenty years, and each one was located in one of those weird neighborhoods where ZIP code, telephone exchange, school district, and physical location within town/city boundaries overlap.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:07 AM on February 17 [1 favorite]


I don't think most people are really telling me to help them quickly; rather, they are likely trying to reassure me they won't take up much of my time.

I remember this from time spent in the US Midwest*, and to me it always read as either: irritatingly passive-aggressive, a low-key manipulative way to close off an avenue of refusal because it'll be real quick, taking up so little of your time that it would be rude for you to do anything but acquiesce; or, a way to make the asker feel not so bad about inconveniencing you because it'll be so quick you'll be done before you know it. Just ask for whatever you want to ask for, and let me decide how I feel about it.

*I'd forgotten about it until watching 'Gone Girl', when the detective says it to the husband early on. The visceral negative reaction I had was almost equal to my response to the background cicadas (?) in the outdoor establishing shots.
posted by myotahapea at 10:52 AM on February 17 [2 favorites]


AT&T's voice activated phone menus that play at typing sound as if there is a real person there. I banged 0 until I got a human being because the stoopid voice recognition couldn't figure out what I wanted.

Walgreen's website that won't let you schedule the first COVID spot because you have to schedule both at the same time and there are no appointments to be had.

Me writing run-on sentences and not having the energy to go back and fix them.
posted by kathrynm at 6:00 PM on February 17 [2 favorites]


Ha ha Bibirose, that makes me think of the line from Parks and Recreation "can you make me some pancakes real quick?" My husband and I add that request too whenever we are begging for something we know will be annoying for the other person to do.... "Can you please please be the one goes out in the rain to get the mail? And can you also make me some pancakes real quick?"
posted by Tandem Affinity at 7:56 PM on February 17 [3 favorites]


Do all Safeways have this? When the phone rings in X department, and nobody picks up, instead of an automated announcement to that effect over the PA, the loud, sudden interruption to the Muzak --
"X Department.

Two

Zero

Zero"
(Sometimes it's 201)
Why does Safeway corporate think this is better than having whoever shout out "Dept X! Telephone!" (Or even just the sound of a ringing telephone?!) So goddam annoying when you have to hear this again and again and again.

Especially the way the robot says "zero."
posted by Rash at 8:24 PM on February 17 [1 favorite]


DirtyOldTown's grocer's apostrophe comment reminded me of another abomination - the use of quotation marks for emphasis, usually on homemade signs in local businesses, that make the phrase sound super dubious. Examples include:
Today's "Special"
"MERRY" CHRISTMAS
and my all-time (least) favorite, from a Lakeview diner in the 1990s
"HOME" "MADE" "POTATO" "PANCAKE'S
(With a random apostrophe, even! The nerve!)
posted by sencha at 8:28 PM on February 17 [6 favorites]


I worked as a signmaker for 36 years at a grocery co-op and made it a rule to eliminate any and all grocer's apostrophes on the sign order forms. Thousands prevented. However, I did make much use of the word Veggies instead of Vegetables because Vegetables is such a long ass word and often took up too much width on the sign. I am toughened to the use of Veggies but I abhor the use of kiddoes and doggos and puppers.

I also wince when requested to JUST take this 1 inch 32 dpi rpg graphic and turn it into an oversize CMYK 300dpi sign about 8 feet wide. Or JUST take this vertical sign and make it horizontal and a completely different shape. The word "just" means it's going to be difficult and time consuming. Just is made magnitudes worse by being asked to be done "really quickly".
posted by a humble nudibranch at 8:48 PM on February 17 [7 favorites]


Rash, we no longer have Safeway where I live, but I can attest that the local iteration of Kroger (Smith’s) does the same thing, wherein overhead paging increases in inverse proportion to staffing capacity. There’s also some weird error that crops up with an automated announcement telling a “batch coordinator” to do some sort of fix, and it plays on a loop until (I guess) the batch? gets coordinated? Which is never?

Last time I set foot in one, there was also “Attention (team members or whatever the corporate platitude is): it’s top of the hour. Time to freshen up for our customers!” ...Ew?

They also interrupt their piped-in music to tell us, “You’re listening to the in-store audio network!” As if we have a choice about it.

I’ve always been tempted to yell THIS IS NONE OF MY DAMNED BUSINESS! in response, but I’m sure the workers hate it even more.
posted by armeowda at 9:09 PM on February 17 [4 favorites]




I found out on social media that my ex is getting married. His girlfriend filmed her whole proposal to him and it automatically appeared in my FB ‘stories’ stream. I didn’t hear from him at about it, even though he insists we are great friends.

and uh he is still married to me. I gave him divorce papers five years ago and he just won’t sign them. No reason, just doesn’t feel like it.
posted by honey-barbara at 4:30 AM on February 18 [12 favorites]


I don't think most people are really telling me to help them quickly; rather, they are likely trying to reassure me they won't take up much of my time.

I have been burned so many times by colleagues who message me with a "real quick" question only to suck up an hour and a half of my time with additional "now that I have your attention, this will only take one more minute". One colleague was so terrible about this (calling my personal mobile at 10 PM!) I had to both block him on my employer's messaging and filter his messages AND he got blacklisted from doing any work on my application.

My automatic response when messaged a "real quick question" is to request email. I no longer entertain "real quick" questions, especially if I have never met you in person.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 7:16 AM on February 18 [4 favorites]

the use of quotation marks for emphasis
I predict that in 100 years, people will be astonished that we considered this shocking. I also am always surprised and annoyed by it. Even though I can't justify why I don't mind using other marks that have multiple meanings for *emphasis.* I also predict the use of a comma to indicate a verbal pause will become accepted, during our lifetime.

If I were to rebuild the English language from scratch, it would have paired right side up and upside down exclamation points for emphasis so the reader knows what is coming before reaching the end of the sentence. (After all the phonetic spelling reform is adopted and we've all stopped writing our dates in inconsistent and unsortable ways, that is.)
posted by eotvos at 11:17 AM on February 18 [1 favorite]


Sencha, there was a listicle of photos of signs with inappropriately quoted words that made the phrase look suspicious and it was pretty funny. Things like 100% "beef" hamburgers.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 11:24 AM on February 18 [1 favorite]


I think the problem I have with quote marks-as-emphasis is the time I have to spend parsing whether that’s what they mean, or it’s quotemarks-as-sarcasm, or as caution, or as attribution, or as denial. Some of these things are opposites!

It fits far too well with the post truth style of political sloganeering.

I have not yet seen anyone mixing quotes and the scrambled-case style of social media sarcasm.
posted by clew at 11:45 AM on February 18 [3 favorites]


Here's a "link" to a sample listicle.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:01 PM on February 18 [5 favorites]


any portmanteau in a storm - Those are beautiful/terrible (terribeautiful?); thanks for the link! (Or maybe "thanks")
posted by sencha at 2:16 PM on February 18


Pictures of signs with the suspicious quotation marks or you had one job-type situations always bring a smile to my face.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:46 PM on February 18


Two things. The man I love does these two things.
1. He shakes the ketchup and mustard bottles violently vigorously for a long time. Before every use.
2. He pours his coffee, adds sugar and creamer then stirs and stirs and stirs and stirs and stirs and stir and stirs and stirs and stirs and stirs...rinse and repeat.
posted by LaBellaStella at 3:23 PM on February 18 [4 favorites]


My partner types so loudly! We work together in a small apartment! Augh!
posted by ferret branca at 4:01 PM on February 18 [4 favorites]


1. He shakes the ketchup and mustard bottles violently vigorously for a long time. Before every use.

I used to do this, because otherwise your first squirt is just ketchup- or mustard-flavored water. I no longer have the strength in my arms and hands to do it anymore, though, so now I just do the first squirt into the kitchen sink.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:25 PM on February 18 [3 favorites]


Sencha, there was a listicle of photos of signs with inappropriately quoted words that made the phrase look suspicious and it was pretty funny. Things like 100% "beef" hamburgers.

As a kid, I had one set of relatives who would send Xmas gifts every year with tags that read "Love" Aunt D and Uncle J. When we were old enough to get the implications, my sister and I thought this was hilarious. We still send each other gifts signed with "love" in quotation marks from time to time.
posted by DingoMutt at 6:30 PM on February 18 [6 favorites]


'Cannon' for 'canon'.

A cannon is artillery: a big ol' chunk of ironmongery (traditionally, at least) deployed in battle to fling projectiles at the opposition.

Canon (in this instance, anyway) is originally Biblical in nature and refers to a collection of works accepted as authentic or authoritative; in fandom it's often used to describe the bits of information in a story/universe which are accepted as official, as opposed to theories or explanations come up with by fans or consumers.

I will leave a conjuring of the image which appears in my mind whenever people refer to their 'headcannon' regarding some character or story as an exercise for the reader.

This thread is really bringing out my frustration with inaccurately utilised homonyms.
posted by myotahapea at 11:01 PM on February 18 [6 favorites]


I've always thought utilize is a stupid word. It means the same thing as use. Are you trying to sound smart? Just say use!
posted by phunniemee at 5:38 AM on February 19 [7 favorites]


Pandemic times are actually helpful for the misophonia. It's not helping me in any other non-virus-related way, but I don't have to hear anyone chew but myself and my cat, nor does anyone tap their foot, or click a pen, etc.

I am however annoyed by people talking in the hallway outside my door. GO INSIDE AND STOP CONGREGATING. Also I don't want to hear about your sciatica.
posted by wellred at 5:39 AM on February 19


suspicious quotation marks

This weirdness must come from somewhere, but what's the source? I can't myself recall being taught that quotation marks signify 'sarcastic' but the curious notion that they just indicate emphasis must come from somewhere, it's so wide-spread. May be worthy of a question in the green.
posted by Rash at 10:40 AM on February 19 [1 favorite]


Way back, the phrase was so-called "____" -- at some point, the adjective exited stage left.
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:00 PM on February 19 [1 favorite]

May be worthy of a question in the green
Or a masters thesis I'd enjoy reading. (I have no idea if such exists.)
posted by eotvos at 11:33 PM on February 19


This weirdness must come from somewhere, but what's the source? I can't myself recall being taught that quotation marks signify 'sarcastic' but the curious notion that they just indicate emphasis must come from somewhere, it's so wide-spread.

Scare quotes are for sarcasm, and I think that's relatively recent. I have seen quotation marks used for emphasis in handwritten letters from someone who was born in the early 20th century. Tidier than underlining, I suppose, and a perfectly cromulent (if archaic) way of calling attention to something when typographical tricks are unavailable. But that's a guess.
posted by MonkeyToes at 8:20 AM on February 20 [1 favorite]


Wikipedia for scare quotes dates their use in writing from 1956, and mentions 'air quotes', popular usage of which I'd think would reinforce what they signify.
posted by Rash at 12:49 PM on February 20


When people say the title of something that begins with the word “the” but they leave off the “The.” For instance, if someone asked me to go to an animated film in 2019 and said, “Do you want to see Addams Family?” that would grate on my nerves.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:33 PM on February 23 [1 favorite]


There's also the reverse when people refer to, for instance, Watchmen with a superfluous "the".

Incidentally, you might be annoyed with the localization of many movie titles here in Japan. When there isn't a completely new title, it's often the case that the definite article will be removed, as in The Dark Knight Rises becoming Dark Knight Rising.
posted by Strutter Cane - United Planets Stilt Patrol at 12:20 AM on February 24 [1 favorite]


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