Speed issues and Fark

September 25, 2002 12:03 PM

So I noticed Metafilter was sloooow today, now I know why.
posted by patrickje to MetaFilter-Related at 12:03 PM (45 comments total)

I was wondering if MetaFilter was slow today or if it was just me. But then I figured that if I was the one who was slow today then MetaFilter would seem faster than usual to me by comparison, ergo it must be the site.

Those are the kind of logistical skills that got me an 800 on the GRE's "Analytical Reasoning" section.
posted by Shadowkeeper at 12:15 PM on September 25, 2002

on the bright side though, matt's new server has stayed up-and-running under what one can only assume is a pretty fierce pounding from the Fark readership.
posted by GeekAnimator at 12:26 PM on September 25, 2002

Farkers have clicked on the above link 10459 times

Dear God, somebody make them stop!
posted by timeistight at 12:26 PM on September 25, 2002

hmm. that sucks to see 10,000 new people in a short time can slow the place to a crawl.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 12:27 PM on September 25, 2002

Shadowkeeper: Or, maybe you're running faster today.
posted by signal at 12:28 PM on September 25, 2002

hmm. that sucks to see 10,000 new people in a short time can slow the place to a crawl.

Any way to cache the most popular threads instead of pulling them out of the database 10,000 times?
posted by timeistight at 12:35 PM on September 25, 2002

I noticed Shadowkeeper looked bluer than usual.

(yes, he's coming toward me in this scenario, and yes, I had to look it up.)
posted by gleuschk at 12:37 PM on September 25, 2002

perhaps only logged-in users should be able to pull pages straight from the database. visitors and non-logged-in users would see static pages that would refresh every 10 minutes or so.
posted by GeekAnimator at 12:55 PM on September 25, 2002

(i'm assuming, of course, that there's a significant difference in server usage when someone views a page with all the posts dynamically pulled out of a database, versus a hard-coded version of the same page, please correct me if i'm wrong)
posted by GeekAnimator at 12:57 PM on September 25, 2002

I noticed Shadowkeeper looked bluer than usual.

I've been out-nerded.
posted by Shadowkeeper at 1:05 PM on September 25, 2002

Ha! MetaFilter's been farked! Maybe we should MeFi them back ...or not.
posted by me3dia at 1:23 PM on September 25, 2002

I noticed Shadowkeeper looked bluer than usual.

Yes, a shadow of Fark-er Blue.................
posted by thomcatspike at 1:34 PM on September 25, 2002

There's only one way to settle this:

MetaFilter vs. Fark All-Star Softball Challenge!
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:39 PM on September 25, 2002

Rock on, Kaf. I've already even got a MeFi softball jersey. I call shortstop.
posted by Ufez Jones at 1:46 PM on September 25, 2002

Bullshit. American football or nothing. We got evanizer on the line, jonmc for kick-off returns, y6y6y6 at fearless strong safety, f_and_m as a smartassed receiver, mathowie as special teams coach, and Head coach owillis. We can't lose. (I want the outside linebacker spot; its that Romanosky thing...you know.)
posted by Wulfgar! at 1:54 PM on September 25, 2002

Shadowkeeper: I've been out-nerded.
That's unpossible...
posted by patrickje at 1:57 PM on September 25, 2002

...And even if we win -- even if we win, Hah! --- even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days, even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field, even if every man woman and child joined hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Fark 'cause they've got all the Photoshoppery! It just doesn't matter if we win or if we lose! It just doesn't matter! IT! JUST! DOESN'T! MATTER!
posted by me3dia at 2:46 PM on September 25, 2002

jonmc for kick-off returns...

OK!! I love football. I've been playing scrimmages my whole life. Most of them without a helmet, which may explain a lot.
posted by jonmc at 3:03 PM on September 25, 2002

I'd like to be quarterback, if only so I can get all the chicks, money, and recognition without having to get hit too hard.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:47 PM on September 25, 2002

Who needs jerseys, helmets and pads? Let's go with the international spirit of the Intaweb & Mefi, and play the beautiful (global) game - Football (aka soccer), shirts v. skins!

At least they'd have to give Mefi an advantage, being as more of them know the rules... (",)
posted by dash_slot- at 3:52 PM on September 25, 2002

Gang: don't forget the hotdog salesman, since immortalized by mathowie himself in print!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 3:59 PM on September 25, 2002

I recommend this be a co-ed game, so as to shatter the "boys' club" illusion.
posted by brittney at 5:27 PM on September 25, 2002

i call waterboy.
posted by modge at 5:47 PM on September 25, 2002

I'm the aging lineman who summons up all his experience and grit to sack the quarterback and cause him to fumble the football, but in the process agrivates an old injury and has to be carried off the field, but then everyone else says "let's win this one.. for Hildago!"

Or else I'm the fucked-up psycho guy from The Longest Yard.

posted by Hildago at 6:03 PM on September 25, 2002

*grabs blue and grey pom poms*

Ready!
posted by gummi at 6:16 PM on September 25, 2002

...shirts v. skins!--dash slot-

I recommend this be a co-ed game, so as to shatter the "boys' club" illusion.--Brittney

**begins fervently praying to every known God that MeFi gets to be 'Skins'**
posted by jonmc at 6:21 PM on September 25, 2002

::sniff sniff::

Hey, somebody organizing a football league around here?
posted by yhbc at 6:31 PM on September 25, 2002

I'll be the blonde wearing the big sunglasses sitting in the bleachers, staying warm in my cream-colored cashmere sweater with my doe skin gloves, sipping from my flask and making witty remarks to my neighbors.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:56 PM on September 25, 2002

I'll be the pep band! Your choice - saxophone, mandolin, or djembe.
posted by UKnowForKids at 7:34 PM on September 25, 2002

I'm with you UK! The MetaFilter All-Star djembe spirit band.

And a-one, and a-two...
posted by jazon at 8:32 PM on September 25, 2002

GeekAnimator:

I thought I had read somewhere around here that visitors and folks not logged in got a static page that updated every 5 minutes. I can't remember where around here I read that, but I think I am recalling it correctly.
posted by trondant at 8:41 PM on September 25, 2002

Hockey scrimmage. Nothing less.
posted by adampsyche at 4:24 AM on September 26, 2002

I'll be the blonde wearing the big sunglasses sitting in the bleachers, staying warm in my cream-colored cashmere sweater with my doe skin gloves, sipping from my flask and making witty remarks to my neighbors.

Lemme guess: you would be dating Hildago the aging lineman who summons up all his experience and grit to sack the quarterback and cause him to fumble the football, but in the process agrivates (that's his spelling now) an old injury and has to be carried off the field, right? Or at least, entertaining serious doubts about dating that guy with the double breasted overcoat and the expensive striped shirts who always wears a tie and diamond cufflinks who drives a sports car or is otherwise being driven by a chauffeur (with hat) and leaving him for Hildago the ageing lineman who (bah you get the idea)?

Right?
posted by NekulturnY at 8:37 AM on September 26, 2002

Damn I so want to date you (I have this thing for "seventies" blondes, you know)

Pick me! Pick me!

posted by NekulturnY at 8:38 AM on September 26, 2002

all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Fark 'cause they've got all the Photoshoppery!

So that's what I've been doing wrong? More of this will help me pick up chicks?
posted by ook at 9:40 AM on September 26, 2002

Well, maybe not more of that.
posted by me3dia at 9:48 AM on September 26, 2002

ook?
posted by urban greeting at 10:03 AM on September 26, 2002

and Head coach owillis

Gotta write up some ball plays.

"Pancake - fuckwit - 9622 - HIKE!"
posted by owillis at 10:57 AM on September 26, 2002

I call bench warmer.
posted by rocketman at 11:57 AM on September 26, 2002

agrivates

I know, I know.. I saw it when I hit the 'post' button. I can't even blame it on being drunk. But you mispelled 'aging' once, so that cancels out my mistake. Now everybody hug!
posted by Hildago at 12:02 PM on September 26, 2002

Ook's picture is even funnier when you look at the URL.
posted by emyd at 12:41 PM on September 26, 2002

"diamond cufflinks " to a football game?! No, no, no. Gold monogram, black onyx or possibly engraved silver but never diamonds.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 2:37 PM on September 26, 2002

i've never been to fark before... what a dump...!
*developing mad crush on every single member of mefi*
posted by t r a c y at 3:14 PM on September 26, 2002

I know, I know.. I saw it when I hit the 'post' button. I can't even blame it on being drunk. But you mispelled 'aging' once, so that cancels out my mistake.

*cough* Actually, I copy-pasted, so that would have been your mistake as well. But carry on, carry on. How's the knee, by the way?





posted by NekulturnY at 9:48 AM on September 27, 2002

my nee iz fyne. yoo?
posted by Hildago at 12:43 PM on September 29, 2002