Spoonfed used to host a metatalk parody that's gone now

June 6, 2005 5:21 PM

metatalk parody. no comment from me, i'll leave that to everyone else.
posted by yhbc to MetaFilter-Related at 5:21 PM (2684 comments total)

yes?

what.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:26 PM on June 6, 2005

*looks at dates*

...and this came from where?
posted by C17H19NO3 at 5:29 PM on June 6, 2005

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!

We
have
a
winner.
posted by gramschmidt at 5:31 PM on June 6, 2005

Terse agreement with call-out in original post.
posted by casu marzu at 5:36 PM on June 6, 2005

<meta>Circle-jerking narcissists parodying the way they talk about themselves.</meta>
posted by Ryvar at 5:37 PM on June 6, 2005

ohhhh. I get it. You are saying that the infamous "9622" thread is like MetaTalk. AH HA HA HAHAHAHAAAA HA HAA HA. HA. haha. ha. *ahem*
posted by exlotuseater at 5:39 PM on June 6, 2005

yhbc has been waiting a long time to do this. I can't decide if it is gross trolling or brilliant satire.
posted by geekyguy at 5:41 PM on June 6, 2005

I just noticed that the old MeFi thread and this current MeTa thread are both "9622"s...
posted by C17H19NO3 at 5:42 PM on June 6, 2005

yes. and for that, I give kudos. [not the ridiculous fake-ass chocolate bar thingy]
posted by exlotuseater at 5:49 PM on June 6, 2005

mmm, fake-ass chocolate bar thingy...

*drools*
posted by C17H19NO3 at 5:51 PM on June 6, 2005

Threat to sever own extremity if not determined to be correct in MeFi argument.
posted by LionIndex at 5:55 PM on June 6, 2005

(droll comment and obscure witticism)
posted by I EAT TAPES at 5:56 PM on June 6, 2005

Sarcastic comment about other participants in the thread who have no sense of humor.
posted by casu marzu at 5:57 PM on June 6, 2005

drunken spasm.
posted by greasy_skillet at 5:59 PM on June 6, 2005

Evolution at work. ;-P
posted by mischief at 6:04 PM on June 6, 2005

(reference to alcohol and futile absurdist plea for peace)
posted by jonmc at 6:38 PM on June 6, 2005

Egregious insult about the intelligence, morality, or motivation (or all three) of a poster based on how what they've written before is a repudiation of what they are now espousing.
posted by birdsquared at 6:39 PM on June 6, 2005

Comment on how metatalk is deteriorating; plea for newbies to shut up and let Matt do his job.
posted by mygothlaundry at 6:43 PM on June 6, 2005

Flinging of poo.
posted by me3dia at 6:44 PM on June 6, 2005

i love you yhbc.
posted by eyeballkid at 6:44 PM on June 6, 2005

Christ. I've been a member of this site for three years, and I just completely don't get this at all. At. All. Help me out, commish. Anyone? Are you literally just complaining that Metatalk has become too chatty? Man I feel dumb...
posted by jonson at 6:45 PM on June 6, 2005

Insertion of horizontal rule preceded by explanation of implied meaning should further posts appear below said rule.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 6:45 PM on June 6, 2005

Accusation of hypocricy and cognitive dissonance, with multiple links to subject's posting history.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:46 PM on June 6, 2005

what what


posted by cmonkey at 6:47 PM on June 6, 2005

Insensitive put-down suggesting that yhbc needs to go outside and get a life.
posted by dg at 6:49 PM on June 6, 2005

*firebombs own tank*
posted by quonsar at 6:58 PM on June 6, 2005

My cat's breath smells like Domo-Kun.
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:00 PM on June 6, 2005

cmonkey, I totally nailed her.
posted by I EAT TAPES at 7:02 PM on June 6, 2005

Inappropriate lewd comment.
posted by orange swan at 7:05 PM on June 6, 2005

Reference to bucket of cocks.
posted by stet at 7:06 PM on June 6, 2005

I thought we weren't going with picture sigs.
posted by Feisty at 7:11 PM on June 6, 2005

mildly witty but mostly annoying tagline.
posted by keswick at 7:14 PM on June 6, 2005

what?


posted by puke & cry at 7:15 PM on June 6, 2005

no fair posting my drag pics.
posted by jonmc at 7:15 PM on June 6, 2005

Incredibly
long
posting
of
song
lyrics
that
only
tangentially
apply.

I
mean
it!
Long
Long
Long

Repeat
Chorus
even.

So
that
one
is
forced
to drag
the
cursor
downward.

Long
Long
Long.

And
you
wonder
why
anyone
would
have
that
much
free
time.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:25 PM on June 6, 2005 [1 favorite]

Comment from sockpuppet accusing others of using sockpuppets.
posted by Kwantsar at 7:31 PM on June 6, 2005

Brilliant. Of course, it's easy to think of things like this when you spend the morning watching "Jenny Jones" in your boxer shorts while the rest of the civilized world is working.
posted by ColdChef at 7:33 PM on June 6, 2005

Insert haiku here
if you have the intellect
to think one up.
posted by mischief at 7:35 PM on June 6, 2005

posted by darukaru at 7:37 PM on June 6, 2005

Acknowledgment that the subject matter and/or the phrasing of the post may not have been understandable to all members; profuse apologies.

Vigorous assertion of good intentions! Appeal to community-building, continuity and appreciation of shared history, et al.

Lame summation of previous points. One-liner which hopefully will be later quoted as a tagline.

On preview: vicious verbal assault on ColdChef's parentage.
posted by yhbc at 7:37 PM on June 6, 2005

Gentle, less-than-serious callout of puke & cry for posting lame picture.
posted by Kwantsar at 7:38 PM on June 6, 2005

A second successive annoying post, making the obvious point that poster missed the annoying picture from third party, immediately before his post about second party's annoying picture.
posted by Kwantsar at 7:39 PM on June 6, 2005

watching "Jenny Jones" in your boxer shorts

Jenny Jones is wearing Da Commish's boxers? They must go up over her head.
posted by jonmc at 7:40 PM on June 6, 2005

Apology for confusing syntax tied clumsily to apology for sidetracking the thread.
posted by Kwantsar at 7:40 PM on June 6, 2005

Suggestion that someone "flag it and move on."
posted by [!] at 7:40 PM on June 6, 2005

MetaFilter: One-liner which hopefully will be later quoted as a tagline.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 7:44 PM on June 6, 2005

Reference to fabled "cult thread" that seemed funny at the time, but now seems embarrassing and a complete waste of time.

Comment asking what happened to signal, mattpfeff, tj, kafkaesque, kokogiak, zempf, Miguel, goneill, j.edwards, Optamystic, evanizer, and all the rest who made me laugh so hard for so long...
posted by ColdChef at 7:47 PM on June 6, 2005

Sad realization that others have moved on leaving me stuck here with you fuckwads.
posted by ColdChef at 7:48 PM on June 6, 2005

Acceptance. *flings*
posted by ColdChef at 7:48 PM on June 6, 2005

Non-sequitur in attempt to turn argument into unrestrained silliness.
posted by weston at 7:49 PM on June 6, 2005

Lengthy expression of outrage* that cannot be adequately conveyed by "flagging it."

* Tangential snark about ColdFusion reliability.
posted by Galvatron at 7:49 PM on June 6, 2005

Maude Lovejoy tagline.
posted by y2karl at 7:49 PM on June 6, 2005

A clumsy refrence to vibrating pancakes in pastel suits.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:53 PM on June 6, 2005

Oops, Helen Lovejoy impression, that is...

*Nelson Muntz impression at self to the 2nd power*
posted by y2karl at 7:54 PM on June 6, 2005

maude is Flanders wife. The Rev's wife is named Helen.
posted by jonmc at 7:54 PM on June 6, 2005

phew. you've restored my faith in you.
posted by jonmc at 7:55 PM on June 6, 2005

Irritated suggestion that earlier poster's account being free of charge implies lack of reliability obligations, followed by sniveling suck-up to site creator.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 7:56 PM on June 6, 2005

Offhanded request for feature that would cost site creator thousands of dollars and thousands of hours recreating site from scratch. Indignant comment suggesting that he should have allowed for this feature six years ago when this site was put together on a lark and the technology for the feature didn't exist.

Confession that I have no idea how computers, the internet, or even basic toasters work.
posted by ColdChef at 8:05 PM on June 6, 2005

We'll never reach 1700.
posted by iconomy at 8:33 PM on June 6, 2005

Following along with in-joke that commenter wasn't bright enough or quick enough or possibly registered enough to follow along with the first time around.
posted by furiousthought at 8:34 PM on June 6, 2005

bitter envious castigation of administrator.
posted by quonsar at 8:34 PM on June 6, 2005

Droll comment noting that the person who started this thread is a member of the 14k brigade and how cool is that?
posted by dg at 8:41 PM on June 6, 2005

Comment about eating an item featured in a prior comment.
posted by I EAT TAPES at 8:44 PM on June 6, 2005

feelingnostalgic
posted by ColdChef at 8:47 PM on June 6, 2005

Wa-a-a-ay overdue obligatory link to 9622.net.
posted by wendell at 8:50 PM on June 6, 2005

PLEASE
OBLIVIATE
PANCAKES
MATT?!

...they vibrate
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:03 PM on June 6, 2005

Suggestion that the #mefi cabal should be more open in their practices for governing MetaFilter.
posted by Galvatron at 9:07 PM on June 6, 2005

[short statement which hopefully conveys how very excellent I think this is]
posted by anastasiav at 9:09 PM on June 6, 2005

Adjective verbing past possessive noun.
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:15 PM on June 6, 2005

I missed the post referenced in the post about the post. Could SOMEONE PLEASE start a new post somewhere so I can catch up?
posted by arse_hat at 9:17 PM on June 6, 2005

Mention that this is all Bush's fault.
posted by jasper411 at 9:19 PM on June 6, 2005

*Puzzled silence*

Now how the heck did that happen?
posted by warbaby at 9:23 PM on June 6, 2005

post indicating I have read this far in the thread
posted by bdave at 9:28 PM on June 6, 2005

Oblivious comment asking what "." means.
posted by deborah at 9:34 PM on June 6, 2005

.
posted by nobody at 9:34 PM on June 6, 2005

If the above image shows any human beings whatsoever, something has gone horribly wrong. Check your BIOS.
posted by nobody at 9:35 PM on June 6, 2005

If the above image shows any human beings whatsoever, something has gone horribly wrong. Check your BIOS.

Unnecessary paste of comment from the comment immediately previous, forgetting to close italics tag.
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:40 PM on June 6, 2005

Generic 23k'er mocking his elders and nearly attaining a self-righteous state of zen.
posted by hototogisu at 9:41 PM on June 6, 2005

Backhanded MonkeyFilter slight.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:49 PM on June 6, 2005

[malformed img tag that breaks the thread]
posted by nobody at 9:50 PM PST on June 6 [!]


I deleted the image and nobody's been given a time out. Drama queens.
posted by mathowie at 9:51 PM PST on June 6 [!]


Thanks. Sorry about that. It was an honest mistake.
posted by nobody at 9:52 PM on June 6, 2005

Comment consisting of a single "." left for no apparent reason.
posted by mexican at 9:52 PM on June 6, 2005

Invective excoriating number one for micromanaging threads.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:55 PM on June 6, 2005

Return invective observing mathowie's light touch and cool head.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:56 PM on June 6, 2005

I still have no idea what is going on but I blame the "I like cheese" guy from MonkeyFilter.
posted by arse_hat at 9:57 PM on June 6, 2005

goatse
posted by gramschmidt at 9:57 PM on June 6, 2005

invective for invective's sake.
posted by arse_hat at 9:58 PM on June 6, 2005

Impossibly bloviated request for even more pancakes.
posted by loquacious at 10:02 PM on June 6, 2005

mockery of conservative pancakes--opposing suggestion of liberal Belgian waffles proffered.
posted by hototogisu at 10:07 PM on June 6, 2005

Butters pancakes with ganja-butter, tops them with a wild mango fruit chutney and a brandy-cordial flambe whipped cream and a hooker.

img src="http://yourmom.com/knifebutt.jpg"
posted by loquacious at 10:18 PM on June 6, 2005

Description-as-comment pause:

Since we're in MetaTalk, I'm going to take this opportunity to call out my ghostly numerical neighbors:

Dammit, paramnesia and aperture priority:, I'm every bit as rabid a liberal as you are, but I'm calling you out. This is ridiculous. A single-link NewsFilter FPP laced with links to comments in another MeFi thread? I appreciate your agenda, but seriously, get your own blog, at least until you can pull these scraps into something more meaningful.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:19 PM on June 6, 2005

Observation that AskMe never got 9622'd
posted by jazon at 10:21 PM on June 6, 2005

Incensed and disbelieving comment that any images were deleted from thread, followed by incredulous disgust after viewing loquacious' img src link, follwed by general damning of the ease by which the cut-n-paste society lives, followed by maudlin reminiscing about when the internet was printed out on canary yellow paper and that's the way we liked it, followed by feigned resignation over the notion that knifebutt is the new goatse, concluded with sincerely offered contempt for just about everyone.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:25 PM on June 6, 2005

Dammit, WolfDaddy, I'm every bit as rabid a liberal as you are, but I'm calling you out. This is ridiculous. A single-link NewsFilter FPP laced with links to comments in another MeFi thread? I appreciate your agenda, but seriously, get your own blog, at least until you can pull these scraps into something more meaningful.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:29 PM on June 6, 2005

Plug for third-party software couched as innocuous answer to technical question.
posted by orthogonality at 10:56 PM on June 6, 2005

Self-deprecating remark that DaShiv's photo skillz would make me look much better than I really do.

Thermonuclear flame threatening physical retribution directed at poster who impugned me inadvertently.

Summon generally maligned MeFite to join discussion so that their posts can be tasered.

/self described action verb
posted by birdsquared at 10:56 PM on June 6, 2005

Finds some nonsensical approach to issue, posts, successfully derails thread.
posted by Lynsey at 11:12 PM on June 6, 2005

Obligatory reference to 1142.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:26 PM on June 6, 2005

Jebus Guys. Seriously. How did you miss this?

MetaTalk: Circle-jerking narcissists parodying the way they talk about themselves.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:26 PM on June 6, 2005

An unbelievably long and long-winded exposition on a hot political subject by a subject matter expert or a first-hand witness, cut and paste from the online article from which it was taken, and likely a very cogent point of fact that would significantly inform the reader and assist in forming a quality opinion (and one that is likely to be more "liberal" or cynical of the government's claim or ability to do "good"), if only one should read it, but probably won't, as it is indeed very long, very wordy, and very small.

The remaining paragraphs are cut and paste from the Christian Science Monitor, a surprisingly liberal publication. The Boston Globe reported Sunday that the provision in the bill, sponsored by committee chair Republican Senator Pat Roberts of Kansas, "would lift one of the last restrictions on special warrants the FBI can obtain through a secret court originally set up to monitor foreign spies: that the information the bureau wants must be related to international terrorism or foreign intelligence."

Instead, the FBI could use the warrants, which bypass normal constitutional safeguards, to look for evidence of unrelated crimes that it could use to get suspects off the street. The wiretap provision is one of three major additions in the draft bill, which would reauthorize the Patriot Act, the package of enhanced law enforcement powers enacted after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

If the bill became law, it also would give FBI agents the power to write their own subpoenas without permission from a judge, allowing them to seize records from hotels, banks, and Internet service providers. This provision would require the FBI to make periodic reports to Congress about how often it uses that power to obtain library records, bookstore and firearms sales receipts, and medical or tax records.
CNN reported in late March that conservative and liberals groups who are normally "at each other's throats" will work together to "gut major provisions" of the current anti-terrorism law.

Gregory D. Miller, US attorney for the Northern District of Florida, writes in The Tallahassee Democrat that concern about the Patriot Act being used for non-terrorist related criminal investigations has proven unfounded.
To date, the act's delayed notice provisions have been used in less than one-fifth of 1 percent of all federal search warrants. In one of the rare but critical instances in which delayed notice was employed, the act enabled agents to secretly seize more than 30,000 pills of the hallucinogen ecstasy from a drug courier without jeopardizing the long-term investigation of the international drug organization that employed him.

That's 30,000 pills that never made it to the streets, or the nightclubs, or the college campuses for which they were destined. In the massive take-down that took place fewer than 30 days after the ecstasy seizure, investigators put that drug organization out of business, arresting more than 100 of its key members. The Patriot Act enabled law enforcement to take those drugs off our streets, without tipping off the people responsible for their distribution.
The Washington Post reports on one case where the Patriot Act was used as it was originally intended, that of former University of South Florida professor Sami al-Aria, who was indicted in 2003 on charges of "conspiracy to commit racketeering through the murder of Israelis, money laundering and other crimes."
US officials were allowed to use the FISA [Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act] intercepts in the case because the USA Patriot Act of 2001 and a FISA appeals court decision in 2003 had torn down the long-unbreachable wall between FBI criminal investigators and intelligence personnel. The legal wall had previously prevented FBI intelligence agents from sharing any information about the FISA taps with agents pursuing criminal cases.
But Anita Ramasastry, a columnist for FindLaw.com, a legal resources website, argues that not only should some of the previous sections of the act be scrapped, but that adding some of these new wiretap sections are a direct assault on the US Constitution.
PAREA should be rejected, or substantially modified to allow review by a neutral judge (a federal judge, not an administrative judge).

The government has obtained a broad range of powers in intelligence investigations – especially against foreigners, but also against US citizens. Given the secrecy with which these investigations are conducted, their wide scope, and the lack of checks and balances, independent judicial review – requiring a factual premise and particularized suspicion for a subpoena to be authorized – are the very minimum required to safeguard our liberty.
In an editorial, The Muskegon [Michigan] Chronicle argues that even if the Act is renewed, the current Act's "Sunset Provisions" must be renewed as well.
Last week, the Senate Intelligence Committee began work -- in secret, no less -- to mark up a new Patriot Act with even tougher provisions that among other things would allow for the issuance of "administrative subpoenas" not requiring the permission of a judge who has reviewed the evidence beforehand. Minority Democrats are too weak to put up much opposition, but let's at least hope that a bipartisan majority of legislators has enough sense -- and yes, patriotism -- to tack similar sunset provisions onto this next Patriot Act.

Otherwise the "War on Terror," at least from a constitutional standpoint, is liable to go on forever. To paraphrase a line from a current movie, is this how liberty dies?
The San Francisco Chronicle is also critical of the decision to hold these hearings behind closed doors. Sen. Roberts has said in the past that he needs to hold these meetings in secret because of the sensivitity of the intelligence matters being discussed. But the Chronicle argues that a "closed-door session would allow the committee to expand a law that affects the basic freedoms of the American people without public scrutiny or debate."

In an editorial for usatoday.com, Sen. Roberts argues, however, that the Congress needs to give the FBI "all legal tools" to fight terrorism, which it will use within its constitutional limits.
Today's FBI honors the rule of law, is bound by executive orders and attorney general guidelines, and is subject to vigorous oversight by congressional committees that will monitor closely how it uses administrative subpoenas. In four years, I predict we will find again that the tool was used wisely and that allegations of abuse are not supported by facts - and Americans will be safer.
But the Detroit Free Press reports that Democratic Sen. Diane Feinstein of California, who is also on the Senate Intelligence Committee and plans to press for the hearing to be made public starting Tuesday, was skeptical of her colleague's claims. "This is a very broad power, with no check on that power. It's carte blanche for a fishing expedition." Christian Science Monitor

A short comment.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:52 PM on June 6, 2005

Calls everyone a cuntface and apologizes profusely if it's already been covered in same thread.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:56 PM on June 6, 2005

Clumsily trawls and trolls thread with ridiculously tired ad hominem attacks and straw man arguments, leaping sideways to molest Godwin's foul corpse with a dead trout and then surreally insults your mother's choice in undergarments and footwear in a feeble attempt to increase the posting quantity in hopes of actually reaching 1700 comments.

Realizing he fails, conjures quonsar with a +20 prime-choice Zippy quote and baiting Ethereal Bligh with the raw flesh of real live babies and some freshly juiced dios.
posted by loquacious at 12:15 AM on June 7, 2005

makes popcorn, passes it around.
posted by schyler523 at 12:19 AM on June 7, 2005

Laughs and points at the AlexReynolds Drama Queen Flame-Out. Again.
posted by geekyguy at 12:34 AM on June 7, 2005

BOLD AND UPPERCASE REQUEST TO PLEASE REMAIN ON TOPIC!!!!!!
posted by Frisbee Girl at 12:39 AM on June 7, 2005 [1 favorite]

Where have all the ponies gone?
posted by Tarrama at 12:43 AM on June 7, 2005

Emits randomly chosen gross bodily fluids into bucket of popcorn which is mysteriously already soggy and passes it on while attempting to derail the rerailed topic with dead baby jokes.
posted by loquacious at 12:43 AM on June 7, 2005

Cries out in aggravation for having missed all the damn parties and call-outs, excuses self for only being lurker for years and years while waiting for opportunity to spend five goddamn dollars and expects his goddamnit' money's worth!!

Oh, and likes pancakes and whatnot.
posted by bigbigdog at 12:53 AM on June 7, 2005

Doesn't this belong in MetaTalk?
posted by loquacious at 12:58 AM on June 7, 2005

posted by loquacious at 1:09 AM on June 7, 2005

Vituperative statement regarding comments of scatological and flatulent nature so as to imply moral and intellectual inferiority of comment authors followed by obligatory complaint that MeTa's good old days are long gone.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 1:22 AM on June 7, 2005

*prays against all hope to not have nightmares about midget, bucktoothed, tweaker bears*
posted by Frisbee Girl at 2:03 AM on June 7, 2005

five dollar n00b saying something that someone has already said before about not quite understanding the joke.
posted by handee at 2:10 AM on June 7, 2005

.
posted by puddinghead at 2:11 AM on June 7, 2005

Standard comment about this thread needing more cowbell, with added bonus of related animated gif.


posted by iconomy at 2:29 AM on June 7, 2005

something about not wanting to see rectum
posted by mr.marx at 2:31 AM on June 7, 2005

Reminder what metatalk is really about, also in suitable animated gif form
via
posted by dhruva at 2:43 AM on June 7, 2005

five dollar n00b finally getting it
posted by handee at 2:45 AM on June 7, 2005

guyz remeber to not use picturez too mcuh won't sumone pleeze think of teh bandwidth
posted by gramschmidt at 2:54 AM on June 7, 2005

Dammit, gramschmidt, I'm every bit as rabid a liberal as you are, but I'm calling you out. This is ridiculous. A single-link NewsFilter FPP laced with links to comments in another MeFi thread? I appreciate your agenda, but seriously, get your own blog, at least until you can pull these scraps into something more meaningful.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:57 AM on June 7, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:58 AM on June 7, 2005

Observation about something making the baby Jesus cry.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 2:59 AM on June 7, 2005

Statement revealing that I have no real information about the subject at hand, or reason for posting. Insert obvious rhetorical question here?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:07 AM on June 7, 2005

Bucket. Cocks.
posted by tr33hggr at 3:43 AM on June 7, 2005 [1 favorite]

1) YHBC sees auspicious thread number approaching.
2) Hatches brilliant scheme.
3)????
4) PROFIT!!!
posted by tizzie at 3:48 AM on June 7, 2005

Oh, yeah - I'm taking this moment to announce that I'm officially leaving MetaFilter.
The reason for this is obvious, as I opened my fridge this morning and realised there wasn't any milk.

So now I'm heading off to the store, perhaps to purchase some celery and a few other items as well. Please don't expect me to ever retrn to MeFi again until about 45 minutes from now, when I'll go off on some preceived slight which I'll spot in spite of promising myself I'd put the this thread and ninja videogame discussion behind me.

[I've now launched off in an unwarranted rambling diatribe against Matt, in a misguided effort of making myself feel superior to everyone. I'm also informing newcomers to this thread that I'm indeed stepping out for a bit, rather than merely logging off minus the fanfare. LOTS of CAPITAL LETTERS are randomly included to better express my rapidly escalating VITRIOL. Having realised Matt hasn't had a chance to respond yet, as I'm still previewing the post, I berate him some more...]
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:05 AM on June 7, 2005

5 dollar n00b reads Smart Dalek's post and is pleased that now there is one less 14ker to worry about.
posted by handee at 4:07 AM on June 7, 2005

Pipes in about something or somebody being "creepy".
posted by taz at 4:11 AM on June 7, 2005

5 dollar n00b tries to ingratiate herself with the in-crowdcabal by using as many in-jokes in a 9622 thread as possible.

Metafilter: so these 14kers, they're vibrating bucket of drama queens?
posted by handee at 4:16 AM on June 7, 2005

Invoking of "Summon Bevets" card.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:05 AM on June 7, 2005

I'd hit it.
posted by ChrisTN at 5:06 AM on June 7, 2005

Hate-filled invective aimed at yhbc for re-posting something which everyone has already seen on Kottke, BoingBoing, Fark and LGF.
posted by blag at 5:07 AM on June 7, 2005

narcissist bitch camgirl wannabe objects to violation of personal photostream.
posted by quonsar at 5:11 AM on June 7, 2005

notes the difference between mefi and fark is that fark works.
posted by quonsar at 5:13 AM on June 7, 2005

Flagging of this post as "double".
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:14 AM on June 7, 2005

Flagging of this post as "double".
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:16 AM on June 7, 2005

posted by blag at 5:17 AM on June 7, 2005

ZING ZANG
WIPPITY WOOOOOO
posted by jenovus at 5:19 AM on June 7, 2005

Also: has anyone seen my belt? This is a serious question.
posted by jenovus at 5:20 AM on June 7, 2005

NEVER MIND, FALSE ALARM: it was still between my teeth.
posted by jenovus at 5:22 AM on June 7, 2005

I ♥ the Commish, but I can't believe y'all haven't sent up the signal yet
posted by romakimmy at 5:44 AM on June 7, 2005

Scans the comments for funny remarks and then announces who "wins".
posted by iconomy at 5:50 AM on June 7, 2005

statement expressing glumness at arriving late to the thread.
posted by sciurus at 5:50 AM on June 7, 2005

Comment reminding users that the img tag is only here at the sufferance of #1, and that the shenanigans in this thread imperil our ability to ever see another STFU NOOB! picture here on MeTa.
posted by OmieWise at 6:01 AM on June 7, 2005

Sad attempt to make up for the fact that I didn't get an account before the original 9622 thread closed.
posted by caution live frogs at 6:04 AM on June 7, 2005

Decloaks from Portugal to make effusive charming return to adulation of many and teeth gnashing of few.
posted by y2karl at 6:05 AM on June 7, 2005

Snarky comment about this being just one more pissing contest.
posted by deborah at 6:08 AM on June 7, 2005

Posts far after the party has moved on, wonders why no one ever responds to 7k users posts.
posted by drezdn at 6:16 AM on June 7, 2005

Suggestion that the #mefi cabal should be more open in their practices for governing MetaFilter.
posted by Galvatron at 9:07 PM PST on June 6

#mefi cabal? Nonsense. I'm not aware of anyone on #mefi who wears red yarn around their wrist.
posted by dios at 8:58 AM on June 7, 2005

Repetitive whinging about server reliability even though he snuck in the back door and didn't pay the $5 cover charge.
posted by loquacious at 9:25 AM on June 7, 2005

Righteous indignation over lengthy inaccessibility of free Net Crack.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:31 AM on June 7, 2005

Repeated attempts to derail discussion rather than responding to the substance of post that challenges my ideological preconceptions; derail will include whinging about poster's use of small fonts, ad hominem attacks on poster, and specious speculation about poster's motivations.
posted by orthogonality at 9:33 AM on June 7, 2005

Repeated use of "STFU Lib'urls rants" as if they were (a) humorous, (b) biting satire, or (c) effective in any regard.
posted by dios at 9:42 AM on June 7, 2005

Punches orthogonality in the junk.

On preview: Punches dios in the junk as well.
posted by loquacious at 9:43 AM on June 7, 2005

/me likes being punched in the junk
posted by dios at 9:44 AM on June 7, 2005

Dangles participles fetchingly.
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:46 AM on June 7, 2005

Criticism of MeFi for being boyzone.
posted by matildaben at 9:49 AM on June 7, 2005

Tweaks WolfDaddy's participles.
posted by deborah at 9:58 AM on June 7, 2005

Comment containing identical observation as previous comment up-thread, thereby making it obvious that the poster was too lazy to read the whole thread.
posted by Specklet at 10:02 AM on June 7, 2005

Longs for hope from administrator.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:23 AM on June 7, 2005

Long, genteel comment using the subjunctive twice and quoting something in a foreign language. Further call for Miguel.

Muttered complaint about difficulty in posting a lighthearted bit of japery and maintaining light heart while being betrayed by server.
posted by languagehat at 10:25 AM on June 7, 2005

/me peforates asshat commenter.
posted by danOstuporStar at 10:27 AM on June 7, 2005

Attempts snarky comment but accidentally
posted by papercake at 10:39 AM on June 7, 2005

Explains that the attempted snarky comment above would have been really funny if someho the previous message was not sent before it was finished.
posted by papercake at 10:39 AM on June 7, 2005

Attempts to correct misspelling in previous post. Makes secon misspelling.
posted by papercake at 10:40 AM on June 7, 2005

Apologizes for the number of posts. Promises won't post again for a while.

Makes plaintive cry about having a rough day.
posted by papercake at 10:40 AM on June 7, 2005

*hands papercake a tubgirl lollypop*
posted by gramschmidt at 10:43 AM on June 7, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 10:43 AM on June 7, 2005

Can't help self, takes tubgirl lollipop and starts licking, with eyes closed.

Apologizes for posting so soon after promising not to.
posted by papercake at 10:48 AM on June 7, 2005

Spits on keyboard, monitor. Blames others and demands replacement.
posted by grateful at 10:51 AM on June 7, 2005

[nothing inside]
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:04 AM on June 7, 2005

Arrives late, as always.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:34 AM on June 7, 2005

Seemingly innocent request for financial assistance from other members.
posted by casu marzu at 11:35 AM on June 7, 2005

Futile denunciation of thread as ChatFilter.
posted by caddis at 11:40 AM on June 7, 2005

Expression of regret at not having arrived sooner.
posted by kenko at 11:44 AM on June 7, 2005

::::hugs metafilter::::
posted by Quadroonian at 11:44 AM on June 7, 2005

Pseudo profound statement summing up the entire thread.
posted by orange swan at 11:46 AM on June 7, 2005

Formal announcement that this is the end of the thread.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 11:47 AM on June 7, 2005

Secret Life of Gravy = Kwantsar = mcgraw = dfowler = TDDL = u.n. owen = Heywood Mogroot
posted by gramschmidt at 11:52 AM on June 7, 2005

quotes vaguely apropos Clash or Jam lyrics; inadvertantly re-summons jonmc.
posted by scody at 11:56 AM on June 7, 2005

Attempts to excuse the inexcusable by making appeals to authority in the form of mentioning yet again that I'm a lawyer, while in the same comment making clear my utter disregard for the 1st, 4th, 5th, and especially 8th Amendments.
posted by orthogonality at 11:57 AM on June 7, 2005

Announcement that some number of comments ending in two zeros will not be reached.
posted by languagehat at 12:01 PM on June 7, 2005

Logs on drunk naked, and questionably unwashed,. Posts lengty well-intentioned but confrontationald iatribe about something tangantial to the actual thread topic that devolve into therapy session; Posts are wife with strange and inexcsuable punctiation and typos. and Posts immediate follow-up apology in wrong thread and passes out, remembering nothing
posted by loquacious at 12:07 PM on June 7, 2005

Making nebulous references to unspecified comments and asserting baseless and unsupported legal critiques of someone's argument beyond a mere ipse dixit throwaway line.
posted by dios at 12:08 PM on June 7, 2005

quotes vaguely apropos Clash or Jam lyrics; inadvertantly re-summons jonmc.

makes musically arcane and bumblingly flirtatious response. Then calls everyone hipster doofuses and passes out.
posted by jonmc at 12:19 PM on June 7, 2005

Betrays profound constitutional ignorance by assuming 14th amendment applies to cops who taser naxosaxur's nudism thread without her express written permission.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:19 PM on June 7, 2005

Brief comment posted in vain hope of having last word as thread prepares to scroll off MeTa front page.
posted by anapestic at 12:19 PM on June 7, 2005

Give self tug-job in front of newly created mosaic of 70x70 blurry jpegs of Mefites.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:23 PM on June 7, 2005

Remains stunningly true to form by pantsing jonmc, knowing he'll remember nothing in the morning.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:23 PM on June 7, 2005

barfs beer-foam over stealth pantser.
posted by jonmc at 12:41 PM on June 7, 2005

long impassioned diatribe on behalf of civic duty and polite consideration imploring all posters to reconsider their motivations before calling other out that is largely ignored because it's irrelevant.
posted by shmegegge at 12:42 PM on June 7, 2005

followed by snarky knee-jerk insult.
posted by shmegegge at 12:44 PM on June 7, 2005

and complete bewilderment at the fact that people object to knee-jerk snark.
posted by shmegegge at 12:46 PM on June 7, 2005

naxosaxur's nudism thread

Wow. I missed that one.
posted by Ryvar at 12:46 PM on June 7, 2005

Expression of dismay at general decline of MeTa. Regretful announcement of permanent departure.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:00 PM on June 7, 2005

Disgusted annoyance at lack of sympathetic response to permanent departure.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:15 PM on June 7, 2005

Gratuitously slimes member on personal shitlist while demanding third member show a minimum of class and apologize to fourth member for unfair treatment thereof.
posted by y2karl at 1:20 PM on June 7, 2005

Sarcastic request for someone to think about the children.
posted by anapestic at 1:22 PM on June 7, 2005

Premature attempt to post 200th comment to thread.
posted by anapestic at 1:25 PM on June 7, 2005

Expression of good riddance towards poster who has announced permanent departure.
posted by casu marzu at 1:27 PM on June 7, 2005

Request for permanently departed poster to reconsider.
posted by casu marzu at 1:29 PM on June 7, 2005

Gleeful observance of having posted the 200th comment.
posted by casu marzu at 1:30 PM on June 7, 2005

Dismissal of other members as fat, retarded drama queens, followed by self-righteous, unapologetic defense of the use of hotbutton terms, beginning with a "Sorry if I offended someone, but" and finishing with it's just a website, after all."
posted by me3dia at 1:40 PM on June 7, 2005

responds enthusiastically (in small type to indicate beginning of tangential music discussion) to band referred to in jonmc's flirtatious response; realizes first saw said band in early '80s; makes obligatory exhortation to fictional "kids" to get off fictional "lawn."
posted by scody at 1:41 PM on June 7, 2005

Quick post-publish amendment, in this case to insert a quote mark before "it's."
posted by me3dia at 1:43 PM on June 7, 2005

gets nervous about bands scody saw in the early 80's, defensively refers to record by 1960's outfit so obscure that even the members immediate family haven't heard it
posted by jonmc at 1:44 PM on June 7, 2005

Takes deep personal offense at being called a "fat, retarded drama queen". Demands apologies and recompense in the form of tar-and-feathering.
posted by casu marzu at 1:45 PM on June 7, 2005

stirs tar. plucks chickens.
posted by jonmc at 1:46 PM on June 7, 2005

deals with vegetarians angry response to chicken plucking.
posted by jonmc at 1:47 PM on June 7, 2005

Says something that pisses off enough people to drag this out another 800 posts.
posted by AlexReynolds at 1:49 PM on June 7, 2005

Whoah, 9622 has 1729 comments! 1729 is the smallest number expressible as the sum of two cubes two different ways.
posted by kenko at 1:49 PM on June 7, 2005

Pre-emptive observation that 300 will never be reached, and if it does, Matt should close the thread as by that time we'll have devolved into ee cummings.

Promise uttered that this will be poster's last comment in thread.
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:49 PM on June 7, 2005

makes reference to crying baby jesus, baby jessamyn, and mathowie's baby
posted by jonmc at 1:50 PM on June 7, 2005

Repeats demand for apology.
posted by casu marzu at 1:50 PM on June 7, 2005

After posting: breaks own promise in order to opine that it sure took a long time for some people to show up to the party, and just when poster is leaving it, too. Conpsiracies, coincidences, cabals all mentioned.
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:51 PM on June 7, 2005

only MetaFilter has such small hands
posted by papercake at 1:54 PM on June 7, 2005 [1 favorite]

breezily sidesteps issue of unheard-of 1960s record (jonmc wins this round!) with reference to mekons t-shirt

responds in preview to WolfDaddy with insouciant remark about shooter on the grassy knoll.
posted by scody at 1:56 PM on June 7, 2005

Vigorous back-slapping of kenko an irrational number of times. Oh, say, exp(pi*sqrt163) times.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:56 PM on June 7, 2005

Informs readers that Duke sucks. Posts. Reconsiders. Redirects browser to different website.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 1:58 PM on June 7, 2005

chimes back in: speaking of t-shirts and meetups, makes faux-hurt remark to matteo about his recently promised t-shirt shoutout that never materialized; summons splatta, plutor, or nomad.
posted by scody at 1:59 PM on June 7, 2005

I'd like to open a discussion on the seemingly growing trend of users pissing in threads. My opinion of these habitual thread-pissers is _____. My suggestion to Matt is _____.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 2:00 PM on June 7, 2005

ups obscurity ante by referring to Zambonis t-shirt that he is in fact wearing at this exact moment
posted by jonmc at 2:01 PM on June 7, 2005

Taps foot impatiently.

REPEATS DEMAND FOR APOLOGY IN ALL CAPS.

Lashes out angrily at various third parties.
posted by casu marzu at 2:05 PM on June 7, 2005

Creates unrecognizable sockpuppet account to rebut scody's insouciant grassy knoll nonsense, safe in the knowledge that sockpuppet's true identity will never be figured out.
posted by PapaLobo at 2:05 PM on June 7, 2005

Fashions a lusty screed based on own expertise in this area but quickly loses interest and makes smartass remark instead.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:07 PM on June 7, 2005

Notices entrance of sockpuppet, disdainfully observes that someone paid $5 for it.
posted by casu marzu at 2:08 PM on June 7, 2005

Glum return to thread following jessamyn's deletion of my MeFi post, which attempted to employ 9,622 hyperlinks as a means of mocking this discussion.
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:09 PM on June 7, 2005

pokes with stick.
posted by amberglow at 2:10 PM on June 7, 2005

Whoah, 9622 has 1729 comments! 1729 is the smallest number expressible as the sum of two cubes two different ways.

I forget where I read that story about Ramanujan . . . GEB?
posted by Ryvar at 2:13 PM on June 7, 2005

Points out this thread will never reach a high number of comments because Metafilter isn't up long enough for more than 2 or 3 comments before it crashes again.
posted by dios at 2:13 PM on June 7, 2005

Full os self-important scorn, notes that I didn't have to pay for my membership.

keeps to self thought that despite being an oldtimer, no one knows who I am
posted by raedyn at 2:16 PM on June 7, 2005

Breaks awkward syntactical tradition to say I don't know where you read it, Ryvar, but it's here, too.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:17 PM on June 7, 2005

Compulsively must apologize for spelling error, even though everyone knew what I meant.
posted by raedyn at 2:18 PM on June 7, 2005

flirtatiously compliments jon's zambonis shirt; attempts to get back in game by seeing jon's obscurity ante and raising it with a side of coincedence by mentioning that scody herself is wearing t-shirt of now-defunct band, whose lead singer (and friend of scody) once broke neck in a freak hockey accident; obligatory fawning sidenote about said band's label-mates, leading to wistful rose-colored-glasses remembrance of various music clubs in Chicago.

On preview: cheerfully retorts to raedyn that scody herself knows who she is.
posted by scody at 2:19 PM on June 7, 2005

obsessively track various comments in thread, makes not of them on user page.
posted by jonson at 2:32 PM on June 7, 2005

compulsively must apologize for spelling error ("not" = "note") even though everyone knew what I meant.
posted by jonson at 2:33 PM on June 7, 2005

Angrily lashes out at everyone for ignoring repeated requests for apology.
posted by casu marzu at 2:38 PM on June 7, 2005

Angry diatribe against evil pony-hating mathowie, followed by nostalgic plea for return to good old days when the site stayed up long enough to read a 1,729-comment thread [pauses to smack dios for joke theft] and all MetaFilter members were polite and brilliant and charming and dynamite in the sack.

Accuses everyone else of being ignorant fucking assholes who couldn't find their ass with a knife in both hands, and why do you have to take everything so personally anyway? Refuses to apologize for speaking the truth!

Days later, quietly confesses to having drunk three quarts of Scope mouthwash after mistaking it for Budweiser. Submits anonymous AskMe question titled "Crystal Meth: How Much is Too Much?"
posted by naomi at 2:38 PM on June 7, 2005

HAS
posted by casu marzu at 2:39 PM on June 7, 2005

APOPLECTIC
posted by casu marzu at 2:39 PM on June 7, 2005

FIT
posted by casu marzu at 2:39 PM on June 7, 2005

OVER
posted by casu marzu at 2:39 PM on June 7, 2005

MULTIPLE
posted by casu marzu at 2:39 PM on June 7, 2005

COMMENTS
posted by casu marzu at 2:39 PM on June 7, 2005

TOTAL FLAMEOUT.

Leaves under supervision of white-coated escorts.
posted by casu marzu at 2:40 PM on June 7, 2005

Secretly thinks casu marzu is being a total drama queen but decides not to risk saying it out loud.
posted by naomi at 2:40 PM on June 7, 2005

Just read this post from last night. Looks like a bit of drunk posting, huh?
posted by ericb at 2:42 PM on June 7, 2005

And even some today!
posted by ericb at 2:42 PM on June 7, 2005

Flags casu marzu's last comment as "fantastic" instead.
posted by naomi at 2:42 PM on June 7, 2005

inane last-minute contribution to thread, repeating what someone else already said
posted by neckro23 at 2:44 PM on June 7, 2005

checks jonson's user page to see if he's added any new grudges.

Asks naomi exactly which charming MeFites were dynamite in the sack.

considers snidely asking casu marzu if some money for busfare to Jeopardy! tryouts will help; decides against posting it for fear of opening up can of u.n.oworms
posted by scody at 2:44 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by brownpau at 2:45 PM on June 7, 2005

Ummm.
posted by ericb at 2:45 PM on June 7, 2005

Pedant corrects kenko, explains that 91 is the smallest number expressible as the sum of two cubes two different ways.

Pedant further suggests that kenko use "positive" as a qualifier in the future.
posted by Kwantsar at 2:48 PM on June 7, 2005

Casually recalls having seen jonmc's "1960's outfit so obscure that even the members' immediate family haven't heard it" when they played Maxwell's during a brief reunion in the early '80s (with a remark about having seen the Mekons there the following week and a flirtatious wink at scody); reminisces about the walk from the train station up Washington Street.

On preview, apologizes to casu marzu, though he can't remember what the apology is for.
posted by languagehat at 2:49 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by brownpau at 2:50 PM on June 7, 2005

Pays $5 to return as sock puppet from permanent departure, pleads with departed self to reconsider. Identifies D.S. as heart & soul of MeFi.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 2:55 PM on June 7, 2005

Lets everyone know that, I indeed would hit it.

Wonders what "." means.
posted by drezdn at 2:56 PM on June 7, 2005

posts noting that if we keep going we should reach 300 WOW!
posted by adamvasco at 2:57 PM on June 7, 2005

Uses sock puppet to say, "I'm not going to make this personal," then makes extremely personal attack on annoying member.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 2:59 PM on June 7, 2005

Also apologizes to casu marzu, although unlike languagehat, who may have known at one time what we're supposed to be apologizing for, has absolutely no idea why she should feel contrite about anything, but figures, hey what the hell, it's good for another comment in the thread.

But we'll never reach 1700.
posted by iconomy at 3:01 PM on June 7, 2005

When annoying member identifies sock puppet, accuses him of stalking.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:01 PM on June 7, 2005

Over-the-top attack on commenter who has said something that annoys me.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:03 PM on June 7, 2005

Pre-emptive attempt at justifying earlier attack.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:06 PM on June 7, 2005

Why does the god-damned library keep losing my returned books? This is like the second one this term. I'm going to have to go down there are find the damned things myself.

Just wanted to complain to someone.
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:09 PM on June 7, 2005

*devolves into e.e. cummings*

Incidentally, is also dynamite in the sack. Does this mean that e.e. cummings was also dynamite in the sack? *ponders*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:09 PM on June 7, 2005

Meekly offers to be a better-behaved person, having had a lengthy chat/email session with several senior MeFites, and swears everything will be different...a cursory examination of my user page, however reveals a cryptically elaborate revenge list aimed at specific MeFites over a period of days intended to coincide with the French Revolutionary Calendar.
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:11 PM on June 7, 2005

rushes to defend attack on commentator and then realises hasn't read post so is forced to prevaricate and then pretend to apologise.
posted by adamvasco at 3:12 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 3:13 PM on June 7, 2005

Hideously embarassing comment which will haunt user for years to come
posted by blag at 3:14 PM on June 7, 2005

What the fuck does WTF? mean?
posted by blag at 3:15 PM on June 7, 2005

WolfDaddy: devolved into ee cummings

a senselessly long rant about E. E. Cummings that must have taken 45 minutes to compose. rant includes: personal experiences in places E. E. Cummings may have been, eight different links proving that E. E. Cummings' name should be written with capitalized E's and C, weeping for the future of poetry, angst towards qulity [sic] of contemporary poetry. rant also references semi-obscure events from E. E. Cummings' life that demonstrate that the ranter is well-read on the subject.

meanwhile someone makes an ee cummings joke that makes the rant look boorish and petty.
posted by Kattullus at 3:18 PM on June 7, 2005

Godwins in attempt to bring some seriousness to discussion. Reacts with petulance at response. Sulks as follow up comments become more sarcastic. Feel secretly pleased at having derailed and taken over discussion. Ends with magnanimous remark making humourous, punning reference to jrun.
posted by jokeefe at 3:23 PM on June 7, 2005

Chastises blag for rehashing old bash.org jokes on MeFi.
posted by Ryvar at 3:23 PM on June 7, 2005

Nostalgic whine of complaint that the other 9622 thread was better. Non sequitur mentioning Quonsar, pants and fish added in order to slyly demonstrate understanding of Mefi injokes.
posted by jokeefe at 3:32 PM on June 7, 2005

Reference to head exploding.
posted by jokeefe at 3:34 PM on June 7, 2005

Fulsome apologies for increasing pace of posts. Vow of intent to 'turn off computer and go outside' made.
posted by jokeefe at 3:36 PM on June 7, 2005

Apology to casu marzu.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:38 PM on June 7, 2005

worries his comment kills the thread.
posted by sgt.serenity at 3:39 PM on June 7, 2005

Apology to jokeefe.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:39 PM on June 7, 2005

i had the last word.

and i still hate you all.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:46 PM on June 7, 2005

Beligerent denial of having copied joke from bash despite it being plainly obvious to an old-timer.
posted by blag at 3:47 PM on June 7, 2005

*Long-gone old timer making cameo appearance to tip hat to numerical synchronicity*
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:50 PM on June 7, 2005

mentions that I've begun drinking, having imbibed the first schlitz of the evening. references salt and nitrate-packed snack food.
posted by jonmc at 3:56 PM on June 7, 2005

Surprised yhbc didn't post this thread’s 22 & 96 comment, this being his work…napping?
[/joking];P
posted by thomcatspike at 3:56 PM on June 7, 2005

Really fucking annoying post destined to incurr wrath of every human being on the planet.
posted by blag at 3:59 PM on June 7, 2005 [1 favorite]

Wonders if the prodigal son is done fishing and is making a return.

Make that "Hopes".
posted by dios at 4:00 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by blag at 4:00 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by i_cola at 4:00 PM on June 7, 2005

Wonders if the prodigal son is done fishing and is making a return.

"here, calfy, calfy..."
posted by jonmc at 4:05 PM on June 7, 2005

Makes reprehensible joke about the boyzone; punchline = "dynamite in the sack."

Feels badly about it later.
posted by naomi at 4:10 PM on June 7, 2005

Posts nonsensically and enthusiastically to indicate that she was able to gain momentary access to thread.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 4:27 PM on June 7, 2005

*refreshes*
posted by Frisbee Girl at 4:30 PM on June 7, 2005

Emotionally distraught post asking why everyone is ignoring her when she only wants to know what "." means.
posted by deborah at 4:31 PM on June 7, 2005

gratuitous links to blogs full of great mp3z to prove he is still king of Obscure Mountain.
posted by jonmc at 4:33 PM on June 7, 2005

angrily tells deborah that it's an internet symbol of tribute and mourning and asks her testily to please try and keep up.
posted by jonmc at 4:34 PM on June 7, 2005

Jumps into pile-on like a rugger for the all-blacks.
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 4:36 PM on June 7, 2005

Comments on impending approach of double zero comment count on thread.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 4:38 PM on June 7, 2005

Posts triumphantly that she's the 300 commenter.
posted by deborah at 4:41 PM on June 7, 2005

Posts shamefacedly that this is the actual 300th post.
posted by deborah at 4:41 PM on June 7, 2005

non-sequiturious description of my dinner: sausage, peppers, and mozzarella sub. realizes that he would've prefered sweet or hot red peppers to green. makes do.
posted by jonmc at 4:43 PM on June 7, 2005

Points out that she got it anyway and offers to make her pancakes. Or was it waffles?
posted by Frisbee Girl at 4:43 PM on June 7, 2005

Awarded to deborah

Retinal-scarring use of the IMG, BLINK and MARQUEE tagsto denote successful MetaTalk clusterfuck as measured in some number of comments divisible by 100
posted by casu marzu at 4:47 PM on June 7, 2005 [1 favorite]

Realises he could have done so much better.
posted by blag at 4:50 PM on June 7, 2005

Makes pseudo snarky retort about how jonmc is constantly talking about music, food or alcohol. Realizes that she's craving a cheesesteak sandwich, wouldn't say no to a drink and has been without music, or a sense of humor, for days.

Wanders off, verbally scratching ass, but not before further derailing the thread by alternately opining and lamenting the differences between East Coast and West Coast delicatessens in a blatant and obtuse attempt to gain some kind of highly desired but always elusive 'street cred' with the use of references that few, if any, can decipher.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 4:56 PM on June 7, 2005

Can each of you loan me $5?
posted by squirrel at 4:58 PM on June 7, 2005

posts another "." knowing that two have already been posted, but hoping that everyone understands that poster knows that two have already been posted. hopes this constitutes some form of sophisticated humor.
posted by underer at 4:59 PM on June 7, 2005

realizes the count was off. washes hands until raw.
posted by underer at 5:00 PM on June 7, 2005

Calls thedevildancedlightly a racist for implying that all Blacks like to jump on people.
posted by purplemonkie at 5:06 PM on June 7, 2005

makes grilled 45 sandwich. realizes what he's done and drowns hi sorrows in Schlitz.
posted by jonmc at 5:06 PM on June 7, 2005

Repeated use of either the word "whappa" or "smock", meant to point out silliness of erstwhile opponent's argument or complaint.
posted by LionIndex at 5:08 PM on June 7, 2005

How dare squirrel imply (by asking people for DOLLARS) that all MeFites are Americans! How American to think everyone is American! I'm American, but I don't live there, so I'm exempt!

I also don't have $5. Do you want krónur? They've got fish on them...
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:14 PM on June 7, 2005

This thread is a litmus test.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 5:14 PM on June 7, 2005

Wonders aloud "WTF is a grilled 45 sandwich?"
posted by ericb at 5:15 PM on June 7, 2005

Mentions haughtily that instead of bitching about [subject of which poster has tenuous grasp on], that you all could just fucking well skip the post. [Possible use of "cabal" or "clique" here, if unnecessary.]
posted by papercake at 5:18 PM on June 7, 2005

Wonders aloud "WTF is a grilled 45 sandwich?"

Sighs. Explains that it's 45 as in 45rpm record in response to Frisbeegirl's "jonmc is constantly talking about music, food or alcohol." comment above.

Realizes that ericb may be too young to know what a 45rpm record is.

Cries. Drinks more beer.

Mentions that he's listening to Three Dog Night, apropos of nothing.
posted by jonmc at 5:18 PM on June 7, 2005

A 45 is a sort of analog equivalent to a CD single. 78's being LP's or long players, 45's were used for hit songs.

Back in the day. You know, when we had to use 'hampsters' to power the world wide web. And I was likely babysitting your older siblings.

On preview: tips her can of Iron City in jonmc's direction.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 5:21 PM on June 7, 2005

33's were long players, Frisbee Girl. 78's were what grandma listened to Bing Crosby on.

tips schlitz westward.
posted by jonmc at 5:22 PM on June 7, 2005

although you are one year older than me, so we can bitch at the young'uns together.
posted by jonmc at 5:24 PM on June 7, 2005

makes mention to jon of never having been to Spain; times jon's response
posted by scody at 5:26 PM on June 7, 2005

haha. I was listening to "Mama Told Me Not To Come," written by his majesty Randy Newman, but nice touch. But Winamp has moved on to Tim Hardin's "Reason To Believe", to be followed by Tim Rose's "Morning Dew." The 60's were really big on folkies named Tim.
posted by jonmc at 5:28 PM on June 7, 2005

even the tiny ones.
posted by scody at 5:29 PM on June 7, 2005

Dusts off old flashlight found in the attic, from before his time.

Wonders aloud: what is this? does is still work?


posted by casu marzu at 5:30 PM on June 7, 2005 [1 favorite]

gratuitously posts winamp playlist to destroy scody's hope of winning obscurantist pissing contest.
posted by jonmc at 5:30 PM on June 7, 2005

Staggers into the party a little late. . .
posted by Staggering Jack at 5:31 PM on June 7, 2005

even the tiny ones.

Tiny Tim's real name was Herbert Khaury. He was half-Jewish/half-Lebanese, which may explain a lot. or something.
posted by jonmc at 5:32 PM on June 7, 2005

in attempt to distract from terrifying playlist, casually asks which version of the Small Faces' "I'm Only Dreaming" jon prefers -- mono or stereo?
posted by scody at 5:35 PM on June 7, 2005

Waves to mr_crash_davis, points out that he made that migs signal .jpg a few posts above this comment, so give the man some credit when you use it, dammit!
posted by yhbc at 5:38 PM on June 7, 2005

mono, like all good Brit invasion fans.

casually asks scody if she knows that Ronnie Dante (the lead vocalist) of the Archies was briefly editor of the Paris Review.
posted by jonmc at 5:38 PM on June 7, 2005

approving remark about superiority of mono version stereo version; gratuitous reference to Steve Marriott and, tangentially, Paul Weller.

corrects jon that Dante was the publisher of the Paris Review, not the editor.

Sheepishly fesses in small type that she had to google that last bit to be sure.

breezy sign-off to indicate impending departure from work and lack of clarity regarding what to prepare and consume for dinner.
posted by scody at 5:44 PM on June 7, 2005

small-typed correction to previous post -- "mono version over stereo version" -- that is wholly unnecessary and irritating to everyone who isn't jonmc; really does leave now.
posted by scody at 5:47 PM on June 7, 2005

Suggests that someone take their conversation to email.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 5:57 PM on June 7, 2005

Now this is something I just don't get.
posted by gd779 at 6:03 PM on June 7, 2005

33's were long players, Frisbee Girl. 78's were what grandma listened to Bing Crosby on.

Well, that certainly explains my lifelong confusion between Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" and Disney's "It's a Small World" albums, doesn't it? And why my mother swore that I drove her to drinking and never let me touch the turntable again.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 6:05 PM on June 7, 2005

posts ". " to mark thread for future reference.

.
posted by exlotuseater at 6:07 PM on June 7, 2005

Misses crash_davis' hot ass more than he cares to admit in pubic.
posted by WolfDaddy at 6:11 PM on June 7, 2005

accuses somebody of being a shill, but claims not to care at all while defending it for the better part of 48 hours and 40 posts.
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 6:13 PM on June 7, 2005

Waits for the invocation of 'prying ____ from ___ cold dead hands' in response to WolfDaddy's post on crash's ass.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 6:19 PM on June 7, 2005

Posts noting the irony of casu marzu's posting the "hot-linking prohibited" graphic when casu is stealing her bandwidth with the "Oh the Drama" graphic.
posted by deborah at 6:22 PM on June 7, 2005

debates aloud whether to repeat a disgusting anecdote a freind told me the other day. figures to hell with it:

the other day, the guy I mentioned in this comment were having a smoke in front of our work building. I mentioned that I'd had mexican at Chipotle the night before and that it's have given me the "ring of fire," effect.

"Oh that sucks," he replied, "a buddy of mine in college got that so bad he grabbed a chapstick and applied it to his holiest-of-holies. An hour or so later his freind came over and said 'this wind is killing my lips, can i use your chapstick' 'go right ahead'"
posted by jonmc at 6:22 PM on June 7, 2005

Comment containing identical observation as previous comment up-thread, thereby making it obvious that the poster was too lazy to read the whole thread.
posted by blag at 6:33 PM on June 7, 2005

posts comment which entirely misses/ruins blag's joke.
posted by underer at 6:46 PM on June 7, 2005

Blatantly commandeers thread to trollpost about a political body which I think deserves more attention than any other matters discussed in this thread, relevant or otherwise.
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:15 PM on June 7, 2005

Comment wondering out loud about the 29 minute gap between the last two comments -- can't believe Matt's hardware would ever go down for that long.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:21 PM on June 7, 2005

Rewatches Schizopolis to use vague weird language to score points...

Realizes same points scored in 1700 comment thread, decides not to try to score points but continues to watch Schizopolis...
posted by schyler523 at 7:22 PM on June 7, 2005

lapses out of drama-queen-sulk to cancel all future meet-ups - mwwahhhahahaha!
posted by lilboo at 7:25 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by loquacious at 7:37 PM on June 7, 2005

Reflects seriously that for a parody, the posts in this thread really do encapsulate the entirety of the variety of modes of Meta: snarky, informational, rude, in-joke laden, stereotypical, character driven, obsessive, funny, strange, incomprehensible and above all - inimitably web-driven.

Oh, and you are all [more inside]
posted by birdsquared at 7:38 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 7:39 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by loquacious at 7:42 PM on June 7, 2005

Observation that the following image is the first thing yielded by a Google Image search of loquacious's user name:

posted by gramschmidt at 7:49 PM on June 7, 2005

States the obvious and points out that this is Mathowie's site.
posted by Tarrama at 7:51 PM on June 7, 2005

Curtseys shyly and observes that the following image is the first thing yielded by a Google Image search of gramschmidt's user name:


posted by loquacious at 7:54 PM on June 7, 2005

Waves at lilboo, shakes head at the rampant in-line imaging. Goes into spastic-dad mode and rants: Do you want that particular toy taken away?!? Well? Do you?!?!?!
posted by yhbc at 8:10 PM on June 7, 2005

Expression of surprise that people are still here.

Mock request to turn out the lights and lock the door when done.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:16 PM on June 7, 2005

Continues to read "yhbc" as "you have been ..." and gets confused.
posted by kenko at 8:46 PM on June 7, 2005

States, once again and for the record, that this is precisely why we just cannot have nice things, implying juvenile disrespect and overall ungratefulness on the part of the majority of MetaFilter readers and the patient longsuffering of #1 and his loyal minions.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 8:55 PM on June 7, 2005

Pre-emptively declares the thread over, turns out the lights.
posted by loquacious at 8:56 PM on June 7, 2005

Realizes that ericb may be too young to know what a 45rpm record is.

Wonders aloud what a "record" is?

Isn't that what teachers and administrators "keep on you?" And if it gets so fucked up you go to jail?
posted by ericb at 8:57 PM on June 7, 2005

Turns lights back on. Then off again. The on.
posted by loquacious at 8:59 PM on June 7, 2005

Corrects spelling. Throws lightswitch rave. Suddenly the thread is filled with 500 sweaty nerds bearing nitrous tanks, computers, flamethrowers, giant speakers and bongs of unusual size.
posted by loquacious at 9:02 PM on June 7, 2005

Peace.
posted by ericb at 9:04 PM on June 7, 2005

The 500 sweaty nerd ravers violently explode due to an overdose of kyoot, leaving behind only smoke and moist ceilings.
posted by loquacious at 9:09 PM on June 7, 2005

Complains about jonmc's excessive posting. Tries hard to think of obscure band to namedrop having seen/bonked lead singer/both before jonmc stopped using training wheels. Goes to read Pitchfork. Becomes depressed after new favourite band is trashed by evil Pitchfork reviewers. Wonders if perhaps jonmc was right about The Ramones. Decides no.

Looks around, realizes that everyone else has gone home. Underappreciated joke about 'getting a life' subsequently made to empty room. Follow up post made invoking "crickets".
posted by jokeefe at 9:24 PM on June 7, 2005

Takes a flying leap into jonmc/scody Obscure Band Competition by noting that he has actually FPP'd one.
posted by wendell at 9:31 PM on June 7, 2005

...but then again, I also FPP'd this band.
posted by wendell at 9:32 PM on June 7, 2005

...and I also FFP'd The Rocky and Bullwinkle Horror Picture Show.
posted by wendell at 9:35 PM on June 7, 2005

Links to this, hoping to find out, at last, if quonsar is glad to see me or is that a fish in his pants?
posted by Lynsey at 9:42 PM on June 7, 2005

Just wondering what it looks like this far down the page.
posted by arse_hat at 9:43 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by wendell at 9:46 PM on June 7, 2005

Attempts to get a game of red light green light going.

GREEN LIGHT
posted by drezdn at 9:57 PM on June 7, 2005

agrees with jokeefe about jonmc's excessive posting, blames it on the booze.
posted by raedyn at 9:59 PM on June 7, 2005

Considers posting Makes joke about how first they posted 9622 style jokes, and I did not speak out because I was not 1337

Reconsiders.
posted by drezdn at 10:04 PM on June 7, 2005

See, kids, first there was Jefferson Airplane. They became Jefferson Starship which eventually became Starship. No. Really.

Starship sang We Built This City - The Worst Song Ever
posted by geekyguy at 10:08 PM on June 7, 2005

Conjures black magick supergroup comprised of Cornelius Cardew, John Zorn, Herbie Hancock, Einsterzende Neubauten, Wesly Willis, Genesis Breyer P-Orridge, Jack Dangers, Diamanda Galas, Mos Def, the ever-battling two-headed chimera of Leonard Cohen and Tom Waits, the cyborg-zombie of Charles Mingus with Cab Calloway and Peter Frampton on a vocoder duet.

15 minutes into the graphically-scored free-interpreted free-jam cover of "Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun" the Sun actually explodes, but not before one person recieves an obscene limerick branded into them with a soldering iron, another loses a major limb to a dangerous musical "instrument" and someone else gives everyone but Wesly Willis an incurable but not life-threatening STD.

Just before the blastfront of the exploding Sun reaches Earth and destroys us all, jonmc scores with Diamanda Galas, becomes nearly mortally emotionally scarred by the patently traumatic experience and decides he might be gay.
posted by loquacious at 10:13 PM on June 7, 2005

Was the STD delivered via the BIOS? Cause that'd be wrong.
posted by geekyguy at 10:23 PM on June 7, 2005

Blanket accusation that every MetaFilter member is a troll.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:30 PM on June 7, 2005

Especially geekyguy and loquacious.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:31 PM on June 7, 2005

Dammit.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:31 PM on June 7, 2005

*gets feeling hurt in a serious way, is despondent for several days and then goes off and commits some bizarre, violent act that makes national headlines and compels mathowie to post a MetaTalk thread about it which subsequently compels several members to alternately and publicly soul-search, lash out, accuse, commiserate and accept*
posted by gramschmidt at 10:34 PM on June 7, 2005

Boastful statement concerning objective superiority resulting from five consecutive comments in borderline tiresome thread.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:36 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by wendell at 10:38 PM on June 7, 2005

It sucks but it's heading for 400!
posted by arse_hat at 10:41 PM on June 7, 2005

Punishes loquacious for throwing lightswitch raves.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:56 PM on June 7, 2005

Waits for inevitable scroll of TaglineFilter comments.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 10:59 PM on June 7, 2005

Reads, goes to bed without posting.
posted by mediareport at 11:07 PM on June 7, 2005

Late post making the same argument as 385 previous comments, because poster didn't have time to read the whole thread.
posted by mrbula at 11:08 PM on June 7, 2005

Rags on mediareport and mrbula for not being team players.
posted by arse_hat at 11:12 PM on June 7, 2005

MetaFilter: Reads, goes to bed without posting
posted by geekyguy at 11:13 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by loquacious at 11:13 PM on June 7, 2005

Drezdn: Attempts to get a game of red light green light going. GREEN LIGHT

Okay. Runs toward Drezdn; keeps running.

Since I'm here (running, I suppose), I'd like to point out how there are two different sorts of self-referential posts in this thread, and that I much prefer one sort over the other.

So very much better here are those posts that are descriptions of the type of post they are miming. Gramschmidt's "Boastful statement concerning objective [blah blah blah]" is this sort of post.

The other sort, the much less pleasurable form (imho), involves a present-tense verb-statement describing what the user is currently doing in making the current post. Drezdn's "Attempts to get a game of red light [blah blah blah]" is this sort of post.

Much nicer, I'd like to suggest, in my increasingly less humble opinion, would be to rephrase this as "Odd post suggesting that we get a game of red light green light going," in which case my response could be rephrased as "Lame response pretending to engage in said game, followed by a lengthy aside about the grammar used and misused in the thread up until this point, in which the occasional ellipsis is inexplicitly replaced with '[blah blah blah]'" (sic).
posted by nobody at 11:15 PM on June 7, 2005

Dammit, nobody, I'm every bit as rabid a liberal as you are, but I'm calling you out. This is ridiculous. A single-link NewsFilter FPP laced with links to comments in another MeFi thread? I appreciate your agenda, but seriously, get your own blog, at least until you can pull these scraps into something more meaningful.
posted by loquacious at 11:19 PM on June 7, 2005

Dammit nobody you are more loquacious than loquacious.
posted by arse_hat at 11:22 PM on June 7, 2005

huffy two-word statement combining nobody and third-person present-tense of the verb to care.
posted by scody at 11:24 PM on June 7, 2005

Throw-off comment probably punning on a user-name, indicating that nobody does indeed care.
posted by nobody at 11:29 PM on June 7, 2005

Parenthetical amendment after too-hurried prior comment: (or "indeed, nobody cares.")
posted by nobody at 11:34 PM on June 7, 2005

Considers posting pithy statement regarding use of username by user to slight other user as being seen as a potential challenge or request. Reconsiders. Dons arse-hat.
posted by loquacious at 11:36 PM on June 7, 2005

appreciative compliment lobbed at scody for (intentional?) paradox creation
posted by birdsquared at 11:37 PM on June 7, 2005

Angry, link-filled-rebuttal of nobody's attempt to distort history.
posted by mediareport at 11:38 PM on June 7, 2005

Posts 400th comment, misses.
posted by loquacious at 11:39 PM on June 7, 2005

[sheepish acknowledgement of not actually going to bed]
posted by mediareport at 11:39 PM on June 7, 2005

posted by geekyguy at 11:41 PM on June 7, 2005

"Reconsiders. Dons arse-hat." WooHoo!
posted by arse_hat at 11:42 PM on June 7, 2005

A conciliatory gesture of appreciation toward mediareport and scody, attempting to diffuse any anger previously expressed.

An additional sentence, which, in attempting to nuance or elaborate on the earlier gesture, ends up making everything just so much worse.
posted by nobody at 12:03 AM on June 8, 2005

Cheerful remark thanking birdsquared for compliment!

Friendly reassurance directed at nobody of actual lack of anger on part of self.
posted by scody at 12:36 AM on June 8, 2005

Wonders when will the hurting stop
posted by john at 1:03 AM on June 8, 2005

Pedantic observation that loquacious spelled "Einsterzende Neubauten" correctly but forgot the "e" in "Wesly Willis". Ends with an annoying emoticon to piss off Stavros.

;)
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:09 AM on June 8, 2005

Follow up in an attempt to show understanding made more obvious with link while maintaining lack of punctuation
posted by john at 1:11 AM on June 8, 2005

Non sequitur comment about seeing a robin today.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 1:15 AM on June 8, 2005

No longer non sequitur comment about borrowing a napkin from, propositioning and having pointless, decadent sex with a woman named Robin today.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:14 AM on June 8, 2005

Reconsiderate self-castigation for insensitive, boorish, stereotypically masculine behavior.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:17 AM on June 8, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:23 AM on June 8, 2005

Expression of outrage and base disgust toward gramschmidt regarding all women named 'Robin'. How dare he? That was my mother's uncle's sister's best friend's name before her parents decided to name her 'Rachel'!

Becomes deeply offending on the part of all women named 'Robin', everywhere, who have ever lived or ever plan to live. Insists that gramschmidt can, in no way, know the trials of being a 'Robin' then, now or in the future.

Demands apology on behalf of civilization itself.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 2:26 AM on June 8, 2005

Smugly posts in a way that indicates that she hopes gramschmidt is happy with himself now.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 2:28 AM on June 8, 2005

Re-reads initial post and realizes she wrote 'offending' instead of 'offended'. Sheepishly acknowledges typing in the heat of emotion, but wholeheartedly reaffirms righteous indignation on the part of all Robins everywhere.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 2:32 AM on June 8, 2005

Lengthy rumination over whether proper response is glum contrition, puff-chested bloviation, or absurdist stochasticism.

Dave Burch, noxious weed control coordinator in the Agriculture Department, said the state has about $2.1 million a year available for grants to help landowners kill weeds. That money comes from a $1.50 fee added to the cost of registering every vehicle in the state.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:48 AM on June 8, 2005

Diminutive query as to what the fuck two west coasters are doing propagating this asinine thread at this hour.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:51 AM on June 8, 2005

Lightens up in spite of self and begrudgingly registers amusement of choice of response.

Unless, of course, 'weed control' involves physical harm to robins! HEEEEEEY, waitaminit, mister!!
posted by Frisbee Girl at 2:56 AM on June 8, 2005

A quick review, restores sanity. (Or should I say 'sanity'?)
posted by Frisbee Girl at 2:59 AM on June 8, 2005

Two West Coasties? Who knew? We're holding down the fort until the 'All Clear' signal is issued...right? RIGHT?!?
posted by Frisbee Girl at 3:03 AM on June 8, 2005

Precisely. We're heroes. But where's OUR parade?!?
posted by gramschmidt at 3:18 AM on June 8, 2005

Dooood. I'd've called, but you mighta been asleep. It was here. Last Sunday. Carnaval. Right past the flat and we all watched it from the livingroom window. It was great, but no ponies. Not a single one. I wept.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 3:32 AM on June 8, 2005

You're being watched by an army of european office workers, postgrads, students and housewives, sat bored at our desks. We might parade soon.
snarky aside referring to thread in the blue
posted by handee at 3:33 AM on June 8, 2005

Ooooo!! Will you bring ponies? Can we be in the parade, too?

No, wait, does this mean you don't like us?

*runs off to read the blue*
posted by Frisbee Girl at 3:54 AM on June 8, 2005

I have no ponies, but I might be able to borrow a horse. Would that do?
posted by handee at 3:56 AM on June 8, 2005

off-handed remark about lack of tub-girl images thus far in thread.
posted by shmegegge at 3:58 AM on June 8, 2005

Attempt to rectify lack of tub-girl images swiftly removed by administrator.
posted by blag at 4:11 AM on June 8, 2005

*glares at shmegegge*

handee, horses are grand, I've just never seen a parade without some sort of equestrian animal before moving to SF. Apparently, here, the stilt walkers fill that niche, but it's just not the same without the pooper scooper clowns driving around in their mini mobiles.

On preview: *and blag*
posted by Frisbee Girl at 4:12 AM on June 8, 2005

Asides to European members that he loves a parade.
posted by WolfDaddy at 4:37 AM on June 8, 2005

*runs outside to grab a pony horse pony whatever those hooved mammals are that run wild 'round these parts. THOSE.*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:21 AM on June 8, 2005

Expression of relief about absence of flying cupids.
posted by anapestic at 6:14 AM on June 8, 2005

Quickly fires up photoshop to rehash an amusing image that was destined for another thread that was closed before it could be posted....



posted by qwerty155 at 6:18 AM on June 8, 2005

Immediately apologises as only folks from the UK are likely to get it.
posted by qwerty155 at 6:19 AM on June 8, 2005

Immediately apologises again for patronising non-UK mefiers
posted by qwerty155 at 6:20 AM on June 8, 2005

notices jokeefe and raedyn's comments about him, considers getting miffed, then realizes, hey, chicks dig me, whatta ya gonna do.
posted by jonmc at 6:35 AM on June 8, 2005

Pedantically insists that it's "Mefites," not "Mefiers". No mention of any amusement caused by the image. Secretly liking it.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:38 AM on June 8, 2005

GOOD MORNING!!!
posted by jonmc at 6:42 AM on June 8, 2005

WAKE UP, DAMMIT!!!
posted by jonmc at 6:46 AM on June 8, 2005

Mention that I must have fallen asleep at the keyboard.

Inclusion, for amusement's and posterity's sake, what my sleepy dreaming face wrote in my absence (made small because it's ugly):

ifhhidafjufaaaaaaap9fejcnkacsposaccccccccccclnv
posted by nobody at 6:46 AM on June 8, 2005

(And, seriously, I'm late for work. Thanks for the wakeup call, jonmc.)
posted by nobody at 6:48 AM on June 8, 2005

AUUUUUGH!! UP AND AT 'EM, LADIES!!!
posted by jonmc at 6:50 AM on June 8, 2005

LAST CALL!!!
posted by jonmc at 6:57 AM on June 8, 2005

NO, THERE'S MORE!

AND MORE!!

this concludes the jonmc morning show. thank you
posted by jonmc at 7:03 AM on June 8, 2005

*fires up photoshop again. hoping no-one will notice bleeding obvious mistake*

Makes irritable comment about someone being so pedantic whilst secretly glad someone had commented on image even if it is to point out an typo.
posted by qwerty155 at 7:12 AM on June 8, 2005

for no discernible reason, a virulent out-of-character ad hominem attack on last commenter followed by never commenting in this thread again.
posted by sciurus at 7:16 AM on June 8, 2005

Quickly posts RED LIGHT in an attempt to catch anyone still running.
posted by drezdn at 7:24 AM on June 8, 2005

Rebukes virulent out-of-character ad hominem attack, and requests explaination and apology whilst noting that they are a 14ker and thus my association are beyond reproach by any n00b.
posted by qwerty155 at 7:33 AM on June 8, 2005

five dollar n00b notes 14ker's referred to himself in the plural, and sniggers behind qwerty155's back
posted by handee at 7:37 AM on June 8, 2005

thought that qwerty155 was simply illustrating our British English name.
posted by geekyguy at 7:44 AM on June 8, 2005

Spots typo in last post and realises that 'my association' instead of 'by association' gives the impression that they are claiming to be leader of the 14kers.
Fails to apologise and instead request pony from Matt that we should be able to edit our comments after they have been posted.
posted by qwerty155 at 7:55 AM on June 8, 2005

GREEN LIGHT!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:19 AM on June 8, 2005

Notes that some material here is more appropirately located in one's own personal online journal, followed by pejorative suggesting such people are procreating idiots, not to mention theatrical matriarchs, and by doing so hopefully summons a downpour of Carol Bradys.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:24 AM on June 8, 2005

Pedantic observation that loquacious spelled "Einsterzende Neubauten" correctly but forgot the "e" in "Wesly Willis". Ends with an annoying emoticon to piss off Stavros.

Pedantic observation that neither loquacious nor KevinSkomsvold spelled "Einstürzende Neubauten" correctly.
posted by kenko at 8:35 AM on June 8, 2005

Unobtrusive and non-controversial comment intended to mark thread for future reference without being quite so obvious as those " . " posts.
posted by dersins at 8:42 AM on June 8, 2005

We'll never make it to 9622.
posted by soyjoy at 9:06 AM on June 8, 2005

Once again, with feeling.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:07 AM on June 8, 2005

Tells loquacious and arse_hat to get a room.
posted by deborah at 9:13 AM on June 8, 2005

Shoutout to simbi0tic. Say something, bitch.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:19 AM on June 8, 2005

Notes that John Kerry got 4 D's his freshman year at Yale, whereas George W. Bush only got 1.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:20 AM on June 8, 2005

Also notes that your grandma is seriously NSFW.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:22 AM on June 8, 2005

Would you attend a major fishkeeping event?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:28 AM on June 8, 2005

Whines quietly about just now seeing this thread.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:29 AM on June 8, 2005

Outdated pop culture comment about how I'm sticking my dick in the mash potatoes because I thought it was that kind of party.
posted by drezdn at 9:39 AM on June 8, 2005

History may judge me poorly, but I'm again abandoning the syntactical convention of this thread in an attempt to quickly push it to 500 comments.

The following is a list of my least favorite deities:

1) Djanggawul, the three siblings of Australian Aboriginal mythology who created the landscape of Australia and covered it with flora. Apparently, the two female Djanggawul made the world's sacred talismans by breaking off pieces of their vulvas.

Reason for disdain: Bad posture. All three of them. Posture is of prime import.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:18 AM on June 8, 2005

2) Mama Cocha, of Incan mythology.

Reason for disdain: Her tell-all biography of lake goddess Copacati is sleazy and poorly written. It makes Julia Philips look like Turgenev.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:26 AM on June 8, 2005

Makes comment about waking up in pile of beercans interspersed with popcorn, expresses desire for more...until realizes has $5 N00b sharpied on his forehead. Lashes out randomly, then sulks in corner...
posted by schyler523 at 10:34 AM on June 8, 2005

Uh, schyler, that's not sharpie ink.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:53 AM on June 8, 2005

Flips out, knocks over drinks, flings poo that as yet hadn't been flung, pees in everyone elses popcorn, sodomizes a mule, and then glares at everybody...
posted by schyler523 at 11:04 AM on June 8, 2005

Posts apology for outrageous actions, offers pancakes as peace offering...vows to never emulate bukowski in-thread again...
posted by schyler523 at 11:07 AM on June 8, 2005

*stares in horror at poor sodomized mule*

But...but...but, I thought we were going to use him in the parade!!

*weeps*
posted by Frisbee Girl at 11:10 AM on June 8, 2005

Explains that we were going to misuse him before the parade.
posted by kenko at 11:19 AM on June 8, 2005

3) Yahweh

Reason for disdain: This guy is responsible for Pat Robertson and Rick "Santorum" Santorum? What a maroon.
posted by gramschmidt at 11:20 AM on June 8, 2005

Well as long as someone's got the mule, that's fine by me. I just spent the good part of an hour getting this piano up the stairs, and you don't want to know where I got the razor blade....
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:35 AM on June 8, 2005

yells at gramschmidt for getting santorum on the thread...then sheepishly admits that sodomizing the mule isn't much better...tells gramschmidt to carry on...
posted by schyler523 at 11:45 AM on June 8, 2005

4) Smart Dalek

Reason for disdain: Wasting Bunuel jokes on this crowd. I may cut down on my formal worship of Smart Dalek, and I may start exposing my film snobbishness more and more, contrary to the tenets of his epistemology. This is the last time I spend my lunchtime yelling "EXTERMINATE" at passersby, man.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:06 PM on June 8, 2005

post noting in fear that the last time we did this, I was fired from my job shortly thereafter
posted by tj at 12:12 PM on June 8, 2005

and that I still miss that hamper
posted by tj at 12:12 PM on June 8, 2005

5) Turan, Etruscan goddess of love and vitality

Reason for disdain: Way to let your former subjects become the Romans, my dear. Where were you when Velzna and Curtun capitulated, man? Was it 4:20? Jesus H. God.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:17 PM on June 8, 2005

Observes that gramschmidt gets testy after he stays up into the wee hours of the morning on MeFi.

*ducks and runs*
posted by Frisbee Girl at 12:17 PM on June 8, 2005

Won't someone think of the children mules?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:18 PM on June 8, 2005

6) Jesus H. God

Reason for disdain: This purely exclamatory deity has been the source of much consternation amongst groups of college students of a discursive or philosophical nature, due in no small part to the following question: What does the "H" stand for?
posted by gramschmidt at 12:21 PM on June 8, 2005

thinks of the mules. gets bored with thinking of the mules and thinks of the porcupines instead.
posted by jonmc at 12:24 PM on June 8, 2005

Wonders why tj was working in a hamper, agrees with grapefruitmoon and tries to remember what we were so indignant about earlier.

Offers to make everyone cookies, no, donuts, er, uh, mixed pastries anyone?

gramschmidt: Everyone knows that "H" stands for Haysoos.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 12:25 PM on June 8, 2005

I wouldn't say no to cheese danish or a cannoli.
posted by jonmc at 12:28 PM on June 8, 2005

remembers last time he sodomized a porcupine, notes that it coincides with Prince Albert...shudders...repeats vow of NEVER AGAIN!
posted by schyler523 at 12:35 PM on June 8, 2005

Link to try to explain the hamper bit
posted by tj at 12:37 PM on June 8, 2005

Grumpily states that this is why he stopped participating.
Dares poster to not post below this line:

---

posted by mrmorgan at 12:47 PM on June 8, 2005

---

posted by loquacious at 1:05 PM on June 8, 2005

Wait, is Jesus H. God different than Jesus H. Christ? And is Yahweh the funny uncle or the dirty one?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 1:06 PM on June 8, 2005

Returns from link and start lengthy explanation of why she didn't make connection, something about being away from MeFi for a year and a half while moving to SF, memories from previous existence now hazy. Changes mind, blames copious consumption of fernet.

*hands jonmc a cannoli and tries to tow mrmorgan's line*
posted by Frisbee Girl at 1:18 PM on June 8, 2005

7) The Great Line God of MeTa9622

Reason for disdain: Places burdensome constraints upon the already tenuously extant fun to be extracted from this thread. Thumbs way down. Would Not Worship Again.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:19 PM on June 8, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 1:29 PM on June 8, 2005

what, no espresso?
posted by jonmc at 1:30 PM on June 8, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 1:32 PM on June 8, 2005

Observes that the thread nears 500 comments.
posted by kenko at 1:42 PM on June 8, 2005

jonmc, I would think a Brio Chinotto would be a much better drink accompaniment for a canoli, but that's probably 'cause I don't drink coffee...
posted by birdsquared at 1:44 PM on June 8, 2005

Notes jonmc's comment that chicks dig him. Makes sarcastic reference to jonmc's recent declaration of extreme level of personal slobbishness in different thread. Tries to lighten comment by making tossed off reference to unwashed self sitting in pajamas and posting on Mefi at 1:46 p.m. Become unaccountably depressed about life.
posted by jokeefe at 1:47 PM on June 8, 2005

actually just pour a shot of grappa into a cappucino and I'll be fine.
posted by jonmc at 1:48 PM on June 8, 2005

jokeefe writes "Tries to lighten comment by making tossed off reference to unwashed self sitting in pajamas and posting on Mefi at 1:46 p.m. Become unaccountably depressed about life."

makes soothing comment about positive aspects of jokeefe's situation, primarily to make own self feel better. makes side comment even more depressing than jokeefes original comment. Expresses resignation to fate described in melodramatic manner.
posted by schyler523 at 1:52 PM on June 8, 2005

Finds way to work excessively literary quote into post. Have mud wrestling session over AS Byatt with andrew cooke. Adds a <_< to previous remark, thus demonstrating vocabulary is not as extensive, or as well used, as hoped.
posted by jokeefe at 1:52 PM on June 8, 2005

Ill-advised celebration of the 500th comment using the <big> and <blink> tags.

500th comment!!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:05 PM on June 8, 2005

Raises cup of tea to jokeefe: I'm still in pj's with a baseball cap that hides gravity defying bed head and just got done with a telephone job interview. However, I'm feeling rather smug about it, especially as the days of doing this on weekdays are nearing an end. *sigh* Pretty soon, I'll have to dress like a grown up again.

jonmc: as soon as you figure out I'm a bartender, you just start asking for the special treatment, don't you? Espresso. Grappa and cappucino. Here we go....

And for the love of some deity that gramschmidt is not on the outs with, could someone please help him with his puppet?

Thanks.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 2:08 PM on June 8, 2005

Link pointing out that kuro5hin has already done this.

Gratuitous large text
posted by grouse at 3:05 PM on June 8, 2005

Snide remark noting that goodnewsfortheinsane obviously can't count.
posted by raedyn at 3:07 PM on June 8, 2005

Abstract: We present a new method for MetaTalk comment generation. The new method combines two previously known techniques, known as 9622, and MetaTalk clusterfuck. We investigate the combination of these methods, report the preliminary results of our method, and analyze the outcome.

We present the two component methods here with the relevant data:

MeFi 9622 (Metafilter parody; control variable: 9622)

• 1:32 PM EST, Day 0: thread inception.
• 4:36 PM EST, Day 0: first 100 post notification. Elapsed time: 3h,4m.
• 8:02 PM EST, Day 0: first 200 post notification. Elapsed time: 6h,30m.
• 12:02 PM EST, Day 2: first 250 post notification. Elapsed time: 1d,22h,30m.
• 11:05 PM EST, Day 62: first 500 post notification. Elapsed time: 62d,9h,32m.
• Comment 1729.

MeTa 8762 (The Drama Queen thread; control variable: MetaTalk clusterfuck)

• 9:26 PM PST, Day 0: thread inception.
• 7:34 AM PST, Day 1: First 100 comment notification. Elapsed time: 10h,8m.
• 10:26 AM PST, Day 1: First 200 comment notification. Elapsed time: 13h,0m.
• 1:25 PM PST, Day 1: First 300 comment notification. Elapsed time: 15h,59m.
• 3:49 PM PST, Day 1: First 400 comment notification. Elapsed time: 18h,23m.
• 4:49 PM PST, Day 1: First 500 comment notification. Elapsed time: 19h,23m.
• 7:13 PM PST, Day 1: First 600 comment notification. Elapsed time: 22h,47m.
• 1:47 AM PST, Day 1: First 800 comment notification. Elapsed time: 1d,4h,21m.
• 12:41 PM PST, Day 2: Final observable comment (of approximately 900) prior to thread deletion. Elapsed time: 1d,15h,15m.

Our new method combines these two methods using a mixture model. We report the results below.

MeTa 9622 (new method).

• 5:21 PM PST, Day 0: thread inception.
• 1:25 PM PST, Day 1: first 200 comment notification. Elapsed time: 20h,4m.
• 4:41 PM PST, Day 1: first 300 comment notification. Elapsed time: 23h,20m.
• 11:39 PM PST, Day 1: first 400 comment notification. Elapsed time: 1d,6h,18m.
• 2:05 PM PST, Day 2: first 500 comment notification. Elapsed time: 1d,21h,44m.

Mitigating factors:

• At the time of MeFi 9266, threads were not closed after 30 days.
• Metatalk threads scroll off of MeTa after approximately two days, thus slowing the generation of additional comments.
• Significant outages during the reporting period have hampered the effectiveness of the new method.

Conclusion: The current method improves upon the comment-generation capacity per time unit of 9622 used in isolation. However, we predict that the mitigating factors will significantly slow the comment generation pace in the near future. Furthermore, it is evident that comment generation is somewhat less than the method MetaTalk clusterfuck used in isolation, although it offers much better performance than several other standard methods (c.f. pony request, dumb question, meetup pictures, pointless callout, etc). However, we observe that the Metatalk clusterfuck method can become unstable, resulting in thread lossage. For this reason, we recommend the use of the 9622/Metatalk clusterfuck mixture model as a reasonable middle ground. For maximum performance, we still recommend the full MetaTalk clusterfuck method, although users should be aware of potential danger of thread lossage.

We caution that these are preliminary results, however; should the community rededicate itself to comment generation in the 9622/Metatalk clusterfuck formalism, it is possible that the final comment tally will outperform all previously used methods.
posted by casu marzu at 3:07 PM on June 8, 2005

Indignant demand for apology from casu marzu.
posted by raedyn at 3:17 PM on June 8, 2005

At the time of MeFi 9266, threads were not closed after 30 days.

It's a witch! Burns her!
posted by If I Had An Anus at 3:26 PM on June 8, 2005

err it. burns it.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 3:31 PM on June 8, 2005

mmm, just burnt one
posted by If I Had An Anus at 3:33 PM on June 8, 2005

8) casu marzu

Reason for disdain: Not providing link to spreadsheets of comment impact vs. character usage data, outage duration / subsequent lost steam per user breakdown, and annotated interview volumes with each user, including extensive appendices noting how much more dynamic, resourceful, intelligent, discerning and physically better looking are the posters in this thread.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:47 PM on June 8, 2005

Acknowledgements

We would like to thank the anonymous reviewers for their helpful comments.
posted by casu marzu at 3:57 PM on June 8, 2005

Tries to understand what casu marzu is going on about. Wishes she had paid more attention in high school. Algebra? Did they cover this sort of thing in algebra?

Gives up, makes completely unintelligible comment about art school, unemployability, and still being in one's pajamas at what can only be quantified as the end of the day.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:10 PM on June 8, 2005

... Mornington Crescent ...





Did I win?





Hello?
posted by feelinglistless at 4:15 PM on June 8, 2005

Comment directed at casu marzu that you can't have Statistical Analysis without "Anal", and wondering how many individual comments casu could have posted in the time it took to analyze the speed in posting comments in this thread.
posted by wendell at 4:16 PM on June 8, 2005

Sits at desk in windowless office looking at desk strewn with scientific papers, graphs, crumpled scraps of paper full numbers and scrawled notes, and other research ephemera.

Wishes he paid more attention in art school.
posted by casu marzu at 4:17 PM on June 8, 2005

posted by wendell at 4:18 PM on June 8, 2005

Comment advising all of you to go outside. Irony that this advice points to poster's own failure to go outside is something future posters are encouraged not to note.
posted by melissa may at 4:24 PM on June 8, 2005

Notes jonmc's comment that chicks dig him. Makes sarcastic reference to jonmc's recent declaration of extreme level of personal slobbishness in different thread.

That sentence was cut short, jokeefe. I meant to type that chicks dig me like PETA digs Ted Nugent.
posted by jonmc at 4:26 PM on June 8, 2005

Jon: Is that PETA as in People for the Extreme Treatment of Animals, if yes, get you some!
posted by schyler523 at 4:30 PM on June 8, 2005

*notes that thread is about to fall off main page.*

*panics*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:37 PM on June 8, 2005

Wonders what the official PETA position is about "Cat Scratch Fever".
posted by wendell at 4:38 PM on June 8, 2005

*falls off main page*

*screams and waves arms*

*lands on pile of dead threads*
posted by wendell at 4:39 PM on June 8, 2005

Generic, blanket refuting of criticism by pointing out that I did say hello and thanks, politely, about a thousand threads ago.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:41 PM on June 8, 2005

Sadness upon re-reading that thread and realising how pathetic it was.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:42 PM on June 8, 2005

UNLISTED INTERNET VIOP TELEPHONE DIRECTORY - LAST UPDATED 06/03/05

Listing Voiceover Internet Protocol registries, re: H.323 Suite compliance.
All numbers indicated herin are confirmed as UNLISTED.

Aardvark,CJ..............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)]
Aaron,Stanley............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)]
Aaron,Vera...............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)]
Aaron,William............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)]
Abram,Abe................................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)]
Abram,Abraham............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)]
Abram,Alex...............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)]
Abram,Anthony............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)]

Continued
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:43 PM on June 8, 2005

Half-assed attempt at covering up Noob Guilt © by invoking a thread of yestermonth.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:43 PM on June 8, 2005

Disappointed admission of just having thought of the game.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:44 PM on June 8, 2005

Goddamnit, I just lost. Again.

You can't get to Mornington Crescent from there. Rats on the rails.
posted by loquacious at 4:53 PM on June 8, 2005

Whaddya mean, "fired"?
posted by WolfDaddy at 4:54 PM on June 8, 2005

notation that it's hotter'n balls here in NYC tonite. I've sweated clean through my Super Duper Weenie t-shirt.
posted by jonmc at 4:58 PM on June 8, 2005

Do you mean the term "wh*te trash"? Because I don't use that term, and I'm not getting sucked into another discussion on this because you think you're being funny. Sorry, "asshole".
posted by gramschmidt at 4:58 PM on June 8, 2005

Expression of resentment that tj explained the remark about "missing that hamper," thus destroying commenter's satisfaction at being the only one in the thread who Got It.
posted by languagehat at 5:10 PM on June 8, 2005

Remark that previous poster doesn't know hotter'n'balls from smellier'n'ballz coz poster is a damn yankee. Added invitation to come down to Tejas to see what hot balls are really like. With no air conditioning.
posted by WolfDaddy at 5:18 PM on June 8, 2005

(Secretly got the hamper joke as she read most of the previous 9622 yesterday, but didn't want to admit to complete nerd-hood. Has too much free time.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:18 PM on June 8, 2005

9) Yngwie Malmsteen

Reason for disdain: It appears as though he can do anything he wants with a guitar but he chooses to do the worst crap imaginable. The Mariah Carey of guitar?
posted by gramschmidt at 5:19 PM on June 8, 2005

Remark that previous poster doesn't know hotter'n'balls from smellier'n'ballz coz poster is a damn yankee.

Retort to texan that original poster spent 2 years of his life in the smegma-encrusted foreskin of America known as Dade County, Florida, so he does indeed know from hotter'n balls. And it's like Miami-hot in the Apple today. But the beer helps.

and disdaining Yngwie? Now you've unleashed the fucking fury...;)
posted by jonmc at 5:23 PM on June 8, 2005

Expression of resentment that tj explained the remark about "missing that hamper," thus destroying commenter's satisfaction at being the only one in the thread who Got It.
posted by languagehat at 5:10 PM PST on June 8 [!]

*tiptoes quietly out of thread*
posted by Frisbee Girl at 5:48 PM on June 8, 2005

Silently smirks about hamper joke but realizes that it's too late to claim to have gotten it. Feels anger at self for only having spent three hours of precious irreplaceable life on Metafilter yesterday, thus preventing self from posting witty riposte to hamper comment.

Makes back-handed meta-ironic reference to Best. Something. Ever. in such a way as to both use the meme in its original form while simultaneously disavowing it.
posted by jokeefe at 6:06 PM on June 8, 2005

posted by john at 6:12 PM on June 8, 2005

I'll note that this thread has kept me from reading or participating in much of anything else on Metafilter for the past couple of days.

Request for someone to fill us in on what we've been missing out there in the green and blue.
posted by nobody at 6:37 PM on June 8, 2005

not a whole lot, Jesus Damon. now, back to the laff-laff.
posted by jonmc at 6:44 PM on June 8, 2005

It does look like someone is trying to argue corporate culpability in the online gaming related death of a player in varied forms of metered and free verse (along with the occasional nod to Shatner) while referencing trolls, elves and vampires.

Good stuff.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 6:48 PM on June 8, 2005

Notes that the thread has fallen off the MeTa front page, and expresses hope that said falling off will not damper continued commenting.
posted by kenko at 7:01 PM on June 8, 2005

Wonders why jonmc wants to pork a pine.
Notes she's sulking because casu has yet to apologize for stealing bandwidth.
posted by deborah at 7:15 PM on June 8, 2005

Wonders out loud if it's too soon to mention how funny monkeys are.
posted by yhbc at 7:25 PM on June 8, 2005

Searches page for 'teh'...is flabbergasted at only finding the one.

(Secretly fills with the glee at having ruined the ability of all other MeFites to find Teh One Teh for now there are the three tehs.)
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:30 PM on June 8, 2005

Wonders why deborah wants to butter a fly.

Of all the things I've seen in my life, I've never seen deborah butter a fly...
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:32 PM on June 8, 2005

...On second thought I have. It was that Rolling Stones album...
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:33 PM on June 8, 2005

Gently points out that following IIHAA's comment there are now four tehs, and three tehs. Including that last one.
posted by yhbc at 7:35 PM on June 8, 2005

Wonders into party 2 days late, but drunk, if that counts.
posted by graventy at 7:35 PM on June 8, 2005

/tao
I told you I was hardcore.

posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:39 PM on June 8, 2005

mentions my tangential relation with moby. Long story. A girl I boned boned a girl who boned moby. we're practically related.

links to his favorite meetup pic. witchstone's posture says "impress me, asshole," pips (aka mrs. jonmc)'s expression says "please don't embarrass me, you sot," jpoulos seems to be contemplating the humanity of it all. rifolla seems to be searching for his wallet or something. And, no, I don't remember what the hell I was talking about.
posted by jonmc at 7:40 PM on June 8, 2005

Makes post inviting both WolfDaddy and jonmc to strongly consider that they both don't know hotter'n'balls from Sweet Merciful Christ God Help Me I Just Stepped Outside At Eight In The Fucking Morning And Every Hair On My Body Burst Into Flames And Oh Holy Fuck It's Been Over A Hundred Every Day For A Month And A Half Already And It's Not Going To Cool Down Until Fucking Christmas And So Help Me God If You Even Think Of Saying 'It's Ok, It's Dry Heat' Not Only Is It Obvious You Don't Know What A Monsoon Is, I'm Going To BBQ You Right On My Goddamn Three Hundred And Fifty Degree Asphalt Driveway.

Poster also wonders why WolfDaddy is no longer residing in the uncomparable paradise known as the Central California Coast, and further points out that Yngwie Malmsteen is about as useful, artistic and tasteful as a three year old stale fruit cake. Correction made: Yngwie Malmsteen is a three year old stale fruit cake.

On Preview: Poster points out that poster has seen Moby's wang, has pictures of it, that it isn't anything special, considering he has a known habit of performing naked and standing on his keyboard stand, posing like a crucified Jesus.
posted by loquacious at 7:44 PM on June 8, 2005

Is this really the thread's first Turgenev photo?

posted by gramschmidt at 8:01 PM on June 8, 2005

BECAUSE I GOT SENT TO HELL LOQUACIOUS ALL RIGHT?

Looks shiftily at other posters, grabs a blunt object, prepares for battle, decides "fuck it, I'm going back to California RIGHT NOW for three weeks," and leaves.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:10 PM on June 8, 2005

Soooo....it's not a dry heat then?

My, my, you boys DO get snippy when you're tired and hot, don't you?
posted by Frisbee Girl at 8:14 PM on June 8, 2005

Poster - who has been to Tejas in the summer - offers his condolences to WolfDaddy.

Poster also wonders what pie-platter poster means by "snippy'? Snotty? Snooty? Abe Froman, Sausage King of Chicago?

Informs flying pie-platter poster that this isn't snippy, it's just general assgrabbery and professionally competitive wang measurement. No actual interweenies were harmed in the production of these posts.

Poster also notes that one could indeed BBQ on the asphalt out here. Fried eggs would be too easy - try bacon. One could bake a cake in a cardboard box lined with foil. Poster recently had one of those little zipper-pull sized thermometers explode when he left it in a car. The indicator on it maxed out at 120 - cars have been known to reach temps of over 200.
posted by loquacious at 8:33 PM on June 8, 2005

mentions my tangential relation with moby. Long story. A girl I boned boned a girl who boned moby. we're practically related.

Based on that criteria, my early-80s association with KROQ radio means I have a tangental relation with...
OH.
MY.
GOD.
posted by wendell at 8:35 PM on June 8, 2005

Poster is reluctant to declare that the weather in Southern California is currently abnormally perfect - not too hot, not too cool - and after getting dangerously close to breaking the record for the all-time rainiest year in history, has been totally rain-free since that Villaraigoosy guy won the election, but is willing to bring up almost any topic to avoid thinking about who else the girl from KROQ in '83 had done...
posted by wendell at 8:41 PM on June 8, 2005

Rodney Bingenheimer?
posted by loquacious at 8:48 PM on June 8, 2005

posted by loquacious at 8:52 PM on June 8, 2005

yhbc wrote: Gently points out that following IIHAA's comment there are now four t*hs, and three t*hs. Including that last one.

Gently suggests that perhaps both IIHAA and yhbc have miscounted. It was five t*hs following IIHAA's comment (one before, four more at that moment, assuming that "t*hs" counts as a "t*h"). yhbc's comment brought the count up to seven. This comment would have brought the t*h count up to thirteen were it not for this user's valiant attempt, through targeted censorship, to step back from the brink of self-reference.
posted by nobody at 8:54 PM on June 8, 2005

*more than horrified with the realization that loquacious has posted the least ugly picture of Rodney Bingenheimer I've ever seen*
posted by wendell at 9:00 PM on June 8, 2005

Pie-platter poster calmly explains that 'snippy' is a term for the tendency to unnecessarily escalate discussions in an emotionally antagonistic and defensive manner. Pie-platter poster also advises querying poster, who may or may not actually be a 'baker', that nitrous chargers are intended for the creation of whipped cream and not whippets while actively trying to erase images of assgrabbery and wang measuring (moby's or not) from her brain. Notes, however, that if poster does decide to BBQ bacon on the sidewalk, she'd love to see the pictures.

On preview: nods to Wendell and admits that weather in SF is a comfortable misty sixty while wondering where jokeefe and grapefruitmoon wandered off to.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 9:01 PM on June 8, 2005

Actually, nobody, 7 tehs plus your 4 t*hs only make 11.
posted by wendell at 9:03 PM on June 8, 2005

Pie-platter poster would also like to clarify that the pictures she would like to see involve the bacon and only the bacon. Wangs or asses need not apply.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 9:04 PM on June 8, 2005

Poster with middle name of Eddie Albert's character on Green Acres admits yes, I made the totals 8 and 5.

But I'm too busy fretting over all the cheesy '80s bands that came through L.A. on tour in those days...

Three words: Men Without Hats.
posted by wendell at 9:09 PM on June 8, 2005

Polyloquent poster attempts to read and comprehend the post from the flying pie-platter poster, but all that he's able to grasp through all the wooshing helicopter noises and deeply modulated cries of "More power to the shields, Captain!" is "Bacon-n-n-n... Whippets-ts-ts-ts..."

Poster awakes with The Answer balanced maddeningly on the tip of his tongue and to inexplicable visions of flying pigs.
posted by loquacious at 9:10 PM on June 8, 2005

Uhm.

Where are my pants?
posted by loquacious at 9:13 PM on June 8, 2005

fortunately, poster who lost to FDR in 1940 was a Steely Dan fan who would never do it without the Fez on
posted by wendell at 9:18 PM on June 8, 2005

Poster who is also a town in North Carolina visuaizes loquacious poster as lead singer for an '80s band called Men Without Pants.
posted by wendell at 9:22 PM on June 8, 2005

Poster who is also a town in Iowa is never gonna make it to 600.
posted by wendell at 9:22 PM on June 8, 2005

Johny-come lately meeky asking if anyone still reads the threads down here.
posted by dg at 9:29 PM on June 8, 2005

WHERE
posted by loquacious at 9:40 PM on June 8, 2005

ARE
posted by loquacious at 9:40 PM on June 8, 2005

MY
posted by loquacious at 9:40 PM on June 8, 2005

PANTS!?
posted by loquacious at 9:40 PM on June 8, 2005

shoa
i'm fukcin
posted by jenovus at 9:45 PM on June 8, 2005

POST INDICATING THAT I AM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW (even though I am really not and just want some attention)

SO HIGH
posted by jenovus at 9:47 PM on June 8, 2005

dg: just bots now - no humans involved at this stage
posted by birdsquared at 9:52 PM on June 8, 2005

Wait - there were humans involved at some stage? That's news to me and the guy who built me in his garage using nothing but left-over bicycle parts.
posted by dg at 9:57 PM on June 8, 2005

No humans, but a helluva lot of monkeys at typewriters.

oo oo...
posted by wendell at 10:13 PM on June 8, 2005

Is this really the thread's first Tati photo?

posted by gramschmidt at 10:14 PM on June 8, 2005

*points and laughs at dg's bicycle parts*
posted by wendell at 10:15 PM on June 8, 2005

At this hour, gramschy, we're all looking a little Tati.
posted by wendell at 10:15 PM on June 8, 2005

this hamper . . . it vibrates?
posted by geekyguy at 10:17 PM on June 8, 2005

I'm still waiting for Heywood Mogroot's heuristic neuro-linguistic meta-retro statistical algorithm analysis of the posts in the original MeFi 9622 thread and this one to determine which of the former's contributors are now sock puppet accounts deluging this thread.
posted by birdsquared at 10:23 PM on June 8, 2005

Is this really the thread's first hamper gif?

posted by wendell at 10:25 PM on June 8, 2005

Sorry, this is the thread's first hamper...

posted by wendell at 10:27 PM on June 8, 2005

Is this really the thread's first Alcott?

posted by gramschmidt at 10:50 PM on June 8, 2005

Is this really the thread's first bizarro gif from a misspelled Google Image search of the word "wendell"?

posted by gramschmidt at 10:53 PM on June 8, 2005

Is this really the thread's first hot, throbbing porno cock?

posted by gramschmidt at 10:55 PM on June 8, 2005

weather in SF is a comfortable misty sixty while wondering where jokeefe and grapefruitmoon wandered off to.

Tries not to betray smugness at being noticed, nay, summoned, by other member.

Toys with idea of mapping out the not very many degrees of separation required to connect me sexually with Kurt Cobain. Leaves that remark twisting gently in the wind, secretly hoping to impress somebody.
posted by jokeefe at 11:04 PM on June 8, 2005

I have not, however, nor do I know anyone who has bonked Moby.

Wonders why loquacious keeps pictures of Moby's wang around. Ponders the wangness of Moby, and of the insufferable lead singer of Men Without Hats, who once fancied themselves stars. Further ponders time, entropy, and the ultimate fade to black. Pours stiff drink. Cranks up music on headphones.
posted by jokeefe at 11:13 PM on June 8, 2005

Not to let the wind out of jokeefe's sails, but the populations of Ventura, Orange, and Los Angeles counties have slept with Courtney Love. And most of the state of Washington.
posted by gramschmidt at 11:15 PM on June 8, 2005

Casual remark about having kissed Bono in high school, Billy Bragg in college, and Mick Jones in grad school (the latter in a photo booth) at various points in time. Affirmation that yes, in two of the three instances, there was tongue.
posted by scody at 11:28 PM on June 8, 2005

MEN. WITHOUT. PANTS.

Well, there's nothing to really see in the pictures. So it's not like I'm keeping them around for their wangitude. I just figure I could sell them eventually. Like when Moby actually becomes a celebrity or something.

I've never slept with Courtn...
OH.
MY.
GOD.

*Poster cowers under desk in a shuddering bout of PTSD, whacking at invisible bats with the butt of a loaded .357*
posted by loquacious at 11:28 PM on June 8, 2005

*waves at jokeefe, suppresses HST-like flashback and slips a Xanax under the desk to loquacious*

Begins to recall 10 year span in Seattle beginning in her late teens. And numerous rather PG incidents with numerous people. Suddenly realizes that she has made out with the better part of the PNW. Abruptly ends thought. Smiles blankly. Nods. Exits room quickly.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 11:54 PM on June 8, 2005

*returns momentarily to peek back in at scody*

Mick Jones? Wow.

*runs off to bathe in Listerine*
posted by Frisbee Girl at 11:59 PM on June 8, 2005

*whispers*

600?
posted by Frisbee Girl at 12:05 AM on June 9, 2005

Hooray for 600!
posted by geekyguy at 12:05 AM on June 9, 2005

Poster writes 500-paragraph screed about how Xanax will make you totally crazy. Miguel and Ethereal Bligh openly weep in appreciation at the deep obfuscation. Poster bows to applause and a shower of roses and underpants.

Poster then wakes up, grumbles noisily, goes back to sleep.
posted by loquacious at 12:06 AM on June 9, 2005

Woah. Boobies.

Now I know I'm dreaming.
posted by loquacious at 12:09 AM on June 9, 2005

No, this is 600. Hah.
posted by loquacious at 12:11 AM on June 9, 2005

Or not. I'm confused, and I think the counter is too. Ooo, Mythbuster's is building a jetpack. Fanman! *poingpoing*
posted by loquacious at 12:14 AM on June 9, 2005

Pie-platter poster points out, without reading screed, of course, that poster was under the table fighting bats well before Xanax came into picture.

Applauds geekguy even if the slightest bit unnerved by celebratory gif and issues ad nauseum plea for children, kittens, bandwidth and mules.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 12:16 AM on June 9, 2005

Reloads to see if thread is still going after being rolled off the front page, is not surprised to see that it of course is.

Then vaguely remembers that the point of the original 9622 was self-referential statements by the posts themselves, not the posters, and hangs head in shame.
posted by bigbigdog at 12:20 AM on June 9, 2005

Realizes that self-referential statements about the poster are the point of this 9622 and decides to reiterate appreciation for bunnies and pancakes.

And requests a new pony.
posted by bigbigdog at 12:22 AM on June 9, 2005

Hisses at gramschmidt not to mess up her story. Searches frantically for other anecdotes, comes up with only one sad incident involving member of Black Flag in 1984 and his rather astonishing air of entitlement to blow job which poster declined to perform.

Sadly admits coming to end of stories of wild youth, groupie subsection. Wonder if scody got Bono tongue. Joins loquacious under desk.
posted by jokeefe at 12:50 AM on June 9, 2005

No new comments for 20 minutes. Peeks through blinds. Sees Mefites sleeping all over lawn. Turns on sprinklers.
posted by Cranberry at 1:15 AM on June 9, 2005

WTF! Raining?

Gets up, staggers, climbs into backseat of car.
posted by bigbigdog at 1:26 AM on June 9, 2005

*hears sprinklers and peers down from roof where awake Mefites are looking at Venus...waits for hilarity to ensue*
posted by Frisbee Girl at 1:26 AM on June 9, 2005

*Briefly mistakes jokeefe for an enormous bat.*

*Sleepwalks to water main and welds it shut. Curls up under hedges near the porch.*
posted by loquacious at 1:39 AM on June 9, 2005

Totally betrays smugness at having been mentioned by another poster. Points out that she ran off to sleep and has now come back to the thread first thing in the morning like a good addict.

Further points out that while she has no knowledge of Moby's wang or Bono's tongue, she has seen Björk naked in person.

(Mutters something under breath about heat envy. It's fricking freezing over here. Stupid ICE-land. Wishes she lived in "warm-land" instead.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:51 AM on June 9, 2005

Reveals self accidentally to be a S@L sock puppet account thus proving theory that only 5 actual MeFites exist and that we are all figments of those with an actual imagination.
posted by longbaugh at 5:15 AM on June 9, 2005

Mick Jones? Nice. Adds scody as crush contact.

Wonders if once having sausage and pancakes with Rob Halford's houseboy counts for anything.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:50 AM on June 9, 2005

Refutes Steve_at_Longbaugh's crackpot Meftrix theory by... okay, poster's got nothing. Poster admits to just wanting to use the word "Meftrix".
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:20 AM on June 9, 2005

Blanket complaint about people in this thread continually referring to themselves in the third person.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:22 AM on June 9, 2005

Is this really the thread's third person?


posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:24 AM on June 9, 2005

I'm thinking about posting this to the front page. Discuss.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:27 AM on June 9, 2005

has seen Björk naked in person

Yeah, but you're in Iceland, right grapefruitmoon? Björk and Matthew Barney nude is a governmentally mandated, twice daily ritual, if I recall correctly.

Doesn't mean I'm not jealous.
posted by gramschmidt at 6:35 AM on June 9, 2005

MetaFilter: Steve_at_Longbaugh's crackpot Meftrix theory
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:37 AM on June 9, 2005

Those are totally sweet. Go for it. It would nicely complement that old post about those guys who installed Super Mario stuff in the windows of their university's CS building, or something. Remember that? I do. I provide no link, though. Strange, that.
posted by gramschmidt at 6:39 AM on June 9, 2005

Affirmation that yes, in two of the three instances, there was tongue.

Of course there was, darling. But in Mick Jones' case, the big question is, were there teeth?

I've never actually boned, or even kissed a celebrity, but one of the contestants on that Richard Branson reality show had a major league flirtation thing going on with me in college, but we never managed to actually hit it.
posted by jonmc at 6:46 AM on June 9, 2005

Futile attempt at providing last comment in thread.....
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:53 AM on June 9, 2005

Umm, someone switched loquacious' sleep image!? Help.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:55 AM on June 9, 2005

The question is, is it an improvement?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:10 AM on June 9, 2005

This thread, it just wants to belong.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:17 AM on June 9, 2005

posted by jonmc at 7:21 AM on June 9, 2005

That's me on the right, dame making the devil horns, and Divine Wino in the middle.

RAWK!
posted by jonmc at 7:24 AM on June 9, 2005

Has anyone been dreaming about this thread yet?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:26 AM on June 9, 2005

Dreams about thread. Awakens slighly moist.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:12 AM on June 9, 2005

post expressing very late apologies for explaining the hamper bit.
posted by tj at 8:19 AM on June 9, 2005

Post out of a sense of duty that agrees with jonmc.
posted by PhatLobley at 8:29 AM on June 9, 2005

Post deriding anyone with a sense of duty to the grey.
posted by raedyn at 8:44 AM on June 9, 2005

small type musing about the spelling of grey/gray
posted by raedyn at 8:45 AM on June 9, 2005

Oh holy crap! Please delete that.

I guess that's what I get for hotlinking to an image on blogdar. Knifebutt my ass.
posted by loquacious at 8:46 AM on June 9, 2005

Please don't delete. Just swap it with lemon party or something.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:56 AM on June 9, 2005

Damnit, Matt's not on AIM. Anyone have Jessamyn's ear?

Apologies, everyone.

And what a squandered opportunity from the blogdar asshats. You'd hope that they could be more creative then using that tired old chestnut.
posted by loquacious at 8:57 AM on June 9, 2005

I don't have access to either the source image location or my HTML in the post. Granted, this is a strong argument against hotlinking, but it's also at least a mild argument for being able to edit one's own comments.

Nuke it. I'm totally dissapointed in the Blogdar dorkwads. They so could have put up something more creative and/or interesting and/or offensive then that. That thing is old.
posted by loquacious at 9:03 AM on June 9, 2005

Invokes the spirit of Jim Jones, patron saint of threads that are no longer on the front page. Gouges out eyes after seeing what loquacious' image became.

Realizes that no one will read far enough into the thread to see this.
posted by ubersturm at 9:05 AM on June 9, 2005

Declaration that I have, in fact, read ubersturm's post.
posted by raedyn at 9:15 AM on June 9, 2005

If I recall correctly, the original knifebutt image to which you linked was totally benign, right? (The title being the joke, of course.)
posted by gramschmidt at 9:17 AM on June 9, 2005

Lame attempt to rouse some happier thoughts than the evil image by starting three cheers for Jim Jones.

Hip! Hip! ...
posted by raedyn at 9:18 AM on June 9, 2005

Posts classic Meftrix apology to prove old-timer status. Follows with gratuitous Kitten link
posted by john at 9:21 AM on June 9, 2005

The cleansing power of the puppy:


posted by gramschmidt at 9:23 AM on June 9, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 9:24 AM on June 9, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 9:28 AM on June 9, 2005

post pointing out that while people from the south may know the difference between sweety as balls, and something else, they've yet to live through the fickle finger of fate that Wisconsin weather is. After all in the last month it has been both 96 degrees and 38. In fact, in a few hours recently it went from 85ish down to 38. Our weather is specifically designed to punish humanity for its sins.
posted by drezdn at 9:31 AM on June 9, 2005

Hooray!
posted by kenko at 9:43 AM on June 9, 2005

Elitist comment about how this thread was better on usenet.
posted by drezdn at 9:45 AM on June 9, 2005

My pet died:


posted by Smart Dalek at 9:56 AM on June 9, 2005

My primate scowled:


posted by gramschmidt at 10:12 AM on June 9, 2005

.......
posted by jonmc at 10:14 AM on June 9, 2005

Post exhibiting dismay that no one has yet mentioned Oolong.
Weeps for humanity.


posted by deborah at 10:22 AM on June 9, 2005

Feels that Icelandic weather was governmentally mandated to punish her for sins. Not sure which sins or why, but seeing Björk naked that once hardly makes up for freezing in June.

Other things mandated by Icelandic government :
- Vague appreciation for Halldór Laxness.
- Eating reindeer.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:27 AM on June 9, 2005

Why does it take Oolong two jumps to go to the left, but only one to go to the right? Does he really like going to the right?

OH BOY! I'm going to the RIGHT!
posted by kenko at 10:27 AM on June 9, 2005

makes slightly funny coment on drezdn's mispelling of "sweaty" as "sweety".

Makes note that he soon will have sweaty balls when back in MO, that will NOT be sweet. Sighs.
posted by schyler523 at 10:37 AM on June 9, 2005

Remebers Zippity Pong. Laments that Matt has deleted this thread. Tries to bring it into this thread. Notices that the effect is broken. Fails in his attempt to resurect it. Cries into his breakfast.
posted by Fezboy! at 10:52 AM on June 9, 2005

Rumination over the signifigance of Matt being online since the gross NSFW image was noted and flagged, while the image continues to be hotlinked. Submission of evidence to support this claim.

Attempt to start controversy about if Matt should care and/or react or not.
posted by raedyn at 11:07 AM on June 9, 2005

Poster notes that five posts from here would put the thread count at 666 and opines the thread should be closed at that point.
posted by Fezboy! at 11:34 AM on June 9, 2005

Poster awakens at noon on lawn, slightly moist, and wonders when they renamed MetaTalk "MetalTalk". Blames jonmc.

Grabs pen to write down dream he just had. Stops after the words "Zippity Pong".
posted by wendell at 11:55 AM on June 9, 2005

Post deriding anyone with a sense of duty to the grey.

Dutifully makes another post, stands up straighter.
posted by PhatLobley at 12:01 PM on June 9, 2005

Poster awakens at noon on lawn, slightly moist, and wonders when they renamed MetaTalk "MetalTalk". Blames jonmc.

accuses wendell of being one of them new waver wusses. puches palm.
posted by jonmc at 12:08 PM on June 9, 2005

posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 12:11 PM on June 9, 2005

I'm keeping an eye on this thread.

posted by schyler523 at 12:50 PM on June 9, 2005

A suggestion that perhaps mathowie has not taken down the offending (goatse) img link because to do so would be to show tacit approval of everything else in this thread, and, indeed, to openly condone the very existence of this thread to begin with.

A prediction that if mathowie plays any active role in this thread, it will only be to close it.

A suggestion that rather than flagging the img, someone should get in touch with those blogdar slags. Can I say 'slags'?
posted by nobody at 1:28 PM on June 9, 2005

Makes post about noticing that creepy eyeball picture is post 666, explains that even though poster is not superstitious, poster feels nervous...ends post by apologizig for ruining Fezboy!'s idea...

makes a side comment after previewing thread to explain that for the love of Bob he finally saw the goatse medley.
posted by schyler523 at 1:31 PM on June 9, 2005

Hello MetaFilter/MetaTalk/AskMetaFilter fans, and thank you for signing up for Google's Beta Threadjack Tracking!

My name is Matt Haughey Jr., and here at MeFi/MeTa/AskMe we are working with Google which has just compiled a great new pony that tracks everyone to whom this message is forwarded to and responded from! It does this through an unique JRun (Java Servlet) log book database. We are experimenting with this and need your help. Forward this thread to everyone you know and if it reaches 700 posts, the first 20 people who've posted the most will receive a pancake breakfast, and the rest will receive an autographed photo of me swinging the Banhammer on some random sock puppet.

Enjoy!

Note: Duplicate entries will not be counted. You will be notified by Gmail with further instructions once this thread has reached 700 posts.

Your friends,
Matt Haughey Jr., Macromedia Software, Sun Microsystems & The Google Labs Development Team.
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:49 PM on June 9, 2005

That was a good party, but my dad is totally going to kill me. There is Nyquil and throwup and Schlitz Malt Liquor all over the carpet in his all white ego room. Somebody wake up Jonmc and take that pizza off the turntable. Unless I miss my guess there should be several nerds sleeping under that glass table that is covered with pretzels and we are all going to meet the loves of our lives outside of our sisters weddings.
posted by Divine_Wino at 2:04 PM on June 9, 2005

"Hey, gramschmidt, it appears as though MeTa9622 has lost steam. What in the world are you going to do about it?"

Oh, what am I not going to do about it?
posted by gramschmidt at 2:07 PM on June 9, 2005

I'm certainly not going to post a photo of a great modem.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:08 PM on June 9, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:09 PM on June 9, 2005

Dammit, I blew it. Time to burn the flag.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:10 PM on June 9, 2005

we are all going to meet the loves of our lives outside of our sisters weddings.

Terse query as to where love of scody's life was hiding at said wedding.
posted by scody at 2:10 PM on June 9, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:13 PM on June 9, 2005

Harangue aimed at Smart Dalek who promised us all he was leaving days ago.
posted by raedyn at 2:14 PM on June 9, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:15 PM on June 9, 2005

Hasty declaration of intention to build time machine to take raedyn to right outside scody's sister's wedding in order that the two might meet and fall in love.
posted by raedyn at 2:17 PM on June 9, 2005

MetaFilter: Swinging the Banhammer on some random sock puppet.
posted by loquacious at 2:18 PM on June 9, 2005

Gratuitous acknowledgement that ending the posting at 666 has been stymied.
posted by Fezboy! at 2:19 PM on June 9, 2005

Divine_Wino writes "we are all going to meet the loves of our lives outside of our sisters weddings."

You bastard! It isn't true! I met her at my sister's wedding and by my reckoning was TEH OEN. She however had other plans...

Only time will tell...only time will tell...
posted by schyler523 at 2:20 PM on June 9, 2005

Terse query as to where love of scody's life was hiding at said wedding.

Notification how for years we assumed that when you didn't come looking for us you simply weren't interested. We were behind the bushes. Right next to the cake. (I promise we didn't touch it).
posted by nobody at 2:21 PM on June 9, 2005

Similar gratuitous acknowledgement of personal failure to appropriately couch first two posts to this thread. Commitment to:
1. do better for the duration.
2. do my part to make sure the thread progresses to 1700+.
posted by Fezboy! at 2:22 PM on June 9, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:25 PM on June 9, 2005

Damn that's a sexy modem. Look at those blinkenlights and exposed frontside DIP switches.
posted by loquacious at 2:32 PM on June 9, 2005

Challenge to nobody. Certainly we both can't be the love of scody's life. A duel is the only reasonable solution.
posted by raedyn at 2:35 PM on June 9, 2005

Scody:

Did you check all the, like, really freakin cool sports cars parked in the lot? 'Cause there was true love love going on in a bunch of them.


loquacious:
Dipswitch is my best word. Forever. Did you, uh, did you just kinda, jiggle the dipswitch?
posted by Divine_Wino at 2:38 PM on June 9, 2005

Attempted diffusion of raedyn's challenge: You can be scody's secret Canadian love...and I could be scody's cuckolded domestic love.

Witty rephrasing of raedyn's last sentence, in lieu of riposte: A dual solution is the only resonable one.
posted by nobody at 2:48 PM on June 9, 2005

You bastard! It isn't true! I met her at my sister's wedding and by my reckoning was TEH OEN. She however had other plans...

Only time will tell...only time will tell...

Is there more to this story, schyler523? Perhaps enough to fill up several comments? Spill it, man.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:49 PM on June 9, 2005

Should have written: "A dual solution is only reasonable."
posted by nobody at 2:51 PM on June 9, 2005

*jiggles the dipswitch again*NO CARRIER *!Y#EH#^%#^#**(1

ATDT 15038675309

BUSY

+++ATH0

NO CARRIER
posted by loquacious at 3:00 PM on June 9, 2005

Notes that surely she will never find this "love of her life" as she has no sisters.

Debates whether or not to notify her husband.

Decides against it.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:04 PM on June 9, 2005

posted by shmegegge at 3:09 PM on June 9, 2005

1200 bps = lightning fast ASCII pr0n
posted by gramschmidt at 3:15 PM on June 9, 2005

Long post in which i explain to gramschmidt et. al. that I indeed met the love of my life at a wedding (not specifically my sister's wedding, i lied about that part.) When i first saw her, she was laughing at me (I didn't even do anything funny, no tripping, no spilling, fly zipped, etc.) I walked up to her and asked her why she laughed at me...we end up talking to each other for the rest of the night. As we leave, we exchange numbers...

Several weeks go by before i call her...but when i finally call her, she lets me know that she is moving to LA and btw, goodbye.

I forget about her...

Months go by, I go to the airport to pick up my grandma when she visits for thanksgiving. As I wait for my grandmas luggage, i hear someone yelling my name across the airport...I look up to see HER! Bizarre! Synchronicity! She IS the one!

We talk for awhile, I show off my cute nephew, then we exchange numbers again...this time we mean it though.
We hung out almost every night she was in St. Louis for T- giving, and stayed in touch when she went back to CA.

A few months go by, we talked a lot on the phone, then she convinces me to come live in LA with her. "It's 50 degrees outside here, I fell asleep outside on the trampoline!" As my teeth chatter i tell her that there is snow on the ground in St. Louis, and that yes, i will come out to live with her...

Here is where a God that isn't a piece of shit would have placed a "happily ever after."

This brings you to the present, she has asked me to leave, so I am leaving, I am unsure of the finality of this...this may be just a separation and she asks me back. Or not.
posted by schyler523 at 3:35 PM on June 9, 2005

sorry
posted by schyler523 at 3:38 PM on June 9, 2005

Damn shame, man. Sympathy and support and what-not (sans sarcasm).

As far the deity thing is concerned, if you're referring at all to the Christian god, he's number three (and sort of number six) on my list.

Can't be relied upon.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:47 PM on June 9, 2005

*hugs schyler*

That's a rough one, for certain.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 3:52 PM on June 9, 2005

Where the fuck is jonmc? We need a traditionally masculine support song! Quick!
posted by gramschmidt at 3:53 PM on June 9, 2005

Posts tough guy comment that attempts to show stiff spine and tough skin. Also kindly asks that derail be forgiven, though in light of the goatse medley, this derail isn't nearly as bad...

Pre-emptively posts lyrics that sum things up...

The sky dripped in a demon sweat the night she left
Wrapped up in a blanket and I’m feelin’ wet
They said she flew from the goals in her life
Then she wet like blood from a knife
I’m here, and it’s all so clear now

The wind flows and it’s blowing cold, and I’m still here
Gripping onto what’s not around
Now it’s all so clear to me now
Now I know, sometimes I try a bit too hard
And I can’t let go of you
posted by schyler523 at 3:57 PM on June 9, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 3:59 PM on June 9, 2005

Hands schyler523 a beer, tells him to drink up.
posted by ubersturm at 4:00 PM on June 9, 2005

Post that completely ignores revelations just made. Poster doesn't know how to handle the gravity of that in light of the levity of the rest of the thread.

Admission that nobody's wit really did win me over. Expression of excitement at all the potentials of the dual solution.

Small aside, wondering if scody knows of the plans that are being hatched for her.
posted by raedyn at 4:01 PM on June 9, 2005

orders some food for the thread, we've got a long way to go till 1700, we'll need some energy (and something to soak up all these beers, i don't want to wake up with "$5 Noob" tattooed on my forehead again.)

~Let me start of with a basket of chips
Then move on to the pollo asado taco
I would like two pollo asado tacos with one beef chimichanga
On the chimichanga, I would like a side of sour cream
I would like tomatoes and onions on my quesodilla
For dessert I would like the flares -- I would like extra cinnamon
Do you make guacamole?
Yes, I do make guacamole.
Uh, I would like a side of guacamole on my tostitos
I like to dip the tostitos in the guacamole
Can I get a basket, I told you about a basket of chips
I would like a large iced-tea, 2, uh, 2 large iced-teas

Ok, that’ll be $16.07
Out of $20? ok, $16.07’s your change.

Hi, can I help you?
I would like a basket of chips,
A beef chimichanga with a side of sour cream
I would like some guacamole on my chimichanga
With a quesodilla of tomato, onion, and vegetables
I should like a burrito with beans, beef, and
I would like a carne asado taco
Could you put some hot sauce on that for me?
No, inside the taco, not on the side
Yes, can I have a carne asado taco?
Not a pollo asado, we don’t have chicken
Do you have guacamole?
Can you make me some guacamole?
I have guacamole
Ok, on my burrito I would like the muchaco beef and the shredded pork
And some more cheese, please

Ok, that’ll be $22...
Uh, oh yes, I would like two lemonades and one medium iced-tea
Ok, that’ll be $20.07
Out of $22? ok, $1.52’s your change
Thanks a lot -- your food will be up -- here, let me get your drinks

Hi, can I help you? yes, I would like a basket of chips
I would like a beef chimi...
Umm, what is, what is the, what is the, what is the pollo asado?
That’s the chicken
Ok, what is the carne asado?
That’s the beef
Ok, let me get two carne asado tacos...~
posted by schyler523 at 4:07 PM on June 9, 2005

Pointless remark, solely due to sheeplike nature.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:15 PM on June 9, 2005

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." -- Gandhi
posted by gramschmidt at 4:20 PM on June 9, 2005

"Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the act of depriving a whole nation of arms, as the blackest." -- Gandhi
posted by gramschmidt at 4:21 PM on June 9, 2005

*snags a burrito and an iced tea and if that post was a reference to something, completely misses it.*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:21 PM on June 9, 2005

"There is a limit to the application of democratic methods. You can inquire of all the passengers as to what type of car they like to ride in, but it is impossible to question them as to whether to apply the brakes when the train is at full speed and accident threatens." -- Trotsky
posted by gramschmidt at 4:22 PM on June 9, 2005

"The author who speaks about his own books is almost as bad as a mother who talks about her own children." -- Benjamin Disraeli
posted by gramschmidt at 4:24 PM on June 9, 2005

"All X-Network Interface modules work with the Omni Switch/Router. Each chassis is equipped with a single power supply; with optional redundant supplies being sold separately." -- OmniSwitch Tech Specs
posted by gramschmidt at 4:27 PM on June 9, 2005

giddy acknowledgment of raedyn and nobody's "big plans," followed by mildly self-deprecating remark of some sort, possibly involving current haircut.

completely sincere declaration of sympathy to schyler regarding pain of broken heart. (Brief parenthetical aside alluding to own heartbreak endured during personal "lost year" of 2003-04.) Apology for having not contributed to schyler's AskMe thread regarding heartbreak music; now offers exquisite melancholy of Grant Lee Buffalo's "Mockingbirds" as suitable tune:

Devastation -- at last, finally we meet
After all of these years, out here on the street
I had a feeling you would make yourself known
You came along just to claim your place on the throne
And I have been overthrown
Overthrown...
posted by scody at 4:27 PM on June 9, 2005

small-typed warning that song is so powerful that scody recently found herself crying messily in rush hour traffic on way to gym when said song came on iPod, even two years after breakup; wry suggestion that song (like some medications) is perhaps best appreciated when not operating moving vehicle.
posted by scody at 4:34 PM on June 9, 2005

"Fuck you goddamn punk. Bring it on is exactly what I am gojng to do. You go fishing for trouble you no good son of a whore and that is exactly what you will get. When I say that I have had it with bastards like you that is exactly what I mean, and you are going to find out what that means too." -- cyclotouriste
posted by gramschmidt at 4:34 PM on June 9, 2005

While thanking scody for the beautiful sad song [and disclaimer](and obviously accepting apology), firmly repeats call to return to jovial parody (it helps to distract.)

Also congratulates raedyn and nobody on possibly snagging scody, mentions that haircuts are temporary.

accidentally mentions lack of incredibly long horizontal sentence that to read requires continual scrolling to side.
posted by schyler523 at 4:37 PM on June 9, 2005

*sings medley of "Eye Of The Tiger" and Kiss's "Burn Bitch Burn"*

makes observation that his parents met at my Dad's brother's wedding to my Mom's college roomate. Whether they found true love or whether they simply realized no-one else would have them is open to question, but they've been married 36 years come September. The brother who was married at said wedding drowned in a lake after having a few too many, and the roomate remarried, to a compulsive gambler.

concludes nonsensical yet oddly moving, vaguely on-topic family reminiscence and starts singing "The Wanderer" to cheer up schuyler.

I'm the type of guy that like to roam around....

notes that divine wino has woken up. dame ain't mad that I posted that picture of her in the 80's is she?
posted by jonmc at 4:38 PM on June 9, 2005

immediately regrets mentioning lack of incredibly long horizontal sentence that to read requires continual scrolling to side.
posted by schyler523 at 4:38 PM on June 9, 2005

accuses wendell of being one of them new waver wusses. puches palm
Actually iihmfc, he was part of the famous LA radio station known for playing new wave. Though his tenure was “prior” to it leading the new wave radio stations with it playing your rock n roll. Not the Southern Cali "kmet", but on par a "rok" station during the disco days.


Why I post all this - I’m in Texas and feel like a Can fluff, tin star.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:39 PM on June 9, 2005

See, schyler523. There are worse things than your current heartbreak. You could have heartbreak and have to worry about cyclotouriste tracking you down and sodomizing your mule.

*raises scotch to schyler*
posted by gramschmidt at 4:40 PM on June 9, 2005

Pays no heed whatsoever to content of comments,
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:42 PM on June 9, 2005

but berates schyler523 for posting long-winded stories.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:43 PM on June 9, 2005

Suggests chopping them up,
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:43 PM on June 9, 2005

preferably line-by-line,
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:43 PM on June 9, 2005

in order to up the comment count,
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:44 PM on June 9, 2005

in the interest of 9622++.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:44 PM on June 9, 2005

Heartbreaking story schyler, I raise my glass.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:46 PM on June 9, 2005

Notes that every time someone refers to him as "schuyler", poster is reminded of Caleb Carr and his protagonist John Schuyler Moore in The Alienist. Mentions that this is a good thing.

Explains to goodnewsfortheinsane that if poster hadn't gotten drunk before hand he might have come up with that on his own...notes that poster DID order enough mexican food for an army, which should keep us going for at least another 200 comments or so...
posted by schyler523 at 4:48 PM on June 9, 2005

did you make margaritas, too?
posted by jonmc at 4:55 PM on June 9, 2005

request that someone pass the guacamole, please.
posted by scody at 4:56 PM on June 9, 2005

Long self-indulgent personal story dropping several names you probably never heard of from my brief but semi-eventful association with the radio station that was known as the "Roq of the '80s" as early as 1978 and didn't know what to do with itself when 1990 came around until the Seattle Grunge Sound slid down the coast and washed away all the New Waver Wusses.

Twenty years later and I still have to occasionally remind myself: Depeche Mode - lame, Joy Division/New Order - cool.
posted by wendell at 5:00 PM on June 9, 2005

*tears open package of Trader Joe's guacamole, getting 32% of contents all over self, 68% into plastic bowl...
posted by wendell at 5:02 PM on June 9, 2005

*passes guacamole to scody*

*notes that "Mockingbirds" is a damned good song.*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:03 PM on June 9, 2005

mexican's ok, but Cuban food rocks. I need me some calamari with lime aioli and a chavvorayo (grilled chicken, jack cheese, avocado and garlic mayo) from Fatty's on Ditmars & Crescent. and several of their amazing mojitos to wash it down.

explains to wendell that me and my headbanger associates thought that "new wave" meant stuff like Duran Duran and A Flock Of Seagulls, and thus we hated it on general principles. It was only later that many of us learned that the term applied to stuff like Elvis Costello and Nick Lowe that many of us liked. Which accounts for the drunk hescher kids "punk shit" speech in the video I linked. He was merely befuddled, since my burnout buddies loved the Ramones and Suicidal tendencies as much as we liked Metallica, Megadeth and Judas Preist.
posted by jonmc at 5:04 PM on June 9, 2005

...mentally debates for an incredibly long time whether to offer scody a choice of guacamole.*
posted by wendell at 5:07 PM on June 9, 2005

*reads jonmc comment and frantically hides picture of self with Flock of Seagulls haircut*
posted by wendell at 5:08 PM on June 9, 2005

My head is spinning round, my heart is in my shoes, yeah
I went and set the Thames on fire, oh, now I must come back down
She's laughing in her sleeve boys, I can feel it in my bones
Oh, but anywhere I'm gonna lay my head, I’m gonna call my home

Well I see that the world is upside-down
Seems that my pockets were filled up with gold
And now the clouds, well they've covered everything over
And the wind is blowing cold
Well I don't need anybody, because I learned, I learned to be alone
Well I said anywhere, anywhere, anywhere I lay my head, boys
Well I'm gonna call my home

*rowdy New Orleans funeral march*
posted by kenko at 5:11 PM on June 9, 2005

I should also add that the few punks in my high school hung out with the metal/burnout kids for the most part, since they may have been forward looking when it came to music, but theywanted to party on friday night like everybody else and the burnouts knew how to let loose.

Which is why the Heavy Metal Parking Lot video backfires on the filmmaker's intentions. No matter how dumb or befuddled those kids seem, they look like they're having a blast. Any sane person probably develops an urge to crack a beer and sing Preist songs with them, in spite of themselves, cause they look like they're having a blast. And you know what? they were.

*fires up "You've Got Another Thing Coming," slugs from Bud tallboy*

wendell, you love Dr. Demento stuff, and that excuses any musical sins you might have committed, brother.
posted by jonmc at 5:12 PM on June 9, 2005

mentions in an aside that jonmc should eat at Versailles the next time he is in LA
Links to a funny song expressed in tablature that jonmc might find funny

Races home on bus to drink domestics and rock out...
posted by schyler523 at 5:15 PM on June 9, 2005

ha! I've never been to LA, actually. I want to go just once, because I've read so many novels set in LA. Now, if a book has a line saying "I met him at 14th and 3rd," or "I drove through Bensonhurst," I have an image in my head, but when some writer cracks wise about "the Valley," or "Slauson Boulevard," I draw a blank.

I developed my taste for cuban food when I lived in Florida. I hated the state with a passion, but croquetas jamon and cafelitos rule!
posted by jonmc at 5:27 PM on June 9, 2005

Everybody sing along!!!!

I surfed around the internets.
I never thought I'd find a site like this;
Find a site like this.
With drama queens and snarky guys;
The kind of guys that never give a piss;
Never give a piss.

Then Jrun, it took it all away.
That Jrun, it's down all night and day.
I couldn't FPP.

quonsar appears within the thread;
A screaming asshat's trolling right at you,
Trolling right at you.
The noobies fight the 14Ks.
Here comes NewsFilter Pepsi Blue.
NewsFilter Pepsi Blue.

Then Jrun, it took it all away.
That Jrun, it's down all night and day.
I couldn't AskMeFi.

So glad I bookmarked MetaChat;
I'm slowly getting thread 9-6-2-2;
Thread 9-6-2-2.
Reloaded page to try again;
A hotlinked goatse slowly comes in view;
Goatse comes in view.

Then Jrun, it took it all away.
That Jrun, it's down all night and day.
I'm going to MoFi.
posted by wendell at 5:35 PM on June 9, 2005

wendell, you love Dr. Demento stuff,
Poster whose name rhymes with "Send Hell" prepares even longer Dr. Demento story from 19-SEVENTY-4.
posted by wendell at 5:38 PM on June 9, 2005

Poster preemptively boots wendell in the head, and shows wendell many frightening pictures of Rodney and the slags he's shagged.
posted by loquacious at 5:43 PM on June 9, 2005

Angry, inflammatory observation that thread has become chat filter, posted just prior to realization that observation would have been better made at comment seven.
posted by gramschmidt at 5:43 PM on June 9, 2005

She went away for the holidays said she’s
Going to l.a. but she never got there
She never got there, she never got there, they say

The JJJ took my baby away they took her away
Away from me the JJJ took my baby away
They took her away away from me....
posted by qwerty155 at 5:47 PM on June 9, 2005

Totally and completely stolen from keswick in the AlexReynolds drama queen thread.


posted by gramschmidt at 5:51 PM on June 9, 2005

Is it just me or did the blogdar asshats change the image back to the ewok, then change it back to the goatse image after they read the comment that called the asshats?

*doh*
posted by qwerty155 at 5:53 PM on June 9, 2005

I'm playing japenese punk outit Hi-Standard's cover of the old Russ Ballard/Rainbow/Head East/Impelliteri/Alcatrazz chestnut "Since You've Been Gone." It fuckin' rocks and all they did was speed it up. More proof that in many ways, punk rock and butt-rock are the same thing, all the differences partisans prattle on about are irrelevancies that have exactly zero to do with how it actually feels to listen to the music.

My man black8 once said that he liked Black Flag's "TV Party" and Motley Crue's "Live Wire" for exactly the same reasons: they were both loud, fast, and unsubtle. I'll buy that with every thing I've got, dude.
posted by jonmc at 5:55 PM on June 9, 2005

Wait a minute... that wasn't a Flock of Seagulls haircut - I just slept on my head funny!
posted by wendell at 5:56 PM on June 9, 2005

*realizes what fun others will have with my last comment*
posted by wendell at 5:57 PM on June 9, 2005

MetaFilter: loud, fast, and unsubtle.
posted by wendell at 5:58 PM on June 9, 2005

This is a brief aside to honor keswick's posting in that thread. He was also responsible for the "Oh the Huge Manatee" picture, which killed me. The medal for valiant, consistently cutting posting in an atrocity-laden pile-on goes to keswick.

posted by gramschmidt at 5:59 PM on June 9, 2005

MetaFilter: loads slow, unstable.
posted by loquacious at 6:16 PM on June 9, 2005

DutifulPostIntendedToFulfillSchyler523'sRequestForAReallyLongRunOnSentenceThatForcesOneToScrollToTheRightALongWaysInOrderToReadTheWholeThingButWithoutKnowingHowMuchDataCanFitIntoOneScreenForAllThoseLuckyKidsWithBigMonitorsAndHighResolutionsThePostGoesOnAtMuchMoreLengthThanIsTrulyRequiredOrAppropriateOrAtLeastThatIsWhatThisSmallScreenedGeekIsHopingOrGuessingYouPickWhich.
posted by raedyn at 6:57 PM on June 9, 2005

I don't want your big French fry
I don't want your car
I don't want to buy no soap
From no washed up movie star
You are so much louder
Than the show I wanna hear
With your sugarless gum
Gee but I'm dumb
Non-alcoholic beer
It's enough to make a grown man
Blow up his own TV
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me

I heard you the first time
I heard myself say
Seems like the little woman
Is getting bigger every day
You don't have to tell the neighbors
A little silence ain't no sin
They already think my name is
Where in the hell you been?
Louder, louder, louder, louder, louder
Constantly
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me
Sweet serenity
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me

Ain't it great at the end of the day
When there ain't no sound around
Just me and the fence post
Staring each other down
Nothing but a big bunch of nothing
Driving me insane
Cause there ain't no voice that's louder
Than the one inside my brain
Hey you go on
Go on and let me be
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me
Sweet serenity

Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me
posted by jonmc at 6:58 PM on June 9, 2005

Belated realization that, after having previously expressed derision for anyone posting to the grey/gray out of a sense of duty, it's probably bad form to make a dutiful post.
posted by raedyn at 7:01 PM on June 9, 2005

Pre-emptive smacking of self with fish pancakes to save anyone else the trouble.
posted by raedyn at 7:03 PM on June 9, 2005

Gratuitously posts more song lyrics of questionable taste and propriety:

Here's the new shit I'm on
We can all get along
But if ya step to me wrong
I'm gonna bang ya like a gong
And I don't need a gang to do it
I creep solo
Beat ya till ya dead
Put out ya freakin head
That's how I do
Because I'm sick like dat
And you'll get kicked like dat
If ya fakin' the funk
I got a trunk full of beats
And a head full of rhymes
I got stains on my sheets
From all the good times
That I spent with ya Hookers
Some were good lookers
And some were just stunts
After too many blunts
Ya got ya arm around ya girl
But don't make me laugh kid
Gettin steam pressured
Your girl's schemin' on the grafted
Jail faced Celt
Backed up
Catch a welt
From the buckle
Of my belt
Now tell me how that felt
Oooh I'm on some of the over there shit (3x)
I'm on some Milky I don't care shit
I don't care...
It's the return of the livin dead
Put all concerned to bed
I'm alive and kickin'
Ask any girl I'm stickin
Back once again
I never shot the heroin
Or hit the glass pipe
Ass wipe
Stop the rumor
I'll kill ya like a tumor in your colon
I'll leave your shit all swollen
Get off my dick cause thick is how I'm rollin'
The Soul Assassainator'll
Get ya open like a crator
I'm down with psycho vader
cause I'm flava' like a plate a'
Corn beef and cabbage
I'm a savage on the set
Don't do nuthin' you'll regret
Because you'll end up gettin' wet like water
I'm out for slaughter
Cops lock up your daughter
Chorus
I rock it page style cause freed damaged ya
If ya play me close punk I'm gonna' damage ya
We got the FunkDoobie in the House
With the Mickey Mouse
I spot a hooker then I'm runnin up in ya blouse
I ain't a bitch so don't play me soft
I got a round in my chamber and the safety's off
Pullin' on the trigger
Ain't nuthin brave
But I'm a sick fucker
Like a red-neck trucker
And I just might buck ya down
You're starin' down my barrel
So ya jump around
Ya try to get away
But I'm too quick to pull
So don't try to gas me
Punk, my tank's full
I ain't got the time
I don't need the fuel
Punk we can duel
I'll take ya ass to school
Then break down the lesson
Here's the pop quiz
I get's top billin'
You can ask Iz
posted by jonmc at 7:04 PM on June 9, 2005

Ok, pack it up, people. Wendell wins. Mardi Gras is over. It's lenten loaves and meta-bile for the next 40 days. Tubgirl, I'm afraid I'm gonna hafta ask ya to put that away. You too keyfob boy.

---

posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:11 PM on June 9, 2005

You’re such a mystery I just want to stand and stare
Nibble on your ear and smell the ocean in your hair
You know you damage me you leave me tangled in a knot
But when you reappear I see Neptunian blues that eyes forgot
Neptunian blues that eyes forgot

I only feel alive when the vu’s flashing alarms going off in my head
I want to grab you and just kiss you maybe I should sit down
No sense in cashing us now
Still I only feel alright when the vu’s flashing bombs going off in my head
I want to grab you want to scream at you no icing me down
The party’s crashing us now
The party’s crashing us now

Oh well we made love like a pair of black wizards
You freed me from the past you fucked the suburbs out of me
And all those ugly days that made us so sick
They are just fossils now we’ve learned the elevating trick
We’ve learned the elevating trick
posted by gramschmidt at 7:12 PM on June 9, 2005

Nice try, though.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:14 PM on June 9, 2005

I couldn't FPP at my sister's wedding either. I was like 7.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:19 PM on June 9, 2005

Has the #comment anchor like moved recently? I swear she used to sit higher.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:24 PM on June 9, 2005

At my sisters wedding I was about 27. I didn't FPP but I got piss drunk. I was a groomsman and wore a tux. I looked like lurch.
posted by jonmc at 7:28 PM on June 9, 2005

Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best
Excitable boy, they all said
And he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

He took in the four a.m. show at the Clark
Excitable boy, they all said
And he bit the usherette's leg in the dark
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

He took little Susie to the Junior Prom
Excitable boy, they all said
and he raped her and killed her, then he took her home
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy
After ten long years they let him out of the Home
Excitable boy, they all said
And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy
posted by jonmc at 7:30 PM on June 9, 2005

. . .
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:39 PM on June 9, 2005

(schyler, that was incredible. I'm heartbroken for you and hope things work out or that at least you might sleep on the trampoline tonight.)

Acknowledgment of scody's acknowledgment of raedyn and my plans.

Giddy but -- who are we kidding? -- perhaps naive assurance that indeed this could work out, that in habitually passing across the distinct but permeable border between Canada and the United States, scody could form an equally distinct but permeable barrier in her heart between that portion dedicated to the Love of Her Life and that portion dedicated to the Canadian Love of her Life, and that because of my deep respect for both, and because of the years we've spent together, I could understand that scody would always be there for me, as I for her, just not in Canada.

Insistence that your hair looks great, but come on, the car's waiting and we're late for dinner.
posted by nobody at 7:42 PM on June 9, 2005

Posts incomprehensible set of links, for no apparent reason whatsoever. Wonders why everybody else doesn't understand.
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 7:51 PM on June 9, 2005

I feel a FUCK BUSH coming on.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:54 PM on June 9, 2005

Why does it keep timing out?!

posted by StarFucker at 4:39 PM PST on May 20
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:02 PM on June 9, 2005

You know, I forgot all about sportsfilter. Huh.

Oh, and

Observation that pets are really cool because having them allows you to say, out loud, things like "Elvis! Why did you pee on the floor?!?! You BASTARD!!!!" and to chuckle to yourself later when you realize the inherent absurdity of your outburst.
posted by yhbc at 8:03 PM on June 9, 2005

*sockpuppet comment to see if anyone responded to prior cameo comment*
posted by rev_crash_davis at 8:04 PM on June 9, 2005

Waves at crash again, politely asks him if he wouldn't mind putting the migs signal back up again.
posted by yhbc at 8:08 PM on June 9, 2005

Query as to whether gramschmidt's linked image might indeed refer to this user. Follow up question about whether or not gramschmidt really feels I've been careless.


Insistence that nowhere outside of this thread (and my user page) have I ever given in to the temptation to make puns involving my user name, that I in fact take this name very, very seriously and could talk for hours about Emily Dickinson and Richard Foreman and anonymity and corporeality in general, how it might appear both apropos and ironic to refer to oneself on the internet as being nobody or having no body, how this choice of a user name was not simply a "fuck you" to the community.

(Note of surprise that "fuck" is not in the mefi dictionary. Realization that perhaps I have never used such language on metafilter before.)
posted by nobody at 8:18 PM on June 9, 2005

Request that the user called "nobody" talk for hours about Dickinson, anonymity, etc..
posted by kenko at 8:34 PM on June 9, 2005

If, indeed, this WWII era soldier were to tell you his important military secrets instead of Her, would he in fact be betraying the nationalism implicit in urge-to-secrecy type propaganda posters like this? The poster clearly admonishes him to "TELL NOBODY". It does not explicitly stipulate that the soldier is forbidden to relate his information at all, whether to his Her or to a room or physical space suspected to be empty. It does not represent a proscription on the act of uttering, out loud (or, presumably, on paper), his information. Thus, if you are, in fact, a corporeal entity with the fortunate name of Nobody, would the solider be justified in relating his information to you?
posted by gramschmidt at 8:37 PM on June 9, 2005

Request that the users named Emily Dickinson and Richard Foreman talk for hours about nobody.
posted by wendell at 8:42 PM on June 9, 2005

This thread needs less cowbell and more Shel Silverstein...

In the Granville Greyhound station in the lightly drizzlin' rain
Sittin' on my suitcase, goin' quietly insane
All about you, girl,
All about you.
All about you and the no feelin'
Double-dealin' things that you do.

Every man in Granville
Says he knows you well.
Burn your ears if you could hear
The stories that they tell
All about you. . .

They say you're picked up every Thursday
In a rich man's limousine.
And some cat in San Quentin
Keeps on havin' nasty dreams
All about you. . .

Now the summer sun may burn my back
And these tears may dim my sight.
But before I die, there's a dirty book I'm gonna write
All about you, girl
All about you.
All about you and the no feelin'
Double-dealin' things that you do.
posted by wendell at 8:45 PM on June 9, 2005

I'm barely holding my fudge.
posted by loquacious at 8:52 PM on June 9, 2005

"Waves at crash again, politely asks him if he wouldn't mind putting the migs signal back up again"

Oh, all right.

But just this once.
posted by rev_crash_davis at 9:10 PM on June 9, 2005

Expresses surprise and awe that you're still at it.
posted by amberglow at 9:20 PM on June 9, 2005

My Dearest MetaTalk,

I received your invitation with pleasure and would love to attend 9622 on your
sumptuous arm! In this case, however, the conditional tense you see above is not
simple politesse; it really does imply a conditional statement, the end of which is,
despite the enthusiastic exclamation, "if I could."

You see, I leave tomorrow for a week on an electricity-less island off the coast of
Maine. I cannot join you at 9622 because by tomorrow night I will be trailing my
fingers in the water and watching the bioluminescent plankton blink blink blink in
their giddy, automatic reply. I will try. I will try to organize their blinking into
something intelligible to the geostatic satellites whose signals I'm sure you
monitor. I will try, through this nocturnal blinking, to post witty nightly updates
to your thread of choice. But the chance of success in this bioelectric endeavour
can be only very, very slim.

Please. No matter how unlikely my story sounds, do not think I am merely inventing
this tale to get out of spending another week in your surely (and surly) lovely
company. Perhaps you will accept photographic evidence that I have done this before:

.

Please,
nobody.


P.S. - Apologies for the linebreaks. I hope no one has a monitor that small.

P.P.S. - It's not me in the first ones.

P.P.P.S. - This thread better still be hopping when I return. Perhaps someone ought to
cache a copy or two in case things get out of hand and mathowie gets finicky.
posted by nobody at 9:36 PM on June 9, 2005

Post expressing suprise and awe that Amberglow, of all people, is surprised and awed.

(Also describes plot to win scody's heart while nobody's temporarily out of the picture.)
posted by bigbigdog at 9:39 PM on June 9, 2005

Post expressing shock and awe that both am'glow and bbd used the phrase "surprise and awe".
posted by wendell at 9:49 PM on June 9, 2005

P.P.P.P.S. - Scody: Wait for me.
posted by nobody at 9:50 PM on June 9, 2005

(Critiques bigbigdog's plot, giving it less than a 20% chance of success, especially after using the phrase "nobody's temporarily out of the picture")
posted by wendell at 9:55 PM on June 9, 2005

*adds blogdar site to hosts file, never to see again*
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 9:57 PM on June 9, 2005

Post expressing delight that fiendish plot has 20 percent chance of success -- batting .200 can get one into The Show.
posted by bigbigdog at 9:59 PM on June 9, 2005

Casually observes that "shaukundaugh" is in fact the original Algonquin word from which our current overused phrase is derived (it means, literally, "holy crap! can you believe it?"

Patiently waits for languagehat to come charging in to angrily refute the prior assertion, before he realizes he's been had.
posted by yhbc at 10:00 PM on June 9, 2005

Adds closing parenthesis

)
posted by yhbc at 10:04 PM on June 9, 2005

Followup post apologizing profusely, not for typo, but for implication that target of dastardly designs, the one and only, fair, principled, delicious, erudite, scholarly, wonderful Scody, could be referred to as a mere "show".

Followup paragraph preceded with "on preview" reminding poster that the reference was to farm leagues and Major League Baseball.

Additional followup paragraph, also preceded with "on preview", noting that thinking about baseball has certain connotations in certain contexts, which should not be viewed as endorsement of any particular interpretation of abovesaid dastardly designs.
posted by bigbigdog at 10:07 PM on June 9, 2005

Wonders how bbd could bring up baseball and dastardly designs without mentioning George Steinbrenner.
posted by wendell at 10:36 PM on June 9, 2005

Tells nobody that it looks like fun.
posted by kenko at 10:45 PM on June 9, 2005

Wonders how bbd could bring up baseball and dastardly designs without mentioning George Steinbrenner.

Takes this as a chance to point out that the Milwaukee Brewers managed to beat the Yankees in 2 games this week. Salary-wise, this would be the equiv. of a championship NBA team losing to High school upstarts.

Go Brewers (with a faint hint of hope in his voice).
posted by drezdn at 11:32 PM on June 9, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 11:53 PM on June 9, 2005

Takes this as a chance to point out that the Milwaukee Brewers managed to beat the Yankees in 2 games this week. Salary-wise, this would be the equiv. of a championship NBA team losing to High school upstarts

Don't forget the Yankees getting swept by the lowly KC Royals. That's like the chess team losing to the short bus kids.
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 11:55 PM on June 9, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 11:56 PM on June 9, 2005

"But anyway, it's really interesting how differently we all celebrate prayer breakfasts. I mean, like in Hollywood, you remember that -- they celebrate the prayer breakfast by praying for box office grosses and for cheap Botox. And here we talk about more important things, more important issues. My Uncle Teddy right now in Washington has a prayer breakfast. He's praying for more bacon and waffles. So everyone is praying for something, so this is the important thing." -- Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, at the California Prayer Breakfast of June 8, 2005
posted by gramschmidt at 12:03 AM on June 10, 2005

"Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is an astoundingly incredible comedian, perhaps the best performance art / stand-up act of the millenium. Best since Dave Coulier. Timing and delivery impeccable. Triple A+++. Would quote again." -- gramschmidt, in the Prodigious MetaTalk9622 Wank-Fest of June, 2005
posted by gramschmidt at 12:09 AM on June 10, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 12:09 AM on June 10, 2005

It burnsss us!
posted by loquacious at 1:14 AM on June 10, 2005

makes post commenting on lack of serious deep analysis of post after this point.

thanks raedyn for stepping up to fill the horizontal void. Smacks raedyn again with fish pancake for good measure.
posted by schyler523 at 1:39 AM on June 10, 2005

Wonders how Sylvia Plath got into this. Makes list of poets implicated in this thread :

- e. e. cummings
- Emily Dickinson
- Sylvia Plath

Tells pointless story about wandering around Amherst in the middle of the night with nothing to do and making a pilgrimage to Dickinson's grave and leaving behind some apples. Why apples, I don't know, they were in my purse. Why apples were in my purse, I have no idea. You've got to be prepared.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:10 AM on June 10, 2005

Returns in time to point out that, at the very least, they weren't plums from the freezer ('cause you're already so cold, that would be cruel) and you weren't referencing McGonagall.

Reluctantly surrenders self to sleepy time activities and begin softly snoring.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 3:45 AM on June 10, 2005

Ties in previous discussion of weddings with e.e. cummings :

this little bride & groom are
standing) in a kind
of crown he dressed
in black candy she

veiled with candy white
carrying a bouquet of
pretend flowers this
candy crown with this candy

little bride & little
groom in it kind of stands on
a thin ring which stands on a much
less thin very much more

big & kinder of ring & which
kinder of stands on a
much more than very much
biggest & thickest & kindest

of ring & all one two three rings
are cake & everything is protected by
cellophane against anything (because
nothing really exists
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:48 AM on June 10, 2005

Hates sticky 'S' on keyboard but sleeps anyway.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 3:49 AM on June 10, 2005

A poem by Emily Dickinson which mentions apples as a ex-post-facto explanation for previous story :

"Heaven" - is what I cannot reach!
The Apple on the Tree -
Provided it do hopeless - hang -
That - "Heaven" is - to Me!

The Color, on the Cruising Cloud -
The interdicted Land -
Behind the Hill - the House behind -
There - Paradise - is found!

Her teasing Purples - Afternoons -
The credulous - decoy -
Enamored of the Conjuror -
That spurned us - Yesterday!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:55 AM on June 10, 2005

Wishes Frisbee Girl a good night's sleep. Wonders if any more European MeFites are going to drag ass over here or if I'm just going to have to hold down the fort until the East Coast wakes up.

*goes searching for appropriate Plath poem to tie into thread.*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:57 AM on June 10, 2005

A poem for nobody.

Sylvia Plath - Night Shift

It was not a heart, beating.
That muted boom, that clangor
Far off, not blood in the ears
Drumming up and fever

To impose on the evening.
The noise came from outside:
A metal detonating
Native, evidently, to

These stilled suburbs nobody
Startled at it, though the sound
Shook the ground with its pounding.
It took a root at my coming

Till the thudding shource, exposed,
Counfounded in wept guesswork:
Framed in windows of Main Street's
Silver factory, immense

Hammers hoisted, wheels turning,
Stalled, let fall their vertical
Tonnage of metal and wood;
Stunned in marrow. Men in white

Undershirts circled, tending
Without stop those greased machines,
Tending, without stop, the blunt
Indefatigable fact.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:11 AM on June 10, 2005

Hey grapfruitmoon, what you doing sitting here on your own in the dark reciting Sylvia Plath?
That's not a happy place to be.

*sticks 16 Shells From A Thirty-Ought-Six on the stereo and starts dancing (stomping?) badly*
posted by qwerty155 at 5:07 AM on June 10, 2005

Starts making physical threats after being soundly thrashed in intellectual combat, failing to take into account the nature of the internets and thus; much like Johnny the Down's Syndrome sprinter; proves himself to be a "winner" in only the way someone participating in the Special Olympics can be considered a winner.

Refuses to preview or spell check or even amend the run on sentences. Threatens to "kick your ass" if you are ever in his home down. Feels the flow of testosterone.

Heads back to hot man-on-man masturbation video.
posted by longbaugh at 5:21 AM on June 10, 2005

I always assumed 'nobody' was an homage to the conventional user account of the http process.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:41 AM on June 10, 2005

*dances along*

Makes condescending comment that longbaugh's display of testerone would be better suited at one of those other community forums.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:53 AM on June 10, 2005

Thrashes madly at not so subtle hint regarding his masculinity. Threatens to prove it by forcibly sodomising dead grandparents.

Realises that as part of the S@L sockpuppet collective that being male or female is fundamentally irrelevent and that necro-incest-rape is frowned upon, even here in the land of the free*.

Moves to NYC to live in a yurt with a lesbian singer/songwriter and becomes a performance artist.


*except in mississipi
posted by longbaugh at 6:01 AM on June 10, 2005

Are you sure it's Mississippi? I thought it was Arkansas...

Makes comment referring to conservative argument that if we allow the gays to marry, that dead grandparents sodomy is next. Rhetorical question about whether a man's unnatural lust for his deceased relatives is really a crime?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:26 AM on June 10, 2005

[ok]
posted by jessamyn at 6:38 AM on June 10, 2005

For God's sake won't somebody think of the children dead grandparents!

Oh, actually, I thinking about that now *feels a little horny*

*slaps self round face & concentrates on something, anything else*
posted by qwerty155 at 6:39 AM on June 10, 2005

You beatniks got no stamina.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:44 AM on June 10, 2005

Terry Riley, he had stamina.
posted by kenko at 7:03 AM on June 10, 2005

Threatens to prove it by forcibly sodomising dead grandparents.

Well, thank God someone finally decided to have mercy on the poor mules.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 7:15 AM on June 10, 2005

jessamyn rulez!
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:18 AM on June 10, 2005

Debates spending $5 on purchasing sock puppet account named "Seed Filled OAP Buns" realises it would be better spent releasing pent up sexual energy on a cheap Thai hooker.

Notices hooker has a ding-a-ling.

Thinks "Meh, it's the 21st Century" and carries on.
posted by longbaugh at 7:33 AM on June 10, 2005

You beatniks got no stamina.

Scram, conformo.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:55 AM on June 10, 2005

I'm worried about Matt's "All posts are © their original authors" at the bottom of the page. Imagine a day in the distant future when MetaFilter has come to be known as the single best, most comprehensive and representative record of human culture around the turn of the century. The Internet itself is still seen as an integral information sharing tool, but not as a permanent repository of information. Thus, mathowie's estate decides to publish MetaFilter: The Book.

Would they be required to gain written permission from every one of our estates before publishing? Or will his estate have become such a powerful lobbyist group in D.C. that copyright law will have been changed by then to allow them to circumvent this need?

And what if the only thing my estate demands as royalties is a bag of Twizzlers?
posted by gramschmidt at 8:07 AM on June 10, 2005

Hell there are only five real accounts anyway - Matt can assimilate them Borg style and can them proceed to take over the world!

/third person perspective
posted by longbaugh at 8:08 AM on June 10, 2005

I won't be important enough to have an estate :(
posted by kenko at 8:13 AM on June 10, 2005

longbaugh, are you Matt or Kottke? Cause I'm Kottke.

I think. Or am I Anil Dash? I think accounts 3000 through 15000 are Anil. Right?

kenko? Matt, right?

Whoa, let me just get my head together...
posted by gramschmidt at 8:20 AM on June 10, 2005

*stands up*

"No, I'm Kottke"
posted by qwerty155 at 8:40 AM on June 10, 2005

I think I might be Mena. It would explain why I always felt out of place in my own body.
posted by kenko at 8:45 AM on June 10, 2005

Muted expression of inner joy due to continued posting occuring on 9622 v2. Pained realization that further project acccomplishments are unlikely today. Philosophical statement about good and bad being two sides of the same coin.
posted by Fezboy! at 8:49 AM on June 10, 2005

Observes that, at 830 comments, we are nearly half! way! there!
posted by kenko at 9:02 AM on June 10, 2005

I always feel out of place when I am in your body too.

Disturbing.
posted by longbaugh at 9:06 AM on June 10, 2005

In my body is just the right place for you, longbaugh.
posted by kenko at 9:14 AM on June 10, 2005

Always thought she was really Miguel Cardoso...

Makes note to self to write it down in her will that her estate shall demand a Viking style long boat filled with tiny handcrafted skulls for rights to "Metafilter : The Book." Oh hell, she'll just take the bag of twizzlers. Twizzlers sound good. Red ones, right?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:38 AM on June 10, 2005

Formal proposition that Fezboy! agree to the following:

1) I'm never going to do it without my fez on
2) Oh no

Subject to the following stipulations:

A) That's what I am
B) Please understand
C) I want to be your holy man

Signature____________________
posted by gramschmidt at 9:45 AM on June 10, 2005

welcome to der weinerschnitzel, may i take your order please?
yeah i want: two large cokes, two large fries chili-cheese dog, large doctor pepper super deluxe, with cheese and tomato
you want bill sperm with that?
NO!
posted by languagehat at 9:48 AM on June 10, 2005

You want cheese and tomato on your dr. pepper? Weird, man.
posted by kenko at 9:55 AM on June 10, 2005

"No, I'm twizzlers."
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:57 AM on June 10, 2005

"Hello, Carvel?"
"Yo man Cookypuss there?"
"Who?"
"Cookypuss, I want to speak to Cookypuss man!"
"No. Nobody here by that name."
"A Cooky O' Puss then. Cookychic, anybody man, I want to speak to them!"
"There not here."
"I said, I house ya, where's Cookie Puss at?
Yo I'm serious, I wanna talk to.. yo man
Cookypuss, alright let, let me order one then, let me get one."
"When do you want it for?"
"Anytime man, just like now and shit, you know, that shit now.
I'm talkin' now B. Damn bitch hang up, I'll kick your ass bitch"
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:23 AM on June 10, 2005

Ms. Fruitmoon:

Pursuant to our discussion, enclosed is your viking longboat.

Please cease and desist all abusive correspondence toward Ms. Fiona Haughey and her son languagehat, Jr.

Sincerely,
Horst Obfuscanton
Counsel, Teh Estate of mathowie


posted by gramschmidt at 10:27 AM on June 10, 2005

Be everything as it may, this transcontinental, international cyclotouriste is navigating to locate a good companion for an extended bicycling tour. Good is defined as---female, healthy, cyclist, with a sense of bold adventure, and the willingness to be compatable on an extended world tour with yours truly.

Starting time is---not any time soon.

Route is---to be decided by those on tour---you and me.

Length of time is---to be decided.

I be fifty-three, healthy, six feet, 180 pounds, good looking but nothing to get all up in the air about, blond receding hair, green eyes, university grad., writer, teacher. Can work in exotic locations and have done so, easy to get along with, adventurous, survivor, world traveler. Have bicycled thirty thousand miles through nineteen countries---USA, Canada, Mexico, western Europe, eastern Europe, former Soviet Union, China, south Korea.
posted by drezdn at 10:29 AM on June 10, 2005

*wakes up on lawn, slightly moist, again...*
posted by wendell at 10:32 AM on June 10, 2005

*notices dead grandparents and mule lying next to him; freaks out*
posted by wendell at 10:33 AM on June 10, 2005

*also notices bike has been stolen - suspects drezdn*
posted by wendell at 10:34 AM on June 10, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:44 AM on June 10, 2005

Is it just me, or has this thread broken MetaFilthy?
posted by wendell at 10:45 AM on June 10, 2005

posted by wendell at 10:53 AM on June 10, 2005

You mean we're not just tossing off for nothing? We're actually unit testing MetaFilthy? Hey, maybe I can charge my employee for this time after all.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:55 AM on June 10, 2005

My employer too.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:56 AM on June 10, 2005

Points out that he actually purchased the noted viking longboat for his son and regrets it whenever he is impaled in the foot by an inch long plastic dagger.

Also notes that he likes playing with his son's dolphin in the bath 'cos it squirts water and it's just fun, okay?
posted by longbaugh at 10:58 AM on June 10, 2005

Mentions that she needs the Viking longboat to match this tshirt:



(notes that this actually me in the photo and not some random Viking-lover)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:10 AM on June 10, 2005

consoles wendell, tells him that it isn't just him, it happens to lots of guys...
posted by schyler523 at 11:16 AM on June 10, 2005

Makes a disjointed comment that purportedly compliments grapefruitmoons shirt, but actually just reveals crush...

wonders out loud if viking shirts are more common over in vikingland.
posted by schyler523 at 11:25 AM on June 10, 2005

Grapefruitmoon's wearing Veggie Tales!! I'm totally endeared by them in a very non-Christian way. (Weird, I know.)
posted by Frisbee Girl at 11:33 AM on June 10, 2005

Wonders where to get a Thai hooker for $5.00 while fondling his Viking Longboat.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:35 AM on June 10, 2005

Mentions that she has two Viking tshirts and a Viking hat, but all were gifts purchased in the US. Has yet to see or receive comment on Viking tshirt here in Viking-landia.

Further mentions that "to go Viking" (að fara ì vìkìng) is a phrase in Icelandic which means either to go on an epic adventure abroad or to go on a pillaging spree. Can be either heroic or mischeivous. Thinks that this is a good phrase.

*starts singing "Bunny, bunny, oh I love the bunny" song...*

(Yeah, I like singing vegetables in a non-Christian sort of way.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:37 AM on June 10, 2005

Slightly o/t, when I lived in Seattle, I had an assistant, who after a spirited night of joining the gang in drinking our way from the financial district to lower Queen Anne, called in late to work the next morning having woken up san pants in the front seat of a U-Haul in West Seattle. With no recollection of how he got there or why he didn't wake up in his bed in Ballard.

I didn't have the heart to write the poor guy up.

(Apologies to those not familiar with Seattle proper: Seattle is roughly between West Seattle and Ballard, and getting to West Seattle late at night was no small task.)
posted by Frisbee Girl at 11:50 AM on June 10, 2005

Posts hoping to cause an earworm pandemic:

My bologna has a first name, it's O S C A R,
My bologna has a second name, it's M A Y E R,
Oh, I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I'll say,
'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B O L O G N A !
posted by deborah at 12:11 PM on June 10, 2005

I can't believe no one has posted this yet


posted by moift at 12:27 PM on June 10, 2005

Stammers in disgust about how furry animated creatures just turn into goatse.

Makes triumphant noises about leaving thar interweb to go outside.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:32 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:38 PM on June 10, 2005

Sings a little song.
posted by kenko at 12:42 PM on June 10, 2005

Guys, we should spread out a little, people are gonna think we're in a band or something.
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:44 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 12:58 PM on June 10, 2005

Please, share with us your hardware. Here's my current system:


posted by gramschmidt at 1:07 PM on June 10, 2005

I just got the worst manicure EVAR from a co-worker.
posted by kenko at 1:49 PM on June 10, 2005

Any pictures? A botched manicure is potentially 9622v2 GOLD!
posted by gramschmidt at 2:39 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:41 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:42 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:43 PM on June 10, 2005

big salty tears
is what i taste
as i drive
past your house
tonight
and all those break lights
that are in front of me
they make me
want to get on tonight

i'm at the age where i realize
the liquor store won't bring you back
i must be gettin' old
i'm at the drive-thru
and I'm making my face
all fat fat fat fat fat
big salty tears

i'm at the age where i realize
nothin' actually
just do what i'm supposed to do
$2.17
next window please please please please please
big salty tears
posted by schyler523 at 2:44 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:46 PM on June 10, 2005

names you probably never heard of from my brief but semi-eventful association with the radio station that was known as the "Roq of the '80s" as early as 1978 and didn't know what to do with itself when 1990

Wendell, older than you think and heard them all, yet mostly late at night for the DrDemenot show
By the way, the station decline is seen little by little when redesigning the station bumper stickers with a full decline airing a less 80’s designed logo. The time was before nirvana & grunge, when Blades dj’d more Morrissey’s fan news than the station’s regular music format of new & newer music. Didn’t infinity buy them out around then and they actually had a formatted music play list?
posted by thomcatspike at 2:46 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:47 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:58 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:59 PM on June 10, 2005

The language of the frost lobs dead balloons over ruins today
In view of wan wordless crowds that chase waifs to spires with fiery plumes
And incite the firmament’s portrait of ’A Drowning in Styx’
That gives impotents kicks

Boredom murders the heart of our age while sanguinary creeps take the stage
Boredom strangles the life from the printed page

Masking vapor trails from Mercury for a killer on Umbria
Who crippled birch mares now briars replace their old cotton limbs
Who will tell? I mean would it make a difference?
Look metal flower petal tears do not even appear in the Myopic Mirror

The moon was sagging in the sky as I held her face to mine
All our thoughts were coming in so clear beyond the Myopic Mirror
We were darting from the place where we just couldn't fit
For away from all the violence safely flying in our own orbit

Why do I always have to tell you ”forget about the prescient signs!”?
Forget about the life we knew
May we never be stripped of anything we love
may we grow so gentle never go mental
may we never go go mental
may we always stay stay gentle

what was my number? 114395? I don care!
No no no no no
posted by gramschmidt at 3:05 PM on June 10, 2005

Hey, gramschmidt.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:25 PM on June 10, 2005

Yeah?
posted by gramschmidt at 3:25 PM on June 10, 2005

This horse appears dead.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:26 PM on June 10, 2005

So?
posted by gramschmidt at 3:26 PM on June 10, 2005

So why are you still beating?
posted by gramschmidt at 3:27 PM on June 10, 2005

*humbly bows out of thread as tiny laptop and limited bandwidth cause thread to load/hang indefinitely (apparently not a MeFi wide issue as other threads load quickly.) Shouts parting cheer to remaining MeFites*

NEVAR SURRENDER!!! (Well, you know, until the 30 days are up and all)
posted by Frisbee Girl at 3:27 PM on June 10, 2005

KROQ is utter crap, and has been for at least six years.

I am willing to believe it was better in decades past.
posted by kenko at 3:29 PM on June 10, 2005

Because it's not dead, it's just tired and bogged down with too many images. And I'm not beating, I'm brushing. It's so close to 900. It seems a shame to let it die now.

*tears well, music swells*
posted by gramschmidt at 3:30 PM on June 10, 2005

But we just lost Frisbee Girl. Do they not sell robust laptops and offer swifty broadband in the Bay Area?

Perhaps we shall never know.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:31 PM on June 10, 2005

Perhaps we shall post larger and larger images in the interest of exclusion.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:34 PM on June 10, 2005

Or perhaps smaller and smaller:


posted by gramschmidt at 3:35 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 3:35 PM on June 10, 2005

How about making sure the boys over at the Department of Homeland Security get a copy?

nuclear
Iran
North Korea
dirty bomb
flatbed
treason
payback
butternut squash
9/11 Nevar Forgit
fertilizer
rendezvous
overpass
BRATZ! Boyz
Paul Thomas Anderson is a fucking hack
Alger Hiss
posted by gramschmidt at 3:41 PM on June 10, 2005

Or maybe some marketing research fodder:

Justin Timberlake
Pepsi
Burger King
Britney
Paris Hilton
The Doodle Town Pipers
Brad Pitt
Cheetos
Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy in "Indian Love Bride"
posted by gramschmidt at 3:47 PM on June 10, 2005

Like Chariots of Fire
posted by gramschmidt at 3:49 PM on June 10, 2005

we strain toward the finish
posted by gramschmidt at 3:49 PM on June 10, 2005

though finish it be not
posted by gramschmidt at 3:50 PM on June 10, 2005

but just another milestone
posted by gramschmidt at 3:50 PM on June 10, 2005

and we suspect
posted by gramschmidt at 3:51 PM on June 10, 2005

someone is watching
posted by gramschmidt at 3:51 PM on June 10, 2005

and waiting
posted by gramschmidt at 3:52 PM on June 10, 2005

to snag 900 from us
posted by gramschmidt at 3:53 PM on June 10, 2005

and that's okay
posted by gramschmidt at 3:53 PM on June 10, 2005

though I don't think the count is correct
posted by gramschmidt at 3:55 PM on June 10, 2005

Formal apology to gramschmidt for not responding sooner. Vague indication toward JRun and work as an excuse.

Stipulation that I never go anywhere or do anything w/o a fez. Consideration of life in a position as holy man. Statement of near-phobia of entailed relationships with others. Rejection of gramschmidt's stipulations.

Bestowment of mega props to gramschmidt for toiling on and taking up the torch while others shirk their duty.
posted by Fezboy! at 4:04 PM on June 10, 2005

Butternut squash!
posted by kenko at 4:04 PM on June 10, 2005

*exhasuted, passes out*
posted by gramschmidt at 4:06 PM on June 10, 2005

*REVIVES*
posted by gramschmidt at 4:07 PM on June 10, 2005

encourages gramschmidt to hold fort around dead horse because um, can't think of reason. promises to turn on sprinklers again if gramschmidt and other mefites are still on lawn around 12:30am saturday.
posted by Cranberry at 4:36 PM on June 10, 2005

There's A Pig

There's a pig on my street
He's got a gun and he's after me
I tried to run, tried to stay cool
But there's a pig, I ain't a fool
Cause this pig he's after me
He's got my number but I'm still free

Didn't pay the bill it cost 20 bucks
Now it's over 100, and I'm outta luck
I see the pig he's over there
Asking' round this ain't fair
Cause this pig he's after me
He's got my number but I'm still free

What can I do to get some peace
To keep the pig outta reach
I gotta do what's right, what I gotta do
Is get that pig and shoot him dead
Cause this pig he's after me
He's got my number but I'm still free

There's a pig on my street
He's got a gun and he's after me
I'll shoot him dead, I'll fire his gun
I'll get the man, I'll get the man
Cause this pig he's after me
He's got my number but I'm still free

I'm still free
posted by schyler523 at 4:42 PM on June 10, 2005

Never squeal on th' pusher- don't lie to your momma
just do watcha wanna- it'll be ok
don't swim in the water- don't fly in the day time
just do watcha wanna- it'll be okay
never smuggle no candy- cant be watcha wanna
when you haffa go down to the darkest places- yeah
don't say what's really on you mind- gots to give it just a little more
and try to remember this rhyme and youll be ok

I know I turn you on- I think you and I could get along
don't get me wrong your gonna be okay
say it with me now
posted by schyler523 at 4:47 PM on June 10, 2005

*staggers into party from the pub to see who's around, realises most people are flagging. Passes round cans of lager to schyler and gramschmidt and settles on couch to watch the fractal video that appears to be enthralling the straglers that won't go home*
posted by qwerty155 at 4:58 PM on June 10, 2005

posted by qwerty155 at 5:01 PM on June 10, 2005

Quick, name the mefite in the home video.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:06 PM on June 10, 2005

gramschmidt, schyler and grapefruitmoon, you guys are truly the Guardians of SonOf9622.

Me, I'm just *slightly* less pathetic.

Giggles out loud at self-perceived accomplishment in the field of irony, then realises there's no one around.


No one.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:26 PM on June 10, 2005

*gets annoyed at still being in the room but not acknowledged by goodnewsfortheinsane. Disappears off to the toilet hoping that he will be noticed on his return*
posted by qwerty155 at 5:31 PM on June 10, 2005

Notes that it's easy to be the guardian of a thread when you have all the free time in the world.

Further notes that she just got back from eating whale at a friend's house. Hopes that Greenpeace doesn't get wind of the photos when they are posted on Flickr later on.

Though certainly, by mentioning it in this thread, Homeland Security is going to check into my files.

"Grapefruitmoon : 5'4" female w/lipring and dubious haircut. Spends too much time writing crap on the internets. Takes pictures of boring things. Judging by dietary habits, has some sort of vendetta against chickens and wants to destroy them all. Too lazy to learn Icelandic."
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:50 PM on June 10, 2005

All of this acknowledging has made my bladder go icky. I'll think I'll pay a visit to the toilet.

*knocks on door*

Hey! Who's in there??

Ah. It's probably nobody.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:03 PM on June 10, 2005

I'll be out in a minute

*flushes, leaves toilet and mumbles "hello", goes off to sulk in the corner*
posted by qwerty155 at 6:08 PM on June 10, 2005

*sigh* They really seem to enjoy their trips to the john. Sits quietly imperforate.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:28 PM on June 10, 2005

So, no guesses on the video? Hint: user number under 20K.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:30 PM on June 10, 2005

Bigger than a bread basket.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:51 PM on June 10, 2005

By the way, the station decline is seen little by little when redesigning the station bumper stickers with a full decline airing a less 80’s designed logo. The time was before nirvana & grunge, when Blades dj’d more Morrissey’s fan news than the station’s regular music format of new & newer music. Didn’t infinity buy them out around then and they actually had a formatted music play list?
I'm not terribly clear on the exact timetable of the Decline of KROQ - remember, I (a) am getting senile now and (b) couldn't have spent any time there without losing brain cells at the time.

But I do remember that about two years after they stopped letting me and the other comedy writers in the building (of all the categories of hangers-on to kick out first...), I was reunited with the DJ known as Swedish Egil at, of all places, a Catholic Pre-Marital Group Counselling Session.
posted by wendell at 7:03 PM on June 10, 2005

And that is the LEAST humiliating story about my time at KROQ I can tell, except for when this guy took my picture and messed with it...
posted by wendell at 7:12 PM on June 10, 2005

kroq is the old hfs. except?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:12 PM on June 10, 2005

No one important's still reading this thread...

*hears crickets*

*attempts lame Buddy Holly joke*
posted by wendell at 7:14 PM on June 10, 2005

or mebbe i'm talking outta my ass
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:14 PM on June 10, 2005

uh...IIHAA, which character?
posted by schyler523 at 7:50 PM on June 10, 2005

I feel a FUCK BUSH coming on.

You know, I forgot all about sportsfilter. Huh.

Well, yeah, ok yhbc. That was probably uncool of me to brings politics to your mule party. I'm sorry. Understand, in the very depth of my soulhole, I've experienced thedevildancedlightly apologizing for Satan himself. Just as I am here before you today, apologizing.

Maybe he means well, with the lightness of his dance, but I hate his master. I hate him. So, I got a little out of hand. I'm sorry, but the given the state of my mindhole and this shithole situation, really it should have been worse.

I mean, ... I'm sorry, ok? My biggest regret is that by participating in meta9622's birthing, I contributed to it's inevitable return to dust.

But that's my only hope as well. And Armageddon won't be so bad, maybe.

There will at least be the friends we've made here this week. And maybe -- just as twinkle of life touched down on this planet eons ago -- goatse may survive within the libraries of advanced amoeba cultures, and we will all live on through him.

on preview: que, schyler? item? I think he played ralph malph in the off-broadway version.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:04 PM on June 10, 2005

Cactus? I'm rather confused.
posted by loquacious at 8:20 PM on June 10, 2005

schyler, anus, wendell, qwerty, goodnews, item, cranberry, kenko, fez, frisbee, grapefruit, and anybody else diligently monitoring this beautiful tarpit of a thread, you are all invited to the 9622v2 Clusterfuck Meet-Up Whale BBQ at grapefruitmoon's place. I suggest consulting various last-minute online cut-rate services for cheap airfare to Iceland. I will be taking Amtrak from San Diego to Boston and then swimming to Reykjavik. What time, grapefruitmoon?

Anus: Was zum Teufel? Wer ist das? I have no legitimate guess. My illegitimate guess is that the child is quonsar and the adult male he keeps whalloping is mathowie. JRun ruins relationships.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:33 PM on June 10, 2005

loquacious is in, obviously.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:34 PM on June 10, 2005

Heated rebuttal of a minor point in an earlier comment combined with ad-hominen attack that are really carryover from a previous grudge match in the blue.
posted by LarryC at 9:00 PM on June 10, 2005

Jumps up and down! Party! Gets towel, prepares to hitchhike to Boston, swim to Iceland. Would really prefer to apparate. Hopes not to be harpooned like whale. Puts lawn sprinklers on timer; sets them on stun.
posted by Cranberry at 9:37 PM on June 10, 2005

Post apologizing to scody and nobody. Explanation involving alcohol and late nights, which nobody believes.

Additional paragraph explaining difference between rhetorical use of term "nobody" and reference to actual poster "nobody."

Sentence describing poster's desire to sleep everything off and hide in big hole.

Post-script-ish final sentence recognizing yhbc's masterful use of metatalk, which wonders what would have happened if metat post 9622 had gone to someone else. Additional sentence expressing dismay at possibility of world-variant hypothetical actually coming to pass.
posted by bigbigdog at 9:49 PM on June 10, 2005

Call me Ishmael... Yar.

*sharpens harpoon, carves scrimshaw*
posted by loquacious at 9:53 PM on June 10, 2005

wonders why no one commented on the greatness of that photo of the prom guy with a ups truck crashed in a ditch behind him.

would be mortified to realize that they did, many times, several hundred comments back.
posted by sophieblue at 9:55 PM on June 10, 2005

wonders why no one commented on the greatness of that photo, way upthread, of the prom guy with a ups truck crashed in a ditch behind him.

would be mortified to realize that they did, many times, several hundred comments back.
posted by sophieblue at 10:00 PM on June 10, 2005

suggestion to sophieb that if you want to jump-start interest in an image attached to a comment way upthread from here, you should link to it.
posted by wendell at 10:03 PM on June 10, 2005

Or better yet, show it again...

posted by wendell at 10:05 PM on June 10, 2005

I just got drunk with two friends of mine, one of whom is an exceedingly hot girl I've had it bad for for, say, three years even though she told me about 18 months ago she doesn't fancy me. It's quite likely I'll rarely if ever see either of them again, owing to the exigencies of my nearing departure from Chicago (in August) and their summer plans followed by their own departures from the city in the following year when they graduate.

By a remarkable coincidence I happen to be listening AOTW to Huun-Huur-Tu singing "Eshten Charlyyry Berge", which apparently means "It's Hard to be Parted from a Friend".
posted by kenko at 10:43 PM on June 10, 2005

So, if you're likely never to see them again, what possible reservation could you have against propositioning the girl, right this second?
posted by gramschmidt at 11:09 PM on June 10, 2005

I don't think that would improve relations with my girlfriend. NTM she already indicated that she wasn't interested, however long ago that may have been. Plus despite my general pessimism I tend to think that people who actually want to keep in touch and see each other will do so.

(As for "right this second", well, she already left, and when she was here, so was our other friend.)
posted by kenko at 11:13 PM on June 10, 2005

Whale and longboats for all! I'll pick you suckers up off the coast as you start floating in. Do follow the signs and try not end up in Greenland - I don't have time to haul ass to Greenland to fish you out AND cook for you.

If you're lucky, I'll even break out the traditional Icelandic liquor. Or perhaps I should say, if you're unlucky, I'll even break out the traditional Icelandic liquor.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:26 AM on June 11, 2005

Ah, mother Iceland! I can hardly wait to see the sites:


posted by gramschmidt at 4:26 AM on June 11, 2005

Not to mention the sights:


posted by gramschmidt at 4:27 AM on June 11, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 4:28 AM on June 11, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 4:33 AM on June 11, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 4:34 AM on June 11, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 4:38 AM on June 11, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 4:41 AM on June 11, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 4:43 AM on June 11, 2005

Ah, the Blue Lagoon. It is my personal mission to see how much time I can spend in Iceland and not go to the Blue Lagoon.

15 months and counting...

(Not that I have anything against giant natural hot-tubs. It's just a "let's see if I can avoid being a tourist" thing.)

Also : Anyone interested in photos of the city, I have a metric assload over here.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:48 AM on June 11, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 4:50 AM on June 11, 2005

Iceland: Truly a land of contrasts.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:53 AM on June 11, 2005

It's just a "let's see if I can avoid being a tourist" thing

Sometimes difficult, I know. There was an article in the NY Times called "If No Icelanders Admit to Feeling Blue, Are They?" last December in which the author seemed to imply that Icelanders staved off winter depression in part by regular visits to public tubs. I wonder if many Americans' perceptions (at least the perceptions of those who are discerning enough to even have perceptions) of Iceland are colored by this article?

Is this not a common thing for locals to do?
posted by gramschmidt at 5:03 AM on June 11, 2005

Here's the article.
posted by gramschmidt at 5:06 AM on June 11, 2005

Hoorah. Now my comment is part of history. Crappy history, but history nonetheless.
posted by Colloquial Collision at 5:16 AM on June 11, 2005

(Yeah, I've read the article. I also know from experience that most Icelanders - at least the ones I know - prefer the dark winters to the bright summers.)

Oh, public hot tubs/swimming pools are totally common. There's one really near my house (where I ran into Björk) that I go to fairly frequently and it's always full of people.

What's not common is driving forty minutes through a landscape that looks like MARS to get to the armpit of Iceland where the Blue Lagoon is located. I have yet to hear of a local going to the Blue Lagoon without a tourist in tow.

(The Blue Lagoon is near Keflavík, where the US army base and the airport are. According to The Xenophobe's Guide to the Icelanders - ask an Icelander why the airport is in Keflavík [which is, as mentioned, an ARMPIT], they'll say it's because that's where the Americans are. Ask them why they put the Americans in Keflavík and they'll tell you it's so they could be close to the airport.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:17 AM on June 11, 2005

Ha! Tourist wrangling requires skill. Many people don't like to admit that they are "tourists," and resent the moniker. So the challenge becomes manufacturing something that placates and separates.

"Yes, please, visitors, come, bring your money and leave it with us, but we suggest not straying from this one square kilometer. It's beautiful, authentic and totally represents life as experienced by the natives, we swear! Everyone in Iceland eats at Chuck-E-Cheese, honest!"
posted by gramschmidt at 5:39 AM on June 11, 2005

And it appears as though you already have a longboat.
posted by gramschmidt at 5:41 AM on June 11, 2005

That's not MY longboat. It exists on top of an Italian restaurant downtown.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:53 AM on June 11, 2005

Fervent acceptance of invitation to grapefruitmoon's place. Anticipation of onion domes and Inca ruins. Hope that gramschmidt hasn't been misleading thread readers.
posted by languagehat at 7:21 AM on June 11, 2005

Assures languagehat of existence of onion dome. Seems to have misplaced Inca ruins again... perhaps they're hiding under a glacier... they're very tricksy.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:47 AM on June 11, 2005

Expression of surprise.
posted by kenko at 7:59 AM on June 11, 2005

We'll never make it to 1000.
posted by loquacious at 8:04 AM on June 11, 2005

*stagers in with black coffee in hand, yawning*

You lot still here?
posted by qwerty155 at 8:36 AM on June 11, 2005

*considers the fact that he should really stop writing posts in the third person as he is now starting to do it in the realworld^TM*
posted by qwerty155 at 8:40 AM on June 11, 2005

*then considers posting 35 (more) pointless posts in a row so that he can claim the much coveted 1000th post at the party.*


*Decides not to bother as he will probably miscount and achieve the slightly less coveted 993rd post. Finishes coffee and goes for a quick snooze*
posted by qwerty155 at 8:46 AM on June 11, 2005

There's a party?
posted by kenko at 9:16 AM on June 11, 2005

Reconsiders manicure.
posted by kenko at 9:16 AM on June 11, 2005

Roland was a warrior
From the land of the midnight sun
With a Thompson gun for hire
Fighting to be done
posted by kenko at 9:18 AM on June 11, 2005

The deal was made in Denmark
On a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra
To join the bloody fray.
posted by kenko at 9:19 AM on June 11, 2005

Through sixty-six and seven
They fought the Congo war
With their fingers on their triggers
Knee-deep in gore.
posted by kenko at 9:21 AM on June 11, 2005

Days and nights they battled
The Bantu to their knees
They killed to earn their living
And to help out the Congolese.

[chorus]
posted by kenko at 9:23 AM on June 11, 2005

His comrades fought beside him
Van Owen and the rest
But of all the Thompson gunners
Roland was the best.
posted by kenko at 9:25 AM on June 11, 2005

So the CIA decided
They wanted Roland dead
That son of a bitch Van Owen
Blew off Roland's head.

[chorus: when he died they washed him out with a hose]
posted by kenko at 9:28 AM on June 11, 2005

belated declaration of intent to order new business cards with the phrase "the one and only, fair, principled, delicious, erudite, scholarly, wonderful scody," courtesy of bigbigdog.

*joins in singing with kenko"
posted by scody at 9:30 AM on June 11, 2005

Roland searched the continent
For the man that done him in
He found him in Mombasa
In a barroom drinkin' gin.
posted by kenko at 9:30 AM on June 11, 2005

Roland aimed his Thompson gun
He didn't say a word
But he blew Van Owen's body
From there to Johannesburg.

[chorus: all together now, scody!]
posted by kenko at 9:33 AM on June 11, 2005

The Eternal Thompson Gunner
Still wand'rin through the night
Now it's ten years later
But he still keeps up the fight

In Ireland, in Lebanon
In Palestine and Berkeley
Patty Hearst
Heard the burst
Of Roland's Thompson gun and bought it.
posted by kenko at 9:36 AM on June 11, 2005

lusty rendition of chorus! notation of intent to put more Warren Zevon on iPod!
posted by scody at 9:53 AM on June 11, 2005

Posts noting that gramschmidt seems horribly lost.
posted by deborah at 10:09 AM on June 11, 2005

Considers whether or not to post more song lyrics, decides that, at the moment, it's best to keep mum.
posted by kenko at 10:09 AM on June 11, 2005

*scratches stomach, blinks eyes, goes back to sleep*
posted by drezdn at 10:37 AM on June 11, 2005

TVLand has been playing rarely aired sitcoms all morning. They had the F-Troop where Milton Berle played the new medicine man for the Hakawi tribe. And they played Wonder Woman, featuring the woman who made me realize I was a heterosexual at age 9. Now they're playing Alice.You can all kiss my grits.
posted by jonmc at 10:47 AM on June 11, 2005

Considers whether or not to post more song lyrics, decides that, at the moment, it's best to keep mum.

But then we'd miss this:

Judy in disguise, well that's what you are
Lemonade pie with a brand new car
Cantaloupe eyes come to me tonight
Judy in disguise with glasses

Keep a-wearing your bracelets and your new rara
Cross your heart - yeh - with your living bra
Chimney sweep sparrow with guise
Judy in disguise with glasses

Come to me tonight, come to me tonight
Taking everything in sight
Except for the strings on my kite

Judy in disguise, hey that's what you are
Lemonade pies hey got your brand new car
Cantaloupe eyes come to me tonight
Judy in disguise with glasses

Come to me tonight, come to me tonight
Taking everything in sight
Except for the strings on my kite

Judy in disguise, well what you aiming for
A circus of horrors, yeah, well that's what you are
You made me a life of ashes
I guess I'll just take your glasses


*froogs with fervor*
posted by jonmc at 10:53 AM on June 11, 2005

In Delaware when I was younger
I would live the life obscene
In the spring I had great hunger
I was Brando I was Dean
Blaspheming booted blue-jeaned baby boy
Oh how I made them turn their heads
The townie brownie girls they jumped for joy
Begged me to bless them in their beds

In Delaware when I was younger
I would row upon the lake
In the spring I had great hunger
I was Keats I was Blake
My pimpled pencil pains I'd bring
To frogs who sat entranced
My drift-dreamed ditties I would sing
The water strider danced

In Delaware when I was younger
I thought St. Andrew had sufficed
In the spring I had great hunger
I was Buddha I was Christ
You wicked wisemen where's your wonder
You pharisees someday will pay
See my lightning hear my thunder
I am truth I know the way

In Delaware when I was younger
posted by kenko at 11:13 AM on June 11, 2005

Signifyin' monkey told the lion one day
there's a bad motherfucker comin down your way
talkin' bout your mama and your sister lou
talkin' bout how good that your grandma screw
he talked about your uncle and your sissy brother Joe
said he think you eat pussy but he wasn't for sho'

Lion took off like a mighty breeze
knockin' coconuts down
and giraffes to their knees

he came up on the others and said
"hey, big bad motherfucker, I heard some shit about you.
about all these bad things that you 'sposed to do"

The elephant looked at the lion out the corner of his eye
sais "Pleease, Mr. Lion pick on somebody your size!"
Lion jumped up and made a fancy pass
and the elephant kicked him right square in his ass

The lion roared and swung from the ground
and the elephant knocked his big ass right back down

Lion went back to the jungle more dead than alive
and that's when the monkey really started his jive
"I thought you call yourself the jungle king?
I found out you ain't a goddam thing.
My old lady told me just before you left
I could probably kick your ass my motherfuckin' self."

The monkey got happy and started jumpin' up & down
his left foot missed the rim and his ass hit the ground
like a strike o' lightnin' and a ball o' heat
the lion was on the monkey with all four feet
The monket cried "please mr. lion, take my nuts out your hand, and I'll stand up and fight you like a natural man"
The lion backed up all ready to fight, and the monkey said
"Bye, motherfucker!" and ran dead out of sight...
posted by jonmc at 11:30 AM on June 11, 2005

Smart monkey.
posted by kenko at 11:35 AM on June 11, 2005

Heartfelt appreciation for posting of lyrics to "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner." But... but... how could you leave out the chorus??

[bellows:]

Roland the headless Thompson gunner
Norway's bravest son
They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun—
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun!

[happy sigh]
posted by languagehat at 11:39 AM on June 11, 2005

Also: we'll never make 1000.
posted by languagehat at 11:42 AM on June 11, 2005

Statement that this arrangement, by allowing languagehat to supply a bellowing chorus himself, actually made languagehat happier than he would have been had poster included the chorus in his original postings.

Observes that we are now talkin' about the man.
posted by kenko at 11:51 AM on June 11, 2005

or signifyin', as the case may be.
posted by jonmc at 11:53 AM on June 11, 2005

Poster who has arrived at his vacation destination wanders back into thread much calmer because California has that effect on one, offers free oral sex to everyone to share the joy.

Also requests a brief yet witty recap of the last 500 comments.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:13 PM on June 11, 2005

Peerhaps the lion's sissy brother Joe would be interested...
posted by jonmc at 12:16 PM on June 11, 2005

Also requests a brief yet witty recap of the last 500 comments.
Also requests a flying car, a windows computer that doesn't crash and an opportunity to personally upchuck on George W. Bush's shoes without getting arrested. Ain't gonna happen.
posted by wendell at 12:24 PM on June 11, 2005

Also requests one of grapefruitmoon's longboats to meet me at the Santa Monica Pier with a discount coupon for passage through the Panama Canal. (Invites all Southern California MeFites along if they promise to row - scody excepted)
posted by wendell at 12:28 PM on June 11, 2005

clarification: scody's invited; she's just the only one who doesn't have to row, he flirted
posted by wendell at 12:29 PM on June 11, 2005

Does anybody know if we've hit 1000 yet?
posted by wendell at 12:31 PM on June 11, 2005

Because my other tab on Firefox with the archive page doesn't update past "993" no matter how often I hit Reload.
posted by wendell at 12:32 PM on June 11, 2005

And considering I've posted the last 6 comments...
posted by wendell at 12:33 PM on June 11, 2005

Self-indulgent celebratory declaration of 1000th comment on either this or previous entry.
posted by wendell at 12:35 PM on June 11, 2005

Obligatory declaration that we'll never make 2000...
especially if gramschmidt keeps posting pictures...
posted by wendell at 12:37 PM on June 11, 2005

posted by jonmc at 12:43 PM on June 11, 2005

posted by jonmc at 12:44 PM on June 11, 2005

traditional Icelandic liquor all around. the thread was calibrated at 1001 when I started slogging through, er, make that enjoying today's comments.
Question: is long boat Icelandic equivalent of short bus?
posted by Cranberry at 1:06 PM on June 11, 2005

I have two pictures in my head : one is a bunch of mentally handicapped Vikings in the "short boat" and the other is a bunch of mentally handicapped citizens wielding swords on the short bus.

Both are hilarious, if unsettling.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:34 PM on June 11, 2005

This is for you, scody:

Grapefruit moon, one star shining, shining down on me.
Heard that tune, and now I'm pining, honey, can't you see?
Cause every time I hear that melody, well, something breaks inside,
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining, can't turn back the tide.

Never had no destinations, could not get across.
You became my inspiration, oh but what a cost.
Cause every time I hear that melody, well, something breaks inside,
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining, is more than I can hide.

Now I'm smoking cigarettes and I strive for purity,
And I slip just like the stars into obscurity.
Cause every time I hear that melody, well, puts me up a tree,
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining, is all that I can see.
posted by kenko at 2:24 PM on June 11, 2005

Seems like an odd song to dedicate to scody.

What is it with this scody? She has entranced you all!

I'm willing to part with the longboat, but I'd like my song back.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:30 PM on June 11, 2005

What is it with this scody? She has entranced you all!

Once tagged by the q-man, she has become the crush of all of straight male MeFites, replacing the mysterious madamjujujive. Of course, I can claim to being among the earliest entranced, at the Feb. 2004 L.A. Meetup where she was clearly the most fascinating unattached lady (with apologies to MoFi's Space Kitty who was aggressively flirting with me), and having commiserated with her painful jaw surgery (myself having major dental issues still awaiting other persistant medical issues to be resolved) and wondering if she still has access to free tickets to major cultural events in L.A. (yes, there ARE cultural events in L.A.), but thinking I should probably just have taken this to email but since I've already made embarassing revelations about my behavior two decades ago in this thread, what the hell...
posted by wendell at 3:14 PM on June 11, 2005

And grapefruitmoon, if you are unable to get your song back, you could always get a sock puppet account as "grapefruitjuicyfruit", from the Jimmy Buffet song:

Grapefruit a bathin' suit you chew a little juicy fruit wash away the night
Drive-in you guzzle gin commit a little mortal sin it's good for the soul
And oh it gets so damn lonely when you're on a plane alone
And if I had the money honey I'd strap you in beside me
And never ever leave you leave you at home all alone and cryin'

(Okay, not as good, but better than Weird Al Yankovic's "Grapefruit Diet" song, and that's all my google-fu could find)
posted by wendell at 3:26 PM on June 11, 2005

Yes, dedicating "Grapefruit Moon" to someone else in this thread seems rather odd, like dedicating a Los Lobos song about fatherhood to someone other than WolfDaddy.

So, in the interest of Username Propriety, I am re-dedicating the song "Grapefruit Moon", by Tom Waits, to our Italian longboat-photographing, Iceland-dwelling 9622v2 colleague, grapefruitmoon:

Grapefruit moon, one star shining
Shining down on me
Heard that tune, and now I'm pining
Honey, can't you see?
Cause every time I hear that melody
something breaks inside
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining
Can't turn back the tide

Never had no destinations
Could not get across
You became my inspiration
Oh, but what a cost
And every time I hear that melody
something breaks inside
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining
is more than I can hide

Now I'm smoking cigarettes
and I strive for purity
And I slip just like the stars
into obscurity
And every time I hear that melody
puts me up a tree
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining
is all that I can see
posted by gramschmidt at 4:13 PM on June 11, 2005

And "Wendell Gee", by R.E.M., is dedicated to, uh, loquacious:

That’s when Wendell Gee takes a tug
Upon the string that held the line of trees
Behind the house he lived in
He was reared to give respect
But somewhere down the line he chose
To whistle as the wind blows
Whistle as the wind blows, with me

He had a dream one night
That the tree had lost its middle
So he built a trunk of chicken wire
To try to hold it up
But the wire, the wire turned to lizard skin
And when he climbed inside
There wasn’t even time to say
Goodbye to Wendell Gee
So whistle as the wind blows
Whistle as the wind blows, with me

If the wind were colors
And if the air could speak
Then whistle as the wind blows
Whistle as the wind blows
posted by gramschmidt at 4:18 PM on June 11, 2005

And the song "Put Me Down", by The Cranberries, goes out to...I don't know, fuck, maybe Frisbee Girl?

Let me take you
By the hand
Away from here
To another land
Oh this land in which we live
Where people love and are meant to forgive
And you always prove me wrong
'Cos you're always putting me down

I can't take this anymore
I decided to leave
Walked throught the door
Oh, and why do you think I go
Because you know it can never be so
And you always prove me wrong
'Cos you're always putting me down

La, la, la...
posted by gramschmidt at 4:26 PM on June 11, 2005

Damn you all. Do you know how long its taken me to find my copy of Closing Time?

Also, I've just got back from the pub and eaten an unhealthily large number of skittles so I now feel like I'm going to start bouncing round the room.
posted by qwerty155 at 4:44 PM on June 11, 2005

This Klee goes out to deborah:


posted by gramschmidt at 4:57 PM on June 11, 2005

Glad to have my song back, nothing against the ravishing Ms. Scody.

So, who do the ladies of MetaFilter have the hots for? Quonsar?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:00 PM on June 11, 2005

qwerty gets a Brakhage still:


posted by gramschmidt at 5:01 PM on June 11, 2005

*looks up brakhage on teh wiki but still doesnt really get it, decides on preview that he's nott sure if there may or may not be anything to 'get'*
posted by qwerty155 at 5:11 PM on June 11, 2005

And Bix Beiderbecke for King Oliver:


posted by gramschmidt at 5:11 PM on June 11, 2005

And "Wendell Gee", by R.E.M., is dedicated to, uh, loquacious:
gramschmidt, "Whistle as the wind blows" where the sun don't shine.

Although, discounting the spelling error, I actually prefer "Mr. Wendal" by Arrested Development (the group, not the TV show)

Here, have a dollar,
in fact no brotherman here, have two
Two dollars means a snack for me,
but it means a big deal to you
Be strong, serve God only,
know that if you do, beautiful heaven awaits
That's the poem I wrote for the first time
I saw a man with no clothes, no money, no plate
Mr.Wendal, that's his name,
no one ever knew his name cause he's a no-one
Never thought twice about spending on a ol' bum,
until I had the chance to really get to know one
Now that I know him, to give him money isn't charity
He gives me some knowledge, I buy him some shoes
And to think blacks spend all that money on big colleges,
still most of y'all come out confused
Go ahead, Mr.Wendal
Go ahead, Mr.Wendal
Mr.Wendal has freedom,
a free that you and I think is dumb
Free to be without the worries of a quick to diss society
for Mr.Wendal's a bum
His only worries are sickness
and an occasional harassment by the police and their chase
Uncivilized we call him,
but I just saw him eat off the food we waste
Civilization, are we really civilized, yes or no ?
Who are we to judge ?
When thousands of innocent men could be brutally enslaved
and killed over a racist grudge
Mr.Wendal has tried to warn us about our ways
but we don't hear him talk
Is it his fault when we've gone too far,
and we got too far, cause on him we walk
Mr.Wendal, a man, a human in flesh,
but not by law
I feed you dignity to stand with pride,
realize that all in all you stand tall
posted by wendell at 5:17 PM on June 11, 2005

Stan Brakhage's stuff is pretty good, so it's just an association of something good with someone good, not a deft comment upon the western keyboard -- unless you want to claim that the swirling, disorienting images in a Brakhage film speak to the disconnected nature of a post-structuralist, fractured-image-driven world in the same way that the top-left-most letters on the keyboard represent the preferred though intrinsically disconnected method of communication among the most technologically inclined members of this world.

So if you want to make this claim, go ahead. I'm not going to stop you.
posted by gramschmidt at 5:51 PM on June 11, 2005

Hello 9622v2-ers-

I've been out and about doing things with my life - mostly playing songs to people, so it's good to see you guys doing the same in online and verbal form.

That's about it.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:22 PM on June 11, 2005

Ponders going into business writing business cards. Decides writing song lyrics obviously more important to society at large and mefi at small.

Revises dastardly plot to involve quonsar (in role of spinning ball of light).
posted by bigbigdog at 6:52 PM on June 11, 2005

inappropriate shoutout to "homies" and mention of spilled forty oz. malt liquor for no discernable reason.
posted by shmegegge at 7:09 PM on June 11, 2005

*Slips in large puddle of malt liquor, injures back, promises to sue every "homie" at home*
posted by wendell at 7:15 PM on June 11, 2005

Peerhaps the lion's sissy brother Joe would be interested...

affectionate expression of appriciation to jon for the sly bowie reference. heartfelt thanks for wonderful song dedications.

slightly drunk, giddy tangential announcement of actually having just come back from the Best! Second! Date! EVAR! (at a SHOOTING RANGE, no less -- though I hasten to add that the whiskey followed the guns, not the other way 'round)...followed by fervently sincere declaration of intention to continue to flirt with fellow beloved MeFites, as I'm not yet 100% sure of this guy, but positive of all of your good intentions.
posted by scody at 7:26 PM on June 11, 2005

Pops in to check on the experiment, pat everyone on the back for such good effort and offer a note of encouragement:

At 1025 comments, already more than half way to a new record. Just 700 more comments to go in the next 25 days. Don't want to fall just short.
posted by casu marzu at 8:54 PM on June 11, 2005

I, for one, know better than to compete with a guy who knows how to shoot a gun...
posted by wendell at 8:56 PM on June 11, 2005

Patient explanation to casu marzu that #1142 was the record holding longest thread prior to #9622.

1142 has something else in common with 9622, but if I tell you what it is, the Cabal That Doesn't Exist will send somebody to my house to forcably remove my spleen.

In fact, I may have already said too much.

Is that somebody at the door?
posted by wendell at 9:03 PM on June 11, 2005

Worst case scenario: The Cabal hires scody's date to rub me out.

His name isn't Mr. Smith, was it?
posted by wendell at 9:06 PM on June 11, 2005

Poster with name from REM song needs to stop trying to continue a story arc in this thread and just make more non-sequitur comments.
posted by wendell at 9:08 PM on June 11, 2005

By the way, I give SonOf9622 8 on the Coolness scale, but only 5 for Darkness (self-link).
posted by wendell at 9:14 PM on June 11, 2005

Must...
posted by wendell at 10:00 PM on June 11, 2005

Increase...
posted by wendell at 10:01 PM on June 11, 2005

Comment...
posted by wendell at 10:02 PM on June 11, 2005

Count...
posted by wendell at 10:03 PM on June 11, 2005

Before...
posted by wendell at 10:03 PM on June 11, 2005

gramschmidt...
posted by wendell at 10:04 PM on June 11, 2005

Posts...
posted by wendell at 10:05 PM on June 11, 2005

More...
posted by wendell at 10:05 PM on June 11, 2005

Pictures...
posted by wendell at 10:06 PM on June 11, 2005

Wait.....

Wait....

Scody is a girl? Grapefruit Moon is a girl?

I thought Metafilter was a sausage party. Now what am I supposed to do with all this ketchup?
posted by drezdn at 10:22 PM on June 11, 2005

Poster asks himself what he's doing on a Saturday Night in L.A.

Poster decides not to wait for Cabal Assassin; shoots self.
posted by wendell at 10:23 PM on June 11, 2005

Now what am I supposed to do with all this ketchup?

Let me have it to use as fake blood to fake my death so that the Cabal Assassin will ignore me...
posted by wendell at 10:25 PM on June 11, 2005

Pow.


posted by gramschmidt at 10:44 PM on June 11, 2005

I did briefly resolve to use smaller images, but no one really took me up on it.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:46 PM on June 11, 2005

And as far as Arrested Development is concerned, I have been concerned for quite some time now that there is an uncredited Prince sample in the song "Tenessee". One would think that, given Prince's obsession with ownership and compensation, there would have been a bigger stink about it.

Then again, I only pay fleeting, inconsistent attention to the popular music press, so there very well may have been. I was probably listening to Janacek string quartets with headphones at the time.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:49 PM on June 11, 2005

Hey wendell, what's the weather like in L.A.?
posted by gramschmidt at 10:51 PM on June 11, 2005

where is everybody?
posted by Cranberry at 1:42 AM on June 12, 2005

it is early evening in OZ. are there no Australians to maintain the thread until Europe wakes up?
posted by Cranberry at 1:43 AM on June 12, 2005

Looks back into thread after being away for a couple of days and remarks that that gramschmidt fella is certainly pulling his share. Just hopes he doesn't get it all over the keyboard.
posted by geekyguy at 2:46 AM on June 12, 2005

Yeah, what's with Australia?!?quest111one11

I can't fall asleep on the couch, wake up several hours later and, on my way stumbling to the bed, make a brief stop at the computer to check on Teh Thred EVERY night.

Though it is possible.

*head nods, nods, lower, lower, smacks on desk*
posted by gramschmidt at 3:25 AM on June 12, 2005

well past 1000...on the way to 2000...
posted by gen at 3:48 AM on June 12, 2005

Obligatory sunday afternoon Euro post.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:15 AM on June 12, 2005

Guaranteed 100% content-free.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:16 AM on June 12, 2005

contemplates scody frooging to "These Boots are Made For Walkin'" in a Wonder Woman costume.
posted by jonmc at 5:54 AM on June 12, 2005

Wonders about the possibility of this thread remaining open for ever.

Remembers the part about fucking dead pensioners.

Thinks perhaps it best that it dies.

Wonders what members of the self appointed MeFi police would say about this whole charlie-foxtrot.
posted by longbaugh at 6:27 AM on June 12, 2005

Woke up late, sorry.

Last I checked I was a girl... sorry to disappoint. I can try to belch a little if that would make things more comfortable. I can't fart though, haven't developed the skillz.

As Billy Connoly says - the difference between men and women is that men can keep secrets and women can hold in a fart.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:43 AM on June 12, 2005

Get's all emotional - decides to scare fellow MeFites with images of himself and wife who he hasnt seen for 11 months. Thanks those on AskMeFi without whom it'd be a lot longer than the 4 weeks we have left...





Thanks all of y'all for being the most decent online community evar. Sends out psychic love waves to all those involved.
posted by longbaugh at 7:08 AM on June 12, 2005

You've got a lovely wife there, longbaugh.

Oh, pyschic love makes me all verklempt!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:37 AM on June 12, 2005

Posts wondering if goodnewsfortheinsane is trying to make a point.
posted by deborah at 7:40 AM on June 12, 2005

longbaugh, part of the problem may be the difference in size between you and your wife. You're so much smaller than she is. I don't think this marriage is going to work, with or without the visa.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:20 AM on June 12, 2005

makes post aknowledging aliveness for those wondering about such things...

mentions that LA weather is fairly cool and cloudy...laments return to nasty hot and humid MO

curses weak hearts and modern love for leaving him out to dry...hopes for best for longbaugh and giant wife
posted by schyler523 at 8:46 AM on June 12, 2005

Temporarily removes gramschmidt from the list of people in receipt of psychic love. I am notoriously unphotogenic hence the tiny wee picture - IRL I am 6'4" and she is 5'2", all part of the amazing (and torturously longwinded) plan to make my penis look even bigger than it actually is.

Notes that as he lives in the UK having temperature variation deviating from "wet" is something to dance a jig about. Starts dancing jig. Looks outside. Hopes dashed, returns to cup of tea.

Lends gramschmidt's stock of love to schyler523 in the hopes that this may assist in anyway.
posted by longbaugh at 8:54 AM on June 12, 2005

Whoa, so I lose psychic love just for being a realist?!?

Damn, it's like the time I got kicked out of the Creation Museum at the Institute for Creation Research by demonstrating the impossibility of the Noachian flood to the docent.

No, man, in all seriousness, your situation sucks. But you're only four weeks away, you say?
posted by gramschmidt at 9:08 AM on June 12, 2005

Explains to longbaugh that there is no use sending love his way quite yet, as he is very likely to squander it...decides to quote lyrics that approximate his feelings but never quite get the actual feeling...

The Death of Ferdinand de Saussure

I met Ferdinand de Saussure
On a night like this
On love he said
"I'm not so sure
I even know what it is
No understanding
No closure
It is a nemesis
You can't use a bulldozer
To study orchids"

He said...
So we don't know anything
You don't know anything
I don't know anything
about love
But we are nothing
You are nothing
I am nothing
Without love

I'm just a great composer
And not a violent man
But I lost my composure
And I shot Ferdinand
Crying "it's well and kosher
to say you don't understand
but this is for Holland-Dozier-Holland"

His last words were
We don't know anything

His fading words were
We don't know anything
posted by schyler523 at 9:11 AM on June 12, 2005

Notes that weather in Iceland is grey today. Yesterday was lovely - a balmy 59F! There's summer for you!

Resents living within spitting distance of the arctic circle.

So, longbaugh : what's your visa deal? I'm American, my husband's Icelandic, and I'm in the middle of green-card-o-rama.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:13 AM on June 12, 2005

*wakes up on lawn AGAIN, covered in ketchup, but no dead pensioners or mules, just an empty Wonder Woman costume - fears I've missed something*
posted by wendell at 9:28 AM on June 12, 2005

Here's your Southland* Weather from the WendellWeather Patrol Double Doppler Satellite SkyWatcher StormTracker Meterological Global WendellWarming HD 3D Climate Center in North Hollywood...

It was over 59F at 7AM with overcast/low clouds due to our local Weather WonderTwins, Catalina Eddy and Offshore Flo, clearing by 11AM and going up to a High of 76F Downtown (where nobody is**), 71F at the Beaches (where everybody goes) and 84F in the (gagmewithaspoon) Valley (where everybody goes back to after the Beach)

0% chance of rain, 100% chance of earthquake aftershocks in Anza, which is 30 miles farther east than that Chino place they always talk about on The OC. And yes, I felt the earthquake.

*what we call the Los Angeles metropolitan area, having nothing to do with the Real Southern region of the U.S., about which we know little and wish to know less
**does not apply to scody and the other MeFites in Southern California who are much cooler than Wendell
posted by wendell at 9:53 AM on June 12, 2005

grapefruitmoon, I apologize for dedicating your eponymous song to scody. I was just trying to stir up trouble.
posted by kenko at 10:08 AM on June 12, 2005

I meant to toss this in during the Song Lyrics Festival last night...

Let's dedicate this one to MetaFilter...

THIS MUST BE THE PLACE (NAIVE MELODY)

Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb - burn with a weak heart
(So I) guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It´s ok I know nothing´s wrong . . nothing

Hi yo I got plenty of time
Hi yo you got light in your eyes
And you´re standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love
Cover up + say goodnight . . . say goodnight

Home - is where I want to be
But I guess I´m already there
I come home - -she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can´t tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time Before we were born
If someone asks, this where I´ll be . . . where I´ll be

Hi yo We drift in and out
Hi yo sing into my mouth
Out of all tose kinds of people
You got a face with a view
I´m just an animal looking for a home
Share the same space for a minute or two
And you love me till my heart stops
Love me till I´m dead
Eyes that light up, eyes look through you
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me on the head Ah ooh
posted by wendell at 10:10 AM on June 12, 2005

EARTHQUAKE!!1!!1!!1
posted by loquacious at 10:12 AM on June 12, 2005

He blowes it east, he blowes it west,
He blowes it where he lyketh best.
posted by kenko at 10:16 AM on June 12, 2005

Eh, if I was going to stir up trouble, I'd get a bigger spoon.

(I'm not entirely sure what I mean by this.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:27 AM on June 12, 2005

The Kultivator album Bardomens Stigar is worthy of its reputation as a lost Canterbury/zeuhl classic.
posted by kenko at 10:40 AM on June 12, 2005

We're never going to make 1074
posted by qwerty155 at 10:42 AM on June 12, 2005

According to the archive page, qwert, your comment was 1075. HA!

That said we'll never make 1076.
posted by kenko at 10:50 AM on June 12, 2005

I thought it was 1073. Damn. But ha! that means you posted 1076. Haha - so you were wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong. haha
posted by qwerty155 at 10:54 AM on June 12, 2005

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
posted by kenko at 11:00 AM on June 12, 2005

Is there any chance we could make it to 2525?
What would be the chances of man still being alive? Could woman survive?
posted by longbaugh at 11:03 AM on June 12, 2005

Worst.
Song.
Of.
The.
Next.
600.
Years.
posted by wendell at 11:25 AM on June 12, 2005

Is there any chance we could make it to 2525?

Well, I quit my job a couple of weeks ago because I just couldn't stand it anymore. Anyway, as of the 30th June I will be unemployed so I'll lots of time to come in here and do a Jim Jones
posted by qwerty155 at 11:25 AM on June 12, 2005

wendell only says that because he has forgotten to set the alarm to take his happiness pill in 3535...
posted by longbaugh at 11:57 AM on June 12, 2005

Someone should make this better.
posted by kenko at 12:09 PM on June 12, 2005

Pretentious post proclaiming this entire thread an excercise in dadaism.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 12:13 PM on June 12, 2005

Post proclaiming goodnesfortheinsane's mom an exercise in dadaism.

Short, sharp amused exclamation! Announcement of having "zinged" goodnewsfortheinsane!

"Zing!"
posted by kenko at 12:24 PM on June 12, 2005

You could say it started out as all sun and games. You should have seen them, these proud young bloggers, riding in on their trusty steeds, clad in wonderful sequined robes.... did someone just put that Postal Service record on? Most can't tell if it's playing anymore, it's permanently carved onto their cortexes. Es. Xes. Exes.

Ha - I was just scraping the mildew off of my grapheme applicette when someone complained about the preview button being sticky. Little did they know that the translucent goo was in fact - suddenly, a voice cried: "Nobody ever said there was a cabal!"

Then the most gruesome thing happened. And the crowd went mild.

Many wandered off to work or play or whatever - we couldn't see them leave, but their absence was telling. After the smoke cleared, there were [unintelligible] strewn everywhere. Me, I'd rather have a pancake. Meanwhile a flock of uniformed cleaner-uppers appeared as if out of nothing. I think they were from 14K, or at least that's what the suits said. They looked kinda scruffy. Zing, indeed. Were we dreaming? Regardless, she said:

Something old, something new, something double-posted, to the blue.

I was discussing Leif Ericson with this giant woman, reaching for the quoriform clargue, no wait, the slonder barse.... it was too late. It all faded to grey.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 12:50 PM on June 12, 2005

Poster makes a lame-duck dadaist post about running into the thread buck naked carrying a live chicken, a bucket full of prawns and an original, flaking copy of Issac Newton's supposed "rape manual" while whispering something about radioactive teeth.

Poster then posts about calmly and mundanely donning an impeccable Brooks Brothers suit, highly polished wingtips, a power tie, and walking quietly out of the thread.
posted by loquacious at 12:58 PM on June 12, 2005

Expresses disbelief that people are still here. Explains that a tab was left open in browser and was just now discovered. Contemplates over a cup of coffee and underneath a headache associated with last night's libations.
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:58 PM on June 12, 2005

Explains that a tab was left open in browser and was just now discovered.

An example of web micro-archaeology. Or: how Firefox saved teh 9622v2.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:23 PM on June 12, 2005

Is there any chance we could make it to 2525?

If man is still alive...
posted by jonmc at 1:40 PM on June 12, 2005

Poster whose name sounds like a hamburger chain's brother wonders if it's time to declare MeTa9622 Taglines!

MetaTalk 9622: And the crowd went mild.
MetaTalk 9622: Something old, something new, something double-posted, to the blue.
MetaTalk 9622: We're never going to make n
MetaTalk 9622: It's permanently carved onto their cortexes. Es. Xes. Exes.
MetaTalk 9622: Short, sharp amused exclamation!
MetaTalk 9622: If I was going to stir up trouble, I'd get a bigger spoon.

*tries to hand off baton to somebody.... ANYBODY...*
posted by wendell at 1:44 PM on June 12, 2005

Hey, if I get 3 out of 6 taglines, I ain't complainin'.

*wanders off to fry some ferrets*
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:00 PM on June 12, 2005

We're not gonna make it
Oh, no!
We're not gonna make it

Cause there's a million better threads
With a million better posters
Writers who can spell
Posters who can post

Deep in my heart
I do believe
We're not gonna make it
Oh, no!
We're not gonna make it

Cause we don't have the talent
And we don't have the time
We don't have the patience
And we don't know how to rhyme

Deep in my heart
I do believe
We're not gonna make it
Oh, no!
We're not gonna make it

No, no, no, no, no, no
We're not gonna make it!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:07 PM on June 12, 2005

And another 9622v2 theme song:

The Mefite Has Been Drinkin'
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:25 PM on June 12, 2005

Whoooot. Glad to see I have a tagline.

*dances around*

Glad to see I don't have anything else to say... hrmmmm...
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:28 PM on June 12, 2005

This baked potato's lost some steam.
posted by ColdChef at 2:34 PM on June 12, 2005

I hereby claim this thread and all its riches for myself and my descendants.
posted by languagehat at 2:38 PM on June 12, 2005

Ah, so the Hat will do 9622v2 - the Book!

This posts is © its original author.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:46 PM on June 12, 2005

Dibs on 9622v2, the Animated Series...
posted by wendell at 3:01 PM on June 12, 2005

I hereby claim languagehat and all his descendants, and any riches that may accrue to them, for myself and my descendants.
posted by kenko at 3:03 PM on June 12, 2005

Notes that the thread loads much faster when you set your browser not to retreive images.
posted by kenko at 3:06 PM on June 12, 2005

Blinks. Repeatedly.
posted by ubersturm at 3:07 PM on June 12, 2005

wait a minute, this thread has riches?

*massacres natives and claims thread in the name of....Ireland. They could use it*
posted by jonmc at 3:30 PM on June 12, 2005

This baked potato's lost some steam.

...Ireland. They could use it

Am I seeing a pattern?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:52 PM on June 12, 2005

Well, rather more modestly I'm claiming one of the 9622v2 taglines. But then I've never been a particularly ambitious individual.
posted by qwerty155 at 4:18 PM on June 12, 2005

*On reflection realises that he has to share the 'we'll never make it to n' tagline with about 30 other people*
posted by qwerty155 at 4:26 PM on June 12, 2005

gives qwerty155 pep talk. Tells him you must be greedy to get along in USA...oh, wait... he's not?
posted by Cranberry at 4:32 PM on June 12, 2005

9622v2, the Animated Series...

Now! In Graymation!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:41 PM on June 12, 2005

Tells him you must be greedy to get along in USA...oh, wait... he's not?

Not... greedy? Not getting along? What?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:45 PM on June 12, 2005

gives qwerty155 9622v2 pep talk. Tells him it you must be greedy posting a lot to get along in USA... break the soon-not-so-legendary record.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:48 PM on June 12, 2005

Paging casu marzu... could you give us an update?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:51 PM on June 12, 2005

oh, and: qwerty155 - you still here?

(overdue acknowledgement)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:55 PM on June 12, 2005

Am I seeing a pattern?

*bangs goodnewsfortheinsane with silleleagh*
posted by jonmc at 5:11 PM on June 12, 2005

Ouch, mcjon, you hit gnfti right in the blarney stones...
or the shamrocks...
or the lucky charms...
posted by wendell at 5:32 PM on June 12, 2005

Did you mean: shillelagh?

</google>

BTW don't you just luuurve the word "bludgeon"? I do.

The word, you know, not the act.

Top o' the day to you, sir.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:35 PM on June 12, 2005

Okay, that's it. We're voting. Please place your vote for Best Tagline of 9622v2 So Far, taking wendell's nominations in account as entries A-F. The continued current shortlist:

G MetaTalk 9622: ...and this came from where?
H MetaTalk 9622: Circle-jerking narcissists parodying the way they talk about themselves.
I MetaTalk 9622: One-liner which hopefully will be later quoted as a tagline. (meta)
J MetaTalk 9622: Is this something I'd need a computer to understand?
K MetaTalk 9622: mono, like all good Brit invasion fans.
L MetaTalk 9622: what, no espresso?
M MetaTalk 9622: it is evident that comment generation is somewhat less than the method MetaTalk clusterfuck used in isolation.
N MetaTalk 9622: Half-assed attempt at covering up Noob Guilt ©
O MetaTalk 9622: MEN. WITHOUT. PANTS.
P MetaTalk 9622: we are all figments of those with an actual imagination. (meta) (metameta)
Q MetaTalk 9622: Here is where a God that isn't a piece of shit would have placed a "happily ever after."
R MetaTalk 9622: Giggles out loud at self-perceived accomplishment in the field of irony, then realises there's no one around.
S MetaTalk 9622: That's not MY longboat.
T MetaTalk 9622: Guaranteed 100% content-free.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:40 PM on June 12, 2005

Demands that all depictions of her in "Son of 9622 : The Movie" be wearing a Viking helmet.

Requests to be played by Scarlett Johansson.

Votes for "S" - I like things that I said.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:44 PM on June 12, 2005

Get off my ass you wee bitty fuck
If I pull out the claymore you’re shit outta luck
Who’s that girl, that pretty young thing
After I fuck her she’ll get up and sing

Aye aye aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye aye aye -- the blarney stone brings a tear to me eye

Down to the pub for a two shilling ale
The bread on the counter is going stale
If I don’t get some fresh bread soon
Gonna punch you in your face and bark at the moon

Aye aye aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye aye aye -- the blarney stone brings a tear to me eye

Ain’t got no girl ’cuz I haven’t the time
Got too many other things on me mind
Patty was nice she was pale and cute
But I threw her away like an old piece of fruit

Aye aye aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye aye aye -- the blarney stone brings a tear to me eye

Got ooze in my pores my feet are all wet
Got mold in my ears but I ain’t dead yet
Got stones in me bladder got a crack in me head
When patty starts cryin’ this is what I said

Aye aye aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye aye aye -- the blarney stone brings a tear to me eye
posted by schyler523 at 5:50 PM on June 12, 2005

Well, it was the line now known as "A" that first prompted me to start the Tagline ball rolling, but "T" is so good too, I'll just vote for T & A...

prepares for severe slapping by every MeFiFemme with fish formerly kept in quonsarpants
posted by wendell at 5:59 PM on June 12, 2005

Observes that potatoes are funny, but not as funny as monkeys.
Although, it is a lot easier to dress them up with engineer's caps and cigars!
posted by yhbc at 6:04 PM on June 12, 2005

nobody understands MY potato!

muses about the quote about not pleasing everybody all the time...
posted by schyler523 at 6:44 PM on June 12, 2005

Potatoes also have more eyes than monkeys. Especially if you gouge out the monkey's eyes with a melonballer.
posted by ColdChef at 6:46 PM on June 12, 2005

That's because potatoes don't have any monkeys, ColdChef.
posted by kenko at 6:48 PM on June 12, 2005

*slaps wendell with nearest fish. notes that sardines are not very effective weapons.*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:56 PM on June 12, 2005

Points out that * action asterisks * aren't really necessary in a thread in which the third person is already established as the default mode.

Or maybe not.

* whacks grapefruitmoon upside the head with a trout he had saved for just such an occasion *
posted by yhbc at 7:24 PM on June 12, 2005

Points out that trout are delicious and should not be used for such purposes.
posted by kenko at 7:32 PM on June 12, 2005

Porpoises?
posted by yhbc at 7:36 PM on June 12, 2005

Hey people, did anyone see an eagle skin wallet laying around here?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:05 PM on June 12, 2005

dolphin lundgren is in some great speedo movies this summer...namely, Mang with a Porpoise, and Flipper: the Turning...
posted by schyler523 at 8:23 PM on June 12, 2005

IIHAA: Did it have a $100 bill in it, serial number CF 12930871 B?
posted by yhbc at 8:33 PM on June 12, 2005

Holy shit...The Beatles nail it yet again...I give up now...fuck this...

~Your day breaks, your mind aches
You find that all the words of kindness linger on
When she no longer needs you

She wakes up, she makes up
She takes her time and doesn’t feel she has to hurry
She no longer needs you

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!

You want her, you need her
And yet you don’t believe her when she said her love is dead
You think she needs you

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!

You stay home, she goes out
She says that long ago she knew someone but now he’s gone
She doesn’t need him

Your day breaks, your mind aches
There will be time when all the things she said will fil your head
You won’t forget her

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!
posted by schyler523 at 9:57 PM on June 12, 2005

Did you guys know Tom Cruise is dating Katie Holmes, apparently they're in love.
posted by drezdn at 10:01 PM on June 12, 2005

Votes for "S MetaTalk 9622: That's not MY longboat" as only tag that can be understood by the casual reader.
And here is some goodnewsfortheinsane: you can click on a user name and see his profile. Surprised? Find out all you need to know abut qwerty155.
Who are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? Have they been in the gossip columns?
posted by Cranberry at 10:39 PM on June 12, 2005

Points out in semi-Luddite fashion that the knowledge of Tom Cruise and Katy Holmes dating may well be something that would require a TV to know.

Subtly lays on hints that he doesn't own a TV which makes him (on calculation) approximately 1.38% cooler than thou.

Sits back on spinny chair and grins to himself in self satisfaction, like a cat that got the cream with special cat-opium in it.
posted by longbaugh at 2:37 AM on June 13, 2005

Nurses trout shaped bruise without the aid of action asterisks.

Tries to find a way to explain this to friends.
"Are you having troubles at home? That's such an odd shape. Is it a... fish?"
"I can't really talk about it."
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:25 AM on June 13, 2005

U MetaTalk 9622: Where the third person is the default mode

Notes, without use of asterisks that after many years of lurking and the odd hit-and-run post here and there, 9622v2 contains more references to ole qwerty by other members than the rest of metafilter put together.

Due to this qwerty forgets new standard regarding action asterisks and *does little dance*
posted by qwerty155 at 3:36 AM on June 13, 2005

*acknowledges acknowledment*

Also acknowledges peptalk and attempts to explain that he is sufficiently ungreedy to succeed in the UK, let alone the USA

I don't think my office cow-orkers appreciated the little dance either. I think I may need to get down off the desk and at least pretend to do some work.

From their looks I think their main objection is that the nipple tassles clashed with the thong.
posted by qwerty155 at 3:49 AM on June 13, 2005

Yeah, that's the one, yhbc. Did you see the note on the back in purple lipstick? That's for you. You can keep the Ben Franklin, I just need that old condom back.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:25 AM on June 13, 2005

Looks around like a new member and wonders if it is okay to post exactly the same joke again, since no-one "LOL"d at it the first time, figures that $5 is too high a margin for the price of eternal humiliation and bites his tongue.

Wishes it was like on other community forums where even really shitty jokes are acknowledged, even if it is with just "STFU n00b" and several hundred lines of shite and animated GIFs.
posted by longbaugh at 6:25 AM on June 13, 2005

STFU, oldie.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:33 AM on June 13, 2005

You know, I thought that was awfully funny-tasting gum.
posted by yhbc at 6:54 AM on June 13, 2005

DISCLAIMER:
Information within this thread contains "F0RWARD looking statements"
within the meaning of Section 27A of the Securities Sex Act of 1933 and
Section 21B of the Securities Exchange Sex Act of 1934. Any statements that
express or involve discussions with respect to predictions,
expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, objectives, goals,
assumptions or future
events or performance are not statements of historical fact and may be
"FORWARD looking statements."F0RWARD looking statements are based on
expectations, estimates and projections at the time the statements are
made that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause
actual results or events to differ materially from those presently
anticipated. FORWARD looking statements in this Sex Action may be
identified
through the use of words such as "projects", "foreskin", "expects",
"will," "anticipates," "estimates," "believes," "understands" or
that by
statements indicating certain Sex Actions "may," "could," or "might" occur.
As with many micro-cap ST0CKS, today's company has additional risk
factors worth noting. Those factors include: a limited operating
history,
the company advancing cash to related parties and a shareholder on an
unsecured basis: one vendor, a related party through a majority
stockholder, supplies ninety-seven percent of the company's raw
materials:
reliance on two johns for over fifty percent of their business and
numerous related party transactions and the need to raise capital.
These
factors and others are more fully spelled out in the company's SEC
filings. We urge you to read the filings before you invest. The 9622v2
STOCK
Report does not represent that the information contained in this
message states all material facts or does not omit a material fact
necessary
to make the statements therein not misleading. All information
provided within this thread pertaining to investing, ST0CKS, securities
must be
understood as information provided and not investment advice. The
9622v2 ST0CK Report advises all readers and subscribers to seek advice
from
a registered professional securities prostitute before deciding to
trade in STOCKS featured within this thread. None of the material within
this report shall be construed as any kind of investment advice or
solicitation. Many of these companies are on the verge of bankruptcy.
You
can lose all your MONEY by investing in this ST0CK. The publisher of
The 9622v2 ST0CK Report is not a registered investment ADVISOR.
Subscribers should not view information herein as legal, tax,
accounting or
investment advice. Any reference to past performance(s) of companies
are
specially selected to be referenced based on the favorable performance
of
these companies. You would need perfect timing to achieve the results
in the examples given. There can be no assurance of that happening.
Remember, as always, past performance is never indicative of future
results and a thorough due diligence effort, including a review of a
company's filings, should be completed prior to investing. In
compliance
with the Securities Sex Act of 1933, Section 17(b), The 9622v2 STOCK Report
discloses the receipt of twelve thousand D0LLARS from a third party
(GEMDOLLS,Inc.), not an officer, director or affiliate shareholder for
the
circulation of this report. GEMDOLLS, Inc. has a position in the ST0CK
they
will sell at any time without notice. Be aware of an inherent conflict
of interest resulting from such compensation due to the fact that this
is a paid advertisement and we are conflicted. All factual information
in this report was gathered from public sources, including but not
limited to Company Websites, SEC Filings and Company Press Releases.
The
9622v2 ST0CK Report believes this information to be reliable but can
make
no guarantee as to its accuracy or completeness. Use of the material
within this thread constitutes your acceptance of these terms.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:00 AM on June 13, 2005

Dude, no f'in way! Did you swallow it or spit it out? Where? I need that thing back.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:09 AM on June 13, 2005

V MetaTalk 9622: the nipple tassles clashed with the thong
posted by gen at 7:34 AM on June 13, 2005

I don't think my office cow-orkers appreciated the little dance either.

*You* work at a *cow orkery*? Stop the cruelty!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:37 AM on June 13, 2005

*backspaces action asterisks*
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:38 AM on June 13, 2005

....aaaaaaaand, scene!
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:50 AM on June 13, 2005

This isn't one of those "rainbow parties" is it? Because I don't think my parents would approve if it is.
posted by drezdn at 8:11 AM on June 13, 2005

*settles into the corner for a badly needed nap*
posted by raedyn at 8:15 AM on June 13, 2005

I don't like Windows.
posted by kenko at 8:29 AM on June 13, 2005

Hey, goodnewsfortheinsane, what's wrong with a bit of orkery. Those cows love it. They might pretend they don't. But they do.

Newsflash: just to cheer you all up: Firefox fans too frumpy for Beautifulpeople.net
posted by qwerty155 at 8:35 AM on June 13, 2005

Votes for "S MetaTalk 9622: That's not MY longboat" because grapefruitmoon is just so darn irresistible.
posted by languagehat at 8:36 AM on June 13, 2005

mumbling something about tired... catching up.. glad to see valiant effort.. worn out just reading... *unintelligible*

zzzZZZzzz...
posted by raedyn at 8:39 AM on June 13, 2005

Obligatory plea to go easy on me as this is my first comment ever.
posted by dial-tone at 8:55 AM on June 13, 2005

Obligatory plea to go easy on me as I just paid $5 to be part of TEH. BESTEST. THRED. EVAR.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:05 AM on June 13, 2005

Oh dear. Did I just riff on a newbie? What has become of me?

Welcome dial-tone!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:06 AM on June 13, 2005

Cool, so now we have a prize for the author of the tagline voted most likely to suceed => can claim dial-tone's cherry.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:07 AM on June 13, 2005

Not that I will not also claim it when convenient, like when speaking to MILF's in the grocery checkout.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:09 AM on June 13, 2005

Speaking of the vote: I gotta go "H Circle-jerking narcissists parodying the way they talk about themselves." But I think my district uses Diebold machines so I'm sure it'll be tallied as "MY longboat." That tally is so whack.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:16 AM on June 13, 2005

Wow. You read all of that to make THIS your first comment? At least it's historic. Welcome, dial-tone to "Son of 9622 : That's not MY longboat."

(also is flattered by being found irresistable by such a respected member of the community as languagehat.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:21 AM on June 13, 2005

There's definitely a Diebold machine/longboat connection, but I can't reveal the specifics... not here anyway. Too many people looking. Meet me behind the warehouse at midnight and then we'll talk.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:24 AM on June 13, 2005

Would meet grapefruitmoon behind midnight warehouses any day of the week.
posted by kenko at 9:37 AM on June 13, 2005

Be gentle.
posted by dial-tone at 9:52 AM on June 13, 2005

kenko : How about Thursday? Is Thursday good for you?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:08 AM on June 13, 2005

Some have cameras.
posted by Tarrama at 10:19 AM on June 13, 2005

The Tao of Lazloism: "it aint no grilled cheese sandwich".

The End.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:03 AM on June 13, 2005

Some have cameras. Some achieve cameras. And some have cameras thrust upon them.

Grapefruit, Thursday's great. I'll be wearing a brown felt bowler.
posted by kenko at 11:59 AM on June 13, 2005

w00t, deep throat behind the warehouse! Diebold going down from a sizzling exposé! My Woodward in full effect! Etc!

I know she's just campaigning for her tagline, but what do I care? She's seen Björk naked.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:24 PM on June 13, 2005

Expresses disappointment that his bait for a tallywacker joke remains unbitten three hours later. Wiggles the line a little.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:30 PM on June 13, 2005

I vote for longboats, but that's partially because grapefruitmoon rhymes with swoon if you know what I mean.
posted by dial-tone at 12:48 PM on June 13, 2005

*sigh*
*takes own bait (as usual).*

So a priest, a merchant and a tallywhacker were attending Jesus H. God's Brit Milah.

The priest says "Bring the poor child some soma, for heaven's sake."

The merchant says "No, bring that boy some ExxonMobil Supreme!"

The tallywhacker thinks for a moment, then exclaims "I'd like to open a discussion on the seemingly growing trend of new users choosing a phrase as a username. My opinion of these username choices is _____. My suggestion to Matt is _____."

*Removes hook from cheeks.*
*Hope it at least cured his potty mouth.*
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:51 PM on June 13, 2005

Isn't that the second time Kevin has declared the end of this thread?
posted by gramschmidt at 1:44 PM on June 13, 2005

IT
posted by gramschmidt at 1:46 PM on June 13, 2005

WILL
posted by gramschmidt at 1:46 PM on June 13, 2005

NEVER
posted by gramschmidt at 1:47 PM on June 13, 2005

DIE
posted by gramschmidt at 1:47 PM on June 13, 2005

!!!!11!1!Ione!!1!eins!!1!
posted by gramschmidt at 1:48 PM on June 13, 2005

NEVER => NEVAR
posted by gramschmidt at 1:49 PM on June 13, 2005

Anyway, I saw some excellent movies this weekend, hidden gems that not that many people know about, and I'd like to talk about them and recommend them to the 9622v2 constituency:

1) Citizen Kane: Shamefully overlooked action/adventure movie about a scientist who comes up with a way to extract live dinosaur DNA from ancient mosquitoes encased in amber and then uses this DNA to clone dinosaurs and create a live dinosaur theme park. Awesome commentary about the hubris of technology and the prescience of Kafka's The Castle in a pre-Lacanian / post-Derridan (he)gemony / (her)gemony.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:52 PM on June 13, 2005

I am shocked SHOCKED that elders such as IIHAA and GNFTI are roasting a baby! Dial-tone's profile says "infantry". That is obviously the child care center right next to qwerty155's cow-orkery. Some restraint, please.
posted by Cranberry at 1:54 PM on June 13, 2005

2) The Wizard of Oz: I cannot believe more people don't know this film! It's classic! It's in color! Charlton Heston stars as a Mexican! So cute, especially when Donna Reed is in the bushes with no clothes and Jimmy Stewart is teasing her about whether he should give them back, and then realizes that the Brad Pitt character is a fictional version of the Ed Norton one, and a fnord stalks the highlands, cream cheese a beggle, me **R&F&7e! Delightful!
posted by gramschmidt at 2:08 PM on June 13, 2005

Has anyone paid $5.00 for Frumpy Firefox Fan as a nick?
posted by Cranberry at 2:08 PM on June 13, 2005

3) Pulp Fiction: Totally gritty and great. Excellent dialogue. Samuel L. Jackson stars as high-powered stock broker Gordon Gekko and Uma Thurman is John Travolta, a traveling insurance salesman hooker with a heart of lawrencium. A much better film than a ruined firewire cable.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:13 PM on June 13, 2005

That's gotta be a new record for MeTa comments.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:31 PM on June 13, 2005

*sniff*

ROFL copter. I've missed you so. Welcome.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:38 PM on June 13, 2005

4) The Seven Samurai: OPEC is already pumping well above formal quotas, so any increase to the official quotas will merely legitimize current overproduction. "The market accepts that OPEC is producing almost at capacity and there is very little it can actually do to bring down prices," Rob Laughlin at Man Financial in London said.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:39 PM on June 13, 2005

I just realised that Matt put our two neighbouring threads to bed ages ago. I'm just wondering if that means we need to keep the noise down before someone comes to complain that they can't get to sleep.
posted by qwerty155 at 2:52 PM on June 13, 2005

That's gotta be a new record for MeTa comments

I don't know about that; but since you expressed an interest, here's the current tally for this thread:

171 gramschmidt
84 wendell
67 jonmc
55 kenko
54 loquacious
47 If I Had An Anus
47 goodnewsfortheinsane
46 Frisbee Girl
45 grapefruitmoon
34 schyler523
28 qwerty155
24 casu marzu
21 scody
20 nobody
19 raedyn
15 WolfDaddy
14 yhbc
14 longbaugh
14 drezdn
13 deborah
12 Smart Dalek
11 KevinSkomsvold
11 jokeefe
10 languagehat
10 geekyguy
10 Cranberry
10 blag
9 bigbigdog
8 ColdChef
8 arse_hat
7 papercake
7 handee
7 Divine_Wino
7 birdsquared
6 shmegegge
6 Kirth Gerson
6 Fezboy!
6 ericb
6 dios
5 Kwantsar
5 jenovus
4 y2karl
4 tj
4 thedevildancedlightly
4 Secret Life of Gravy
4 Ryvar
4 quonsar
4 naomi
4 john
4 iconomy
4 exlotuseater
4 dg
4 Armitage Shanks
4 anapestic
3 underer
3 ubersturm
3 thomcatspike
3 Tarrama
3 orthogonality
3 mediareport
3 me3dia
3 jonson
3 I EAT TAPES
3 dial-tone
3 C17H19NO3
2 thatweirdguy2
2 sophieblue
2 sciurus
2 rev_crash_davis
2 PhatLobley
2 orange swan
2 mischief
2 Mayor Curley
2 Lynsey
2 LionIndex
2 hototogisu
2 gen
2 Galvatron
2 eyeballkid
2 elwoodwiles
2 dirtynumbangelboy
2 brownpau
2 amberglow
2 adamvasco
1 weston
1 weretable and the undead chairs
1 warbaby
1 tr33hggr
1 tizzie
1 taz
1 stet
1 stavrosthewonderchicken
1 Staggering Jack
1 squirrel
1 Specklet
1 soyjoy
1 sgt.serenity
1 romakimmy
1 robocop is bleeding
1 Quadroonian
1 purplemonkie
1 puke & cry
1 puddinghead
1 PapaLobo
1 OmieWise
1 neckro23
1 mygothlaundry
1 mrmorgan
1 mr.marx
1 mr_crash_davis
1 mrbula
1 moift
1 mexican
1 melissa may
1 matildaben
1 mathowie
1 lilboo
1 LarryC
1 keswick
1 Kattullus
1 jessamyn
1 jazon
1 jasper411
1 item
1 i_cola
1 grouse
1 greasy_skillet
1 graventy
1 grateful
1 gd779
1 furiousthought
1 five fresh fish
1 Feisty
1 feelinglistless
1 Ethereal Bligh
1 dhruva
1 dersins
1 darukaru
1 danOstuporStar
1 Colloquial Collision
1 cmonkey
1 ChrisTN
1 caution live frogs
1 caddis
1 Bdave
1 anastasiav
1 AlexReynolds
1 [!]

(That's 148 users who have commented, if you're wondering).

The logscale plot of this is pretty linear -- it's a classic Zipf distribution. I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case for most threads. And someone has to be at the top.

In any case, gramschmidt is winning!
posted by casu marzu at 2:54 PM on June 13, 2005

Thanks for that Casu.

That means I've got to post another 143 times to be #1
posted by qwerty155 at 3:04 PM on June 13, 2005

Sorry I meant another 142 times
posted by qwerty155 at 3:05 PM on June 13, 2005

Sorry I meant another 141 times
posted by qwerty155 at 3:07 PM on June 13, 2005

Sorry I meant....

Nope, can't do that anymore. It's not big or clever and certainly was never funny.
posted by qwerty155 at 3:09 PM on June 13, 2005

qwerty, I think those others were closed because they were resolved and/or irrelevant. Which means we have 23 more days.

Remember: Mental masturbation yields a highly intellectual orgasm.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:11 PM on June 13, 2005

In honor of Father's Day, we all agree to stop posting before we top 1729 comments, right? Right? I mean, it'd be nice to get close, but not over.

And, no, I don't mean 1729 each, gram. ;)
posted by If I Had An Anus at 3:18 PM on June 13, 2005

I always thought that those people doing Suduko puzzles on the train in public looked a bit suspicious. Freaking exhibitionists.
It's disgusting. Perverts.
posted by qwerty155 at 3:22 PM on June 13, 2005

OFFICIAL CLARIFICATION:

For the puposes of the 9622v2 Longboat Thread, hereafter to be referred to as THIS MESS, direct comments are prohibited and all posters are required to describe their comments in the third person. Entries are allowed to begin with a verb, except for every fifth entry by the same participant, who, in those cases, must start with "Poster [description of username or reference to prior comment within THIS MESS]..."

Exceptions are allowed for
(a) posting images without commentary
(b) statements of eight or less words broken up into one word per comment entry (statements over 8 words may not be made using this method)
(c) song lyrics without commentary (including song lyrics altered to be about THIS MESS or any of its participants)
(d) items that are part of some ill-defined list, such as gramschmidt's non-sequitur movie reviews
(e) descriptions of actions other than posting comments, as normally enclosed by asterisks (i.e.: *foons*), but for the purpose of THIS MESS, double asterisks must be used (i.e.: **foons**)
(f) additions to the list of votable-upon taglines for the thread (these entries must be preceded by a BOLD capital letter, or, after Z has been used, double (ie: AA), then triple capital letter (i.e.: AAA)
(g) comments referring directly to the administration of THIS MESS, such as this entry, and any statement beginning in "We'll never make..."

Also, each participant is limited to EIGHT consecutive non-sequitur comments before a more direct comment is required to prove that he/she is not having a psychotic breakdown.

And, to conserve bandwidth and move more rapidly toward our ultimate goal of 10,000 comments, participants are not allowed to post more than two consecutive images, and entries with more than two paragraph breaks, 100 words or 750 characters must be split into two or more entries. (Exception made for administrative posts like this one, so don't get snarky with me)

This is declared by the order of MetaFilter Member #206, who declares himself to be as good as both #2 and #6, although the internal conflicts between Patrick McGoohan and Leo McKern can be difficult at times.
posted by wendell at 3:33 PM on June 13, 2005

Poster admits he wrote the above while consciously ignoring the Jackson Verdict.
posted by wendell at 3:39 PM on June 13, 2005

Loud declaration of "In your face DEBORAH!"
posted by drezdn at 4:15 PM on June 13, 2005

Immediately follow up to say stuff it to Longbaugh, and point out that the poster is on Wolfdaddy's ass, so he better watch out.
posted by drezdn at 4:17 PM on June 13, 2005

171?!? Jeez, gramschmidt, don't you have a job you should be hating right now? Or a life, or some cats, or a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, or a donkey, or a monkey, or an equation, or a cup of coffee to tend to? Or some really good, totally unappreciated movies to be viewing? And you have totally neglected the FPP about MJ. What gives? Jeez.
posted by Nice Donkey at 4:20 PM on June 13, 2005

We'll never make I believe I've found a loophole, wendell.
posted by kenko at 4:35 PM on June 13, 2005

There's a FPP about Marijuana? Awesome! Thanks Nice Donkey at 4:20 PM PST on June 13.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:20 PM on June 13, 2005

That was part of my ill-defined list of stupid comments.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:22 PM on June 13, 2005

Can't be bothered to read adminstrative posts. Too busy planning secret warehouse activities and polishing longboat.

Further notes that THIS MESS is taking an awfully long time to load on her small orange computer. Vows not to abandon ship in the face of mounting technological pressure.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:36 PM on June 13, 2005

Notes that, due to own stupidity and clumsiness, must now re-sharpen the knife he sharpened not one week ago.

States that he finds sharpening knives nerve-wracking for fear he will damage the edge.
posted by kenko at 6:01 PM on June 13, 2005

Returns from knife-sharpening and observes that there's little like the sight of ground wet steel against the shine of a new blade.

"A few poetic regrets, if adroitly placed, are as becoming to a woman as gossamer hair in the moonlight"
—Celine
posted by kenko at 6:20 PM on June 13, 2005

TODD:
These are my friends,
See how they glisten.
See this one shine,
How he smiles in the light,
My friends,
My faithful friends...

Speak to me, friend.
Whisper, I'll listen.
I know, I know
You've been locked out of sight
All these years!
Like me, my friend!
Well, I've come home
To find you waiting!
Home,
And we're together...
And we'll do wonders...
Won't we...?

[Simultaneously, for rest of song]
TODD:
You there, my friend,
Come, let me hold you.
Now, with a sigh,
You grow warm
In my hand...
My friend,
My clever friend...
LOVETT:
I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd.
If you only knew, Mr. Todd.
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
You're warm
In my hand...
You've come home...
Always had a fondness for you,
I did.

TODD:
Rest now, my friends.
Soon I'll unfold you.
Soon you'll know splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days,
My lucky friends.
Till now your shine
Was merely silver.
Friends,
You shall drip rubies,
You'll soon drip precious
Rubies...
LOVETT:
Never you fear, Mr. Todd.
You can move in here
Mr. Todd. Splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days
Will be yours!
I'm your friend,
And you're mine!
Don't they shine beautiful?
Silver's good enough for me,
Mr. T...
posted by kenko at 6:21 PM on June 13, 2005

Not to thank dogwood nor
the wind that sifts
petals are these words,
nor for a record,

but, as notes sung and received
still the air,
these are controlled by
yesterday evening,

a peal after
the bells have rested.
—Basil Bunting (thx to my sworn enemy languagehat)

---

It was not the words, nor the melody,
Not the beat, nor the pace;
It was that slow suspension of our breathing
As we watched your face,
And the grace-notes, unrecordable on the clef,
Sung only by a spirit in grace.
—Robert Graves, "Grace Notes"
posted by kenko at 6:26 PM on June 13, 2005

To be original was to admit that you could not do a thing the right way, so you could only do it your own way.
—The Recognitions, p 89.
posted by kenko at 6:53 PM on June 13, 2005

Peach bitters and tonic water makes fora refreshing drink.
posted by kenko at 7:04 PM on June 13, 2005

Oops! I meant to say "Peach bitters and tonic water make fora refreshing drinks." Try it some time! Bring peach bitters and tonic water into your favorite forum and see if the contents don't liquefy.
posted by kenko at 7:06 PM on June 13, 2005

Soon I will have overtaken jonmc!
posted by kenko at 7:07 PM on June 13, 2005

Registers 9622v2.org.
posted by drezdn at 7:19 PM on June 13, 2005

Now I've heard there was a secret post
That Yhbc posted, and it pleased the new pepsi blue overLord s
But you don't really care for pancakes, do you?
It goes like this
The longboat, the ewok
The minor kenko, the major wendall
The baffled matt deleting 9622 yeah
9622 yeah, 9622 yeah
9622 yeah, 9622 yeah
9622 yeah, 96222 yeah
9622 yeah, 9622 yeah
9622 yeah, 96222 yeah

Your server was slow but you needed proof
You saw Bjork bathing on the roof
Her beauty and Jim Jones overthrew her
She tied you
To jonmc
She broke your camera, and she cut the selflink
And from your profile she drew the 9622 yeah

9622 yeah, 9622 yeah
9622 yeah, 9622 yeah
9622 yeah, 96222 yeah

9622 yeah, 9622 yeah
9622 yeah, 9622 yeah
9622 yeah, 96222 yeah
posted by drezdn at 7:32 PM on June 13, 2005

Gruff characterization of drezdn as a "magnificent bastard".

(For the URL. Song judgment pending.)
posted by gramschmidt at 7:35 PM on June 13, 2005

Aloof description of kenko as a "beneficent custard".
posted by gramschmidt at 7:37 PM on June 13, 2005

Apropos sketching of grapefruitmoon as a "maleficent mast curd".
posted by gramschmidt at 7:40 PM on June 13, 2005

And I'm breaking protocol to call wendell a stand-up chap.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:41 PM on June 13, 2005

Mournful pining that I've run low on time with which to describe everyone with first-level GRE words.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:47 PM on June 13, 2005

Curt, temporary sign-off with currently prized Of Montreal lyrics:

What’s up directors? Grab your knives!
It’s time to take all all of the lives
Of the people who cannot see the somnolent genius of Tarkovsky

Come on authors grab your guns!
It’s time to murder everyone who has never heard of Apollinaire
Send them all to hell it's only fair

Cast them all into the flames if they don’t know any names
Of the principles of Arte Povera
Or are unfamiliar with le serpent mascara
That's right mascara snake!!!

Come on painters alive or dead
Give all the cretins a boot to the head
If they don't extoll convincingly
Tempered Elan era Kandinsky

Throw them all into a well if they cannot tell
An Arto Parv feast of repetition from a Schoenberg 12 tone composition

Come on artists the day is here
And your mission is very clear
Put an end to the bourgeoisie
And death to everyone who's never heard of me
posted by gramschmidt at 7:54 PM on June 13, 2005

Tells gramschmidt that he is wearing a set of stand-up chaps.
posted by wendell at 9:13 PM on June 13, 2005

And GeezFuggHowie am I chapped!
posted by wendell at 9:14 PM on June 13, 2005

And death to everyone who's never heard of me
Suggests a fate worse than death - they should all be forced to meet you.
posted by wendell at 9:16 PM on June 13, 2005

ring-a-ding-ding
posted by geekyguy at 9:25 PM on June 13, 2005

Is that the doorbell?
posted by wendell at 9:30 PM on June 13, 2005

I was thinking more like Sammy . . .
posted by geekyguy at 9:53 PM on June 13, 2005

Hagar?
posted by wendell at 10:04 PM on June 13, 2005

W MetaTalk 9622 *You* work at a *cow orkery*?

Expresses indignation at being confined by wendell's "rulez". Admits to being brought to tears, in public no less, after innocently stumbling upon "cow orkery" line. Acknowledges that the main reason it was funny is that poster had just read through about 800 of the 9622 comments in an effort to catch up.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:30 PM on June 13, 2005

Davis, Jr.
posted by geekyguy at 10:41 PM on June 13, 2005

rejects wendell's rules
posted by Cranberry at 11:55 PM on June 13, 2005

giggles at wendell wasting all that time
posted by Cranberry at 11:55 PM on June 13, 2005

encourages Mefites to ignore
posted by Cranberry at 11:56 PM on June 13, 2005

any attempts
posted by Cranberry at 11:56 PM on June 13, 2005

at organization
posted by Cranberry at 11:57 PM on June 13, 2005

legislation
posted by Cranberry at 11:58 PM on June 13, 2005

rationalization
posted by Cranberry at 11:58 PM on June 13, 2005

cannibalization
posted by Cranberry at 11:59 PM on June 13, 2005

however
posted by Cranberry at 12:00 AM on June 14, 2005

fraternalization
posted by Cranberry at 12:02 AM on June 14, 2005

should be a
posted by Cranberry at 12:02 AM on June 14, 2005

matter of
posted by Cranberry at 12:03 AM on June 14, 2005

personal decision
posted by Cranberry at 12:04 AM on June 14, 2005

counts comments
posted by Cranberry at 12:05 AM on June 14, 2005

sees more than 8
posted by Cranberry at 12:05 AM on June 14, 2005

pins on "Freedom from Oppression" medal
posted by Cranberry at 12:06 AM on June 14, 2005

ignores other wendell dictates
posted by Cranberry at 12:07 AM on June 14, 2005

resists childish urge to say nyah nyah nyah or even ni
posted by Cranberry at 12:08 AM on June 14, 2005

Hey Nice Donkey, I'd be careful round these parts if I were you.

Poster realises that he has broken the new 9622v2 rules already
posted by qwerty155 at 3:24 AM on June 14, 2005

Registers 9622v2.org.

Poster is tempted to register 9622v2.net in an attempt to start unjustified 9622v2 website rivalry.
posted by qwerty155 at 3:30 AM on June 14, 2005

Poster can't decide if registering the domain name shows great forsight or even greater level of sad geekery
posted by qwerty155 at 3:42 AM on June 14, 2005

There are inherent limitations to human knowledge. For instance, if I were to walk into the women's locker room to get a good, solid look at their exciting undergarments, I would be roundly castigated. And rightly so. I don't need to be looking at the frilly cloth covering their nether regions.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:55 AM on June 14, 2005

Expresses indignation at being confined by wendell's "rulez".

Fight the power, donkey. Fight the power.

Right the mower, too. Although you may find suburbia and all of its ethical trappings abhorant, if you ever find yourself upon one of those big fucking riding mowers, mowing some water-hogging status symbol lawns, and it starts to tip upon a fake hill, one crafted by the landscapers, right it. Right it.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:59 AM on June 14, 2005

*sniff*

Hey man. *sniff* I just realized...we can...we can all just, you know, get along. Black people, white people, Chinese laundry owners, that guy from Papua New Guinea down the hall...we're all, like, the same, underneath our underwear, except he has a monstrous wart on his shoulder, but we can still all car pool to the Fassbinder retrospective, man!

Just be cool, and spot me gas money. Yes, I'll buy your fucking americano.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:06 AM on June 14, 2005

Horrified recognition of totally on-purpose, planted spelling error in a prior post. Confident resignation that error is part of a Master Plan to appear human in Big Crazy Thread, in lieu of giving away identity as Turing machine.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:08 AM on June 14, 2005

9622v2.xxx?????????????????????????????

Longboat pr0n.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:09 AM on June 14, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 4:11 AM on June 14, 2005

STOP POSTING IMAGES, MAN! THEY BRING RE-LOADS TO A CRAWL, and everybody's already set their browsers to not load images anyway, so you're just wanking.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:14 AM on June 14, 2005

Wise observation consisting of the following:

Qué onda, guero?
posted by gramschmidt at 4:18 AM on June 14, 2005

"That's more of a query than an observation, my friend."

"Sure. Do you have any gum?"
posted by gramschmidt at 4:20 AM on June 14, 2005

See's own name whenever longboat is written. Gets alternatively scared/aroused. Finds this troubling. Moves to Scandinavia where can cover this up by feigning Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Wishes that more scandinavian ladies would get aboard "longbaugh's longboat". Get's lil' longbaugh pierced so it looks like it is wearing a Viking helmet.

Thinks maybe he's gone too far this time...
posted by longbaugh at 5:13 AM on June 14, 2005

Goes to look up "malef...something something mast curd" in dictionary. Forgot what it was already.

Decides it means "AWESOME" and moves on.

Apologies to longbaugh for all this longboat nonsense. Wishes him luck with the ladiez.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:29 AM on June 14, 2005

That's right mascara snake!!!

Fast and bulbous!

Never apologize, never explain, grapefruitmoon.
posted by languagehat at 6:18 AM on June 14, 2005

Oh my God I just administered alcohol to a miner.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:24 AM on June 14, 2005

Good advice, languagehat.

Would like to note that while I can offer apologies, I couldn't possibly explain THIS MESS. Explanations are much harder to come by these days.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:36 AM on June 14, 2005

What?!!? One of these?? Why??!?!


posted by qwerty155 at 6:56 AM on June 14, 2005

Registers 9622v2.org. - drezdn

LIAR!
posted by raedyn at 7:30 AM on June 14, 2005

Poster is tempted to register 9622v2.net in an attempt to start unjustified 9622v2 website rivalry.- qwerty155

*is amused at the prospect*

*hopes for much hilarty*

*expects the more likely outcome that there isn't enough of us still following THIS MESS to sustain two sites and a rivalry between them*

*hopes scody is on my team*
posted by raedyn at 7:32 AM on June 14, 2005

Pedantically tells raedyn that it should be "aren't enough of us", and longbaugh that it should be "sees". Digs trench and waits for languagehat to tear him a new one. Sits in trench for a few days before realizing that he is a worthless target compared to the likes of William Safire.
posted by kenko at 8:37 AM on June 14, 2005

THIS HAS BEEN OUR CLOSING NOTICE

We have sought to speak to you on many periods and the time to return your reponse is now!

Your present home loan certifies you for up to a 3.60% lower rate.

However, since our previous attempts to speak to you have failed,
this will be our last effort to gain for you the lower rate.

Please conclude this final step upon receiving this notice immediately,and complete your request for information now.

Submission Here.

If your decision is not to make use of this final offer going here will help you to do so.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:37 AM on June 14, 2005

[chorus 2x]
My longboat brings all the girls to the thread,
And they're like
It's bigger than yours,
Damn right it's bigger than yours,
I can seat ten,
But I have to charge

I know you row it,
It's my fez that makes me,
What the gals go crazy for.
They lose their oars,
When my tassle soars,
Felt kitch emblem scores

[Chorus x2]
La la-la la la,
Iceland's next.
Lala-lalala,
The gals are waiting

My longboat brings all the girls to the thread,
And they're like
It's bigger than yours,
Damn right it's bigger than yours,
I can seat ten,
But I have to charge

I can see you're on it,
You want me to teach thee
Techniques that max your ergs,
It can't be bought,
Just know, short boats get caught,
Watch if your smart,

[Chorus x2]
La la-la la la,
Iceland's next.
La la-la la la,
The gals are waiting,

My longboat brings all the girls to the thread,
And they're like
It's bigger than yours,
Damn right it's bigger than yours,
I can seat ten,
But I have to charge

Oh, once you get on board,
Everyone will row this way-so,
You must not use just your arms,
Same time use hams and back,
Just get the perfect blend,
Plus what you have within,
Then next you keep the pace,
That's what will win this race,

[Chorus x2]
Lala-lalala,
Iceland's next.
Lala-lalala,
The gals are waiting,

My longboat brings all the girls to the thread,
And they're like
It's bigger than yours,
Damn right it's bigger than yours,
I can seat ten,
But I have to charge

you're right. I got nothin'
posted by Fezboy! at 9:01 AM on June 14, 2005

Humble apology for posting bastardized earwig. Confession that this song seems to run on a continuous loop in poster's head. Sincere plea for help.
posted by Fezboy! at 9:04 AM on June 14, 2005

Ooh, is it too late to have a parade? As a donkey, I would love to drive a riding mower through the suburbs, mowing inappropriate slogans into water-hogging status symbol lawns. And as a Nice donkey, I would still like to invite schyler, despite his history with mules.

*Wonders to self if it is precisely because of his history with mules that nice donkey wants to invite schyler. Feels all conflicted and trots off.*
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:19 AM on June 14, 2005

Apologizes to wendell for breaking two rulez in a row in previous post. Wonders if maybe two wrongs make a right.
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:20 AM on June 14, 2005

Deletion of long rant about the differences between donkeys and mules. Notation that this is a Nice Donkey after all. Call to organize parade in Nice Donkey's honor. Poster pledges to recruit area Shriners with tiny cars.
posted by Fezboy! at 9:27 AM on June 14, 2005

Realizes that apology to wendell was made from somewhere outside of THIS MESS, as poster had trotted off in previous-previous post. Feels a little dizzy. Decides to go off in search of sugar cubes to quell aching head.
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:30 AM on June 14, 2005

Sodomizes Nice Donkey.
posted by kenko at 9:32 AM on June 14, 2005

Issues apologies all 'round. Explains that THIS MESS has had an effect on him.
posted by kenko at 9:35 AM on June 14, 2005

Fezboy! Help, help!
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:35 AM on June 14, 2005

Expresses satisfaction with Kenko's apology. Invites kenko to the parade.
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:38 AM on June 14, 2005

Notes that donkeys and mules are different, indeed. Explains that half-brother is a mule so that any concerns about species-ism are alleviated.
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:42 AM on June 14, 2005

Hands sugar cubes to Nice Donkey.

Starts polishing Viking helmet in preparation for parade.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:08 AM on June 14, 2005

Expression of confusion over whether poster should come to Nice Donkey's aid. Clown car full of off-duty police who are Shriners summoned. Indictment of kenko's acts of sodomy filed with proper authorities. Jury selection for media circus celebrity trial begun.
posted by Fezboy! at 10:16 AM on June 14, 2005

Tries to explain in a convincing way to Nice Donkey that he has quit drinking, and therefore will be sodomizing nothing in the near future...

**assumes segue voice from Boyz II Men**
~Im sorry baby, you know I love you, It won't happen again baby doll...
Let me tell you 'bout this love thang...~
**reassumes boring schyler voice**
posted by schyler523 at 10:37 AM on June 14, 2005

Subpeona filed for schyler523's appearance as expert witness in the realm of equus sodomy despite protestations of reform.
posted by Fezboy! at 10:47 AM on June 14, 2005

media titters over latest development in the kenko trial
posted by Fezboy! at 10:49 AM on June 14, 2005

Lowers head and covers face with hands to avoid reporters' cameras and infamy brought therewith. Issues press release reiterating apology and referencing abuse by donkeys in troubled youth.
posted by kenko at 10:56 AM on June 14, 2005

Rumors abound that Nice Donkey may be bought off in a settlement involving LOTS of sugar cubes, and a ride in that little shriners car. No comment from Nice Donkey.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:57 AM on June 14, 2005

Notes that flight of rumors is causing increased media prominence for his demerara import business and an increase in stock price; reflects that donkey-sodomy may not have been a bad business move.
posted by kenko at 11:08 AM on June 14, 2005

Prosecutors present case in kenko trial. Talking heads question efficacy of Nice Donkey's testimony. Some people say Nice Donkey is a grifter who's only interested in promoting itself a lifetime supply of sugar cubes. . . and maybe a ride on a little Shriner car
posted by Fezboy! at 11:10 AM on June 14, 2005

Reads press statement with amusement that suggests that Kenko plans to change his behaviour in the future and will not be so 'kind hearted', 'make himself vulnerable' or 'sleep' with Nice Donkeys anymore.
posted by qwerty155 at 11:10 AM on June 14, 2005

Taking advantage of kenko's distraction by reporters, tears him a new one.

Hands Nice Donkey some sugar cubes, which he will realize too late were laced with acid.
posted by languagehat at 11:12 AM on June 14, 2005

media titters further
posted by Fezboy! at 11:15 AM on June 14, 2005

An aside to recommend kenko's comment for a
.
posted by Fezboy! at 11:23 AM on June 14, 2005

Notes ruefully as he steps out the courthouse a free and fully not-guilty that it's the Nice-Seeming Donkeys who always try to get you, but lord willing the worst that comes out of it is a hand-torn new one (with leather interior!).
posted by kenko at 11:25 AM on June 14, 2005

Amends above to read "a free and fully not-guilty man" where currently only "a free and fully not-guilty" appears.
posted by kenko at 11:27 AM on June 14, 2005

While on an unexpected acid trip, Nice Donkey prepares for public battle to destroy kenko's pop-star image, such as it is:

posted by Nice Donkey at 11:39 AM on June 14, 2005

Adds cranberry to enemies list at Nemester.
Makes plans.
posted by wendell at 11:56 AM on June 14, 2005

Girds self for epic battle: the shins to self with greaves, the wide back to self (sufficient for fifty fifties to play handball against) with mail, the neck to self wide as a horse's with a gorget, the shoulders and upper arms to self thick as oaks with, you know, shoulder-and-upper-arm armor.
posted by kenko at 11:58 AM on June 14, 2005

Admires Nice Donkey's psychedelic self-portrait; steals with intent to use in greasemonkey script. (Provides link for the clueless)
posted by wendell at 12:02 PM on June 14, 2005

HAY WENDELL AM I DOING THIS RITE?
posted by kenko at 12:04 PM on June 14, 2005

Steals kenko's body armor and mails to nephew in the Army.
posted by wendell at 12:06 PM on June 14, 2005

Privately admits that he never really expected anybody to follow his rules; declares victory in the number of times posters have referred to "THIS MESS".
posted by wendell at 12:10 PM on June 14, 2005

yes?

what.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 12:13 PM on June 14, 2005

Makes
posted by deborah at 12:20 PM on June 14, 2005

note
posted by deborah at 12:21 PM on June 14, 2005

to
posted by deborah at 12:21 PM on June 14, 2005

kick
posted by deborah at 12:22 PM on June 14, 2005

drezdn's
posted by deborah at 12:24 PM on June 14, 2005

ass.
posted by deborah at 12:24 PM on June 14, 2005

drezdn has his own Nice Donkey?
posted by gramschmidt at 12:28 PM on June 14, 2005

I wonder if you understand the implications of kicking a donkey, deborah.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:29 PM on June 14, 2005

The donkey, as a docile, moody, often intemperate creature, is a metaphor for the human.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:31 PM on June 14, 2005

The donkey is predisposed toward sleeping; braying; eating sugar cubes, apples, carrots, oats, etc.; kicking those who are in the vicinity of his or her back legs; recklessly allowing him or herself to be sodomized by kenko; and generally behaving in an obstinate, hedonistic manner.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:35 PM on June 14, 2005

posted by drezdn at 12:35 PM on June 14, 2005

The human is predisposed toward sleeping, and please become a member of the "Operation Band Together" movement by flying the National Christian Flag as a Wave Offering. The time is right for this dynamic concept. It will be effective when Christians for God and country boldly identify with Christ and each other by flying the U.S. National Christian Flag right under Old Glory to represent Christ as our foundation and Christian heritage.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:37 PM on June 14, 2005

The act of kicking drezdn's ass / donkey is, therefore, the act of sodomizing kenko's Kantian or Friesian doctrine, from metaphysics to political economy and booming bass sound of late-'80s Miami hip-hop.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:40 PM on June 14, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 12:42 PM on June 14, 2005

Feeds kenko's "HAY" to Nice Donkey.
posted by wendell at 12:43 PM on June 14, 2005

I'm pretty sure I can will my maxim of sodomizing any donkey I come across to be a universal law.
posted by kenko at 12:44 PM on June 14, 2005

Belated dedication to Kenko and schyler:

Molly be damned smote Jimmy the Harp
With a horrid little pistol and a lariat
She's goin to the bottom
And she's goin down the drain
Said she wasn't big enough to carry it

She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow

Choppity chop goes the axe in the woods
You gotta meet me by the fall down tree
Shovel of dirt upon a coffin lid
And I know they'll come lookin for me boys
And I know they'll come a-lookin for me

Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow

Big Jack Earl was 8'1
He stood in the road and he cried
He couldn't make her love him
Couldn't make her stay
But tell the good Lord that he tried
(Chorus)
Dusty trail from Atchison to Placerville
On the wreck of the Weaverville stage
Beaula fired on Beatty for a lemonade
I was stirring my brandy with a nail boys
Stirring my brandy with a nail
(Chorus)
Well the rampaging sons of the widow James
Jack the cutter and the pock marked kid
Had to stand naked at the bottom
Of the cross
And tell the good lord what they did
Tell the good lord what they did
(Chorus)
Punctuated birds on the power line
In a Studebaker with the Birdie Joe Joaks
I'm diggin all the way to China
With a silver spoon
While the hangman fumbles with the noose, boys
The hangman fumbles with the noose
(Chorus)
Pin your ear to the wisdom post
Pin your eye to the line
Never let the weeds get higher
Than the garden
Always keep a sapphire in your mind
Always keep a diamond in your mind
(Chorus)
posted by qwerty155 at 12:44 PM on June 14, 2005

Wonders if he has made enough Tom Waits references yet...
posted by qwerty155 at 12:45 PM on June 14, 2005

I was mad and was accepted for treatment at a hospital for the mentally sick
I was wild and introvert wandering alone in the night
I would scream and rage should someone disturb my peace
So they took me away and they put me here alone in my silent privacy
Then they gave me shock treatment
And when I awoke I was numb and remembering nothing
Probe me mould me reassemble my brain my brain
Schizoid paranoid just terms just names just names
Why can't you leave me don't drive me insane
Your minds analyse me, your eyes penetrate me
Illusions, confusions, I'm frightened, I'm helpless
Please leave me I long to be free
I long to be free
I lie alone unable to remember
No face no name no eyes my brain just an ember
Kindle me protect my barren matter
Whose seeds may propagate yet still may shatter
They have emptied my head of its dreaming
Like paper out of a waste bin
And I yearn to be yearn to be yearn to be yearn to be free

Cold is the climate dark is the atomic night
Searching and hoping guarding my mind from your sight
Your evil eyes watch me your evil hands touch me they're cold
I can stand prison but even my conscious you hold
Let me be
Set me free
Yea

Oh...

Probe me mould me reassemble my brain my brain
Schizoid paranoid just terms just names just names
Why can't you leave me don't drive me insane insane insane insane insane....

---

Clarifies that one can never make enough Tom Waits references.
posted by kenko at 12:47 PM on June 14, 2005

*gag*

Oh good H. God, if anyone ever offers you a wad of gum they found under their radiator, decline. Fuck.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:48 PM on June 14, 2005

Wonders what deborah is going on about. Scrolls and scrolls and scrolls, finds where drezdn was taunting deborah, is satisfied that an ass-kicking was indeed in order.

Wonders gramschmidt is going on about. Is he claiming that the nice sodomized donkey is actually drezdn's sock puppet? Looks up definition of sodomy to see if fisting falls under it, which would of course get kenko off completely (in the legal sense) if had not already been found "innocent," since it quite natural to stick one's digits up the backside of a hand puppet.

On preview, finally gets what gramschmidt was going on about. Decides to strike previous paragraph to save bandwidth. Feels noble.

On double-preview, sees that deborah's comments have gone so far up the screen that the first paragraph now makes little sense in context. Strikes it as well. Feels especially noble now, so hits post without preview. (Sends bill to mathowie for all the saved bandwidth.)
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:49 PM on June 14, 2005

kenko done said: I'm pretty sure I can will my maxim of sodomizing any donkey I come across to be a universal law.

Perhaps you should re-focus your anally amorous attentions upon a filipino box spring hog.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:51 PM on June 14, 2005

you know me and that mule scrambled right through the hole

Winks and asks if everyone knows what hole he's talking about.
posted by kenko at 12:58 PM on June 14, 2005

Deliberate mis-interpretation of allusion in previous comment making dubious connection to the hole they pulled Saddam out of in an effort to introduce the military action in Iraq—a sure-fire comment generator—in an attempt to push 9622v2 over the top.
posted by Fezboy! at 1:09 PM on June 14, 2005

****Flags previous post as derail.
****Hauls self into Metatalk.
posted by Fezboy! at 1:11 PM on June 14, 2005

[Belated donkey punch joke here]
posted by Fezboy! at 1:12 PM on June 14, 2005

Allow me.

Fezboy!: Fucking PoliticsFilter. MeTa.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:13 PM on June 14, 2005

gramschmidt == teh   
posted by Fezboy! at 1:16 PM on June 14, 2005

Rum Saddamy & the Longboat.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 1:17 PM on June 14, 2005

This human, much like a donkey, is predisposed towards sleeping, braying, and eating sugar cubes. Notes that unlike a donkey, she is not predisposed towards kicking people and has yet to be sodomized by kenko.

Decides to guard rear-quarters carefully, just in case. You never know.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:18 PM on June 14, 2005

gramschmidt: Fucking MeTaFilter. MeTa.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:18 PM on June 14, 2005

Go Fez, go! Beat AlexReynolds's record and use the drama queen logo 43 times in 30 seconds! GO GO GO!
posted by gramschmidt at 1:20 PM on June 14, 2005

Quick registeration of awesome.fake.url.sartre in an attempt to generate AdSense revenue from cheap page hits due to well-placed MeTa link.

Profits!!!
posted by Fezboy! at 1:24 PM on June 14, 2005

Reminds grapefruitmoon of their Thursday night rendezvous.
posted by kenko at 1:25 PM on June 14, 2005

Realization that perhaps some records are best left to the legends who set them.

Awww, hell. On my mark. Get set. Ready!? GOOO!!!!
posted by Fezboy! at 1:28 PM on June 14, 2005

posted by Fezboy! at 1:29 PM on June 14, 2005

****pants****

For the record, friends and neighbors, that is 31!

F3280YOne Pwnzz0rs!!!11!one!1's AlexReynolds' ass [donkey, that is. and a nice one too].
posted by Fezboy! at 1:32 PM on June 14, 2005

Oh, crap! I thought it was 30 in 43 seconds! My 31 is a snivelling pile of poo compared to the true legend.
sheepishly hands back the tiarra to AlexReynolds
posted by Fezboy! at 1:36 PM on June 14, 2005

Kicks gram's schmidt.
posted by wendell at 1:38 PM on June 14, 2005

Hands the sheep back to Fezboy!
posted by wendell at 1:43 PM on June 14, 2005

That's no sheep, wendell, that's my daa-aa-aaa-aa-aad.
posted by Fezboy! at 1:46 PM on June 14, 2005

posted by wendell at 1:47 PM on June 14, 2005

clocks in. goes back to work.
posted by Fezboy! at 1:48 PM on June 14, 2005

My baa-aa-aa-aad.
posted by wendell at 1:50 PM on June 14, 2005

Punches Fezboy's clock. Takes away his !, and returns it to the 'flag this post' function.
posted by wendell at 1:53 PM on June 14, 2005

Music and Medicine are two planets that revolve around the same sun. *Bong* *Bong*
posted by Divine_Wino at 2:02 PM on June 14, 2005

sheepishly hands back the tiarra to AlexReynolds



Thanks, cutie!
posted by AlexReynolds at 2:42 PM on June 14, 2005

At this rate we'll never make it to the 1000th post. I'm so disappointed in you fuckers. I wish you had never been born.

Hey, that's a nice tiara.
posted by loquacious at 2:47 PM on June 14, 2005

    
posted by y2karl at 3:09 PM on June 14, 2005

Never make it to the 10th post, eh? That soundz lik a derr hay com on guyz hope me!!!
posted by gramschmidt at 3:10 PM on June 14, 2005

!!!1!11!1!1!!!one!!!!1!1|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
posted by gramschmidt at 3:11 PM on June 14, 2005

@@@2@22@22@@twotwotwotwo||||||pipe||||||||
posted by gramschmidt at 3:12 PM on June 14, 2005

Dammit, I have failed in resisting If I Had an Anus's Pogues reference:

Well Jimmy played harmonica in the pub where I was born
He played it from the night time to the peaceful early morn
He soothed the souls of psychos and the men who had the horn
And they all looked very happy in the morning

But Jimmy didn't like his place in this world of ours
Where the elephant man broke strong men's necks
When he'd had too many Powers
So sad to see the grieving of the people that he's leaving
And he took the road for God knows in the morning

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we'd be seeing him again
(Far away) I'm sad to say I must be on my way
So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause I'm going far away (far away)
I'd like to think of me returning when I can
To the greatest little boozer and to Sally MacLennane

The years passed by the times had changed I grew to be a man
I learned to love the virtues of sweet Sally MacLennane
I took the jeers and drank the beers and crawled back home at dawn
And ended up a barman in the morning

I played the pump and took the hump and watered whiskey down
I talked of whores and horses to the men who drank the brown
I heard them say that Jimmy's making money far away
And some people left for heaven without warning

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we'd be seeing him again
(Far away) I'm sad to say I must be on my way
So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause I'm going far away (far away)
I'd like to think of me returning when I can
To the greatest little boozer and to Sally MacLennane

When Jimmy came back home he was surprised that they were gone
He asked me all the details of the train that they went on
Some people they are scared to croak but Jimmy drank until he choked
And he took the road for heaven in the morning

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we'd be seeing him again
(Far away) I'm sad to say I must be on my way
So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause I'm going far away (far away)
I'd like to think of me returning when I can
To the greatest little boozer and to Sally MacLennane
posted by gramschmidt at 3:16 PM on June 14, 2005

At this rate we'll never make it to the 1000th post.

Concur. Here's the number of posts divided by 24-hour intervals:

317 (5:21PM June 6 - 5:21PM June 7)
219 (5:21PM June 7 - 5:21PM June 8)
204 (5:21PM June 8 - 5:21PM June 9)
172 (5:21PM June 9 - 5:21PM June 10)
109 (5:21PM June 10 - 5:21PM June 11)
94 (5:21PM June 11 - 5:21PM June 12)
89 (5:21PM June 12 - 5:21PM June 13)
148 (5:21PM June 13 - now)

There's a pretty obvious decay in the rate of comments. However, you'll notice an uptick in the last day, which seems only partially attributable to long sequences such as this one. There are several views of the data that all show more or less the same thing, such as elapsed time between comments. Note that the longest gap between comments is 238 minutes, and is not attributatble downtime.

Under the current conditions I expect that the record of 1729 will be broken by the end of the upcoming weekend. Within the 30-day window, I expect that it will get somewhere between 2500 and 3000 comments (note that these estimates may be revised depending on any changes in the overall trends).
posted by casu marzu at 3:27 PM on June 14, 2005

No, it's just that 9622v2 is experiencing less traffic now that it has slid off the front page.

You can do your part by not clicking on that link or posting any more to it. Especially no more pictures of monkeys. Or midget, bucktoothed tweaker bears.
posted by loquacious at 2:02 PM PST on June 14 [!]

Blasphemy!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:31 PM on June 14, 2005

I haven't even gotten started. All I needs to do is stick my hand up Dios' bum and make him my own personal sock puppet.

This thread's goin' places, baby!
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:32 PM on June 14, 2005

casu marzu, doesn't the fact that you're posting your analysis *in* the thread pose a threat to its validity?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:39 PM on June 14, 2005

Or is it supposed to be participant observation? If so, put your monkey suit back on.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:41 PM on June 14, 2005

Poster realizes that the summoning of Bevets as his first act in the thread has so far not born any fruit. case.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:43 PM on June 14, 2005

Post pointing out that you have to tap two "snarky comment about intelligent design" mana cards before you can play Summon Bevets. Also Millstone and Kudzu are in affect.

Plays Ball Lighting.
posted by drezdn at 3:50 PM on June 14, 2005

posted by quonsar at 3:53 PM on June 14, 2005

Long rambling post about how this thread reminds poster of how when he first got email address, him and a friend sent each other an email without every deleting anything off the reply, leading to a 1Meg email message being sent back and forth between the two of us until the campus email system got persnickety. Which reminds poster of the time he used to spend on usenet in alt.music.ska, and leads poster to realize that he wasted much of his college years, but hopefully things have changed now.

This leads the poster to hope Deborah's feelings aren't hurt, and that the poster has covered himself in bubblewrap should anyone attempt to beat his ass.

Then the poster considers the fact that some of the people who haven't made appearances in this thread in a while are making a come back, then the poster wonders what ever happened to postroad or did he just ghofb? And what of Miguel? Aaron? Rcade? Bunnyfire? Jonmc? So many good ones lost to the ravages as time.

Poster sips another beer.
posted by drezdn at 3:57 PM on June 14, 2005

Also, RED LIGHT!
posted by drezdn at 3:58 PM on June 14, 2005

From the MeTa current archive page: 1363 comments

From AlexReynolds: I haven't even gotten started. [...] This thread's goin' places, baby!

Well it's about time! As you can see, it's deadsville.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:01 PM on June 14, 2005

Ponders the nominal and numerical irony of this numbersake.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:01 PM on June 14, 2005

I've decided to use this thread to log what I do during the day.

06/14/05 5:58 PM Posted to Metatalk
posted by drezdn at 4:02 PM on June 14, 2005

Chapter 1

TOWARDS the end of November, during a thaw, at nine o’clock one morning, a train on the Warsaw and Petersburg railway was approaching the latter city at full speed. The morning was so damp and misty that it was only with great difficulty that the day succeeded in breaking; and it was impossible to distinguish anything more than a few yards away from the carriage windows.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:04 PM on June 14, 2005

6/14/05 6:02 PM Logged post to Metatalk. Took a sip of water, scratched stomach.
posted by drezdn at 4:05 PM on June 14, 2005

Is it me, or has y2karl's type got even smaller?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:05 PM on June 14, 2005

drezdn: GYO9622FW.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:06 PM on June 14, 2005

Poor babypussy. Someone should lobby Matt for its re-assignment and possible re-naming.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:06 PM on June 14, 2005

614/05 6:05 PM logged post to metatalk
posted by drezdn at 4:07 PM on June 14, 2005

6/14/05 6:07 PM logged post to metatalk, noted goodnewsfortheinsane's disapproval. Adds his(?) name to The List. Crosses goodnewsfortheinsane off christmas card list.

wonders whether the comments would increase dramatically if someone were to call this thread out for abusing bandwidth?
posted by drezdn at 4:10 PM on June 14, 2005

9622v2 TAGLINE ELECTION UPDATE

Updated shortlist:

A MetaTalk 9622: And the crowd went mild.
B MetaTalk 9622: Something old, something new, something B double-posted, to the blue.
C MetaTalk 9622: We're never going to make n
D MetaTalk 9622: It's permanently carved onto their cortexes. Es. Xes. Exes.
E MetaTalk 9622: Short, sharp amused exclamation!
F MetaTalk 9622: If I was going to stir up trouble, I'd get a bigger spoon.
G MetaTalk 9622: ...and this came from where?
H MetaTalk 9622: Circle-jerking narcissists parodying the way they talk about themselves.
I MetaTalk 9622: One-liner which hopefully will be later quoted as a tagline. (meta)
J MetaTalk 9622: Is this something I'd need a computer to understand?
K MetaTalk 9622: mono, like all good Brit invasion fans.
L MetaTalk 9622: what, no espresso?
M MetaTalk 9622: it is evident that comment generation is somewhat less than the method MetaTalk clusterfuck used in isolation.
N MetaTalk 9622: Half-assed attempt at covering up Noob Guilt ©
O MetaTalk 9622: MEN. WITHOUT. PANTS.
P MetaTalk 9622: we are all figments of those with an actual imagination. (meta) (metameta)
Q MetaTalk 9622: Here is where a God that isn't a piece of shit would have placed a "happily ever after."
R MetaTalk 9622: Giggles out loud at self-perceived accomplishment in the field of irony, then realises there's no one around.
S MetaTalk 9622: That's not MY longboat.
T MetaTalk 9622: Guaranteed 100% content-free.
U MetaTalk 9622: Where the third person is the default mode
V MetaTalk 9622: the nipple tassles clashed with the thong
W MetaTalk 9622: *You* work at a *cow orkery*?

Running tally:

H (1 vote)
S (3 votes)
T (1 vote)

5 people have voted. IIHAA, grapefruitmoon, cranberry, languagehat and wendell are excluded from voting again. If I missed a vote, let me know.

Voting closes upon the announcement of the announcement of the 1730th comment, upon which the final tally will be made and margaritas and longboats will be passed all round.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:18 PM on June 14, 2005

*I* was on someone's christmas card list?

*pops champagne, waits for it to go flat, then pours it from the balcony. sheds a tear*
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:21 PM on June 14, 2005

Abrupt Me-tooism vote for S

Thought out democratic style vote for Q.
posted by drezdn at 4:23 PM on June 14, 2005

Yes, there's a superfluous "B" in the B tagline. Don't let it influence your vote.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:24 PM on June 14, 2005

Worries that casu marzu's projection will produce laziness in 9622v2's noble Knights of the Inane Comment, making it a self-defeating prophecy.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:31 PM on June 14, 2005

Don't let my offer of freedom in the middle east extra whale meat influence your vote... I'll throw in some shark too, if you like...

Vote S!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:33 PM on June 14, 2005

At this rate we'll never make it to the 10000th post. I'm so disappointed in you fuckers. I wish you had never been born.

Hey, that's a nice tiara.
posted by loquacious at 4:34 PM on June 14, 2005

Shush, you. I'll have you gunned down like a dog in the street if you ever question my patriotism ever again. Now fetch me my smoking monkey.
posted by loquacious at 4:36 PM on June 14, 2005

Worries that casu marzu's projection will produce laziness in 9622v2's noble Knights of the Inane Comment, making it a self-defeating prophecy.....

Quiero mucho ver las diapositivas de vuestra operación de hígado pero en primer lugar necesito ir cortar mi cabeza en pedazos pequeñitos con mi peine
posted by qwerty155 at 4:40 PM on June 14, 2005

Inspired by the Christian America Flag, I think this thread needs a flag as well. I'm thinking a donkey at 3/4 profile with a vibrant grey background, the donkey will be riding a longboat. With a flag on the longboat with the number 5 representing the $5 noobs that died so that we may live. Then a quote from Wait's "Down in A Hole" and whatever tagline voted upon at the bottom. Then there will be JRUN thread sewn into the lining to symbolizes he who truly runs this site.
posted by drezdn at 4:46 PM on June 14, 2005

No smoking monkey. However:



Found, oddly, thusly.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:48 PM on June 14, 2005

Has the Thread made it this far without a blinking tag?
posted by drezdn at 4:48 PM on June 14, 2005

Content free post designed to draw attention to itself
posted by drezdn at 4:54 PM on June 14, 2005

Yes, this far. No, not without.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:58 PM on June 14, 2005

Poster fears that thread is becoming far to narcissistic and in the process my well disappear up it's own arsehole
posted by qwerty155 at 4:58 PM on June 14, 2005

Indifferent realisation that over half of poster's MeTa comments ever are accounted for within THIS MESS.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:01 PM on June 14, 2005

Running tally:

H (1 vote)
S (3 votes)
T (1 vote)

I demand a recount.

In fact, I have carefully tallied ALL of the votes from every single comment in this thread. Here is the real tally:

E (22733 votes)
T (18331 votes)
O (15828 votes)
A (15574 votes)
I (13876 votes)
N (13756 votes)
S (13282 votes)
R (11012 votes)
H (9186 votes)
L (8389 votes)
D (7135 votes)
M (5865 votes)
U (5759 votes)
C (5245 votes)
G (4868 votes)
P (4269 votes)
F (4006 votes)
W (3724 votes)
B (3278 votes)
K (2286 votes)
V (1850 votes)
J (537 votes)
Q (278 votes)

Note that I have removed some write-in candidates.
posted by casu marzu at 5:01 PM on June 14, 2005

Nominates goodnewsfortheinsane as thread historian.
posted by drezdn at 5:07 PM on June 14, 2005

casu marzu, you big geek.

*hugs casu*

Um. Would you maybe help me out with my SPSS troubles?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:08 PM on June 14, 2005

In blatent disregard for robert's rules of order, seconds the nomination.
posted by drezdn at 5:09 PM on June 14, 2005

Poster realises its probably far too late...



Poster also notes amusing google image search results
posted by qwerty155 at 5:11 PM on June 14, 2005

*dons historian glasses*

Just be glad I'm not the thread's house mathematician.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:14 PM on June 14, 2005

**laughs loudly at qwerty155's typo**

**votes for Q (cuz it still hurts baby!)**
posted by schyler523 at 5:16 PM on June 14, 2005

Oh, pleeeaassseeee, can we keeps it? I'll feed it and and rub it's keel gently and and goatse it's mule, and I'll never ever ever slap it with a trout. Puhlease?

X: GYO9622FW.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:17 PM on June 14, 2005

*gets paranoid, tries to work out which of his many typos have caused schyler to 'lol'*
posted by qwerty155 at 5:24 PM on June 14, 2005

Oh, and another typo: one tagline links to Blogger (which I used as a scratchpad for editing). Do not vote under influence.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:26 PM on June 14, 2005

This thread took forever to load on my


posted by killdevil at 5:34 PM on June 14, 2005

Crossness at only just finding this damn thread owing to being away.

On preview: more crossness at time taken to reload whole thread just to post this
posted by bonaldi at 5:35 PM on June 14, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:39 PM on June 14, 2005

I less than three 9622v2.
posted by drezdn at 7:00 PM on June 14, 2005

9622v2: A Meme is Born
posted by drezdn at 7:43 PM on June 14, 2005

                
posted by y2karl at 7:49 PM on June 14, 2005

methinks you may have meant may, eh?

I'm deranged, don't mind me...I'll be the one in the corner shoving the entirety of his possesions into a duffle, backpack, and few boxes...Just don't mark me return to sender!
posted by schyler523 at 7:59 PM on June 14, 2005

schyler, I have...um...misplaced something. Did you perhaps see...a case? A big one? Silver, with triple titanium locks?
posted by gramschmidt at 8:09 PM on June 14, 2005

Big enough for several dozen...um...spent...

...plutonium...

...fuck, this is embarassing..

...rods?
posted by gramschmidt at 8:11 PM on June 14, 2005

Hey, did you hear that Michael Jackson was found not guilssdkjfhuihfeo&87#O*&:


posted by gramschmidt at 8:18 PM on June 14, 2005

sorry dude, i just hooked it up to my guitar amp, and blew the mofo up! Did you need those things for real?

My bad...
posted by schyler523 at 8:19 PM on June 14, 2005

DAMMIT!

No man, it's...it's cool. It's just that...I...fuck...

I had to blow the whole night crew at the reactor to get that stuff. And I mean real, solid, enthusiastic blow jobs, none of this rote, hesitant hand job stuff. I had to work it.

FARC is NOT going to be happy.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:23 PM on June 14, 2005

Nor FERC, for that matter.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:24 PM on June 14, 2005

Nor the Kafka Society of America.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:25 PM on June 14, 2005

**hangs head is shame**

well, maybe we can salvage some...you really couldn't hear that?
posted by schyler523 at 8:30 PM on June 14, 2005

, tricks are for schmidty.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:32 PM on June 14, 2005

Are you telling me that Michael Jackson was found not gramschmidt?

Then how come Phil Jackson has been sentenced to 1-3 years coaching the Lakers?
posted by wendell at 8:34 PM on June 14, 2005

What do you mean, wendell, man? All the pieces totally fit! Open your eyes, man!
posted by gramschmidt at 8:40 PM on June 14, 2005

No, I heard something, but I figured it was wendell rawking the new Foo Fighters disc again. But no, you're probably right, maybe we can glue a bunch of it back together or something. Hey, here's a piece in the corner...
posted by gramschmidt at 8:44 PM on June 14, 2005

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try,,,

(not going to quote any more of this song; I think we've all heard enough of it..)
posted by wendell at 8:56 PM on June 14, 2005

posted by killdevil at 9:41 PM on June 14, 2005

posted by killdevil at 9:43 PM on June 14, 2005

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all convictions, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.


Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
posted by killdevil at 9:58 PM on June 14, 2005

Checks out 2269 but resists the urge to call anyone fuckwit.
posted by geekyguy at 10:03 PM on June 14, 2005

Poster slouches toward Bakersfield.
posted by wendell at 10:07 PM on June 14, 2005

WendellFuckWit.com (self-link)
posted by wendell at 10:10 PM on June 14, 2005

posted by killdevil at 10:24 PM on June 14, 2005

posted by AlexReynolds at 11:03 PM on June 14, 2005

admires AlexReynolds' teeth
posted by Cranberry at 11:55 PM on June 14, 2005

playfully splashes wave of OceanSpray at wendell. Shrugs off threat of Nemester
posted by Cranberry at 11:58 PM on June 14, 2005

thanks Cranberry for the opposable thumbs up
posted by AlexReynolds at 12:23 AM on June 15, 2005

*pokes thread with stick*
posted by qwerty155 at 3:50 AM on June 15, 2005

*sees thread stirring but decides not to wake it. Steps back slowly*
posted by qwerty155 at 3:52 AM on June 15, 2005

Perhaps AlexReynolds would like a banana? And some floss?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:26 AM on June 15, 2005

Rubs eyes, searches for coffee. Sees that, like him, thread is ready to face a new day.
posted by killdevil at 5:45 AM on June 15, 2005

*ahem*
, tricks are for schmidty.

Geez for a bunch o' fun-lovin' kids who delight in overloading servers, Fark is sure an old anti-hotlinking fuddy-duddy. What are those gifs, like 200 bytes?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:14 AM on June 15, 2005

Encouraging post pointing out that 1500 is just over the next hill.
posted by drezdn at 7:23 AM on June 15, 2005

Obligatory post to pad posting total. Mention that poster has just lost The Game again.
posted by Fezboy! at 7:26 AM on June 15, 2005

thanks Cranberry for the opposable thumbs up
posted by AlexReynolds at 12:23 AM PST on June 15 [!]

*pokes thread with stick*
posted by qwerty155 at 3:50 AM PST on June 15 [!]

3.5 hours? Oh no no no no no, this will not do.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:45 AM on June 15, 2005

Let's play Name That Crank!

Guess the website from whence the following the was taken:

How many whites died while
freeing blacks from slavery?
Do blacks honor those whites?
Blacks did not free the slaves.
Ought not free slaves escape,
or is a slavery cry enriching?
Blacks are enslaving whites -
and will soon extract revenge.
Black children suffer from the
cost caused by black lawsuits.
USA was a redskin nation and
is now a whiteskin nation. It
will become a blackskin nation
and then an asianskin nation.
There are 4 Worlds for 4 races,
but only 1 World is racial slop.

posted by gramschmidt at 7:47 AM on June 15, 2005

Um. Would you maybe help me out with my SPSS troubles?

Wish I could, but I've never used SPSS.
posted by casu marzu at 7:47 AM on June 15, 2005

Another day at work, another day at 9622v2. I've missed you guys.
posted by kenko at 7:50 AM on June 15, 2005

Round 2:

So World War 3 will happen in just a few years. The messiah needs a feasible plan which both USA and China will accept. And according to prophecies, the plan must enable the messiah to unite the entire world PEACEFULLY. So a simple nuclear disarmament won't work. A 'League of Nations' or 'United Nations' type of simple organization won't work. Trust me, the world corporation plan is the messiah's final plan. If you disagree, you have to invent your own plan before 2010.

posted by gramschmidt at 8:02 AM on June 15, 2005

Round 2? I must have missed Round 1. Who got voted off the thread?


























Looks around.








































Um, it was me, wasn't it?
posted by casu marzu at 8:05 AM on June 15, 2005

Guess the website from whence the following the was taken:

I didnt know, but my google powers were able to thwart your question. Hmm, interesting site. You know a website has been written by someone who really should been living in the big house when the text of the site is REALLY REALLY BIG and in lots of different colours (realises for the first time that the font colour tag doesnt work)
posted by qwerty155 at 8:14 AM on June 15, 2005

Since there were as yet no answers, I hereby declare, uh, geez ... how about zegna -- zegna? Sure -- off the thread.

Beat it, ghosty.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:16 AM on June 15, 2005

Anyway, glad you guys have finally turned up for work. Eight hours of playing Zuma have left me feeling rather twitchy with an awful case of RSI
posted by qwerty155 at 8:17 AM on June 15, 2005

Round 3:

Our mission is to protect America’s treasures for future generations, provide access to our nation’s natural and cultural heritage, offer recreation opportunities, honor our trust responsibilities to American Indians and Alaska Natives and our responsibilities to island communities, conduct scientific research, provide wise stewardship of energy and mineral resources, foster sound use of land and water resources, and conserve and protect fish and wildlife. The work that we do affects the lives of millions of people; from the family taking a vacation in one of our national parks to the children studying in one of our Indian schools.

posted by gramschmidt at 8:18 AM on June 15, 2005

I am a fugitive from a chain gaing.

Notes that wendell's rules are lying in tatters. Tatters!
posted by kenko at 8:21 AM on June 15, 2005

Oh man, qwerty, you weren't a Time Cube fan before? Classic stuff. Wikipedia has good entries on it and Gene Ray, its discoverer.

DUMB STUDENTS ARE EDUCATED STUPID!
posted by gramschmidt at 8:22 AM on June 15, 2005

licorice tattoo turned a gun metal blue scrawled across the shoulders
of a dying town the one eyed jacks across the railroad tracks
and the scar on its belly pulled a stranger passing through
he was a juvenile delinquent never learned how to behave
but the cops would never think to look in
burma shave

and the road was like a ribbon and the moon was like a bone
he didn't seem to be like any guy she'd ever known
he kinda looked like farley granger with his hair slicked back
she says i'm a sucker for a fella in a cowboy hat
how far are you going he said depends on what you mean
he says i'm going thataway just as long as it's paved
i guess you'd say i'm on my way to
burma shave

and her knees up on the glove compartment
took out her barrettes and her hair spilled out like rootbeer
and she popped her gum and arched her back
hell marysville ain't nothing but a wide spot in the road
some night my heart pounds just like thunder
i don't know why it don't explode
cause everyone in this stinking town has got one foot in the grave
and i'd rather take my chances out in
burma shave

presley's what i go by why don't you change the station
count the grain elevators in the rearview mirror
mister anywhere you point this thing
has got to beat the hell out of the sting
of going to bed with every dream that dies here every mornin
and so drill me a hole with a barber pole
i'm jumping my parole just like a fugitive tonight
why don't you have another swig
and pass that car if you're so brave
i wanna get there before the sun comes up in
burma shave

and the spider web crack and the mustang screamed
smoke from the tires and the twisted machine
just a nickel's worth of dreams and every wishbone that they saved
lie swindled from them on the way to
burma shave

and the sun hit the derrick and cast a bat wing shadow
up against the car door on the shot gun side
and when they pulled her from the wreck you know she
still had on her shades
they say that dreams are growing wild just this side of
burma shave
posted by kenko at 8:23 AM on June 15, 2005

An open mind is a slop bucket

Wow.

Just wow.
posted by qwerty155 at 8:29 AM on June 15, 2005

You know it rained all day, the day that Elvis Presley died. And only a legend can make it do that. You know, I remember when my baby said we were through, and she was gonna walk out on me, it was Elvis Presley who talked her out of that. And he gave me my first leather jacket. And taught me how to comb my hair just right in a filling station bathroom. It was Elvis that gave you a rubber on prom night. And told you that you looked real sharp. And you know, I think he maybe just got a little tired of repairing all the broken hearts in the world. And now I think maybe I understand why mechanics’ cars never start. And why night watchmen are always sleeping on the job. And why shoeshine boys always have worn-out scooped-up shoes. But eh... [mumbles] A legend never dies, he just teaches you everything he knows. To give you the courage to ask her out. And I know, there’s a small little town where dreams are still alive. And there’s a hero on every corner. And they’re all on their way to a place called Burma-Shave. Scrawled out across the shoulders of this dying little town, see? And every night it takes the one eyed Jacks. You know, a one eyed Jack is like a... You got one headlight burned out on your car. It’s called a one eyed Jack. You can see them from across the railroad tracks. Over the scar on its belly, there came a stranger passing through...
posted by kenko at 8:31 AM on June 15, 2005

Ah, I see.

If I may guest-host for a moment --
Name Metafilter's own Crank!
(The correct answer will identify both the crank's website and the crank's Metafilter id)

Think now about the earlier analysis of what our position in the scheme of things will be if it turns out that we can create the next Big Bang.

If that analysis is on target, the scientific proof establishing this possibility as an attainable outcome will become the basis for a modern, compelling worldview that will invest broad educational achievement with the greatest meaning simply because having a functional role to create a new universe directly implies that we have to understand everything there is to know about his one. Such an emphasis on the pure pursuit of knowledge is exactly what we need as a purely practical matter to prevent us from sinking into political, economic, and social insignificance.

posted by casu marzu at 8:49 AM on June 15, 2005

and the sun hit the derrick and cast a bat wing shadow

Is Tom Waits in the new Christopher Nolan film?
posted by gramschmidt at 8:53 AM on June 15, 2005

Oh, that's Dr. Hilton. His MetaTalk thread was great. Lemme grab it...
posted by gramschmidt at 8:57 AM on June 15, 2005

Another work day, another day wearing out the relaod button. I'm with ya kenko.
posted by raedyn at 8:58 AM on June 15, 2005

It just occurred to me that my constant reloading of this page might make my semi-clandestine surfing habits more likely to come to the attention of some internal watchdog. I'm currently pondering the importance of the possibility, and weighing that against the importance of keeping up with THIS MESS - the longboat legend.
posted by raedyn at 9:01 AM on June 15, 2005

Excellent!

Name Metafilter's own celebrity crank #2!
(As before, website + user. Hint: his thread was one of the most underrated bits of surreal Mefi comedy ever).

1. Re-Write "Articles"
2. Create Website Content "from scratch" That is absolutely unique, and nowhere else in the world!
3. Manipulate HTML, PHP, CSS, or any other web-language
4. Output to Any File Type
5. Write content in any western-character language
6. Generate "organic-looking", readable, content
7. Create completely random sub-linking from each page
8. Works with ANY affiliate program
9. Can create content that search engines can't WAIT to spider...
10. Remember: Not just "articles"! Your look. Your feel. YOUR HTML, PHP, ETC!

....and that means big-time profit potential for you!

posted by casu marzu at 9:23 AM on June 15, 2005

raedyn, do you work for The Man^®?
posted by gramschmidt at 9:53 AM on June 15, 2005

Oh good gravy, Article Bot. But I don't remember the thread. I give up. Link?
posted by gramschmidt at 10:06 AM on June 15, 2005

Yep! Here's the articlebot thread. Articlebot gets pretty lathered up about mid-way through. It's quite entertaining.
posted by casu marzu at 10:18 AM on June 15, 2005

Notes she's too late to hand AlexReynolds a latex glove and hope he's washed his hands.

Glares at drezdn's donkey.
posted by deborah at 10:39 AM on June 15, 2005

raedyn, do you work for The Man®? - gramschmidt

*hangs head in shame*
yes. yes I do.
the tax man, infact.
posted by raedyn at 11:04 AM on June 15, 2005

*** A) Are you conceding that there is difference between "convenient searching" and "added value"? If so, thanks for that. B) What would Article Bot be "litigated against" for? WE don't do ANYTHING. We provide folks a way to create content. How THEY create content is up to THEM. C) Article Bot's ability to create content is not the same as a search engine's BUSINESS MODEL of TAKING content and MANIPULTING IT to MAKE MONEY. You can debate the relative "goodness " or "badness" of computer-generated content, but you can't really debate the fact that the search engines SOLE BUSINESS MODEL is based on OTHER PEOPLE'S content.
posted by gramschmidt at 11:13 AM on June 15, 2005

In tribute to articlebot, I give you: 9622bot.

9622bot writes: schyler, I raise my glass. Notes that every MetaFilter member is a grilled 45 sandwich. realizes what he's done and drowns hi sorrows in Schlitz. Repeated use of either the word "whappa" or "smock", meant to point out how there are now sock puppet account thus proving theory that only tangentially apply. I mean would it make a difference? Look metal flower petal tears do not even appear in the summer sun may burn my back And these tears may dim my sight. But before I die, there's a superfluous "B" in the blue. C MetaTalk 9622: Giggles out loud at self-perceived accomplishment in the morning like a plate a' Corn beef and cabbage I'm a sick fucker Like a red-neck trucker And I don't drink coffee...
posted by casu marzu at 11:14 AM on June 15, 2005

9622bot writes: what, no espresso? M MetaTalk 9622: If I was a Steely Dan fan who would never do it your own in the heat of emotion, but wholeheartedly reaffirms righteous indignation on the tip of his history with mules that nice donkey wants to know about his one. Such an emphasis on the planet.
posted by casu marzu at 11:15 AM on June 15, 2005

9622bot writes: MEN. WITHOUT. PANTS. P MetaTalk 9622: Something old, something new, something double-posted, to the ewok, then change it back to hot man-on-man masturbation video.
posted by casu marzu at 11:16 AM on June 15, 2005

Bongo, do you think we'll make 10000?


posted by If I Had An Anus at 11:17 AM on June 15, 2005

9622bot writes: Realizes that ericb may be identified through the suburbs, mowing inappropriate slogans into water-hogging status symbol lawns. And as a docile, moody, often intemperate creature, is a bunch of mentally handicapped citizens wielding swords on the couch, wake up Jonmc and take that pizza off the front page. Discuss. has seen Moby's wang, has pictures of Moby's wang around. Ponders the wangness of Moby, and of the internets and thus; much like Johnny the Down's Syndrome sprinter; proves himself to be compatable on an extended world tour with yours truly. Starting time is---not any time without notice. Be aware of anyone on #mefi who wears red yarn around their wrist. Repetitive whinging about poster's use of references that few, if any, can decipher. Can each of you loan me $5?
posted by casu marzu at 11:18 AM on June 15, 2005

9622bot writes: Is it his fault when we've gone too far, and we got too far, cause on him we walk Mr.Wendal, a man, a human in Big Crazy Thread, in lieu of giving away identity as Turing machine.
posted by casu marzu at 11:21 AM on June 15, 2005

this thread has jumped the shark.
posted by chota at 11:26 AM on June 15, 2005

raedyn: Hey, no shame. Pragmatism and all that; you know. I think your boat is large enough for a lot of us. As a result, the F5 key is worn down to a nub. A NUB, I TELL YOU! Or, as Donbot would say, A "NUB", I tell "you" "content" taking Google "does" this "already", ALREADY!
posted by gramschmidt at 11:36 AM on June 15, 2005

cries that qwerty155 was alone overnight. sorry he is all alone in UK. forwards baby-sitters phone #
posted by Cranberry at 11:43 AM on June 15, 2005

forwards $5.00 to casu marzu
posted by Cranberry at 11:44 AM on June 15, 2005

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:47 AM on June 15, 2005

remembers rasheed wallace is a forward.
posted by Cranberry at 11:47 AM on June 15, 2005

9622bot, you make some interesting points and your argument is largely cogent. However, your analysis could perhaps benefit from a few sources you may have overlooked. Allow me to quote RAW:

Sometimes another gratifying football team reads a magazine, but the grizzly bear always shares a shower with some conspiracy toward a riot cop! Indeed, a hypnotic molotov cocktail tries to seduce an often Nietzchean tentacle. Indeed, an umbrella about an imitation plastic foreskin sanitizes the reactor. The alien gangster reaches an understanding with the yeti for a chain saw. Now and then, another fractured parking lot gives a pink slip to a dogmatically neurolinguistic Gurdjieff.

posted by gramschmidt at 11:49 AM on June 15, 2005

stares uncomprehendingly at broken clock
posted by Cranberry at 11:51 AM on June 15, 2005

wonders why, in a thread that seeks numbers of comments, mefites persist in posting paragraphs instead of sentences
posted by Cranberry at 11:53 AM on June 15, 2005

wanders away. forward
posted by Cranberry at 11:54 AM on June 15, 2005

Thanks Cranberry. Can you send a photo as well?
posted by qwerty155 at 11:55 AM on June 15, 2005

Edict: Ron Santo, albeit a heckuva 3B in his day and noteworthy in his efforts in re curing/surviving diabetes, is a sad sack of commentary road apple pancakes.

That is all.
posted by Fezboy! at 11:56 AM on June 15, 2005

The ring? I won’t wear it. Not necessarily because that it’s a championship ring and that it’s big as hell, I just don’t wear too much jewelry. It’s going to go in a box. But I’ll wear this belt. I’ll wear that for sure.

Rasheed heads into the NBA Finals to defend his championship
posted by casu marzu at 12:00 PM on June 15, 2005

Bongo, does chota love America?


posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:11 PM on June 15, 2005

Bongo, America is facing some troubling times. Employment is at an all-time low while obnoxiousness and jingoism are running rampant. As a senatorial candidate from Canada, the 51st state, do you think you're up to the task of defending the United States from its invisible enemies?
posted by gramschmidt at 12:37 PM on June 15, 2005

I just want to say that if S doesn't win, I'm demanding a recount.

Also, if we could hook up some wires to Bongo's head we could solve the world's energy problems..
posted by languagehat at 12:54 PM on June 15, 2005

Damn, there's an extra period there. Here, Bongo, have a period. Good Bongo. Hey, not my finger! Bad Bongo!
posted by languagehat at 12:55 PM on June 15, 2005

9622bot will never beat Genefilter. Ah, good times, good times.
posted by wendell at 1:18 PM on June 15, 2005

raeden works for The Man®...
does anybody here work for The Dude®?

(I'm currently independent contracting for another MeFite who works for --shudder-- Bill Gates)

or are we all just Workin' For The Weekend®???
posted by wendell at 1:22 PM on June 15, 2005

Where did GeneFilter go?

9622bot uses the same algorithm as Genefilter. The only difference is that it uses this thread for its datasource instead of the comments from individual users. The algorithm itself is a hoary computational parlor trick.
posted by casu marzu at 1:28 PM on June 15, 2005

Did somebody mention TimeCube®?

Hey, our bastard children at MonkeyFilter have found something better: SpermCube!!!

(which reminds me, would you guys please return Bongo to MoFi before they notice he's missing?)
posted by wendell at 1:33 PM on June 15, 2005

I hate it when the internet at work goes down for like 6 hours.

Like, like, man.
posted by kenko at 1:33 PM on June 15, 2005

The algorithm itself is a hoary computational parlor trick.

But of course. John Robinson Pierce and Claude Shannon (no link necessary, I hope) would be proud.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:42 PM on June 15, 2005

We ARE gonna make 1500.
posted by wendell at 1:47 PM on June 15, 2005

Like about NOW.
posted by wendell at 1:48 PM on June 15, 2005

Unless we already have (damn static archive page).
posted by wendell at 1:50 PM on June 15, 2005

regrets raising qwerty155's hopes. admits never intended to reveal babysitter. cruel trick. forget picture, qwerty
posted by Cranberry at 1:51 PM on June 15, 2005

gmail will not load. second instance of gmail failure. desolate. thought google was better than that.
posted by Cranberry at 1:52 PM on June 15, 2005

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN
posted by gramschmidt at 1:52 PM on June 15, 2005

tries to adjust to adversity. figures now may be time to get some work done. sighs
posted by Cranberry at 1:54 PM on June 15, 2005

posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:55 PM on June 15, 2005

Sorry; that needs some size:

DAMN
DAMN
DAMN
DAMN
DAMN
DAMN
DAMN

posted by gramschmidt at 1:55 PM on June 15, 2005

Further apologies. Should have been:

DAMN

posted by gramschmidt at 1:56 PM on June 15, 2005

DAMN

posted by gramschmidt at 1:57 PM on June 15, 2005

Who here likes pancakes?

posted by killdevil at 2:00 PM on June 15, 2005

I like blueberry the best
posted by killdevil at 2:04 PM on June 15, 2005

But chocolate chip are pretty good too.
posted by killdevil at 2:06 PM on June 15, 2005

My calculations (I downloaded the thread and grepped for 'div class="comment"') show that wendel's comment Unless we already have (damn static archive page) is the 1500th comment.

Just for the record. However, I suppose it depends on whether you want to count deleted comments (in which case, it's actually the 1501th comment).
posted by casu marzu at 2:07 PM on June 15, 2005

ETC

posted by gramschmidt at 2:08 PM on June 15, 2005

WOW, THE
posted by gramschmidt at 2:12 PM on June 15, 2005

VIEW IS
posted by gramschmidt at 2:15 PM on June 15, 2005

GREAT FROM
posted by gramschmidt at 2:17 PM on June 15, 2005

UP HERE.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:19 PM on June 15, 2005

I CAN
posted by gramschmidt at 2:20 PM on June 15, 2005

SEE
posted by gramschmidt at 2:21 PM on June 15, 2005

PAUL
posted by gramschmidt at 2:22 PM on June 15, 2005

BUNYAN'S
posted by gramschmidt at 2:23 PM on June 15, 2005

HOUSE.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:24 PM on June 15, 2005

um, gramschmidt, are you having serious problems with reloading? It took you 12 minutes to post that.
posted by casu marzu at 2:32 PM on June 15, 2005

Mutters angrily about how the thread has devolved. Wistfully recalls the inventiveness of the old 9622 thread.
posted by killdevil at 2:35 PM on June 15, 2005

Well, I'm certainly not at work, with people intermittantly not walking behind me.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:51 PM on June 15, 2005

Because it occurred during one of the darkest periods of my life (while I had NO internet access at work OR at home ), I had ZERO participation in the original 9622 thread.

However, I was the third-or-fourth most prolific contributor to 1142, the MetaMegaThread that preceded 9622 and set the original record that 9622 broke.

So, as a public disservice to all of you, I am going to cut and paste my Greatest Comments from 1142 (TOS) right here:
posted by wendell at 2:56 PM on June 15, 2005

Well, THIS page is certainly 3000+ words.
1000+ of them repetitions of the phrase "It's all good".
I just hope this discussion ends pretty soon by itself or I'm going to have to bring up Hitler.

posted by wendell at 5:14 PM PST on March 29, 2000
posted by wendell at 2:59 PM on June 15, 2005

I asked a serious question. Who here likes pancakes?

I would appreciate some straightforward responses.
posted by killdevil at 3:00 PM on June 15, 2005

Vicious attack upon killdevil as America's True Enemy. Earnest delineation of killdevil as "worse than Godwin".

Calm explanation to killdevil that 9622v1 and 9622v2 are very different beasts, the former arising due to happenstance and fueled by a sense of transgression, and the latter arising due to synchronicity and fueled by pure obstinacy.


posted by gramschmidt at 3:01 PM on June 15, 2005

Brad, don't start getting serious on us NOW!
I'm enjoying the show and enjoying being part of the show, partly as an entertainment in itself, partly as an education in how a self-defining community evolves and how a subset of a subset of a communications media evolves, only occuring at a hyperspeed that makes heads spin and necks ache.
Maybe the Medium is the Message, maybe the Messenger is the Message, maybe Content is King, maybe Content is Crap, maybe I DON'T HAVE THE FOGGIEST IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!
I'll just say it is NOT all good, but IT IS ALL BETTER THAN LATE-NIGHT INFOMERCIALS ON CHANNEL 12.
posted by wendell at 12:23 PM PST on March 30, 2000
posted by wendell at 3:02 PM on June 15, 2005

I'd sure like to see what happens when this thread reaches 100 comments...
posted by wendell at 12:39 PM PST on March 31, 2000

...and I'm willing to do my part...
posted by wendell at 12:40 PM PST on March 31, 2000

...to help make it happen.
posted by wendell at 12:40 PM PST on March 31, 2000

(Historical note: before 1142, no MeFi thread had gone into triple digit comment count - we didn't know... at least, I didn't.)
posted by wendell at 3:04 PM on June 15, 2005

Fair enough. I'm not a pancake person, but, upon occasion, a nice buckwheat pancake or two certainly provides the sustenance necessary to





POST





HUGE





TO





9622v2.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:07 PM on June 15, 2005

Does this mean we're a couple links short of a full weblog? And wouldn't that take the discussion full circle back to what constitutes a full weblog? Or have I just fallen off the end of the end of the internet? Or should I just put the keyboard down and back away from the MetaFilter? (yep, definately time to go outside and play in traffic)
posted by wendell at 2:21 PM PST on March 31, 2000
posted by wendell at 3:08 PM on June 15, 2005

Alas, if RL-intrusions on my spare time and FTP woes hadn't come to pass, you might have been treated to "8888 Words About 44 Webloggers" (with props to The Nails) for my All Fool's Day homage to Ben. But, prithee, is it not all Much Ado About Nothing? [links to own blog, redesigned for April Fools Day in Shakespearean garb for "The Bardlands"]
posted by bradlands at 1:22 PM PST on April 1, 2000

Even without the 8888 Words, BRAD NAILS IT.
posted by wendell at 2:03 PM PST on April 1, 2000
posted by wendell at 3:12 PM on June 15, 2005

Looks like Coyote summed it up....but I got the last post ;-)
posted by tomcosgrave at 5:08 PM PST on April 4, 2000

No you didn't.
posted by Neale at 5:34 PM PST on April 4, 2000

Nope, not even close.
posted by wendell at 6:33 PM PST on April 4, 2000
posted by wendell at 3:13 PM on June 15, 2005

*is deeply disturbed by sperm cube*
posted by raedyn at 3:20 PM on June 15, 2005

I still want the last word. And wendell, I won't let you get there. Call me petty. Call me immature. You know I'll go through with it.
Remember the meta?
posted by Neale at 5:26 PM PST on May 25, 2000

I mean it. I really do.
posted by Neale at 5:30 PM PST on May 25, 2000

It's a challenge I can't ignore. "Yes, it would be meaningless, but what of that?". I quite agree. It would be meaningless. Quite. And immature and selfish for me to try and prevent it. Especially when there are so many against but one.
Ah well. I'm in it for the long haul.
posted by Neale at 7:18 PM PST on May 25, 2000

It's a challenge I can't ignore. "Yes, it would be meaningless, but what of that?". I quite agree. It would be meaningless. Quite. And immature and selfish for me to try and prevent it. Especially when there are so many against but one.
Ah well. I'm in it for the long haul.
posted by Neale at 7:19 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Whoops, double posted that last one. Oh well.
posted by Neale at 7:20 PM PST on May 25, 2000

In this moment of quiet reflection, I wonder if I have too much time on my hands. dangerman claims the new mf thread is a chance to build something meaningful on the web. Is that possible? Could it be that the web is ultimately meaningless, a waste of space by people with too much time on their hands. Is anyone really making money. Does anybody really make art here? Does anyone really care?
posted by Neale at 7:22 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Why am I talking to myself. Oh, that's right.
Vanity.
posted by Neale at 7:23 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Maybe I should just shut down wetlog [name of Neale's own blog] and only post here from now on. It has it's own url.
That's a fucking brilliant idea. MF - home of wetlog.
posted by Neale at 7:25 PM PST on May 25, 2000

I wonder if Matt will mind this little coup. It's only part of the MF whole; maybe my charm and sofistication will add to the ambience around here.
Ah well. Time to start blogging for wetlog.
posted by Neale at 7:28 PM PST on May 25, 2000

wetlog
- insane, inane.
posted by Neale at 7:29 PM PST on May 25, 2000

[the next several comments had links that are mostly now dead and all too much trouble for me to re-link]
Quoth
posted by Neale at 7:30 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Should of got a better lawyer.
posted by Neale at 7:30 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Scary shit. They couldn't give me a call first? Actually, I now have a redesign idea coming on... [via ZZZXYZ]
posted by Neale at 7:32 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Who won? I was sick yesterday... somebody please fill me in.
posted by Neale at 7:34 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Jason K. has plans for an automated content system for kottke.org (check the source and search for the post for May 24 if it's not been posted yet). It's sounds much like part of the random blog that Jason S., Matt K. and I are developing. The race is on!
posted by Neale at 7:56 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Oh shit, they noticed. Damnit. Oh well.
I'll see you all in hell.
posted by Neale at 7:58 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Finally, after many moons, someone has created a Sim "Blair Witch" Movie. Yer my hero, JMH (he also contributed a lot to Sims: The Challenged).
posted by Neale at 8:03 PM PST on May 25, 2000

100 was a challenge. 200 will be a walkover.
posted by Neale at 8:03 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Nick suggested that I replace my hurting brain with a new one. [luckily this didn't update after the Amazon redesign]
posted by Neale at 8:05 PM PST on May 25, 2000

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
posted by wendell at 8:06 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Then you can get close enough to REALLY beat the crap out of 'em.
posted by wendellseviltwin at 8:09 PM PST on May 25, 2000
posted by wendell at 3:25 PM on June 15, 2005

Don't talk about sock puppet accounts unless you talk about the granddaddy of MeFi sock puppets, wendellseviltwin.
posted by wendell at 3:27 PM on June 15, 2005

(yet not at all surprised)

I'm about ready to give up on single sentence posting. Sorry, Cranberry. It just takes too damn long to load each time. *sheds a tear*
posted by raedyn at 3:28 PM on June 15, 2005

re: working for the Man

Interestingly, the filters at work will let me get to all of Mefi, AskMe and MeTa - except the AskMe thread about how to hide a body. I'm not sure why that is the only blocked thread. It strikes me as odd.
posted by raedyn at 3:40 PM on June 15, 2005

Seriously, cranberry, is anyone else having trouble with Gmail?
posted by gramschmidt at 3:43 PM on June 15, 2005

All right, that's enough kids, break it up, break it up. Do your parents know where you are right now? How about if I give them a call, have 'em come down to the station and pick you u... is that alcohol on your breath Neale? How about you Wendell twins? You been buying hooch for little Neale here? You know you're contributing to the deliquency of a minor in doing that, I can run you all in on that....
posted by mathowie at 8:16 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Sorry matt. It's just the enevitable playing itself out early in the life of MF. Better now than when there are 2000 odd members.
2000 members. I know a porno by the same name...
posted by Neale at 8:35 PM PST on May 25, 2000

This is why there needs to be a comments limit on MF. For idiots like me.
posted by Neale at 8:40 PM PST on May 25, 2000

I need to get some lunch. La-dee-da. Ho-hum.
I'm so ashamed.
posted by Neale at 8:42 PM PST on May 25, 2000

Is he gone? Can the rest of us come out now?
posted by wendell at 8:43 PM PST on May 25, 2000
posted by wendell at 3:46 PM on June 15, 2005

raedyn? Gmail woes? killdevil, scourge of 9622v2?
posted by gramschmidt at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2005

**Clocks out.
**Goes home.
**Stops beating his wife.

see y'all tomorrow!!!
posted by Fezboy! at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2005

Well, we made it through the torrid evening, and despite the best efforts of the opposition, and the mighty avalanche of e-mail telling me what a dickhead I am, this thread has come out victorious; still 20 posts ahead. Maybe it'll make it to 200. Maybe it won't. Wendell had it nailed though; to silence me would mean to silence Zeldman as well... and who's gonna do that? (I know matt actually does have the balls to do that, but I gotta say, it's good that all this plays out in the wonder years of MeFi's life; besides, think of all the attention MeFi's been getting over the past days or two).
So. Let's slouch towards Bethlehem. Or something.
posted by Neale at 4:04 PM PST on May 26, 2000

It's Memorial Day weekend... I'm slouching toward San Diego, myself.
posted by wendell at 4:32 PM PST on May 26, 2000

[Did somebody say Slouching toward Bethlehem?]
posted by wendell at 3:49 PM on June 15, 2005

Man I missed that Articlebot thread. I'm spraying my keyboard with beer just plowing through it now (past midnight CET, in case you were wondering). At least that little trainwreck (trainwrecklet?) gives us something to be proud of:

signal: using overblown, 99%-content free rhetoric.

As a proud 9622v2'er, I will settle for no less than 99.8% or better.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:58 PM on June 15, 2005

It's all good.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:59 PM on June 15, 2005

Keep Voting, People.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:00 PM on June 15, 2005

Oh nevermind. Gmail's back up.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:05 PM on June 15, 2005

I like pancakes.
posted by kenko at 4:05 PM on June 15, 2005

See? Screen shot:


posted by gramschmidt at 4:15 PM on June 15, 2005

This just in: Google buys Scratchpad.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:21 PM on June 15, 2005

Notes that THIS MESS has caused her computer to actually freeze and die. Has taken over husband's newer and faster computer for purposes of posting to THIS MESS.

Someone should make a warning : THIS MESS may kill old and slow computers with pre-existing senility issues. In trying to figure out what the hell is going on, the computer will give up the ghost and die. Please. Someone. Think of the iBooks!

THINK!

It's been a sad day without you.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:38 PM on June 15, 2005

raedyn: Hmm. Do you think there are really instances of words in the body hiding thread that are not in any other thread? I can't determine what it would be objecting to.
posted by gramschmidt at 5:46 PM on June 15, 2005

Welcome back, Grapefruitmoon!

In honor of your trauma, I hereby vote for S!
posted by Nice Donkey at 6:00 PM on June 15, 2005

Scratches Nice Donkey behind ears, gives him more acid-laced sugar cubes.

THE LONGBOAT WILL TRIUMPH!

Oh, and welcome back, grapefruitmoon!
posted by languagehat at 6:06 PM on June 15, 2005

Wait, is Nice Donkey a he donkey or a she donkey?

And would the answer make kenko's sodomy more or less objectionable?
posted by gramschmidt at 6:19 PM on June 15, 2005

Ooh, everybody vote on whether I'm a he or a she donkey!
posted by Nice Donkey at 6:35 PM on June 15, 2005

Goodnewsfortheinsane, can you run two elections at once?
posted by Nice Donkey at 6:37 PM on June 15, 2005

What if the result of the vote tallywhacking is the opposite of current reality, Nice Donkey? Do we get to redistrict Texas, if you know what I mean?

*sharpens implements*
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:47 PM on June 15, 2005

mmmm, pancakes at a Denny's in Oklahoma
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:49 PM on June 15, 2005

She!

(No reason, just a hunch.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:50 PM on June 15, 2005

We're just assigning gender here, I think, which doesn't
necessarily require matching biological organs, right? I dunno, is this a matter better settled in court?

*Goes out to plow the fields. Brays goodbye for now.*
posted by Nice Donkey at 6:53 PM on June 15, 2005

It really is a nice donkey, isn't it? Seemingly unflusterable.

Maybe this shit will piss it off.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:04 PM on June 15, 2005

Posts vague comment perhaps suggesting the donkey gets her grove on to Veggie Tales tunes in a non-christian way....
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:10 PM on June 15, 2005

...in Iceland.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:12 PM on June 15, 2005

sock puppet, sock puppet
rah rah rah
hand up its backside
sis boom bah

long boat, long boat
stroke stroke stroke
ninety six v2
go go GOAT!
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:21 PM on June 15, 2005

Post noting that she lost track of time and has to go to bed now and possibly get up in two hours.

Takes odds of her actually getting up in aforementioned two hours... any takers?

(For the curious : My husband is going to pick a friend up from the airport and has requested my presence, but I am not required in any way to go.

The nerve of "friends" to arrive at 630.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:51 PM on June 15, 2005

Stomps hoof angrily at "this shit". Returns to THIS MESS to calm down.
posted by Nice Donkey at 8:52 PM on June 15, 2005

Zombo!
posted by geekyguy at 8:59 PM on June 15, 2005

Observation that grapefuitmoon is a nice person who has access to sugarcubes, and who is not stingy with them. Second observation that poster is quickly developing a taste for the kind of sugarcubes languagehat has, though.
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:00 PM on June 15, 2005

Wager that grapefuitmoon will most likely not be waking up in two hours. Maybe if her husband promises sugarcubes...
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:05 PM on June 15, 2005

Zombo! I think I mixed up the grapefruitmoon kind with the languagehat kind! Whoa. Whoa.
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:10 PM on June 15, 2005

posted by killdevil at 9:37 PM on June 15, 2005

I tried to click [GO]
posted by geekyguy at 9:45 PM on June 15, 2005

Post pointing out that the poster enjoys pigs in a blanket but hasn't eaten them since he started his diet. Also, the poster wonders if Chota went to UWM ever?
posted by drezdn at 10:10 PM on June 15, 2005

Poster tries to pass "GO". Does not collect $200.
posted by wendell at 10:38 PM on June 15, 2005

Asks gramschmidt for update re: world domination.
posted by kenko at 10:38 PM on June 15, 2005

Well met, said an old true love
Well met, well met said he
I'm just returning from the salt salt sea
And it's all for the love of thee.

Come in, come in my old true love
And have a seat with me
It's been three-fourths of a long long year
Since together we have been.

Well I cain't come in nor I cain't sit down
For I haven't but a moment's time
They say you're married to a housecarpenter
And your heart will never be mine.

Yes I could have married the king's daughter [dear?]
I'm sure she'd'a married me
But I've forsaken her crowns of gold
And it's all for the love of thee.

Now will you forsaken your housecarpenter?
And go along with me?
I'll take you where the grass grows green
On the banks of the deep blue sea.

She picked up her little babe
And kisses gave him three
Says stay right my darling little babe
And keep your papa company

Well they hadn't been on ship but about two weeks
I'm sure it was not three
Till his true love began to weep and mourn
And to grieve most bitterly

Says are you weepin' for my silver or my gold
Says are you weepin' for my store[?]
Are you weepin' for that housecarpenter
Whose face you'll never see anymore.

No I'm not weepin' for your silver or your gold
Or neither for your store
I am weepin' for my darling little babe
Whose face I'll never see anymore.

Well they hadn't been on ship but about three weeks
I'm sure it was not four
Till they sprung a leak in the bottom of the ship
And it sunken for to rise no more.

---

States his preference for the version that has the lines "they hadn't been at sea a week, a week / a week but barely three / when drumlie grew his countenance / and dismal grew his ee" and "He strack the top-mast wi' his hand / the foremast wi' his knee / and brake that gallant ship in twain / and sunk her in the sea", and is also more explicit about the denial of heaven (which is apparently in Italy) and gaining of hell.
posted by kenko at 10:52 PM on June 15, 2005

finishes list, has copies made at kenko's store. What? oh. sorry
posted by Cranberry at 11:42 PM on June 15, 2005

admires matt's baby's red hat
posted by Cranberry at 11:44 PM on June 15, 2005

wonders how matt's baby's dad can possibly put up with juvenile behavior and flame wars
posted by Cranberry at 11:46 PM on June 15, 2005

blushes. realizes adding to THIS MESS is juvenile behavior
posted by Cranberry at 11:48 PM on June 15, 2005

Post wondering whether size of dog really matters.
posted by bigbigdog at 11:49 PM on June 15, 2005

makes first post of bloomsday
posted by Cranberry at 12:16 AM on June 16, 2005

consoles bigbigdog. points out that no one has threatened to sugar infuse or shelf stabilize him/her regardless of dimensions.
posted by Cranberry at 12:20 AM on June 16, 2005

Poster returns to THIS MESS after venturing out to other parts of Mefi and realise that this party is currently the sanest and safest place to be.

Even if I don't get my babysitter.
posted by qwerty155 at 4:20 AM on June 16, 2005

Post noting that she did not get up two hours later, but rather, stayed awake until five and went to sleep as her husband ran off to the airport. Got up again when he returned with houseguest.

No sugar cubes, but he did bring pastry.

No other point.

*hands sugar cubes to Nice Donkey.*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:54 AM on June 16, 2005

Crosses fingers against another connectivity problem.

Rows to war in trireme.
posted by kenko at 7:38 AM on June 16, 2005

Notes four-hour gap between Cranbery's and qwerty155's last posts. Grows concerned.
posted by kenko at 7:44 AM on June 16, 2005

Hmm. Big gap. Where's a bigbigdog when you need one?
posted by gramschmidt at 7:49 AM on June 16, 2005

A thread with a bigbigdog and a Nice Donkey should have no trouble maintaining momentum, even without an overarching ethos or thrust.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:51 AM on June 16, 2005

Notes that Nice Donkey hasn't been heard from in hours. Grows concerned. Wonders if he shouldn't have laced those sugar cubes quite so freely.
posted by languagehat at 7:53 AM on June 16, 2005

Hey man, lend me a dollar.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:53 AM on June 16, 2005

No, seriously, lend me a dollar, just a dollar.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:54 AM on June 16, 2005

What the fuck, man? I totally lent you a dollar the other day!
posted by gramschmidt at 7:55 AM on June 16, 2005

No, it was a whole dollar! You wanted a soda or something! Damn!
posted by gramschmidt at 7:57 AM on June 16, 2005

God, you always do shit like this! You can't just be, like, a regular guy! A just want a fucking dollar! I know I gave you one a couple days or weeks ago or something! It's what real friends do! It should be, like, no big deal.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:59 AM on June 16, 2005

Fine, just fucking forget it. Asshole.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:00 AM on June 16, 2005

Whoa, why are you invading my personal space like this? Huh? What's going on? Beat it, freak! I cast thee OUT!
posted by gramschmidt at 8:02 AM on June 16, 2005

Listen, I just -- stop it -- I just wanted to buy you a plastic rose from the gas station! Why? Because that's the kind of stupid stuff friends do!





ASSHOLE!
posted by gramschmidt at 8:08 AM on June 16, 2005

[10397] The superior, the very reverend John Conmee S.J. reset his smooth
[10398] watch in his interior pocket as he came down the presbytery steps. Five to
[10399] three. Just nice time to walk to Artane. What was that boy's name again?
[10400] Dignam. Yes. VERE DIGNUM ET IUSTUM EST. Brother Swan was the person to
[10401] see. Mr Cunningham's letter. Yes. Oblige him, if possible. Good practical
[10402] catholic: useful at mission time.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:09 AM on June 16, 2005

Oh loathsome crawling thing
Be done with your minuscule affairs
Oh hungry creeping speck
I release you from your cares

Begone.

Roach!


You--live--on--carrion--that's outrageous
You're--probably contagious
Blind, crippled and half squashed
And yet you carry on

Your persistence--is disgusting
I could--never find myself trusting
A creature that would rather live in the trash
Than in the lawn

Cockroach, your problems are not mine
I love life but with you I draw the line
Not to flaunt my superior design
But next to you, I'm practically divine

Cockroach your problems are not mine
posted by kenko at 9:09 AM on June 16, 2005

re: working for the man
Hmm. Do you think there are really instances of words in the body hiding thread that are not in any other thread? I can't determine what it would be objecting to. - gramschmidt

Well it isn't really a "filter". It's a blacklist that actual people create. The topics blocked are:
- Adult/Sexually Explicit
- Criminal Skills
- Drugs, Alcohol & Tobacco
- Gambling
- Hacking
- Hate
- Personals and Dating
- Remote Proxies
- Sex Education
- Violence/Offensive
- Weapons
- Web-based E-mail

It's smart enough that I wouldn't be blocked from a page simply because it used the word 'porn' but if it was an actual porn page that used the non-word 'pr0n' instead, it would be blocked. And they're remarkably responsive. Yahoo, Hotmail, Gmail, etc are all blocked. But once I was able to check my local ISP e-mail address through the web interface here at work. The next day it was blocked. Apparently if we can make a business case as to why, we can get sites unblocked. But I haven't been able to figure out a business reason for needing to read the body-hiding thread.

I'm guessing their objection is the Criminal Activity part of the discussion. Like, all of it. =)

I hope this comment doesn't get eaten by the Jrun monster again.
posted by raedyn at 9:22 AM on June 16, 2005

I'm glad you mentioned this, raedyn, because I was just about to post whole sections of The Anarchist Cookbook and instructions on how to expand a white slavery business into a drug smuggling and snuff film producing international conglomerate. I would hate for this page to be blocked from your view.

But I suppose everyone here already has a copy of the AC and knows how to expand a business, so it would have been superfluous and irrational anyway.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:04 AM on June 16, 2005

I'm sorry you haven't been able to enjoy pigs in a blanket, drezdn. Maybe you could enjoy this pug in a blanket, instead.

posted by Nice Donkey at 10:18 AM on June 16, 2005

So, umm, they doesn't have any problem with this page?

I feel the Stat of the Day coming on!

Here you go:

• cock appears 7 times
• cunt appears 1 time (variant cuntface)
• dick appears 3 times (variant dickhead)
• fuck appears 60 times (inc. variations clusterfuck, fucked, fucker, fuckin', fucking, fuckwads, fuckwit, motherfucker, motherfuckin', starfucker, and wendellfuckwitcom)
• pussy appears 2 times (inc. variant babypussy)
• shit appears 22 times (inc. variations shithole, shitlist, shite)

Not to mention the various comments about prostitution, masturbation, oral sex, vomit, drunkenness, bestiality, spermcube, timecube, goatse, guns, illicit transport of fissile materials, and (shudder) rampant abuse of the BLINK and MARQUEE tags.

Well, at least they're able to protect you from your email.
posted by casu marzu at 10:24 AM on June 16, 2005

Not to mention the various comments about prostitution, masturbation, oral sex, vomit, drunkenness, bestiality, spermcube, timecube, goatse, guns, illicit transport of fissile materials, and (shudder) rampant abuse of the BLINK and MARQUEE tags.

That's the most beautifulist thing I have ever read.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:54 AM on June 16, 2005

You look different every time
You come from the foam-crested brine
It's your skin, shining softly in the moonlight
Partly fish, partly porpoise
Partly baby sperm whale
Am I yours? Are you mine
To play with?

Joking apart, when you're drunk, you're terrific
When you're drunk I like you mostly late at night
But I can't understand the different you in the morning
When it's time to play
At being human for a while.
Please smile.

You'll be different in the spring.
I know you're a seasonal beast
Like the starfish that drifts in with the tide, with the tide
So until your blood runs
To meet the next full moon
Your madness fits in nicely with my own, with my own
Your lunacy fits neatly with my own.
posted by kenko at 11:31 AM on June 16, 2005

Votes for "cockroach" to be ugliest thing ever read
(regrets lack of skill to produce"cockroach" in those wiggly letters that denote frisson of fear/revulsion)
Thanks lucky stars for no cockroaches, only expensive carpenter ants whined about elsewhere
posted by Cranberry at 11:36 AM on June 16, 2005

You're late, guys!

Looking at the commenting trends over the last ten days, there is a pretty clear pattern emerging. It starts to pick up right around now, and then gradually increases, reaching its peak rate between 6 and 10 hours from now, around 8PM PST. (Yes, I actually graphed it)

But there's been very little activity this morning. Disturbing. Hopefully it's just off by an hour or two.
posted by casu marzu at 11:41 AM on June 16, 2005

Hands Gramschmidt a dollar in hopes that he will post some more absurd non sequiturs.
posted by Nice Donkey at 11:53 AM on June 16, 2005

Yes, I actually graphed it.

Phwor!! C'mon, let's see your graph!

(I was hoping to make that sound suggestive.

I don't think it really worked.)
posted by qwerty155 at 12:19 PM on June 16, 2005

Observation that design meetings suck ass and can last hours longer than scheduled.
posted by Fezboy! at 12:43 PM on June 16, 2005

Amber alert issued for yhbc who was last seen chewing some gum of questionable taste and origin nearly three days ago.

Motives of those handing out laced sugar cubes questioned. Cavity search for If I Had An Anus requested.
posted by Fezboy! at 12:59 PM on June 16, 2005

Sees 100-comments-to-victory mark approaching, writes first draft of celebratory speech.

"My fellow Pelicans..."
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:16 PM on June 16, 2005

percentage of total posts by hour.

0:00 2.2%
1:00 0.8%
2:00 1.5%
3:00 1.7%
4:00 1.8%
5:00 2.0%
6:00 2.6%
7:00 2.9%
8:00 3.4%
9:00 5.0%
10:00 4.0%
11:00 4.7%
12:00 5.8%
13:00 6.0%
14:00 6.9%
15:00 7.6%
16:00 7.6%
17:00 6.5%
18:00 3.5%
19:00 6.1%
20:00 3.5%
21:00 5.2%
22:00 4.3%
23:00 3.2%

Hmm. The peak is somewhat earlier than where I figured it from the other graph. Even more worrisome.

Yep. Way down:

Day 0 315 posts
Day 1 219 posts
Day 2 204 posts
Day 3 172 posts
Day 4 109 posts
Day 5 94 posts
Day 6 89 posts
Day 7 199 posts
Day 8 150 posts
Day 9 64 posts

(Note that each day starts at 5:21PM PST, in order to make these into neat 24-hour intervals).

On the other hand, this is still in line with my prediction from two days ago.
posted by casu marzu at 1:21 PM on June 16, 2005

Starts to feel really bad about Nice Donkey. Forgetfully pops one of his own sugar cubes, suddenly has other problems.

...Where did all these pelicans come from?

...Get these pelicans off me!
posted by languagehat at 1:27 PM on June 16, 2005

Yes, I actually graphed it.

Phwor!! C'mon, let's see your graph

qwerty, perhaps if you offered to show casu your graph?
posted by Cranberry at 1:27 PM on June 16, 2005

runs to help languagehat. watches as pelicans swoop him up in their giant beaks. *cries*
posted by Cranberry at 1:30 PM on June 16, 2005

makes notes. discovers abduction possible by figments of languagehat's um, medicated imagination. now reconsiders area 51.
posted by Cranberry at 1:34 PM on June 16, 2005

wonders if casu lives in area 51. all those numbers...the graphs...the statistics...the almond-eyed aliens...the bright lights...
posted by Cranberry at 1:37 PM on June 16, 2005

Actually: "My fellow Pelicans..."
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:41 PM on June 16, 2005

checks casu marzu's profile. sees total lack of data. wonders if s/he is from distant galaxy. wonders if s/he feared roasting by mefites opposed to intergalactic travel.
posted by Cranberry at 1:45 PM on June 16, 2005

Tries to bite random pelicans to see if they have any information on area 51.
posted by Nice Donkey at 1:53 PM on June 16, 2005

thanks gnfti for link to pelican speech. wonders if lfuture would be brighter if pelicans took Dumbya instead of languagehat. hope they return 'hat. perhaps they are just checking him? checking hat? never mind
posted by Cranberry at 1:55 PM on June 16, 2005

Well, now you know the truth. I don't actually exist. You've been talking to yourself the whole time.

Here's another fun fact for you: the average time between comments starts to decrease as the number of comments approaches a number divisible by zero. I hypothesize that this is because people put in an extra effort to push the thread towards each successive milestone.
posted by casu marzu at 1:56 PM on June 16, 2005

Just felt an earthquake! Seriously! (In California.)

Wonders if it's payback from the pelicans. Decides the pelicans have too much power.
posted by Nice Donkey at 1:58 PM on June 16, 2005

glad donkey is not elephant. appreciates effort to interrogate pelicans.
On preview, sees casu cofesses to not existing! divides casu by zero
posted by Cranberry at 2:00 PM on June 16, 2005

confesses.
posted by Cranberry at 2:02 PM on June 16, 2005

the average time between comments starts to decrease as the number of comments approaches a number divisible by zero.

I first thought this was math fun, but now I'm thinking maybe you intended to say "divisible by 100"? Cause that would make some sense.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:05 PM on June 16, 2005

no offense to nice donkey, but wants pony. wishes every preview and post did not flip the whole thread back to beginning! thread now in 11th day my phone is ringing
posted by Cranberry at 2:05 PM on June 16, 2005

nice donkey, you too? my ex and i were in an elevator!

I started to sing "I feel the earth. move. under my feet."
posted by schyler523 at 2:09 PM on June 16, 2005

Hmmm. Yep, that's what it was.

> casu_marzubot

Error: Illegal division by zero.
posted by casu marzu at 2:12 PM on June 16, 2005

Admition of clever plan to sneak in just before thread closes on July 6 to garner last comment, robbing wendell of his rightful claim.

promptly loses The Game again. ponders cosmic connection between this post and the most recent defeat.
posted by Fezboy! at 2:12 PM on June 16, 2005

wishes every preview and post did not flip the whole thread back to beginning!

yes?

what.
posted by casu marzu at 2:14 PM on June 16, 2005

*looks at dates*

...and this came from where?
posted by casu marzu at 2:15 PM on June 16, 2005

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!

We
have
a
winner.
posted by casu marzu at 2:15 PM on June 16, 2005

Fezboy lost The Game. Fezboy lost The Game. oh rats, so did everyone else. hopes cockroaches infest Fezboy
posted by Cranberry at 2:18 PM on June 16, 2005

ding ding hopes casu explains winner ding ding
posted by Cranberry at 2:20 PM on June 16, 2005

a number divisible by zero

Ah-ha, in the limit, this is an infinite number of comments! Huzzah! Infinity or bust! Hey, what about Bloomsday?
posted by gramschmidt at 2:23 PM on June 16, 2005

Whoa, I've always thought an elevator or a mine shaft would be the worst places a person could be during an earthquake. Schyler523, you've survived one of my worst nightmares!

But I think the more important question is: what were you doing in an elevator with your ex?
posted by Nice Donkey at 2:24 PM on June 16, 2005

Oh no! Because of casu we have 1,726 comments to go before we break the old record!
posted by Nice Donkey at 2:25 PM on June 16, 2005

I claim the movie rights to schyler523's story for my and my heirs.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:26 PM on June 16, 2005

*Me* and my heirs. Also, if cockroaches are going to infest Fezboy, let's hope it won't be thru his BIOS.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:28 PM on June 16, 2005

Is this Groundhog Thread?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:29 PM on June 16, 2005

wonders at propriety of nice donkey's question. wonders at propriety of skyler523's answer.
posted by Cranberry at 2:30 PM on June 16, 2005

To infinity, and beyond!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:31 PM on June 16, 2005

modestly admits making first post of Bloomsday.
posted by Cranberry at 2:32 PM on June 16, 2005

makes first post of bloomsday
posted by Cranberry at 12:16 AM PST on June 16
posted by Cranberry at 2:34 PM on June 16, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:36 PM on June 16, 2005

Momentarily confused THIS MESS with GossipFilter. My bad.
posted by Nice Donkey at 2:36 PM on June 16, 2005

**heart explodes in chest, muffled "thump" heard across hall startles coworker with excellent hearing**
posted by kenko at 2:39 PM on June 16, 2005

Apologies, cranberry. I wasn't trying to steal thine thunder. Total and full props/kudos/credit/gold stars go to cranberry for even reminding me that today is today.



Stately,




plump




Buck




Cranberry







posted by gramschmidt at 2:42 PM on June 16, 2005

Belated notice that this thread overtook 1142 about 40 comments ago, and is now in sole possession of second place.
posted by casu marzu at 2:47 PM on June 16, 2005

I appreciate your thoughtfulness, gramschmidt. I may not be the most prolific poster in THIS MESS, unlike some people we know *clears thoat* ... however, I would be sad to lose contact with the beauty that is contained here.

Particularly the:
cock, cunt(variant cuntface), dick(variant dickhead), fuck (inc. variations clusterfuck, fucked, fucker, fuckin', fucking, fuckwads, fuckwit, motherfucker, motherfuckin', starfucker, and wendellfuckwitcom), pussy (inc. variant babypussy), shit (inc. variations shithole, shitlist, shite),

Not to mention the various comments about prostitution, masturbation, oral sex, vomit, drunkenness, bestiality, spermcube, timecube, goatse, guns, illicit transport of fissile materials, and (shudder) rampant abuse of the BLINK and MARQUEE tags.

(thank you to casu marzu for the eloquent summary of THIS MESS)

Nope. Still not blocked. I'm allowed to see all this stuff, but they block Planned Parenthood. I can't grok that logic.
posted by raedyn at 2:53 PM on June 16, 2005

-- Come up,




kenko!




Come up,




you




fearful




jesuit!
posted by gramschmidt at 2:53 PM on June 16, 2005

So did the other legendary threads also degerenate into a half dozen persistent commentors? Or was there more widespread community involvement?
posted by raedyn at 2:56 PM on June 16, 2005

Planned Parenthood encourages rational thought, thought that may induce private citizens to decide to facilitate the removal of tiny groups of cells that might potentially grow into capitalist republican taxpayers. Duh.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:59 PM on June 16, 2005

I'm not clever enough to come up with several sequential non-sequitor posts in order to superfluously increase the comment count. Therefore, I must actually try to have conversations instead.
posted by raedyn at 3:00 PM on June 16, 2005

Except for that one time, in #mefi, when everyone else could see my comments, but my web-based Java IRC connections was screwed up and I didn't know they were responding and I did various silly things that they were all witness too... *turns bright red* Normally I don't embarrass very easily, but that was pretty outta control.
posted by raedyn at 3:01 PM on June 16, 2005

Curt denouncement of gramschmidt as troll.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:03 PM on June 16, 2005

Rapid imploring of gramschmidt to stop excreting polarizing, partisan vitriol into 9622v2.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:04 PM on June 16, 2005

Planned Parenthood encourages rational thought, thought that may induce private citizens to decide to facilitate the removal of tiny groups of cells that might potentially grow into capitalist republican taxpayers. Duh.- gramschmidt

Well normally, yeah. But I'm writing from the home of Tommy Douglas and universal health care. Not a lot of Republicans around here. (seeing as how it's Canada and all)
posted by raedyn at 3:06 PM on June 16, 2005

Vicious suggestion that perhaps gramschmidt's mother should have consulted Planned Parenthood, thus pre-empting his ability to post to 9622v2.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:07 PM on June 16, 2005

I wonder at this point, if something in this thread were to get flagged, would Matt even look at it? What if it were flagged multiple times? My guess is no. He never did respond to the flags and IMs about the goatse medly that used to reside here. Eventually jessamyn helpfully assissted us in that. But my guess is that Matt thinks it's better to leave us alone.

But that's all purely conjecture.
posted by raedyn at 3:09 PM on June 16, 2005

Not a lot of Republicans around here.

Supplicatory apology to raedyn for misusing her comments and position as a springboard for his irritating nonsense.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:09 PM on June 16, 2005

Amber alert issued for yhbc who was last seen chewing some gum of questionable taste and origin nearly three days ago.

Admition of clever plan to sneak in just before thread closes on July 6 to garner last comment, robbing wendell of his rightful claim.

Damn you Fezboy!! I was hiding behind the pool table plotting the same clever plan!

Now I have to think of an even more clever plan . . .
posted by yhbc at 3:10 PM on June 16, 2005

would Matt even look at it?

I don't know. I wonder if yesterday's witty/dios/bshort/AlexReynolds imbroglio has put him more on guard, or exasperated him to the point of not caring?
posted by gramschmidt at 3:13 PM on June 16, 2005

Mildly amusing Planned Parenthood anecdote:

When I was pregnant with my first (and so far only) child, I went to Planned Parenthood for some resources for "I'm going to have a baby, now what do I do". And they didn't really have anything prepared. I thought that was funny. They did suggest some places I could go, but it amused me that Planned Parenthood didn't have a lot of resources on... parenthood.
posted by raedyn at 3:15 PM on June 16, 2005

Interesting story, raedyn.

Has no amusing anecdotes to share at this time, but would like to offer puffins... we don't have any pelicans around here, but we've got lots of puffins...
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:23 PM on June 16, 2005

So did the other legendary threads also degerenate into a half dozen persistent commentors? Or was there more widespread community involvement?

The distribution of comments in those threads follows a distribution similar to this one (i.e. Zipf).

Here is the distribution for 1142 (149 users):

282 Neale
214 daveadams
87 thirteen
81 cCranium
70 iceberg273
70 bradlands
69 Avogadro
53 norm
47 Skot
39 redfoxtail
38 gluechunk
25 CrazyUncleJoe
20 evanizer
20 ColdChef
18 samsara
18 feelinglistless
17 wendell
17 sudama
16 goneill
15 zempf
15 snarkout
14 stavrosthewonderchicken
14 j.edwards
11 sonofsamiam
11 mathowie
11 ebarker
11 anildash
10 Lirp
10 Kafkaesque
9 youhas
9 MUD
9 lia
8 TacoConsumer
7 thewittyname
7 jpoulos
7 chaz
6 eyeballkid
5 werty
5 red scare
5 MiguelCardoso
5 Mahogne
5 lagado
5 kathryn
5 jason
5 dan_of_brainlog
5 christian
5 benbrown
5 anapestic
4 tj
4 Steven Den Beste
4 starvingartist
4 smt
4 Sean Meade
4 rorschach
4 MarkAnd
4 J. R. Hughto
4 dong_resin
4 brig
3 ZachsMind
3 riffola
3 register
3 jacobw
3 EngineBeak
3 dhartung
3 dangerman
3 corpse
3 bjgeiger
3 adam
3 Aaaugh!
2 ZippityBOP
2 Zippity Bop™
2 yhbc
2 wendellseviltwin
2 webmutant
2 tomcosgrave
2 sylloge
2 Succa
2 southisup
2 schlyer
2 Sapphireblue
2 rory
2 Markb
2 ljromanoff
2 jbushnell
2 harmful
2 frykitty
2 fidelity
2 dogmatic
2 cashmein
2 brent
2 anitar
2 aaron
1 Zippity BOT
1 waxpancake
1 timothompson
1 timewarp
1 the_ill_gino
1 stefnet
1 stazen
1 spacecoyote
1 sixfoot6
1 sixdifferentways
1 SelfPostGuy
1 rodii
1 rebeccablood
1 r-boogie
1 rabi
1 prolific
1 precocious
1 Ms Snit
1 mrmorgan
1 mrbula
1 mblandi
1 maura
1 MarkO
1 Lynsey
1 lowkey
1 lotsofno
1 lbergstr
1 juv3nal
1 jonah
1 john
1 jess
1 Jeremy
1 jacksaturn
1 internal
1 Iax
1 holloway
1 holgate
1 gsh
1 grestall
1 gleuschk
1 gi_wrighty
1 fullerine
1 FreezBoy
1 Frasermoo
1 Ezrael
1 donkeymon
1 dchase
1 DBAPaul
1 dash_slot-
1 Cris_W
1 cedar
1 boogah
1 bingo
1 Awol
1 August
1 Apoch
1 annathea

Here is the distribution for 9622 (v1) (183 users):

295 Kafkaesque
162 MiguelCardoso
156 tj
135 kokogiak
124 ColdChef
122 jpoulos
100 eyeballkid
45 mattpfeff
37 yhbc
27 stavrosthewonderchicken
24 signal
22 y2karl
21 j.edwards
20 skyscraper
20 Kino
16 zempf
16 Optamystic
16 nprigoda
12 solistrato
12 goneill
11 rorycberger
11 riffola
11 jonmc
10 transient
10 Shadowkeeper
10 ebarker
8 will
7 jcterminal
6 machaus
6 fuq
6 feelinglistless
6 dong_resin
6 daveadams
6 CrazyUncleJoe
5 thekorruptor
5 otherchaz
5 mrbula
5 Avogadro
5 adampsyche
4 peterbaer
4 o2b
4 Marquis
4 JParker
4 fooljay
4 brookedel
3 y6y6y6
3 UncleFes
3 trox
3 swell
3 skylar
3 MUD
3 iceberg273
3 geoff.
3 evanizer
3 dagny
3 Chief Typist
3 binkin
2 tweebiscuit
2 th3ph17
2 TacoConsumer
2 skallas
2 Satapher
2 remlapm
2 raysmj
2 plemeljr
2 piskycritters
2 ParisParamus
2 Octaviuz
2 mw
2 moss
2 mkn
2 mikel
2 Meta Filter Server
2 joeclark
2 JakeEXTREME
2 hotdoughnutsnow
2 Hackworth
2 fakeplastic
2 donkeysuck
2 davehat
2 darukaru
2 bytecode
2 briank
2 bargle
2 baby buddha
2 anildash
1 zpousman
1 Zettai
1 Whoa!!!!!
1 whatnotever
1 waxpancake
1 wackybrit
1 twos
1 timothompson
1 thomcatspike
1 thirteen
1 thewittyname
1 the_ill_gino
1 tewedle
1 terrapin
1 swerve
1 swerdloff
1 sugarfish
1 sudama
1 SpecialK
1 spandex
1 shinybeast
1 schlomo
1 sawks
1 samsara
1 ryanshepard
1 rschram
1 rio
1 riley370
1 quonsar
1 QuadruplePostGuy
1 precocious
1 pracowity
1 pnevares
1 physics
1 phunkone
1 phichens
1 Perigee
1 OpenTagBoy
1 ookamaka
1 normy
1 mutagen
1 msacheson
1 mr_crash_davis
1 modge
1 mmm
1 mlang
1 Mid
1 Mick
1 meep
1 mediareport
1 mb01
1 Mark
1 madprops
1 Lynsey
1 lucien
1 LookeeThere
1 KevinSkomsvold
1 keli
1 justgary
1 jragon
1 jojomnky
1 Jeremy
1 Iosephus
1 idiolect
1 Huh!
1 hincandenza
1 Hildago
1 Hankins
1 GirlFriday
1 fujikosmurf
1 frykitty
1 fnord_prefect
1 fishfucker
1 epersonae
1 elsar
1 Eep
1 Drowning In In-Jokes
1 donkeymon
1 Dirjy
1 dhartung
1 DBAPaul
1 davidgentle
1 Dagobert
1 crunchland
1 cortex
1 ChaosKitty
1 cell divide
1 bunnyfire
1 BT
1 brownpau
1 bjgeiger
1 bison
1 baby satan
1 azazello
1 argybarg
1 almostcool
1 aladfar

Here is the distribution for 9622 (v2) (151 users):

273 gramschmidt
123 wendell
90 kenko
77 goodnewsfortheinsane
67 jonmc
66 If I Had An Anus
60 Cranberry
57 loquacious
56 grapefruitmoon
53 qwerty155
50 casu marzu
46 Frisbee Girl
40 schyler523
36 drezdn
32 raedyn
32 Fezboy!
25 Nice Donkey
21 scody
20 deborah
19 nobody
17 languagehat
16 geekyguy
15 WolfDaddy
15 longbaugh
14 yhbc
12 Smart Dalek
12 killdevil
12 KevinSkomsvold
11 jokeefe
10 blag
10 bigbigdog
8 Divine_Wino
8 ColdChef
8 arse_hat
7 papercake
7 handee
7 birdsquared
6 y2karl
6 shmegegge
6 Kirth Gerson
6 ericb
6 dios
6 AlexReynolds
5 quonsar
5 Kwantsar
5 jenovus
4 tj
4 thedevildancedlightly
4 Secret Life of Gravy
4 Ryvar
4 naomi
4 john
4 iconomy
4 exlotuseater
4 dial-tone
4 dg
4 Armitage Shanks
4 anapestic
3 underer
3 ubersturm
3 thomcatspike
3 Tarrama
3 orthogonality
3 mediareport
3 me3dia
3 jonson
3 I EAT TAPES
3 C17H19NO3
2 thatweirdguy2
2 sophieblue
2 sciurus
2 rev_crash_davis
2 PhatLobley
2 orange swan
2 mischief
2 Mayor Curley
2 Lynsey
2 LionIndex
2 hototogisu
2 gen
2 Galvatron
2 eyeballkid
2 elwoodwiles
2 dirtynumbangelboy
2 brownpau
2 amberglow
2 adamvasco
1 weston
1 weretable and the undead chairs
1 warbaby
1 tr33hggr
1 tizzie
1 taz
1 stet
1 stavrosthewonderchicken
1 Staggering Jack
1 squirrel
1 Specklet
1 soyjoy
1 sgt.serenity
1 romakimmy
1 robocop is bleeding
1 Quadroonian
1 purplemonkie
1 puke & cry
1 puddinghead
1 PapaLobo
1 OmieWise
1 neckro23
1 mygothlaundry
1 mrmorgan
1 mr.marx
1 mr_crash_davis
1 mrbula
1 moift
1 mexican
1 melissa may
1 matildaben
1 lilboo
1 LarryC
1 keswick
1 Kattullus
1 jessamyn
1 jazon
1 jasper411
1 item
1 i_cola
1 grouse
1 greasy_skillet
1 graventy
1 grateful
1 gd779
1 furiousthought
1 five fresh fish
1 Feisty
1 feelinglistless
1 Ethereal Bligh
1 dhruva
1 dersins
1 darukaru
1 danOstuporStar
1 Colloquial Collision
1 cmonkey
1 ChrisTN
1 chota
1 caution live frogs
1 caddis
1 bonaldi
1 Bdave
1 anastasiav
1 [!]
posted by casu marzu at 3:24 PM on June 16, 2005

*bows down to casu marzu's analyses*
posted by raedyn at 3:31 PM on June 16, 2005

More fun facts!

Here is the list of users that posted in both versions of 9622:

1. brownpau
2. ColdChef
3. darukaru
4. eyeballkid
5. feelinglistless
6. jonmc
7. KevinSkomsvold
8. Lynsey
9. mediareport
10. mrbula
11. mr_crash_davis
12. quonsar
13. stavrosthewonderchicken
14. thomcatspike
15. tj
16. y2karl
17. yhbc

And here is the small inner circle that has posted to both versions of 9622 and 1142 (in other words, those who are about to break the record for the third time:

1. ColdChef
2. eyeballkid
3. feelinglistless
4. Lynsey
5. mrbula
6. stavrosthewonderchicken
7. tj
8. yhbc

WE SALUTE YOU, VETERANS!
posted by casu marzu at 3:32 PM on June 16, 2005 [2 favorites]

Finally stops shaking after 1:53PM PST California Earthquake (epicenter: Yucaipa! I just like saying Yucaipa! Yucaipa!), recently downgraded from 5.3 to 4.9, which leaves it tied in the ratings with "Beauty and the Geek".
posted by wendell at 3:39 PM on June 16, 2005

I deeply regret that, due to lack of internet connectivity at both home and work, I was unable to contribute beyond the 250-comment mark at 1142, or to 9622v1 at all. In fact, anything that reminds me of that particular time of my life makes me very very angry!!!
posted by wendell at 3:43 PM on June 16, 2005

Also, here is the list of folks who posted to 9622 (v1) and 1142, but have not appeared here.

IN MEMORIAM

1. anildash
2. Avogadro
3. bjgeiger
4. CrazyUncleJoe
5. daveadams
6. DBAPaul
7. dhartung
8. dong_resin
9. donkeymon
10. ebarker
11. evanizer
12. frykitty
13. goneill
14. iceberg273
15. j.edwards
16. Jeremy
17. jpoulos
18. Kafkaesque
19. MiguelCardoso
20. MUD
21. precocious
22. riffola
23. samsara
24. sudama
25. TacoConsumer
26. the_ill_gino
27. thewittyname
28. thirteen
29. timothompson
30. waxpancake
31. zempf

/Plays taps. Lowers flag to half mast
posted by casu marzu at 3:43 PM on June 16, 2005

Yay!

(Is that not my line? I've never read it, I'm afraid.)
posted by kenko at 3:47 PM on June 16, 2005

But within the names of the fallen are a donkey and a pancake, so in 9622v2, we remember them.

*weeps gently, waves flag*
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:53 PM on June 16, 2005

This flag, of course:

...this thread needs a flag as well. I'm thinking a donkey at 3/4 profile with a vibrant grey background, the donkey will be riding a longboat. With a flag on the longboat with the number 5 representing the $5 noobs that died so that we may live. Then a quote from Wait's "Down in A Hole" and whatever tagline voted upon at the bottom. Then there will be JRUN thread sewn into the lining to symbolizes he who truly runs this site.
posted by drezdn at 4:46 PM PST on June 14 [!]
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:54 PM on June 16, 2005

notes that this is the first time he has seen a Mefi thread subject to such exhaustive analytics. Wonders whether casu marza is a perl maven, or what?
posted by killdevil at 3:57 PM on June 16, 2005

And now for 9622's daily Moment Of Zen:


posted by killdevil at 3:58 PM on June 16, 2005

I used to be a decent perl hacker. That is, until I saw killdevil's last post.

Now I'm blind.
posted by casu marzu at 4:04 PM on June 16, 2005

NiceDonkey: Well, start here or here and then I'll explain that she is my best (and only) friend in LA...I was in the elevator with her because i don't leave LA until Wednesday, so we still live together...

It was my first earthquake!
posted by schyler523 at 4:11 PM on June 16, 2005

Still living with her must have an pretty high suck magnitude.
posted by kenko at 4:16 PM on June 16, 2005

Now I consider myself one of those bleeding heart librul types. I have a problem with bigotry across the board. But this evening whilst indulging in a couple of low alchohol lagers at my local public house I was astonished, nay mortified to realise the extent of Revel bigotry that exists in the UK. I've had to listen to peanutrevelists, coffeerevelists, toffeerevelists and, worst of all: raisinrevelists.

When is the hatred and bigotry going to end?
And, what can we, as a community do about it?
posted by qwerty155 at 4:19 PM on June 16, 2005

Ach. Truly a bad question. Many apologies.

On the plus side, earthquakes are scary and cool (when they don't hurt anyone), and I am glad you felt it, too! (And that it wasn't just acid/sugar flashbacks for me.)
posted by Nice Donkey at 4:20 PM on June 16, 2005

Oh no! I think my earlier fretting must have worried killdevil!

I'm sorry, killdevil! It looks like we're actually going to make our quota for Day 9 after all!

Day 0 315 comments Day 1: 219 comments Day 2: 204 comments Day 3: 172 comments Day 4: 109 comments Day 5: 94 comments Day 6: 89 comments Day 7: 199 comments Day 8: 150 comments Day 9: 135 comments

posted by casu marzu at 4:22 PM on June 16, 2005

I don't know. I wonder if yesterday's witty/dios/bshort/AlexReynolds imbroglio has put him more on guard, or exasperated him to the point of not caring?

Does that mean whilst drunk I get to suggest that *namedeletedbyoster* really pisses me off and (in a non-sexual way) really gets on my tits without retribution?
posted by qwerty155 at 4:26 PM on June 16, 2005

Waves at amberglow.
posted by casu marzu at 4:31 PM on June 16, 2005

My work here is done. For now.
posted by killdevil at 4:50 PM on June 16, 2005

Ooh. Shiney!

*attempts to see own reflection in the placid surface of Ms. Allen's forehead*
posted by papercake at 4:55 PM on June 16, 2005

posted by Feisty at 5:08 PM on June 16, 2005

Comes down (from pelicans and/or acid), is greatly relieved to see Nice Donkey back safe and sound.

Misses everybody in casa marzu's In Memoriam list, not to mention rodii.

Wait, I just did mention rodii!
posted by languagehat at 5:21 PM on June 16, 2005

"The President, in his discretion, may enter into an agreement
with any person (including the owner or operator of the facility
from which a release or substantial threat of release emanates, or
any other potentially responsible person), to perform any response
action (including any action described in section 9604(b) of this
title) if the President determines that such action will be done
properly by such person. Whenever practicable and in the public
interest, as determined by the President, the President shall act
to facilitate agreements under this section that are in the public
interest and consistent with the National Contingency Plan in order
to expedite effective remedial actions and minimize litigation. If
the President decides not to use the procedures in this section,
the President shall notify in writing potentially responsible
parties at the facility of such decision and the reasons why use of
the procedures is inappropriate. A decision of the President to
use or not to use the procedures in this section is not subject to
judicial review."
posted by Feisty at 5:24 PM on June 16, 2005

kenko writes "Still living with her must have an pretty high suck magnitude."
not at all. it's weird, but this feels better so far than all my other breakups (bar admittedly not set high here.) This time we really are best friends...there still is a faint hope for a change of heart eventually...

**wanders off to drink a bottle of red wine and eat too much indian food**
posted by schyler523 at 5:26 PM on June 16, 2005

Where is there an end of it, the soundless wailing,
The silent withering of autumn flowers
Dropping their petals and remaining motionless;
Where is there and end to the drifting wreckage ...
posted by Quadroonian at 5:37 PM on June 16, 2005

posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:49 PM on June 16, 2005

Poster worries that he, being euroside, will wake up tomorrow with the record-breaking comment already having been made, rendering his prepared speech useless.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:55 PM on June 16, 2005

If this is the next post after gnfti's of 5:55 pm (per my configuration), then it is number seventeen! hundred! Otherwise, it is 1700-something.

One! Seven! Zero! Zero!
posted by kenko at 6:08 PM on June 16, 2005

Alas, poster will probably not be around for 1730 himself, being occupied either in making pie dough or in attending the 9th Annual Empty Bottle Festival of Jazz & Improvised Music (aka "Peter Brötzmann Plays in Various Configurations").
posted by kenko at 6:11 PM on June 16, 2005

Good job, kenko. I'm going to bed. Will y'all promise me to show some restraint as soon as we hit the 1720s?
















Nah, I thought not. Good luck guys!

--On preview: my bottle is empty as well, kenko. Have fun!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:13 PM on June 16, 2005

We'll never reach 1700.
posted by iconomy at 8:33 PM PST on June 6 [!]

Hope iconomy didn't have any money riding on that...
posted by birdsquared at 6:25 PM on June 16, 2005

Landmark posters:
100. KevinSkomsvold
200. casu marzu
300. jonmc
400. mediareport
500. goodnewsfortheinsane
600. geekyguy
700. schyler523
800. loquacious
900. gramschmidt
1000. wendell
1100. kenko
1200. Nice Donkey
1300. wendell
1400. schyler523
1500. wendell
1600. gramschmidt
1700. kenko
posted by kenko at 6:47 PM on June 16, 2005

Dayum, you people have been busy.

Row, row, row this boat
Gently down the screen.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Sugarcubes, our chance to dream.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:54 PM on June 16, 2005

Wonders why the new crowd is going on about donkeys so much, when everyone knows that 9622's are supposed to be about monkeys:



Oh, wait . . .
posted by yhbc at 6:55 PM on June 16, 2005

posted by quonsar at 7:12 PM on June 16, 2005

Since 9622v1, the monkeys moved out. (Some are now at 9622.net, some at monkeyfilter) We need donkeys.

And other beasts of burden.

That's my opinion; you're welcome to your own, but I don't want to hear it.
posted by wendell at 7:27 PM on June 16, 2005

This may be an appropriate time to retrace our steps.

.renniw
a
evah
eW

!GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID GNID
posted by wendell at 7:34 PM on June 16, 2005

?erehw morf emac siht dna...

*setad ta skool*
posted by wendell at 7:35 PM on June 16, 2005

.tahw

?sey
posted by wendell at 7:36 PM on June 16, 2005

.esle enoyreve ot taht evael ll'i ,em morf tnemmoc on .ydorap klatatem
posted by wendell at 7:39 PM on June 16, 2005

*waits patiently for other 9622v2 posters' heads to asplode*
posted by wendell at 7:43 PM on June 16, 2005

*edolpsa ot sdaeh 'sretsop 2v2269 rehto rof yltneitap stiaw*
posted by yhbc at 7:54 PM on June 16, 2005

Wishes he could have quickly sprung a fiver for a new "cbhy" account for that last comment, but isn't going to lose any sleep over it.
posted by yhbc at 7:57 PM on June 16, 2005

I'm not going to bother to register "llednew" either; you can sleep easy, commish.
posted by wendell at 8:09 PM on June 16, 2005

Not to jinx anyhting, but we ARE closing in on 172jrunjrunjrunjrunjrunjrunjrun
posted by wendell at 8:11 PM on June 16, 2005

What?

Are you leaving it to the old three-digit poster to bring it up to the record?
posted by wendell at 8:13 PM on June 16, 2005

Or are you just going to draft off me until the final lap then blow past me like I'm standing still?
posted by wendell at 8:14 PM on June 16, 2005

Where is everybody?
C'mon, you can't all be watching the basketball game... it's a blowout!
posted by wendell at 8:16 PM on June 16, 2005

And that Rob Thomas "This is how your heart breaks" musical crap ABC is using as a theme song is enough to make anybody turn off the TV and go online...
posted by wendell at 8:17 PM on June 16, 2005

I'm assuming all those still paying ttention are USAian, since it's currently 3 in the morning last tuesday in iceland. (I have problems with timezones... it's a kind of jetlag that zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
posted by wendell at 8:19 PM on June 16, 2005

And I still haven't gotten a response to my "Does this thread break MetaFilthy for anybody but me?" question of four days ago...
posted by wendell at 8:21 PM on June 16, 2005

I can see my __________ from here!
posted by wendell at 8:22 PM on June 16, 2005

...because it's 90 feet to first, no matter where home is.
posted by wendell at 8:23 PM on June 16, 2005

Gee, I've run out of things to say.
posted by wendell at 8:24 PM on June 16, 2005

Can't think of a thing.
posted by wendell at 8:25 PM on June 16, 2005

The braindump to blog is complete.
posted by wendell at 8:26 PM on June 16, 2005

Yep, totally empty.

no, no, no Schiavo jokes here
posted by wendell at 8:27 PM on June 16, 2005

Well, it's a good thing I have nothing to say, because obviously nobody's listening.
posted by wendell at 8:28 PM on June 16, 2005

Nope, it's a big empty MetaTalk here...

*echoes*
posted by wendell at 8:29 PM on June 16, 2005

Did kottke or anil declare that MetaFilter isn't cool anymore?

Where is everybody?
posted by wendell at 8:30 PM on June 16, 2005

Wasn't there an episode of "Twilight Zone" like this?
posted by wendell at 8:31 PM on June 16, 2005

And I'm not talking about the one where Burgess Meredith breaks his glasses...
posted by wendell at 8:32 PM on June 16, 2005

I can't believe gramschmidt isn't here... especially the way his personality split two-for-one recently. I mean, it was like gram over here, and schmidt over there...
posted by wendell at 8:34 PM on June 16, 2005

Present.
posted by ColdChef at 8:34 PM on June 16, 2005

1734! Woot!

Hands baton to ColdChef.

Hope he doesn't notice what's all over it.
posted by wendell at 8:36 PM on June 16, 2005

Cool, ColdChef brought presents!
posted by yhbc at 8:40 PM on June 16, 2005

Isn't this when we're supposed to go get chinese food?
posted by yhbc at 8:43 PM on June 16, 2005

Sorry - chinese food.

Raises a glass to missing mr. kafka, esq.
posted by yhbc at 8:51 PM on June 16, 2005

Why not chinese food? We seem to have dug a hole all the way to China...
posted by wendell at 8:52 PM on June 16, 2005

time to color the donkey.
posted by wendell at 8:56 PM on June 16, 2005

yeah, that does sound like a euphemism...
posted by wendell at 8:57 PM on June 16, 2005

*coloUrs the donkey*
posted by raedyn at 9:08 PM on June 16, 2005

*feels dirty*
posted by raedyn at 9:09 PM on June 16, 2005

!edolpxe niarb ym ekam noos lliw gnitsop sdrawkcab siht ,llednew
posted by raedyn at 9:15 PM on June 16, 2005

How does it feel?
posted by gramschmidt at 9:28 PM on June 16, 2005

Huh? To be at the top, I mean.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:28 PM on June 16, 2005

To be part of the special, ruling, common-man elite, a sort of godlike proletariat MetaFilter intelligentsia?
posted by gramschmidt at 9:31 PM on June 16, 2005

14kers obviously have insufficiencies for which they seek to overcompensate, and low-number users have venerability (not to pick on raedyn and wendell), but we all know that true brilliance -- genius, if you will -- transcends user number.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:34 PM on June 16, 2005

True genius emerges from participation.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:36 PM on June 16, 2005

Participation must be selective and worthwhile.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:37 PM on June 16, 2005

As integral members of the 9622v2 contingent, we can rest assured that our selection of this thread, this delectable clusterfuck, in which to participate evidences genius.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:41 PM on June 16, 2005

*music swells, again*

When we go home to our boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, dogs, donkeys, favorite TV shows, Barely 18 magazines, longboats, and custom anal beads, we can be proud that we have contributed to the greatest thread in the history of the Internet, and perhaps the greatest single piece of human correspondence in the history of the world, and we can look our loved ones and things in their eyes and we can say,
posted by gramschmidt at 9:45 PM on June 16, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 9:46 PM on June 16, 2005

Hey, there they are! gram and schmidt!
posted by wendell at 9:46 PM on June 16, 2005

heyy did u guyz read garfeild tuday that cat shor liks lazawnya lol
posted by gramschmidt at 9:49 PM on June 16, 2005

Why not chinese food? We seem to have dug a hole all the way to China...

I may be the only China based contributor to this but be assured, you are visible from here.
posted by geekyguy at 9:50 PM on June 16, 2005

Bee-yaw! Bee-yaw! Everyone into the longboat! Psychedelic sugarcubes for all! We're going for Chinese Food... In China!
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:54 PM on June 16, 2005

So this little boy tells his mom he wants a computer for his birthday.

The mom tells him, "Okay, I'll order one from Dell, but it might take a while to get here."

"That's okay," says the boy. "I'll just call Dell every day until it gets here."

He calls Dell customer support the next day. "Hey Dell, is my computer here yet?"

"Nope," says the rep.

"Do you know when it will arrive?" says the boy.

"Soon," says the rep.

He calls Dell customer support again the second day. "Hey Dell, is my computer here yet?"

"Nope," says the rep.

"Do you know when it will arrive?" says the boy.

"Soon," says the rep.

The boy calls each day for ten days and is always given the same answer. On the eleventh day, exasperated, he calls again.

"Hey Dell, is my computer here yet?"

"Nope," says the rep.

"Do you know when it will arrive?" says the boy.

"Soon," says the rep.

Angry and confused, the boy cries into the phone, "But wen, Dell, wen, dell?"
posted by gramschmidt at 9:57 PM on June 16, 2005

Also, apologies for not being around for 1729. I was indisposed, Bloom and Barnacle.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:19 PM on June 16, 2005

This is great and this sounds great.

Greatness. GREAT! EXTERMINATE!
posted by gramschmidt at 10:53 PM on June 16, 2005

Hey Nice Donkey, I'm kind of tired. Could I have a ride up this next hill?
posted by gramschmidt at 10:54 PM on June 16, 2005

Jim Baker is some piano player, yep.
posted by kenko at 11:02 PM on June 16, 2005

*Gives the Whole Thread RESPECT KNUCKLES*
posted by drezdn at 12:04 AM on June 17, 2005

But my guess is that Matt thinks it's better to leave us alone.

But that's all purely conjecture.
posted by raedyn at 3:09 PM PST on June 16 [!]

fears bandwidth bill is in email
posted by Cranberry at 12:29 AM on June 17, 2005

Where is everybody?
C'mon, you can't all be watching the basketball game... it's a blowout!
posted by wendell at 8:16 PM PST on June 16 [!

watched dreadful game. saw Tim Duncan ALMOST show emotion on face.
posted by Cranberry at 12:43 AM on June 17, 2005

thought Timmy looked like little boy - 7' tall little boy - who was not chosen for team. sad, but not demonstrative.
posted by Cranberry at 12:49 AM on June 17, 2005

Happy Icelandic Independence Day, 9622v2!!

I guess this is like the Fourth of July only with no fireworks, no cheeseburgers, and no watermelon. I feel gipped.

Oh well. Later on I get pastry made out of rice pudding. I must say I prefer cheeseburgers.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:59 AM on June 17, 2005

Notes that current time doesn't matter in Iceland. No matter what time it is, it's daylight! It's bright o'clock!

(Oh yeah, and I'm four hours ahead of the East Coast, seven ahead of the West Coast, and two behind continental Europe. For now. The time zones change in the winter.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:01 AM on June 17, 2005

WELCOME TO THE
2005 METAFILTER SYMPOSIUM ON THREAD LONGEVITY

SPEAKERS:

wendell (Mefi alumnus, honorary doctor of history): "Breaking records without Neale: it can be done"
casu marzu (Thread statistician): "Trends in record thread posting, then and now"
gnfti (Thread historian): "Origins of the 9622v2 flag"
kenko (Thread theologian): "Zen and the art of thread maintenance"
grapefruitmoon (Marine engineer): "Determining whose longboat it actually is"

MC: gramschmidt
CATERING: IIHAA
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:21 AM on June 17, 2005

9622v2 TAGLINE ELECTION FINAL RESULTS

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has been following the thread that the winner is....



















S MetaTalk 9622: That's not MY longboat.
by the delightful GRAPEFRUITMOON!!



*A million balloons appear from nowhere, margaritas are passed all round, the announcer continues with a few background statistics no-one bothers to listen to anyway because of the din of the music blaring from the speakers and the continuous chanting of "Grape! Fruit! Moon!!"*



The final tally:

S (5 votes)
Q (2 votes)
H (1 vote)
T (1 vote)

Votes were cast by IIHAA, grapefruitmoon, cranberry, languagehat, wendell, dial-tone, drezdn, schyler523 and Nice Donkey. Thanks for voting. And remember kids, if ever you're in a sticky situation, just say: "that's not MY longboat!"
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:44 AM on June 17, 2005

pancakes
posted by Otis at 6:06 AM on June 17, 2005

*just now 'got' wendell's crack about his name sounding like a hamburger chain's brother*

*clearly isn't demonstrating genius in this thread*
posted by raedyn at 6:18 AM on June 17, 2005

Grape! Fruit! Moon!
Grape! Fruit! Moon!!
Grape! Fruit! Moon!!!

*hands grapefruitmoon fireworks, cheeseburgers, and watermelon*

Everybody into the longboat!
posted by languagehat at 7:29 AM on June 17, 2005

CATERING: IIHAA

Suddenly I've lost my appetite...
posted by kenko at 7:45 AM on June 17, 2005

wendell's crack

A lesser person would make a joke out of that.

Not me, though.

Nope.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:54 AM on June 17, 2005

Suddenly I've lost my appetite...

You do realise, kenko, that yours was comment #1776, making it the Liberty Comment?

If I were American I'd surely shed a tear.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:57 AM on June 17, 2005

*hops into languagehat's longboat, stands at attention, grasping the mast*

Make whatever jokes you want. I am immune. *sniff*
posted by raedyn at 7:58 AM on June 17, 2005

I came in to see how things were getting on, and got an eyeful of killdevil's Hasselhoff Infinity and Insanity Machine. I don't know if that means I should stay or go?
posted by OmieWise at 8:07 AM on June 17, 2005

                                                                                 MeFi
                                                                                NEWS
                                                                             NETWORK









BREAKING NEWS: grapefruitmoon wins 9622v2 tagline election contest. We are eagerly awaiting her acceptance speech... | In other news: Longboat sales in Iceland and North America up by 15%... | Cow orkery destroyed by raging donkey... Witnesses described the animal as "not very Nice" and suspected that it was hepped up on some wicked mixture of sugar and acid... | Survey shows men without pants less likely to conceal fish... | BREAKING NEWS: grapefruitmoon wins 9622v2 tagline election contest. We are eagerly awaiting her acceptance speech...
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:16 AM on June 17, 2005

Steps back into thread. Notices comment count. Beams. Apologizes for leaving to watch horrible basketball game between Detroit Pistons and some guys from the YMCA.

Now, for the MOST AWESOMEST PART!!!!

For the record, this comment (Well, it's a good thing I have nothing to say, because obviously nobody's listening.) is, appropriately, number 1730. It was made at 8:28PM PST, on June 16, 2005. It broke the record held by 9622, which had been established with the 1729th comment made at 2:32 PM PST on September 20, 2002.

How long had the record been held?





1000 Days, 5 hours, and 56 minutes.





I thought you might like that. I have no numbers words to express my satisfaction. High fives all around.
posted by casu marzu at 8:52 AM on June 17, 2005

Wonders who is going to register donkeyfilter.com?
posted by casu marzu at 8:57 AM on June 17, 2005

FYI, as far as comment number is concerned, we've also surpassed this thread and this thread.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:06 AM on June 17, 2005

Those 6567 folks never knew what hit them.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:09 AM on June 17, 2005

*lets go of mast of languagehat's longboat in order to high-five casu marzu. being a prairie girl, raedyn doesn't have sea legs yet and topples overboard for the effort*
posted by raedyn at 9:10 AM on June 17, 2005

Also this and this.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:12 AM on June 17, 2005

*straightens tie, practices clapping*
posted by drezdn at 9:13 AM on June 17, 2005

Looks out at the rest of MeFi, realizes that it is not nearly as much fun out there as it is in 9622. Feels MeFi posting powers rapidly diminishing. Decides to go out on top.

Requests that those remaining in the longboat spread a little bit of 9622 to the rest of MeFi. They desperately need it out need there. Notes that 9622 posters rock. It's been fun.

Tilts hat. Adjusts pocket protector and slide rule. Rides off into the sunset.
posted by casu marzu at 9:20 AM on June 17, 2005

*life preserver to raedyn*
posted by gramschmidt at 9:24 AM on June 17, 2005

*water bottle and condoms to casu*
posted by gramschmidt at 9:26 AM on June 17, 2005

*grabs life preserver greatfully*

CASU!!!!11!!!1
posted by raedyn at 9:30 AM on June 17, 2005

You mean you were all just using the thread to break a comment-count record, and now you're leaving?
posted by kenko at 9:35 AM on June 17, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 9:46 AM on June 17, 2005

Perhaps my soldier has answered your question?
posted by gramschmidt at 9:55 AM on June 17, 2005

Actually he hasn't, and now I'm even more confused.
posted by kenko at 10:03 AM on June 17, 2005

Whhhhhoooooooooo!

Feels great sense of accomplishment at having the official 9622v.2 tagline.

Sits in the front of the longboat and eats some watermelon in self-satisfaction.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:11 AM on June 17, 2005

Oh wait, you want an acceptance speech? Awww, shucks. I'm not much of an orator.

I'd just like to thank all the little people. And all the longboats. Whether or not they were mine.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:13 AM on June 17, 2005

Anyone know how to clean a crackpipe? Mine's filthy. Soap and hot water, I know, but is there a preferred dishwashing liquid? Are there little scrubbies that are made specifically for this size of receptacle?

Or should I just throw it down a well (like the one that little got stuck in in that Little House on the Prarie episode, remember?) and toss an atom bomb down after it?

Thanks in advance.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:16 AM on June 17, 2005

*deafening applause for the grapefruitmoon*
posted by gramschmidt at 10:18 AM on June 17, 2005

"But wen, Dell, wen, dell?"

Dude, you're getting annoying.

But still, in tribute to the single greatest contributor to this thread (and new challenger to quonsar for 'most disturbing online image collection'):



(And by the way, I was breaking the record while a TV with the basketball game was on in the same room... can't understand why nobody else could...)
posted by wendell at 10:34 AM on June 17, 2005

Alternate 9622v2 taglines:

"We're all in this longboat together."

"Is this something you need a longboat to know about?"

"We have longboats."

"This longboat, it vibrates?"
posted by wendell at 10:38 AM on June 17, 2005

This is all very tiring.
posted by OmieWise at 10:43 AM on June 17, 2005

BREAKING NEWS

I hate to be the bringer of bad news (no, actually, I frequently enjoy it) but there is a thread at MonkeyFilter with 1977 comments (and they don't close threads there). And it's actually a continuation of a long running series of threads that, together, have nearly 5000 entries at MoFi (the long story here... and yes, I am a participant in that one, too.)

So, are we gonna make 1978?
posted by wendell at 10:48 AM on June 17, 2005

Yes, but wendell, we don't care about monkeyfilter threads.
posted by kenko at 10:54 AM on June 17, 2005

I am such a troublemaker.
posted by wendell at 11:02 AM on June 17, 2005

Communique--
TO: kenko
RE: UPDATE - World Domination:

The plans are in place. Operatives standing by. Everyone's waiting for our go ahead. Meet at standard location at standard time. Do not forget your key. I will not forget mine. I will not forget the fucking Alamo. I have distributed protective suits and copies of Dubliners to the major 9622v2 contributors. Those taking a hard line on keeping Ms Mai in Pakistan can be easily found in parliament.
posted by gramschmidt at 11:25 AM on June 17, 2005

What? No cc for wendell? Even after I posted that lovely picture of you?
posted by wendell at 11:29 AM on June 17, 2005

Protective suit donned. Preparations for action made. Audio book version of Dubliners acquired.

"Let's Roll!"
posted by Fezboy! at 11:30 AM on June 17, 2005

This is awesome, by the way. If only Sideways had been a better movie.
posted by gramschmidt at 11:30 AM on June 17, 2005

Sorry, man. It was a response to this. You received your supplies, though, I assume.
posted by gramschmidt at 11:32 AM on June 17, 2005

Hah, first a new border conflict centering around MeTa 9622 / MoFi 5131, and now this! This is an outrage, I tells ya. An outrage!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 11:34 AM on June 17, 2005

congratulates grapefruitmoon. something to tell the granchildren!
notes that gfm in Iceland and qwertyin UK are in same time zone, unless BBC gives false time checks.
misses casu already
leaves to have small, tasteful longboat tattooed on forehead
posted by Cranberry at 11:40 AM on June 17, 2005

And my request for an update was based on this.

Good to hear everything's in order, gramschmidt. Today the Aleutian islands, tomorrow the world!
posted by kenko at 11:44 AM on June 17, 2005

posted by shmegegge at 12:45 PM on June 17, 2005

No, I don't have my supplies. I told to you allow extra time for me to receive meatmail because I have a box at the UPS Store (the last time anybody sent me something where I'm living, my cranky old father opened it and made me explain to him what "MetaFilter" is). If I have to, I'll get my own protective suit (you always get the size wrong anyway).

Cranberry, I thought we were directed to put our longboat tattoos where they cannot be usually seen (I hope you have bangs). Mine shows a little too much when I bend over, but it's not the worst thing that does...
posted by wendell at 12:58 PM on June 17, 2005

Wow. A lot of that crazy video game stuff seems comically mistranslated. I'm going to FPP it.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:01 PM on June 17, 2005

How long do you think the window of opportunity is to FPP something? I'm wanting to make a post on a man recently honoured by a Canadian university, but the honour was a few days ago. I want to mention the honour, but mostly make a post about the man. Do you think it's too late (seeing as the honour is an old news story) or since the post is mostly about about the man, is it still fair game?
posted by raedyn at 1:19 PM on June 17, 2005

wendell is hoping cranberry has bangs, but here I am thinking weren't we all going to shave our heads in honour of our victory?
posted by raedyn at 1:22 PM on June 17, 2005

Hey, let's do this thing again.

1818 comments, 152 commenters.

304. gramschmidt
162. wendell
101. kenko
85. goodnewsfortheinsane
67. If I Had An Anus
67. jonmc
64. Cranberry
61. grapefruitmoon
59. casu marzu
57. loquacious
55. qwerty155
46. Frisbee Girl
43. raedyn
42. schyler523
38. drezdn
33. Fezboy!
29. Nice Donkey
22. yhbc
21. scody
20. deborah
19. languagehat
19. nobody
17. geekyguy
15. WolfDaddy
15. killdevil
15. longbaugh
12. KevinSkomsvold
12. Smart Dalek
11. jokeefe
10. bigbigdog
10. blag
9. ColdChef
8. Divine_Wino
8. arse_hat
8. birdsquared
8. papercake
7. handee
7. shmegegge
6. AlexReynolds
6. Kirth Gerson
6. dios
6. ericb
6. quonsar
6. y2karl
5. Kwantsar
5. jenovus
4. Armitage Shanks
4. Ryvar
4. Secret Life of Gravy
4. anapestic
4. dg
4. dial-tone
4. exlotuseater
4. iconomy
4. john
4. naomi
4. thedevildancedlightly
4. tj
3. C17H19NO3
3. Feisty
3. I EAT TAPES
3. OmieWise
3. Tarrama
3. jonson
3. me3dia
3. mediareport
3. orthogonality
3. thomcatspike
3. ubersturm
3. underer
2. Galvatron
2. LionIndex
2. Lynsey
2. Mayor Curley
2. PhatLobley
2. Quadroonian
2. adamvasco
2. amberglow
2. brownpau
2. dirtynumbangelboy
2. elwoodwiles
2. eyeballkid
2. gen
2. hototogisu
2. mischief
2. orange swan
2. rev_crash_davis
2. sciurus
2. sophieblue
2. thatweirdguy2
1. Bdave
1. ChrisTN
1. Colloquial Collision
1. Ethereal Bligh
1. Kattullus
1. LarryC
1. Otis
1. PapaLobo
1. Specklet
1. Staggering Jack
1. [!]
1. anastasiav
1. bonaldi
1. caddis
1. caution live frogs
1. chota
1. cmonkey
1. danOstuporStar
1. darukaru
1. dersins
1. dhruva
1. feelinglistless
1. five fresh fish
1. furiousthought
1. gd779
1. grateful
1. graventy
1. greasy_skillet
1. grouse
1. i_cola
1. item
1. jasper411
1. jazon
1. jessamyn
1. keswick
1. lilboo
1. matildaben
1. melissa may
1. mexican
1. moift
1. mr.marx
1. mr_crash_davis
1. mrbula
1. mrmorgan
1. mygothlaundry
1. neckro23
1. puddinghead
1. puke & cry
1. purplemonkie
1. robocop is bleeding
1. romakimmy
1. sgt.serenity
1. soyjoy
1. squirrel
1. stavrosthewonderchicken
1. stet
1. taz
1. tizzie
1. tr33hggr
1. warbaby
1. weretable and the undead chairs
1. weston
posted by kenko at 1:27 PM on June 17, 2005

So how is everyone this fine afternoon? I'm doing well, myself.
posted by killdevil at 1:27 PM on June 17, 2005

Feelin' fine.
posted by kenko at 1:30 PM on June 17, 2005

feelin' groovy.
posted by raedyn at 1:38 PM on June 17, 2005

Evening in Europe, can't complain.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:06 PM on June 17, 2005

If the post is about the man, and the honor is peripheral (meaning that there are more links than just the honor link), I vote go. The recent nature of the honor could only enhance the post.

There. I said it.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:11 PM on June 17, 2005

Stolen from dabitch.
posted by kenko at 2:34 PM on June 17, 2005

from the infinite wisdom of gramschmidt. if I get shat on for the post -- it's
ALL.
YOUR.
FAULT.





















(just jokes)






















(unless, of course I do get royally shat upon. then I will blame you.)


















well, probably not. but maybe. it's important to have an escape plan.
posted by raedyn at 2:50 PM on June 17, 2005

gnfti, I think you may have a problem with the email address listed in your profile. The url of the company with whom you have the address leads to a page that contains the following:

Bij ons krijg je gratis een leuk, passend en goed te onthouden emailadres. Als doorzendadres of als popbox met online webmail, wat je maar wilt. We doen er ook nog een website bij die je online kan aanmaken (iedereen kan het). Of kies (betaald) voor ruimte met FTP Een persoonlijke startpagina maakt het af. Allemaal te benaderen met hetzelfde leuke adres dat je er gratis bijkrijgt.

As you can see, these letters are regular old Latin alphabet letters, but they are hopelessly misarranged as to produce gibberish. I suspect that some rascally hacker has been fooling around in the company's MS-DOS FreeBSD Perl Panther Pascal shell-BIOS. If I were you, I'd contact the company.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:07 PM on June 17, 2005

Jesus, raedyn, the pressure. I'm crossing my two largest fingers. Maybe I should chime right in with the first ten posts with "Ooh!" and "Aaah!" and "This, my friends, THIS, is what makes MeFi and getting up in the morning worthwhile" and then a jpeg of Nixon on a unicycle.

It's settled, then.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:14 PM on June 17, 2005

readen, where's your post? MonkeyFilter?
posted by wendell at 3:46 PM on June 17, 2005

Jesus, now there's a lot of pressure on me to make it a good post.

*sweating*

*gets the shakes*
posted by raedyn at 3:47 PM on June 17, 2005

(wendell - it will be on MeFi, but I got distracted by the phone sex AskMe and uhh... my job)

no, really. my job.
posted by raedyn at 3:51 PM on June 17, 2005

now it's posted. my first FPP in a long long time (years, actually) The front page scares me.

I'm counting on ya gramschmidt. *wink*

Here's hoping it doesn't become ugly because it's abortion related. (Might be asking too much, but I'll cope.)
posted by raedyn at 4:20 PM on June 17, 2005

Hmm. You may have summoned bevets, but he's trivial. Excellent post, otherwise.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:47 PM on June 17, 2005

Cranberry, I thought we were directed to put our longboat tattoos where they cannot be usually seen (I hope you have bangs)

reassures wendell: tinfoil hat fits down over forehead; longboat tattoo will not be seen by uninitiated muggles.
muggles? what do you call those who are not mefites?
posted by Cranberry at 5:02 PM on June 17, 2005

Notes that it is only the same time zone in Iceland and the UK in winter. Currently, we're an hour behind.

We don't have daylight savings because we've got no daylight to save.

Anyhoooooo.

I'll never tell where my longboat tattoo is. Not ever. Not for all the cheeseburgers in the world.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:58 PM on June 17, 2005

hopelessly misarranged as to produce gibberish. [...] If I were you, I'd contact the company.

If I were you, I'd learn Dutch.

*whoa! hollers from crowd, murmurs of "he got serrrrrved!"*

Actually, what these guys do is provide e-mail redirecters with common Dutch expressions as domain names. The company's name proper is Moerstaal, as in "spreek je moerstaal" / "speak your mother tongue, already" (liberal translation). My listed address, "paul [at] slaapt.nl" would translate to "paul [at] issleeping.nl", which actually makes sense when you consider that many MeFi members are halfway round the world from me.

It forwards straight to my Hotmail though, don't worry (which is in my profile as well). I'm not going to translate the blurb for you; it's just promotional boilerplate.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:10 PM on June 17, 2005

Oh, don't sweat it raedyn, you're doing a better job than I am. We all get bluefright sometimes, doesn't keep us from posting two-faced cats pro-choice Canadians to the front page though, now does it.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:17 PM on June 17, 2005

grapefruitmoon, you want fries with that?

raeden, good FPP, sorry I could not resist back-trolling the mini-bevets. (Love that cool web kids terminology!!!111juanjuan)

goodnewsfortheinsane, can I get an email address at slaaptsilly.nl?
posted by wendell at 6:19 PM on June 17, 2005

Hi guys. Good work. I just wanted to point out that no witches were ever burned to death in Salem, Mass. They were crushed by heavy stones or hanged. Please keep this in mind when writing FPPs. Thanks for your ability to read my post.
posted by underer at 6:30 PM on June 17, 2005

Jesus.
posted by underer at 6:31 PM on June 17, 2005

How do you do it?
posted by underer at 6:32 PM on June 17, 2005

This takes forever.
posted by underer at 6:33 PM on June 17, 2005

PATIENCE


AND


OBSTINACY,


UNDERER


posted by gramschmidt at 6:41 PM on June 17, 2005

and a


commitment


to lucid,


intelligent


FPPs


posted by gramschmidt at 6:46 PM on June 17, 2005

big props


raedyn;


big tag props


posted by gramschmidt at 6:48 PM on June 17, 2005

*takes BIG tag away from gramschmidt - replaces with BLINK tag - hilarity WILL ensue*
posted by wendell at 7:34 PM on June 17, 2005

and something for Nice Donkey...

posted by wendell at 8:06 PM on June 17, 2005

Whoa. That's why I've ordered plenty of tofu burgers for the longboat.
posted by Nice Donkey at 8:19 PM on June 17, 2005

Um, this is kind of embarassing, but did we ever decide if I'm a boy or a girl? Because prom's coming up, and I don't know if I should rent a tux or persuade my mom to buy me a $600 dress. And I don't know if I should ask a Jenny or a Jackass. I've already got a pace rounded up, though. I'm using all these terms right, though. Look!
posted by Nice Donkey at 8:23 PM on June 17, 2005

Fries with that :


posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:37 PM on June 17, 2005

aw crap fuck shit

dammit wendell dammit wendell dammit wendell dammit wendell
posted by gramschmidt at 8:40 PM on June 17, 2005

You're wasting food, gfm! There are starving children in Africa who could live on those fries for a week! (Although the ends on those fries are more - well - spikey than most of the ones I see here in Californium - what do the local potatoes look like?)
posted by wendell at 8:41 PM on June 17, 2005

Hey, grammy, where did you get that MARQUEE?

I was saving that for my next NEWSFLASH comment...

"I brought this thread to 1730 comments, and all I got was this SMALL tag."
posted by wendell at 8:44 PM on June 17, 2005

Maybe they don't grow potatoes; they grow pointatoes! Assuming they grow anything at all, what with their Land being covered in Ice and all.

Wait, Greenland is the icey one, and Iceland is the green one, right? Which means you can grow any kind of *atoes, right? Especially in the 24 hours of daylight season?
posted by Nice Donkey at 8:48 PM on June 17, 2005

During the 24-hour-daylight-season, I'll bet the 'taters have more eyes than most...
posted by wendell at 8:59 PM on June 17, 2005

do the potatoes wear shades?
posted by Cranberry at 10:17 PM on June 17, 2005

Nice Donkey for the prom, how about a nice pants suit? You can be all you can be/or not dressed that way.
posted by Cranberry at 10:21 PM on June 17, 2005

what is the rest of the pace wearing?
posted by Cranberry at 10:22 PM on June 17, 2005

suspects underer does not have a wheel mouse which would allow him to scroll quickly - that's a relative term - through the 1800+ comments. let's not tell him.
posted by Cranberry at 10:26 PM on June 17, 2005

Feels obligated to speak up after seeing kenko's list. Also spontaneously loses The Game, passes on defeat to 9622v2.

Sells underer a mouse with a scroll-wheel [stolen from nearest computer lab], hopes s/he doesn't notice Cranberry's comment.
posted by ubersturm at 11:27 PM on June 17, 2005

hopes ubersturm is haunted by thoughts of The Game. hopes underer tells angry former owner of scroll-wheel mouse just exactly who stole it and why.
posted by Cranberry at 12:39 AM on June 18, 2005

post declaring: Whoohoo! I'm number ten! I'm number ten!

Oh crap. Now I'm numbe...

[PowerBook runs out of battery in middle of post, creating personal "on preview" moment]

*plugs laptop in*

Now I'm number eleven. Crap.

wonders if dastardly plot is viable with unreliable power source, regrets that time laptop was dropped onto concrete and left in rain overnight... Blames demon liquor.

On the other hand, this thang's still goin'!!
posted by bigbigdog at 12:44 AM on June 18, 2005

comment declaring delight that celebrity with own sky beacon such as languagehat has deigned to bless ridiculous intarweb thread thingie with presence
posted by bigbigdog at 12:47 AM on June 18, 2005

scroll down to pickled Shark...
About our longboat trip to the meet in Iceland, um, I am thinking of bringing my own peanut butter sandwiches.
posted by Cranberry at 12:51 AM on June 18, 2005

Pitiful anecdote describing that as PowerBook needs sweet, sweet electric juice from sacred wall socket, poster turns to reading original Level I BASIC manual by Dr. David A. Lien for evening entertainment instead of metat/9622 or other less acceptable pastimes.

Level II upgrade? 16K? I'll never write a program that big!!
posted by bigbigdog at 12:53 AM on June 18, 2005

where did my link go?

posted by Cranberry at 12:53 AM on June 18, 2005

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/newfood/
OK I give up. If you want to read about whale and pickled shark, you will just have to cut and paste
posted by Cranberry at 12:58 AM on June 18, 2005

Nostalgiac post for no good reason about crap nobody cares about anymore.

Using Cassette tape

...the TRS-80 has a built-in "Cassette Tape Interface" which allows you to record and store any program on high quality cassette tape. A full "4K" of memory can be dumped onto tape or loaded from tape, in about 3 minutes. Most programs are shorter and take even less time. That isn't even enough time to get through the deodorant ads. Besides beuilding up your own tape library of computer programs, you can exchange favorite programs with other TRS-80 owners by exchanging tapes.

Recording
Only a little practice is required. Follow the yellow brick road:

1. Locate the Recorder, Interconnecting Cable and Radio Shack Computer Recording Tape cassette.
2. Connect the short cable between the TAPE jack on the back of the TRS-80 and your Cassette Tape Recorder:
   1. The small gray plug goes into the REM jack on the Recorder.
   2. The large gray plug goes into the AUX jack.
   3. The black plug goes into the EAR jack.


3. Plug the Recorder into the wall outlet (or install batteries).


4. Type any program into your Computer, preferably one that is at least several lines long. RUN it to be sure it is entered correctly.


5. Load the cassette tape and press the PLAY and RECORD buttons at the same time until they lock.


6. "Dump" the program onto tape by typing the command:
   
   CSAVE
   
   The motor on the Recorder will start and you'll be recording the Computer's program onto tape.
   
   Watch the Video screen. When
   
   READY

>-
   
   returns and the motor stops, your program is recorded on tape. It is also still in the Computer's memory. It has only been "copied" out.


7. Disconnect the Recorder's REM jack and Rewind the tape. Disconnect the black plug from the EAR jack and Play the tape so you hear what digital data sounds like. Sounds terrible, doesn't it? You were expecting maybe Lawrence Welk?

posted by bigbigdog at 1:20 AM on June 18, 2005

Sentence apologizing for typos in previous post ("beuilding" isn't even a kwijibo!) as well as omission of handful of sidebars from original text.

Observation noting that TRS-80 Model I's are still teh hawtness!! No matter what the playa haters think.

Additional observation that every single goddamn post on this thread has been previewed and Approved By the Poster before posting. Holy cow.
posted by bigbigdog at 1:27 AM on June 18, 2005

Which one? This one?


posted by gramschmidt at 2:07 AM on June 18, 2005

Or this one?


posted by gramschmidt at 2:08 AM on June 18, 2005

The tape recorder is clearly visible in the second one, though the first one has the benefit of mobility. Imagine showing up at your next high-powered business executive meeting with one of those in tow! You'll have a fully functioning computerometer that essentially fits in your lap, a lap-top computerometer, if you will. You'll be the envy of capitalism-at-large! Huzzah!
posted by gramschmidt at 2:12 AM on June 18, 2005

Cranberry's link
posted by gramschmidt at 2:14 AM on June 18, 2005

Not Cranberry's link
posted by gramschmidt at 2:17 AM on June 18, 2005

The Parthenon
posted by gramschmidt at 2:20 AM on June 18, 2005

Butros-Ghali


posted by gramschmidt at 2:21 AM on June 18, 2005

dammit you guys, I'm off for a couple of days and you beat the record AND have a conference in my absence.

Good work.
posted by qwerty155 at 4:34 AM on June 18, 2005

Anyway, as for whether Nice Donkey is a boy or a girl, I imagined that he sounded a bit like Eddie Murphy
posted by qwerty155 at 4:36 AM on June 18, 2005

We've got plenty of peanut butter for your sandwiches, Cranberry.

I won't allow pickled shark in my apartment, if you want to try that shit, you've got to go eat it outside. I had someone open a package in here once and it stunk for days. That stuff is NASTY.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:37 AM on June 18, 2005

I found one of Donkey's holiday snaps as well:

.
posted by qwerty155 at 4:38 AM on June 18, 2005

Wakes up on lawn (again).

Sees donkey in longboat picture.

Spews gunk that built up in throat overnight onto monitor.

OBLIGATORY NOTICE: the wendell is allergic to peanuts; since he already has a fat neck and a fat head, further swelling caused by exposure to peanut butter could ruin YOUR lunch more than an pen jar of pickled shark. Will bring own tuna and Miracle Whip.
posted by wendell at 10:48 AM on June 18, 2005

that should be "an Open jar"
posted by wendell at 10:50 AM on June 18, 2005

Additional observation that every single goddamn post on this thread has been previewed and Approved By the Poster before posting. Holy cow. - bigbigdog

It is amazing, isn't it? That means this was all deliberate. And as the thread continutes to grow to gargantuan proportions, each act of posting becomes a more arduous and time-consuming task. So the will of the posters is inexplicably increasing. *maniacal laugh*

I'm proud to be a part of something so completely inexplicable.

Just a thought, bigbigdog, in light of your current surroundings, Holy Donkey is probably the more appropriate epiphet. /pedant
posted by raedyn at 11:14 AM on June 18, 2005

publicly thanks gramschmidt for generously overcoming abject failure re: posting errant link to disgusting menu. promises to send all future link business gramschmidt's way!
privately thinks "showoff"
posted by Cranberry at 11:27 AM on June 18, 2005

offers competing bid for Cranberry's future link business.
promises to low-ball all other offers until all MetaFilter members are forced to relocate in China or India.
bwahahahahahas.
posted by wendell at 11:33 AM on June 18, 2005

holy donkey! raedyn is right. speculates that donkey in beached longboat is OUR Nice Donkey. wonders where ND got that swell hat.
posted by Cranberry at 11:34 AM on June 18, 2005

will entertain wendell's competing offer for link business. popcorn and a movie sound ok?
posted by Cranberry at 11:36 AM on June 18, 2005

Sorry guys, I had a long day yesterday, did I miss anything?

Oh...

Well, I brought some dip :D
posted by drezdn at 11:37 AM on June 18, 2005

brb. going to kitchen for chips. thanks drezdn
posted by Cranberry at 11:39 AM on June 18, 2005

regrets having to tell drezdn that s/he missed the most fun day yesterday. declines to explain
posted by Cranberry at 11:42 AM on June 18, 2005

(from archive of silly blog logos.. not intended as self-link)
posted by wendell at 11:44 AM on June 18, 2005

popcorn and a movie sound ok?
Anything playing near you that's not a sequel, prequel or remake?
And any theaters that use REAL butter on the popcorn?
If not, I could bring my own. I usually bring butter on dates - no, wait, that doesn't sound right.
posted by wendell at 11:49 AM on June 18, 2005

Blushes.
Hides face in dresdn's dip.
posted by wendell at 11:53 AM on June 18, 2005

haw haw wendell like's drezdn's "dop:
posted by kenko at 2:49 PM on June 18, 2005

Must be the season of witch.
The hippies of today are the assholes of tomorrow.
posted by kenko at 2:52 PM on June 18, 2005

kenko, I don't think the assholes of today are going to step aside.

Two comments since 11:53AM? This thread needs FPPR... time to get out the MeFibrulator...



Put it up to 300...

CLEAR!

(why do I have to say that when nobody's around?)
posted by wendell at 5:39 PM on June 18, 2005

OCD?
posted by geekyguy at 5:50 PM on June 18, 2005

When I was training as an EMT, we were instructed to say "I'm clear, you're clear, we're all clear" which is more thorough but way less cool than just screaming "CLEAR!"

The idea being a lot of people don't look to see that people actually ARE clear before shocking and you end up with fried medical personnel.

This story has no point.

Also : no one in an ER ever says "STAT."
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:04 PM on June 18, 2005

Here's a 'stat' - post number 1900!
posted by geekyguy at 6:19 PM on June 18, 2005

The MeFibrillator is demonstrated by wendell.
geekyguy, kenko and grapefruitmoon watch the procedure while gramschmidt stares at the anatomically correct quonsar doll.

posted by wendell at 6:35 PM on June 18, 2005

so sleepy
posted by gramschmidt at 6:51 PM on June 18, 2005

drive long long
posted by gramschmidt at 6:52 PM on June 18, 2005

time away from thread taxing
posted by gramschmidt at 6:53 PM on June 18, 2005

impedes ability to communicate in complete sentences
posted by gramschmidt at 6:57 PM on June 18, 2005

compounding the difficulty of my ordeal is the fact that, apparently, I just lost all my hair and watched wendell attempt to save quonsar
posted by gramschmidt at 7:00 PM on June 18, 2005

I must concentrate.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:00 PM on June 18, 2005

I must persevere.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:02 PM on June 18, 2005

I must
posted by gramschmidt at 7:08 PM on June 18, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 7:09 PM on June 18, 2005

Wonders when her hair got that brown.

Guess it's an improvement over natural hair color which isn't so much mousy as "rat-tractive."
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:14 PM on June 18, 2005

This post in pi.
This thread in pi.
posted by geekyguy at 9:06 PM on June 18, 2005

feels apprehension about survival of this mess.
posted by Cranberry at 11:07 PM on June 18, 2005

worries that weary gramschmidt is face down in bowl of pickled shark.
posted by Cranberry at 11:13 PM on June 18, 2005

worries that grapefruitmoon will not allow longboat to land if gramschnidt smells of pickled shark.
Or if shark smells of pickled gramschmidt
posted by Cranberry at 11:16 PM on June 18, 2005

worries that nice donkey will not be able to find 4 matching dance shoes for the prom
posted by Cranberry at 11:17 PM on June 18, 2005

worries that wendell went into shock from exposure to peanut butter sandwich comment
posted by Cranberry at 11:19 PM on June 18, 2005

overwhelmed by worries, wanders away shaking head slowly
posted by Cranberry at 11:21 PM on June 18, 2005

thinks Cranberry worries too much about everybody else (but wendell)
posted by wendell at 11:22 PM on June 18, 2005

waves string of worry beads in front of Cranberry
posted by wendell at 11:23 PM on June 18, 2005

waves gramschmidt in front of Cranberry
posted by wendell at 11:25 PM on June 18, 2005

waves gramschmidt out window, because he really does smell like pickled shark
posted by wendell at 11:26 PM on June 18, 2005

waves longboat in front of pickled shark
posted by wendell at 11:27 PM on June 18, 2005

discovers too late that shark is not pickled; must get new longboat
posted by wendell at 11:28 PM on June 18, 2005

discovers too late that 'longboat' is a euphemism - at least I still have my butter
posted by wendell at 11:29 PM on June 18, 2005

MetaFilter: An exercise in perseverance.
posted by birdsquared at 12:00 AM on June 19, 2005

admires birdsquared's perspicacity. notes that it is Juneteenth.
posted by Cranberry at 1:21 AM on June 19, 2005

To repeat myself from elsewhere : it's ironic that 9622.net was created at the request of mathowie to stop exactly what's happening in that new metatalk thread, out of respect for the community, the same thing that was happening in the original 9622, which was itself a copycat of 1142, of course, which had already spawned its own satellite site. You do know that threads were once left unclosed forever, but Matt's hand was forced and the 30-day closure was created solely in response to the pool-peeing lure of the 'cult threads', don't you?

Stop hurting metafilter.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:43 PM PST on June 18 [!]
posted by geekyguy at 2:32 AM on June 19, 2005

MetaTalk: Stop Hurting MetaFilter
posted by geekyguy at 2:40 AM on June 19, 2005

I try to stop hurting Metafilter, but apparently I can't.
posted by bigbigdog at 2:52 AM on June 19, 2005

MetaTalk: Forcing Matt's Hand Since 2000
posted by geekyguy at 3:30 AM on June 19, 2005

MetaTalk: Out of Respect for The Community
posted by geekyguy at 3:42 AM on June 19, 2005

MetaTalk: To Repeat Myself From Elsewhere
posted by geekyguy at 3:52 AM on June 19, 2005

MetaTalk: Don't You?
posted by geekyguy at 4:20 AM on June 19, 2005

MetaTalk: It's Ironic
posted by geekyguy at 5:01 AM on June 19, 2005

MetaTalk: I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
posted by geekyguy at 8:42 AM on June 19, 2005

Christ, are you people still in here? I don't know whether to be impressed or depressed.
posted by dersins at 8:49 AM on June 19, 2005

MetaTalk: stavros's pet thread is now an also-ran
posted by gramschmidt at 8:58 AM on June 19, 2005

dersins: indecisive
posted by gramschmidt at 8:59 AM on June 19, 2005

9622v2: invigorated by opposition
posted by gramschmidt at 9:02 AM on June 19, 2005

geekyguy: recipient of major props
posted by gramschmidt at 9:04 AM on June 19, 2005

I think I may have killed a bug yesterday, while driving.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:14 AM on June 19, 2005

I was going pretty fast, and it was so small. I really didn't have time to swerve.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:16 AM on June 19, 2005

I pulled over as soon as it happened, but it was too late.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:18 AM on June 19, 2005

There was no one around, so I figured I could get away with just a small funeral.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:20 AM on June 19, 2005

I individually tied a bunch of bees to the ground with dental floss, spent a couple of hours fashioning a casket out of old redwood, and hired an inchworm to delivery a eulogy.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:23 AM on June 19, 2005

The eulogy was inadequate and I ended up withholding payment to the worm, but otherwise the service went off without a hitch.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:25 AM on June 19, 2005

I drove on, knowing that I had done all I could, and actually more than is required by the Man-Bug Death Act of 1856. Have you ever actually read the language in that act? All that's really required is that the purpose of the project is to free the students and faculty members from the traditional lecture "credit-for-contact" mold and overcome the problems of large classes.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:32 AM on June 19, 2005

Cranberry: A pants suit! You're brilliant. Will you go shopping with me for the shoes?
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:10 AM on June 19, 2005

On second thought, maybe the prom is lame. Maybe I could just get everybody to go roller-skating instead!
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:12 AM on June 19, 2005

Is roller skating allowed on the longboat?
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:13 AM on June 19, 2005

Is sodomy allowed on the longboat?
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:14 AM on June 19, 2005

Is Eddie Murphy allowed on the longboat?
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:15 AM on June 19, 2005

If he is, let's not act out scenes from Shrek. Let's do scenes from Trading Places.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:18 AM on June 19, 2005

I'm going to bet geekyguy a dollar that we can't turn stavrosthewonderchicken into a 9622v2-posting-fool, while we turn gramschmidt into a 9622v2-wet-blanket.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:24 AM on June 19, 2005

comments just to have a comment in thread
posted by cortex at 10:25 AM on June 19, 2005

wonders why cortex wants infamy in"cult thread".
posted by Cranberry at 11:08 AM on June 19, 2005

realizes the attraction of the group of cool, dedicated, persevering, inspired, underemployed posters struggling against all odds to produce a mammoth thread of absolutely zero intrinsic value. cues music
posted by Cranberry at 11:13 AM on June 19, 2005

kinda like the Alamo. whatever happened to those guys?
posted by Cranberry at 11:15 AM on June 19, 2005

Word of the Day for Sunday June 19, 2005

gravitas \GRAV-uh-tahs\, noun:
High seriousness (as in a person's bearing or in the treatment of a subject)
posted by Cranberry at 11:17 AM on June 19, 2005

Alamo guys made a fortune in licensing: knives, hats, and Pat Boone's whole career.
posted by wendell at 11:33 AM on June 19, 2005

Using Word of the Day in a sentence:
stavrosthewonderchicken has all the gravitas of a five-gallon bucket of tapioca.

*Notices Pee Wee sarts screaming when I say word "gravitas", nearly drowning out rest of joke.*
posted by wendell at 11:45 AM on June 19, 2005

Takes baton fom Cranberry and runs like hell.

I remember the good old days when this thread was truly a collaborative effort and not the semi-marathon relay ace it has become...

*sighs*
posted by wendell at 11:49 AM on June 19, 2005

thinks nice donkey should pick out multicolored pants suit; have each of four shoes dyed to match one of multicolors. will not be upset if qwerty155 silently edits to multicoloured/ multicolours
posted by Cranberry at 12:04 PM on June 19, 2005

likes tapioca.
likes chicken including stavrosthewonder
posted by Cranberry at 12:05 PM on June 19, 2005

encourages wendell to think positively. tomorrow is a work day during which more people will look for way to use employers' time posting to meta
posted by Cranberry at 12:08 PM on June 19, 2005

reminds wendell to take the water offered by crowds along semi-marathon route
posted by Cranberry at 12:10 PM on June 19, 2005

It's time for me to take my place in history.
.
posted by graventy at 12:17 PM on June 19, 2005

welcomes input of graventy from land of 10,000 lakes and Garrison Keillor. mentally removes graventy's dot; refuses to consider thread dead.
posted by Cranberry at 12:58 PM on June 19, 2005

notes that Cranberry just got my birth year comment number.
posted by geekyguy at 1:14 PM on June 19, 2005

wishes geekyguy a Happy BirthYear. offers to release comment number in return for peanut butter sandwich. goes off to Hallmark site to search for appropriate card
posted by Cranberry at 1:43 PM on June 19, 2005

Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the unlimited carnage you are about to witness. Superbowl, World Series—they don't know what pressure is. In this building, it's either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the pits and you take no prisoners. One moment you're up half a mil in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley. Are you with me?
posted by languagehat at 2:04 PM on June 19, 2005

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
posted by wendell at 2:39 PM on June 19, 2005

Wrong! You're not paying attention to Nice Donkey.
posted by languagehat at 3:30 PM on June 19, 2005

*Flips on S.C.M.O.D.S.*
posted by drezdn at 4:00 PM on June 19, 2005

So I typed the URL for this thread by hand, and I misspelled it as "http://metatalk.metafilter.com/mefi/6922" (I know, I know), which redirects to an AskMe thread about debt.

Coincidence.... or fate?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:10 PM on June 19, 2005

So now that we've broken the record, that means this is all just icing on the cake? Make sure to stick the landing boys!
posted by drezdn at 5:56 PM on June 19, 2005

languagehat, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barrelled shotgun because you're pissed at them.
posted by wendell at 5:59 PM on June 19, 2005

We'll never make 2000.

Okay, maybe 2000, but not 2005.
posted by wendell at 6:06 PM on June 19, 2005

Today's bit of MetaFilter History...

On October 12, 2001, at 3:38PM, MetaTalk had its 1142v2, started by rodii declaring " I claim this thread and all its riches for me and my heirs." A mere 8 minutes later:
I claim this comment for Spain.
posted by mathowie at 3:46 PM PST on October 12
posted by wendell at 6:15 PM on June 19, 2005

Tomorrow's bit of MetaFilter History (because I may be away from the computer a lot tomorrow)...

Because AskMeFi was a 'spin-off' of MetaTalk, there never was an AskMe 1142, but AskMe 9622 (August 23, 2004 at 9:07PM) was legendary MetaTrivialist MiguelCardoso asking " Do current table manners in your part of the world suggest you should finish everything on your plate or leave a little?", followed 17 minutes later by legendary MetaSpoilSport Steve_at_Linnwood asking "Miguel, were you purposefully waiting for this Ask MetaFilter thread number?"
posted by wendell at 6:31 PM on June 19, 2005

Polite request for wendell to stop monopolizing the thread.
posted by Kwantsar at 7:11 PM on June 19, 2005

I got a letter this morning, what do you reckon it read?

Kwantsar: I second that emotion.
posted by kenko at 7:23 PM on June 19, 2005

Which leads into the subject of MetaFilter thread numbers that are the same as our user numbers:

With Wendell having such a LOW user I.D., MeFi 206 was a post by mathowie on Oct. 7, 1999 in which he linked to shotgunrules.com (a site that still exists today!) and there were 0 comments, and MeTa 206 addressed a rant by old-old-old skool blogger Jorn Barger, in which one commenter said "I've come to the realization that I like MetaTalk (MeTa?) better than MeFi, because we discuss the basis of discussion and forming community."

MetArchaeology...
posted by wendell at 8:00 PM on June 19, 2005

*wanders in, looks around, sees nothing and nobody important, wanders out again looking confused.*

Hmm, I could have sworn I heard someone say all the cool kids were hanging out here. Guess they were wrong.
posted by dg at 8:28 PM on June 19, 2005

k&k, you want less wendell?
then provide more yourself.

I plan to cut way back after the thread hits 2000, but I just wish it would hurry up and get there.
posted by wendell at 9:14 PM on June 19, 2005

I would like to buy everyone in this thread a beer. However, I don't know if everyone drinks beer. Is anyone here more fond of paint thinner than beer? If so, which brand?

I want to make sure I am covered when I arrive at grapefruitmoon's place with beer (and the correct brand of paint thinner) for everyone.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:23 PM on June 19, 2005

To clarify, I am not a very serious beer drinker myself. I'm more of a coffee house person. I do enjoy a beer from time to time, especially at and with the appropriate meal with the appropriate friends, but since I subsist mostly on late-night burritos and coffee, I am largely ignorant of the quality brands of paint thinner.

Please advise.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:31 PM on June 19, 2005

encourages wendell to think positively. tomorrow is a work day during which more people will look for way to use employers' time posting to meta - Cranberry

*sheds a tear*
It's too true. I just wish that it wasn't the busiest two weeks of the entire year between now and the closing of this thread. I'm not able to contribute to the degree which this mess deserves.

Hmm, I could have sworn I heard someone say all the cool kids were hanging out here. Guess they were wrong. - dg

*scowl*
posted by raedyn at 9:34 PM on June 19, 2005

I mean, is this stuff quality?



Or is it like the Natural Light of paint thinners? I would hate to show up with this under the pretense that it's good stuff. If it sucks, let me know, and I'll pretend like I knew all along that it sucked, and that that's the point, and I'm being ironic, like when indie rock scenesters drink Miller High Life.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:39 PM on June 19, 2005

I'll bring a case of Milwaukee's Best (not actually made in Milwaukee), Miller Light (It's like you're drinking Lake Michigan!) and something from Lakefront Brewery (made about 20 blocks away), all from the spiritual home of American Beers(TM), also the Spiritual Home of American Motorcycles(TM), and the Spiritual Home of Stunted All Star Games(TM).
posted by drezdn at 9:49 PM on June 19, 2005

My preferred brand of paint thinner:

posted by wendell at 9:50 PM on June 19, 2005

Miller Light (It's like you're drinking Lake Michigan!)

Is that better or worse tasting than Lake Erie? I drank Lake Superior once, but it was peyote's fault.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:05 PM on June 19, 2005

posted by wendell at 10:18 PM on June 19, 2005

Who, exactly, is Waldo, and why do I care where he is?
posted by gramschmidt at 10:27 PM on June 19, 2005

I plan to cut way back after the thread hits 2000, but I just wish it would hurry up and get there.
posted by wendell at 9:14 PM PST on June 19 [!]

Wendell, you're just in it for the threadcount? Like with bedsheets?
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:28 PM on June 19, 2005

I am usually the sort of person who avoids looking specifically for men wearing striped shirts.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:29 PM on June 19, 2005

I thought we were all in it for the love. Like with bedsheets.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:31 PM on June 19, 2005

Does this Waldo fellow have family members who desperately need to find him? Is that why they've funded this series of books devoted to his discovery?
posted by gramschmidt at 10:32 PM on June 19, 2005

Low threadcount sheets tend to retain more donkey hair, by the way.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:34 PM on June 19, 2005

*Sticks the landing*
posted by dial-tone at 10:40 PM on June 19, 2005

For the love. And the absurdity. And the love of absurdity. And the whale meat, and the pancakes, and the longboats, and the paint thinner, and the peanut butter (well, okay, maybe you're not in it for the peanut butter, but I can accept that), and the cow orkery, and the acid-laced sugar cubes, and the big tag, and the totally sweet jokes (Wen, Dell? Wen, Dell?), and the time stolen from "the man" and the really, really, really, really long load times, and the DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING remember the DING DING DINGADKFJOIoisdfj;oidsjfkj???!!!!!!!!!
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:57 PM on June 19, 2005

participated in Father's Day festivities. Watched San Antonio finally beat Detroit on a basket by Big Shot Bob or Big Shot Bobby as Tim Duncan teases M. Horry.
posted by Cranberry at 11:28 PM on June 19, 2005

relieved that so many nice mefites showed up to prolong the thread.
posted by Cranberry at 11:30 PM on June 19, 2005

has hoard of truffles for arduous journey in open longboat. hopes wendell is not allergic to chocolate as well as peanuts.
posted by Cranberry at 11:40 PM on June 19, 2005

lives in Portland - where for the last 10+ years the microbrewery has been all the rage - but does not drink beer. unless alternative is Atlantic ocean.
posted by Cranberry at 11:44 PM on June 19, 2005

will stow wine bottles in capacious pockets of yellow slicker. acknowledges extensive vocabulary of sailing terms. "stow", "slicker", "avast ye landlubbers!" impressive?
posted by Cranberry at 11:49 PM on June 19, 2005

learned one word of Spanish on Sesame Street. Wonders if everyone knows that ocho = 8.
Considers meta-whatever postgraduate education; learned from birdsquared that fogel is bird in German. Polyglot!
posted by Cranberry at 11:55 PM on June 19, 2005

will name parrot Glot
posted by Cranberry at 11:56 PM on June 19, 2005

jeers at naysayers. this is comment 2010
posted by Cranberry at 1:32 AM on June 20, 2005

steps back in favor of early rising Europeans
posted by Cranberry at 1:33 AM on June 20, 2005

posted by geekyguy at 4:36 AM on June 20, 2005

Did I miss anything important?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 4:54 AM on June 20, 2005

I also do not drink beer. Or motorcycles. I quit drinking motorcycles years ago. I'm too old for that shit.
posted by raedyn at 6:08 AM on June 20, 2005

Oooh. Paint thinner. Reminds me of art school.

The best kind of paint thinner is Odorless Mineral Spirits - OMS - and it totally makes you all sorts of dizzy before you know it because of lack of stinky funk warning you not to inhale that shit.

OMS all around!

(The worst, for comparison, is Turpenoid. That stuff is thick and nasty and smells like death.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:46 AM on June 20, 2005

Fun facts about paint thinner : Victorian ladies used to drink small amounts of turpentine to make their urine smell like violets.

Also : Vincent Van Gogh drank paint thinner and ate cadmium yellow (a particularly toxic shade of paint). Yum!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:47 AM on June 20, 2005

*Drinks paint thinner and eats cadmium yellow in hopes of achieving greatness*
posted by dial-tone at 9:50 AM on June 20, 2005

*helpfully cuts off dial-tone's ear in an effort to speed the quest to greatness*
posted by raedyn at 10:40 AM on June 20, 2005

eschews paint thinner hoping subsequent sniff test is thing of past era of chamber pots.
posted by Cranberry at 10:48 AM on June 20, 2005

hopes dial-tone has other ear in order to hear, well, dial-tone
posted by Cranberry at 10:49 AM on June 20, 2005

Word of the Day for Monday June 20, 2005

exigent \EK-suh-juhnt\, adjective:
1. Requiring immediate aid or action; pressing; critical.
2. Requiring much effort or expense; demanding; exacting.
posted by Cranberry at 10:53 AM on June 20, 2005

Did I miss anything important?

Donkeys, longboats, catering. Nothing particularly exigent.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:54 AM on June 20, 2005

Thanks for the update. gnfti. I regret that's far too late to remind Fezboy! that that's not possible, unless he's willing to spring for the surgery.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 11:56 AM on June 20, 2005

The Holy Trinity is located in one of Romania's most remote and poorest mountain dwellings, and has no electricity or running water.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 11:57 AM on June 20, 2005

Wakes on lawn, again, with bedsheet tied around throat.

Smells violets.
posted by wendell at 12:02 PM on June 20, 2005

Notices ear on ground that sounds like telephone left off hook.
posted by wendell at 12:05 PM on June 20, 2005

Looks backward at 9622v2, notices y'all got over 2000 without me.

Decides against being the first to say "You'll never make 3000".
posted by wendell at 12:17 PM on June 20, 2005

Will not post again in this thread until wendell settles the fuck down.
posted by kenko at 12:49 PM on June 20, 2005

Feeling a little exigent today.
posted by wendell at 12:57 PM on June 20, 2005

***night*** belated homage to van Gogh. looks for sewing kit, flesh-colored thread.
posted by Cranberry at 1:22 PM on June 20, 2005

I think I speak for the collective 9622v2 cast all admirers of the <blingk> tag when I say:



OK, NOW WHAT?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:24 PM on June 20, 2005

wonders if shot glass of Odorless Mineral Spirits would cure wendell of feeling a little exigent
posted by Cranberry at 1:25 PM on June 20, 2005

thinks gnfti may be past feeling exigent.
posted by Cranberry at 1:28 PM on June 20, 2005

John R. Bolton graduated from Yale University two years after President George W. Bush in 1970. In a recent letter, 76 of Bolton's Yale classmates wrote to senators opposing Bolton's nomination as ambassador to the United Nations.
cut & pasted from Washington Post.
If this is not good enough for MeTa, is sure someone will say so.
posted by Cranberry at 3:00 PM on June 20, 2005

I say FPP it.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:20 PM on June 20, 2005

Me, I'm placing bets on how long my latest AskMe post will survive before being MetaAxed for supposed chatfilterism.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:23 PM on June 20, 2005

divide and conquer gnfti? while all the oldbies would be busy saying newsfilter about Bolton, you would be getting 8 or more replies to your chatfilter.
*sees through gnfti's plot*
posted by Cranberry at 4:35 PM on June 20, 2005

Never mind, now.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:48 PM on June 20, 2005

I meant well.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:50 PM on June 20, 2005

In fact, I was pretty closely involved with paving the road to Hell.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:51 PM on June 20, 2005

If this where the "gettin' in the last word" bit begins?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:01 PM on June 20, 2005

Then get on with it then.

/cya
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:20 PM on June 20, 2005

Feels bad for (slightly) misleading Cranberry, in that "vogel" is actually the German word for bird, (bird -- der Vogel) and Dutch too (Vogel (origin: Dutch.) A bird, a duck; figuratively, a cunning fellow, a fine young blade.) but feels confident that said polyglot of course knows/knew that the Germanic "v" is pronounced "f".

/assumes Cranberry is still persefering in reading this thread...
posted by birdsquared at 8:34 PM on June 20, 2005

cya? cover your ass? why would you need to, IIHAA???
posted by wendell at 8:50 PM on June 20, 2005

posts question.

on preview: how many teeth could you fit in your mouth, not including your own teeth?
posted by underer at 9:32 PM on June 20, 2005

has seen folksvagons
posted by Cranberry at 10:14 PM on June 20, 2005

most were toothless. hopes underer pursues lofty quest with own teeth and mouth
posted by Cranberry at 10:16 PM on June 20, 2005

gnfti - macadam? concrete? good intentions?
posted by Cranberry at 10:18 PM on June 20, 2005

Notes he is not alergic to macadamia nuts (or chocolate - if I were, I'd be half the man I am today... literally)
posted by wendell at 10:54 PM on June 20, 2005

*wakes up from being passed out, proceeds to paint marvelous pictures of vaginas disguised as house plants, realizes he may have his artists confused, wonders where ear is*
posted by dial-tone at 10:56 PM on June 20, 2005

Ding, dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead!
posted by ubersturm at 12:10 AM on June 21, 2005

.
posted by ubersturm at 12:12 AM on June 21, 2005

erases uberstrum's dot. insists thread is alive
posted by Cranberry at 12:36 AM on June 21, 2005

switches witches wearing britches with no hitches. keeps self in stitches
posted by Cranberry at 12:41 AM on June 21, 2005

Whispers in dial-tone's remaining ear "wendell knows where your ear is". he heard it
Notices ear on ground that sounds like telephone left off hook.
posted by wendell at 12:05 PM PST on June 20

posted by Cranberry at 12:42 AM on June 21, 2005

checks clock. sees it should be 7:45AM where qwerty155 and grapefruitmoon are. post time as they say in horse racing. adds another quadruped to the thread
posted by Cranberry at 12:48 AM on June 21, 2005

see what happens when you try to use spell check? you lose 3 minutes
posted by Cranberry at 12:50 AM on June 21, 2005

745AM? What kind of nut are you? I'm never awake before 9.

Ahhh, the leisurely life of the unemployed.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:05 AM on June 21, 2005

745AM? What kind of nut are you? I'm employed (well, for another couple of weeks anyway), but I only get up with mimium time required to get to work. Never do I get up early to check the net (no, not even for 9622v2).
posted by qwerty155 at 3:56 AM on June 21, 2005

Me, I just never check MeFi in the morning, as a health precaution.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:36 AM on June 21, 2005

Mr. Mournival has unlock'd the Vitrine, and reach'd into the Sea-Glow within. "You ought not leave, Sir, till you've spoken into Ear. She'll be a much better Judge of when you may go. And 'twill cost but a Rix-Dollar more,—

"What!"

"Be advis'd, I am empower'd to use Violence, I've a Warrant from the Company,—"

"Here then,— take, take two Rix-Dollars,— why not? only Dutch money, isn't it, no more real than the Cape be, and that terrible Dream that has seiz'd and will not release them,—"

"Don't tell me," shrugs Mr. Mournival. "Tell Ear. It's just the sort of Chatup she fancies. Treat for you today, Ear!" he cries, startling Mason into a back-twinge he would rather not have. "Go ahead, Sir. Put your Lips as close as as you care to."

"You're not altogether well," Mason points out.

"And more of us on the Leeward Side than you'd ever suspect— There ... so.— Better? Now whisper Ear your Wish, your fondest Wish,— join all those Sailors and Whores and Company Writers without number who've found their way down here, who've cried their own desires into the Great Insatiable. Upon my Solicitor's Advice, I must also remind you at this Point, that Ear only listens to Wishes,— she doesn't grant 'em."

Mason can scarce look into the blue-green Radiance surrounding the Ear,— in this crowded darkness, even the pale luminescence stuns.. .and just as well, too, for the Organ has now definitely risen up out of its Pickle, and without question is offering itself, half-cur'd and subterranean cold, to Mason's approaching Mouth. I have surviv'd the A Royal Baby, Mason tells himself,— this can be done. The flirtatious Ear stands like a shellfish,— vibrating, waiting.
posted by languagehat at 6:21 AM on June 21, 2005

The auricle of my ear felt fresh, rough, cool, succulent to the touch, like a leaf.
posted by languagehat at 9:26 AM on June 21, 2005

This is not the place to put quotations from our daily reading, Mr Hat. Kindly see your way out the door.
posted by kenko at 9:36 AM on June 21, 2005

fuck cock cunt
posted by gramschmidt at 10:41 AM on June 21, 2005

Bluenose #1: Whoa, what was that, gramschmidt? Totally uncalled for!
posted by gramschmidt at 10:42 AM on June 21, 2005

You're not paying attention, kenko.

*Drinks paint thinner and eats cadmium yellow in hopes of achieving greatness*
posted by dial-tone at 9:50 AM PST on June 20

*helpfully cuts off dial-tone's ear in an effort to speed the quest to greatness*
posted by raedyn at 10:40 AM PST on June 20

eschews paint thinner hoping subsequent sniff test is thing of past era of chamber pots.
posted by Cranberry at 10:48 AM PST on June 20

hopes dial-tone has other ear in order to hear, well, dial-tone
posted by Cranberry at 10:49 AM PST on June 20

The egress is that way. Don't let the door hit you in the ass.
posted by languagehat at 10:42 AM on June 21, 2005

Bluenose #1: I mean, is that what this thread has become, a repository for wholly unprecedented expletive triumvirates?
posted by gramschmidt at 10:45 AM on June 21, 2005

Bluenose #1: Odds bodkins, I can't for the life of me understand why you would indulge in such things. You are a disgrace to humankind.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:48 AM on June 21, 2005

Bluenose #1: Technology experts say the latest phone system collapse is an important wake-up call. They have warned that New Zealand's infrastructure systems may be too vulnerable to network failure.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:51 AM on June 21, 2005

Bluenose #1: Then I went to the Exchange, and hear that the merchants have a great fear of a breach with the Spaniard; for they think he will not brook our having Tangier, Dunkirk, and Jamaica; and our merchants begin to draw home their estates as fast as they can. Then to Pope’s Head Ally, and there bought me a pair of tweezers, cost me 14s., the first thing like a bawble I have bought a good while, but I do it with some trouble of mind, though my conscience tells me that I do it with an apprehension of service in my office to have a book to write memorandums in, and a pair of compasses in it; but I confess myself the willinger to do it because I perceive by my accounts that I shall be better by 30l. than I expected to be. But by tomorrow night I intend to see to the bottom of all my accounts. Then home to dinner, where Mr. Moore met me. Then he went away, and I to the office and dispatch much business. So in the evening, my wife and I and Jane over the water to the Halfway-house, a pretty, pleasant walk, but the wind high. So home again and to bed.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:57 AM on June 21, 2005

Brownnose #1: Bluenose #1 is right.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:58 AM on June 21, 2005

Wakes up on lawn again. Wishes he could at least make it to the porch one of these nights.

Blueear #2: New Zealand has an infrastructure? I thought the whole island was one big sheep farm. As for you, gramschmidt, don't think you're going to get away with slipping 2.5 of the 7 Words You Can't Say on TV into the discussion then disguising yourself with that fake nose. You aren't Dick Cheney. And everyone, always remember that languagehat is physically incapable of making a total non-sequitur; everything he says does tie in to something earlier in the thread (still, I wonder, doesn't having one ear make the languagehat crooked?)
posted by wendell at 11:05 AM on June 21, 2005

WARNING: I read John Scalzi's "Old Man's War" yesterday cover-to-cover. Enjoyed all but 11 words of the whole thing. If cornered, I will quote long passages describing odd alien species, and scenes of interesting characters getting the "Enterprise Red Shirt" treatment (or even more frightening, the 'sex between two enhanced humans' scene), and all without prior permission from MeFi member jscalzi.
posted by wendell at 11:11 AM on June 21, 2005

9622v2 - "You're not altogether well"
posted by raedyn at 11:20 AM on June 21, 2005

"but I confess myself the willinger to do it" gramschmidt quotes. WILLINGER? passage was written before the invention of the word "more" as in "more willing"? Of great interest to um, well someone must be interested
posted by Cranberry at 11:37 AM on June 21, 2005

9622v2 - "You're not altogether well"inger
posted by Cranberry at 11:45 AM on June 21, 2005

Interesting phenomenon:

There are several users (myself included) who have expressed trepidation about posting to the front page.

In my own case, this is because of a couple of factors
- I care about the quality of content here, and believe there should be a high standard of what is posted (higher than some users seem to think based upon their contributions to the front page)
- I have a limited amount of time to spend online, and much of my surfing is generated from MeFi related links (like MeFites personal sites, or links in MeFi threads) so there's a limited amount of unique content that I run into
- I'm a little timid about being publicly vilified for doing something 'wrong'. People in my online life would be surprised to hear that, but it's true. I respect many of the vocal posters here, and I am not very interested in being torn apart by them. My skin isn't very thick when it comes to people I look up to in some way.

So for me (and others I suspect) it's like I have two internal filters. The first one (which I think every MeFite should have, and it's desirable) is the one that says "is this a crap post, is it unique, is it interesting, is it more than just generating controversy, does it have value". And the second filter is just afraid that it won't live up to someone else's expectations and therefore I don't post some stuff that passes the first test and is probably post-worthy for fear of someone ripping my head off in MeTa.

People who rip other people's heads off in MeTa - well, sometimes they are just assholes. But most times I think it's done because the user really does care about the level of discourse and quality of posts and is doing it for the right reasons - trying to encourage others to improve their own internal "is this post-worthy" filters. But it's often done the wrong way: with an attitude of "look how caustic I can be, and how superior I am to you". People showing off their powress of meaness and berating.

Sure users like myself need to grow a thicker skin, maybe. But I think the beraters are often doing MeFi a disfavour. They're creating a hostile environment. So other users either cower and don't contribute, or they ignore even the useful points in the ranting, and set their standards low because they put zero stock in criticism. So constructive criticism gets lots in a sea of asshats.

So.. how can we encourage people to raise their personal standards for what to post, but still create an environment that is welcoming & unintimidating to post the worthy stuff?

/rant

(Yes, yes GYOBFW. But it's here, and I thought someone else might have something to say about it, and I'd like to hear other contributions.)
posted by raedyn at 11:50 AM on June 21, 2005

I am so ashamed. I abase myself.
posted by kenko at 12:13 PM on June 21, 2005

I too am ashamed.

*disembowels kenko, then self*

*with dying breath, murmurs to raedyn:*

You cannot change MetaFilter. You can only attempt to keep MetaFilter from changing you.
posted by languagehat at 2:52 PM on June 21, 2005

*pokes head in, looks around*

Wow, um, yeah... good work or someting.

just um, remember to clean up the joint afterwards, I suggest using LOTS of bleach. cause ya know, the smell...

I mean hell, we had to start a whole new site
posted by tj at 6:03 PM on June 21, 2005

raedyn, you make some great points. I recently made a front-page post and am nervous enough about The Blue that I ran it by jessamyn first. I think that my front-page posting history is decent and I always consider that when I make a post.

A lot of MeFites complain about NewsFilter and although I'm not keen to post any, I do often think of MeFi when I read some news of interest.
posted by geekyguy at 7:42 PM on June 21, 2005

Hey, which way to the egress, again? I really want to see that thing.
posted by yhbc at 8:02 PM on June 21, 2005

reminds raedyn that those who appear above the horizon may be shot at. keeping low profile. cowering because of bullies safer but less rewarding. encourages raedyn to post what is of interest, but be prepared.
posted by Cranberry at 9:08 PM on June 21, 2005

picks up sewing kit again, re-embowels kenko and languagehat, stitches neat closure, sends bill to insurance company.
posted by Cranberry at 9:10 PM on June 21, 2005

I saw that so-called "great" egress once. It wasn't that great.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:45 PM on June 21, 2005

Shares sugar cubes with kenko and languagehat to encourage convalescence.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:48 PM on June 21, 2005

day 17, long before rosy-fingered dawn etc.
commends kindness of nice donkey. sugar cubes should be excellent anasthetic for pain of disemboweling, re-emboweling, stitching.
posted by Cranberry at 12:19 AM on June 22, 2005

The blue can not scare me!

Well, that's only because I mostly post about art (in varying degrees of obscure) and kittens. Very little controversy there. I'm not necessarily trying to avoid a debate, I just like art and kittens.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:35 AM on June 22, 2005

The rest of us, we just try and avoid art and kittens. Brr. The thought alone.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:18 AM on June 22, 2005

Weakly thanks Cranberry and Nice Donkey, resolves to leave samurai swords in display case where they belong.
posted by languagehat at 7:10 AM on June 22, 2005

This great egress?


posted by gramschmidt at 8:34 AM on June 22, 2005

Man, that was the worst NPR half past intro I've heard in a long time. That thing is usually disposable anyway, filled with some quirky news story or ironic (or alanironic) tidbit, but it usually manages to be somewhat clever.

But a cop getting his unmarked cop car stolen? That's fucking nothing! A zero! That's a null story! It wasn't even framed interestingly!

If the federal government is going to take 78% of my gross pay to fund NPR, I expect a modicum of wit, not a cess pool of Leno-esque trivia.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:53 AM on June 22, 2005

Packs up entrails and GOES HOME.

Then comes crawling back. You gotta give me some more of those sugar cubes!
posted by kenko at 9:55 AM on June 22, 2005

No, gram, that's not an egress! I think that's one of those wild ergots, if I'm not mistaken. The price of rye went way up when crops were infested with them last year.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:23 AM on June 22, 2005

Out of sugar cubes. Sniffs hopefully in the direction of grapefruitmoon.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:26 AM on June 22, 2005

I've got a female egret ...
posted by kenko at 11:17 AM on June 22, 2005

Donkey, kenko, friends... allow me to introduce you to the beauty that is liquid sugar. *preapres IV bags*
posted by raedyn at 12:10 PM on June 22, 2005

says "tsk" to gramschmidt
posted by Cranberry at 12:20 PM on June 22, 2005

considers diatribe about rotten egret/egress puns. decides against it.
posted by Cranberry at 12:21 PM on June 22, 2005

liquid sugar? Intravenous Karo syrup? h-m-m-m
posted by Cranberry at 12:23 PM on June 22, 2005

HOLY SHIT! FIRE DRILL!

chaos; disorder; papers everywhere; men dashing for the exits; women calmly finishing their lattes; broken windows; glass; fisticuffs in the stairwell; Pabst cans everywhere; pitching pennies behind the dumpster; assaulting the Safety Officer with a topiary; a donkey wearing a Carmen Miranda hat, swimming in a vat of blue Jello; Generalized Mayhem Disorder; etc.

What fun!
posted by gramschmidt at 2:07 PM on June 22, 2005

raedyn: The front page, for me, is a source of links. Like you, a big portion of the stuff that I think the community would be interested in comes from that same community. If I come across something on my own, it's usually either too narrow a field of interest or too broad. Any of us who regularly read several different news outlets could have posted any of the constant NewsFilter links. I don't because I prefer to live in a fantasy world where MetaFilter is filled with people like me, who have already seen this stuff and can refer back to it while discussing other, higher-level, tangential things.

The links, though, can be considered separately from the threads that follow, of which there are roughly three kinds:

1) Intelligent conversations exchanging ideas about an essential, thought-provoking link (or post or FPP or whatever).

2) Non-existent conversations filled with six comments consisting of "Yup", "Agreed", or "You know, this is interesting, thanks".

3) Tiresome re-hashings of ancient arguments consisting of sentiments that are essentially scripted in advance.

Threads like 1) are few and far between and are fun to observe and occasionally comment join in on. 2)s are kind of empty, but they serve as affirmation for the poster, encouragement that they did something good.

I have very little use for those like 3), since, as I mentioned, they seem scripted. Most evolution or abortion or Iraq or Bush threads can be plotted and diagrammed prior to their even being initiated. Your recent Morgantaler post was excellent, and the thread was actually quite good. The info-exchange stage quickly ceded to emotion-based snarking, but even that yielded some info I didn't have.

However, if you had posted the same thing on a Tuesday morning, it probably would have degenerated into a fully predictable, emotion-fueled back-and-forth full of froth and jerking knees. We've all read these before, and I mean in places other than MetaFilter. We're familiar with them and the rhetorical tricks and fallacies used therein. We know the extreme positions very well.

Such a discussion is essentially empty. It provides no new information and is thus useless.

Sometimes I feel the need to add a clarification, like here, in today's "Bible as Lit" thread.

Did I really add anything to the discussion that someone hasn't already said better in a thousand other discussions, here and in other forums? Nope. Someone later even says "gramschmidt raises a good point here, but it does not add to this issue philosophically". The question of whether the Bible is literature or not is an age-old, largely partisan and largely predictable discussion. The question of whether or not Fallbrook High is acting in observance of the establishment clause of the First Amendment is new. I tried to add to that discussion and was nudged aside in favor of the more predictable, emotion-based issue.

That's why I'm still mostly an observer. (Well, except for one thread. Perhaps you've heard of it?)

I'm not exactly sure how we encourage better posting habits and encourage otherwise hesitant people to come forth with their posts but, though it's often very entertaining, less sarcastic or caustic call-outs in MeTa are probably a good start. Perhaps another good way is to remind people that the denizens of predictable, hot-button issue threads can be viewed as bots and are thus ignorable.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:52 PM on June 22, 2005

HOLY SHIT! FIRE!

Everybody off the longboat! Into the water, where it's safe!
posted by Nice Donkey at 2:57 PM on June 22, 2005

supposes fun is all over now! wishes gramschmidt had posted address of fire drill. would have galloped over with Nice Donkey
posted by Cranberry at 2:59 PM on June 22, 2005

Ocean fills with cranberries, grapefruits, hats, and donkeys.
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:00 PM on June 22, 2005

Followed by raedyns, gramschmidts, and kenkos.
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:01 PM on June 22, 2005

WHAT? IT WAS JUST A DRILL?
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:02 PM on June 22, 2005

NOW YOU'VE MADE ME TURN MY CAPS LOCK ON! FROM NOW ON I CAN ONLY YELL EVERYTHING! AND I MUST USE LOTS AND LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS IF I WANT TO EMPHASIZE SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:06 PM on June 22, 2005

SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE???!!!?!?!?!
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:06 PM on June 22, 2005

Nah, we can have a real fire, if you want.

GO!

Ahh! Help! Get me some retardant and a case of PBR, quick!
posted by gramschmidt at 3:07 PM on June 22, 2005

Whoa, whoa, wait for Caps Lock Day, and WHERE'S THAT GODDAMN PBR?!?
posted by gramschmidt at 3:09 PM on June 22, 2005

Also, all emphasis should be made with "quotation marks".

"Thank" you.

*dies of smoke inhalation*

*is resurrected as Clown Jesus*

*hilariously crucified for truth of goofy message*

*reincarnated as gramschmidt with identical features and powers of irritation*

*yells hooray*

"Hoo"ray "!"
posted by gramschmidt at 3:13 PM on June 22, 2005

"fireboat douses longboat." " watches in horror as language is separated from his hat." " it floats down stream." " Orders new Ecuador for him from Panama."
posted by Cranberry at 3:39 PM on June 22, 2005

Wakes up on lawn, slightly crispy around the edges yet wetter than usual. Sees lawn covered with exclamation marks and caps lock keys. Checks watch. 3:42PM PST?!?
posted by wendell at 3:45 PM on June 22, 2005

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '

]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]

Also sprach Zarathustra.

On fire.

Existence is not a predicate.

Ha!
posted by gramschmidt at 3:47 PM on June 22, 2005

"Hoo" ray
in"deed"
posted by raedyn at 3:56 PM on June 22, 2005

"Cranberry rulez"

"certainly"

"quotes empower"
posted by gramschmidt at 4:06 PM on June 22, 2005

"rae"dyn r0xx()rs
posted by gramschmidt at 4:13 PM on June 22, 2005

Made you blink!
posted by wendell at 6:15 PM on June 22, 2005

I'm sorry, Mr Murphy, I have no sweet cubes either.
Care for some nice syrupy roffles instead?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:31 PM on June 22, 2005

you're still here! you're all still here!

I heart this thread more every day.
posted by Fezboy! at 8:55 PM on June 22, 2005

What's up, marquee Fezboy!?
posted by gramschmidt at 9:26 PM on June 22, 2005

gestures at Fezboy. of course we are still here. it is "THE" place to be
posted by Cranberry at 9:26 PM on June 22, 2005

gramschmidt cruises by
posted by Cranberry at 9:28 PM on June 22, 2005

Is 9622v2 really a cult thread?
posted by gramschmidt at 9:29 PM on June 22, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 9:31 PM on June 22, 2005

It's more like a suicide cult thread, with a built-in timer on the wall.

"Fourteen days to Kool-Aid time, everyone! Do you all have your blue Adidas sneakers? It'll be a long trip, you know!"
posted by yhbc at 9:34 PM on June 22, 2005

Fezboy! (!) I thought you were lost forever!
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:38 PM on June 22, 2005

nods at yhbc - the instigator of 9622v2. goes to look for blue adidas sneakers
posted by Cranberry at 9:42 PM on June 22, 2005

gets second notice today:
"The request has exceeded the allowable time limit Tag: cfoutput"
posted by Cranberry at 9:45 PM on June 22, 2005

Holy frickin' Spicoli's.

It's still here.

Oh my.

Post contributing nothing to what small dialog still remains.
posted by bigbigdog at 11:23 PM on June 22, 2005

Observation that I was rocking the marquee and blink tags before it was cool.
posted by drezdn at 11:46 PM on June 22, 2005

Everytime a user reload 9622v2, a Jrun error gets its wings.
posted by drezdn at 11:51 PM on June 22, 2005

is it over?
posted by Cranberry at 1:14 AM on June 23, 2005

wonders what null 500 means
posted by Cranberry at 1:15 AM on June 23, 2005

TOTAL CHATFILTER DEGENERATION:

Hey Cranberry, what's up?
posted by gramschmidt at 3:41 AM on June 23, 2005

Right. What a fucking couple of days I've had.
Firstly my work PC goes tits up and so have to spend the day rebuilding it rather than surfing the internets, then I get home and guess what? My fucking home machine shits itself and I spend 7 hours 7 FUCKING HOURS doing data recovery on a failed disk.
We're having a bit of a heat wave darn sarf and I think it's cooking things - well that's the only thing I can think off. Well, that or its just sheer coincidence.

Personally I was thinking of just throwing my PC out of the window and never using my interweb again, but then I thought of you guys and it spurred my on. I mean I need to know how it's going to end.
Firstly would you just disembowling yourselves. Please? You're leaving a bloody (ha, geddit?) mess on the floor.
Secondly stop can we now stop feeding Nice Donkey acid? It was kinda fun watching him talk to the walls and swat flies with his keyboard to start with, but he's developing a thousand yard stare like a true veteran. I dont know what fried donkey brains taste like, but I'm guessing it's not good.
posted by qwerty155 at 5:04 AM on June 23, 2005

Intolerance for the Patriots Who Defend Our Nation

In this country, leftists are completely tolerant of the right of minors to have abortions without their parent’s consent. They have 100% tolerance for the right of Muslims to broadcast their holy prayers through Christian neighborhoods. They overwhelmingly support the right of child molesters to live in society unmolested (pun intended) after they’ve “done their time.” They support wholeheartedly the right of large hairy men to parade through the streets of major cities in garters and fishnet stockings simulating sex acts and loudly proclaiming gay rights. They are foursquare behind the “right” of illegal aliens to obtain driver’s licenses and government aid. They even support the “right” of members of the North American Man/Boy Love Association – a group of pedophiles who should be arrested on general principles – to be recognized as a legitimate group. But let the Reserve Officer’s Training Corps try to recruit young would-be defenders of freedom on a publicly funded state university campus and all hell breaks loose. At least that’s what the deal is at the University of California Santa Barbara campus where they just held a “town meeting” the sole purpose of which was to get the ROTC thrown off campus ostensibly because the ROTC doesn’t want to know what a recruit’s sexual orientation is:

Charles Bazerman, chair of the UCSB Dept. of Education, helped organize the town hall meeting as well. He said the Solomon Amendment, approved by Congress in 1996, prompted the meeting. The amendment states that campuses must allow military recruiters on the campus in order to be eligible for federal funding.

Bazerman said the military’s policy forces gay service members to hide their identities.

“The campus has a non-discrimination policy and as part of that, we ought not to allow recruiting of organizations that discriminate on campus,” Bazerman said. “The ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy’ of the military is putting gays, lesbians, etcetera in living conditions where they can’t be open to who they are and must misrepresent [themselves] and hide.”

The idea that these folks “must misrepresent themselves and hide” is utterly ridiculous. What part of “don’t ask, don’t tell” is it that these pacifist liberal jackasses don’t understand? The military isn’t about what orifice a person chooses to use for sex with what gender in order to get their rocks off. It’s about protecting our country from enemies foreign and domestic. And a person’s “sexual orientation” has nothing to do with the mission of the military to the extent that it doesn’t interfere with the goal of protecting our freedom. In other words if you keep your sexual preference to yourself, you won’t have any problems. But because the military apparently doesn’t want to be inclusive of the aforementioned big hairy men in garter belts and fishnet stockings simulating sex acts in the streets, they apparently aren’t “inclusive” enough for Bazerman and the rest of the lefties running UCSB. The belief that people of any “sexual orientation” who define themselves solely by the way they choose to have sex don’t belong in the military just doesn’t square with the UCSB “non-discrimination” policy. Too bad for the commie bureaucrats that the UCSB “non-discrimination” policy doesn’t square with the law -- specifically the Solomon Amendment of to the National Defense Authorization Act of 1995 which states:

(a) Denial of Funds for Preventing ROTC Access to Campus.--No funds described in subsection (d)(1) may be provided by contract or by grant (including a grant of funds to be available for student aid) to an institution of higher education (including any subelement of such institution) if the Secretary of Defense determines that that institution (or any subelement of that institution) has a policy or practice (regardless of when implemented) that either prohibits, or in effect prevents-- (1) the Secretary of a military department from maintaining, establishing, or operating a unit of the Senior Reserve Officer Training Corps (in accordance with section 654 of this title and other applicable Federal laws) at that institution (or any subelement of that institution); or (2) a student at that institution (or any subelement of that institution) from enrolling in a unit of the Senior Reserve Officer Training Corps at another institution of higher education.

A famous talk show host once said the purpose of the military is to kill people and break things. A truer statement about the military has rarely been spoken. Another statement about the military that is equally as true is that the purpose of the military is NOT to be a place for social experimentation and tolerance for “diversity” of sexual preference and gender equity. The reason why we have survived as free nation for 230 years is because we kill people and break things better than anyone else. And it just so happens that heterosexual males tend in most cases, to be better at killing people and breaking things that women or gay men.

It is a fact that these mostly young, mostly heterosexual, males who do a fine job of killing people and breaking things are the very reason these simpering ninnies have the freedom and leisure time to piss away worrying about how allowing the ROTC to recruit people to defend our freedom on their campus fits into their little non-discrimination circle jerk. The fact that these simpering ninnies are too ignorant to know this doesn’t make this any less true. And because of another simpering ninny – their brother in ideology William Jefferson “I have come to loathe the military” Clinton -- and his slashing of the military by 40% in the name of reinventing government, the mission of these ROTC recruiters has never been more crucial.

Of course the ninnies at the UCSB are hardly alone in their opposition to military recruiters on campus. They may be hiding their leftist pacifist bent behind some ridiculous “non-discrimination” policy, but we hear stories nearly every week about leftists protesting, sometimes violently, the right of military recruiters to talk to interested young patriots about the possibility of serving their country in the military. Seems that these leftist ninnies are tolerant of all views and beliefs that mirror theirs but have no tolerance at all for the people who defend with their lives the right of these idiots to be intolerant little leftist bigots who hide behind the ruse of “discrimination”. If these lefties are too stubborn or too ignorant to realize crucial role the military plays in keeping them free to spout their ignorant BS, it’s time to de-fund them.

Source

Oh how I laughed.

And Laughed. In fact I even 'lol' ed a bit
posted by qwerty155 at 5:16 AM on June 23, 2005

Happy Summer everyone!
posted by drezdn at 8:15 AM on June 23, 2005

commie bureaucrats

simpering ninnies

Man, I wasn't convinced until I read those characterizations of this guy's invisible enemies. Now I am. "Ninny". So funny. So true. So clear-headed. So substantive.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:23 AM on June 23, 2005

FUCK summer, man. 95 degrees 90% humidity? I can do without that very well, thanks. The only two seasons in which Chicago is fit for human habitation are fall and spring.

(Gah. Who's to say what an "acceptable" time limit is? Haven't we had enough of this cheap moralizing? Now pardon me while I perform a hysterectomy on my sleeping wife.)
posted by kenko at 8:30 AM on June 23, 2005

The only two seasons in which Chicago is fit for human habitation are fall and spring.

Hey, you don't have to tell me, I live in Milwaukee, which weather-wise is like Chicago except colder in the winter.
posted by drezdn at 9:15 AM on June 23, 2005

500 NULL?!?

What the hell is that? It reminds me of the last time I got a reverse vasectomy in order to impregnate my hesitant-to-motherhood wife: tons of fun.

And seriously, what would America be without simplistic moralizing? A paradise, that's what. And nobody wants that.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:23 AM on June 23, 2005

A reverse vasectomy is where they hook up another set of balls to your wang for exxxtra impregnation power, right? Rockin'.

500 Null is "this thread is closed to new comments" by other means.
posted by kenko at 9:47 AM on June 23, 2005

Shouldn't that be eXXXtra?
posted by gramschmidt at 10:46 AM on June 23, 2005

We're not hurting Metafilter, we're just testing the edge of its capabilities. We're like Chuck Yeager in a pasley longboat.
posted by dial-tone at 10:54 AM on June 23, 2005

Wasn't 500 Null one of the members of 10,000 Maniacs? Or a friend of 50 Cent (without whom his rap group C-Note would've been half-a-C). Or a ringer in the Million Man March? Or the inventor of the $100,000 candy bar?

And I thought we'd passed a law against letting gramschmidt have a reverse vasectomy.

and qwerty155, that piece of fiction you cut and pasted was probably the biggest waste of bandwidth in the history of 9622v2... Except, maybe some Dittobrains Googling some of PardonMyExcrement's quotable bits may end up here, causing their heads to explode - which would have very little effect on their daily lives.
posted by wendell at 10:55 AM on June 23, 2005

SPERM
posted by kenko at 11:41 AM on June 23, 2005

So, what's up with paisley, anyway? Who was who thought that squashed protozoa would make a good pattern for clothes?
posted by kenko at 11:50 AM on June 23, 2005

gentlemen! gentlemen please!

Is it the increasing temperature or the mere thought of the end of the thread that has brought on these angry comments? I'll admit that the thought of a tribe of gramschmidts posting to future Meta-whatevers does give one pause, but is not moderation a virtue to be practiced?

Now an answer to "what's up?"

I encountered a large "null 500" when attempting to post a witty comment early Thursday AM. My comment was the best, funniest, most scintillating post ever, but alas! it disappeared and "null 500" appeared with only yhbc's original comment made way back in the mists of time - June 6, 2005.

I went to my user page and clicked on my embarrassing number of comments in order to ascertain the permanence of the above-mentioned disappearance. While sneaking in by this back door, I posted a couple more comments. :-)

This testimony is true and factual to the best of my knowledge
posted by Cranberry at 1:53 PM on June 23, 2005

offers sincere condolences to those suffering from soaring temperatures while sitting comfortably in air conditioned house. mwahahahaha
posted by Cranberry at 1:57 PM on June 23, 2005

Threatens to email qwerty155's mother about getting nanny software for qwerty's computer. goodness! the sites he visits!

Did you notice on the left (hah) of that site the car parked by that old shed? Must be about a 1934 model. Cutting edge for conservatism?
posted by Cranberry at 2:05 PM on June 23, 2005

This poster has also (sadly) had a few comments Null-ed or Jrun-ed into obliteration. There is a part of me that wonders if it is the very act of trying to extend this masterpeice / trainwreck that caused MeFi's poor delicate brain to blow up.

It saddens me.

Speaking of soaring temperatures. Inside my house (cooler than outside!) was 88 farenheit (no idea how to spell that Americanism) when I got home from work last night. I wanted to come curl up in the comfort of the longboat, but the heat melted my resolve, and weakened my muscles to the point of not being able to lift my head. I failed. *sniff*
posted by raedyn at 3:48 PM on June 23, 2005

heartened that raedyn has shared ignominy of savaged comments.
regrets chortling about central AC.
offers raedyn pan of ice and electric fan.
posted by Cranberry at 4:17 PM on June 23, 2005

suggests paisley-patterned cloth wrung out of cold water applied to raedyn's wrists, back of neck and forehead.
posted by Cranberry at 4:22 PM on June 23, 2005

Is 9622v2 really a cult thread?

I say *cough* hypocrite *cough*.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:24 PM on June 23, 2005

Suggests paisley neckcloth, and nothing else, for raedyn.

Makes insinuation about heat and melting resolve.
posted by kenko at 8:17 PM on June 23, 2005

MetaFilter: a poor, delicate brain that exists merely to ennervate 9622v2

really just a placeholder comment to make checking up ever so much easier
posted by birdsquared at 10:15 PM on June 23, 2005

loves being first in new day
thinks saying nya-nyah is undignified
posted by Cranberry at 12:06 AM on June 24, 2005

So is Dean Keaton Keyser Soze?
posted by drezdn at 12:31 AM on June 24, 2005

had forgotten Keyser Soze! wonders what underlies this conjecture.

is drezdn Dresden?
posted by Cranberry at 12:38 AM on June 24, 2005

Outrage! It's an outrage!
posted by gramschmidt at 9:36 AM on June 24, 2005

A horny half mule.

(Hi, Cranberry.)
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:37 AM on June 24, 2005

Almost nine hours without an extremely large




DAMMIT








posted by gramschmidt at 9:39 AM on June 24, 2005

Or an inferior variation thereon:




DAMN IT







posted by gramschmidt at 9:41 AM on June 24, 2005

When Lauer mentioned Cruise's earlier criticism of Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants, Cruise told the 'Today' show co-host he didn't know what he was talking about.

'You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do,' Cruise said.

The interview became more heated when Lauer, who said he knew people who had been helped by the attention-deficit disorder drug Ritalin, asked Cruise about the effects of the drug.

'Matt, Matt, you don't even -- you're glib,' Cruise responded. 'You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Matt, OK. That's what I've done.'

posted by kenko at 9:48 AM on June 24, 2005

*sniff*


That's so


beautiful,


kenko.


I may cry.





posted by gramschmidt at 9:58 AM on June 24, 2005

Thank you all for your kindly gestures. I've discovered that paisley gives me a terrible rash.

But have no fear! My resolve is still substantially melted! *wiggles eyebrows seductively at kenko*
posted by raedyn at 10:16 AM on June 24, 2005

Tries to wink at raedyn, finds he can only manage an extremely unsubtle blink.
posted by kenko at 12:07 PM on June 24, 2005

*giggle*

*hip wiggle*
posted by raedyn at 1:40 PM on June 24, 2005

oh.my.god. did I just giggle on Mefi?

seriously, giggle? I'm sure this is a no-giggle zone. Didn't Ethereal Bligh make that a law or something? Giggling strictly forbidden. Absolutely no fun to be had.

*jumps out of the longboat, starts swimming out into the ocean*
posted by raedyn at 1:43 PM on June 24, 2005

throws a life-saver to raedyn. never mind what flavor.
posted by Cranberry at 2:18 PM on June 24, 2005

giggles at raedyn's thinking this is no-giggle zone. giggling in the blue would surely generate reproof; giggling in the green would just not be polite - like laughing at people whose electronic gadgets will not behave. this must be the place for giggling.
posted by Cranberry at 2:20 PM on June 24, 2005

I thought this thread was off limits to Scientologists.
posted by wendell at 2:37 PM on June 24, 2005

Decides against giggling.

Guffaws.

Hocks up a loogie.
posted by wendell at 2:46 PM on June 24, 2005

Giggles at the sight of Wendell's loogie.
posted by Nice Donkey at 2:52 PM on June 24, 2005

Giggles at the thought of Scientology.
posted by Nice Donkey at 2:53 PM on June 24, 2005

Giggles at Tom Cruise.
posted by Nice Donkey at 2:56 PM on June 24, 2005

Giggles at all religion, not just Scientology.
posted by Nice Donkey at 2:57 PM on June 24, 2005

Hey everybody, remember that time when raedyn giggled? What's up with that? It's like the time she giggled.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:59 PM on June 24, 2005

DECREE: Nice Donkey is a girl.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:01 PM on June 24, 2005

DECREE: Nice Donkey giggled, without wacky sugar cubes.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:07 PM on June 24, 2005

DECREE: MONSTROUS



LINKS



ARE




GRAND





posted by gramschmidt at 3:16 PM on June 24, 2005

DECREE: HTML is subversive.

CSS is subversive.

Where the fuck is grapefruitmoon?

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?

Me? A piece of gum. A burst of flavor ensued, I assure you.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:28 PM on June 24, 2005

throws a life-saver to raedyn. never mind what flavor. - Cranberry
Where the fuck is grapefruitmoon? - gramschmidt

*grabs life-saver, sighs with relief*
*rests head on life-saver, panting*
*tongue touches life-saver, tastes grapefruit, gets worried*
posted by raedyn at 3:39 PM on June 24, 2005

What makes you think I'm a girl, gramschmidt? Is it just one of those random-animal-gender-associations, like when cats are referred to as "she" and dogs are referred to as "he"? Maybe in your mind donkeys are generally associated with "she" and horses with "he"? What about mules?
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:50 PM on June 24, 2005

Yes, WHAT OF MULES? What?
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:51 PM on June 24, 2005

Or do you think I'm a girl because of my gratuitous use of the caps-lock and exclamation points???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:55 PM on June 24, 2005

What if I was much bigger? What

would you think of me then??
posted by Nice Donkey at 4:02 PM on June 24, 2005

Because you're right.
posted by Nice Donkey at 4:07 PM on June 24, 2005

Was it the giggling? It was the giggling, wasn't it? Be honest.
posted by Nice Donkey at 4:09 PM on June 24, 2005

There is no thinking involved. I decreed it.

Nay, forsooth, I have shewn it henceforth to have been decree'd.
posted by gramschmidt at 4:17 PM on June 24, 2005

BIG



QUESTION:









Is this Nice Donkey?









posted by gramschmidt at 4:29 PM on June 24, 2005

I've discovered that paisley gives me a terrible rash. Wow. I hope it isn't serious.
posted by geekyguy at 5:31 PM on June 24, 2005

Nice Donkeys are always female; Nasty Donkeys are male.

Of course, I have heard of female Wendells (or Wendalls), but they're usually called Wendy. It would be nice if they were consistantly WendEll for boys, WendALL for girls, but they aren't. Which is one reason I have trouble with gender roles.

But then, I certainly don't wear a "hot for quonsar" t-shirt as well as scody. Or, most likely, grapefruitmoon, raedyn, Cranberry or even Nice Donkey. And maybe geekguy.
posted by wendell at 8:28 PM on June 24, 2005

What if I were much bigger.



Sheesh.
posted by kenko at 10:45 PM on June 24, 2005

if you were much bigger, would you wear a "hot for quonsar" t-shirt?
what would you wear if you were much smaller?
posted by Cranberry at 12:13 AM on June 25, 2005

BIG




in Japan only.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:03 AM on June 25, 2005

Huge everywhere else.

posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:06 AM on June 25, 2005

I had a dream.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:26 AM on June 25, 2005

I had an awesome dream.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:27 AM on June 25, 2005

There were people in the park.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:28 AM on June 25, 2005

Playing games in the dark.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:29 AM on June 25, 2005

And what they played was a game of hockey, using Lionel Richie's skull as a puck.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:30 AM on June 25, 2005

It wasn't a masquerade at all.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:31 AM on June 25, 2005

The song lied. What a disappointment.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:34 AM on June 25, 2005

But not this song:


I've been drifting along in the same stale old shoes
Loose ends tying a noose in the back of my mind
If you thought that you were making your way
To where the puzzles and pagans lay
Put it together, it's a strange invitation

When I wake up someone will sweep up my lazy bones
And we will rise in the cool of the evening
I remember the way that you smiled
When the gravity shackles were wild
And something is vacant when I think it's all beginning

I've been drifting along in the same stale old shoes
Loose ends tying a noose in the back of my mind
If you thought that you were making your way
To where the puzzles and pagans lay
Put it together, it's a strange invitation
posted by gramschmidt at 9:35 AM on June 25, 2005

Despite persistent rumours to the contrary, I am certainly *not* the eggman.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:38 AM on June 25, 2005

Nor am I the walrus, but thanks for asking.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:40 AM on June 25, 2005

Okay, but is there a starman waiting in the sky?
posted by gramschmidt at 9:53 AM on June 25, 2005

From the American Heritage® Book of English Usage.: "According to traditional rules, you use the subjunctive to describe an occurrence that you have presupposed to be contrary to fact: if I were ten years younger, if America were still a British Colony."

Also: "When the situation described by the if clause is not presupposed to be false, however, that clause must contain an indicative verb."

So, you're presupposing that I can't just eat a magic sugar cube and become much bigger? (One cube makes you larger, and one cube makes you small...)

Also: "In practice, of course, many people ignore the rules. In fact, over the last 200 years even well-respected writers have tended to use the indicative was where the traditional rule would require the subjunctive were. A usage such as If I was the only boy in the world may break the rules, but it sounds perfectly natural."

Cut me some slack. Sheesh!

On the other hand: 'According to traditional thought, statements about the conditional future such as “If I were a carpenter . . .” require the subjunctive “were"; but “was” is certainly much more common. Still, if you want to impress those in the know with your usage, use “were.” '

So, thanks, kenko. I'll use were in the future.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:09 AM on June 25, 2005

Well, I *have* been a naughty girl.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:46 AM on June 25, 2005

gramschmidt wrote "When I wake up someone will sweep up my lazy bones" . gets broom, mutters about darn kids
posted by Cranberry at 11:55 AM on June 25, 2005

decides not to order walrus eggs from goodnewsfortheinsane
posted by Cranberry at 12:01 PM on June 25, 2005

is "in the know" about was v. were; thus is impressed with nice donkey's grammar. wonders what nice donkey wore to the prom, paisley pants suit with matching shoes?
posted by Cranberry at 12:10 PM on June 25, 2005

Wore the paisley pants suit, but was only able to find four of the same shoes in my size in a garish houndstooth pattern. Afraid that a terrible fashion faux pas was committed at prom.
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:54 PM on June 25, 2005

If you can't commit a fashion faux pas at the prom, how else are you gonna learn? Suggests many Awards Show/Movie Premiere fashion victims never had a prom.
posted by wendell at 6:54 PM on June 25, 2005

gulps down margarita, gets dressed for dance. Fashion faux pas? possible, but false step may apply to dancing.
Prom? of course not. for grown ups only.
posted by Cranberry at 7:22 PM on June 25, 2005

Oh, Moscow, I forgot
You were there; I was not
Turned away my face to another
Continent—flashy lover.
posted by kenko at 9:56 AM on June 26, 2005

(invocation):Tell of the birth
Tell how war appeared on earth

Thunder and herbs
Conjugated sacred verbs
Musicians with gongs
Fertilised an egg with song
Asleep in the sphere
Her foetus was a Knot of fear
She butted with her horn
Split an egg and war was Born
A miracle of hate
She banged her spoon against her plate

Upon her spoon this motto,
Wonderfully designed:
"Violence completes the partial mind"

Stacking the bones
On the empty aerodrom
Tinted turtle green
She haunts the slender submarine
She shakes her gory locks
Over the deserted docks

Come follow me
Out of dark obscurity
Follow my torch
Pilgrims at the double march
Through meadows & seas
Abattoirs and libraries
The pilgrims increase
Boasting they are led by peace
They gut huts with gusto
Pillage villages with verve
War does what she has to
People get what they deserve.
posted by kenko at 10:06 AM on June 26, 2005

Resolves not to post to 9622v2. "I'm not going to post again.... No, really, I mean it. I am not going to post again. Today, just for today, I will not post."

On preview: Dammit!
posted by bigbigdog at 1:50 PM on June 26, 2005

It's remarkable how much better Pierrot Lunaire's second album, Gudrun, is than their first, self-titled album.
posted by kenko at 2:02 PM on June 26, 2005

Amazon has this to say about Pierrot Lunaire:

Italian remastered digipak reissue of the progressive rock artists 1974 debut album, considered a milestone of Italian progressive rock.

I must confess, I was unaware that Italian progressive rock was ever in the position to have milestones, let alone other kinds of stones.

Comparisons?
posted by gramschmidt at 2:59 PM on June 26, 2005

Let's all make fun of Italian progressive rock, said the aging fan of Yes, ELP and Focus...

(yodeleeda, yodeleeda, yodeleeda, yodeleeda, yodeleeda, yodeleeda, yo, ha ha!)
posted by wendell at 3:13 PM on June 26, 2005

Oh yeah, Italian prog was a pretty fertile scene. Lots of bands were in a kind of symphy/Genesis mode (or such is my understanding, I'm not into that stuff that much), but Area, for instance, was fantastic.

Not sure what to say about Pierrot Lunaire. Some of it is folky/pretty, and in general it's not as bombastic as the music that their peers made, but it's also just not that good ("Ganzheit" and "Mandragola" are the best tracks IMO--though I say this after only one listen). Part of the folky impression is the general percussionlessness. Franco Battiato with harpsichord and acoustic guitar instead of piles of analog synths, maybe? Listening to "Sotto i Ponti" now (not sure how to capitalize titles in Italian), it's quite poppy, has a pretty piano line going on. It's pretty cinematic, too (the album as a whole, that is, not just this song) in which respect it resembles some current groups—Migala, say—except it lacks the post-rocky tendency to build to a predictable climax.

But Gudrun is much, much better, and altogether odder.
posted by kenko at 3:18 PM on June 26, 2005

Offers trite apology for temporary abandonement of thread due to internet downtime and that pesky real life thing getting in the way. Won't let it happen again.

Has returned with plenty of sugar cubes for Nice Donkey.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:23 PM on June 26, 2005

I'm only linking to this review/recap of Pierrot Lunaire's albums because the dude made the same Battiato connection as did I.

On preview, welcomes grapefruitmoon back.
posted by kenko at 3:25 PM on June 26, 2005

shares bigbigdog's addiction. so ashamed. makes deal: will quit posting late July 5th if everyone else will.
posted by Cranberry at 4:49 PM on June 26, 2005

Grapefruitmoon - expect the swimmers very early July 6th morning. we will be glad to clamber into the longboat.
posted by Cranberry at 4:49 PM on June 26, 2005

thinks posters who have persevered should consider award ceremony when we get to Iceland. knows mefites are artistic - suggests opening registration of designs for award. medal? baldric? ribbon? tiara? embossed reins? grapefruit spoons?
HEY the Order of the Grapefruit Spoon! that has a ring to it. but perhaps Order of the Longboat would be more popular. Will someone tally? or write casu marzu and ask him to return?
posted by Cranberry at 4:59 PM on June 26, 2005

note that this is - NOT COMPETITION -. competition is so warlike. we are all in the same longboat. we can vote like grownups for favored design.
posted by Cranberry at 5:05 PM on June 26, 2005

Oh, so goood..... Yes...... MMmm...... Awww yeah......

Dammit!!!
posted by bigbigdog at 9:19 PM on June 26, 2005

Man, this thread is having trouble loading... Must make it to the end.
posted by dial-tone at 9:52 PM on June 26, 2005

Wakes up on lawn again.
Notices bigbigdog humping his leg.
Wonders if anyone noticed that Ocean Spray has branched out from cranberry juice to... ruby red grapefruit! Or do you have to be totally American to understand that?
posted by wendell at 10:28 PM on June 26, 2005

Anyone else getting a shitload of blank space below the comment box?
posted by kenko at 7:13 AM on June 27, 2005

grapefruitmoon!! Now I feel comfortable in this thread again.

Italian rock? Nobody rocks like the Danes!

I heard a woman singing her song
and it was good and warm and strong
Oh oh oh
She made me cry, I don't know why.

I don't want to bring you down
I think it's good to be here
this is my life and I don't care!

MetaFilter: we are all in the same longboat.

Anyone else getting a shitload of blank space below the comment box?

Yes, this has been happening for a few days, and it's one of the things that's been discouraging me from visiting. I'm used to clicking on the thread and hitting "end," and now I have to crawl up from a deep hole. I'd post it on MeTa, but I'd probably wind up getting banned.

On preview: Goddammit, I accidentally hit "end" and had to crawl back up again. Somebody make it stop!
posted by languagehat at 7:36 AM on June 27, 2005

Or do you have to be totally American to understand that? - wendell (note to self: NOT wendy)
Well I'm totally Canadian, and I understand it. I dunno if our European friends would, though. I kind of doubt it.

Anyone else getting a shitload of blank space below the comment box? - kenko
Not I. At least, not at work (IE). At home on Firefox I didn't notice it last night. But that could be more due to lack of attention than lack of blank space.

thinks posters who have persevered should consider award ceremony when we get to Iceland - Cranberry
I vote "order of the longboat" tiaras for all.
posted by raedyn at 7:52 AM on June 27, 2005

Note to self (for indubitably I shall never experience difficulty finding it again in THIS MESS): When clicking links within the realm referred to as '9622v2' among the elite stratocasters of the multiverse, always, always, always use the middle-mouse button, thus avoiding the sub-comment-box pitfall known as the "pitfall" among me and mine. (Tags: note self JimmyCrackedCorn longboat bigStrongSmall immolation pitfall)
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:41 AM on June 27, 2005

Or do you have to be totally American to understand that?

Well I'm totally Canadian, and I understand it. I dunno if our European friends would, though. I kind of doubt it.

I got it, but I'm a bit of a geek (no Googling though, hey). They don't sell it in NL, AFAIK. Also, Manic Street Preachers have a song about it (they're from Wales), so it might be available in the UK.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:43 AM on June 27, 2005

Our ears are burning.
posted by raedyn at 8:53 AM on June 27, 2005

What is this deep void below I keep hearing about? I get turtles all the way down.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:17 AM on June 27, 2005

The bottomless pit that lives below the comment box is now taking up fully 3/4 of the page height.

This is outrageous! I am outraged!

(Between 500 Null, "acceptable time limit" issues and other difficulties, it's only taken me LIKE AN HOUR to post this. The death throes of 9622v2?)
posted by kenko at 9:36 AM on June 27, 2005

I find myself clicking "Preview", going to one of several other open windows on Firefox, and forgetting 9622v2 for a while (DAMN. I just Lost the Game), only to return an hour or more later, or, in this case, 11-and-a-half hours.
Goes back to sleep on lawn.
posted by wendell at 10:09 AM on June 27, 2005

*runs outside to turn off sprinklers*

Wendell must have been VERY tired.

*leaves wendell a towel for when he wakes up*
posted by raedyn at 10:17 AM on June 27, 2005

Hmm. So does this mean that 9622v2 is now also the Official Bug taz Thread?

If it would make things clearer (i.e., less clear), we could all go and post a few comments in other MeTa threads that are off the front page.

And I am categorically not going to do so right now.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:31 PM on June 27, 2005

Disclaimer: I have nothing whatsoever against taz. Except for that plate of mine she stole from a potluck once. No way! Don't even try it! It's totally mine, and you know it!

Fine. Just keep it. Dammit.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:40 PM on June 27, 2005

Did anyone else feel the 8.7 earthquake this morning?
posted by gramschmidt at 12:44 PM on June 27, 2005

Anyone? No?
posted by gramschmidt at 12:44 PM on June 27, 2005

That's unfortunate. Fucking Jimson weed again.

grapefruitmoon, I know that 9622v2 has eaten at least one of your laptops, but could you make me a whale sandwich to counteract the Jimson weed?
posted by gramschmidt at 12:49 PM on June 27, 2005

works for me today. have seen warnings, also blank space below. wonders if that is all the space allotted to this noble (ignoble?) venture.
posted by Cranberry at 12:52 PM on June 27, 2005

wonders if we should all use y2k tiny type to conserve space.
posted by Cranberry at 12:53 PM on June 27, 2005

Notes raedyn's vote for order of the longboat tiaras all around. Notes other posters failed to vote. launches into screed about civic duty.
posted by Cranberry at 12:54 PM on June 27, 2005

Gut-wrenching cry for mercy, made by everybody.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:13 PM on June 27, 2005

Wise observation that they do-on't know the meanin' of the word.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:14 PM on June 27, 2005

I took the baton.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:51 PM on June 27, 2005

I ran on into the darkness.
posted by gramschmidt at 1:57 PM on June 27, 2005

I intentionally committed an grammatical error, so I could go back and fix it later.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:03 PM on June 27, 2005

an => plastic wolf acorn
posted by gramschmidt at 2:07 PM on June 27, 2005

Grokster and StreamCast had argued that there were many legitimate uses for their technology, like the transmission of material in the public domain, and had pointed to the Supreme Court's decision more than 20 years ago involving the Betamax video recorder sold by the Sony Corporation to bolster its claims that they were not responsible for any copyright violations by their customers.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:09 PM on June 27, 2005

opens baton case. gasps
posted by Cranberry at 2:12 PM on June 27, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:27 PM on June 27, 2005

Dammit. I posted an image. Oh curse you, curse you, you alluring, seductive img tag. Your sensual lines, your coy, feminine manner, your hott "g".

Hott. HotT.

Extra letters add emphasis and power. Like spinning rims on a stretch Hummer limo. And, oddly, they produce the same amount of vomit.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:57 PM on June 27, 2005

img



posted by gramschmidt at 3:27 PM on June 27, 2005

marquee




posted by gramschmidt at 3:33 PM on June 27, 2005

Interesting. No abyss on the browser at home, and yet both here and at work I'm using Firefox.

Very interesting.

2264 comments, so far, and 408 of them by gramschmidt.
posted by kenko at 3:59 PM on June 27, 2005

9622v2



broke



MetaFilter





posted by gramschmidt at 4:14 PM on June 27, 2005

kenko



broke



MetaFilter





posted by gramschmidt at 4:15 PM on June 27, 2005

Cranberry



broke



9622v2





posted by gramschmidt at 4:17 PM on June 27, 2005

Cranberry



shot



JR





posted by gramschmidt at 4:19 PM on June 27, 2005

kenko busted gramschmidt?
posted by Cranberry at 4:19 PM on June 27, 2005

the big tag



will never lose



its novelty





posted by gramschmidt at 4:20 PM on June 27, 2005

Wearing an olive drab
but feeling somehow inside opalescent
Wonder how I'm managing to smile oh
when I can't even pay my rent
Maybe it's because I've finally found
my little tulip my Norge dear
Funny how in spite of all my woes
life can appear rosy and clear
rosy and clear

And I'm dizzy from her kiss
so vertiginous lost in lysergic bliss

Love the way you wear your curly hair
sanguine and spiraling tied in a bun
Love the way it falls about your face
mercurially gilded by the sun
If we were a pair of jigsaw puzzle pieces
we would connect so perfectly
Creating a still photo of a scene
from the Phantom of Liberty
posted by gramschmidt at 4:26 PM on June 27, 2005

shot JR? fears gramschmidt is dreaming (hallucinating?)
Acknowledges never seeing "Dallas", but absorbing soap opera through pores and relentless pr
posted by Cranberry at 4:28 PM on June 27, 2005

Today we have naming of parts, bitch!
posted by kenko at 5:35 PM on June 27, 2005

Here's a list of good things to drink in the summer when it's hot:

Cold water.
Gin & tonic.
Variations on the bitters-lime-tonic theme, with Angostura, peach or orange bitters (orange not as good as either of the other two). You'll want three dashes bitters and a decent amount of lime juice\u2014even the juice of a whole lime isn't unheard of if it's reluctant to give the stuff up (and, like me, you don't have an awesome juicer). It can also be good to add 1.5 or 2oz of bourbon, if you're using Angostura bitters.
Campari and bitter lemon.
Bitter lemon without campari.
Probably gin & bitter lemon.

Suggestions?
posted by kenko at 6:28 PM on June 27, 2005

\u2014. Hah. That should, of course, be an —.
posted by kenko at 6:33 PM on June 27, 2005

*twitches from the blinking in kenko's post*

Now I'm at home with Firefox and now I see the abyss.

*debates merits of reporting bug to our friendly neighbourhood admin, vs the risk of having
9622v2 cut off early*
posted by raedyn at 7:25 PM on June 27, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:33 PM on June 27, 2005

W
E
N
D
E
L
L

S
C
R
O
L
L
S
posted by wendell at 8:41 PM on June 27, 2005

juice\u2014even



posted by gramschmidt at 8:51 PM on June 27, 2005

The blink-y cats! The scroll-y Wendell! Oh 9622v2, what will I do on July 6th? How will I go on without you? I don't want to go back out to the blue. It's so big and overwhelming, and it loads like (comparative) lightning. I don't care if you're broken 9622v2, and I don't care if there is a huge abyss beneath you. I don't want to leave the longboat!

Dons longboat tiara. Buries head in bag of oats and wails.
posted by Nice Donkey at 8:54 PM on June 27, 2005

IIHAA is furthermore banned from this thread.
I put up with non-compliance to my previous directives, but what he did on the blue is beyond the pale... blue.

If anyone ever asks me, I HAVE NO If I Had an Anus.

(and thanks for the towel, raedyn... I couldn't hitchhike the galaxy without it)
posted by wendell at 9:40 PM on June 27, 2005

frightened by sound like, well like wailing donkey!
hides behind longboat. moonlight glitters on Order of the Longboat tiara. throws towel over tiara.
posted by Cranberry at 11:26 PM on June 27, 2005

And now I just lost The Game, too.

Dammit!
posted by bigbigdog at 11:41 PM on June 27, 2005

PS: Quantity does not necessarily equal quality.

It's like a mantra. Repeat it. Ummmm. Yah.

Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, uh huh.

On preview: My, that came out sounding rather combative. Perhaps some warm milk is in order tonight!
posted by bigbigdog at 11:48 PM on June 27, 2005

Wakes up, abandons plan to create a gif of my next comment going *p00f* per wendell's decree (to be posted by my puppet master). Wonders whether my most egregious faux pas was the self-link, talking about the long boat in the blue, or the fact I smell of ganja and lysol.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:13 AM on June 28, 2005

QUANTITY



+



SIZE



ALWAYS



EQUALS



QUALITY,



BIGBIGDOG





posted by gramschmidt at 9:47 AM on June 28, 2005

We'll never make 1730 kitten gifs.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:52 AM on June 28, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:32 AM on June 28, 2005

Wendell is allergic to cats.

Puts tissue over face, picks up IIHAA by scruff of neck, and throws catblogger out third-story window. Pets bigbigdog and gives him chew toy. Tries to take gramschmidt's html toys, backs off when gram growls angrily. Adds "clean Nice Donkey's stable" to to-do list.
posted by wendell at 11:27 AM on June 28, 2005

drops in. scurries away. this place is becoming a zoo.
posted by Cranberry at 2:40 PM on June 28, 2005

The only girl I've ever loved
posted by gramschmidt at 4:04 PM on June 28, 2005

Was born with roses in her eyes
posted by gramschmidt at 4:09 PM on June 28, 2005

But then they buried her alive
One evening 1945
With just her sister at her side
And only weeks before the guns
All came and rained on everyone
Now she's a little boy in Spain
Playing pianos filled with flames
On empty rings around the sun
All sing to say my dream has come

But now we must pick up every piece
Of the life we used to love
Just to keep ourselves
At least enough to carry on
posted by gramschmidt at 4:13 PM on June 28, 2005

this place is becoming a zoo. - Cranberry

Funny, I was thinking of it more like an ark.
posted by raedyn at 4:35 PM on June 28, 2005

Funny, I was thinking of it more like an ark.

Where's Kibo?
posted by kenko at 4:39 PM on June 28, 2005

*throws pebble against wendell's 3rd story window*
*rings doorbell*

*yells "Here, allergy boy, these are hairless."*


*runs*
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:18 PM on June 28, 2005

* Shrieks like a little girl, stomps on the mutant freak-beast and her hell-spawn, slams the door *

Damn, and I'm not even wendell. Don't ever do that with those - those - things again, to anyone!
posted by yhbc at 6:08 PM on June 28, 2005

Picks up nice, hairless, stomped-on kitties one by one and moves them to stable (now clean - thanks wendell!). Licks all their wounds. Curls up around them to keep them warm. Sticks tongue out at yhbc.
posted by Nice Donkey at 7:37 PM on June 28, 2005

What's with the hate, man? The HATE?


posted by Nice Donkey at 8:06 PM on June 28, 2005

Oh, you just go right ahead and keep making appeals for sympathy with pictures of big-eyed, bat-eared, hairless kittens, because at the end of the day, they're still hairless kittens.




























































Okay, that last one's kind of cute.
Too bad it doesn't have any hair, though.
posted by yhbc at 8:52 PM on June 28, 2005

quantity + size = quality

Tee hee. Guess that's why there's a bigbigdog running loose in the yard!
posted by bigbigdog at 9:47 PM on June 28, 2005

Even bald things need love!
*Turns around and falls into gigantic abyss that is yhbc's last comment*
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:14 PM on June 28, 2005

Gets confused about which abyss is which. Is this the pre- or post- comment box abyss? Nevermind. I'll just have a sugarcube.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:18 PM on June 28, 2005

Bald things need love, alright. So, where is the queue to get loved?
posted by dg at 10:45 PM on June 28, 2005

waste not, want not.
on july 6th, we'll be whining for an abyss to write in.
think we are the only ones counting the hours?
considers changing nick to cassandra
posted by Cranberry at 11:09 PM on June 28, 2005

dg is very skilled for a bald cat!
posted by Cranberry at 11:11 PM on June 28, 2005

Gary Coleman is very skilled for short dude.

I dunno what all this doomsday poo poo is about. We could just pick up and move like 9622 forefathers did. Does flickr support the big tag?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:02 AM on June 29, 2005

I actually used to have one of those freaky looking cats. They are even uglier in person. But he was a sweetheart, a cuddler. Due to the severe lack of hair, he was always looking for somewhere warm to sleep. Like on top of the stove while the oven was on, on top of the fridge in the sun, or on a heating vent when the furnace was running. You'd think he was cold blooded or something. When he was super cozy, he used to lower his ears in ecstacy, and go into a closed-eye zen-like state. When he did that, he looked exactly like Yoda (less green perhaps, but otherwise...).

Hate to break it to y'all, but some people (such a my father) still have allergic reaction to hairless cats. Because the cats still have dander. But they sure do make a good conversation peice - once people realize it's not an overgrown rat running loose in the house.

*enters Nice Donkey's stable to go pet the kittens*
posted by raedyn at 7:09 AM on June 29, 2005

*Shaves self, acts like a cat in an attempt to be loved*
posted by dial-tone at 8:27 AM on June 29, 2005

I consider hairless cats to be legitimately cute, because I define them as such. Why should this MetaChat bunny be allowed to have a corner on cuteness?

Traditional cuteness is fine, but I for one feel that the time is upon us to expand our definitions of cute.
posted by gramschmidt at 9:28 AM on June 29, 2005

We could just pick up and move like 9622 forefathers did.

Yes! We will sail our longboat to other, more welcoming shores, where the portcullis does not slam down after 30 days, and the hairless cats have no dander.

Yes, we have no cat dander,
We have no cat dander today...
posted by languagehat at 2:27 PM on June 29, 2005

In the meantime, may I suggest that we all check out some hair-ful kittens on the National Zoo Cheetah cam? (You have to scroll down. And there's more than one camera.) Baby cheetahs! What could be better? I mean, besides a big-eyed, bat-eared, hairless kitten?
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:40 PM on June 29, 2005

Yes, we have no cat dander,
We have no cat dander today...

That explains why the bananas are making me sneeze.
posted by wendell at 4:30 PM on June 29, 2005

Man. Whale sandwiches and tiaras? Where do you guys expect me to get all this on a budget?

Do they have this stuff at Ikea?

You guys better hurry up with that longboat, I'm leaving the country next week and I don't want to leave you all floating in the harbor.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:54 PM on June 29, 2005

Yes! We will sail our longboat to other, more welcoming shores, where the portcullis does not slam down after 30 days, and the hairless cats have no dander.

I hear that across the pond there's a land where all is elegant conversation, introspective drinks, and witty soul-searching. Of course we'd need a guide...


posted by kenko at 5:05 PM on June 29, 2005

We should just keep hopping to new threads when this one is closed, like Jim Jones on a grand scale.
posted by dial-tone at 5:18 PM on June 29, 2005

Or maybe we'll all pretend not to know each other after this, but exchange knowing glances in hallways, on diewalks and other threads, like we had all seen a dead body together or had sex or saw Gigli.
posted by dial-tone at 5:21 PM on June 29, 2005

They have everything at Ikea. But it's all made of particle board and you have to put it together yourself. Oh, and you have to wade through a maze of nice-looking yet disposable furniture and a rash of children to get to what you want.
posted by Nice Donkey at 5:35 PM on June 29, 2005

Speaking of rashes, maybe we should compile a list of things wendell is allergic to, so we don't have any longboat mishaps.

I'll start:

1. Peanuts.
2. Cat dander.
3. Hairless cat dander.
4. People dander?
5. Bananas?
posted by Nice Donkey at 5:37 PM on June 29, 2005

I think dial-tone has a great idea. I propose that after this thread dies, we move on to MeTa 9723 (9722 having been deleted).
posted by kenko at 5:56 PM on June 29, 2005

Dial-tone: I just read your profile, and I saw that you were a ham at 16. I got my Amateur license when I was 11! Back in the day when you had to learn Morse code to get it. We were hardcore. Now they don't make you take the code test.

*Smiles smugly because poster out-did dial-tone's age of ham radio licensure*

*Sighs regretfully with knowledge that the heights of geekdom that dial-tone has obtained and surpassed were never even aspired to by poster*

Lapses into first person: I never built my own radio or anything. I just got into it because my dad and older brother thought it was cool, and hence so did I.

The longboat is safe, everyone! We have two ham radio operators aboard!
posted by Nice Donkey at 5:57 PM on June 29, 2005

I second the motion for mass movement to MeTa 9723 when 9622 is no longer viable.
posted by Nice Donkey at 6:08 PM on June 29, 2005

Oh yeah. . . Grapefruit, you're leaving the country? Will you have access to the longboat? Will you have access to whale meat sandwiches?
posted by Nice Donkey at 6:10 PM on June 29, 2005

Already on it.
posted by drezdn at 6:35 PM on June 29, 2005

Apparently it took us 22 days to take up romakimmy's suggestion, unless someone flew the Migs signal before and I forgot about it? It's been a long thread.
posted by kenko at 6:38 PM on June 29, 2005

pushes door closed against wind, shivers.

"Damn, it's cold out in the blue today."

ahh, it's good to be home on the waves.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:55 PM on June 29, 2005

Actually, kenko, the historian sent the signal earlier. But it was most certainly due again, and how could Migs resist "elegant conversation, introspective drinks, and witty soul-searching"? Thanks, you have embiggened us all.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:00 PM on June 29, 2005

Is this ham radio something I'd need an orifice to know about?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:11 PM on June 29, 2005

THE BIG TAG



WORKS FINE



OVER THERE.



SINCERELY,



ROBERT WADLOW



posted by gramschmidt at 7:24 PM on June 29, 2005

damn, dude, you are seriously drunk. Piss on the new carpet before the movers even arrive, why'n dontcha?

Hopes indignation will help hide his little accident in the corner.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:26 PM on June 29, 2005

Until July 6th, I am officially very excited about mathowie's tweaking of the "Links" page, and any comment I make over there will refer to this excitement.

Huzzah!
posted by gramschmidt at 7:28 PM on June 29, 2005

If I Had An Anus, despite your predicament, I still call you friend. For this is what vikings and indians who have shared combat do.

At least according to my picture book from the 40s.



posted by gramschmidt at 7:39 PM on June 29, 2005

Band name: Importunate Anus.
posted by kenko at 7:46 PM on June 29, 2005

Not only does Kyle Gann know everything there is about the history of tuning, he's got him a mean chili recipe, too.
posted by kenko at 7:59 PM on June 29, 2005

Band name: Anal Import.

Several meanings for the price of one. And the mothers of pre-adolescent fans would be appropriately shocked, which is essential.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:06 PM on June 29, 2005

You know, quite a lot of Harry Nilsson's Pandemonium Shadow Show and Aerial Ballet are just astonishingly akin to the Beatles. I know he was referred to as the American Beatle at times, but damn. There's one song on the latter album that makes you think he listened to "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite" and thought, "hey, that's a neat song, I should totally copy it!".
posted by kenko at 8:16 PM on June 29, 2005

The Beatles medley "You Can't Do That" is pretty swell, though.

Band name: Banal Explosive.
posted by kenko at 8:22 PM on June 29, 2005

A friend of mine claims that The Strokes are just a huge rip-off of The Kinks, but I don't see it. Certainly, Village Green has been a huge influence on dozens of bands, but I hear deeper shades of Davies in The Shins or Belle & Sebastian than The Strokes.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:36 PM on June 29, 2005

Band name: The Anality of Evil

complete list of things wendell is allergic to:
1. Peanuts*.
2. Cat dander.
3. Cat scratches.
4. Dander Don Meredith.
5. "Married With Children" reruns.
6. Peanut Butter Jelly Time (bananas are OK, but that dancing banana is contaminated)
7. Orange County Republicans.
8. Thong underwear.

incomplete list of things wendell is not allergic to but prefers not to come be exposed to:
1. Mushrooms.
2. Orange County Democrats.
3. College fraternities.
4. Auto parts.
5. Gangsta Rap.
6. Anus.

*edible ones, that is. Comic strips with Snoopy and Charlie Brown are tolerated much better than Garfield or Cathy.
posted by wendell at 9:17 PM on June 29, 2005

Jesus freakin' god. Why do I keep reading this trainwreck?!!

Oh yeah. Because it's cool.

And because I'm apparently obsessive-compulsive.

Awww yeahhhhhh baybeeeeee!
posted by bigbigdog at 9:37 PM on June 29, 2005

hmmmm. they are all sleeping again. sprinklers or not? why am I tortured by decisions
posted by Cranberry at 1:17 AM on June 30, 2005

perhaps if pony beggars keep #1 busy yak shaving, he will forget to close this monument. I do hate moving
Note that the yak is yet another animal in this zoo. Wendell? are you allergic to yaks?
posted by Cranberry at 1:27 AM on June 30, 2005

Excellent, I knew you guys would keep fighting the good fight.
I would like to apologise for my absence for the last week. I could sit and explain the reasons (for there are some quite good ones), but somehow bringing the realworld family shit here doesnt seem right.

I have a bit of catching up to do and I is replying to week old comments but.....

Threatens to email qwerty155's mother about getting nanny software for qwerty's computer. goodness! the sites he visits! - Cranberry

Hey, as an IT professional I can peruse whatever sites I want without risk to my computer - I HAVE THE POWER! HAR HAR.

and qwerty155, that piece of fiction you cut and pasted was probably the biggest waste of bandwidth in the history of 9622v2... Except, maybe some Dittobrains Googling some of PardonMyExcrement's quotable bits may end up here, causing their heads to explode - which would have very little effect on their daily lives. - Wendell

Thanks Wendell, I would have thought that there's quite some competition for that title but I'll happily claim it:

9622v2: A waste of bandwith (sorry, but, well you know kinda knew it already)
Qwerty - poster of the biggest waste of bandwith on 9622v2.

Ego, qwerty is the creator of THE BIGGEST WASTE OF BANDWITH IN THE HISTORY OF METAFILTER!! (except maybe Bevets - but he hasnt posted to this thread yet)
posted by qwerty155 at 3:55 AM on June 30, 2005

.....And what's with the HUGE space at the bottom of the thread? Has Mat just allocated us a load of space and said 'you have have that and no more' or does it just stay the same size all the time?

So is 9622v2 expanding at a uniform rate or is the expansion rate increasing or decreasing? What happens if the expansion rate is indeed decreasing? Will 9622v2 at some point stop expanding and then start contracting back in on itself? Will we all disappear back to an insignificant blip the size of a quark or one of those other sub-atomic particle that I have always failed to understand properly? Will we be able to extrapolate the data to help understand the origins of our universe? And will the longboat be ready in time?
posted by qwerty155 at 4:04 AM on June 30, 2005

With hindsight, can I put the 'professional' bit of IT professional in inverted commas?
posted by qwerty155 at 4:40 AM on June 30, 2005

Congratulations, qwerty, you posted posted the 2,345th comment, and one oh so apropos as well also too!

Let us all shake the tiara of THE BIGGEST WASTE OF BANDWITH IN THE HISTORY OF METAFILTER!!, shall we?

DING DING DING DING ding
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:26 AM on June 30, 2005

ding
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:29 AM on June 30, 2005

Yes that last comment was one entirely worth the hour long process of waiting the page to load, typing 4chars, hitting preview, waiting for the page to load, smoking a cigarette, waiting for my computer to init the javascript, hitting post, waiting for the page to load, experiencing the satisfaction of my 4tinychars all white against greybrown for a fleeting moment before my pc hung, rebooting, waiting for the page to load.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:34 AM on June 30, 2005

*rues treacherous timestamps which expose my exaggeration, zips pants*
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:40 AM on June 30, 2005

Ego, ergo what's the difference? I guess that truly is a Freudian slip.....
posted by qwerty155 at 6:41 AM on June 30, 2005

The huge space has come up before. I get it in Firefox on windows but not on linux.

I like to think of it as the yawning chasm that will engulf the thread in just one short week.

It's true there's nothing left for him down here.
posted by kenko at 9:06 AM on June 30, 2005

Wakes up on lawn. Dodges sprinklers left and right, heads inside to belatedly notice gramschmidt's excellent selection of Neutral Milk Hotel on the PA (the tweeters are blown and someone has peed into the left speaker). Does the secret longboat mess handshake with gram, thanks him for his Euro shout-out in 9742, but points out patronisingly that us euros really don't need a map to remember who's in the hood. Sees gram mumble something about monstrous ladders, then pass out. Wonders what time it is. Wonders if time matters in this mess ever at all. Shrugs, makes coffee anyway.

Now, the question is, who peed into the left speaker?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:07 AM on June 30, 2005

who peed into the left speaker?

Who cares? Just put it on eBay "as is," gnfti, we need to raise some funds.

I'll start whipping up some brownies for the bake sale. gram, will you donate one of those huge sculptures for the silent auction? Donkey, how much do you usually get for your worn panties?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:49 AM on June 30, 2005

Was that last question in poor taste? I meant for drezdn's worn panties, of course.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:13 AM on June 30, 2005

If I had an anus
I would use it to excrete
And if I had a longboat
I would put my donkey there
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Us upon our longboat with our LSD-laced sugar cubes.
posted by kenko at 10:46 AM on June 30, 2005

I've missed so much ever since I started having deadlines at work. I really like you guys and hope we can still hang out after this is over. Which thread will we be taking up or can I get the memo once that has been decided? I'm off to Green Bay for the next week+ so this is like, my last comment here.

You guys are just so damned cool. . . and that is one exceptionally nice donkey.
posted by Fezboy! at 11:34 AM on June 30, 2005

If it's her you want
That don't bother me
You can have my girl
But don't touch my donkey
posted by gramschmidt at 12:16 PM on June 30, 2005

You say you're not from the longboat
Man as if I couldn't tell
You think you pull your donkey right
And wear your tiara so well

So pardon me my laughter
'Cause I sure do understand
Even Moses got excited
When he saw the promised land

That's right you're not from Iceland
That's right you're not from Iceland
That's right you're not from Iceland
But Iceland wants you anyway
posted by Nice Donkey at 1:57 PM on June 30, 2005

Fezboy!: Stay cool! Let's not lose touch after graduation! Have a cool summer -k-

Here's my digits: MeTa9723
posted by Nice Donkey at 2:01 PM on June 30, 2005

The best-laid plans of donkey and fez gang aft agley.
posted by kenko at 2:40 PM on June 30, 2005

Gang Aft Agley?
Sounds like an classically-educated maritime-oriented criminal mob. (Or just another cool name for the 9622v2ers)
posted by wendell at 4:36 PM on June 30, 2005

Instead, you're all just horsing around like a bunch of toddlers on a sugar rush.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:00 PM on June 30, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:23 PM on June 30, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:32 PM on June 30, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:38 PM on June 30, 2005

Ok, the brownies are ready. Now, nobody touch them before the bake sale, ok? I'm gonna trust you guys while I'm gone. Don't make me booby trap the next batch.

Remember the buddy system everyone. And somebody, for kite's sake, round up schyler and longbaugh and everybody else, ok?

Why am I feeling this housemom thing today?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:04 PM on June 30, 2005

Fezboy gives a lame excuse for absence, then Packs it in (hah) and goes to Green Bay to play professional football. That is probably punishment enough for desertion, so shall we let him in the long boat? Some one has to row
posted by Cranberry at 7:50 PM on June 30, 2005

*stamps foot*
I want a brownie and I want it now.
Not in a week. Who is going to wait a week for a brownie?
They do not improve with age. Be reasonable IIHAA.
posted by Cranberry at 7:54 PM on June 30, 2005

You have plenty of time to make another batch before we have to board the good ship Jrun.
posted by Cranberry at 7:56 PM on June 30, 2005

These brownies, were they made with languagehat's special sugar?
posted by kenko at 8:15 PM on June 30, 2005

This planned migration -- Autobacterium lamberti.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:23 PM on June 30, 2005

Languagehat B. Toklas, I love you!
posted by wendell at 10:53 PM on June 30, 2005

Happy Canada Day.
And Happy Anniversary Superman. First comic book released July1, 1938.
posted by Cranberry at 12:24 AM on July 1, 2005

I'm having second thoughts about these whale sandwiches... apparently, I'm going whale watching this weekend and I'm a bit paranoid that someone's going to spill the beans to the whales. What if the whales decide that they want a grapefruitmoon sandwich? I'd be powerless to stop them!

Oddly enough, I never have these worries about cows. I like to believe that they're resigned to their fates as cheeseburgers.

And yeah, my longboat and I ship out July 8. From all these insinuations about July 6, I guess we'll be driving you kids home.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:06 AM on July 1, 2005

No, no, NO NO NO NONONONONONONO DON'T OPEN REALPLAYER
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, dammit, shit, fuck, I didn't notice it was a .ram file before I clicked it and I haven't reassigned all .ram files to go to a less evil program yet, dammit, fuck

*sigh*

Okay, okay. Whatever. Okay.

*sigh*

Whatever.

Fuck you, you slow motherfucking program, yes, go ahead and open up all the way before I close you down and uninstall you you bloated pile of contemptible nonsense.

Dammit.

Dammit.

Oh you're slow. Oh my Sweet Starry Christ-rocket you're slow.

Oh man.

Oh man.

*goes for coffee*
posted by gramschmidt at 9:51 AM on July 1, 2005

Moving words, gramschmidt.

If by 'moving words' you mean

GYOLBFW
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 11:46 AM on July 1, 2005

I would wait until after we no longer need to use the longboat before eating whale. Why offend them if we're going to be at sea?
posted by kenko at 12:27 PM on July 1, 2005

gnfti, I must admit that, in this instance, you are correct. I was entirely wrong regarding this issue, I yield to your analysis, and I wholeheartedly thank you for your suggestion. I can say, with all honesty, that I am, in fact, a Fantastic Watercloset and I have gone ahead and gotten, just now, my own Lesbian Barrister.

I am now a complete person. Thank you.

Duties of Texas Union Board Members:

* Reviewing and recommending policies affecting the operation of The Texas Union;
* Reviewing the Texas Union budget;
* Assessing the use of Union facilities and recommending expansion of facilities, activities and services as warranted;
* Working to achieve an appropriate balance among student programs, student services, special interests, revenue centers and fiscal stability.

Actions of the Board are subject to the approval of the UT President and the Board of Regents of the UT System.
posted by gramschmidt at 12:46 PM on July 1, 2005

Which (Currently active) Metefilter member has the most popular blog (judged by hit-count)? How about a non-blog site? Who is the most (web-influental) Mefi-member?
posted by kenko at 12:59 PM on July 1, 2005

What is truth?
Who is John Galt?
When does the longboat leave?
posted by languagehat at 1:15 PM on July 1, 2005

gnfti, I must admit that, in this instance, you are correct. I was entirely wrong

Yeah, that's right. What this little ol' thread needs is some conflict.

Lines need to be drawn. As gramschmidt's shameless provocation above makes abundantly clear, I am in one camp and he's in the other. Time to choose sides, people!

Now, who's with me?

*Paints longboat in war colours, sharpens sticks*
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:31 PM on July 1, 2005

posted by Feisty at 3:33 PM on July 1, 2005

OMG! What have you done to bigbigdog?!?

OK, langhat, I admit it. I am John Galt. But I am NOT Keyser Soze. And I did not shoot the Deputy, Dawg.

Which (Currently active) Metefilter member has the most popular blog (judged by hit-count)?
Checks counter. *Cries.*
posted by wendell at 4:30 PM on July 1, 2005

gnfti, you drew a line already, in 9723. And If I Had An Anus crossed it. Are you going to take that, uh, shit?
posted by kenko at 4:44 PM on July 1, 2005

posted by wendell at 4:45 PM on July 1, 2005

interesting.
posted by schyler523 at 5:57 PM on July 1, 2005

Wait, what are the sides from which to choose, again? And their platforms? None of them will have me anyway, will they?

Is it because I asked you to wait on the brownies? Is that why you all hate me?

Fine, eat them. Who cares if we only have the fur on our backs when we arrive in Iceland, right? We'll pull through, and the ones we lose will always be remembered.

Eat them all, let dios sort it out.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:39 PM on July 1, 2005

When the womenfolk come out 9622in' tonight, they will shake their heads at our warring ways. I'm sorry we are such ugly beasts, womenfolk. Feel free to stomp us like bald devilcat spawn. And I'm sorry, gnfti, it was truly an accident.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:47 PM on July 1, 2005

Is that why you all hate me?

Well, except for wendell. I know why he hates me.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:49 PM on July 1, 2005

it was truly an accident.

Accident meaning that <hr /> was soo beautiful. I couldn't help myself, I had to have her.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:54 PM on July 1, 2005

??? grapefruitmoon is leaving Iceland (temporarily|permanently) on July 8th ???
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:03 PM on July 1, 2005

o/` Que sera sera / Whatever will be, will be o/`

It's OK, IIHAA. We'll find some way to accomodate grapefruitmoon.

I know! Let's put on a show!
posted by kenko at 8:10 PM on July 1, 2005

How are these sketches for the costumes?


posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:40 PM on July 1, 2005

Is this really the thread's first scariest Vasco De Gama you have ever seen?


posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:57 PM on July 1, 2005

Those are a good start, but I think this is the direction we should be moving:


posted by gramschmidt at 9:06 PM on July 1, 2005

Proposition:

Vreaky de Gama vs. Bob "shut up I hack you" Dornan


posted by gramschmidt at 9:08 PM on July 1, 2005

Yes, grapefruitmoon is leaving Iceland permanently on July 8.

I'll be rejoining the land of the "free." I hear you've got an empty Supreme Court seat over there. I hear you also have weather above 9C. The former frightens me a bit, but the latter is quite a treat.

(Long story. Short version : met Icelander at college. dated long distance. Moved to Iceland. Married. Got f*cked by Icelandic Immigration law due to new law requiring immigrants applying by virtue of marriage to be 25. I am 23. Got lawyer. Got "student" visa. Have to leave country by October. Wanted to be home for at least part of summer. Oh yeah, got green card for husband with bare minimum of fuss.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:07 PM on July 1, 2005

*shakes head*

*stomps "men" of 9622 like bad devilcat spawn*

*notes that it's 5AM. Goes back to sleep.*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:18 PM on July 1, 2005

2400
posted by Cranberry at 10:47 PM on July 1, 2005

I must confess to being a bit worried about provisions. If we are to be picked up by gfm and her longboat on July 6th, then to leave Iceland on the 8th, what shall we live on while at sea until gfm returns to Iceland in October? Is anyone that fond of whale sandwiches?
I am near tears *blubbers*
posted by Cranberry at 11:00 PM on July 1, 2005

FOUL PUN CARD:


CRANBERRY


GETS 5 MINS


IN THE


PENALTY BOX


OR WHICHEVER


JARGONY FOOTBALL


PENALTY THING


MAKES THIS


JOKE CONSISTENT



posted by gramschmidt at 11:11 PM on July 1, 2005

When I rode in a trolley across your face with a Swedish man
I bet that wasn't in your plans for the day
My what a strange day
For poor little Nietzsche

Why so forlorn?
You know we love you Nietzsche
And all of your friends have come to see you Nietzsche
So let us see you Nietzsche
Everyone's waiting Nietzsche
Don't be so sneaky
posted by gramschmidt at 12:34 AM on July 2, 2005

When he smeared a candy bar across your face with a gloveless hand
I thought you'd never stop lashing the Swede
My what a strange day
For poor little Nietzsche

Why so forlorn?
You know we love you Nietzsche
And all of your friends have come to see you Nietzsche
So let us see you Nietzsche
Everyone's waiting Nietzsche
Don't be so sneaky
posted by gramschmidt at 12:54 AM on July 2, 2005

What more could be done on a day like today
Than to lock up your heart and quickly swallow the key
Now I'm gonna tell you something we can do
If you cut off my head I'll cut yours off for you
I'll cut it off for you
I'll cut it off for you
I'll cut it off for you
posted by gramschmidt at 12:59 AM on July 2, 2005

Poor little Nietzsche
posted by gramschmidt at 1:11 AM on July 2, 2005

Why so forlorn?
You know we love you Nietzsche
And all of your friends have come to see you Nietzsche
So let us see you Nietzsche
Everyone's waiting Nietzsche

Don't be so sneaky

What more could be done on a day like today
Than to lock up your heart and quickly swallow the key
posted by gramschmidt at 1:12 AM on July 2, 2005

I like the image of us tossing our heads at the Swedish man
I bet he'd never telephone us again
Not even to say
"My what a strange day
For poor little Nietzsche"

Why so forlorn?
You know we love you Nietzsche
And all of your friends have come to see you Nietzsche
Oh let us see you Nietzsche
Everyone's waiting Nietzsche
Don't be so sneaky
posted by gramschmidt at 1:40 AM on July 2, 2005

gramschmidt I think you have found your niche-y.
NO MORE RED CARDS! but I will meekly accept a yellow.
posted by Cranberry at 1:47 AM on July 2, 2005

I'm sorry guys I just really like drawing lines! I can't stop it! Look:

posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:38 AM on July 2, 2005

How did you do that? Straight lines I understand, but that one slopes like an Icelandic beach. (I don't dare try "View source" on this thread—my computer might explode.)

*nominates grapefruitmoon for Supreme Court vacancy*
posted by languagehat at 6:49 AM on July 2, 2005

languagehat: gntfi is having us on! It's an image, not a line at all!

BURN HIM FOR or AS FUEL
posted by kenko at 7:06 AM on July 2, 2005

Politely inquires as to grapefruitmoon's stance on Illinois v Brick.
posted by kenko at 8:00 AM on July 2, 2005

Neener neener goodnewsfortheinsane. I got a red card for a miserable pun, but you are going to be burned as fuel for desecrating the pristine face of 9622v2 with that line. It looks like a knife slit. Could you stitch it up or patch it? Maybe something in a floral?
Please do not make it bleed! That might draw sharks to the longboat.
posted by Cranberry at 11:15 AM on July 2, 2005

Sharks which we can then kill and eat! Better than pissing off the whales.
posted by kenko at 1:22 PM on July 2, 2005

You people are funny.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 1:56 PM on July 2, 2005

Don't be so sneaky, Nietzsche. (the 51st way to leave your lover?)

Whose Line Is It Anyway?

People Are Funny!

9622v2 has Jumped the Shark!
posted by wendell at 3:45 PM on July 2, 2005

about time already
posted by If I Had An Anus at 5:09 PM on July 2, 2005

But did it stick the landing?
posted by dial-tone at 7:05 PM on July 2, 2005

The shark ate it.
posted by kenko at 7:28 PM on July 2, 2005

Sorry. It's not a shark anymore. It's an alien tripod.

(Of course, I'm old enough to remember when it was a truck.)
posted by wendell at 9:49 PM on July 2, 2005

the whale ate the shark and is not allergic to Wendell.
posted by Cranberry at 9:52 PM on July 2, 2005

It's way too quiet here tonight, and I am being one funny SOB elesewhere at the MeTa...

On the "wakko thinks America sucks" thread, I invoked the memory of another Wakko, exposed his secret viral marketing plan and brought out the "good" china.

On the "Web 2.0" thread, I zinged quonsar and explained the difference between 'chaff' and 'chafe'.

And in the "most popular MeFite" thread, I did a "Newhart"/"Dallas"/"St. Elsewhere"/"Clue" mashup, tore NickDouglas an extra hole about the shortage of MeFites on Blogebrity's A, B and C lists, and broke the hearts and balls of the Suzanne Pleshette MILF Club...

And on the MeFi "50 Ways to Leave" thread, let's just say I contributed my share.

Thaks for reading to the end of another "Wendell Needs Another Self-Esteem Boost" comment.
posted by wendell at 11:39 PM on July 2, 2005

Aw, good for you, wendell!
*pats wendell on the head, wanders back to grown-up section of longboat*
posted by kenko at 8:15 AM on July 3, 2005

Ohh shurrr, you'll tear your little friend NickDouglas an extra hole.

I thnk I have a recipe around here somewhere which calls for copious amounts of quonsar zing.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 11:12 AM on July 3, 2005

wendell, now that you have defined chafe/chaff, would you mind teaching everyone how to spell separate? thanx.
posted by Cranberry at 11:36 AM on July 3, 2005

I couldn't bring myself to say this before, being caught up in all this longboat-induced excitement and all, but, um....

... I won't be around for the Grand Finale of THIS MESS myself.

I will, in fact, be doing my part in not forgetting Poland, by actually going there. I'm sorry.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:49 PM on July 3, 2005

Poland has no net access? Please don't tell me that Polack jokes accurately represent the aggregate intelligence and competence of the nation of Poland.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:09 PM on July 3, 2005

Oh, Poland has the web alright. I've even heard that they're beta-testing the Web 2.0. However, they also have vodka, the good kind, and lots of it. You do the math. :)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:16 PM on July 3, 2005

Hmm. Well, despite the unofficial MetaFilter proscription against Posting While Drunk, I am officially inviting the entire nation of Poland to 9622v2. Lech Walesa, please distribute custom-built Debian boxes amongst the shipyard workers.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:21 PM on July 3, 2005

By the way, gnfti, I'm with you.

*grabs gramschmidt by hair*

*slices off scalp*

*recognizes logical flaw*

*goes back in time, kills grandfather*

*writes pop-sci book misappropriating QM and cosmology*

*???*

*profits*
posted by gramschmidt at 2:26 PM on July 3, 2005

Man, everyone's going to Poland these days.
posted by kenko at 2:30 PM on July 3, 2005

Is this really the thread's first mp3 of the song involving Nietzsche I referenced above?

This is a music file for you to enjoy. I used a special, highly-technical "compression algorithm" to "compress" the full-size "digital" "file" of this "song" -- which I computorily extracted "from" my store-purchased "CD" -- down to a smaller, "more" managea"b"le but approximately audio-equivalent "file" which "you" can download to your "computer" and listen to, in "quotes". "Huzzah".

posted by gramschmidt at 2:37 PM on July 3, 2005

did you offer it to socialdrinker over in the green?
posted by Cranberry at 2:56 PM on July 3, 2005

goodnewsfortheinsane wrote:
I won't be around for the Grand Finale of THIS MESS myself.

you plan to go to poland instead? is it something we said? any reason for missing the longboat must indeed be serious. speak to us. we will try to help.
posted by Cranberry at 3:04 PM on July 3, 2005

"Thank you".
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:09 PM on July 3, 2005

did you offer it to socialdrinker over in the green?

I briefly considered it, but I'm not sure his/her sense of dada is strong enough.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:13 PM on July 3, 2005

Tje ,etjpd ny wojcjo O a, cp,[psomg tjios ,essage [rop,ses to revolutionize literature in general!

Qhoopa I awwm ro hCW MASDW A FEW MISTAKES IN THAT LINE! HA HA HA OH WELL.
posted by kenko at 3:47 PM on July 3, 2005

ut;s actyakky qyute duffucykt ti tyoe cinoketeky wribg, Yiyr fubgers aytinactucakky nive ti tge cirrect soits, ybkes ss yiy cab egt ibe if tgen igg vy ibe iy sinetgubg kuje tgat, Eveb tgeb ut;s a ducey oriosutuib,
posted by kenko at 4:17 PM on July 3, 2005

The abyss at the bottom of this thread is now officially as large as Poland. Look out, everyone. If you fall in, rescue is impossible.
posted by languagehat at 6:38 PM on July 3, 2005

Coated Asparagus Spears with Quonsar Zing

INGREDIENTS
1 to 2 tablespoons olive oil
1 pound asparagus, with the foreskin peeled or trimmed
Zing of one quonsar
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS
Prepare the asparagus and trim tips. Place asparagus on a baking sheet and toss with olive oyl, quonsar zing and salt and pepper. Make sure all spears are coated well. Roast at 400 degree for 10 to12 minutes, or until wafty.

Just as guests arrive, in a skillet, heat oil and sauté asparagus until heated through. Add zing, sea salt and pepper to taste. Drain longboat.

posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:44 PM on July 3, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:02 PM on July 3, 2005

There is no finale. (Finales have a point.)
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:27 PM on July 3, 2005

You should always add quonsar zing to your asparagus if you expect to receive oral sex—prevents the unpleasant effects.
posted by kenko at 8:33 PM on July 3, 2005

languagehat, would it be improper of me to inquire what browser/os you're using? I got the hellmouth with firefox on windows but it doesn't show up with firefox on linux (possibly different versions).
posted by kenko at 9:41 PM on July 3, 2005

"toss with olive oyl, quonsar"
Really IIHAA!!! Isn't that their business?

Is either of them Polish?
posted by Cranberry at 10:54 PM on July 3, 2005

Whoa. Still raining?!

*gets off lawn..... looks for fire hydrant....*

On preview: *Looks for big, big, fire hydrant*

On double-preview: *notes that asparagus makes things stink to high heaven*

On double-double-preview: *wonders if anyone else notices the asparagus stink, or if said stink is limited to one who consumed asparagus*

On double-triple-dog-dare-you-preview: *considers posting question to askmefi, reconsiders based on piss-poor (ha!) posting history in The Blue.*
posted by bigbigdog at 11:11 PM on July 3, 2005

Happy fourth of July.
unhappy 6th of July
posted by Cranberry at 2:05 AM on July 4, 2005

Yeah, that's right, I'm making a poppin' trip to green, green, Pololand.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:51 AM on July 4, 2005

And when will you return?
posted by kenko at 8:16 AM on July 4, 2005

12th.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:37 AM on July 4, 2005

To my new American friends (new friends, not new Americans. at least, not afaik): Happy Independence Day.

And can you please tell your friend Rob from Texas (who ended up drinking beer on my patio on Canada Day) that's it's not only impolite, but horribly horribly rude to be in a foreign country on their nation's special holiday and sit around slagging your host notion. Thank you.
posted by raedyn at 9:15 AM on July 4, 2005

I'd take it straight to the United Notions.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:32 AM on July 4, 2005

languagehat, would it be improper of me to inquire what browser/os you're using?

Firefox on Windows XP. But the abyss seems to have shrunk drastically overnight. You can probably wade out now, though your shoes will be pretty muddy.

*sniffs*

OK, who's been eating asparagus?
posted by languagehat at 9:42 AM on July 4, 2005

*shyly gargles breath wash*

It was me.
posted by dial-tone at 10:30 AM on July 4, 2005

You know, I'm not really sure why I asked, since I don't really have any productive suggestions or anything.
posted by kenko at 10:40 AM on July 4, 2005

*fires up the typewriter*

Dear Kofi Annan:
posted by raedyn at 11:23 AM on July 4, 2005

yes, I am aware of the silliness of claiming that I'm "firing up" a typewriter - a strictly mechanical instrument. However, I'm a child of the computer age, so I can't really be blamed can I?

*runs outside to barf on the lawn at hearing herself saying she's a child of the computer age*
posted by raedyn at 11:27 AM on July 4, 2005

I believe the correct form of address is "Your Excellency, Secretary-General Kofi Annan".
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 12:41 PM on July 4, 2005

I also believe snarky pedantry to be the highest form of bliss.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 12:53 PM on July 4, 2005

I also believe snarky pedantry to be the highest form of bliss.

Then is it OK to remind Her Excellency, Secretary-General raedyn that there are electric typewriters capable of being fired up?
suggests carbonated beverages and soda crackers for upset stomach
posted by Cranberry at 1:40 PM on July 4, 2005

You make it sound so official, Cranberry. Do we all get official titles?

wendell can be The Elder, being that he participated in all the other cult threads.

and gramschmidt can be The Keeper of the Flame because he has a perserverence that none of us can hold a candle to.

and Nice Donkey can be our official Team Mascot - since s/he (I don't remember which- or did we ever get a definitive answer?) is already on our flag...

I'm open to alterations and hereby request additions to this list. I can't decide whom should be assigned the title of Offcial Pedant, since we all take turns wearing that crown. Perhaps there can be a special "pedant" jewel on each of our tiaras?
posted by raedyn at 2:10 PM on July 4, 2005

I'll be the dictator—I'll decide on a form of address later—and you all can be my lictors.
posted by kenko at 2:19 PM on July 4, 2005

Perhaps there can be a special "pedant" jewel on each of our tiaras?

Should read: Mayhaps here could reside the specialized "pedantry" jewelry on each(s) iu euren tiaraiumsr]5[$)($*(][|'>;.,;':OEo8jn=@3^ of all the Wheeler and Woolsey films, with Diplomaniacs being my personal favorite.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:36 PM on July 4, 2005

Also, I took care of Rob from Texas.

/pete the killer
posted by gramschmidt at 2:44 PM on July 4, 2005

*head explodes trying to make sense of gramschmidt's correction of my tiara suggestion*
posted by raedyn at 2:52 PM on July 4, 2005

Also, I took care of Rob from Texas.

I'm not sure if I should be flabbergasted with appreciation for your responsiveness to my concerns, or horrified that you so brutally twisted my intentions.

*considers*
posted by raedyn at 2:55 PM on July 4, 2005

When you leave gnfti, I might be the only Neutral Milk Hotel fan left at 9622v2. I hope you can live with that.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:55 PM on July 4, 2005

Hmm. I notice that raedyn is just as exceptional a person without a head as with. This speaks volumes about the importance of the brain in cognition and personality. We need to do a study.

NSF, here I come. First, though, favorite Mexican restaurant, here I come.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:01 PM on July 4, 2005

Wendell the Elder.

Well, it sounds better than Eldell the Wender, or Weldell the Ender, or Endell the Welder.

Is it only coincidental that 9622v2 closes the same day the G8 opens?
begins planning for Live9622 concert... decides to wait, because I don't like Mondays
posted by wendell at 3:05 PM on July 4, 2005

I don't like Mondays

That could be a song...
posted by raedyn at 3:23 PM on July 4, 2005

I've already registered the title Grand Kaimakam and Hospodar. Most of the forms of address appertaining thereunto are in Ottoman Turkish and/or Church Slavonic, but you may address me as Your Infinite Turpitude.

*makes a general gesture of indeterminate but impressive nature*
posted by languagehat at 3:47 PM on July 4, 2005

Should read: Mayhaps here could reside the specialized "pedantry" jewelry on each(s) iu euren tiaraiumsr]5[$)($*(][|'>;.,;':OEo8jn=@3^ of all the Wheeler and Woolsey films, with Diplomaniacs being my personal favorite.

But how do you feel about the public works of Puncher and Wattmann?

Languagehat, among my people that gesture is very, very rude.
posted by kenko at 3:56 PM on July 4, 2005

Allow me to quote part of a sentence from a book I'm reading:

The work of the early Lukács, that is, the books and articles before his conversion to communism in 1918 that led to his becoming a member in the Communist Party of Hungry in the same year ...

Yes, quite. I personally prefered the Communist Party of Sated.

I used to think that whoever edited this book ought to be fired, but now I think that maybe no one edited it at all.
posted by kenko at 4:02 PM on July 4, 2005

I guess I should have expected such a gesture from His Infinite Turpitude, really.
posted by kenko at 4:30 PM on July 4, 2005

I have seen the whale! And I am proud to report that it... has fins. Seriously, I was away from THIS MESS to go whale watching and successfully earn my "getting sick off the longboat" merit badge.

I humbly accept the nomination to the Supreme Court and would like to note that I know little about law, I do know that Brick beats Illinois. Duh. But that Texas beats brick. Because it's bigger.

Also, I'd like to reassure gramschmidt that there is indeed another Neutral Milk Hotel fan in THIS MESS.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:09 PM on July 4, 2005

It's just like you to contest
you wear it like a label on your breast
don't you see what this takes of me?
A certain callousness complies
in your charm and in your pride
a hopeful look draped in despise

</emo chick>
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:27 PM on July 4, 2005

Do we all get official titles?

Yes. And perks. Most of all, perks. Don't forget the symposium, raedyn.

Random fact of the day: I have an "I'm tired of living in cramped Holland and now I want a quiet life with space in Canada" uncle in Winnipeg.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:39 PM on July 4, 2005

Oh yeah, I just remembered, I was going to leave for Poland. I'll get right on that.

Comment #2500, coming up...
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:45 PM on July 4, 2005

Is there a Dane in the house? Can anyone explain the proverb "to cut into another man's ear is like cutting into a felt hat"? Apparently it's Danish, y'see.

Silo
Referee
Threshold
Meant to be
Flat on the floor
Part of a door
None can see
posted by kenko at 5:45 PM on July 4, 2005

When you leave gnfti, I might be the only Neutral Milk Hotel fan left at 9622v2.

When who leaves gnfti? Someone is leaving gnfti? Gnfti, are you okay? It must be a difficult time for you. Oh, wait. Gram must have meant "When you leave, gnfti, I might be . . . "

HA! May I have the official pedant jewell for my tiara now, please?

Also, I am also a Neutral Milk Hotel fan, of course. Is there also anyone else who is also a fan, of course? Of course, it is also ungood grammar to also use the same words over and over in a sentence of course over and over to the point of redundancy? Of course? Also, maybe, it's, also, wrong, to, use, too, many, commas,. Also. Of course! And is it wrong to ask questions and end the sentence in a period. I like to make statements that end in a question mark?
posted by Nice Donkey at 7:05 PM on July 4, 2005

I like to make statements that end in a question mark?

You're in good company, since Venerable Comment-Maker #1 likes to end inquiries with a period.

As we've all noticed several hundred times now.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:20 PM on July 4, 2005

HA! May I have the official pedant jewell for my tiara now, please?

NOT BLOODY LIKELY
posted by kenko at 7:35 PM on July 4, 2005

A donkey in a tiara? Now I've seen everything!

Or at least one more thing.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:39 PM on July 4, 2005

Noon blue apples.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:41 PM on July 4, 2005

Blue velvet.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:42 PM on July 4, 2005

Velvet Elvis.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:43 PM on July 4, 2005

Elvis decanter.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:44 PM on July 4, 2005

El Vez (warning: kinda loud).
posted by gramschmidt at 7:48 PM on July 4, 2005

Goes to show what the moon can do.
posted by kenko at 7:49 PM on July 4, 2005

Hoppy.


posted by gramschmidt at 7:50 PM on July 4, 2005

One wonders, how does gramschmidt decide when to flood the plains with his posts, and how does he decide when to abate the flood? Can we appease him in some way? A donkey sacrifice?

And how does he do it so fast?
posted by kenko at 7:54 PM on July 4, 2005

Qwerty needlessly reappears to warn that the following product is likely to be applied in the very near future:


posted by qwerty155 at 8:02 PM on July 4, 2005

...then disappears again.
posted by qwerty155 at 8:06 PM on July 4, 2005

Those were some fuckinA fireworks. They had two finales. One was like BAM BAM bam BAM!!11! Then everyone got up to flood the gates and suddenly---the second one was like BOOM BAM!

I hate what my country has become.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:12 PM on July 4, 2005

Nooooooo! Don't killl the donkey! Aw, crap. I got an extraa "l" in there. Oh, I mean "in their".
posted by Nice Donkey at 8:12 PM on July 4, 2005

I expect that it will get somewhere between 2500 and 3000 comments

Pretty impressive, doc.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:19 PM on July 4, 2005

Question: in America aren't we supposed to put the period inside the quotation mark? Like this?: I mean "in their."

But doesn't that way suck? Is it not the British way to put it outside of the quotation (if it makes sense to do so)? Like I have it above? I like it better that way.

I don't have any plans to witness fireworks tonight, by the way. I think there's still at least one coffee shop open around here . . .
posted by Nice Donkey at 8:21 PM on July 4, 2005

Yes, ND, that is the preferred style in America.

I think it sux.
posted by kenko at 8:31 PM on July 4, 2005

The editor of kenko's book:



He guest edited Physics Letters B a couple of years ago, too. What a nightmare. I understand that an occasional shuffling and re-assigning of terms and definitions is necessary (e.g., tensor, modulus, etc.), but I refuse to accept that the quantum Hall effect needs to be renamed "Arf".

Luckily, he reconsidered after a Greenie and a belly scratch. (The same trick works with Edward Witten.)
posted by gramschmidt at 8:34 PM on July 4, 2005

I don't personally get bothered if someone blesses my sneeze. It is a nice human connection.

I am so totallly with you, Nice Donkey. The American Way makes no sense at all, and is ugly to boot. Viva la Revolution! (But we do have nice livestock here.)
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:36 PM on July 4, 2005

and this arpanet thing.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:38 PM on July 4, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:51 PM on July 4, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:52 PM on July 4, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:53 PM on July 4, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 9:07 PM on July 4, 2005

Don't kill or killl or killll or even kil the donkey.
Kill the wabbit.
Kill the wabbit!
Kill the wabbit!!!
Kill the wabbit?

IIHAAnus, out here on the Left Coast of the U.S.ofA., the fireworks are tape delaed and we haven't seen them yet, so THANKS FOR THE SPOILER. (I'm beginning to suspect you have one, after all.)

Anybody know the combination to the thread locker?
posted by wendell at 9:26 PM on July 4, 2005

was that the longboat you blew up IIHAA? naughty.
I greatly fear that the combination to the thread locker is #1, followed by 07-06-05. *sigh*
it has been just swell typing with you all, but watch the oldies show up tomorrow trying to be last poster.
i strongly suspect yhbc is lurking even now.
posted by Cranberry at 11:59 PM on July 4, 2005

It is morning of what well may be the last day.
The air crackles with excitement.
posted by Cranberry at 12:05 AM on July 5, 2005

Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt...

Goodbye 9622v2...
posted by schyler523 at 12:12 AM on July 5, 2005

but there is also an almost tactile sense of foreboding.
perhaps we should retain a lawyer-politician to plead for the continuance of THIS MESS.
we are rallying in Boston Harbor for the longboat pick up. could we make a few phone calls there?
posted by Cranberry at 12:14 AM on July 5, 2005

And the ship went out into the High Sea and passed on into the West, until at last one night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:47 AM on July 5, 2005

was that the longboat you blew up IIHAA?

That's not MY longboat.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:10 AM on July 5, 2005

I'm beginning to suspect you have one, after all.

Yeah, the whole "I've got a lifetime of shit stored in my belly" thing is just an elaborate ruse to score points with the chicks. Kind of like jonmc, only with more girth.

/sarcasm
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:15 AM on July 5, 2005

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a boat to catch. (Unless you're gonna impotently "ban" me from Iceland too.)


posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:19 AM on July 5, 2005

Right, do we have everything? Hay for the nice donkey, tasty sammiches for everyone else? Oars and a sail? Everyone got an anus?
posted by kenko at 6:21 AM on July 5, 2005

Can I be Inquisitor General?
posted by dial-tone at 6:31 AM on July 5, 2005

files complaint with Icelandic Equal Opportunities Commission, slips dial-tone 1,317 Krona to ensure it meets the right eyes.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:40 AM on July 5, 2005

Is there still time to hit 3000?
posted by dial-tone at 6:50 AM on July 5, 2005

posted by dial-tone at 6:57 AM on July 5, 2005

*packs up bed roll, puts out the campfire, gets into a personally pimped out longboat and posts off into the sunset*
posted by dial-tone at 7:03 AM on July 5, 2005

9622v2: Kuppel Mein Long Boat
posted by dial-tone at 7:05 AM on July 5, 2005

Kill the wabbit.
Kill the wabbit!
Kill the wabbit!!!
Kill the wabbit?

wendell!! I'm shocked! I thought you LIKED MetaChat, and here you are campaigning for her destruction. And such behaviour from our Elder - what kind of example are you setting? You obviously aren't thinking of the children. Won't somebody please think of the children?!?

/fingerwag
posted by raedyn at 7:34 AM on July 5, 2005

Raedyn, how convenient that over here in good ol' 9622v2 you're acting all prim and proper, scolding those who get out of hand, while in 9723 you're doing nothing but making trouble!
posted by kenko at 8:04 AM on July 5, 2005

Is Noelle really bugbread's mom?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:25 AM on July 5, 2005

I am usually a strong proponent of the concept of acquittal in and of itself, but I refuse to believe that we should acquit based on the notion that a certain glove is the traditionally wrong size when the power of such a notion is based almost solely on the fact that "fit" and "acquit" rhyme.

Thus, I am of the opinion that Sacco and Vanzetti did kill Michael Jackson, and I am casting my vote in the "guilty" direction.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:58 AM on July 5, 2005

I hate this fucking abyss! I feel like it's staring at me.
posted by kenko at 9:13 AM on July 5, 2005

*gasp* me? make trouble? surely you jest. certainly not. you must have me confused with one of my sock puppets someone else.
posted by raedyn at 9:17 AM on July 5, 2005

In all seriousness, I do not have any sock puppet accounts, FYI.

and I <3 9622v2. *blowskisses*
posted by raedyn at 9:20 AM on July 5, 2005

The sustainer has spoken! If Macaulay Culkin fits, you must convict.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:27 AM on July 5, 2005

I hate this fucking abyss! I feel like it's staring at me.

Listen again, and all will be well.

Peace be with you.

And by "peace" I mean "crippling post-post-modern angst".
posted by gramschmidt at 9:40 AM on July 5, 2005

Actually, my abyss is gone. Firefox 1.0.4 on Windows 2000.

And now I miss it.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:01 AM on July 5, 2005

Hey, "miss" and "abyss" rhyme, too!

Holy moley!
posted by gramschmidt at 10:02 AM on July 5, 2005

*gasp*

I done did it again, Uncle Ben!
posted by gramschmidt at 10:03 AM on July 5, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 10:09 AM on July 5, 2005

I must apologize for rhyming. I will try, with all the strength of a Dublin whore, not to do it anym... again.

Not the eagle, though. All he needs is a tear.
posted by gramschmidt at 10:15 AM on July 5, 2005

I guess I should have expected such a gesture from His Infinite Turpitude, really.

Now you're getting the idea. It's good to be the Grand Kaimakam and Hospodar! But I will let your people live, for I am a gracious Kaimakam and Hospodar. At the moment.

My abyss has disappeared too. What does this mean?
posted by languagehat at 10:15 AM on July 5, 2005

There should be a prize for the last comment in this thread, a weeks axis to my Steve @ Linnwood sock puppet account or something.
posted by drezdn at 10:19 AM on July 5, 2005

week's access.
posted by drezdn at 10:21 AM on July 5, 2005

The abyss is everchanging.

Just hit reload...no, wait, dont.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:26 AM on July 5, 2005

drezdn and S@L: the axis of eval.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:27 AM on July 5, 2005

*Starts packing up the tilt-a-whirl, ready to move on to the next town, a little town called Babylon 9723.
posted by drezdn at 10:36 AM on July 5, 2005

*worries about the tattoed man*
posted by drezdn at 10:38 AM on July 5, 2005

*Firewalks with self*
posted by drezdn at 10:39 AM on July 5, 2005

*Looks over 9622v2 scrapbook*

Good Time, Good Times.
posted by drezdn at 10:44 AM on July 5, 2005

If you throw a fit,
I must quit.

If you see the abyss,
You must join the axis.

If you don't have an anus,
You must pain us.

If you're the Kaimakam and Hospodar,
You must go far.

If your sock puppet is Steve @,
You must be peeved at.
posted by wendell at 10:48 AM on July 5, 2005

drezdn and S@L: the axis of eval.

Who's in the axis of apply?
posted by kenko at 11:14 AM on July 5, 2005

YOU LOOK


TIRED, drezdn.


STARE INTO


THE GIANT


BLINKING


BIG TAG:





<big>




posted by gramschmidt at 11:15 AM on July 5, 2005

The abyss is back and there's gonna be trouble!

(But on preview it's gone! Zut alors!)
posted by kenko at 11:47 AM on July 5, 2005

O tribe! come
and cut the blubber
of the salmon
of Place-of-cutting-Blubber,

for it is very fat.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:09 PM on July 5, 2005

You won't fool me, gramschmidt the magnifluous. That was how stavros started thinking he was a chicken...
posted by wendell at 12:44 PM on July 5, 2005

I'm alternately enthralled and repulsed by the idea of eating blubber-tied-in-the-middle. It would probably be character building for me. Or something.
posted by raedyn at 12:52 PM on July 5, 2005

psstt.. wendell. I thought we weren't supposed to remind stavros of his un-chicken-ness. You remember what happened last time, don't you?
posted by raedyn at 12:56 PM on July 5, 2005

2554 comments? Is that it?
posted by kenko at 1:11 PM on July 5, 2005

And 422 of them belong to gramschmidt. That's fully 17%. Impressive.
posted by raedyn at 1:39 PM on July 5, 2005

I think that's it.

Apparently nobody wants to be Steve@Linnwood.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 1:52 PM on July 5, 2005

I hope casu updates the final stats...I need to set up my colleague contacts list.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 1:58 PM on July 5, 2005

posted by If I Had An Anus at 2:03 PM on July 5, 2005

From the first day we met, I knew this day would come. I tried not to let myself get too attached, hoping — no, praying — that, when the time came, I would be ready. But how can anyone expect me to be prepared for this?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 2:08 PM on July 5, 2005

I was committed for life and then commuted to the outskirts
With all the love in the world
posted by gramschmidt at 2:14 PM on July 5, 2005

Living for thirty minutes at a time
With a break in the middle for adverts
posted by gramschmidt at 2:15 PM on July 5, 2005

But it's a wonderful world within these cinema walls
Where a shower of affection becomes Nigara Falls
posted by gramschmidt at 2:16 PM on July 5, 2005

And you wish you could step down
From the screen to your seat in the stalls
posted by gramschmidt at 2:18 PM on July 5, 2005

But if stars are only painted on the ceiling above
Then who can you turn to?
And who do you love?
I wanna get out while I still can
I wanna be like Harry Houdini
Now I'm the invisible man
posted by gramschmidt at 2:19 PM on July 5, 2005

posted by gramschmidt at 2:25 PM on July 5, 2005

Mercy, my apple appeared perfectly normal from the outside. This place usually has good Fuji apples. It even seemed firm. But it's a greyish-brown wasteland inside, bruised, off-tasting, and a little mealy. I swallowed two razor blades and an open safety pin before deciding it was probably best to throw it away.

Let this be a warning to the longboat: A successful youth carrier needs to have reliable transportation and be available Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and early Saturday mornings.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:34 PM on July 5, 2005

I didn't want to bungle or bobble the Fingal doppel.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:38 PM on July 5, 2005

So how long will THIS MESS continue to be a viable concern tomorrow? Until 5:21PST?
posted by kenko at 2:47 PM on July 5, 2005

The June 5th post is still open for comment, but all the June 4th ones are closed.

9622v2 will be around till tomorrow, but I'm not sure when the cut-off time occurs, i.e., does a post stay open till thirty calendar days to the minute have passed, or will all the June 6th posts be closed tomorrow night at midnight?

And will 9622v2 be the exception, mysteriously circumventing the closure and escaping into an infinite comment void -- an abyss, if you will -- never to be ended?

We will find out today at 6:39 PM PST.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:58 PM on July 5, 2005

And by that, of course, I mean that we will find out today whether threads are closed to the minute, not whether we will magically escape closure and fn48p9 49p8p9$p987$][&$_(&[0-=3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
posted by gramschmidt at 3:13 PM on July 5, 2005

mathowie once said that the delay between posting AskMe questions is to the minute. So it would make sense if the threads were also to the minute. But I'm not everything around here makes sense. The way MeFi has been developed has encouraged a sort of homey patchwork approach.
posted by raedyn at 3:54 PM on July 5, 2005

quite worrried about the disappearance of the abyss. fears it is filled with the wreckage of the longboat that If I Had An Anus blew up. Was it grapefruitmoon's longboat?
IIHAA has a longboat; will there be room for all of us along with the dorsal fin he was awarded?
posted by Cranberry at 4:02 PM on July 5, 2005

MeFi is the Boston of websites.
posted by kenko at 4:07 PM on July 5, 2005

hate packing. seems backwards to seek the future in the East. was going to wear the cloak the Elves made for me, but figured it would hamper swimming in Boston harbor. will fold it into my backpack. will just put my ivy leaf shaped clasp on my wetsuit. looking for swim fins
posted by Cranberry at 4:23 PM on July 5, 2005

Hey, if you guys don't make it, what's gonna happen with all your stuff? Like, who gets the blink tag? Just askin' is all. I ain't expecting nothin'.
posted by underer at 4:28 PM on July 5, 2005

quite worrried about the disappearance of the abyss.

Maybe my original suggestions back here may be correct. The rate of expansion of 9622v2 is decreasing and therefore the posts are catching up and gradually reaching the end of the thread universe. At a currently unspecified time (either midnight or possibly 5:21 PM PST) 9622v2 with implode with such force that the whole of metafilter will be overcome with jrun errors with a half life of 3,345,528 years making the blue, gray and green uninhabitable by anything other than 14kers with breathing aparatus and lead suits for many years to come.

Personally, I think it may be time to pray. With guns.
Let us join together in a big compound and welcome the end of the known intaweb where we shall all be saved as the only true believers and all others shall perish.

If however my calculations turn out to be incorrect, I'll see you in the office on Monday.
posted by qwerty155 at 5:12 PM on July 5, 2005

Underer, if we don't make it our stuff will sink to the bottom of the sea, where it will be subject to the LAW O' THE BRINEY DEEP.

Recover <big> if you dare!
posted by kenko at 5:35 PM on July 5, 2005

DRUM SOLO
posted by kenko at 6:22 PM on July 5, 2005

Looks like it is to the minute after all.
posted by kenko at 6:43 PM on July 5, 2005

9622v2 will be around till tomorrow

You mean I've committed premature adieu? I hate it when that happens.
Sorry. Next time?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:07 PM on July 5, 2005

will there be room for all of us along with the dorsal fin he was awarded?

Oh, like you dervishes didn't swallow the whole thing on sight!?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:09 PM on July 5, 2005

what's gonna happen with all your stuff?

Oh, I get it. underer thinks he's safe. Nine comments is the threshold buddy, and you just crossed it.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:10 PM on July 5, 2005

Looks like it is to the minute after all.

kenko is sneaky, like unto an ortho.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:12 PM on July 5, 2005

So the worst thing that could happen is coming back to work Monday? Or is being saved, while all other perish, a worser thing?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:29 PM on July 5, 2005

Apparently.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:53 PM on July 5, 2005

underer, Anus is correct. You cannot use "your" stuff. It's "our" stuff.

Of course, had you used "our", we would have castigated you for claiming partial ownership of that to which you didn't substantially contribute.

Also, had you to which to wit, but bodkins oddly oddsome 'zounds manure.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:56 PM on July 5, 2005

Does anyone here have an extra hippocampus?
posted by gramschmidt at 8:02 PM on July 5, 2005

But it would require regalement of tales from the early days at KROQ, and/or a six degrees sexcapades wherein Mick Jones is smooched. Again.

on preview...Apparently . . .
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:03 PM on July 5, 2005

Anyone? Cranberry?
posted by gramschmidt at 8:03 PM on July 5, 2005

Someone slapped a Korn sticker on mine, and I'm not a big fan. Plus, there's no more room for my Starland Vocal Band decal.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:05 PM on July 5, 2005

You know, that Queen Amygdala is extra super HOTT! Wotta babe. She makes cranial anatomy sexually attractive.
posted by gramschmidt at 8:19 PM on July 5, 2005

IIHAA, how many times have you made out with Mick Jones?

Me, only seven times. And twice with the de-interred body of John Bonham. And once with the drummer from Velvet Underground.

(Now maybe jonmc will flirt with me.)
posted by gramschmidt at 8:30 PM on July 5, 2005

You're talking about the closing of this thread like it's The Rapture™, but in order to avoid Violating the Intellectual Property of ChristianApocalypseCorp, you'll have to call it:
The Rupture.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I have a shortboat myself (considering how difficult it is to find the end of the thread here, it's not like it'll become public knowledge, but if someone was able to dig up my KROQ-of-the-80s stories, maybe I should be). And my hippocampus is currently on loan to the San Diego Zoo.
posted by wendell at 8:34 PM on July 5, 2005

gramschmidt, GRAMSCHMIDT!
our world is ending and all you can think of is Mick Jones and jonmc? wait a minute, MiCk JONes/JONMC. are we playing anagrams here? sock puppet? Could he be a mole the whales sent to monitor our movements?
posted by Cranberry at 8:44 PM on July 5, 2005

really poor planning wendell. now of all times to be without your hippocampus! I was going to ask for a ride, oh dear, here we go again with hitchhiking and gym bags and towels. Come to think of it, we will need towels,
posted by Cranberry at 8:47 PM on July 5, 2005

Do backrubs count as making out?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:50 PM on July 5, 2005

Hey, if you guys don't make it, what's gonna happen with all your stuff? Like, who gets the blink tag? Just askin' is all. I ain't expecting nothin'.
posted by underer at 4:28 PM PST on July 5 [!]

did underer omit the "tak" in his nick? Is he used to dealing with remains? Is everyone playing word games? Is it nerves?
posted by Cranberry at 8:55 PM on July 5, 2005

I'm worried about Cranberry. You don't think we'll need to use the tranquilizer darts, do you?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:02 PM on July 5, 2005

*Checks to make sure the gas is turned off, unplugs the iron, and eats all the food in the fridge, wonders if he's the only responsible one*
posted by dial-tone at 9:37 PM on July 5, 2005

the clock is ticking - to coin a phrase. will there be time for this to be previewed and posted before the 30 days old closed sign appears?
posted by Cranberry at 12:02 AM on July 6, 2005

whee! a reprieve from the governor. a few more hours.
IIHAA, how sweet of you to worry. I'll be all right, I'll bravely soldier on. maybe that should be sailor on.
posted by Cranberry at 12:11 AM on July 6, 2005

personally, I am concerned about dial-tone. how long should one stay out of the water after eating a whole refrigerator-full of food?
*wonders what else dial-tone is responsible for*
posted by Cranberry at 12:18 AM on July 6, 2005

*looks around.... figures this may be last chance for stupid ignominy with repsect to "posting in greatest thread evar!!!111!!oneoneone, decides to post moronic comment anyway....*

<sigh>Is this really the best of the web?</sigh>

Yer damn right it is!!!
posted by bigbigdog at 12:24 AM on July 6, 2005

testing 1 2 3 4 testing
posted by Cranberry at 1:26 AM on July 6, 2005

2X2L Calling CQ.
posted by drezdn at 5:14 AM on July 6, 2005

Hey, where's the big finale?

Poland want big finale!!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:22 AM on July 6, 2005

No time to see the big finale here... I've gotta pack my longboat and polish my helmet for my upcoming transatlantic journey!

*would rush off into the sunset, but with the whole 24 hour daylight thing, that's highly impractical. Rushes off into the daylight, which isn't as cool.*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:03 AM on July 6, 2005

So, back in the early 90s I was working at KROQ and Jed the Fish said something entirely unwelcome to me concerning my left calf (left on the ranch in Santa Monica), something to the effect of it almost being slaughterin' time and he sure was hungry, so I went over, see, and talked to the morning show guys, can't remember their names (ah, age!) and they settled his hash but good.
posted by kenko at 6:26 AM on July 6, 2005

Who's up for some pinochle, fellas?
posted by kenko at 6:28 AM on July 6, 2005

You'll have to teach me—I don't know how to play.
posted by kenko at 6:30 AM on July 6, 2005

You'll have to teach me—I don't know how to play.
posted by kenko at 6:30 AM on July 6, 2005

So kenko - do you know how to play pinochle?

/me re-lurks
posted by yhbc at 6:55 AM on July 6, 2005

bigbigdog - I doubt this is best of the web. But MeTa isn't for best of the web - that's MeFi. MeTa is for MeFi related things. And somehow, if we try, we can make this MeFi related. Maybe we'll have to paint a little MeFi somewhere on the longboat. Or... we'll say we were testing the coding changes for ummm server stability. Stress testing, ya know? or... *grasping at straws* it's a MeFi bonding experience (for those that have chosen to participate). It will lead to a deeper sense of community cohesiveness or... something. Uhhhh yeah. That's it. Commmunity cohesiveness.

As predicted some users are crawling back at the last minute to see what they've missed. I don't think that's as deeply community building. But at least they'll get the jokes.

*hands out towels*

Hang onto that. Because you know, it's the most massively useful thing a traveller can have. Obviously, dial-tone, you aren't as responsible as you thought, if you forgot the TOWELS! Good thing I came back from working for The Man to save the day.
posted by raedyn at 7:18 AM on July 6, 2005

I'd even go so far as to say I'm a dab hand, commish.
posted by kenko at 7:30 AM on July 6, 2005

I don't think we're going to make 3000 comments. Too bad this thread showed up during the busiest time of year at my work, and during wedding season.

Actually, now that I think about it, I should have dropped out of my best friend's wedding, and quit my job. Then I could have done a better job of contributing my fair share here.

Please forgive me. I have not done all that I can. But I've done more than 90% of the posters on this thread. *glowers in many nameless MeFites direction*
*grovels to the faithful*
posted by raedyn at 7:38 AM on July 6, 2005

So London was just chosen to host the Special Olympics? Is this Best of the Web? I'm all for the empowerment of the disabled, but why is this such a huge news story? It's not nearly as important as, say, a random lost American in Aruba.

Or the fact that a Female Pink Panther graces Tokyo tabloid pages. Wow!
posted by gramschmidt at 8:08 AM on July 6, 2005

We appreciate you, raedyn. Not everyone can be a gramschmidt, a Cranberry, or a wendell.
posted by kenko at 8:10 AM on July 6, 2005

*Packs 3000 sugarcubes in airtight container for journey. Plans to give each longboat passenger one for every comment he/she made to TEH BEST THREAD EVAR!*
posted by Nice Donkey at 8:36 AM on July 6, 2005

Wonders if a gramschmidt, a Cranberry, or a wendell will pack some oats for the Nice Donkey. And if yhbc will pack some kibble for the big-eyed, bat-eared, hairless, cute passengers. And maybe some kibble for that awful dog (?) with no hair.
posted by Nice Donkey at 8:49 AM on July 6, 2005

Oats:


posted by gramschmidt at 9:04 AM on July 6, 2005

Post meant merely to relive the memories. *Beats up Dial-tone, takes his Krona*
posted by drezdn at 9:05 AM on July 6, 2005

Will hay do for the Nice Donkey? Granted it's provided by a lowly me.
posted by kenko at 9:06 AM on July 6, 2005

Waterproofed kibble for bigbigdog (or whomever; perhaps drezdn?):


posted by gramschmidt at 9:07 AM on July 6, 2005

Sanskrit text for languagehat:


posted by gramschmidt at 9:13 AM on July 6, 2005

Oh yes, kenko, I quite appreciate the hay. Thank you! Oats are nice for variety. Also apples. Maybe gramschmidt will pack some apples, too.
posted by Nice Donkey at 9:16 AM on July 6, 2005

Sugarcubes, check; hay, check; kibble, check. I think you all are forgetting something very important, though:


posted by yhbc at 9:16 AM on July 6, 2005

Kamo no Chomei text for kenko:


posted by gramschmidt at 9:24 AM on July 6, 2005

For our gracious host, yhbc:
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:17 AM on July 6, 2005

And for Mr. Owie, of course.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:20 AM on July 6, 2005

And for gramschmidt's Big Blackness
.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 10:31 AM on July 6, 2005

Fuckers making me enable images.
posted by kenko at 10:32 AM on July 6, 2005

$2000? Fuck that, I'm getting some pipes from the hardware store and making a knockoff.
posted by kenko at 10:36 AM on July 6, 2005

I would be glad to pack some of the apples in the yard,but they are still small and quite green. I am also semi-imprisoned in my office by the painter who is now working on the ceiling in the hall. His drop cloths would make nice sails.
*not surprised that yhbc is lurking*
posted by Cranberry at 10:48 AM on July 6, 2005

is longboat chasing an honorable profession? is crossing the bar anything like passing the bar?
posted by Cranberry at 10:52 AM on July 6, 2005

That desk fucked my girlfriend once, maybe twice, it doesn't remember.
posted by gramschmidt at 11:31 AM on July 6, 2005

*lovingly strokes THIS MESS*

on preview: *realizes how that sounds*

*decides to hit post anyway*
posted by raedyn at 11:33 AM on July 6, 2005

I love you guys.
posted by blasdelf at 12:16 PM on July 6, 2005

If you're feelin lucky, google (strokes "this mess").

mathowie: "Just look at this mess!"

raedyn: "You look at, we're sick of looking at it."

/smallandquitegreen
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:19 PM on July 6, 2005

It's not really apple season yet.

It's baked potato season!

It's also international kissing day, but are any internationals kissing me? No.

/smallandquiteblue
posted by kenko at 12:29 PM on July 6, 2005

*bakes his potato*
*pulls his drakepool*
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:35 PM on July 6, 2005

he's been with the world
and i'm tired of the soup du jour
he's been with the world
i wanna end this prophylactic tour
afraid nobody around here
understands my potato
guess i'm only a spudboy
looking for a real tomato
we're the smart patrol
nowhere to go
suburban robots that monitor reality
common stock
we work around the clock
we shove the poles in the holes

wait a minute something's wrong
he's the man from the past
he's here to do us a favor
a little human sacrifice
it's just supply and demand
mr. kamikazi mr. dna
he's an altruistic pervert
mr. dna mr. kamikazi
he's here to spread some genes
wait a minute
something's wrong
he's a man with a plan
his finger is pointed at devo
now we must sacrifice ourselves
that many others may live
ok we've got a lot to give
this monkey wants a word with you
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:42 PM on July 6, 2005

only 5 more hours. *sheds a tear*

*sniff*


*sniff*
posted by raedyn at 12:43 PM on July 6, 2005

*blows kenko a kiss*

is that better? I haven't been kissed by any internationals, either. Anybody wanna help a girl out?
posted by raedyn at 12:48 PM on July 6, 2005

is this noble adventure to end in an ignominious jrun? are the blue and the green so ultra-accessed that our very grand finale is threatened?
I am not sure this is true, but I heard a rumor that Matt buried a server under his tomato plants so that the warmth would cause early ripening. Now that the weather is warmer, is that server over-heating, sulking, refusing to work under these conditions, on strike, and causing jruns?
We have anticipated the dreaded 30 day cutoff. Weren't we hoping for a flourish? Didn't we expect a flash of brilliance, enlightenment? A jrun is kind of a whimper for an ending. Is 404 next when we thought the answer is 42?
Are the paint fumes getting to me?
posted by Cranberry at 1:39 PM on July 6, 2005

The paint fumes may be influencing you, Cranberry. But you are entirely correct. 404 is not 42, and jrun is the lamest possible way for this to pan out.

*lovingly strokes THIS MESS, again*
posted by raedyn at 1:47 PM on July 6, 2005

Dammit, did MetaFilter JRun while I was at lunch?
posted by gramschmidt at 2:02 PM on July 6, 2005

yes. several times, on and off.
posted by raedyn at 2:07 PM on July 6, 2005

now that you're back, though, gram, I can take a bit of a break.

*crawls up into hammock, is lulled to sleep by the rocking of the longboat in the waves*
posted by raedyn at 2:17 PM on July 6, 2005

*has fitful dreams about too many commas*
posted by raedyn at 2:24 PM on July 6, 2005

Longboats don't have any of those crow's nests thingies do they? I scared of heights, but I'd love to climb up into of those things and peer out -- with my hand shielding my eyes and my sailor's cap all askew and jaunty.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 2:34 PM on July 6, 2005

Aw thanks raedyn.
posted by kenko at 2:38 PM on July 6, 2005

I'm on it, raedyn.


posted by gramschmidt at 2:40 PM on July 6, 2005

Do I count as international? I'm in one of them foreign countries for the next fortyeight hours...

*kisses all around*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:42 PM on July 6, 2005

Several people, every day, melodically claim to have shot the sheriff and not the deputy, but I'd wager that the vast majority of them have never even fired a gun in their lives, let alone used one to injure a law enforcement officer.
posted by gramschmidt at 2:51 PM on July 6, 2005

Another bum apple for lunch, by the way, from a completely different source. Not nearly as grey and mealy, but still disappointing. Perhaps you could make some apple jelly with the green apples in your yard, Cranberry. It would be preferable to my bastard demon apple hell spawn of the last couple days.

And when can I get a good navel orange again?
posted by gramschmidt at 3:02 PM on July 6, 2005

Catching up... (in as many seperate comments as the jrun will allow):

As anyone who's read the Relatively Good Book™ knows, as long as you have your towel with you, you don't need a hippocampus or a rhynoplasty or a liger. I have two extra-large garishly-coloured beach towels that I have meticulously removed all Santa Monica Beach sand from - I may need more considering the way preparations for the longboat launch are going...
posted by wendell at 3:38 PM on July 6, 2005

Never, that's when.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:39 PM on July 6, 2005

It's a bit odd knowing the exact time of your death. Less than two hours to go. Not nearly enough time to watch Ivan the Terrible, but plenty of time to watch Zelig.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:44 PM on July 6, 2005

And plenty of time to post


THIS IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:


Nevada State historic preservation officer Ron James studied for a year in Ireland in a Fulbright-related program.
posted by gramschmidt at 3:48 PM on July 6, 2005

It's a bit odd knowing the exact time of your death. Yes, very odd indeed. How does one decide what one's last words should be?

I'll see you all on the flip side. I'll be sad to leave THIS MESS behind. Yet I'm eagerly anticipating our new shores. I've already staked out my spot. And I've got festive music playing for our arrival.
posted by raedyn at 4:00 PM on July 6, 2005

Not everyone can be a gramschmidt, a Cranberry, or a wendell.
For which 24,998 MeFi members are very grateful...

Hey, where's all the stuff I put in the refrigerator last night?
posted by wendell at 4:02 PM on July 6, 2005

gram, I had a bag of halfway-decent California Navels in the fridge (and some oranges, too), but now they're gone!!!

Point of Law: I never claimed to have shot the sheriff, I only denied that I shot the deputy.
posted by wendell at 4:11 PM on July 6, 2005

It's a bit odd knowing the exact time of your death.

I'm not dying at 5:21PM PST, I'm thoroughly Born Again™ (anybody like a piece of placenta?), and will experience The Rupture™, moving me, body-and-soul, to the Next Level™, also known as MeTa9723.
(Of course, I can't go without my personal shortlongboat... and my towel.)
posted by wendell at 4:23 PM on July 6, 2005

For Cranberry:


posted by gramschmidt at 4:29 PM on July 6, 2005

*Pupils dilate at sight of gram's/Cranberry's sugar*

Whoa, it comes in powdered form! Don't let the DEA search the longboat!
posted by Nice Donkey at 5:09 PM on July 6, 2005

OY VEY!



posted by gramschmidt at 5:11 PM on July 6, 2005

Hey, where did everybody go? I see a 40 minute gap between posts.
posted by Nice Donkey at 5:12 PM on July 6, 2005

Not acceptable. But now gram is back! Oh, Joy!
posted by Nice Donkey at 5:13 PM on July 6, 2005

Hmm. Race with a donkey? Will I lose my dignity? Or perhaps my dignity was lost here.
posted by gramschmidt at 5:14 PM on July 6, 2005

It's apple season!
It's potato season!
Apple season!
Potato season!
Apple season!
Potato season!
Apple season!
Apple season!
Potato season! Do you want to bake me now or wait 'til you get home?
posted by wendell at 5:14 PM on July 6, 2005

Hmm. Textual deliberation. Shall I?

Hmm.
posted by gramschmidt at 5:15 PM on July 6, 2005

SOY MAY!

Be beneficial to one's health. But may not be. There is not yet enough data to evaluate this claim properly.
posted by Nice Donkey at 5:17 PM on July 6, 2005

ORANGES! WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME, ORANGE YAHWEH?
posted by gramschmidt at 5:17 PM on July 6, 2005

LAST POST!
posted by wendell at 5:20 PM on July 6, 2005

But I think apples have more fiber than potatoes, and potatoes are known to cause dangerous spikes in blood sugar levels, so, by that logic, I proclaim it

Apple Season!
posted by Nice Donkey at 5:20 PM on July 6, 2005

I







ENJOY







ENNUI




posted by gramschmidt at 5:20 PM on July 6, 2005

Nice text, gramschmidt! Have some Sanskrit embedded in Chinese:

AsId rAjA nalo nAma vIrasenasuto balI

Oh, and I've packed some oats for you, Nice Donkey. Don't mind the JRun, it won't hurt you.

*looks around in anticipatory nostalgia*

I'll miss this MESS, but the longboat's lookin' good!

*pins MESS HERO medal on gramschmidt, blows international kiss to raedyn*

Ave atque vale!
posted by languagehat at 5:27 PM on July 6, 2005

Harry Morgan (Jr.) did not exist when this thread was closed.
posted by Harry Morgan at 6:39 PM on July 27, 2005

Insidious.
posted by gramschmidt at 7:14 PM on July 27, 2005

Language hat thought he had the last word, but we sly dogs sure did show him, oder?
posted by kenko at 9:46 PM on July 27, 2005

Wahy do you mean post to 9622?
Posted by You, Dude
posted by Cranberry at 12:47 AM on July 28, 2005

With a whimper and a whistle.
posted by gramschmidt at 11:15 AM on July 28, 2005

posted by raedyn at 9:50 AM on August 5, 2005

Backwards stroke | longboat Forwards »
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:46 PM on August 16, 2005

Ooh. Dude. Seriously uncool.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:48 PM on August 16, 2005