Help me find an old post

September 12, 2007 12:08 PM

Can anyone help me find a post that I'm sure I saw (and perhaps I even posted myself) here on Metafilter a while back with a commercial done by a regional county sherrif's office encouraging the viewer to narc on their significant others?

The commercial featured three women talking on the couch in their living room as their hoodlum boyfriends went out to commit some larcenies, and one of them mentions the bounty that will be theirs if they only turn in their nogoodnik menfolk via the anonymous tip line. The end of the spot shows them all drinking margaritas poolside, enjoying the good life. Sorry if this is an innappopriate place for this question, if it's any consolation I can threaten to leave forever if you want.

posted by jonson to MetaFilter-related at 12:08 PM (100 comments total)

Can you threaten to leave forever while I go look for it, just to kill some time?
posted by jessamyn at 12:34 PM on September 12, 2007 [10 favorites]

Can you threaten to leave forever while I go look for it, just to kill some time?

Flagged as offensive content.
posted by ODiV at 12:36 PM on September 12, 2007

Christ, what an extreminator.
posted by cortex at 12:38 PM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Flagged as offensive content.

Flagged as noise.

It made perfect sense in my head, but now I have no idea what I was trying to say. I think it's time for a coffee break.
posted by ODiV at 12:39 PM on September 12, 2007

Start Snitchin'! -- posted by jonson | April 28, 2007 4:36 PM.
posted by ericb at 12:39 PM on September 12, 2007

I'm AWESOME! Thanks, EricB.
posted by jonson at 12:40 PM on September 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

Start Snitchin'
posted by quin at 12:40 PM on September 12, 2007

Marked as best answer.
posted by jonson at 12:40 PM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

And the television advertisement: Waco Crime Stoppers

"Why don't you turn the bums in?"

posted by ericb at 12:40 PM on September 12, 2007

We're done here.





















Or.... are we?
posted by dersins at 12:41 PM on September 12, 2007

Damnit!
posted by quin at 12:41 PM on September 12, 2007

Free jonson!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:41 PM on September 12, 2007

Free jonson!

$20SAIT?
posted by dersins at 12:42 PM on September 12, 2007

This jonson boy ent right in the head.
posted by cortex at 12:44 PM on September 12, 2007

So . . . what did your wife do?
posted by brain_drain at 12:45 PM on September 12, 2007 [4 favorites]

Okay folks, the reason I clearly can't remember when I post things is that, as several of you have guessed, there are multiple people running the Jonson account. The "Start Snitchin'" post was posted by Agent Thunderbuns, who has full control of the Jonson account on Saturdays (April 28th being a Saturday). Today is Wednesday, and I am the one running the Jonson today. I appreciate your help, and go back about your business.
posted by jonson at 12:47 PM on September 12, 2007 [3 favorites]

[closed]
posted by Poolio at 12:49 PM on September 12, 2007

jonson, can I be Sunday?
posted by drezdn at 12:51 PM on September 12, 2007

Sunday is Highpants McGee. If you can defeat him in a duel, Sunday is yours.
posted by jonson at 12:53 PM on September 12, 2007

That's it. I'm leaving. I'm never coming back to metafilter again. In fact, I'm done with all technology. I'm done with this whole damn planet. Y'know what, fuck this whole dimension. I liked 2-space better, anyway.
posted by Afroblanco at 12:54 PM on September 12, 2007

Ok, never mind. I'm back.
posted by Afroblanco at 12:55 PM on September 12, 2007

This question was actually asked by jonson's daughter, who's ready to bust daddy for his rare-animal-trafficking.

Don't be surprised when we see a future askme by "jonson" about which drinkies make a little girl look the most grown-up when she's chillaxing poolside.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:57 PM on September 12, 2007

jonson, fyi, is an anagram of "oj soon".

And "no jons".

And "js noon", who happens to be my favorite lunchhour DJ on the local classical station.
posted by cortex at 1:00 PM on September 12, 2007

What would we do without our jonson.
posted by Koko at 1:04 PM on September 12, 2007

Wait, the post that jonson was looking for was something he posted himself? Well, it just goes to show how thoughtful a process it is that he uses to finely craft his contributions to the front page, I guess.
posted by Dave Faris at 1:05 PM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

MetaFilter: I am the one running the Jonson
posted by 1f2frfbf at 1:07 PM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Can anyone help me find the provocation for Dave Faris's snippy comment about jonson's posts?
posted by brain_drain at 1:10 PM on September 12, 2007

Partly cause he didn't bother reading further than jonson's third comment?

Take it from me, premature e-jerkilation's a heartbreaker.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:13 PM on September 12, 2007

That's it. Fuck Metafilter, I'm leaving for ten or so minutes to get some work done.
posted by klangklangston at 1:14 PM on September 12, 2007

Wait, the post that jonson was looking for was something he posted himself? Well, it just goes to show how thoughtful a process it is that he uses to finely craft his contributions to the front page, I guess.

Dave Faris, you have picked the wrong time to snark at me. Mathowie has told me by private communication that when I reach 4,000 favorites (currently 94 away from that mark) I can turn them in and in exchange I can have one member of the site permanently banned by IP address. You have approximately seven days to apologize, depending on the popularity of the links the other jonsons find at random and post. Enjoy your last week on Metafilter!!
posted by jonson at 1:14 PM on September 12, 2007 [19 favorites]

Eat shit, jonson.
posted by Dave Faris at 1:22 PM on September 12, 2007 [5 favorites]

Mathowie has told me by private communication that when I reach 4,000 favorites (currently 94 away from that mark) I can turn them in and in exchange I can have one member of the site permanently banned by IP address.

Yesssssssssss! ::e-mails Matt::
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:24 PM on September 12, 2007 [3 favorites]

ThePinkSuperhero | Favorited by others: 5383 -- Whoa!
posted by ericb at 1:26 PM on September 12, 2007

Can anyone help me find the provocation for Dave Faris's snippy comment about jonson's posts?

Dave Faris needs no provocation to be snippy. It's his raisinette.
posted by languagehat at 1:28 PM on September 12, 2007 [5 favorites]

Say, has anybody told jessamyn the answer has been found? I can just see her, brushing away cobwebs from the underground stacks, searching, searching....
posted by languagehat at 1:29 PM on September 12, 2007

I'm going to favorite every comment of jonson's that I can find.
posted by grouse at 1:33 PM on September 12, 2007

jessamyn searching, searching....
posted by ericb at 1:34 PM on September 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

"Dave Faris," by the way, can be anagrammed into "petulant turd."
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 1:35 PM on September 12, 2007

ThePinkSuperhero | Favorited by others: 5383 -- Whoa!

4500 of them, plus or minus a few, are from one guy.

Draw from that whatever conclusions you will...
posted by dersins at 1:40 PM on September 12, 2007

ThePinkSuperhero | Favorited by others: 5383 -- Whoa!

HOLY CRAP. I resign from this contest, as I am clearly outclassed!
posted by jonson at 1:41 PM on September 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

If we're having rasinettes can I get like a small handful? Those little dudes are pretty good.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:41 PM on September 12, 2007

It's his raisinette.

Does this in any way explain why you're such a goober?
posted by Dave Faris at 1:42 PM on September 12, 2007

Goobers, on the other hand, are nonsense. What a bullshit candy.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:44 PM on September 12, 2007

I prefer Goobers to Rasinettes ... just as I prefer 'nuts' to 'cunts.'
posted by ericb at 1:48 PM on September 12, 2007

Err ... *Raisinets*
posted by ericb at 1:50 PM on September 12, 2007

DavyDarling seems to have a thing for ThePinkSuperhero.
posted by caddis at 1:51 PM on September 12, 2007

Y'all stop the candy puns, or I'll bust a sno-cap in your ass.
posted by brain_drain at 1:55 PM on September 12, 2007

I'm not familiar with bullshit candy. Mooseshit and elkshit however...
posted by CKmtl at 1:56 PM on September 12, 2007

So, ThePinkSuperhero, or DavyDarling, what gives? This kind of reminds me of when quonsar tagged all his posts with the quonsar tag.
posted by caddis at 2:06 PM on September 12, 2007

It was a joke, that started in some Metatalk thread about favorites. I can't remember which one.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:10 PM on September 12, 2007 [3 favorites]

caddis: it started here.

And he really did it, apparently.

It was a joke

There's a very fine line between "joke" and "OCD."

Oh, wait.

No there isn't.
posted by dersins at 2:12 PM on September 12, 2007

oh, I remember that now. Wow, 4,500 favorites. Someone had some free time on their hands.
posted by caddis at 2:15 PM on September 12, 2007

I watched as the count went up, up, up- it took a lot less time than one might imagine. You can favorite directly from someone's comment history, which I imagine is how he did it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:17 PM on September 12, 2007 [3 favorites]

You can favorite directly from someone's comment history

Hmm. So you can. Now you only give someone 100 a day, though.
posted by yhbc at 2:26 PM on September 12, 2007

*restarts Dave Faris' dynamic IP broadband modem*
posted by niles at 2:32 PM on September 12, 2007

She's gotten a hundred more in the last 15 minutes!
posted by blasdelf at 2:34 PM on September 12, 2007

You can favorite directly from someone's comment history

Before Tennyson D'San's recent baninnationing, he hit me with something like 100 favorites in an hour. I'm really not as popular as I look.

and now that he/she has been banned, no one can take those favorites from me! don't even think of it you fuckers!
posted by eyeballkid at 2:41 PM on September 12, 2007

jonson writes "Mathowie has told me by private communication that when I reach 4,000 favorites (currently 94 away from that mark) I can turn them in and in exchange I can have one member of the site permanently banned by IP address."

Check your profile again, jonson, Christmas came early this year.
posted by bugbread at 3:09 PM on September 12, 2007

I can't believe you guys fell for his ploy to get more favorites. You really all are just a bunch of total tools.
posted by Dave Faris at 3:15 PM on September 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

I miss jonson.
posted by vronsky at 3:23 PM on September 12, 2007

I am a chain-saw

BrrRRRRRrrrRRRRRR
posted by quin at 3:23 PM on September 12, 2007

I am a hammer

BAM BAM OUCH FUCK MY THUMB BAM
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:26 PM on September 12, 2007

I can't believe you guys fell for his ploy to get more favorites. You really all are just a bunch of total tools.

And he would have gotten away with it, if not for that meddling Dave Faris!
posted by dersins at 3:26 PM on September 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

And those 4000 favorites TPS got are about as real as that Gucci handbag she carries.
posted by vronsky at 3:31 PM on September 12, 2007

Dave Faris writes "I can't believe you guys fell for his ploy to get more favorites."

I don't think you call it "falling for" when you know it and are playing along. That's like saying folks were "totally fooled into thinking the guy's name was Mr. Anderson, when in reality it was just an actor named Keanu Reeves pretending to be a guy called Mr. Anderson".
posted by bugbread at 3:38 PM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

in reality it was just an actor named Keanu Reeves pretending to be a guy called Mr. Anderson

OMG NO SPOILERS PLEASE!
posted by dersins at 3:41 PM on September 12, 2007

Even if you don't feel happy with the label of "tool," the end result is the same. You've been manipulated to give him what he wanted.
posted by Dave Faris at 3:47 PM on September 12, 2007

And those 4000 favorites TPS got are about as real as that Gucci handbag she carries.

I don't own a Gucci handbag, real or otherwise, but other than that- favorites aren't "real". There is no inherent value in them. We've turned them into a popularity contest, when in reality, they mean nothing- I "got" 4600 of them for doing nothing at all, which is a great reminder of how worthless they are.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:47 PM on September 12, 2007 [4 favorites]

You've been manipulated to give him what he wanted.

That is laughable, considering that you favorited this comment and then unfavorited it once you realized it contradicted your accusations of manipulation.
posted by brain_drain at 3:53 PM on September 12, 2007

You've been manipulated to give him what he wanted.

That would only be possible if Dave Faris were jonson's sock puppet, with whom he craftily engineered a fake spat in order to garner favorites.
posted by grouse at 3:53 PM on September 12, 2007

"And those 4000 favorites TPS got are about as real as that Gucci handbag she carries."

Don't be jealous of the rocks that she's got.
posted by klangklangston at 3:56 PM on September 12, 2007

Dave Faris writes "Even if you don't feel happy with the label of 'tool,' the end result is the same. You've been manipulated to give him what he wanted."

Again, I don't think "manipulated" means what you think it means.
posted by bugbread at 4:02 PM on September 12, 2007

considering that you favorited this comment and then unfavorited it once you realized it contradicted your accusations of manipulation.

Ah, unless you got a screenshot, I'd like to see you prove that. But even if what you say is true, take it more as a sign that there's always a chance to redeem yourself. Life doesn't always give you a chance to undo a mistake you've made.
posted by Dave Faris at 4:06 PM on September 12, 2007

Life doesn't always give you a chance to undo a mistake you've made.

That's Larry Craig's excuse ("I didn't mean to plead guilty two-months after soliciting sex in the mens room at the Minneapolis Airport").
posted by ericb at 4:10 PM on September 12, 2007

So the answer has been found, yes? Does the community need to debate anything here?

I think we're done here.
posted by philomathoholic at 4:20 PM on September 12, 2007

*chases after philomathoholic*

BrrrRRRRRRRRRRrrRRRRRRRRRR
posted by quin at 4:27 PM on September 12, 2007

What is philomathoholia?
posted by grouse at 4:27 PM on September 12, 2007

Ah, unless you got a screenshot, I'd like to see you prove that

No screenshot needed; I saw you favorited it, and I see you have since unfavorited it. Bizarre, but somewhat par for the course. I can only think you favorited it to show that you had a sense of humor about yourself, and then eventually your got upset at all the people hating on you in this thread & you unfavorited it, much like you once added me as a contact & then later removed me as a contact. Plus, let's not forget that time you cut off your ear & mailed it to me in a box. I don't need another ear Dave, I have two & they work just fine.
posted by jonson at 4:28 PM on September 12, 2007 [4 favorites]

Does Dave Faris only spew filthy bile and biley filth these days?
posted by liquorice at 4:30 PM on September 12, 2007

*runs from crazed schizophrenic lunatic who thinks he's a chainsaw*
posted by philomathoholic at 4:34 PM on September 12, 2007

Please, people, stop talking about favourites, I can only stroke so fast.
posted by tehloki at 4:34 PM on September 12, 2007 [6 favorites]

I have, until this very moment, thought the phrase "douche chills" was a bit ambitious, but now I'm seeing that it's entirely appropriate. 4000 favorites indeed.
posted by Divine_Wino at 4:46 PM on September 12, 2007

Does Dave Faris only spew filthy bile and biley filth these days?

No, actually. He makes some entirely decent posts—enough so and with famous enough thought and consideration that having a jab at jonson about posting habits seems really kind of weird—and contributes good, thoughtful comments to threads in the blue and the grey both. The jerky stuff just kind of stands out, I think, because he's really good at it and because people have noticed it and seem to expect it from him kind of by default. I don't really get it, but that's metafilter for you.
posted by cortex at 4:46 PM on September 12, 2007

Plus, let's not forget that time you cut off your ear & mailed it to me in a box.

That brought to mind how you used to torture rushmc. That was really, really bad, but, Christ, I enjoyed it.
posted by timeistight at 4:51 PM on September 12, 2007

ah, good times. But you know, michael rush & I are lovers.
posted by jonson at 4:56 PM on September 12, 2007

That came out douchier than I meant tps, so.. winky emoticon.
posted by vronsky at 5:13 PM on September 12, 2007

Philomathoholia would be an addiction to the love of math. I prefer alcohol, personally.

And if quin gets a chainsaw, I want a nailgun.

chinka-thud chinka-thud chinka-splat WAAAAAAH!
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:52 PM on September 12, 2007

I saw you favorited it, and I see you have since unfavorited it.

Eh. A database anomoly, I'm sure of it. Jrun giveth, and Jrun taketh away.

I don't really get it, but that's metafilter for you.

There's no emoticon for a tongue-in-cheek, I guess. Everyone can do a little ribbing on Metatalk but you and me, Cortex.
posted by Dave Faris at 6:07 PM on September 12, 2007

What I Learned from MeTa Thread one-four-eight-eight-seven:

To figure out which Jonson is posting a particular comment, check what it says on his panties.
posted by SassHat at 6:13 PM on September 12, 2007

I was sure Philomathoholia would be an unholy attraction to Philomath. Which would make quin's chainsaw all the more appropriate.
posted by cairnish at 6:21 PM on September 12, 2007

I saw it, Dave. I laughed, and thought that it was a nice gesture.
posted by yhbc at 6:22 PM on September 12, 2007

Beers in the Austerity Chamber it is, then.
posted by cortex at 6:27 PM on September 12, 2007

What does this have to do with bacon?
posted by phaedon at 6:31 PM on September 12, 2007

She's gotten a hundred more in the last 15 minutes!
posted by blasdelf at 5:34 PM on September 12

TPS is one of the gems here. Reading her posts and comments almost always lifts my mood. That's so cool. If anyone deserves 4,500 favorites, it is TPS. Joie de vivre. You go girl. You make us happy.
posted by caddis at 7:05 PM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

She truly does have some fantastic comments in her history.

(trust me on that one)
posted by davey_darling at 7:42 PM on September 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

There ain't no Agent ThunderBuns, there ain't no Highpants McGee, there ain't no jonson's daughter, and there sure as shit ain't no jonson. There is only a team of crack Google engineers. I proved* this last week.


*Proof: By Assertion.
posted by Kwine at 9:38 PM on September 12, 2007

*shakes fist, howls, looks confused, shuffles away*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:46 PM on September 12, 2007

*peeks head in thread to see if it's safe*

I've always understood philomath to mean 'one who loves learning'.

I didn't know that there was a place called philomath.
posted by philomathoholic at 11:36 PM on September 12, 2007

Philomath, Oregon
"The City of Philomath’s mission is to promote ethical and responsive municipal government which provides its citizenry with high quality municipal services in an efficient and cost effective manner."
The town said it did not know there was a blogger named philomath
posted by Cranberry at 12:42 AM on September 13, 2007

I saw it, Dave. I laughed, and thought that it was a nice gesture.

I saw it too. Now that it's gone, I'm laughing.
posted by trondant at 9:17 AM on September 13, 2007