Making an AskMe anonymous after the fact?

June 13, 2007 11:03 AM

This comment on this AskMe made me wonder - would it be possible to make an AskMe question anonymous after it had already been posted?
posted by Zephyrial to Feature Requests at 11:03 AM (32 comments total)

Not that this is a terribly important issue, but it seems like an interesting question. It doesn't seem like it would be too difficult to do (not that I know anything about MetaFilter's back-end), but of course, there's also the question of whether or not it would be a good idea.
posted by Zephyrial at 11:04 AM on June 13, 2007

See also:
Beyond being firm I'm not sure what you can do....You could also smack him when he starts to act up.
posted by chunking express at 6:37 PM on June 13 [+] [Flagged]

Not the only dubious comment there. Am I missing the humour? Lemme see...

Beyond being firm I'm not sure what you can do. The trick with whining children women is to ignore them. Once they realize whining gets them no where they will stop.

You could also smack him her when he starts to act up.
posted by chunking express at 6:37 PM on June 13 [+] [Flagged]

Yeah, I missed the humour.
posted by dash_slot- at 11:20 AM on June 13, 2007

dunno why someone would be worried about their kid finding this in ten years time, the parent is asking for advice on behaviors, nothing shameful about that. Hopefully in ten years time those behaviors will be gone, or mellowed out. It's not much different then parents taking pictures of their babies nude, it might be embarrassing to the teenager, but people are resilient, a little embarrassment is good for the soul, keeps you honest. And so what if the kid reads that he was an obnoxious prick when he was six years old, many kids are, it's how they test the world, nothing special or scaring about it.
posted by edgeways at 11:32 AM on June 13, 2007

I don't want to speak for chunking express, dash_slot-, but it's entirely possible he's not making a joke.

also, it's not a valid way to argue against something to simply replace it with your favorite oppressed group.
posted by shmegegge at 11:45 AM on June 13, 2007

I just thought it was something that the OP might not have considered when posting the question. I think there could conceivably be a problem if a child finds out a parent was calling him a whiner and telling askmefi about how he was driving her up the wall. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. Oh well.
posted by jourman2 at 11:52 AM on June 13, 2007

It's not? Says you!

Oh, I thought that pointing out that violence is wrong, whether against little people or against female people, was OK. I unthinkingly assumed that. My bad.

Besides, I don't have favourite oppressed groups. That would be kinda oppressive. They're all special lil snowflakes!
posted by dash_slot- at 11:53 AM on June 13, 2007

Boy, if my kids ever find out they used to shit their pants, they're going to be totally humiliated.
posted by padraigin at 11:54 AM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm with edgeways- that was a puzzling suggestion. Once you grow up, who cares whether or not they were an awful child? We always get a giggle about the stories of terrible phases we went through as kids.
posted by oneirodynia at 11:57 AM on June 13, 2007

I think there could conceivably be a problem if a child finds out a parent was calling him a whiner and telling askmefi about how he was driving her up the wall. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive.

This was more what I was thinking. Again, not an issue with which I was really concerned, but I thought it was an interesting question.
posted by Zephyrial at 12:00 PM on June 13, 2007

I've been happy to see sensitive posts lately that *weren't* asked anonymously.

That said, kids can be sensitive. I have two distinct memories that made me very upset as a youngster: 1) overhearing my mom say, "when I was on birth control..." -- I didn't realize that birth control is the norm and came away from it sobbing, "mom didn't want me!"; 2) finding a business card of a child therapist in my mom's address book -- to this day I kind of want to ask my mom when she thought I was teh crazy. (I have no problem with therapy and I do consider myself somewhat crazy; one just sometimes wants to know why/what/how others view them.)

Then again, dad took me to see Alien in the theater when I was 5 and it left no scars. The sensitivity of children can only be measured one child, one issue, at a time.
posted by iguanapolitico at 12:04 PM on June 13, 2007

Since most of you don't have the BALLS to post under your real names, I am thinking that posting with an alias is as good as posting anonymously, especially where your kids, 10 years from now, are concerned.
posted by Dave Faris at 12:07 PM on June 13, 2007

So this kid in the future may learn that he was annoying when he was 6 and that his mom loves him so much and that she wasn't fond of her ex-husband. I'm not sure any of these things are going to scar a child.
posted by chunking express at 12:12 PM on June 13, 2007

If your 11 year old kid works out your username then you lose at teh interwebs.
posted by gomichild at 12:16 PM on June 13, 2007

It's not? Says you!

for real. it CAN be a useful tool for pointing out hypocrisy, but if someone, for instance, thinks spanking or smacking kids is a useful way to raise them, then the comparison doesn't really show why it isn't. they clearly see a difference in how the two should be treated and all you're doing is comparing them to a domestic abuser, which doesn't accomplish all that much.

for instance, here's a far overblown example to illustrate a point:

Children Black People are often whiny when they don't get what they want, and it takes a firm hand to raise them not to be so whiny. Often you have to give kids Black People a timeout to get them to realize that part of growing up is learning that you don't always get what you want.

Now, the corrected version certainly is abominable. But the uncorrected version isn't. Making the swap doesn't really prove anything. Is your example this egregious? Not remotely, and I fall into the camp of people who don't think hitting kids is necessary to raise them properly. On the other hand, I was spanked on occasion as a kid when I acted horrifically, and that doesn't really compare to my dad hitting grown women for acting similarly. (He didn't and does not do that, to be clear.)

To clarify, maybe I should have replaced "simply replace" in what I originally said with "merely replace."
posted by shmegegge at 12:20 PM on June 13, 2007

Thanks. I have emailed Chunking Express to ask if he was sincere or not - no more derail, worthy or not.
posted by dash_slot- at 12:34 PM on June 13, 2007

no more derail, worthy or not

So I can't totally flame out in this thread? Dis. Anyway, I was being sincere. Some people spank their kids. Scary, but true I wasn't advocating she take up child abuse to control her kid.
posted by chunking express at 12:38 PM on June 13, 2007

There is a missing period in my comment above. Damn you MetaFilter.
posted by chunking express at 12:41 PM on June 13, 2007

Um, to answer the question, no it's not something we do. It's technically something the database allows, but it's a huge pain in the ass and not something that any of the non-mathowie admins can do.

When people email us after the fact to say they want a past question "anonymized" we say no and give them the opinion of having it deleted with the caveat that we prefer not to do that if at all possible (since people spent time and effort responding, etc.). With a site that spans almost a decade, it's not that suprising that people change over time and may regret things they've said earlier.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:42 PM on June 13, 2007

"Oh, I thought that pointing out that violence is wrong, whether against little people or against female people, was OK. I unthinkingly assumed that. My bad."

So you don't see any difference between women and children? I mean, as long as we're all being humorless pricks, might as well call you out on that.
posted by klangklangston at 12:56 PM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

Thanks, jessamyn! That was all I was curious about.... I was starting to wonder if my actual question was ever going to get answered... but it was also kind of amusing watching the conversation get derailed from "Is this technically possible?" to hitting black people.

Anyways, thanks!

Er, not that I'm amused by hitting black people.
posted by Zephyrial at 1:07 PM on June 13, 2007

Humourless? He wasn't making a joke. He says that it is a valid reaction to spank a child for his unacceptable method of expressing himself. I don't agree.

I look forward to your jokes about hitting kids with some apprehension.
posted by dash_slot- at 1:11 PM on June 13, 2007

Kind of pedantic at this point, but it is always worth mentioning that if you have a in-general question often times things go a hell of a lot smoother if you just drop one of the big three an email asking it. Avoids all this high school drama bitchiness.
posted by edgeways at 1:21 PM on June 13, 2007

"Humourless? He wasn't making a joke. He says that it is a valid reaction to spank a child for his unacceptable method of expressing himself. I don't agree."

Fine. Substitute "priggish." And you're, again, arguing by way of analogy that women are equivalent to children. I don't agree. (Of course, were we given to generous conversational interpretation, neither of us would be here. But that rather brings us back to humorless, doesn't it?)
posted by klangklangston at 1:42 PM on June 13, 2007

With a site that spans almost a decade, it's not that suprising that people change over time and may regret things they've said earlier.

Replace "things" with "everything" and that's about right on my end.
posted by Skot at 1:46 PM on June 13, 2007

Q: Your dog is whining at the back door to be let in. Your woman is screaming at the front door. Who do you let in?







A: The dog. Once you let him in, he will stop whining.





I am here all week, try the salmon, LOL, etc etc, IANYH, your experience with sexist jokes may vary, adjust volume as required. I may regret I said this later, I humbly ask your pre-forgiveness after the fact.
posted by Meatbomb at 1:55 PM on June 13, 2007

Bernie Mac on childrearing: "If he's old enough to talk back, he's old enough to punch in the throat."
posted by Falconetti at 3:33 PM on June 13, 2007

It worked for me.
posted by chillmost at 4:48 PM on June 13, 2007

"Oh, I thought that pointing out that violence is wrong, whether against little people or against female people, was OK."

"So you don't see any difference between women and children? I mean, as long as we're all being humorless pricks, might as well call you out on that."

Oh, alright, well as long as we're all being humorless pricks, do none of you people understand the difference between actual little people and children? There are little female people, who can be women or children. [NOT HEIGHTIST] Is violence more or less wrong against them?
posted by pineapple at 6:14 PM on June 13, 2007

I think there could conceivably be a problem if a child finds out a parent was calling him a whiner and telling askmefi about how he was driving her up the wall. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive.
Yup, too sensitive by far. Parents say things like that to their grown-up kids all the time - part of growing up is learning about who you were as a child.
posted by dg at 8:20 PM on June 13, 2007

Circumcise the kid & he'll stop whining.
posted by Iamtherealme at 11:59 PM on June 13, 2007

Pineapple: many children are little people. They are people who could easily be described as little. I don't think anyone is confusing one group with the other, any more than they confuse Gimli with these folks.
posted by spaceman_spiff at 12:15 AM on June 14, 2007

it's also possible to lock the barn door after the horse has run off ... you may as well assume someone will remember ... because someone probably will
posted by pyramid termite at 1:20 AM on June 14, 2007